The way blake is proudly taking credit for using her own clothes in the movie when the outfits are notoriously horrendous is hillarious on so many levels to me
I liked it but then again I really love overalls and patterns. The only things I didn't like is when she would mix two different patterns items or when she would have the camouflage jacket bc that's not my thing.
My main issue is it makes zero sense for the character. It looks like a branding contract where Blake and Colleen got paid to show Louis Vuitton boots 🙄 in a DV movie.
@@exaggeratedswagger7485 I don't think people are making him out to look innocent. We are just observing how he is the only one that actually focuses on the meaning behind the book.
Blake strikes me as a 16 year old cheerleader with no empathy. That’s the vibe. Like “wow so sorry that happened to you but don’t bring the vibe down girl GAWDDD”
Omg my mom always says that stuff. If I call her crying and need someone to talk to she yells at ke and says don't come around if I am gonna bring her vibe down
So true and spot on!!! I get the same vibe from her. She always looks the same and she makes stupid jokes on someone’s behalf and then adds….,just a joke! 🙄🙄
Honestly, the fact that Blake Lively is in interviews talking about this movie like it’s a RomCom and not a movie about ABUSE is insane to me. The whole team has a problem.
Which makes me ask a few questions: did the movie shoot give her enough/too much space to disconnect from the violence she was portraying (thank mercy she didn't try to method act the abuse and become an actual victim...)? Is her emphasis on the positives a symptom of toxic positivity, dissociating/masking the actual harm she felt on set, or bad advice from PR/marketing folks? What is her experience with DV and if she has experienced it, are these her normal tactics to mentally and socially protect herself from harm/shame/guilt/discomfort?
Its the exact problem I have with the book itself actually. It was pitched as a romance (edit - to be clear people told me it was a romance and I never got an indication otherwise, idk if Colleen herself made it clear it was about DV). I read it on an airplane with no other context, then got kicked in the face with super triggering DV out of nowhere. Great concept horrible execution
One interviewer asked, "this movie tackled sensitive topics, how can a real life survivor of domestic abuse approach you in real life to talk about these topics" and she started rambling about being a Virgo and her shampoo and her husband. I physically cringed. She sounds detached from reality. 💀😭
@@lilo3506 I read the book knowing it was about abuse and it honestly didn't affect the reading experience like colleen hoover thinks it will? Yes, the weight of the plot twist is taken away but it still conveys the same message at the end of the day. The fact that this book is dedicated to/based off her mother who was a victim of domestic abuse makes the fact that she doesn't want to include trigger warnings so insensitive and disrespectful.
i'm surprised that more people aren't as bothered by the promotion of blake lively's alcohol line in relation to this movie as i am. there are numerous studies and anecdotal experiences from victims of domestic violence that show how alcoholism can increase violent behavior. it feels even more tone-deaf than her promoting her haircare line
Blake redirects the meaning with “she’s more than a victim”. I appreciate the sentiment but this story quite literally focus on the points in her life she was. The whole “abuse builds character” is a tired perspective.
@@hensleysammons2998 redirecting the meaning doesn't and shouldn't imply blindsiding the audience into believing something the movie is not. It calls for utter insensitivity and tone-deafness rather than being a piece of awareness on the topic as sensitive as DV.
"I never saw her as just a victim, she's so much more than this thing that happened to her" BUT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT THE THING THAT HAPPENED TO HER THAT'S WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT
Disagree. DV is ONE of the major topics of the movie. The others are romance, love, childhood trauma, depression, generational trauma and overcoming traumatic experiences.
Not to defend Blake but the movie also talks about how she learned from the past, walked away from her abuser, and got better for her daughter. It really is about more than just what happened to her.
Exactly - Blake Lively's take here is a genuinely good thing to remember when talking about abuse survivors (and arguably one of the reasons a lot of abuse survivors don't come forward with their stories - they're aware that from that point on, public perception of them is going to be as a victim first, person second, personal achievements a distant third) but this was just...not the time or the place, and definitely not the execution.
Not to mention, Blake changed a lot of the power difference between the couple. Lily was originally much younger and more se*ually inexperienced. And the designer clothes? Lily was ment to be a single, young woman, working in a flower shop - where does she get gucci from?
@@misashanoo4322 it’s just really weird of them to basically high-jack the movie when a). it was probably never gonna be good to begin with because the source material is insane and b). Weird to have both of them basically dig themselves into the positions to change and have influence over the movie, thinking this is gonna be good for their careers
yeah, considering how passionate he is about the cause, it's fitting that he's the one who plays the abuser because he understands the victims. It's vital that those who play these kinds of antagonists emphasise that it's not okay.
I feel like playing an abuser and attempting to understand them would only give someone more perspective on the issue, which is probably why he has such nuance in his insights
Justin seems so endlessly professional and talented and thoughtful. I hope this drama ends up being a blessing in disguise and ends up boosting his career.
Very naive thinking he is innocent. He hired the Depp PR ( which seems hella shady considering Depp came out of his whole fiasco with reputation intact ) to represent in this mess and clearly tried to garner sympathy like Depp and also all the costars supporting Blake in this situation tells a lot which you seem to ignore conveniently.
The entire cast being on Blake's side really makes me question the atmosphere on the set. I prefer his approach to the movie much more, but I'm sceptic about his behaviour behind the scenes.
As someone who was in multiple abusive relationships, if I went to a movie in theaters that was advertised as a romance and instead it was a movie about DV, I would 100% break down in the theaters and have to leave. You just can’t bamboozle people with traumatic stuff man
@@strangeaelurus If you know that you are sensitive to certain topics or images you have to make sure to protect yourself from them. I believe that is your responsibility and not someone elses. The question is just whether this is easy enough for you to do and I would say watching a trailer of a movie before you go and pay to watch that movie is very easy to do. But that's just my opinion, we don't have to agree on this
@@eineperson3689 literally just told you that people AVOID seeing trailers. Plus, the people avoiding the trailer would obviously think that this was a rom-com with how it's being advertised elsewhere! Did we watch the same video?
I feel like it’s soo clear Blake wanted her own Margot Robbie Barbie tour marketing moment, + her obsession w being deemed The Powercouple of the moment + a chance to sell her million products to wannabe gossip girls. That side of the ‘team’ clearly took over and totally ruined the project so I’m glad they’re getting called out and hope we get a directors cut.
Yup and that is why Colleen Hoover supports Blake’s vision because it was literally the carbon copy of how she advertised the book in the first place and still does. She literally doesn’t see any harm in that.
@@yourleftknee3720 You're not slow! Even though there's already been people talking about how bad Colleen is before the movie trailer was released, you dont have to be so chronically online to understand the drama immediately
The whole PR thing on Blake's side just shows what the intention of the author ACTUALLY was which is romanticising toxic relationships as she does in literally ALL HER BOOKS, despite Justin's attempts to make it better and market it as it should've been from the begining, which was DV awarness.
the only one im really "trusting" is Justin cause hes the only one talking about it. while Colleen made a FCKING NAILPOLISH like girl you dont care about the women you care about the MONEY
yeah same i know i don't know what really happened but the situation is kind of reminding me of topher grace and how he was the weird one out of the 70s cast he seems like the only one interested in making this movie with good intentions
I can’t believe that she failed to mention that Colleen Hoover is a terrible person it’s WELL known in the book community her son r@ped a girl and collleen whole hearted defended him.
For real- after seeing the interview where she was a total mean girl to the interviewer who congratulated her on her baby bump, I feel like she’s projecting her insecurities onto the situation.
even someone who doesn’t weigh that much would be potentially hard to lift if you recently had a back injury. i really don’t see how a private conversation about his health with his trainer is fat shaming her
23:56 I wish you would have read this entire screenshot. It reveals more that Blake and that whole group was upset that she couldn’t make the message more light and flowery than actually focusing on the D.V. message. He’s called “borderline abusive” because he won’t listen to what she wants to do with the movie? And seeing what she tries to with the movie making it look like a romcom? I would get fed up too.
I didn’t even think about it possibly being about dv when I saw some of the trailers on tv, I just thought it was another terrible romcom but apparently it’s even worse than that😭 definitely one of the worst parts about the adaptation in general(other than it being adapted in the first place)
Pls it's soooo out of place. I feel like they missed the mark so much bcs its looks like a "feel good" movie, but its not? Not really? Almost like they wanted it to be a different movie.
I have a feeling the “workplace toxicity” Blake’s talking about was Justin trying to push the actual message of the movie & not settling for a rom com. I imagine Blake’s cut of the movie was much brighter & focused on the positive & sexy parts of the book whereas Justin’s would be more focused on the dark reality of DV. it’s totally speculation but this is just my theory with everything out there so far
Even having the BALLS to try to make a romcom out of this story is extremely disrespectful. That and having absolutely zero class in her interviews and no sympathy for victims is wild.
What if “they” decided they have this opportunity to sell more tickets billing it as a rom com via Gossip girl and so they just decided to do that to make the largest profit and DV advocacy be damned. I think that may be most likely what happened.
It also sounds like Justin was trying to direct and Blake was trying to tell him what to do. She tried to have her fingers in everything else, it wouldn't surprise me if he put his foot down and she didn't necessarily like that someone told her 'no'.
It's wild to me in 2024, where mental health awareness is more openly discussed and using trigger and content warnings are considered a common courtesy, there is a movie about DV being promoted as a Rom Com. The hell?! In 2024??
Because acceptance and understanding isn't actually happening. It's not just trigger warnings it's censorship so yeah awareness might be happening but because you can't say r@pe or abu$e victims can't actually talk about their experience with real mature words either ... So it's all still wtfff man
@@ellecimz6618don’t let tiktok define you. You CAN say those words. The only reason people ever started censoring themselves was because of an imaginary TikTok algorithm that may or may not shadowban you if you say bad words. That’s it. Don’t care about MAYBE being shadow banned on TikTok? Stop censoring yourself. It’s very easy.
The difference between the two versions of the main posters is down bad CRAZYY, in Blake's ver they might as well delete Justin's existence entirely lol
It is a story from Lily's point of view but considering it's a story which surrounds the cycle of abuse which happens in her relationship, Ryle's character is at least a major part of the narrativr and would be unfair to leave him out of the promotional material
My main takeaway is that they shouldn't even have made an adaptation out of any of Hoover's books. Lining the pockets of a woman who minimalizes abuse in her books, is a...choice.
Definitely. The book has been an atrocious mess from the start, and the whole romance vs DV controversies has been a thing since before they even made this movie. It's not just Blake Lively problem, it's a Colleen Hoover rooted issue. I understand this is a best-selling novel and all, but I'm pretty sure there are better books with less problematic authors out there to adapt into movie.
IKR! when the news came out that this book was getting a movie ...left me literally like...ew wtf whyy?! Plus its not a surprise the movie being marketed as Rom-com since that's exactly how CoHo books are marketed.
Reynolds and Lively’s strongest tool is there combined PR machine. Both were B-list before they got married, together they are 10 times greater than the sum of their parts. Better than any of their acting, their artistic pursuits, is the narrative around their love story. Their tweets, their snarky-but-loving photos, their cross promotion. They are Barbenheimer: The Couple. I cannot imagine how hard their PR is working behind the scenes to discredit Justin without having it traced back to Lively. They are pulling every “LOOK OVER HERE” media distraction in the book. This is the kind of holistic campaign that should be studied in university courses in the future. I wonder if they have the other actors locked into contracts, which pulls them onto Blake’s “side” (my speculation only).
To be honest, contracts are not even needed. You have a power hungry couple with tons of influence and money, the kind that can stop a movie being made or an actor being cast as they're both producers. As an actor/actress with far less clout, or even as a technician, I'd be so scared of losing work opportunities that I'd close my mouth shut. That's how bullies roam free.
Mhmmmm!! That first paragraph is the breakdown I haven’t seen mentioned. These are not the cream of the crop talent but somehow they have brainwashed the masses with their cheap all American love story glossing over the age gap relationship off the heals of Reynolds’s divorce and the two meeting on a movie set immediately before that divorce. Even Ryan constantly being pushed as handsome nevermind sexy is a joke!! The insecure kid that had a minor glow up that uses humor to mask his mediocrity. He’s goody and cute on his best day. Can’t even give him cute bc you can see right through the wholesome act.
@@SolCareMimii know this is mean. But while they are attractive, i dont get the “extremely attractive” comparison they get. They just seem like your “maxed” middle class couple, which seems to be their target audience
i kinda don't even know if you'd need contracts; it's Blake Lively (beloved superstar, for all the reasons you mentioned) vs an actor from a CW show 5-10 years ago (a show i love that he did a good job in! but hardly a high station of clout). even with this drama coming to light, i wouldn't bet money that Jenny Slate's career would be fine if she sided against The Power Couple.
It rubs me the wrong way how Blake not only tried to not talk about DV and honor the story but how she kept saying "Lily is so much more than that" when yes she is, but it just feels like she is minimizing the impact being abused has, it takes so much from a person, it breaks so much. Also you are right, instead of money for flowers they should have donated. Financial abuse is a huge reason why women stay too
her main positive trait is the courage and strength to work through that and find her freedom back, not all the superficial bs she is wanting to talk about. I mean acomplishments are so meaningless when you realise what truely matters wich is just peace lol
@@Puuws lmao it takes years to even accept it wasnt your fault , when you scape no matter how obvious or bad the abuse is you still feel guilty or missed them, is not about "peace is more important te-hee moment", abuse will 100% kill important traits you used to have and maybe they will never comeback , you will lose some sense of self and change is not conscious to you , a good message should be acknowledging what occurred without minimizing or maximizing seeing an accurate description of what truly ocurred that is true healing , ignoring the true is just unhealthy
I haven’t read the book, or seen the movie bc I refuse to have anything to do with Colleen Hoover. But what I feel like could have been said is “these situations have had so much formative impact on Lily and who she is, but they are not the only things about her” idk something like that
@@brynnleighweaver1682 I feel like its honestly just an odd portion to focus on especially in a social climate where victim blaming isnt uncommon. I get that it isnt the only trait but noone is really saying that. And since the other side is absent (people saying being a victim of abuse is the only thing there is to someone) it feels like theyre pulling the it into “being a victim is a mindset choice” which is frustrating. “Shes so much more than a victim” feels like such a nothing statement because they dont want to speak on or dont understand the issue
Omg 💀 and the fact that blake was against the age gap when her dear hubby was idk almost 40 when she was in her mid 20s when they got together 💀 girl the call is coming from inside the house
You can tell Blake has never feared for her life due to DV and it shows. Not wishing any harm on her at all, just stating she is lacking empathy towards those who are still struggling to this day with the repercussions of an unstable household. It's so easy to "see the bright side" of being a survivor when she doesn't have to deal with lifelong trauma. I am not thankful of how far I've come despite what I've lived through, I wish I wouldn't have gone through it at all.
yeeeaa, all the "its not who she is", "its not her identiy" [re the character], but actually, in this story, in that moment, it *is* who and what that character is.... thems the shakes babycakes, that's the time period of the character's story that we are focused in on- the part of the story where she was a victim. Like................... reading comprehension fail, then everything else just dogpiles.
i disagree. it makes me question her view on what a healthy relationship is. shes promoting this movie as romantic. thats concerning. shes making jokes and acting like its not that serious. when it in fact is that serious. trying to cross promote a marvel movie with a serious movie about dv is so inappropriate.
I bounced around 3 different DV shelters for 2 years with my toddler in 2019, until we were placed in a safe house for women. It was not fun, there were no flowers. We escaped. We are safe now and healing as time goes on. Blake seems ridiculous and her privilege really shows.
One thing, that wasn't mentioned here is, that in fact it does not "end with us". She shares custody with her abuser over their child. By doing that she continuesly gives him power over her life and puts her child at risk as well. To make things worse she names her daughter after the younger brother Ryle shot as a child. In my opinion this throws the whole message of the movie and the book out the window. Colleen Hoover is a terrible person, who through all of her books romanticises abuse, which puts her incredible young reader at risk.
