I watched IT ENDS WITH US so you don't have to | Explained
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- Опубликовано: 28 янв 2025
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The drama around IT ENDS WITH US has been absurd and that taking away from the absurdity of the content itself
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It Ends with Us explained
Blake Lively
Justin Baldoni
Jenny Slate
colleen hoover
it ends with us movie drama
justin baldoni blake lively
colleen hoover explained
I swear every 2 minutes there's a new 'source' with conflicting info coming forward so who knows where this will all be when the dust settles...
*EDIT:* I just want to clarify something I may not have made clear in the video - Ryle not being 100% a monster the entire time of the movie and them having romantic build up isn't the issue, very few people are abusive out the gate, it's the MARKETING I have a bigger issue with. I will say the movie downplays the emotional abuse a bit too much for my liking in the movie, but just because so many people don't consider that to be as serious as it can be and I think it's important to highlight that.
50 million on opening weekend, I will genuinely be surprised if a sequel isn't released by 2027
Fifty Shades was worse and actually made it into some funfair saga. These books into films are kinda like the tropes variations of those in a post way. But miner related kind. Except biting her tattoo flesh off her. He might as well just eaten her. And said "I love you, dinner...."
@amandathejedi thank you so much for answering me, but I can’t comment back because I already deleted the comment you somehow replied to when I got to the point in your video that covers it. I jumped the gun xD love you
I really wish someone would do a little sleauthing too on CoHo. I just have this feeling that she's lying a lot about her origin story. And the stuff he's telling the public about her motivation to write these books
@@billyLego4855 50 shades is NOT worse than CoHo. At most they're equivalent. And both written by really messed up women. But to me CoHo is worse. She REALLY digs in on the abuse stuff and STILL excuses it. Also they borrow from 50 shades a LOT. Like they keep ripping eachother off with these books. The 50 shades series was subtle. The CoHo books are very in your face about the glamorization of the abuse stuff. But both authors are just writting for those fked up people in the world who just like to think that maybe the women were just ''asking for it". Neither series belongs in the romance section, IMO they should be removed from it bc they're reverse-marketing to create outrage clicks.
Colleen Hoover writes for women who never discovered Wattpad when they were 13 and it shows
Wrong. It's today's 13 year olds version of wattpad. It's only young people reading it and it's concerning for sure
@@flutterg1035 nah a lot of 20-40 y/o read her stuff
@@flutterg1035 in some bookstores in my country she's stocked under the YA section. At 13 I was reading way worse but not literature meant to make you internalise and rationalise abuse and yassify intimate partner violence.
omg thank you so much for the laughter
I don’t know what Wattpad is, but I still agree 😂
If Ryle’s hands are so important, why is he always punching stuff?
That's a good question. Ah, the duality of man 😆
lol!!! True
Checkmate
...and now I'm picturing the nurses having an office pool on how long it'll be before he turns up with a boxer's fracture from punching the wall.
Good point actually
I think the biggest problem is that while it’s very clear that Ryle is an abusive person, a lot of Colleen’s other male love interests are very similar. So while It Ends With Us may not be romanticizing abuse, Colleen most definitely is
I agree, so many of Colleen's male leads are written to be charming, but their behaviour comes across as abusive. However, Ryle is intentionally abusive, which sends a mixed message.
Honestly Ryle is one of the better love interests which is sad because he is the only one who was clearly labelled abusive but she still romanticises him in a way and justifies his personality.
That's interesting, they could've done something with that and sent a strong message/warning to others that away. Those who have been abused may keep going for the same guys, because that might be what they see love is. It's so hard to break the pattern of abuse when you're in it, it would've given a stronger message if they focused on that
This is it exactly!!
Like, Ben from "November 9" is way, way, WAY worse than Ryle, but he gets everything he wanted in the end and his actions and behavior are fully justified because he had "twauma".
@@hg-oz5ui These women are not looking for answers in the movie. If you are in that situation I would bet that group is not clamoring to watch a movie about DV! I saw the movie it was good, followed the book well I think the shock was for non-readers the abuse was the surprise.
*****Trigger/Spoiler warning*****
Being one of many who read both books, I'd say my biggest disappointment about the movie was the fact they left out what I thought was a critical scene from the book. The conversation Lily had with her mother when she told her she was not only pregnant, but what Ryle had done on multiple occasions. Lily expected Jenny to take Ryle's side and talk Lily into taking him back since she herself had done it so many times with Lily's father. However, Jenny didn't do that at all. Instead, Jenny gives her daughter decent advice about how we all have limits to what we'll put up with before we break. And each time we let someone get away something we told ourselves we would never put up with, it pushes our limits back. Each time the abuser is forgiven and the victim stays, it makes the next time that much harder to leave. Eventually the limits set, become non existent and the cycle of abuse continues. That's what happened between Lily's parents. Jenny begs Lily to not be like her, stay strong like she did at her father's funeral, not let go of the limits she has, and to break the cycle. From my perspective, I feel this scene brought Lily and Jenny closer as mother and daughter. Made Lily understand what was going through her mother's mind while Lily was growing up. Made Lily realize what Ryle had done wasn't her fault. And helped Lily make the right decision to leave in the end.
In the movie this conversation didn't happen. The closest to it was Lily asking her mother why she never left, and Jenny's response was, it was easier to stay and she loved him.
TRUE! they really cut that down to the scene you mentioned and I should have brought that up
Preach, I wish that they'd included Jenny's full speech to Lily, and how she encouraged Lily to have the strength to leave Ryle, and not get caught in the same abusive cycle as she had.
I was disappointed when they cut that too
I want Justin baldoni version of this movie
This is his version. So maybe blakes cut kept this scene? @@manasas868
I saw someone in another comment section say CoHo would be so much better at her job if she just wrote horror, and it has stuck with me ever since. Idk why people think she writes RomComs
TRUE
she markets all her stuff as romance and it’s infuriating I saw middle schoolers reading “Ugly Love” this past year and my heart died a little
@@Roseforthethorns it's E.L. James all over again
@@KelseyShields YUP
People think it because they’re told this is what romcom is.
Ngl the fact that Blake Lively has been using a movie on dv to promote her hair care brand and telling people to wear florals and bring their friends to the cinema makes me like her way less. Like it makes her seem so detached and callous it’s so uncomfortable
"This domestic violence movie is sponsored by ✨Blake Brown✨"
Edit: In all seriousness, yikes.
It's not only completely tone deaf, but that she's going out of her way to freeze out the director like this is just a bad look.
@@bigbearkat2010 yeah like there are accusations that Baldoni made people uncomfortable on set, but I’m not entirely sure how true they are because he seems to be the only one who vocally cares about the fact that it’s a movie about dv. Even if it does turn out that he’s a fake feminist or a hypocrite (obvs not claiming he is since I don’t know him), it gives off such strange vibes that the only one who’s actively promoting charities for victims of abuse and boosting the stories of survivors rather than doing self-promo is the one who’s apparently being ostracised by his castmates
@@tyler-df3wy what are the accusations anyway? The only things I've read so far was Lively saying she felt fat-shamed because Baldoni was concerned his back injury would make him unable to lift her for a scene, which sounds like a legit concern that should be addressed.