It's disappointing. Instead of cashing in on the virality of the book I wish someone had taken some time to make a movie about DV that gives survivors their due. Criticism about about Hoover is widespread and documented but these people only see the dollar signs. Hoover's books will hopefully be forgotten as a bizarre fad and maybe someone else can make an actual meaningful difference as the public consciousness is on DV.
@AwesomelyAna right like forgive and forget UNLESS this man violently attacks you then he should not have access to you or your kid ANYMORE, to willingly share custody with an abuser is crazy work
I can confirm as a child i was exposed to all the messed up stuff because i have no parents, and now as an adult it severely impacts my mental health, and my relationships with people especially men, like i feel this suicidal ideation on a daily basis, i pray that one day this type of stuff can finally stop being romanticized once and for all.
Yes. Also I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cover art for the movie he posted. Omg it is so good. I read the book two years ago and it just fits so perfectly bc it’s ominous but after you know the story it’s like “woah! wtf”
EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words. This experience was 10 years ago and I am in a very loving and happy relationship now. I hope you are all safe and well ❤️🙏 I related to Lily’s story so deeply. My partner was a prolific director in the city I lived in. Charismatic, attractive, romantic, funny. The first year of the relationship was amazing. Then he slapped me for having an opinion he didn’t like. A few months later he slapped me again. It only escalated from there. But not one thing happened in that first year. I was already in love with him, so it wasn’t as simple as just leaving. He knew that slapping wouldn’t leave a lasting mark, so that was his weapon of choice for a while until he once punched me so hard it knocked me out, but he did it on the back of my head so again - no visible mark. Our relationship culminated with him destroying an entire room of our home - he ripped the headboard off of our bed, hit me over the back with it and then grabbed everything in the room and smashed it to pieces, ripped sockets out of the walls and pushed me up against a wall screaming at me asking why I was “pretending to be scared” of him. He literally couldn’t process how to be responsible for his own actions and would always find a way to convince me that things were my fault but not this time. It was only when it got to that point that I found the strength to leave him. This is why it breaks my fucking heart that the book has now been tainted by this movie fiasco/drama. I had never once read a book that I related to like this one and now Blake and Colleen have shit all over the people the book meant the most to. Something I will never forgive either of them for.
i’m so sorry you had to go through something like this, i’m hoping you are safe and that you have loving people around you. i’m so sorry that an experience so similar to yours has been whittled down by blake and colleen to be a story about a woman ‘finding herself’ and that they’ve completely undermined stories like yours. you are valid. your feelings are valid and you deserve miles and miles better than what you experienced with your ex. praying that you’re doing better now. Jesus loves you ❤.
Its funny to me how in that resurfaced interview where she was being rude to a journalist because she asked about their oitfits....while this entire movie has been about her shoes, and rings and florals, custom jeans and whatever
And Blake and Ryan talk about their kids all the time in interviews. Why would she act as if it's sexist when someone congratulates her about being pregnant and asks about the costumes she wore in a period film in an interview about said film?🤔🫤
Don't forget it was an interview for her being in a Woody Allen movie. So asking actresses about their wardrobe is a bigger feminism faux pas than working with a man who groomed his step daughter according to her.
The journalist congratulated her on her baby bump she responded "congratulations on your bump".. the journalist was not pregnant and she has had infertility issues.. The video was very awkward and you could feel how the journalist was being excluded for nothing.
15:10 OMG the other poster? I’m so anger that they didn’t go with that one. It’s a million times better than the “girl boss flower” one. It’s stark in your face and creepy vibes that feel like you are interrupting a tense intimate moment that’s very on edge. It’s also just designed better? It would at least make viewers AWARE what kind of movie this is.
agreed! the tagline is a trigger warning in itself, without foregoing summary OR trigger warning!! and the photo simply is telling enough. it shows that it was intimate.. but that the woman is uncomfortable or concerned. i cannot believe they got to go with the flowery one, when the biggest critique readers had w/ hoovers book was that she turned DV into a plot twist & made the cover look like it’d be a romance novel. baldoni’s cover alone could have prevented allll of this
I might be deeping it but I like the final poster, it has a darker side on the left like it's her dark past behind her, she's leaving it behind. I also like that Blake says it's not only about the domestic abuse. I think there seem to be many dark themes, and in the end, she is a survivor, but she's also much more. As a child of DV, it's important to see more to a person than just their trauma.
I think it’s insane how little Blake has talked about the actual plot of the movie. Grab your girlfriends and wear your Florals. Girl it’s not the Barbie movie. And I get it she’s trying to make light out of the situation. But the fact that this is such a serious topic and it hits home for so many. It almost feels like a slap in the face.
She’s trying to make it about Lilly is more than a victim. She is completely unrealistically unaware and deaf to the fact that - even when women leave these situations - it leaves a wound - a tender spot. No matter how strong a woman is / no matter how much time has passed - these are tough moments and tender moments in women’s lives. Not a let’s play dress up and sit on our couch and giggle and fluff our hair. Even after women leave situations like this - they still wind up un alived. Their children too sometimes. This book was about a very complex relationship. A complex situation many people have lived thru similarly. People who have lived thru these scenarios - or are raising children of abusers……there is no denying the weight this carries. These women aren’t worried about their hair and a cute dress moment. They aren’t grabbing their girlfriends and celebrating their independence. They are heart broken 💔 - and sometimes still very scared
Update. I just watched the movie (I read the book 2 years ago) and oh my gosh as someone who has witnessed my own family deal with these themes. It just made me so upset and uncomfortable watching Blake play this role knowing it doesn’t really seem like she cares. And just promoting hair products. DEFINITELY NOT A GRAB YOUR GRILYS LETS HAVE FUN MOIVE…..Like wtf I felt sick after watching the movie. Definitely felt like a slap in the face.
Someone said its very clear Blake has never experienced DV since she lacks empathy/understanding of the trauma it brings. Its easy to see the bright side of DV when you have never experienced it and that is so clearly her. Very annoying tbh
I've been seeing a lot of Colleen Hoover books cycling through the thrift stores lately. I haven't heard anything good about the author and it seems people love her or hate her weird books. I had no idea that there was a movie until now and I'm not thrilled about that.
@@biteofdogI’m so glad I didn’t buy the book. I thought it was going to be much more profound and in depth than it was. It was honestly a shame after hearing about the topic
notably colleen hoover has defended her son SAing a girl and also the fact that the doctor character PRESSURING the protagnist into sex isn't framed as horribly wrong is also weird
Why do you guys parrot the same misinformation? When the girl reached out to her regarding her son, she apologized and gave the girl her lawyer's info in case she wanted to press charges.
@@bunnyellabelllook it up. It’s online. The whole story. Also it was not SA it was harassment. Not saying that’s okay but just pointing out that people have the tendency to exaggerate. Someone in the comments on this video said it was r@pe. When in reality the two had never met, it was all on Snapchat
Honestly, I’m so disappointed in Blake. I’ve been a long time fan of hers. But seeing her make fun and make light of a survivor coming up to her so try to talk about the film that she’s so supposedly proud of is really disgusting. I feel like Justin has been really respectful while Blake has just appeared to be very tactless and tone deaf.
@@JaylinFlanigan An interviewer asked Blake what would be the best way for people who connect to her character/topics in the film to approach her to talk about it and Blake answered in jokes and talked about how she’s a Virgo
@@Michellemariiyeah she was kinda cocky for sure & didn’t even answer the question. There’s the one where she ignores & makes low key fun of an interviewer on an old interview b4 all this I seen today too. Never thought she could be such a mean B but I saw what I saw.
Thank you for saying that you worry that people might think “it’s not that bad for me” so they stay. That is exactly what I did !! I gave the best years of my life to a man who thought of me as his property because “He wasn’t as bad” as the abusers I saw on tv or around me. It did escalate over the years but I always found a way to justify his behavior. I appreciate you saying this more than I can express! Thank you
My husband (who previously survived an abusive relationship) wanted to take me as a cute date night--based on the trailers. When I told him what it was about, the odd trailers, and terrible press junket, his face just went pale and was like I am so glad I did not jump the gun for that. Survivors of all DV (or child abuse) are going to be terribly shocked. The marketing is TERRIBLE.
Thank god you knew about it beforehand. I can’t imagine someone in the same situation as your husband finding this out the hard way. This marketing is absolutely irresponsible.
@@PiaPancakes There are multiple comments in here tha unfortunately found out "the hard way" and had a bad reaction. This is so unnecessary, why ruin people's whole week with a PTSD episode when they could've simply done an appropriate marketing campaign🙃
I roll my eyes every time someone does the whole "what happened to me doesn't define me," or, "I'm more than a victim." It's true, but it's also not true. It becomes true as you heal. Tell me you've never been in a long term abusive relationship without telling me you've never been in a long term abusive relationship. Abuse can take away every other part of you. Abuse can strip you clean of any humanity you had. You are a victim and you don't have the energy, capacity, or memory of anything else.
And it gives the implication that people can abuse each other and it’s okay because “we are not victims” … it almost gives the abuser a free pass because “it didn’t impact who the victim was”
I always took “I’m more than a victim” as the non-lethal version of “more than a statistic.” Like you’re not just an abuse victim, not just a dead body left on the side of the street. You’re a person. That’s what I think of when people say “abuse doesn’t define me.” Since that person isn’t just their abusers victim. It’s a statement about agency, healing, and the acknowledgment of one’s personhood beyond their victimization. It can definitely be used condescendingly, and it’s for sure more indicative of someone who has “healed.” That doesnt make it a sentiment that’s less valid though. Abuse does everything you listed and more. The whole “tell me you’ve never been in an abusive long term relationship without telling me” thing is pretty presumptuous. The idea that anyone that uses those strings of words has no idea what it’s really like to have lived through that experience is pretty iffy.
yes it’s like the girlboss hustle culture toxic positivity lens of domestic violence 🙄 like growing up in that environment actually shaped my brain for the rest of my life, even as i heal i will never actually erase that part of my life
It rubbed me the wrong way that she was talking so much about Lily being “more than a victim” because that’s not really what the movie is about? Like, it would make more sense to talk about It Starts With Us that way, but for most of the movie Lily IS being abused. The abuse is actively happening, Lily IS a victim, and her victimhood is a huge part of the story. It obviously isn’t the whole story, but Blake was just undermining or minimizing it.
i was in UTTER NEED of a chronically online girl recap of this drama bc omg????? this all has been insane. why is blake lively SOLELY talking about fashion and albums in interviews of a film that is about abuse???? the marketing of this has all been horrible.
It feels so fake as if she is unable of empathy , i know there is no need to over analyze it yet reminds me christians saying " is god's wil" when something horrible ocurred like" a child was r@ped ? Things happened for a reason , god is testing them !😊 " lack of empathy and reading the room
SAME. I knew about the weird tone in advertising, but i really needed her to cover this weird behind the scenes ish. I didn't get really get why people were falling out of love with reynolds and blake before now, but seeing it in 4k like this makes me kind of sad....and very annoyed.
I went ALONE bc I just moved after leaving my abusive ex and don’t have friends here yet. Literally SOBBED in the theater and had to leave bc I just wasn’t prepared. Yes, that’s on me for not researching but i just went mid-day on a whim and had seen Blake promoting it as some happy cute chick flick. Sooo basically Blake and I have have beef now.
I feel like the movie and book were good. but the marketing and telling people it's a rom com WHEN IT IS DEFINITELY NOT is so messed up. Like things like this can be so harmful to peoples mental health. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Don’t accept blame for “not researching” it was adverted as one thing and delivered something else. If you open a lemonade and get tea it’s on the company so why isn’t this one solely on Blake? 😊
You can tell who either took the time to understand victims/is a victim and who doesn’t care to understand/has never been a victim and its so stark its scary.
my biggest problem is the campaign feels like that kid who writes in his notes with giant markers and glitter pens about a serious historical incident. yk?
I'm sorry blake coming out after the backlash against her claiming that justin baldoni fat shamed her (even though he made no specific rude remark) comes across as her trying to save face to me.
He was literally just trying to protect his back. If Blake can't come to terms with the fact that newly postpartum women weigh more than they usually do, that her problem to work through. He shouldn't sacrifice his health to coddle her feelings.
There was always something about Blake that felt "off" to me. But these are celebrities and I dont know them, so i usually just chalk it up to not getting a full picture of the person. Seeing how Blake has handled this movie's press, treated interviewers, and tried to make the one person taking the movie's messaging seriously out to be some creep feels like the pieces to the picture I was missing. It's disappointing to see her behave that way and be so flippant and rude about such a serious matter. Thank you for consolidating all of this info.
The fat-shaming comment by Blake is so weird, as a ballet dancer I can attest that lifting people is dangerous (especially for someone with back problems) and asking about it is proper conduct. He didn't say "you're too heavy for me to do it," he asked his trainer how much he needed to be able to lift safely. It honestly contributes more to fat-shaming culture to perpetuate this idea of being secretive about your weight because knowing it is "bad". It seems like she's grasping at straws to try and make him look bad after her press choices have gotten her criticism, and trying to offset the rumours that their on-set conflict is due to the fact that Justin was much more serious about depicting DV properly than she was. But then again hiring the agency that defended notorious abuser Johnny Depp doesn't make Justin look good either, and there are plenty of cases of abusive men putting up successful "feminist"/liberal fronts so we'll have to see
Yeah like he's just trying to manage his back problems and she's out here victimizing herself. Some people with back issues struggle to carry their toddlers, of course the risks are increased carrying a 5'10 grown woman.
You've hit on all of my exact thoughts while watching this. Getting advice on proper technique and safety in order to lift another whole ass person is just common sense. From all the marketing, it seems like Baldoni is the only one taking it seriously and treating DV with the gravity it deserves. But once it got to him hiring that particular agency... it absolutely gave me pause. It's strange that a guy who's been such a visible advocate wouldn't be aware that the agency he's using was very publicly weaponized by an abuser against his victim. :/
No, I had the exact same thought. Ballet dancers and ice skaters who lift partners literally train so they can do it safely. Blake is tall and he has back problems. This just sounds like insecurity issues.
Based exclusively on Blake’s outfits, I had assumed this movie was about ending all the bad stuff in the world like global warming and saving the flowers. Very glad I watched this first.
Blakes media strategy makes perfect sense to me - because Ryan has made his fortune doing advertisements using his “persona” and selling name-branded products in concert with movie promotions. So if Blake wants to sell hair products or whatever she has to make a movie that fits her band, and I guess a movie about DV doesn’t sell product, but a movie about a quirky flower-shop owner does. All the big actors are doing this, but I think Blake made a mistake by accepting a role that doesn’t fit her band.
ok but Ryan breaking the writers strike baffles me. his persona is the epitome of "weird quirky kinda hot in the weird way, i was the last picked growing up, im so small, someone notice me, I use humour to make myself more comfortable" but the fact he took the spot of an underpaid writer for his own personal gain and Blake being too in love with herself to realise she just exposed him for it is just the icing on the cake. both have too much power for their own good😭 on another note... oh miss Taylor Swift why are these the friends you surround yourself with😭
As Aretha Franklin said when she was asked how she felt about Taylor Swift... "gowns, beautiful gowns". She'd previously gushed over other female artists before being asked about her. The legend spoke. Why are Blake and Ryan simpering about after HER?
girl if you think taylor is any better you need to open your eyes immediately. they’re just like each other, you’re asking why but you know why, you’re just in blissful ignorance because you’re a fan. you can still enjoy her music but come on, don’t be obtuse, it’s pure ignorance
1. thank you for explaining this! 2. holy crap you are so beautiful 3. congratulations on 1 million subs!! you beyond deserve it with the amount of time and research you put into these.
I'm so glad RUclips started implementing timestamped comments popping up because I totally would've missed the cat if it weren't for this comment. Thank you 🐈
Don't think she was ever considered tbh, none of the actresses that acted or did cameos in that movie seem to be in her circle of annoying white blond women. She would've turn to dust in front of American Ferrera lol
so glad you’re talking about this… also all i can ever think about with colleen hoover is “ ‘wow…. they’re so big’ ‘haha i know’ ‘we both laugh at our sons big balls’ ” yeah.