@@bigbearkat2010 apparently there was a kiss scene that she felt lingered a bit too long, which would be valid for her to feel uncomfortable but also I feel like that could have been sorted out on set with the intimacy coordinator, and someone claimed he was aggressive and borderline abusive on set but idrk the details. However from what I have seen it feels a lot like there was a lot of tension in general between them, possibly since Baldoni seems to have a very different view of the movie compared to Lively and Hoover. The fact that Lively and Ryan Reynolds apparently kept changing things around, even during the writer’s strike, definitely wouldn’t have helped the tension
And yeah, while I absolutely understand that Lively may feel self-conscious about her weight postpartum, it wasn’t like he was just asking about her weight for no reason because he thought she was fat. He literally asked a physical trainer about it so he would know how much to train, coz if he threw his back out he could hurt both of them. From what I’ve seen it honestly seems like a situation where they both had a lot of conflicting views so the filming wasn’t all that fun for either of them
Okay, so, Lily Blossom Bloom runs a florists', Atlas is thoughtful, sensitive and the centre of her world, and Ryle gets easily riled up. Subtle, Colleen Hoover is not. It's hard to take the ridiculous character names seriously, in a story that tackles such a tough subject matter.
The one thing I genuinely appreciated about the book is that the healthier love interest is chosen, and that he isn't really retconned to sh!t in order to make the second lead look better by proxy. Two tropes inverted a little bit from genre norms.
I really wish Colleen Hoover did more like that in her other books. She CAN indeed write sometimes... she just tends to choose less healthy directions and dynamics in her stories, for better or for worse.
Edit: Changed "first love interest" to "healthier love interest," because both are very different ballparks.
Yes, Colleen clearly went to the JK "TERF" Rowling school of character naming.
@@ndawn90 To be completely fair and unbiased here, I feel like JK Rowling is actually better at names. Yes JK Rowling had some names that were racist and that's awful, but she also had plenty of poc with normal people names. And the obvious, on-the-nose names make sense because HP was for children (don't care about her other books because no one else does either lol) - Hoover's romance books are clearly mature. The only reason why Colleen Hoover doesn't have racist names is because ALL of her characters are white. Literally poc do not exist in Hoover's mind. I feel that's far worse, her fantasy reality is pure white lol
yeah, it's almost like she doesn't give a sh*t and was just trying to capitalize on the 50 shades BS. Money, money, money. Trash sells.
i'm honestly shocked she didn't somehow add in some line about how it feels like atlas carries the world on his shoulders LMAO
Even if he never directly abuses the child, a child watching their parent being abused, especially by their other parent seriously fucks with that child. It can permanently change their brain. It can lead them into repeating that abuse dynamic. It’s horrible. I’ve seen it. No abuser should ever be around a child. It’s super scary and dangerous to that child’s safety and development
This was the scenario that they aren't together and the abuser has shared custody. Of course seeing a parent abused is horrific!
@@AmandaTheJedi Can we take a moment to reflect on why every single so called ''romance" movie in recent years has actually been about abuse?? Does no one else notice how freaking odd that is? We used to have actual romance movies and we still have REAL romance books. They're super popular!......Why are NONE of them being produced and instead, out of the entire romance books genre, we have ONLY had the trully fked up ones make it to the big screen since roughly 2015 ish??? Does no one else find that super odd?? Bc I always thought the romance genre was actually very healthy for women, maybe expecially for those who've gone through bad relationships and need the reminder that there's "good love" out there. And it's really fked up how hard they're working at destroying this genre. And just taking the absolute worst books and adapting those to film.
WHY? O_O I really want to know. Where is this push to make us all feel like sh*t all the time coming from? The Romance section is typically the main section whcih is not super depressing. Had they marketed any of these books as just adult fiction we would not be having this conversation. It's the mixup that's really messed up, and the purposeful reverse-marketing.
@@AmandaTheJedi I thought from your explanation that he was going to be abusive towards her if they shared custody even if they weren’t romantically entangled, but I may have misunderstood. I was multitasking while listening
(Btw I love your videos and they quite ironically keep me sane as the world is going to shit so thank you so much)
I completely agree @@andrabook8758
Even in a scenario where your parent isn't with the abusive parent and they just have shared custody, it can be seriously fucked up for the child. The mind games played on you to set you against the parent; the way the abusive parent talks about them, tells you things about them from their past that you're not old enough to understand. It becomes twisted so that the child can grow to hate the parent, especially if they are presented as not "the perfect victim", completely fracturing the relationship you have with that parent. The mistrust that can begin to build because the abusive parent is whispering in your ear about things in the relationship you should NOT be hearing. All while the abusive parent is painting themselves in a positive light, or as someone who tried their hardest with your other parent, or who is being spiteful intentionally. CoHo doesn't understand that the cycle of abuse doesn't end just because the child isn't actively witnessing abuse. It can and probably will continue through the child even if it's just to hurt the parent if that abusive parent is allowed in their life and isn't taking active steps to acknowledge and change.
"Lily Blossom Bloom, who owns a flower shop" is such a 12yo writing their first story on wattpad thing to do, and thats valid but we're supposed to move on from that and not have that Baby's First OC published for real as adults. Unless its a kids cartoon.
It also reminds me of the how men write women meme with the "she breastily boobied down the stairs" type of alliteration
Idk how stuff gets this popular but then I remember all the interactions I’ve had with others here on the internet and it makes sense
Reminds me of the cartoon fanfics i use to read on fanfiction. Net when i was 13
And she “hates herself for it” smh oh CH
Blake " Grab your friends and wear your florals !"
Justin " DV is a serious topic that shouldn't be taken lightly..."
The two takes and one seems like they understood the assignment.
the marketing making it seem like a fun romance movie was so stupid. this isn't 'Barbie' where you can wear pink clothes and have a good time.
@@benzaiten933 well, it was stupid, but profitable... it's a financial hit.
@@benzaiten933 "Hey come see this movie, a women gets the shit kicked out of her by her romantic partner, repeatedly!" how is that going to sell tickets bud? This is a movie. You get people in the door however you can, then let the message of the movie educate them on DV. The amount of people whining about the marketing of this film, who clearly have no idea about marketing, shocks me.
@KS-xk2so I mean she gets punched once, pushed down the stairs, and bitten on her collar bone while being pinned down
@@KS-xk2soyou don’t want to blindside an audience with potentially traumatic topics. If it’s a movie like this it should be clear, otherwise you’re looking at a lot of bad reviews from people whose fun nights were ruined. I think some level of misdirection in marketing can be cool, but not for stuff like this. Plenty of people enjoy dramas about serious topics
The worst part about her letting him move back in while she's pregnant is that's when he becomes the most dangerous to her. The number one cause of death in pregnant women is murder.
Yeah, I really hate how the novel writes as if Ryle would never be abusive towards Lily when she is pregnant and to his daughter because of this weird justification by Lily/Collen that her dad was only abusive towards her mom when abusers have no problem hurting their children to get back at their spouse. Speaking from personal experience here, they don't need to physically touch you to use you as a weapon against their partner.
Why is this the case? Why are they murdered while pregnant ?
@@HDeverythingSD"... these homicides are linked to a deadly mix of intimate partner violence and firearms, according to researchers from Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health."
@@HDeverythingSD Women in abusive relationships are more in danger as the relationships nears it's end.
Groups that help women leave abusive relationships help the women prepare, they help them get an apartment, a new job etc all in secret. They also advice the women to wait until the abuser is not there when they do leave, and to leave as fast as possible. Many women with children leave in the dead of night, and the children know nothing about it before hand.
The most dangerous moment for women in abusive relationships is when they are trying to leave that relationship, that is when they are most likely to be killed.
@HDeverythingSD just a guess, but I'd say it's because everyone is super nervous about having a baby. Not an excuse, just a recognition that people are more tense.
Hot take: we should create a genre called self-romance, where folks who need to deal with trauma choose themselves and their health over rebounding directly into romance or parenthood. Normalize the character arc of mental health and emotional intelligence to really stick it to societal norms.
I have a book like that lol thank you for giving the proper genre
@@HopelessDreamersClub I hope your book receives all the love :)
I love taking myself on dates, having romantic nights in with myself, buying myself gifts.
I'm not closed to relationships. I'd love a girlfriend, but I also will not compromise my standards when I like being with myself.
I just remember how insecure relationships made me and how I relied on that person for self worth and entertainment and I don't want to be that person again. I need to meet someone who won't let me be that person and that I don't want to be that person for.
There's something liberating about being your own best friend.
@@meifennellysieu7510 thank you
@@vainpiers you're setting yourself up for a good life my friend. i hope you do well
It makes sense to me why he hired a PR firm. Supposedly, Lively was trashing Baldoni, telling the press that he fat-shamed her, that the kiss lingered way too long in a scene, how he was difficult to work with, and pretty much turned the cast against him because no one else wants to cross Lively and Reynolds and risk being blacklisted from Hollywood. I found out about all this drama yesterday, and from what I've seen, Baldoni seems to be the only one actually wanting to focus on the DV aspect; even CoHo is making it seem like a happy rom-com like Lively is doing. This whole drama is a mess and I'm here for it lol.
Yes! Finally someone who knows😂
again, no one - knows - yet because there's also accounts of him being harmful on set, but none of it is corroborated yet, just people trying to get confirmation from things popping up in TikTok comments, so until there's more it's just rumours that could ruin someone's life
The fat-shaming thing, if true, is such shit. Reportedly, he had a back injury and wanted to know her weight to determine if he should lift her in a scene he was supposed to list her in. And I found out-and this is confirmed by Blake-that she herself was the intimacy coordinator.
They had multiple co-ordinators on set (I think at least 3), but she says she stepped in on a few of her own scenes
@@NoelleTakestheSky WHAAAAAT? I thought they had an intimacy coordinator (I think I saw an interview and she said that they had one). Daaaang what a mess lol
I just feel bad for Justin Baldoni. I have liked him since Jane the Virgin, and every single story about him is positive. He writes books and does public speaking about toxic masculinity and it just feels really out of nowhere for these allegations
Love his podcast. For anyone interested it's called We Are Man Enough.
what are his books all about? I'm an avid reader anyway, so I just might check them out instead of ever watching this movie or read and Hoover books.
Exactly why I completely understand him hiring an A+ PR team
well you never know someone dont you
@@issaperson2628-- whew, yeah, my comment aged poorly, didn't it?
Justin Baldoni has been fighting toxic masculinity for many years and has stayed consistent on the narrative that men who are abusive are the problem and there should be no victim blaming of any sort. The allegations of him being abusive on set only came out after many people became upset with Blake about the way she decided to promote this movie versus how Justin did, and to me it seems like damage control on her part. I just do not buy it and until there is solid proof I will stand by Justin, not because he's a man, but because of his values and positive impact he's made over the years.
I agree. If there as abuse on set, then she’d be benefitting by talking about that instead of her hair care line, but she waited until damage control mode for her rep since she’s looking bad and Justin’s looking good.
agreed! i remember finding out he was playing the lead and being very confused because ive been following the man enough podcast for a while now and i was like there's no way he'd stand for this .. and obviously i felt validated that he was not trying to keep this a clearly romance thing but i still maintain he's the only part of this production that's not having it be totally romanticized
Same girl, just the other day I read about a swedish Journalist who did an Interview with Blake and to start the conversation where she congratulated her on her pregnancy (this was in 2016 or smth like that) and Blake congratulated the Interviewer back on her baby bump. The swedish woman was neither pregnant, nor could she conceive children and it made me immediately hate her. She is so foul so her spinning a narrative around how Justin was the problem all along checks out.
Not disagreeing, but abusers are wild. I worked at a dv org and there was a sheriff in one county who was a massive donor and on our board and it turns out he was sexually harassing his deputies and was a trafficker… 🤪 I think the only thing that can be certain is no one but people who were involved have the truth until more vetted info comes out. Would be disappointed if JB was an abuser tho, so hoping not the case 😢
@@Murasaki_137i just saw that clip. Imagine someone congratulating you on your pregnancy and then retorting with calling them fat, veiled with a nice girls’ girl tone.
And then the whole thing after where blake was very pointedly icing out the interviewer while talking with the woman that was next to her. I have never been reminded of Regina George by someone’s actual behavior
9:15 That’s not actually exaggerated. That’s what people don’t understand. Homelessness doesn’t always fit the stereotype. Sometimes it’s just a high school student with negligent parents who is couch surfing at friends’ places to avoid entering the foster system.
Good point
didn't think about it that way
Like when Pretty Little Liars had Caleb sleeping at the school, as an example
@@MsSwthrt102 nah, he was being fostered
I feel sorry for Justin Baldoni. He clearly wanted to spread awareness about domestic violence, and how nobody would suspect that their partner is abusive until it's too late. He's the opposite of Ryle in nearly every way, and has been excluded from group interviews, but Blake Lively and Colleen Hoover seem intent on pushing up the fashion and romantic elements more.
Colleen Hoover had originally marketed the book as a romance novel, no wonder she's marketing the movie like this...
I loved Jane the Virgin as a kid and was excited to see Justin Baldoni in a movie. I found out about the movie kinda late and the marketing definitely mislead me. Thankfully I was warned about it being a DV movie by a friend.
His podcast and book are worth looking into if you want to see the kind of work he's done in bringing awareness to this sort of thing. It's called Man Enough
@@profoundcake thx I'll check it out
Based on what he presents to the world. How can we project onto blake this negativity but project onto Justin positivity because he shows us a good side of him. I'm not trying to say he's not a good person but haven't we learned from this story specifically that we can't always trust the perfect facade
PLEASE REMEMBER Blake wanted it to be a romcom and has marketed it that way. The actual director wanted it to be taken seriously to help people of DV in the present and future.
Plus the author is doubling down in her support but her and Blakes insta pages are full of comments condemning their behavior, and rightfully so, not just for treatment of Justin but also promoting Blakes shampoo and her husband's alcohol business, they even featured a drink they called "it ends with a buzz" - how tone deaf. Blake has been given many opportunities to say something meaningful about the main theme but she keeps redirecting it to her dresses and shampoo, however several years earlier she was a big bully to the Swedish interviewer just for asking her about the clothes in a different movie because it was a period drama, of course clothing would be asked about but she wanted to be on the train of celebrities that actually got demeaning questions in interviews. Self serving, self promoting hypocrites with a vibe of rich girl "better than you" and "cant be bothered".
A romCOM? Where's the comedy? Look this lady fell down the stairs, ha-ha?
Why is she not speaking to him then?
@@AA-iy4gm It ends with buzz? what the actual f?
On "if the mother isn't safe around him, how long until he physically hurts the child" - even if he never does, our understanding of Adverse Childhood Experiences recognises that even if he never physically, mentally or emotionally hurts the child directly, abusing the mother is enough to cause lifelong worse outcomes for the child. For anyone who needs to hear it, for anyone who's staying because he's great with the kids and you don't want to destabilise their childhood: If he's hurting you, he's hurting them. Him hurting you IS hurting them.
Exactly this. (TW: DEPICTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND ABUSE)
And if anyone needs to hear it from the horses mouth. My dad has emotionally, verbally, and financially abused my mother for 40 years. He has never directly abused me per se, or at least not as much as he abused my mom. But just growing up witnessing that has absolutely ruined my life. I am riddled with mental health issues that mean that I can't work. So I still have to live with both of them, i'm still caught up in their nightmarish marriage, and I struggle severely with su*cidal thoughts because of it. Granted some of that is because my mother abused me as well (not common for dv survivors but i guess I'm just lucky lol/sarcasm). But just seeing it happen and knowing I was living with someone who was capable of that behavior was terrifying. It's the constant hyper-vigilance and never feeling safe that really gets you. Feeling unsafe in my own home for almost 30 years straight has literally disabled me, it's destroyed my nervous system.