It's so random like.....imagine having this one trick pony actor, that can only play this one funny ahah role, come in and put his hands on a movie that talks about things completely out of his league.... Like, I would've understood to a certain degree if it was some famously very talented actor that puts his nose and money into the script\dialogue all the time, like Edward Norton or Adam Driver, but Ryan Reynolds? The Deadpool guy?😭😭😭
I blame the marketing of this movie on the writing of the book. Colleen Hoover is not a good enough writer to talk about serious issues like domestic violence
There's a weird theme in hyped books... Twilight, the weird bdsm books with that Grey guy, it ends with us. All involve a really toxic relationship as romantic. Wtf is up with people???!
@@phoebeel the bdsm books are written as erotica. Erotica is different from normal fiction, in the way that it is set in the universe of the bdsm "scene". That's why they seem weirdly abusive, there's no need for safe words because the book is directly taking place in fantasy. Unfortunately people often confuse erotica with romance (romance with smut will have safe words and obvious boundaries, because it is not in the fantasy scene), which leads to the monstrosity genre now known as Dark Romance. It Ends With Us isn't dark romance though, rather CoHo is just a bad writer who can't decide on a genre for her books
@@phoebeelmost people probably think that healthy relationships where the couple is loving and respectful to each other are boring, hence there are almost always toxic relationships and male protagonists in popular books like the ones u mentioned. it's horrifying, imo.
@@studygram_can confirm. Me and my husband are the most long term settled down couple of our immediate friends and family under 70 years of age and we always get the same comments “I want what you two have” and “is that not really boring”. I’ve noticed that they all seem to think that drama and fighting = romance. And it really doesn’t. In my mind it’s the opposite. But they all get bored or don’t have interest in quiet functional relationships.
I agree, this definitely isn’t over. As of right now, I can say I agree with how Justin has promoted the film and I’ve seen a side of Blake I never knew existed before.
I've always wondered why she and Taylor Swift are so close to seeming nearly sisterly when Blake always seemed very down to earth and considerate and Taylor seems like a product of her environment from being a star since her teenaged years. I wondered if maybe that's what balanced them out but I still wondered what they have in common. Now I know what they have in common.
I feel like that's the best thing to do. If it was made clear to me that the source material (Colleen "son's big balls" Hoover) and most of the cast wanted to butcher a serious topic I cared about in a movie, I'll just leave the project
went to the movie with a friend thinking it was a rom com, it was so very triggering and i wish there was a warning before the showing!! changed the trajectory of our week :( best wishes to all other survivors
As the daughter of a mother who fled a domestic violent situation, Blake saying women are much more than that is BS. It’s the same as telling someone “ohh you’re not over that? Or get over it”. That’s why trauma is so horrific it actually does define and change how you view yourself. That’s why DV can be so debilitating, but Blake clearly doesn’t bother to understand the gravity of what she’s performing 😒
Yeah it always bugged me how you see people saying stuff like that as if it’s that easy to just go about your life afterwards and that the trauma you faced shouldn’t matter to you. That you need to just ignore it and move on and be happy! You’re so much more than that! Having trauma isn’t something that we can just girlboss our way out of and decide “I’m done with this, my life belongs to me! That stuff is in the past!” To just move on. Trauma and abuse SHOULDN’T define anyone, but the struggle and turmoil it leaves with you isn’t something we can just collectively abandon and solely focus on the “okay girlie it’s time to be free!” because like… it doesn’t work like that. Like I understand that people who say that are trying to come from a good place but it just feels like a massive oversimplification of an issue by people who don’t fully understand it. Like at least to me stuff like that never fully connected with me and how I experienced trauma, those statements always felt really hollow.
@@wispisanghonestly I think people say stuff like this because dv and abuse survivors being honest about their experiences and their pain makes them uncomfortable, so it is very much a form of dismissal. We live in a society that justifies and even enables abuse, by romanticising abusive behaviours in relationships while simultaneously blaming victims for falling for it. Like 'oh its so romantic when men are aggressively jealous or your girlfriend is obsessively controlling but how didn't you notice you were being abused, you dumb idiot???' Many people don't want to get to the meat of the topic or really acknowledge the reality of it because it would force them to reflect upon the pretty horrifi truth, and the ways in which they may have taken part in this enabling or romanticising - or, the ways they have been abused themselves but don't want to admit because they think victim = worthless. When 'victim' as a word is more derided and mocked than 'abuser', you know something is deeply wrong. But most people don't want to think about what is deeply wrong. They just want to go back to burying it under the rug and you openly talking about the effects abuse have had on you without immediately spinning it to be 'positive' doesn't allow them to do that. That and this weird form of toxic positivity/girl bossery that seems to think that acknowledging the negative, painful parts of life is inherently a bad thing. Like spiritual bypassing isn't a new thing but it seems to have taken a new form lol. Before it was 'This is God's plan' and 'God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers' and now it's 'Let the past go! You create your reality! You get back what you put into the world so if you've been abused your just a really low vibration person and you need to work on that girl!' Almost like it's too painful to acknowledge that while agency is a thing yes some things are outside of your control and bad things happen all the time completely unprompted. So people act like actually everything IS within your control and if you girlboss hard enough nothing bad will ever happen to you again and it's like the bad thing never even happened at all.
I’m a firm believer that both the book and the movie need a trigger warning. It was shocking going into the book thinking it’s a cute romance especially because people were recommending it on booktok.
Love that you added that Blake and Ryan are SCABS! I’ve heard rumors that the original script was very different and that it wasn’t just the rooftop scene.
Unless more examples of Justin being chauvinistic and abusive come out, I’m calling bs. The two instances leaked are so unserious. A singular kiss that went on too long? How long is too long? Did Blake step in choreograph the scene or was the hired intimacy coordinator allowed to do their job?And the “fat shaming” was probably the sensitivity of a postpartum woman misconstruing the man’s caution over a small stunt. An initial insecure/offended reaction is understandable but to weaponize it publicly is uncalled for. His weight question wasn’t even directed towards her lol not to mention she fat shamed an interviewer to her face on camera a few years ago. Come on sis
I agree. Another thing that's very weird to me is how Ryan got involved in the movie just because he wanted to. The cast siding with Blake maybe it's a case of opting to be on Blake AND Ryan team and the opportunities that they can bring.
Ryan interviewed this guy for the press junket. If he really treated his wife so horrible why would he even do that? I call b.s. in the cast and their claims. Especially since people he worked with in the past never said anything about him like that.
I felt odd when I saw Rayn getting involved in this movie's promotion so much. It's so weird how the couple just hijacked the whole movie and sidelined the actual issue that the movie is trying to address.
Even after dozens of footage showing Blake being a bully, the thing that's going to bring her down is her pursuit of trying to make Justin Baldoni look like a predator. "This one kiss. . .he lingered too long and made me feel uncomfortable." What girl?! What actor is going to want to work with her? He'll be taking a chance on being accused of se*ual harassment, or se*ual assault. What actor can be hirable after "Deadpool's" BULLY wife labels you as a predator? She intentionally slandered Justin. What she didn't count on was Justin taking the high road. He's coming out looking like a professional dedicated to getting the word out about DV, whereas Deadpool's BULLY wife is all about fashion and fragrance and false allegations about her co-star.
i have been a fan of her for a hot minute but i fear the “how should people approach you” question was literally built for her to have the opportunity to draw a boundary for herself, perhaps tag a resource with professionals, so that response is Fucking Crazy
Exactly. It was badly worded but he was really saying, "You play a survivor and audiences will look to you as someone who will be able to have a conversation about this. How should they go about that desire to be a part of the conversation with you?"
I saw a comment that said Blake lively seems like a girl who’s had everything work out for her in terms of marriage, success, family, fame, etc. Now obviously, this is a blanket statement and it’s unfair to assume a celebrity doesn’t experience hardship BUT I would say that Blake lively hasn’t approached the topic of DV as sensitively and appropriately as someone with even the slightest bit of real world experience and struggle. I get that a DV survivor isn’t just defined by their abuse but that seems to be Blake’s only takeaway from the movie and therefore trivializing it in a way. It doesn’t define you but it definitely affects and shapes you and should be taken more seriously.
I understand if this book has helped survivors but as survivors we deserve better. This book is not only written terribly but it’s unrealistic and an abusive man will not magically change once you have a baby especially if this man has custody of said child. Not to mention women in abusive relationships are more likely to be abused / k^lled when pregnant so a pregnancy would very rarely if ever inspire an abuser to change his ways. Also atlas is no better he is not an example of a good healthy partner
Its just honestly so sad that "the dumbest people are the loudest" carries over to representation in media. Like people always get the worst representation but it will always be the most popular one 😭😭 then the good rep always goes under the radar....
@@ginihall1234I'm genuinely of the opinion that everyone should read that book. I think it should be required reading in high school, because it's just that important. "It Ends With Us" is perpetuating the myth that abusers are abusive because they are angry and/or traumatized and/or have mental health issues, when the actual driver of abuse is control. Abusers may also have those other things, but real abuse isn't driven by anger or trauma or mental health issues, it's driven by the need to control your partner, full stop.
Ryan's also a member of the WGA so if he was rewriting parts of the script when his union was on strike and then Blake shares that with the media as a cutesy little story about how #couplegoals they are ... that's literally admitting to him being a scab.
leaving a comment during the ad read because hell yeah OCD gang rise up! so cool to hear more youtubers talking about their experience ❤️❤️❤️ and nocd is such a great resource
The fact that Colleen openly says she writes to entertain and not inform or educate while constantly writing abuse is. interesting. Like she absolutely didn’t write the book to help survivors, that’s why she’s so okay with it being portraying as a romcom
I heard in another RUclips video that Colleen's Dad was abusive to her Mom, but she also had a lot of good memories of her Dad. I think her upbringing messed her up in ways she hasn't ever processed and that's why many of her love interests having abusive tendencies.
@@annamelvina216 yeah she definitely has a lot of things to sort out with regards to her own trauma. Like she seems to think that only physical violence is abuse, but that even physical abuse can be excused if the abuser has a sad backstory or their victim is a ‘bitch’, which are both straight from the abuser handbook Most of her romantic leads are practically indistinguishable from her overtly abusive character (who is literally based on her dad), and the women in their lives are vilified if they don’t forgive and excuse them, so it’s not exactly a surprise how many of her fans ended up thinking Lily was evil for not taking Ryle back. The main character of one of her other books, Maybe Not, is even worse than Ryle, constantly demeaning his love interest before physically and sexually abusing her, but they end up happily married and in love, and she’s portrayed as unreasonable for slapping him when he SAs her for the first time. She’s essentially conditioned her audience to believe that Hoover men can commit as much violence as they want, while the women have to be sassy yet demure, passive, and codependent otherwise they’re bitches who deserved to be abused She really needs a lot of therapy to unpack her internalised abuse apologia and misogyny, but if her books are anything to go by I don’t think she believes in therapy
It’s crazy that for a movie about M to F abuse you have a famous female essentially abusing a man. Blake used her “fame” and husband to hijack the movie, change the theme and have Ryan rewrite shit for a movie he has NOTHING TO DO WITH. Her trying to direct instead of Justin is wild and then her taking his back concerns as a body shaming jab at her. For all of this to be done by her and then she turns around and says he was abusive is maddening…and also the shit my abusive ex bf did. To find some tiny shit to inflate and make me as bad of a villain as he was used to drive me insane, and I see so much of it here. Like, no honey, he wasn’t being abusive…he’s playing an abusive character…..ya know, bc it’s a movie about abuse! I can’t eyeroll harder if I wanted too
To me it reads more like Ryan having to watch her like a hawk. “It’s your friends and colleagues that are abusive, not me babe” A man of this-kind-of-ambition really rewires your brain 👀
What makes the rewriting the script worse is that it was filmed during the writers strike and the only way they could proceed was because the script was locked in and absolutely no changes could be made. It's a huge f u to all the writers that were on strike
I get your point but since when did it become socially acceptable to refer to women as females outside medical contexts? It’s like incel language has become mainstream or something
I agree but you using female to describe Blake but man to describe Justin destroys your entire point. Cause you are also dehumanizing her through it, which seems incredibly tone-deaf and minimizes the issue of women doing wrong. Because "female" is either used as an adjective or a term used for animals that we humans see as less intelligent than us.
THIS! and then the fact that after she can go "he made me uncomfortable ☹️" because he was directing?? (thats what im getting here) and have media side with her and basically the entire cast/crew feels so gross
idk blake lively rly rubs me the wrong way. the fact she had her wedding on a literal slave plantation and the theme was like old southern belle but she “didn’t know”…. like mhm okay girl whatever u say.
Yeah and the fact that only Ryan responded to the criticism and donated a shit ton of money to organizations when Blake was silent about it…also her clothing line that was antebellum themed like girl what
At a certain point in life ignorance becomes a choice. She knows it's wrong and messed up and she's choosing not to acknowledge or investigate. She's insulated enough by her wealth and whiteness that shs can make the choice to ignore history and context that is inconvenient to her
It's also notable that Colleen Hoover made a nail polish line inspired by It Ends with Us and also tried to make an adult colouring book, but that got canned after backlash... So if it was primarily about creative differences in Blake's "fluffier" RomCom/Girl Power-style vision (which seems to align with Hoover's) vs Justin taking the subject matter very seriously... this makes a lot of sense... We also have 2 different edits/editors for the Blake vs Justin version, different styles of talking about the film, different levels of involvement... Blake advertising her hair care line, her drinks, her husband's projects, the fact that she had her hands in everything from direction, intimacy coordination, clothes, music... the edit... And her wearing clothes from her closet should not be a flex-- it makes her character less relatable to be wearing these high-end fashion pieces.
I have to admit I liked this book back when it came out. I was 18, my mom's a victim of DV (and by extension, me), and I felt Lily's pov was so powerful. Not the plot, and definitely not the cutesy romance on the side. It just felt terrifying seeing her fall in love with someone who could kill her. I haven't read it again because I feel like it was such a pivotal point in my understanding of what was happening in my house when I was a child, and I don't want to spoil it. Then the tiktok girlies got ahold of it and the banalization that comes with a piece becoming mainstream rubbed me the wrong way. I've had years of therapy and I know the trauma won't ever fully leave me, doesn't matter how much I work on it. I'm not just a victim, but being a victim is a part of me, and it should be taken seriously, and much definitely should not be used as a ploy to upload a tiktok of yourself, crying, for the views. Getting a relationship after living through abuse, no matter how healthy it is, is not a romcom. Seeing all of this play down just makes me roll my eyes at how vapid social media and the capitalization of absolutely everything can be
The fact that there's a "fashion breakdown" video on a famous fashion magazine's youtube channel about this movie.... I just... No words at all just absolutely baffling
its still a movie at the end of the day that has stylistic choices that can be analyzed. its like analyzing the literary devices used in a novel, its not disrespectful
The movie is advertised as a Rom-Com because despite the fact that I think CoHo genuinely wanted the book to be seen as a story of DV, the book itself is advertised and dominantly perceived as a ROMANCE😭 a dark romance. Edit: Just in case there's any confusion, I'm not saying that I personally think that this book or movie is romantic. I am saying that it is largely perceived as a romance book because Colleen (and Blake) inappropriately discussed, or attempted to discuss, DV. She clearly did so poorly because so many people THINK this book is a romance. It's marketed as romance. So I do not blame people who are confused about whether or not it's a story of DV or a poorly, poorly done romance. Both Colleen and Blake should be ashamed of how both book and film are being marketed. Justin is the only one with sense.
honestly I feel like she sprinkled in the DV as an "obstacle" in a love story. Before I even purchased the book, I was under the thorough impression that it was solely a romance and nothing more because every single video promoting it completely ignored the DV aspect. She also tried to sell a colouring book based off the book, so I genuinely think she does not think of the DV as a "big deal" despite insisting that she wrote it for her mom, a victim of DV. maybe I'm just too cynical, but I feel like she just added that because she needed an excuse that the DV was a relevant addition to the book and to hide the fact that she's romanticizing/capitalizing on it.
@@orphanbobby7130as someone who used romance books as an escape during the panini, that is unfortunately a common thing in romance. Abuse and wildly problematic stuff being used as plot movement. I describe those as books where female main character is punished. I do like how much the industry is moving this type of behaviour from normalized to dark romance. I would also checkout contrapoints romance video on why it is so popular though. I do think adapting it into a movie was a mistake. What is okay on books is not always okay in live action.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT “ROMANCE” ITS STRAIGHT UP PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR! Please for the love of God stop trying to associate that woman’s books with actual romance novels. It’s enough that it’s gotten polluted as is thanks to the “teen dystopia” craze back then. Please let books ft. abusive relationships DIE FAAAAR AWAY from the romance category…. Please.
i think growing up is just realizing that for the most part rich people are just detached from the world. even if they’re funny and sweet they’re detached and money hungry and i think it really shows here.
This. I have just basically stopped trusting or being emotionally invested in most if not all celebrities. Most of what we see of them isn't even authentic self expression, it's just PR. And more often than not the difference between a likeable celebrity and an unlikeable one is how good their PR team is. Celebrities are people, but only really to those directly around them. To us, they're heavily curated and aggressively managed 'brands' to maintain our interest and their lifestyle. We put them on a pedestal and treat them like they're super human, and often expect things from them we don't from ourselves (like moral perfection, or even sometimes just any form of morality lol). But most of them are pretty mediocre outside of their careers or skills (and sometimes even inside of them - neither Blake or Ryan are AMAZING actors). The only difference is that they're rich, socially unaware, and conventionally attractive. Nothing they do publicly is really off the cuff or authentic anyway. It can't be. So it gets kind of exhausting to get invested and feel like I actually 'know' them only to have them inevitably say or do something stupid or tone deaf that shows how out of touch they are with common human experiences. That said I do appreciate the work many of them do if they're genuinely talented or seem to be doing good things with their influence (like Justin and his healthy masculinity thing). I've just stopped treating them like people I have access to an can really ever know, even a little.
So as someone who 1) is a fat woman and 2) has a job that involves alot of heavy lifting - taking the story at face value, that Justin asked how much Blake weighed and how he can do the lift while protecting his bad back, I don't see that as fat shaming tbh. Being able to lift a whole person can be hard, and Justin is not a young guy, he's 40, I'm inclined to believe he could have back problems. And it's not as if it's a lift done once for a minute or whatever - filming a scene means doing it again and again and again to get it right and get as many different angles as possible. So yeah, wanting to make sure that you're doing this lift in a way that will not hurt you too much doesn't strike me as fat shaming. I can understand she may have been sensitive about her body post-pregnancy, but it isn't fair to put those insecurities back on Justin and twist his words and motivations.
I agree with your comment. My question is... 😊 Why is someone who is concerned for their physical health being labeled as a "fat shamer?" Actually, shame on her for playing the blame game. It's so preschool!
@@Cheezpopcorn agreed! Like I said in my comment, I lift heavy objects at my job all the time and it is so so so easy to lift something wrong and hurt yourself so badly. My boss is really strict on people pairing up on heavier objects as she has badly injured her own back. So I really think he was being pretty reasonable, even if he doesn't have a bad back.
Yeah, if she has a problem weighing more than usual being postpartum, that's her own issue to work through. Justin shouldn't sacrifice his health for her feelings.
YES! I'm 31 and had 2 scoliosis surgeries in my teens (14 and 18) and had back pains for years. It is not rude to ask weight lifting questions when your back is the thing you're worried about. Even jobs ask if you lift 150-160 lbs.
I totally agree, especially because he spoke privately to his trainer about it instead of flat out asking her. It just seemed like a responsible question of optics.
it just seems like blake doesn’t want to acknowledge that the movie is about dv which is so bizarre to me. she won’t utter more than a few words about it. i do think it’s important to highlight that dv survivors aren’t defined by what happened to them, of course. but that doesn’t mean acting like nothing ever happened.
i also hate the narrative of “it doesn’t define me” because for SO many it does! it changed everything about you even down to how your brain functions, it’s okay for it to define you!
@@hdog24 first off, i resent the use of only the word women when speaking about victims of abuse. men are still far too often abused and they are just as valid in their trauma & how they fall in this conversation. secondly, this is about all types of abuse, not just SA (especially considering this movie is about DV as a whole, which is emotional and physical in more ways than just SA alone), and again all are valid in their trauma and how they fall in this conversation. thirdly, where did i decide ANYTHING in my comment? the narrative of “it doesn’t define me” is incredibly often to end up shaming people who have “”bad”” things that define who they are as a person. it makes it so survivors have to be the “perfect victim”, or they’re shamed for “choosing to be a victim their whole lives” “letting it define you” “letting them win” which is clear language to say it’s a choice & you’re giving up the good fight rather than realizing it’s fully okay to have a huge thing that happened to you define you, especially when it literally rewires how your brain works. your own comment fell into that same trap of shaming those of whom it DOES define. the ACTUAL point of my comment was that this is unhealthy to basically create two “classes” of victims, the “perfect victim” the idea of which is one who doesn’t have trauma symptoms, is stronger now because of it, does charity work in a topic that surrounds their abuse,“moves on” in a way that is palatable to everyone else, etc, vs the “bad victim” who has trauma symptoms, still hates their abuser, is heavily impacted by the trauma, identifies with surviving & having been a victim, even just acknowledging that it does define them personally on its own can make you labeled in the “bad victim” category. things that are deemed as shameful or bad are the only things that aren’t allowed to define you, it happens with disability too. it’s ridiculous, bad things that happen DO define us just as much as good things, if not more. people are multifaceted & ever changing. what defines you in a year may be entirely different than today because of your new experiences, and that’s NORMAL
@@lightworthy i wrote my comment when i was in a bad mood, ive been SA’d and i was projecting my issues onto you. I’m sorry, and all the points you made were super well articulated. i gotta think more before i post
What I feel like happened is that Justin couldn't fight for his cut, because blake and ryan are both very popular with a lot of people and because of that if they wanted to push through their own vision even when they originally weren't planning on directing. They could easily steal Justins part because they are more popular and probably found ways to push trough with their vision.
It'll end up backfiring on them. With social media and people posting everything, there are way more receipts and people putting together the pieces of what happened and who's in it for selfish reasons. As long as Justin stays classy, this will help his career and hurt theirs.
Justin is a very nice guy and this was his project to have more awareness about DV. He is just too nice and kind. These two picked the wrong guy to bully. I am a DV victim myself but I have followed Justin’s here and there. I have never seen or heard anything negative about him. It has always been positive. I don’t and never have liked Blake to begin with. As for Ryan even I had heard what he did to his ex-wife I still watched his movies but after this, I am not ever going to watch any movies he produces or has a stand alone movie. I am done with this jerk.
@@mara0633 it is, I once watched an episode of Daredevil that had explicit abuse and it caused an anxiety attack and I could only pause it once I could control my body and thoughts again. Trigger warnings are so damn important.
@@mara0633 If trigger warnings help people, how are they an issue? Whether it's the movie creators responsibility to offer warnings, sure, people can have different opinions about that. But why NOT? Pretty easy to add on a line of text if you ask me.
Damn I remember when people used to be responsible for their own feelings and behavior. Also you can google beforehand to see if you can handle the material. This whole “the world owes you hand-holding and blankets for your triggers” is so annoying
The way Justin says that Blake is ready to direct the next movie should tell us everything we need to know. Besides, he looks rather sad in that same video, like he wanted this movie to be much more for and a great portrait of DV and now it's just marketed as romcom bs
Honestly, I’ve been a fan of Justin Baldoni and his podcast for so long. When I heard he picked up this movie I was surprised because how controversial CoHo has been in the past, but I was like “if anyone is going to direct it and it HAS to be a man, then it might as well be him”. So considering he has dedicated his life to healthy masculinity and being an ally to women, I’m trusting him (as weird as it feels to side with a man in a story like this)
right, when i first saw he wasnt included in a vanity fair project with the rest of the cast, i thought “huh, there MIGHt be something going on, but then again hes also director so hes prob just busy, but still maybe theres something going on…” and then i hear alll of this and im like… idk guys i wouldnt wanna be on a press tour with these people either 😭
omg right! I've been a fan of Baldoni since Jane the Virgin, and was honestly shocked to see him working on a Colleen Hoover movie. However when I learned his goal was not to glamourise it but paint the truthful picture it made a lot more sense. He's been very open about sexism/toxic masculinity, I mean the dude even had a ted talk on it.
The way blake is proudly taking credit for using her own clothes in the movie when the outfits are notoriously horrendous is hillarious on so many levels to me
She generally has p good taste but I agree lmao, it’s like she wanted a movie for herself, like JLo
@@hollyk7052 my deepest apologies but she dresses like a randomised sim 👌
I liked it but then again I really love overalls and patterns. The only things I didn't like is when she would mix two different patterns items or when she would have the camouflage jacket bc that's not my thing.
Oh I loved the clothes haha
My main issue is it makes zero sense for the character. It looks like a branding contract where Blake and Colleen got paid to show Louis Vuitton boots 🙄 in a DV movie.
The way the male director who played the abuser is more of a girls girl than the woman who played the victim 💀
No literally this is what I’ve been thinking
I really don’t think he’s as innocent as people are making him out to be
@@exaggeratedswagger7485Why?
@@exaggeratedswagger7485 I don't think people are making him out to look innocent. We are just observing how he is the only one that actually focuses on the meaning behind the book.
@@exaggeratedswagger7485 People are suspicious of a smear campaign because of the negative headlines that came out about him..
Blake strikes me as a 16 year old cheerleader with no empathy. That’s the vibe. Like “wow so sorry that happened to you but don’t bring the vibe down girl GAWDDD”
Omg my mom always says that stuff. If I call her crying and need someone to talk to she yells at ke and says don't come around if I am gonna bring her vibe down
It’s giving:
Simba: My uncle killed my dad and it was really scary.
Timon and Pumba: Idk man have you tried just not worrying about it?
same vibes as responding to someone’s suicidal thoughts with “omg sameee me too haha”
So true and spot on!!! I get the same vibe from her. She always looks the same and she makes stupid jokes on someone’s behalf and then adds….,just a joke! 🙄🙄
@@streeturchin915 I am so very sorry!
Honestly, the fact that Blake Lively is in interviews talking about this movie like it’s a RomCom and not a movie about ABUSE is insane to me. The whole team has a problem.
Which makes me ask a few questions: did the movie shoot give her enough/too much space to disconnect from the violence she was portraying (thank mercy she didn't try to method act the abuse and become an actual victim...)? Is her emphasis on the positives a symptom of toxic positivity, dissociating/masking the actual harm she felt on set, or bad advice from PR/marketing folks? What is her experience with DV and if she has experienced it, are these her normal tactics to mentally and socially protect herself from harm/shame/guilt/discomfort?
Its the exact problem I have with the book itself actually. It was pitched as a romance (edit - to be clear people told me it was a romance and I never got an indication otherwise, idk if Colleen herself made it clear it was about DV). I read it on an airplane with no other context, then got kicked in the face with super triggering DV out of nowhere. Great concept horrible execution
This is, in my opinion, the root of what makes the movie not only bad but harmful. Same to the book as well.
One interviewer asked, "this movie tackled sensitive topics, how can a real life survivor of domestic abuse approach you in real life to talk about these topics" and she started rambling about being a Virgo and her shampoo and her husband. I physically cringed. She sounds detached from reality. 💀😭
@@lilo3506 I read the book knowing it was about abuse and it honestly didn't affect the reading experience like colleen hoover thinks it will? Yes, the weight of the plot twist is taken away but it still conveys the same message at the end of the day. The fact that this book is dedicated to/based off her mother who was a victim of domestic abuse makes the fact that she doesn't want to include trigger warnings so insensitive and disrespectful.
"The question you should be asking is not 'Why Women Stay', it's 'Why Men Harm'." - Justin Baldoni.
I really enjoyed his Ted talk all those years ago about masculinity
Dobash & Dobash said this in the 1970s. Please give activists credit for their ideas
i'm surprised that more people aren't as bothered by the promotion of blake lively's alcohol line in relation to this movie as i am. there are numerous studies and anecdotal experiences from victims of domestic violence that show how alcoholism can increase violent behavior. it feels even more tone-deaf than her promoting her haircare line
Not only that, but a traumatic experience like DV can cause the survivor to develop alcoholism as a way to cope with ptsd
It is truly messed up! She literally took all the promotion to promote herself and her bank account instead of this important topic.
It's not alcohol. It's a mixer.
Oh! I didn’t know all this! That’s crazy
ALSO she named one of the drinks after the abuser in the movie which is just painfully tone deaf.
how blake is treating justin is crazy he's the only one who even acknowledges that the movie is supposed to be about DV
Probably why...
Blake redirects the meaning with “she’s more than a victim”. I appreciate the sentiment but this story quite literally focus on the points in her life she was. The whole “abuse builds character” is a tired perspective.
@@hensleysammons2998 redirecting the meaning doesn't and shouldn't imply blindsiding the audience into believing something the movie is not. It calls for utter insensitivity and tone-deafness rather than being a piece of awareness on the topic as sensitive as DV.
the fact that he is hot and the only sensible person
Him being honest about the themes of the movie isn't helping her sell shampoo. Lmao.
"I never saw her as just a victim, she's so much more than this thing that happened to her" BUT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT THE THING THAT HAPPENED TO HER THAT'S WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT
lmao
She needs an uplifting message to sell her shampoo. 🤷🏼♀️
Disagree. DV is ONE of the major topics of the movie. The others are romance, love, childhood trauma, depression, generational trauma and overcoming traumatic experiences.
Not to defend Blake but the movie also talks about how she learned from the past, walked away from her abuser, and got better for her daughter. It really is about more than just what happened to her.
Exactly - Blake Lively's take here is a genuinely good thing to remember when talking about abuse survivors (and arguably one of the reasons a lot of abuse survivors don't come forward with their stories - they're aware that from that point on, public perception of them is going to be as a victim first, person second, personal achievements a distant third) but this was just...not the time or the place, and definitely not the execution.
Not to mention, Blake changed a lot of the power difference between the couple.
Lily was originally much younger and more se*ually inexperienced.
And the designer clothes? Lily was ment to be a single, young woman, working in a flower shop - where does she get gucci from?
Yeah as a florist, girl is embezzling money or smth
@@isabellairon8420Lol that’d be an interesting plot twist.
She was trying to be Carrie
@@CDRClarisse Like the Steven King character?
Maybe she thought she's still on the set of gossip girl ✌🏻xoxo
I’d be so pissed if I worked hard to create a movie about DV and the actress and her husband completely took over and made it into something it’s not
They seem like an really annoying couple
@@hellohell7773 oh, they do, and they're not good people. I recently found out that they got married on a PLANTATION...
They wanted their Barbenheimer moment so bad. Very tone deaf of them to completely ignore the fact that the movie is about DV
@@misashanoo4322 it’s just really weird of them to basically high-jack the movie when a). it was probably never gonna be good to begin with because the source material is insane and b). Weird to have both of them basically dig themselves into the positions to change and have influence over the movie, thinking this is gonna be good for their careers
@@hellohell7773 Right and like they both are A list celebrities, they be doing too much and for what💀
It's the fact that the actor playing the ABUSER is talking more about the actual meaning of this movie and DV is crazy
yeah, considering how passionate he is about the cause, it's fitting that he's the one who plays the abuser because he understands the victims. It's vital that those who play these kinds of antagonists emphasise that it's not okay.
@@flibbitybibbit2616so so true
It’s the irony for me
i dont think its that crazy bec the actor isnt the abuser themselves like theyre still very much average ppl behind the actingrole
I feel like playing an abuser and attempting to understand them would only give someone more perspective on the issue, which is probably why he has such nuance in his insights
Justin seems so endlessly professional and talented and thoughtful. I hope this drama ends up being a blessing in disguise and ends up boosting his career.
Very naive thinking he is innocent. He hired the Depp PR ( which seems hella shady considering Depp came out of his whole fiasco with reputation intact ) to represent in this mess and clearly tried to garner sympathy like Depp and also all the costars supporting Blake in this situation tells a lot which you seem to ignore conveniently.