I'll probably be okay, and this isn't me trying to fear monger you. Obviously having TWO abusive parents has fucked me up a lot more than it might fuck up your kids for just having one (bonus points if the second abusive parent is someone you have spent your entire life trusting). But if it is within your power to do so, please put distance between your kids and your abuser. Not only do you deserve to prioritize your safety, but they deserve to be free of someone they know is capable of horrible, and abnormal harm. So much abuse I saw growing up was normalized to me, as my dad just being like any old guy, as if insulting and screaming at your wife and kids is normal, as if degrading and gaslighting and controlling and isolating all of us was normal, because of the whole 'well he only abuses the mom so he's really just a nice guy whose been through some things!' I do not believe for a second that most abusers are just regular nice people who happen to fly off the handle sometimes. And even if they are, why should someone have to live in constant fear of it happening just to experience some occasional nice things? Doesn't EVERYONE deserve to feel safe most if not all of the time?
Yes divorce can be destabilizing but I promise you I would have given anything to be a divorced kid over a chronically terrified and abused one. And knowing I'm going to have to fight for my life to survive this situation and not accidentally end up with an identical partner sucks. Leaving your partner and putting boundaries between them and your kids at least gives you and your kids the chance to heal and grow, which they can. You can all heal and grow as a family, despite what happened to you.
@@Lisa_Flowers thank you for that message. I hope you get out. You deserve to be able to live without fear.
Imo abuse obf the mohter is abuse of the child.
@@Lisa_Flowersand divorce unfortunately donst mean abuse ends. My biological father csa me specifically becuase my mohter divorced his ass. Destroyed my life. CPS tried to talk me into continuing unsupervised visitation of my now know abuser. I was 5.
@@cheriremily9360even when you 'get out' the fear is with you for life. Like a spector following you around. Just like the grief of a lofe stolen from you.
I really feel like so much more of this story makes sense with Lily being 23. Not only the being naive to Ryle’s red flags and seeing them as romantic but her feeling for Atlas still being so strong. I think aging the character up for Blake Lively really weakened so much of the reality of the character.
True. But red flags can be excused away at any age.
I actually think it wasn’t a bad idea to age Lily up! Of course she ended up being a slightly different character because of that but by making her more established, confident it shows that abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, status or wealth
@@saram3152 I think Blake was way too old to play Lilly also. I didn't like her in the role or the guy who played Atlas. The younger Atlas was too well groomed IMO.
@@ilangirl8 I actually really liked the young Atlas but didn't like the old Atlas. And i found the ending veeery unrealistic. Guys like Ryle don't just agree to a divorce because the woman asks nicely. And women like Lily don't give them their newborn, name the baby after the abuser's brother, asks him to sit with them and then smiling want a divorce. And Ryle just accepts Atlas raising his daughter? Sorry but it's absurd.
I feel like the age up was necessary to make Atlas an alternative love interest because in the book Lilly was a child and he was not when they were younger, meaning he raped her
The way society collectively let Fifty Shades die out is the same way it should be reacting to CoHo. She needs to be banished to the hinterlands of forgettable literature. And the girlies who love her need to pick up better books. For the sake of humanity.
As cheesy and sometimes problematic as Ali Hazelwood's books can be, they're much better than CoHo
I still watch 50 shades all of the time 🤣
@@jendrizzyywhy😭 it doesn't seem rewatchable
Pregnancy, post-birth and leaving an abusive partner are the most high risk periods of a women's life when experiencing domestic violence. The fact it doesn't highlight that, is a massively missed opportunity.
I don't always think abortion is the answer but in this case I think it shoulda been.
@@Traceythetomboygood lord, why on earth demonize it? Not every pregnancy is a blessing, not every child is wanted, and it often ties victims to their abusers.
@@DiligentThroatthey never demonized it tho
The "there are no bad people, just people doing bad things" reminds me so much of the line my abusive ex used to use on me: love me the most when I'm at my worst.
That is why people like Manson, Bundy, Peterson, etc. have groupies. Among other things.
“there are no murderers. Just people who committed murder”
I’ve seen a lot of people saying things along the line of “they changed this from the book so that’s why the film is bad” …hey… maybe you need to start accepting that the book wasn’t good in the first place, either
CoHo books are some of the worst.
The book had *eye roll* moments but the message was strong.
@@RebaSuspish23it ends with us is surprisingly.... ok compared to other stories she write. but there are definitely weird eyeroll moments here and there.
I think my biggest problem with visually presenting the abuse as being an accident from Lily's point of view is that it almost makes it seem like victims of domestic violence stay in abusive relationships because we're delusional. Like, we don't really understand what's actually happening and that's the reason why we stay.
But as a survivor of DV myself, I can say that I was never under the impression that the physical abuse I was receiving was an accident or that it was even remotely acceptable. The reason I stayed is because I was in love, and the good times that I had with my abuser at the time outweighed the bad ones. I knew that it was wrong for him to shove me down the stairs, but afterwards he would be so apologetic and be just so horrible to himself and he would swear that it would never ever happen again and he was just angry or he was just drunk and that he would get help, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and believed his narrative that he was the victim his whole life and that nobody ever gave him a chance, and that I was the person to give him that chance. That I was actually the bigger better person because I forgave the violence. I also grew up in a religious cult that justified pretty much anything a man can do in a relationship, because the man is the head of the household and the wife is meant to defer to him. So in some ways, I viewed it as almost his right as my husband, even though deep down inside, I knew that that wasn't acceptable.
I will say, I absolutely didn't fully understand some of the other abuse that I was going through while I was going through it. The verbal stuff and the psychological manipulation is really hard to see when you're in the thick of it. But I never ever thought that the physical stuff was okay, and I never reframed it as being accidental. I wasn't delusional, I was being manipulated.
I cannot believe I am saying this, but the book does that so much better in my opinion. Ryle’s reaction (up until like the third act) is much more consistent with the behavior of abusers, same as Lily’s. She instantly knows that he hurt her, she only starts apologizing for it after he is soooo sorry and starts love bombing her to no end. I think the dv scenes are much more realistic. However, the ending (leaving Ryle out of it) is much better in the movie. I just couldn’t stand how much involved he was during the pregnancy and that he was allowed to see his daughter. The movie is much more ambiguous in that regard.
@@sissiphos_ I wish they would have shortened some of the romance stuff, and had a few more scenes of her when she's left Ryle. Especially with her mother and best friend. Her not seeing Atlas after staying with him also seems very strange in the movie so I wish they'd expanded on that. Ryle likely would get to see his daughter, but I agree that leaving him out of the ending was a good choice.
What happened in the oven scene, though ? I didn't understand, neither did my husband nor the people sitting next to us.
The whole movie was bad in my opinion. It was more than 2 hours about... nothing. Just bizarre from start to finish.
@lazyshira I think it's supposed to be that he punched her intentionally, but she convinced herself/he convinced her that he did it accidentally. So when the scene happens, it seems more like an accident. He burns himself and pulls his arm back, hitting her. When we see flashbacks to the scene later, we can see that he actually punched her intentionally and was looking at her as he did it.