The entire cast being on Blake's side really makes me question the atmosphere on the set. I prefer his approach to the movie much more, but I'm sceptic about his behaviour behind the scenes.
@@karakanb3039apparently, despite the cast seemingly siding with Blake, the crew is sliding with Justin.
@@Ms.Nenette Good to know, thanks for the context
As someone who was in multiple abusive relationships, if I went to a movie in theaters that was advertised as a romance and instead it was a movie about DV, I would 100% break down in the theaters and have to leave. You just can’t bamboozle people with traumatic stuff man
Literally what happened when everyone was recommending the book to me! I was like wtf
The trailer makes it very obvious though. I don't think anyone is actually going to go see this film without knowing what it is about
@@eineperson3689 not everyone watches film trailers though, some like to go in completely blind
@@strangeaelurus If you know that you are sensitive to certain topics or images you have to make sure to protect yourself from them. I believe that is your responsibility and not someone elses. The question is just whether this is easy enough for you to do and I would say watching a trailer of a movie before you go and pay to watch that movie is very easy to do. But that's just my opinion, we don't have to agree on this
@@eineperson3689 literally just told you that people AVOID seeing trailers. Plus, the people avoiding the trailer would obviously think that this was a rom-com with how it's being advertised elsewhere! Did we watch the same video?
I feel like it’s soo clear Blake wanted her own Margot Robbie Barbie tour marketing moment, + her obsession w being deemed The Powercouple of the moment + a chance to sell her million products to wannabe gossip girls. That side of the ‘team’ clearly took over and totally ruined the project so I’m glad they’re getting called out and hope we get a directors cut.
Wow yes didn’t even think about that. Wanting everyone to wear florals and go out with their friends the same way everyone wore pink a year ago.
This is so on point
I'm finally seeing why she's friends with Taylor Swift lmao
@@madsyxxyesss birds of a feather flock together…
Yes this is how it felt to me too!
The way that the author named the main character lily bloom💀 peak creativity right there
wait until you find out that her middle name is blossom. i wanted to throw the book in the trash
It gives “Bella swan” vibes 😂 at least in twilight she ends up super strong and bad ass
@Witchy_Cheree1982 I mean, that's just a cutesy name, lily blossom bloom is just Flower Flower Flowering
& then she works in a flower shop lol 😂
…..and life dream is to open a Florist shop she uses her full name and calls ‘Lily Blooms’….ughhh.
The difference between the posters is INSANE. Its so obvious what their respective visions were and that they did NOT allign at all.
I feel like Blake signed on because she was told “girl who owns a flower shop falls in love with two hot men” and stopped listening there
yeah… the difference between the posters definitely explains the problem by its self
@@emmalu22 yep
Yup and that is why Colleen Hoover supports Blake’s vision because it was literally the carbon copy of how she advertised the book in the first place and still does.
She literally doesn’t see any harm in that.
@@IxiaRayneexactly
the fact that i had no idea the movie was about domestic abuse until watching this is CRAZYYYY
right! it always came across as a story about a toxic relationship, never explicitly domestic violence
@@alainer0611 i mean to be frank on my part, i'd barely heard of the plot, just that it was some shitty, infamous romance series but yeah so true!!
same I kept seeing ads on youtube and snap and thought it was a romance drama. People in the comments are saying it was obvious like am I slow???
@@yourleftknee3720 you are not slow!!! media manipulation goes crazy!!
@@yourleftknee3720 You're not slow! Even though there's already been people talking about how bad Colleen is before the movie trailer was released, you dont have to be so chronically online to understand the drama immediately
The whole PR thing on Blake's side just shows what the intention of the author ACTUALLY was which is romanticising toxic relationships as she does in literally ALL HER BOOKS, despite Justin's attempts to make it better and market it as it should've been from the begining, which was DV awarness.
the only one im really "trusting" is Justin cause hes the only one talking about it. while Colleen made a FCKING NAILPOLISH like girl you dont care about the women you care about the MONEY
and the coloring book-- you can't forget about the "It Ends With Us" coloring book
@@ohhmangos I was literally going to mention the terible coloring book idea
yeah same i know i don't know what really happened but the situation is kind of reminding me of topher grace and how he was the weird one out of the 70s cast he seems like the only one interested in making this movie with good intentions
Colleen has always been a problem 😞
I can’t believe that she failed to mention that Colleen Hoover is a terrible person it’s WELL known in the book community her son r@ped a girl and collleen whole hearted defended him.
Straight up asking your trainer "how much do you think she weighs" when you have a back injury and need to lift her is like, nothing behavior.
i think its fine considering the fact that justin had a back injury, he needs to be careful
For real- after seeing the interview where she was a total mean girl to the interviewer who congratulated her on her baby bump, I feel like she’s projecting her insecurities onto the situation.
Yeah it's being misrepresented online saying he fat shamed her
even someone who doesn’t weigh that much would be potentially hard to lift if you recently had a back injury. i really don’t see how a private conversation about his health with his trainer is fat shaming her
@@119793 literally, idk why blake is taking the victim card
23:56 I wish you would have read this entire screenshot. It reveals more that Blake and that whole group was upset that she couldn’t make the message more light and flowery than actually focusing on the D.V. message. He’s called “borderline abusive” because he won’t listen to what she wants to do with the movie? And seeing what she tries to with the movie making it look like a romcom? I would get fed up too.
This right here
the romccom marketing gets on my nerves
I didn’t even think about it possibly being about dv when I saw some of the trailers on tv, I just thought it was another terrible romcom but apparently it’s even worse than that😭 definitely one of the worst parts about the adaptation in general(other than it being adapted in the first place)
Pls it's soooo out of place. I feel like they missed the mark so much bcs its looks like a "feel good" movie, but its not? Not really? Almost like they wanted it to be a different movie.
@@Hibgiddtyand they thought including a sad taylor swift song would make it okay like ?? 😭
UGHH it’s infuriating.
the book and the film should be marketed as drama not romcom
I have a feeling the “workplace toxicity” Blake’s talking about was Justin trying to push the actual message of the movie & not settling for a rom com. I imagine Blake’s cut of the movie was much brighter & focused on the positive & sexy parts of the book whereas Justin’s would be more focused on the dark reality of DV. it’s totally speculation but this is just my theory with everything out there so far
Even having the BALLS to try to make a romcom out of this story is extremely disrespectful. That and having absolutely zero class in her interviews and no sympathy for victims is wild.
Plus, not to mention, no respect for Justin who is honestly extremely eloquent and well spoken.
What if “they” decided they have this opportunity to sell more tickets billing it as a rom com via Gossip girl and so they just decided to do that to make the largest profit and DV advocacy be damned. I think that may be most likely what happened.
It also sounds like Justin was trying to direct and Blake was trying to tell him what to do. She tried to have her fingers in everything else, it wouldn't surprise me if he put his foot down and she didn't necessarily like that someone told her 'no'.
@@mikaylasmith7600 yessss...Blake is used to control and i don't think she could handle being directed and just following rules.
It's wild to me in 2024, where mental health awareness is more openly discussed and using trigger and content warnings are considered a common courtesy, there is a movie about DV being promoted as a Rom Com. The hell?! In 2024??
Because acceptance and understanding isn't actually happening. It's not just trigger warnings it's censorship so yeah awareness might be happening but because you can't say r@pe or abu$e victims can't actually talk about their experience with real mature words either ... So it's all still wtfff man
@@ellecimz6618don’t let tiktok define you. You CAN say those words. The only reason people ever started censoring themselves was because of an imaginary TikTok algorithm that may or may not shadowban you if you say bad words. That’s it. Don’t care about MAYBE being shadow banned on TikTok? Stop censoring yourself. It’s very easy.
Because Hollywood will never change no matter what
The difference between the two versions of the main posters is down bad CRAZYY, in Blake's ver they might as well delete Justin's existence entirely lol
Because the main character is Lily, not her abusive ex. Duh.
@@rr-brown6445 when the move is about DV, the abuser is also a main character.
@@bunnyellabellright. And also pieces of work don’t just have to have one main character
@@bunnyellabell no, it’s literally a story from Lily’s point of view.
It is a story from Lily's point of view but considering it's a story which surrounds the cycle of abuse which happens in her relationship, Ryle's character is at least a major part of the narrativr and would be unfair to leave him out of the promotional material
My main takeaway is that they shouldn't even have made an adaptation out of any of Hoover's books. Lining the pockets of a woman who minimalizes abuse in her books, is a...choice.
Which probably explains why Colleen will be siding with someone who minimizes abuse like her
THANK YOU. Colleen Hoovers books make me physically sick
Definitely. The book has been an atrocious mess from the start, and the whole romance vs DV controversies has been a thing since before they even made this movie. It's not just Blake Lively problem, it's a Colleen Hoover rooted issue. I understand this is a best-selling novel and all, but I'm pretty sure there are better books with less problematic authors out there to adapt into movie.
IKR! when the news came out that this book was getting a movie ...left me literally like...ew wtf whyy?! Plus its not a surprise the movie being marketed as Rom-com since that's exactly how CoHo books are marketed.
and the fact she defended her son after being found guilty of graping ppl
Reynolds and Lively’s strongest tool is there combined PR machine. Both were B-list before they got married, together they are 10 times greater than the sum of their parts.
Better than any of their acting, their artistic pursuits, is the narrative around their love story. Their tweets, their snarky-but-loving photos, their cross promotion. They are Barbenheimer: The Couple.
I cannot imagine how hard their PR is working behind the scenes to discredit Justin without having it traced back to Lively. They are pulling every “LOOK OVER HERE” media distraction in the book.
This is the kind of holistic campaign that should be studied in university courses in the future.
I wonder if they have the other actors locked into contracts, which pulls them onto Blake’s “side” (my speculation only).
To be honest, contracts are not even needed. You have a power hungry couple with tons of influence and money, the kind that can stop a movie being made or an actor being cast as they're both producers. As an actor/actress with far less clout, or even as a technician, I'd be so scared of losing work opportunities that I'd close my mouth shut. That's how bullies roam free.
Mhmmmm!! That first paragraph is the breakdown I haven’t seen mentioned. These are not the cream of the crop talent but somehow they have brainwashed the masses with their cheap all American love story glossing over the age gap relationship off the heals of Reynolds’s divorce and the two meeting on a movie set immediately before that divorce. Even Ryan constantly being pushed as handsome nevermind sexy is a joke!! The insecure kid that had a minor glow up that uses humor to mask his mediocrity. He’s goody and cute on his best day. Can’t even give him cute bc you can see right through the wholesome act.
@@SolCareMimii know this is mean. But while they are attractive, i dont get the “extremely attractive” comparison they get. They just seem like your “maxed” middle class couple, which seems to be their target audience
i kinda don't even know if you'd need contracts; it's Blake Lively (beloved superstar, for all the reasons you mentioned) vs an actor from a CW show 5-10 years ago (a show i love that he did a good job in! but hardly a high station of clout). even with this drama coming to light, i wouldn't bet money that Jenny Slate's career would be fine if she sided against The Power Couple.
Trish will never not be mentioned in her chronically online girl videos and I love her for that.
YES as soon as the video started I was looking at the pictures like WHERE IS SHE oh there she is
@@ukelsele ANHAH BRO ME TOO
When I saw the title, I thought maybe this is the video that Trisha won't make an appearance, sadly. Was I proven WRONG so quickly
I think she wasnt meantioned in the brat video
@@Antgirl928 I watched it when it came out so I don’t really remember but I’m pretty sure she was mentioned somehow lol
It rubs me the wrong way how Blake not only tried to not talk about DV and honor the story but how she kept saying "Lily is so much more than that" when yes she is, but it just feels like she is minimizing the impact being abused has, it takes so much from a person, it breaks so much. Also you are right, instead of money for flowers they should have donated. Financial abuse is a huge reason why women stay too
Yes!!!!!!!
her main positive trait is the courage and strength to work through that and find her freedom back, not all the superficial bs she is wanting to talk about. I mean acomplishments are so meaningless when you realise what truely matters wich is just peace lol
@@Puuws lmao it takes years to even accept it wasnt your fault , when you scape no matter how obvious or bad the abuse is you still feel guilty or missed them, is not about "peace is more important te-hee moment", abuse will 100% kill important traits you used to have and maybe they will never comeback , you will lose some sense of self and change is not conscious to you , a good message should be acknowledging what occurred without minimizing or maximizing seeing an accurate description of what truly ocurred that is true healing , ignoring the true is just unhealthy
I haven’t read the book, or seen the movie bc I refuse to have anything to do with Colleen Hoover. But what I feel like could have been said is “these situations have had so much formative impact on Lily and who she is, but they are not the only things about her” idk something like that
@@brynnleighweaver1682 I feel like its honestly just an odd portion to focus on especially in a social climate where victim blaming isnt uncommon. I get that it isnt the only trait but noone is really saying that. And since the other side is absent (people saying being a victim of abuse is the only thing there is to someone) it feels like theyre pulling the it into “being a victim is a mindset choice” which is frustrating. “Shes so much more than a victim” feels like such a nothing statement because they dont want to speak on or dont understand the issue
ok using the tongs as a pointer and a clapper at the same time is inspired
😂
“Love portraying stories of women being more than their relationships, anyway have y’all seen my husbands movie?”
💀💀
Fr!
Omg 💀 and the fact that blake was against the age gap when her dear hubby was idk almost 40 when she was in her mid 20s when they got together 💀 girl the call is coming from inside the house
You can tell Blake has never feared for her life due to DV and it shows. Not wishing any harm on her at all, just stating she is lacking empathy towards those who are still struggling to this day with the repercussions of an unstable household. It's so easy to "see the bright side" of being a survivor when she doesn't have to deal with lifelong trauma. I am not thankful of how far I've come despite what I've lived through, I wish I wouldn't have gone through it at all.
💯
yeeeaa, all the "its not who she is", "its not her identiy" [re the character], but actually, in this story, in that moment, it *is* who and what that character is.... thems the shakes babycakes, that's the time period of the character's story that we are focused in on- the part of the story where she was a victim. Like................... reading comprehension fail, then everything else just dogpiles.
This comment was on point, sending lots of love your way
@@madalynnmccarron4590 literally thats what the fucking story is ABOUT 💀🤦♀️
i disagree. it makes me question her view on what a healthy relationship is. shes promoting this movie as romantic. thats concerning. shes making jokes and acting like its not that serious. when it in fact is that serious. trying to cross promote a marvel movie with a serious movie about dv is so inappropriate.
I bounced around 3 different DV shelters for 2 years with my toddler in 2019, until we were placed in a safe house for women. It was not fun, there were no flowers. We escaped. We are safe now and healing as time goes on. Blake seems ridiculous and her privilege really shows.
One thing, that wasn't mentioned here is, that in fact it does not "end with us". She shares custody with her abuser over their child. By doing that she continuesly gives him power over her life and puts her child at risk as well. To make things worse she names her daughter after the younger brother Ryle shot as a child. In my opinion this throws the whole message of the movie and the book out the window.
Colleen Hoover is a terrible person, who through all of her books romanticises abuse, which puts her incredible young reader at risk.
It's disappointing. Instead of cashing in on the virality of the book I wish someone had taken some time to make a movie about DV that gives survivors their due. Criticism about about Hoover is widespread and documented but these people only see the dollar signs. Hoover's books will hopefully be forgotten as a bizarre fad and maybe someone else can make an actual meaningful difference as the public consciousness is on DV.
Yeah I can’t believe no one talks about it - the way she let him back into her daughters life was very weird and felt like a bad lesson
I'm pretty sure Amanda the Jedi mentioned in her video that they changed this in the movie. Totally agree with you otherwise though.
@AwesomelyAna right like forgive and forget UNLESS this man violently attacks you then he should not have access to you or your kid ANYMORE, to willingly share custody with an abuser is crazy work
I can confirm as a child i was exposed to all the messed up stuff because i have no parents, and now as an adult it severely impacts my mental health, and my relationships with people especially men, like i feel this suicidal ideation on a daily basis, i pray that one day this type of stuff can finally stop being romanticized once and for all.
We want the Baldoni cut
Yes.
Also I LOVE LOVE LOVE the cover art for the movie he posted. Omg it is so good. I read the book two years ago and it just fits so perfectly bc it’s ominous but after you know the story it’s like “woah! wtf”
YESSSSSS❤
If his cut ever gets released, I will watch it. Until then, I’m not watching this movie 🤷🏻♀️ lol
@@12conord PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Release Justin's Cut.
i heard this is his cut and her cut flopped during audience testing 🫣
EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words. This experience was 10 years ago and I am in a very loving and happy relationship now. I hope you are all safe and well ❤️🙏
I related to Lily’s story so deeply. My partner was a prolific director in the city I lived in. Charismatic, attractive, romantic, funny. The first year of the relationship was amazing. Then he slapped me for having an opinion he didn’t like. A few months later he slapped me again. It only escalated from there. But not one thing happened in that first year. I was already in love with him, so it wasn’t as simple as just leaving. He knew that slapping wouldn’t leave a lasting mark, so that was his weapon of choice for a while until he once punched me so hard it knocked me out, but he did it on the back of my head so again - no visible mark.
Our relationship culminated with him destroying an entire room of our home - he ripped the headboard off of our bed, hit me over the back with it and then grabbed everything in the room and smashed it to pieces, ripped sockets out of the walls and pushed me up against a wall screaming at me asking why I was “pretending to be scared” of him. He literally couldn’t process how to be responsible for his own actions and would always find a way to convince me that things were my fault but not this time.
It was only when it got to that point that I found the strength to leave him. This is why it breaks my fucking heart that the book has now been tainted by this movie fiasco/drama. I had never once read a book that I related to like this one and now Blake and Colleen have shit all over the people the book meant the most to. Something I will never forgive either of them for.
I'm so so sorry you went through this. My heart is with you and thank you for sharing your very tough experience
i’m so so sorry ml 🩷 wishing you the best in the future, and that you are able to heal 🫶
i’m so sorry you had to go through something like this, i’m hoping you are safe and that you have loving people around you. i’m so sorry that an experience so similar to yours has been whittled down by blake and colleen to be a story about a woman ‘finding herself’ and that they’ve completely undermined stories like yours. you are valid. your feelings are valid and you deserve miles and miles better than what you experienced with your ex. praying that you’re doing better now. Jesus loves you ❤.
Thank you for sharing-glad you made your way out, and I’m happy this book helped.
A Colleen Hoover book meant THAT much to you? 🤐
Its funny to me how in that resurfaced interview where she was being rude to a journalist because she asked about their oitfits....while this entire movie has been about her shoes, and rings and florals, custom jeans and whatever
😬 the irony
And Blake and Ryan talk about their kids all the time in interviews. Why would she act as if it's sexist when someone congratulates her about being pregnant and asks about the costumes she wore in a period film in an interview about said film?🤔🫤
she does that with every single project and gets offended when asked about it? makes no sense.
Don't forget it was an interview for her being in a Woody Allen movie. So asking actresses about their wardrobe is a bigger feminism faux pas than working with a man who groomed his step daughter according to her.
The journalist congratulated her on her baby bump she responded "congratulations on your bump".. the journalist was not pregnant and she has had infertility issues..
The video was very awkward and you could feel how the journalist was being excluded for nothing.
15:10 OMG the other poster? I’m so anger that they didn’t go with that one. It’s a million times better than the “girl boss flower” one. It’s stark in your face and creepy vibes that feel like you are interrupting a tense intimate moment that’s very on edge. It’s also just designed better? It would at least make viewers AWARE what kind of movie this is.
the girl boss flower one also looks like it has an instagram filter on it from 2012 ... ew
agreed! the tagline is a trigger warning in itself, without foregoing summary OR trigger warning!! and the photo simply is telling enough. it shows that it was intimate.. but that the woman is uncomfortable or concerned. i cannot believe they got to go with the flowery one, when the biggest critique readers had w/ hoovers book was that she turned DV into a plot twist & made the cover look like it’d be a romance novel. baldoni’s cover alone could have prevented allll of this
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Release Justin's Cut
I honestly thought this was a romcom before I read the synopsis
I might be deeping it but I like the final poster, it has a darker side on the left like it's her dark past behind her, she's leaving it behind.
I also like that Blake says it's not only about the domestic abuse. I think there seem to be many dark themes, and in the end, she is a survivor, but she's also much more. As a child of DV, it's important to see more to a person than just their trauma.
ive been seeing this drama from the sidelines and i would NOT have guessed this was a movie about domestic violence from how they portrayed it
I think it’s insane how little Blake has talked about the actual plot of the movie. Grab your girlfriends and wear your Florals. Girl it’s not the Barbie movie. And I get it she’s trying to make light out of the situation. But the fact that this is such a serious topic and it hits home for so many. It almost feels like a slap in the face.
From how ive heard other victims respond to the situation, it does seem genuinely disrespectful :/
Why would she even agree to be in a movie about DV if she doesn't want to talk about DV, it's wild to me
She’s trying to make it about Lilly is more than a victim.
She is completely unrealistically unaware and deaf to the fact that - even when women leave these situations - it leaves a wound - a tender spot. No matter how strong a woman is / no matter how much time has passed - these are tough moments and tender moments in women’s lives. Not a let’s play dress up and sit on our couch and giggle and fluff our hair.
Even after women leave situations like this - they still wind up un alived. Their children too sometimes.
This book was about a very complex relationship. A complex situation many people have lived thru similarly.
People who have lived thru these scenarios - or are raising children of abusers……there is no denying the weight this carries.
These women aren’t worried about their hair and a cute dress moment. They aren’t grabbing their girlfriends and celebrating their independence.
They are heart broken 💔 - and sometimes still very scared
Update. I just watched the movie (I read the book 2 years ago) and oh my gosh as someone who has witnessed my own family deal with these themes. It just made me so upset and uncomfortable watching Blake play this role knowing it doesn’t really seem like she cares. And just promoting hair products. DEFINITELY NOT A GRAB YOUR GRILYS LETS HAVE FUN MOIVE…..Like wtf I felt sick after watching the movie. Definitely felt like a slap in the face.
Someone said its very clear Blake has never experienced DV since she lacks empathy/understanding of the trauma it brings. Its easy to see the bright side of DV when you have never experienced it and that is so clearly her. Very annoying tbh
i work at target and the amount of middle aged women buying the book this past week was insane
honestly that’s good to hear
gawd that's sad. 😢
@@truepenny2514 it is, but they could just be buying the book to read it! (And not the other thing hopefully 🙏)
I've been seeing a lot of Colleen Hoover books cycling through the thrift stores lately. I haven't heard anything good about the author and it seems people love her or hate her weird books. I had no idea that there was a movie until now and I'm not thrilled about that.
@@biteofdogI’m so glad I didn’t buy the book. I thought it was going to be much more profound and in depth than it was. It was honestly a shame after hearing about the topic
Getting not one, but two ryan reynolds mint mobile ads on this video is so crazy
🤣🤣🤣 I fxckin can’t stand any commercial with that dufus in it
notably colleen hoover has defended her son SAing a girl and also the fact that the doctor character PRESSURING the protagnist into sex isn't framed as horribly wrong is also weird
Why do you guys parrot the same misinformation? When the girl reached out to her regarding her son, she apologized and gave the girl her lawyer's info in case she wanted to press charges.
@@4knkr722 where did you see this
@@bunnyellabellTHE VOICES
@@4knkr722bro where did you hear this? 💀
@@bunnyellabelllook it up. It’s online. The whole story. Also it was not SA it was harassment. Not saying that’s okay but just pointing out that people have the tendency to exaggerate. Someone in the comments on this video said it was r@pe. When in reality the two had never met, it was all on Snapchat
Honestly, I’m so disappointed in Blake. I’ve been a long time fan of hers. But seeing her make fun and make light of a survivor coming up to her so try to talk about the film that she’s so supposedly proud of is really disgusting. I feel like Justin has been really respectful while Blake has just appeared to be very tactless and tone deaf.
what is the clip where she makes fun of a dv survivor? this just keeps getting worse
@@JaylinFlanigan An interviewer asked Blake what would be the best way for people who connect to her character/topics in the film to approach her to talk about it and Blake answered in jokes and talked about how she’s a Virgo
@@JaylinFlaniganit’s on here somewhere I watched it couple hrs ago. Another channel
@@Michellemariiyeah she was kinda cocky for sure & didn’t even answer the question. There’s the one where she ignores & makes low key fun of an interviewer on an old interview b4 all this I seen today too. Never thought she could be such a mean B but I saw what I saw.
@@JaylinFlanigan 20:10
Thank you for saying that you worry that people might think “it’s not that bad for me” so they stay. That is exactly what I did !! I gave the best years of my life to a man who thought of me as his property because “He wasn’t as bad” as the abusers I saw on tv or around me. It did escalate over the years but I always found a way to justify his behavior. I appreciate you saying this more than I can express! Thank you
Thanks for elaborating on that point. Relatable. ❤️
My husband (who previously survived an abusive relationship) wanted to take me as a cute date night--based on the trailers. When I told him what it was about, the odd trailers, and terrible press junket, his face just went pale and was like I am so glad I did not jump the gun for that.
Survivors of all DV (or child abuse) are going to be terribly shocked. The marketing is TERRIBLE.
he sounds so sweet like my boyfriend. yall are cute haha
Thank god you knew about it beforehand. I can’t imagine someone in the same situation as your husband finding this out the hard way. This marketing is absolutely irresponsible.
I am a child survivor of domestic violence and I wasn't shocked because I already knew the story but
It was still triggering. I still liked the movie though.
@@PiaPancakes There are multiple comments in here tha unfortunately found out "the hard way" and had a bad reaction. This is so unnecessary, why ruin people's whole week with a PTSD episode when they could've simply done an appropriate marketing campaign🙃
I roll my eyes every time someone does the whole "what happened to me doesn't define me," or, "I'm more than a victim." It's true, but it's also not true. It becomes true as you heal.
Tell me you've never been in a long term abusive relationship without telling me you've never been in a long term abusive relationship. Abuse can take away every other part of you. Abuse can strip you clean of any humanity you had. You are a victim and you don't have the energy, capacity, or memory of anything else.
Right, and it’s almost putting yourself above other victims who ARE struggling over what happened to them.
And it gives the implication that people can abuse each other and it’s okay because “we are not victims” … it almost gives the abuser a free pass because “it didn’t impact who the victim was”
I always took “I’m more than a victim” as the non-lethal version of “more than a statistic.” Like you’re not just an abuse victim, not just a dead body left on the side of the street. You’re a person. That’s what I think of when people say “abuse doesn’t define me.” Since that person isn’t just their abusers victim. It’s a statement about agency, healing, and the acknowledgment of one’s personhood beyond their victimization. It can definitely be used condescendingly, and it’s for sure more indicative of someone who has “healed.” That doesnt make it a sentiment that’s less valid though. Abuse does everything you listed and more. The whole “tell me you’ve never been in an abusive long term relationship without telling me” thing is pretty presumptuous. The idea that anyone that uses those strings of words has no idea what it’s really like to have lived through that experience is pretty iffy.
yes it’s like the girlboss hustle culture toxic positivity lens of domestic violence 🙄 like growing up in that environment actually shaped my brain for the rest of my life, even as i heal i will never actually erase that part of my life
It rubbed me the wrong way that she was talking so much about Lily being “more than a victim” because that’s not really what the movie is about? Like, it would make more sense to talk about It Starts With Us that way, but for most of the movie Lily IS being abused. The abuse is actively happening, Lily IS a victim, and her victimhood is a huge part of the story. It obviously isn’t the whole story, but Blake was just undermining or minimizing it.
i have no experience with dv and reading the book had me SOBBING. i find it insane how little empathy lively had in the message of the story
i was in UTTER NEED of a chronically online girl recap of this drama bc omg????? this all has been insane. why is blake lively SOLELY talking about fashion and albums in interviews of a film that is about abuse???? the marketing of this has all been horrible.
It feels so fake as if she is unable of empathy , i know there is no need to over analyze it yet reminds me christians saying " is god's wil" when something horrible ocurred like" a child was r@ped ? Things happened for a reason , god is testing them !😊 " lack of empathy and reading the room
SAME. I knew about the weird tone in advertising, but i really needed her to cover this weird behind the scenes ish. I didn't get really get why people were falling out of love with reynolds and blake before now, but seeing it in 4k like this makes me kind of sad....and very annoyed.
i genuinely thought this was actually a romcom before this video
She sounds like she is part of an MLM on this press tour
I went ALONE bc I just moved after leaving my abusive ex and don’t have friends here yet. Literally SOBBED in the theater and had to leave bc I just wasn’t prepared. Yes, that’s on me for not researching but i just went mid-day on a whim and had seen Blake promoting it as some happy cute chick flick. Sooo basically Blake and I have have beef now.
I feel like the movie and book were good. but the marketing and telling people it's a rom com WHEN IT IS DEFINITELY NOT is so messed up. Like things like this can be so harmful to peoples mental health. I am so sorry this happened to you.
Noooooo I’m so sorry that happened to you! Hope you had a good long phone call afterwards with someone you trust. Surprise triggers can be AWFUL
I’m so sorry that happened to you
Don’t accept blame for “not researching” it was adverted as one thing and delivered something else. If you open a lemonade and get tea it’s on the company so why isn’t this one solely on Blake? 😊
Thissss!!!
You can tell who either took the time to understand victims/is a victim and who doesn’t care to understand/has never been a victim and its so stark its scary.
my biggest problem is the campaign feels like that kid who writes in his notes with giant markers and glitter pens about a serious historical incident. yk?
🩷✨Slavery✨🩷
I know exactly what you mean
Hahahah no this is accurate , i had a classmate in 6 grade that would glitter and decorate her bad scores and annotations , same vibe
I do that. But they’re my own notes so it’s okay. But I agree w you 1000%.
Ah, yes. The ol' "🌸✨✨The Holocaust✨✨🌸"
I'm sorry blake coming out after the backlash against her claiming that justin baldoni fat shamed her (even though he made no specific rude remark) comes across as her trying to save face to me.
He was literally just trying to protect his back. If Blake can't come to terms with the fact that newly postpartum women weigh more than they usually do, that her problem to work through. He shouldn't sacrifice his health to coddle her feelings.
@@jocelynnelsonit’s not even about her being postpartum. Picking up any amount of weight can be damaging to people with back problems.
Which also backfired cause the publiy still sided with him.
And also backfired because an interview of her fatshaming a woman who can't get pregnant immediately followed. 😅
There was always something about Blake that felt "off" to me. But these are celebrities and I dont know them, so i usually just chalk it up to not getting a full picture of the person. Seeing how Blake has handled this movie's press, treated interviewers, and tried to make the one person taking the movie's messaging seriously out to be some creep feels like the pieces to the picture I was missing. It's disappointing to see her behave that way and be so flippant and rude about such a serious matter. Thank you for consolidating all of this info.
The fat-shaming comment by Blake is so weird, as a ballet dancer I can attest that lifting people is dangerous (especially for someone with back problems) and asking about it is proper conduct. He didn't say "you're too heavy for me to do it," he asked his trainer how much he needed to be able to lift safely. It honestly contributes more to fat-shaming culture to perpetuate this idea of being secretive about your weight because knowing it is "bad".
It seems like she's grasping at straws to try and make him look bad after her press choices have gotten her criticism, and trying to offset the rumours that their on-set conflict is due to the fact that Justin was much more serious about depicting DV properly than she was. But then again hiring the agency that defended notorious abuser Johnny Depp doesn't make Justin look good either, and there are plenty of cases of abusive men putting up successful "feminist"/liberal fronts so we'll have to see
Right like I would probably hurt myself even trying to lift a 6 year old tbh, just asking how to lift a full adult human safely is not offensive lol
Yeah like he's just trying to manage his back problems and she's out here victimizing herself. Some people with back issues struggle to carry their toddlers, of course the risks are increased carrying a 5'10 grown woman.