@@Smulenify that makes sense, thanks! 🙏🏻
Watching Blake Lively talk about this movie, I thought it was just some romantic comedy movie or something, it’s a shame she took away from such a serious issue
I knew about the book, so I was v confused about the marketing 😅 But I think the fact her husband helped write the script explains a lot; having someone who loves you, knows you and is actively romantic with you everyday write the part of your characters abusive love interest is WILD. There will 1000% be a bleed and I think could easily make it feel more like an actual romance rather than a horror story. That was a bad, bad decision imo
@@impposter560 That sucks, its almost like they tried to turn this in some cute love story with hints of DV which is crazy because this could have really leaned into the horrors of DV and told a totally different story. I truly do not understand why Ryan would be a part of the writing for any scenes
My mates invited me to see this saying it was a rom-com. I did t know how to break it to them that it wasn't .
I also find the fact that not only is she promoting her new hair care line, which ridiculous timing obviously, but I find it so tone deaf that she's also promoting Betty Booze a fair bit. A film about DV and she's there like omg look my alcohol brand teehee😋...😐 Just a tad tone deaf imo.
@impposter560 I could be wrong if there's additional info I couldn't find, but the only thing I could find on her husband writing anything for the movie was that he contributed a few lines of dialogue, mostly in the rooftop scene. Doesn't sound like he was directly involved in the script writing.
For how much of a creep he was, Edward never hurt Bella or verbally abused her. I can't believe this film is being marketed as a romance 😷
I just think it's wild when we get to a point where there's an "at least Edward freaking Cullen didn't do X" disclaimer.
I miss only being aware of Edward Cullen's brand of total weirdo.
When Twilight is a better love story than your story, you know you f*cked up
I do think Edward twisted Bella's wrist in eclipse when trying to stop her from leaving him. Granted, I read eclipse 10 years ago, but I remember that scene disturbing me.
@meifennellysieu7510 ive been watching some videos lately on big and carrie from SATC, and that guy makes me see the appeal of christian gray
Rewatch it because he does! He pushes her in the glass table to « protect » her from his brother. Also technically he destroyed the honey moon room (but we’ll blame the s*xual tension)
Buckling in for the shitshow, only to find that the director did his best to shed light on the toxicity. Bravo, sir.
And their trying to ruin his reputation for his trouble
He says he did his best... so you believe that. Whereas I grew up with abuse and I can see how it was made to look like the woman deserves it...the accidents/violence not really shown could easily be turned back on her.
@@Traceythetomboy Oh I'm not informed on anything he said if it wasn't referenced in this video. If it comes out that he was trying to make Lily seem like she deserved it, I will retract this statement. I'm mostly being hopeful because of how the ending is changed? With how Ryle is _not_ being allowed to coparent, iirc.
Amanda, you missed this, which isn’t really surprising because it wasn’t talked about a lot, but Ryan rewrote part of the script during the writers strike. That’s basically spitting in the face of the writers marching in the hot sun, broke as hell, and unemployed. It was agreed upon by WGA that if movies were going to be made, they strictly had to only use the written script without edits. Ryan is a scab.
Is there confirmation on that? I just got the impression that they reworked it before filming?
@@AmandaTheJedi Blake said it herself and the filming schedule matches writers strike timeline.
@@glass.hammerdo you have the interview where she states that? I mean that's a pretty serious accusation
@@KittyKatTube Blake Lively Reveals Ryan Reynolds Wrote Iconic It Ends With Us Scene
By SABBA RAHBAR
Turns out making movies is a family affair for Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.
The Gossip Girl alum revealed that the Deadpool & Wolverine star provided his creative expertise when it came to her new movie It Ends With Us.
"The iconic rooftop scene, my husband actually wrote it," Blake exclusively told E! News at the It Ends With Us premiere in New York City Aug. 6. "Nobody knows that, but you now."
And the chance to work together is something she and Ryan cherish, with Blake adding, "We help each other."
"He works on everything I do," she shared. "I work on everything he does. So his wins, his celebrations are mine and mine are his."
Her exclusive statement to E! News.
@@AmandaTheJedi Mrs. Reynolds confirmed that on the premier.
Blake Lively being cancelled was not on my 2024 bingo card, but here we are. I was not a fan of this book or how it handled the subject matter, but I have a lot of respect for Justin for taking it seriously.
What if Justin Baldoni changing the ending is the entire reason why Blake Lively and the rest of the cast as well as the author unfollowed him? He currently has the rights of the second book, which means that if he doesn’t want to make a second movie, a second movie cannot be made until the rights revert back to the publisher, which can take years. So him changing the ending means that he has no intention of making a sequel, while the rest of the cast and the author want a sequel because of job security. Justin Baldoni fixing the ending and giving Lily a happy and satisfying ending could potentially be what made people upset. 😂
It's almost impossible to make the second book into a movie with this ending (well, they could have Ryle change his mind) but he's also said he's not interested in doing it again in interviews. I did wonder if the ending change is why Colleen might be upset, but she would have known about that when they were still doing publicity together because that ending would have already been filmed
@@AmandaTheJedi Easy to make the second movie. Lily can see Ryle, he seems like he’s changed, perhaps gotten therapy or something, then starts trying to push custody onto him.
He’s already stated that he thinks Blake should direct the second movie, and when asked if he would be in it, he said, “If they’ll have me.” So it’s not like he’s not gonna let it happen lol.
Besides I’m pretty sure Lively was the one who changed the ending. There were 2 screenings and Justin’s scored higher with the test audience but Lively made a fuss and her version got put in theaters :/
this is a compelling theory as to why theyve all seemingly completely turned on him!!
@@leslieknope3394 So that's why it sucked so bad? Or is the book bad as well? The movie was 90% look how pretty those leads are and 10% senseless violence. The first time was out of nowhere, so it really looked like an accident (her giggling an him being upset would have made much more sense) and the other two times were horrible but then she invites him over? And after that out of nowhere comes her big speech. And he just accepts it? This was all too random. And I did not get at all that it was her diary she was writing. I thought she was writing a fan letter to Ellen (which was again just some random and pointless event in the movie).
25:50 In my heart of hearts I hope the slight pause in that sentence was Amanda very quickly deciding not to say “In my mind, if you abuse the mother of your child, I don’t know how much you deserve the air you breathe, much less visitation rights.” because hard same 😂
I just keep getting flashbacks to when E.L James said her books weren't about abuse, even though they very clearly were. Only now, CoHo tried to make it about DV, despite it being almost exactly the same as all her other stories, and is now trying to gloss over the abuse.
Let's not forget the fact that Blake also promoted her alcohol brand (Betty buzz/ booze) through the movie!! An alcoholic beverage!! When we know that most of DV happens because of alcohol
Most abuse happens due to the abuser using alcohol to “self-medicate” which only lowers their inhibitions and increases their intolerance. So the cause is mental and emotional distress displaced on others around them.
They’re technically horrible people without the alcohol too.
Alcohol lowers people's normal inhibitions. The reason that most people who drink don't become abusive is because that isn't in their hearts in the first place. While it's true that many people with the tendency to abuse others also have the tendency to abuse alcohol (go figure), it is NEVER true that alcohol is the cause of the abuse. That's a myth perpetrated by offenders to excuse their own actions; take it from someone who's been abused by an alcoholic who committed most of his worst acts while completely sober. It should never be insinuated abuse happens because of alcohol; if anything, it's the other way around. The offender is an alcoholic because he's abusive, and self-control is simply not a concern of his.
@@Kharizmah That’s a reach.
@@emmaunderbluesky7511 alcohol doesn’t cause DV. That’s not a reach in the slightest. As the above person said, they just use alcohol as an excuse to do what’s in their heart. The effects of alcohol are science.
It's not correct to say most DV happens because of alcohol. That's just not a fact.
I hated how in the movie they framed the scene where Blake is telling the sister about the abuse because the sister says something like: I wish for my brother's sake that you would be willing to give him another chance. However, as your best friend, if you go back to him, I'll never speak to you again.
When she started that sentence, I was freaking out, I was thinking, is she really gonna tell Blake Lively to go back to that abusive relationship? However, then the sentence continued, and I was like, okay. Things are going to get better, right? But then she goes on to say, "If you go back into this abusive relationship, I'm never going to speak to you again. "
That is just really dangerous language to be having towards someone in Lily's situation. A lot of women who experience abuse go back into their abusive environments because they don't feel ready enough to leave yet.
Imagine if you were trying to leave an abuse relationship for the first time and were struggling to and your best friend said to you, if you go back. I'm not speaking to you. That's basically saying that if you go back, I will not be your support system. I will not be there for you.
I understand that that's not what the movie was saying. The movie was saying that the sister was saying that as your best friend, I want what's best for you before standing up for my brother who hurt you and she's basically saying I'm on your side. But the language that she's using "I will never speak to you again if you go back into this abusive environment" was really dangerous and unhealthy.
Absolutely
If anything it sounds like something that could backfire because Lily would be scared of losing a support system and stay in something she feels is more consistent even if it’s unhealthy.
@@The1Dragonprincess exactly 😪
As a writer destined to languish in obscurity since my 1930’s mafia romance books will NEVER end with an abuser ending up with his victim, I don’t know if I’m more disturbed by Colleen claiming to have been a social worker while defending her son who SA’d a teen and then she blamed the teen and acted like her adult some was the victim, or the number of women who seriously see this story, and anything else Colleen writers, as romance. What the hell happened to when romance meant that the two romantic leads, who were both decent people, ended up happily together at the end? This shit is actively sold to teens and young women as romance, and romance is good. Teens and young women are literally told that assholes are good, that gaslighting is good as long as “his scars are on the inside,” and worse.
What are the names of your books? I like the sound of the premise so far, much better than type of plots in popular YA romances
Congratulations for being a disciplined person and accomplished to write books👏🏻 I began a number of stories but never get the enough courage ( I guess) to actually finish them😅I loved your comment, we are surrounded by such false narratives in literature nowadays. Best of luck with future projects. Did you publish any title or we could find your books anywhere?
@@kherisehahaha same! I have written the outline of a book and I keep writing the outline but I never have the courage to like, write the actual book. It's terrifying!
@@latronqui oh, give yourself the joy to actually write, even if it’s just a random scene or only a reflection within your story. Tbh for me it’s the most satisfying after I actually got to write a page or something like it. But it is like sports, it requires some discipline, the more you do it, the better it gets. Hope you’ll get to it this weekend, it’s never too late 🙏🏻🙌🏻😊
you miss the most important part to those toxic leads: they are good looking and often rich/well-off. if the toxic abuser was a middle aged guy who was losing his hair and was a bit overweight, he'd have been kicked to the curb immediately. all those women and girls salivating over the most horrible male characters is mostly based on their abs and wealth, it's absolutely disgusting. also; do tell me about your books, I'll gladly check them out!
Those interviews are like my mother, brushing off anything serious.
I've never been physically abused, but I've had enough toxic friendships to cringe at these movies, especially the "but he's trying!" crap.
A toxic friendship is nothing like living with an abusive person
IIRC at the end of the book Colleen actually praises the ‘there’s no such thing as bad people’ sentiment as one of the deepest things anyone has ever said to her. So I don’t think it’s meant to be foreshadowing Ryle’s abuse, I think she actually thought it was a good line
By her thinking, Hitler and Trump are good people who just made a few bad choices….
The author literally said she likes to play Devil's Advocate in her books. On the other side, she has also said that she writes for entertainment and not to educate, then why use serious topics like DV for some "romcoms"? CoHo is not just a bad author but also a bad person.
@@NoelleTakestheSky look i hate trump too, but "hitler and trump" is wild. he's only genocidal in subtext.
Considering that if you read her afterword in the book, which discusses her abusive father, she says she chooses to remember him for his "good days" only, basically ignoring the times he spent abusing her mother. So yeah, I'm almost positive she genuinely believes in that sentiment of "no bad people. only bad actions," actions which she can then conveniently ignore and still believe they are good.
Seriously speaking, Hoover is one of the few YA authors that should have age restricting, in my opinion. Her books are currently being popularized by teenagers and frankly, apart from it ends with us, all her books romanticise abuse and are setting up teenagers to end up in similar relationships. At the very least, her books need some kind of warning that make it clear to even the most vulnerable person that these are not good male love interests. Heck, one of her books literally had an SA scene between the main couple and that only got adressed after a lot of people called her out for it.
November 9? There was a scene that was so blatantly rape that was supposed to be rape even in the books, that the publisher forced her to remove it before doing a second printing.
One of her earlier books is about a young high school teacher who goes after a student. There was a “hot” young teacher like that at my high school, and it came out years later that he absolutely was going after teenagers. I was there his first couple years, and I thought it was very fucking odd how he’d closely slow-dance with the more popular, pretty students. Really closely. Well, he didn’t stop at just dancing. He’s a convicted sex offender now. He’s the very sort of teacher romanticized in Slammed.
I found out my 13 year old niece loves her books…. I was horrified had to have a long talk with her and I’m pretty sure she’s still delusional about the romance even though she told me she knows it’s abusive
Is she really considered a YA-writer? I would have thought her stuff is aimed more at the Nora Roberts crowd?
@@Maria-Sol I thought so too! I genuinely thought that her audience was mostly older moms
@@Maria-Sol unfortunately not she advertised heavily on TikTok and interacts with teen fans
I think I heard that one reason they left out a lot of the abuse, like him knocking her out or slamming her into a wall- was so to not go too extreme where someone in the audience might justify their own issues and relationship as 'at least /mine/ isn't that bad' and not seek the help they need. The PR around this movie is really odd and I don't get it- unless it's literally a tactic to downplay the seriousness so it's more impactful? I dunno... very weird drama around a drama.
downplaying the physical makes sense, it's the verbal i would have liked seeing, not, enjoyed, but just to show that abuse happens in more than one way
@@AmandaTheJedithe thing is Hoover thinks abuse is only physical and sexual. She wrote this book as a response to critiques of her other works, kinda "you think my male leads are abusive, I'll show you real abuse".
So I knew this aspect would get downplayed, like it happens with other adaptations.
@@911nmg😮 she really sucks
@@AmandaTheJedi Yeah. I think the gaslighting could've been done better. Having her realize the truth towards the end of the movie seems weirder to me- as an audience we don't need to see it through her vision. But verbal and emotional abuse is certainly a kind of damage no one can see so harder to detect.
Perks of Being a Wallflower: The main character writes to an anonymous friend (probably the audience)
It Ends With Us: The main character writes to ELLEN DEGENERES.
my friend tried to get me to read this book and i was genuinely embarrassed for colleen hoover...
I know we overuse this word here on Beyoncé’s internet, but proposing at someone else’s big event (wedding, birth of a child, funeral) is such a narcissist move!
Thank. You.
I was thinking that the whole time during that scene
Wait so the abusive guy voluntarily leaves her alone??? In what world does that happen?
I literally watched 2-5 seconds of the trailer 'guy walks into a flower shop there is cute banter' and completely dismissed the movie. The fact that it is actually about DV and blonde woman didn't find the book and get the film made but instead a guy did and HE is the one openly talking about the DV in the book and film is WILD to me.
“Blonde woman” is Blake lively and yes it’s crazy she cares more about her outfit promoting the movie then the message
I actually wonder if the movie would have been a lot darker if Lively and Reynolds weren't involved. perhaps the world missed a helpful movie on the subject.
@@bunniewoodwhat's actually irked me the most is not only that she's promoted her new haircare line, which ridiculous timing obviously, but it's that she's promoted Betty Booze a fair bit also. She's the MC in a film that centres around DA and she's there like "omg is that my alcohol brand teehee😋"...😐 Just so tone deaf imo.