You've hit on all of my exact thoughts while watching this. Getting advice on proper technique and safety in order to lift another whole ass person is just common sense. From all the marketing, it seems like Baldoni is the only one taking it seriously and treating DV with the gravity it deserves. But once it got to him hiring that particular agency... it absolutely gave me pause. It's strange that a guy who's been such a visible advocate wouldn't be aware that the agency he's using was very publicly weaponized by an abuser against his victim. :/
She’s also like 6 feet tall so lifting her is going to be a bit more difficult than someone who’s shorter.
No, I had the exact same thought. Ballet dancers and ice skaters who lift partners literally train so they can do it safely. Blake is tall and he has back problems. This just sounds like insecurity issues.
Based exclusively on Blake’s outfits, I had assumed this movie was about ending all the bad stuff in the world like global warming and saving the flowers. Very glad I watched this first.
honestly that does make sense especially considering the name of the movie 😭
Hahaah i thought it was about euthanasia
😂😂😂😂
@@SieMiezekatze eutha- 😂 how???
Blakes media strategy makes perfect sense to me - because Ryan has made his fortune doing advertisements using his “persona” and selling name-branded products in concert with movie promotions. So if Blake wants to sell hair products or whatever she has to make a movie that fits her band, and I guess a movie about DV doesn’t sell product, but a movie about a quirky flower-shop owner does. All the big actors are doing this, but I think Blake made a mistake by accepting a role that doesn’t fit her band.
ok but Ryan breaking the writers strike baffles me. his persona is the epitome of "weird quirky kinda hot in the weird way, i was the last picked growing up, im so small, someone notice me, I use humour to make myself more comfortable" but the fact he took the spot of an underpaid writer for his own personal gain and Blake being too in love with herself to realise she just exposed him for it is just the icing on the cake. both have too much power for their own good😭 on another note... oh miss Taylor Swift why are these the friends you surround yourself with😭
Taylor is worse than them lol they match each other perfectly
@@americanpsyche1850 literally 💀💀 makes Perfect sense
As Aretha Franklin said when she was asked how she felt about Taylor Swift... "gowns, beautiful gowns". She'd previously gushed over other female artists before being asked about her. The legend spoke. Why are Blake and Ryan simpering about after HER?
girl if you think taylor is any better you need to open your eyes immediately. they’re just like each other, you’re asking why but you know why, you’re just in blissful ignorance because you’re a fan. you can still enjoy her music but come on, don’t be obtuse, it’s pure ignorance
@@bonbytheocean taylor dated a nasty racist, and your suprised that she has tone deaf friends.. be so serious
1. thank you for explaining this!
2. holy crap you are so beautiful
3. congratulations on 1 million subs!! you beyond deserve it with the amount of time and research you put into these.
Micarah my girl i haven’t seen you In agesss
omg micarah is a lil nasty!!
i love u micarah i hope u are doing well
Ariana what are you doing here?
THE crossover ever??? my queens???
Cat at 13:13. Everyone look at the cat.
amazing work.
I'm so glad RUclips started implementing timestamped comments popping up because I totally would've missed the cat if it weren't for this comment. Thank you 🐈
PRIORITIES ❤
I’m not sure if Blake Lively auditioned for or even was considered for Barbie or not, but she’s acting like this is her Barbie moment.
She could never be Margot and that probably kills her
Don't think she was ever considered tbh, none of the actresses that acted or did cameos in that movie seem to be in her circle of annoying white blond women. She would've turn to dust in front of American Ferrera lol
i bet she did 😂
@@DeadKraken😂❤
HELP THE WAY TRISHAS INVOLVED IN EVERYTHING 😭🙏
Fr. I wasn't expecting to see her, and yet, my naivety got ms again😂
Trisha: You say not everything is about me, but what if it is?
this, katy perry stuff, what else am I missing out on?
Thank you for covering this, especially the “well, at least I don’t have it THAT bad”. I’m so sorry you endured abuse.
so glad you’re talking about this… also all i can ever think about with colleen hoover is “ ‘wow…. they’re so big’ ‘haha i know’ ‘we both laugh at our sons big balls’ ” yeah.
Lmao same
help what
@@MikuH8sU Its a quote from one of her books, can't remember which though
@@chloecamille5390 ugly love i think
@@chloecamille5390Ugly Love that’s where the quote came from
Ryan Reynolds rewriting some scenes... I'd be sick if I was Justin 😭
I’d also be unhappy if I was a screenwriter for one of his films considering he most likely did it during a strike
It’s just so shady and weasely
Imagine having the husband of the coworkers you share creative powers with, come in and takes over for you. Incredibly unfair.
It’s like you can’t be a woman and write a movie *without* getting your holier-than-thou husband involved 🤦♀️
It's so random like.....imagine having this one trick pony actor, that can only play this one funny ahah role, come in and put his hands on a movie that talks about things completely out of his league....
Like, I would've understood to a certain degree if it was some famously very talented actor that puts his nose and money into the script\dialogue all the time, like Edward Norton or Adam Driver, but Ryan Reynolds? The Deadpool guy?😭😭😭
this is the first video i’ve ever seen of hers and i’m ENTHRALLED by the random serving tong in her hand 😭
😂
Pin the comment bc yes!! 😆 I love when she randomly pinches it!!
I blame the marketing of this movie on the writing of the book. Colleen Hoover is not a good enough writer to talk about serious issues like domestic violence
exactly. the book quite literally romanticizes dv and people are eating it up.
There's a weird theme in hyped books... Twilight, the weird bdsm books with that Grey guy, it ends with us. All involve a really toxic relationship as romantic. Wtf is up with people???!
@@phoebeel the bdsm books are written as erotica. Erotica is different from normal fiction, in the way that it is set in the universe of the bdsm "scene". That's why they seem weirdly abusive, there's no need for safe words because the book is directly taking place in fantasy. Unfortunately people often confuse erotica with romance (romance with smut will have safe words and obvious boundaries, because it is not in the fantasy scene), which leads to the monstrosity genre now known as Dark Romance. It Ends With Us isn't dark romance though, rather CoHo is just a bad writer who can't decide on a genre for her books
@@phoebeelmost people probably think that healthy relationships where the couple is loving and respectful to each other are boring, hence there are almost always toxic relationships and male protagonists in popular books like the ones u mentioned. it's horrifying, imo.
@@studygram_can confirm. Me and my husband are the most long term settled down couple of our immediate friends and family under 70 years of age and we always get the same comments “I want what you two have” and “is that not really boring”.
I’ve noticed that they all seem to think that drama and fighting = romance. And it really doesn’t. In my mind it’s the opposite. But they all get bored or don’t have interest in quiet functional relationships.
I agree, this definitely isn’t over. As of right now, I can say I agree with how Justin has promoted the film and I’ve seen a side of Blake I never knew existed before.
I've always wondered why she and Taylor Swift are so close to seeming nearly sisterly when Blake always seemed very down to earth and considerate and Taylor seems like a product of her environment from being a star since her teenaged years. I wondered if maybe that's what balanced them out but I still wondered what they have in common. Now I know what they have in common.
I remember she had issues with Leighton Meester during gossip girl…
@@katieanne7992us elder millennials remember the Gossip Girl bts drama
Sis she did her wedding at a plantation. How is she not typical tone deaf yt woman?
@@katieanne7992 everyone claims leighton is jealous of Blake is the worst part :(
Ryan rewriting a scene from Blake’s movie and blake allowing that is WILD. Imagine your partner visiting you at work and changing your workplace
when the drama was confusing and detailed and the internet needed her most…she appeared
i literally had to get my friend to explain this to me yesterday coz i was so lost lol
This is hilarious lolol
Oooof. Him saying Blake is ready to direct it starts with us is definitely him saying she did not share his vision.
100%
That’s exactly what I thought
I feel like that's the best thing to do. If it was made clear to me that the source material (Colleen "son's big balls" Hoover) and most of the cast wanted to butcher a serious topic I cared about in a movie, I'll just leave the project
It gives more of a "I'm not working with her ever again in my entire life" vibe
“fat shamed me” is REACHING 😭
People overuse the narcissist label but if the floral dress fits
went to the movie with a friend thinking it was a rom com, it was so very triggering and i wish there was a warning before the showing!! changed the trajectory of our week :( best wishes to all other survivors
yeah the press for this movie was insanely ignorant, I'm so sorry girlie hope you're okay
@@sarahd6776you are so so kind, thank you for the well wishes :))
I’m so sorry and truly hope you’re taking care of yourself and doing better.
you are all so kind thank you for your well wishes :))
I am so sorry that happened to you
As the daughter of a mother who fled a domestic violent situation, Blake saying women are much more than that is BS. It’s the same as telling someone “ohh you’re not over that? Or get over it”. That’s why trauma is so horrific it actually does define and change how you view yourself. That’s why DV can be so debilitating, but Blake clearly doesn’t bother to understand the gravity of what she’s performing 😒
Yeah it always bugged me how you see people saying stuff like that as if it’s that easy to just go about your life afterwards and that the trauma you faced shouldn’t matter to you. That you need to just ignore it and move on and be happy! You’re so much more than that! Having trauma isn’t something that we can just girlboss our way out of and decide “I’m done with this, my life belongs to me! That stuff is in the past!” To just move on. Trauma and abuse SHOULDN’T define anyone, but the struggle and turmoil it leaves with you isn’t something we can just collectively abandon and solely focus on the “okay girlie it’s time to be free!” because like… it doesn’t work like that. Like I understand that people who say that are trying to come from a good place but it just feels like a massive oversimplification of an issue by people who don’t fully understand it. Like at least to me stuff like that never fully connected with me and how I experienced trauma, those statements always felt really hollow.
@@wispisanghonestly I think people say stuff like this because dv and abuse survivors being honest about their experiences and their pain makes them uncomfortable, so it is very much a form of dismissal. We live in a society that justifies and even enables abuse, by romanticising abusive behaviours in relationships while simultaneously blaming victims for falling for it. Like 'oh its so romantic when men are aggressively jealous or your girlfriend is obsessively controlling but how didn't you notice you were being abused, you dumb idiot???'
Many people don't want to get to the meat of the topic or really acknowledge the reality of it because it would force them to reflect upon the pretty horrifi truth, and the ways in which they may have taken part in this enabling or romanticising - or, the ways they have been abused themselves but don't want to admit because they think victim = worthless. When 'victim' as a word is more derided and mocked than 'abuser', you know something is deeply wrong. But most people don't want to think about what is deeply wrong. They just want to go back to burying it under the rug and you openly talking about the effects abuse have had on you without immediately spinning it to be 'positive' doesn't allow them to do that.
That and this weird form of toxic positivity/girl bossery that seems to think that acknowledging the negative, painful parts of life is inherently a bad thing. Like spiritual bypassing isn't a new thing but it seems to have taken a new form lol. Before it was 'This is God's plan' and 'God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers' and now it's 'Let the past go! You create your reality! You get back what you put into the world so if you've been abused your just a really low vibration person and you need to work on that girl!' Almost like it's too painful to acknowledge that while agency is a thing yes some things are outside of your control and bad things happen all the time completely unprompted. So people act like actually everything IS within your control and if you girlboss hard enough nothing bad will ever happen to you again and it's like the bad thing never even happened at all.
I’m a firm believer that both the book and the movie need a trigger warning. It was shocking going into the book thinking it’s a cute romance especially because people were recommending it on booktok.
Love that you added that Blake and Ryan are SCABS! I’ve heard rumors that the original script was very different and that it wasn’t just the rooftop scene.
Unless more examples of Justin being chauvinistic and abusive come out, I’m calling bs. The two instances leaked are so unserious. A singular kiss that went on too long? How long is too long? Did Blake step in choreograph the scene or was the hired intimacy coordinator allowed to do their job?And the “fat shaming” was probably the sensitivity of a postpartum woman misconstruing the man’s caution over a small stunt. An initial insecure/offended reaction is understandable but to weaponize it publicly is uncalled for. His weight question wasn’t even directed towards her lol not to mention she fat shamed an interviewer to her face on camera a few years ago. Come on sis
I agree. Another thing that's very weird to me is how Ryan got involved in the movie just because he wanted to. The cast siding with Blake maybe it's a case of opting to be on Blake AND Ryan team and the opportunities that they can bring.
Ryan interviewed this guy for the press junket. If he really treated his wife so horrible why would he even do that? I call b.s. in the cast and their claims. Especially since people he worked with in the past never said anything about him like that.
Let's not do that to post-partum women
@@turquesa_8056I'm so sick of Ryan he's obnoxious, not funny, and not a good actor. The only thing he can do is play sarcastic rude characters.
I felt odd when I saw Rayn getting involved in this movie's promotion so much. It's so weird how the couple just hijacked the whole movie and sidelined the actual issue that the movie is trying to address.
Even after dozens of footage showing Blake being a bully, the thing that's going to bring her down is her pursuit of trying to make Justin Baldoni look like a predator. "This one kiss. . .he lingered too long and made me feel uncomfortable." What girl?! What actor is going to want to work with her? He'll be taking a chance on being accused of se*ual harassment, or se*ual assault. What actor can be hirable after "Deadpool's" BULLY wife labels you as a predator? She intentionally slandered Justin. What she didn't count on was Justin taking the high road. He's coming out looking like a professional dedicated to getting the word out about DV, whereas Deadpool's BULLY wife is all about fashion and fragrance and false allegations about her co-star.
i have been a fan of her for a hot minute but i fear the “how should people approach you” question was literally built for her to have the opportunity to draw a boundary for herself, perhaps tag a resource with professionals, so that response is Fucking Crazy
Exactly. It was badly worded but he was really saying, "You play a survivor and audiences will look to you as someone who will be able to have a conversation about this. How should they go about that desire to be a part of the conversation with you?"
I saw a comment that said Blake lively seems like a girl who’s had everything work out for her in terms of marriage, success, family, fame, etc. Now obviously, this is a blanket statement and it’s unfair to assume a celebrity doesn’t experience hardship BUT I would say that Blake lively hasn’t approached the topic of DV as sensitively and appropriately as someone with even the slightest bit of real world experience and struggle. I get that a DV survivor isn’t just defined by their abuse but that seems to be Blake’s only takeaway from the movie and therefore trivializing it in a way. It doesn’t define you but it definitely affects and shapes you and should be taken more seriously.
Real life Serena Van Der Woodsen
We need a chronically online girl explains Katy Perry (and her downfall) lore!!!
I understand if this book has helped survivors but as survivors we deserve better. This book is not only written terribly but it’s unrealistic and an abusive man will not magically change once you have a baby especially if this man has custody of said child. Not to mention women in abusive relationships are more likely to be abused / k^lled when pregnant so a pregnancy would very rarely if ever inspire an abuser to change his ways. Also atlas is no better he is not an example of a good healthy partner
Its just honestly so sad that "the dumbest people are the loudest" carries over to representation in media. Like people always get the worst representation but it will always be the most popular one 😭😭 then the good rep always goes under the radar....
I’m reading a book called “why does he do that” and yes you are right an abuser gets worse after a child not better.. i
@@ginihall1234I'm genuinely of the opinion that everyone should read that book. I think it should be required reading in high school, because it's just that important.
"It Ends With Us" is perpetuating the myth that abusers are abusive because they are angry and/or traumatized and/or have mental health issues, when the actual driver of abuse is control. Abusers may also have those other things, but real abuse isn't driven by anger or trauma or mental health issues, it's driven by the need to control your partner, full stop.
Ryan's also a member of the WGA so if he was rewriting parts of the script when his union was on strike and then Blake shares that with the media as a cutesy little story about how #couplegoals they are ... that's literally admitting to him being a scab.
leaving a comment during the ad read because hell yeah OCD gang rise up! so cool to hear more youtubers talking about their experience ❤️❤️❤️ and nocd is such a great resource
The fact that Colleen openly says she writes to entertain and not inform or educate while constantly writing abuse is. interesting. Like she absolutely didn’t write the book to help survivors, that’s why she’s so okay with it being portraying as a romcom
She doesn’t care about victims: look how she defends her confirmed r*pist son and drags his victim
I heard in another RUclips video that Colleen's Dad was abusive to her Mom, but she also had a lot of good memories of her Dad. I think her upbringing messed her up in ways she hasn't ever processed and that's why many of her love interests having abusive tendencies.