Also I think its quite good that some of the early abuse scenes are framed as mistakes, because abusers do this quite often they'll "mistakenly" hit you or "jokingly" hit you and make weird jokes. To you know test the water of how much you'll let them get away with.
Get FLORAL and make sure you're drinking lots of Betty Buzz beverages because ain't nothing problematic with this delightful romcom . . . is what I would take from the press tour, courtesy of Ms. Lively.
That's what annoys me the most. "OMG, is that my alcohol brand, you guys teehee😋"..😐Just so tone deaf
27:55 I think irl most people who abuse their partners will be violent towards their children as well... Not to mention the ones that end in murder.
Not always, but it can happen. My bf’s dad was physically abusive towards him and his mom. He never put his hands on his daughter though so my bf says he’s glad his sister never went through that, but she obviously saw everything so that’s horrible too.
@@leslieknope3394you just proved their point. The father abused the mother and that trickled down to the son.
This is It’s Morbin Time all over again. The producers didn’t realize that Colleen Hoover’s fanbase is outspoken, but *small.* Now Justin is getting flack for how he directed it, and Blake is under fire for how she’s marketing it. Go figure, it’s almost like this story was full of divisive and conflicting themes since its inception!
I wonder how much of Blake Lively acting like this is a fun rom com and not probamatic at all in interviews is just the marketing department telling her romcoms sell better than movies on domestic violence...
Yep, I've thought that as well. I wonder if they think that women wouldn't show up for a serious movie. Which, with the current anti-intellectualism, I would probably agree. There's been a rising sentiment with people that they just want fun and to turn off their brains. You see it in some female oriented shows but even the more manly ones suffer from it as well. So I wonder how much of that influenced this movie. If blake wants a romcom she should do a romcom and not try to fit a round peg into a square hole.
She wants that rom com box office money for sure. As for the marketing department being to blame here, dream on... She is a producer, lead actress and married to a talentless himbo with the biggest clout in town atm. Her acting like it's a funny little rom com is entirely on her.
If Baldoni had enough common sense and integrity to resist this alleged marketing department than so could have she
We needed a Jedi warrior to stand in the breach for us. Many thanks, Amanda. Also, as usual, your review is so fire that it gave us fourth degree burns
My (formerly) pregnant friend was being abused by the father of her child and I urged her to get a protection order so he wouldn’t show up when she’s defenseless in labor and attempt to manipulate the situation. I was afraid people would prioritize his ‘rights’ as a paternal figure over her and her child’s actual well-being. As well as being afraid he would use the child as means of control. Much like the crux of anti abortion legislation. Saved screen shots of her reporting the escalation of abuse during her entire pregnancy. Want to know what the leading cause of death is for pregnant women in the US? Homicide. Fortunately bc she followed through, he now can’t see his child for at least 2 years. It’s the abuser that relinquish the right to see their child when they are an objective danger. Feeling the need to voice any sympathy at all for such a person, is the exact reason my friend was more afraid of her abuser.
Honestly I would love to have seen them take the way they framed certain incidents as accidents but then clip in the actual reality either in the moment or in a flashback way so it is more clear she’s just trying to cope with her situation. Just little short flashes of the reality and maybe even have the lighting or edit just slightly darker.
They do that LATER when she's running out of the apartment and when she gets to Atlas's but it means they have to pull the verbal abuse he inflicts out
@@AmandaTheJediokay still would have been a cool edit the way I was thinking. Not full on showing the whole reality at that time but like really short flashes. Waiting for streaming before i potentially see it myself
I grew up in a domestic abuse home. All my childhood memories consist of mental, emotional, verbal and physical abuse. My mother, siblings and myself would get beat on a regular basis. This was a very sensitive subject. Millions of women die every year at the hands of their abuser. Blake Lively was not the right person to portray a victim of domestic abuse. She is rude, hateful, self-entitled, and so obnoxious it’s not even funny. Throughout most of her scenes she was either giggling for no reason or had a stupid smirk on her face, even when the dialogue was serious. This is a very compelling subject with very tragic endings. Blake made a mockery out of this very heartbreaking reality that occurs in many homes to this day. Domestic violence is not a romance novel. There is no happy ending. Even when the victim gets away, they are left with emotional and mental trauma. Some end up with permanent physical injuries. Shame on Blake Lively! Rich girl! What would she know about the real world.
SavyWritesBooks makes such a great point that CoHo books are erotica marketed as romance, and her male leads are all toxic and lean into abusive behaviors, and her women end up apologizing for the toxic behaviors of the men.
I’m exhausted.
Love Savy!
@@Wraiven22 same!!!!!
I don’t like the fact that there’s a hero guy character to juxtapose Ryle … it romanticizes it a bit , that there’s going to be a handsome love of your life that will notice - stick up for you- be there to pull you away from the bad situation…. So many in that situation don’t have a white in shining armor love interest …they are alone or the people around them offer help but can’t offer another love /marriage.
A lot of women on my mom groups who want to leave these situations - the number one thing they say is “ but what if I don’t find anyone else ? He says I won’t. I’ll be a single mom alone. I’m getting older, no other guy will want me .”
When she leaves - is a factor of it that she knows there’s another man out there who would be there to help and love her unconditionally ?
She does pull herself away , but atlas is the one to “ wake her up” as she goes to his house , can lean on him.
'what if I don’t find anyone else ? I’ll be a single mom alone. I’m getting older, no other guy will want me' - as long as they THINK they can't manage without a man, men (current and future) will treat them as such!
As someone who is dependant on them. Therefore less than them.
People pick up on that desperation. It's a self fulfilling prophecy loop.
The other problem with "white knighting" in this situation is that in the real world, people who seem like they are saving you may not have good intentions either and are trying to get close to you in a vulnerable moment. When I finally drew the line with my ab*ser and broke up with him while I was at work, he showed up to my work and I had to tell the body guards at the bar/restaurant I worked at to not let him in while I broke down in a panic attack in the bathroom. Obviously word got around and I had a coworker approach me and tell me if I needed a place to stay and to be around people I could trust, I could go to his place for a "kickback" with some other coworkers. Well, only one other person ended up being there and he took that opportunity to SA me when I was most vulnerable. It is honestly wild how many people will see a person struggling and not think "omg I need to help" but instead think "omg, a perfect opportunity!". Not saying at all that everyone who offers help has nefarious intentions, but just be aware that bad people will always try to catch you at your lowest and most desperate.
@@TwinsBigLikeTia this is so true and such a good point !! I’m so sorry someone
Took vantage of it , but I’m not surprised with how bad people can be.
I think it’s too much of a fairy tale that another man can just take you away from all of it. Many women have to leave knowing they have no man and little to turn to because abusers isolate them.
Yeah then all of a sudden everyone “ understands you” and all the “ nice guys who would never do that to you”
This video felt so surreal; I kept seeing parallels between the movie's story and my own experience being married to an emotionally and psychologically abusive partner who was so adept at manipulation and gaslighting, and I'm even more grateful that I got out of that relationship without letting my anger and frustration turn me into a monster, and eventually managed to rebuild my life as a single dad. Please, everyone, don't let anyone trap you in an abusive and toxic environment.
Yeah. I was stunned by the journal boundary violation as my ex did that with me. A very early red flag that I ignored.
I didn’t know Justin before this but he seems like a genuinely good person from every vibe I get, while Blake seems like a mean girl who weaponizes her celebrity and faux-feminism against him.
The moment I found out Blake invited her husband to come and work on the project and change things is the moment when I said I’m not watching this.