@@annamelvina216 yeah she definitely has a lot of things to sort out with regards to her own trauma. Like she seems to think that only physical violence is abuse, but that even physical abuse can be excused if the abuser has a sad backstory or their victim is a ‘bitch’, which are both straight from the abuser handbook
Most of her romantic leads are practically indistinguishable from her overtly abusive character (who is literally based on her dad), and the women in their lives are vilified if they don’t forgive and excuse them, so it’s not exactly a surprise how many of her fans ended up thinking Lily was evil for not taking Ryle back. The main character of one of her other books, Maybe Not, is even worse than Ryle, constantly demeaning his love interest before physically and sexually abusing her, but they end up happily married and in love, and she’s portrayed as unreasonable for slapping him when he SAs her for the first time. She’s essentially conditioned her audience to believe that Hoover men can commit as much violence as they want, while the women have to be sassy yet demure, passive, and codependent otherwise they’re bitches who deserved to be abused
She really needs a lot of therapy to unpack her internalised abuse apologia and misogyny, but if her books are anything to go by I don’t think she believes in therapy
This is the same woman who defended her son when he SA'D someone and called said victim a liar. @@annamelvina216
It’s crazy that for a movie about M to F abuse you have a famous female essentially abusing a man. Blake used her “fame” and husband to hijack the movie, change the theme and have Ryan rewrite shit for a movie he has NOTHING TO DO WITH. Her trying to direct instead of Justin is wild and then her taking his back concerns as a body shaming jab at her. For all of this to be done by her and then she turns around and says he was abusive is maddening…and also the shit my abusive ex bf did. To find some tiny shit to inflate and make me as bad of a villain as he was used to drive me insane, and I see so much of it here. Like, no honey, he wasn’t being abusive…he’s playing an abusive character…..ya know, bc it’s a movie about abuse! I can’t eyeroll harder if I wanted too
To me it reads more like Ryan having to watch her like a hawk. “It’s your friends and colleagues that are abusive, not me babe” A man of this-kind-of-ambition really rewires your brain 👀
What makes the rewriting the script worse is that it was filmed during the writers strike and the only way they could proceed was because the script was locked in and absolutely no changes could be made. It's a huge f u to all the writers that were on strike
I get your point but since when did it become socially acceptable to refer to women as females outside medical contexts? It’s like incel language has become mainstream or something
I agree but you using female to describe Blake but man to describe Justin destroys your entire point. Cause you are also dehumanizing her through it, which seems incredibly tone-deaf and minimizes the issue of women doing wrong. Because "female" is either used as an adjective or a term used for animals that we humans see as less intelligent than us.
THIS! and then the fact that after she can go "he made me uncomfortable ☹️" because he was directing?? (thats what im getting here) and have media side with her and basically the entire cast/crew feels so gross
Ryan Reynolds turning out to be a garbage scab was not on my bingo card this year.
idk blake lively rly rubs me the wrong way. the fact she had her wedding on a literal slave plantation and the theme was like old southern belle but she “didn’t know”…. like mhm okay girl whatever u say.
She give racist, privileged white woman.
Excuse me?? 😮
Yeah and the fact that only Ryan responded to the criticism and donated a shit ton of money to organizations when Blake was silent about it…also her clothing line that was antebellum themed like girl what
At a certain point in life ignorance becomes a choice. She knows it's wrong and messed up and she's choosing not to acknowledge or investigate. She's insulated enough by her wealth and whiteness that shs can make the choice to ignore history and context that is inconvenient to her
ugh
It's also notable that Colleen Hoover made a nail polish line inspired by It Ends with Us and also tried to make an adult colouring book, but that got canned after backlash... So if it was primarily about creative differences in Blake's "fluffier" RomCom/Girl Power-style vision (which seems to align with Hoover's) vs Justin taking the subject matter very seriously... this makes a lot of sense... We also have 2 different edits/editors for the Blake vs Justin version, different styles of talking about the film, different levels of involvement...
Blake advertising her hair care line, her drinks, her husband's projects, the fact that she had her hands in everything from direction, intimacy coordination, clothes, music... the edit... And her wearing clothes from her closet should not be a flex-- it makes her character less relatable to be wearing these high-end fashion pieces.
I have to admit I liked this book back when it came out. I was 18, my mom's a victim of DV (and by extension, me), and I felt Lily's pov was so powerful. Not the plot, and definitely not the cutesy romance on the side. It just felt terrifying seeing her fall in love with someone who could kill her. I haven't read it again because I feel like it was such a pivotal point in my understanding of what was happening in my house when I was a child, and I don't want to spoil it. Then the tiktok girlies got ahold of it and the banalization that comes with a piece becoming mainstream rubbed me the wrong way. I've had years of therapy and I know the trauma won't ever fully leave me, doesn't matter how much I work on it. I'm not just a victim, but being a victim is a part of me, and it should be taken seriously, and much definitely should not be used as a ploy to upload a tiktok of yourself, crying, for the views. Getting a relationship after living through abuse, no matter how healthy it is, is not a romcom. Seeing all of this play down just makes me roll my eyes at how vapid social media and the capitalization of absolutely everything can be
The fact that there's a "fashion breakdown" video on a famous fashion magazine's youtube channel about this movie.... I just... No words at all just absolutely baffling
It's giving "here's my purple makeup tutorial to promote 'The Color Purple'" marketing.
@@ArturGlass.Coof bingo
@@ArturGlass.CDid someone do that? Or is it just an example?
@@lozer93gurl Someone actually did that. Can't remember the makeup influencer but she's not black as and she didn't even know the story filmed.
its still a movie at the end of the day that has stylistic choices that can be analyzed. its like analyzing the literary devices used in a novel, its not disrespectful
The movie is advertised as a Rom-Com because despite the fact that I think CoHo genuinely wanted the book to be seen as a story of DV, the book itself is advertised and dominantly perceived as a ROMANCE😭 a dark romance.
Edit: Just in case there's any confusion, I'm not saying that I personally think that this book or movie is romantic. I am saying that it is largely perceived as a romance book because Colleen (and Blake) inappropriately discussed, or attempted to discuss, DV. She clearly did so poorly because so many people THINK this book is a romance. It's marketed as romance. So I do not blame people who are confused about whether or not it's a story of DV or a poorly, poorly done romance. Both Colleen and Blake should be ashamed of how both book and film are being marketed. Justin is the only one with sense.
honestly I feel like she sprinkled in the DV as an "obstacle" in a love story. Before I even purchased the book, I was under the thorough impression that it was solely a romance and nothing more because every single video promoting it completely ignored the DV aspect. She also tried to sell a colouring book based off the book, so I genuinely think she does not think of the DV as a "big deal" despite insisting that she wrote it for her mom, a victim of DV. maybe I'm just too cynical, but I feel like she just added that because she needed an excuse that the DV was a relevant addition to the book and to hide the fact that she's romanticizing/capitalizing on it.
@@orphanbobby7130as someone who used romance books as an escape during the panini, that is unfortunately a common thing in romance. Abuse and wildly problematic stuff being used as plot movement. I describe those as books where female main character is punished. I do like how much the industry is moving this type of behaviour from normalized to dark romance. I would also checkout contrapoints romance video on why it is so popular though. I do think adapting it into a movie was a mistake. What is okay on books is not always okay in live action.
yeah I keep seeing people complaina bout blake specifically but really the book itself does not take DV seriously
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT “ROMANCE” ITS STRAIGHT UP PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR! Please for the love of God stop trying to associate that woman’s books with actual romance novels. It’s enough that it’s gotten polluted as is thanks to the “teen dystopia” craze back then. Please let books ft. abusive relationships DIE FAAAAR AWAY from the romance category…. Please.
Coho herself doesn’t take the book seriously. She wanted to release a COLORING BOOK for it but got shit on so much that it got cancelled.
i think growing up is just realizing that for the most part rich people are just detached from the world. even if they’re funny and sweet they’re detached and money hungry and i think it really shows here.
This. I have just basically stopped trusting or being emotionally invested in most if not all celebrities. Most of what we see of them isn't even authentic self expression, it's just PR. And more often than not the difference between a likeable celebrity and an unlikeable one is how good their PR team is. Celebrities are people, but only really to those directly around them. To us, they're heavily curated and aggressively managed 'brands' to maintain our interest and their lifestyle. We put them on a pedestal and treat them like they're super human, and often expect things from them we don't from ourselves (like moral perfection, or even sometimes just any form of morality lol). But most of them are pretty mediocre outside of their careers or skills (and sometimes even inside of them - neither Blake or Ryan are AMAZING actors). The only difference is that they're rich, socially unaware, and conventionally attractive. Nothing they do publicly is really off the cuff or authentic anyway. It can't be. So it gets kind of exhausting to get invested and feel like I actually 'know' them only to have them inevitably say or do something stupid or tone deaf that shows how out of touch they are with common human experiences.
That said I do appreciate the work many of them do if they're genuinely talented or seem to be doing good things with their influence (like Justin and his healthy masculinity thing). I've just stopped treating them like people I have access to an can really ever know, even a little.
So as someone who 1) is a fat woman and 2) has a job that involves alot of heavy lifting - taking the story at face value, that Justin asked how much Blake weighed and how he can do the lift while protecting his bad back, I don't see that as fat shaming tbh. Being able to lift a whole person can be hard, and Justin is not a young guy, he's 40, I'm inclined to believe he could have back problems. And it's not as if it's a lift done once for a minute or whatever - filming a scene means doing it again and again and again to get it right and get as many different angles as possible. So yeah, wanting to make sure that you're doing this lift in a way that will not hurt you too much doesn't strike me as fat shaming. I can understand she may have been sensitive about her body post-pregnancy, but it isn't fair to put those insecurities back on Justin and twist his words and motivations.
I agree with your comment. My question is... 😊 Why is someone who is concerned for their physical health being labeled as a "fat shamer?"
Actually, shame on her for playing the blame game. It's so preschool!
@@Cheezpopcorn agreed! Like I said in my comment, I lift heavy objects at my job all the time and it is so so so easy to lift something wrong and hurt yourself so badly. My boss is really strict on people pairing up on heavier objects as she has badly injured her own back. So I really think he was being pretty reasonable, even if he doesn't have a bad back.
Yeah, if she has a problem weighing more than usual being postpartum, that's her own issue to work through. Justin shouldn't sacrifice his health for her feelings.
YES! I'm 31 and had 2 scoliosis surgeries in my teens (14 and 18) and had back pains for years. It is not rude to ask weight lifting questions when your back is the thing you're worried about. Even jobs ask if you lift 150-160 lbs.
I totally agree, especially because he spoke privately to his trainer about it instead of flat out asking her. It just seemed like a responsible question of optics.
it just seems like blake doesn’t want to acknowledge that the movie is about dv which is so bizarre to me. she won’t utter more than a few words about it. i do think it’s important to highlight that dv survivors aren’t defined by what happened to them, of course. but that doesn’t mean acting like nothing ever happened.
i also hate the narrative of “it doesn’t define me” because for SO many it does! it changed everything about you even down to how your brain functions, it’s okay for it to define you!
@@lightworthy Great post!!
@@hdog24did you miss the part where they said “for so many” and not “for every single one of them”
@@hdog24 first off, i resent the use of only the word women when speaking about victims of abuse. men are still far too often abused and they are just as valid in their trauma & how they fall in this conversation.
secondly, this is about all types of abuse, not just SA (especially considering this movie is about DV as a whole, which is emotional and physical in more ways than just SA alone), and again all are valid in their trauma and how they fall in this conversation.
thirdly, where did i decide ANYTHING in my comment? the narrative of “it doesn’t define me” is incredibly often to end up shaming people who have “”bad”” things that define who they are as a person. it makes it so survivors have to be the “perfect victim”, or they’re shamed for “choosing to be a victim their whole lives” “letting it define you” “letting them win” which is clear language to say it’s a choice & you’re giving up the good fight rather than realizing it’s fully okay to have a huge thing that happened to you define you, especially when it literally rewires how your brain works. your own comment fell into that same trap of shaming those of whom it DOES define.
the ACTUAL point of my comment was that this is unhealthy to basically create two “classes” of victims, the “perfect victim” the idea of which is one who doesn’t have trauma symptoms, is stronger now because of it, does charity work in a topic that surrounds their abuse,“moves on” in a way that is palatable to everyone else, etc, vs the “bad victim” who has trauma symptoms, still hates their abuser, is heavily impacted by the trauma, identifies with surviving & having been a victim, even just acknowledging that it does define them personally on its own can make you labeled in the “bad victim” category.
things that are deemed as shameful or bad are the only things that aren’t allowed to define you, it happens with disability too. it’s ridiculous, bad things that happen DO define us just as much as good things, if not more. people are multifaceted & ever changing. what defines you in a year may be entirely different than today because of your new experiences, and that’s NORMAL
@@lightworthy i wrote my comment when i was in a bad mood, ive been SA’d and i was projecting my issues onto you. I’m sorry, and all the points you made were super well articulated. i gotta think more before i post
It's crazy to think that if Trisha was the lead in this movie, everything would have turned out so differently for this film and it's promotion.
What I feel like happened is that Justin couldn't fight for his cut, because blake and ryan are both very popular with a lot of people and because of that if they wanted to push through their own vision even when they originally weren't planning on directing. They could easily steal Justins part because they are more popular and probably found ways to push trough with their vision.
It'll end up backfiring on them. With social media and people posting everything, there are way more receipts and people putting together the pieces of what happened and who's in it for selfish reasons. As long as Justin stays classy, this will help his career and hurt theirs.
Justin is a very nice guy and this was his project to have more awareness about DV. He is just too nice and kind. These two picked the wrong guy to bully. I am a DV victim myself but I have followed Justin’s here and there. I have never seen or heard anything negative about him. It has always been positive. I don’t and never have liked Blake to begin with. As for Ryan even I had heard what he did to his ex-wife I still watched his movies but after this, I am not ever going to watch any movies he produces or has a stand alone movie. I am done with this jerk.
I don't think they realize how much damage this could do to a DV Survivor who isn't prepared for the plot.
It's called turning off the TV or getting up from the movie, that's not a real concern
@@mara0633 it is, I once watched an episode of Daredevil that had explicit abuse and it caused an anxiety attack and I could only pause it once I could control my body and thoughts again. Trigger warnings are so damn important.
@@mara0633 What a lovely and empathetic person you are!
@@mara0633 If trigger warnings help people, how are they an issue? Whether it's the movie creators responsibility to offer warnings, sure, people can have different opinions about that. But why NOT? Pretty easy to add on a line of text if you ask me.
Damn I remember when people used to be responsible for their own feelings and behavior. Also you can google beforehand to see if you can handle the material. This whole “the world owes you hand-holding and blankets for your triggers” is so annoying
The way Justin says that Blake is ready to direct the next movie should tell us everything we need to know. Besides, he looks rather sad in that same video, like he wanted this movie to be much more for and a great portrait of DV and now it's just marketed as romcom bs
Honestly, I’ve been a fan of Justin Baldoni and his podcast for so long. When I heard he picked up this movie I was surprised because how controversial CoHo has been in the past, but I was like “if anyone is going to direct it and it HAS to be a man, then it might as well be him”.
So considering he has dedicated his life to healthy masculinity and being an ally to women, I’m trusting him (as weird as it feels to side with a man in a story like this)
right, when i first saw he wasnt included in a vanity fair project with the rest of the cast, i thought “huh, there MIGHt be something going on, but then again hes also director so hes prob just busy, but still maybe theres something going on…” and then i hear alll of this and im like… idk guys i wouldnt wanna be on a press tour with these people either 😭
omg right! I've been a fan of Baldoni since Jane the Virgin, and was honestly shocked to see him working on a Colleen Hoover movie. However when I learned his goal was not to glamourise it but paint the truthful picture it made a lot more sense. He's been very open about sexism/toxic masculinity, I mean the dude even had a ted talk on it.
I feel exactly the same!!!