Thankful for you!!! I definitely have no intention on watching this more or reading the book. The press tour has all but cemented that for me.
Idk what it is but as a survivor of multiple abuses, some of these stories feel more like horror-pórn than anything else. :/ like for people who have normal lives that want to get what’s it’s like to be one of “those” people
yeah. like they're monkeys in a zoo, and the tourists are trying to figure out how they feel and what their behaviour ''really means".
it is. its trauma porn. its sensationalistic to them
*gasp* How DARE you not put Ryan George at the top of the "Canadian Ryan" list!
Truly disgusting. Unsubscribed.
He is the best Ryan.
i did not care much for the ambiguous potrayal of abuse.Especially with the kitchen scene where he burnt his hand and it looked like an accident and her following him to the stairs when he clearly told her to leave him alone. i compare it to a movie like sleeping with the enemy where in it was quite evident what was going on.
5:16 The reason why I can’t take Justin hiring a crisis PR team in bad faith is because of his extensive history of tackling toxic masculinity, by way of the books he’s written, his podcast and his interviews. I think he’s 100% allowed to defend himself in this situation with the accusations that have been thrown his way
I watched Nicole Rafiee’s video on the marketing/actor issues with the movie right after yours and I’d recommend it for everyone because it shows a very different side of the story and meshes well with this one, loved Amanda’s video!
atlas trying to basically provoke ryle through his talking about the restaurant is one of those aspects that will never sit right with me as an abuse survivor tbh
like why would you, knowing someone is being abused, and caring for them, try to basically provoke the situation more (not that it's not the abuser's fault for responding that way, but when I was being abused I really wished people around me responded in ways that didn't make my abusers escalate in retaliation by taking it out on me and making it harder to leave)?
it reads less as his trying to speak his truth or profess his love and more as a pissing contest to "claim" lily which is disgusting.
Wish we could have a film where the dv victim chooses to abort if they get pregnant. Women need this kind of representation, instead its shoved down our throat that we should keep a kid no matter the awful situation
Totally agree!!
thank you for making sure this video came out at the peak of my insanity
"Wear your florals" has the same energy of "let them eat cake" by Marie Antoinette.
The scene were she asks the guy what he'd do if his daughter were being abused is so weird! The way that she's just smiling throughout is so... off. like the *tone* problems in this movie are astounding
HE PROPOSED TO HIS GIRLFRIEND IN HIS SISTER'S DELIVERY ROOM ?!!! Holy shit that's unhinged.
Also about the Rile shadowboxing a memory of Atlas instead of Atlas being in Lily's life again. I wholeheartedly agree. My abusive mother would do the same thing to my father about his ex-wife to the point she forbid him to even talk to us about moments in his past where she was in the picture (she got mad one time because he talked to us about a trip he took to Turkey because the ex-wife was also on the trip. Even if he didn't even tell me about her just talking about goind to the spice market in Turkey). Keep in mind that's 8 years of his life that he couldn't talk about. That shit is almost more scary imo.
2:10 But that’s what it’s like in an abusive relationship. That’s the whole point. It helps you to empathise with the *difficulty* of leaving. If you weren’t hoping that they would get better, then it would be *easier* to leave, although still *hard* because it is unsafe and you have had your emotional, physical, financial resources and support network taken from you. But the hope that they will get better and the romanticism of them is part of what makes it so hard.
As a woman fresh out of a very strange manipulative abusive relationship I can agree with this 💯
As someone that has been in a psycologically abusive relationship i hate that they’ve downplayed that type of abuse bc there can be psycological abuse without physical; but there NEVER is physical whithout the psycological. It is the foundation, it is what makes you stay, the feeling that you’re dumb or ugly or crazy and that nobody else could ever love you, that it’s really not that bad bc after a week of constant fighting they’re suddenly sweet for one afternoon and that gives you enough hope to keep going a little bit more, and more, and more… Physical abuse is horrible, but easier to show in media, and it’s really important that the psycological side gets shown bc it’s almost invisible and really, REALLY dangerous. My thoughts are with anyone that has suffered any of this before, male, female or non binary . Stay strong.
The worst part for me is definitely seeing him on myself bc of the unhealthy way of communicating and getting my needs met in that relationship. I see his behaviours on me and i hate it, it makes me feel disgusting and it makes me wonder if it was bc of him or if i really was the problem all along or if i’ll end up being like him in the future. I’m trying to work on it but it hurts so much feeling like i’ve become him and that i’ve/will hurt people the same way that he did with me. Makes me honestly want to disappear.
@@nadiagonzalez9297being aware that you don't want to repeat those healthy habits & projections is a huge important step to be proud of!! Working towards being aware each time with even small things and actively reminding yourself do do differently or "better" is a journey!!! But super proud of you for even admitting it BC "bad" people/people doing negative things rarely ever truly ask themselves if they're "bad/doing bad things" there's a huge difference between "understandable" and "excusable" something can be understandable but not excusable. It's important to reflect on that with other ppls actions and our own 🙏🏽❤️ srry my wording is probs weird but hope you're doing well!!!
girl your segues into your sponsors are always so seamless lmao
Better than DylanIsInTrouble tbh 😅
I've been waiting for this video ever since the first story of drama on the set came out. Amanda and Kennie JD are my favorites for dissecting mess.
A while back, I heard a rumor that production had actually been put on pause due to issues with how to film some abuse scenes that were still supposed to be romantic. Now, it sounds like the rumor was most likely correct.
20:00 i really do not think the issue was with the director when it comes to the awful portayal of an abuser, wasn't his version of the movie discarded and instead we got the one curated by blake and preferred by the author?
Yes
Having grown up in an abusive household growing up and then becoming involved in one with my ex I decided to remain single and have remained a single mom and have not been in a relationship for the past sixteen years.
Hello 👋 nice meeting you 😊
Omg finally someone covering the movie and not just the production drama ❤
I’ve been checking your channel for days looking for this video
Lmfao So Twilight is FINALLY a better love story..... than It Ends With Us. 😂
Honestly Twilight has been a better love story than most movies lately. 😭
@@RandomSwiftie13 Why is this so true tho?😅🤣
I honestly blame Twilight for all of this. Like no kidding. After we got stuck with 50 Shades, 365 Days and now this. Meyer screwed us all over!
@@LaFlor718 i swear she created a branch timeline or sumthin
When I read the book, one of the choices I struggled with the most was Lilly keeping the baby without a second thought. Now you’ll have this man
In your life forever. In the second book he’s a nightmare to co parent with and makes it really hard for her to be with Atlas. I worry when the child gets older he’ll try to turn the kid and then teenager against her mother. The child won’t understand what’s happening until she’s older.
YES I was punching the air at all of the content from the r*pe scene and beyond.
Not going to law enforcement and NOT CONSIDERING ABORTION. Beyond that she let him build the crib and touch her belly and held her hand during birth!?!?
Idk but it’s giving Mormon author the same way Stephanie Meyer (the author of twilight) was.
Honestly, like-if he's violent to her, at any second he could turn it on the child. He is dangerous and she's willingly putting a child's life at risk or her own selfish need to have a kid bc I can tell you NO child would want to be born in an abusive home. NO child wants to grow up watching one parent abuse the other, then have that abuse turn on them. We are all born without our consent and it's up to the parent to make damn sure as best as they can that the environment they are raised in is safe, secure, stable and loving. Yes, I know there are different situations out of a parent's control, I'm talking about this type of situation where she knew what she was putting the child at risk for.
15:31 - The question is.... _WERE_ they trying to play with perception? Or were they simply trying to legit make him not as bad as he was in the books specifically in order to be able to pass it off as a more legitimate romance rather than acknowledging exactly what it's supposed to be(an abusive relationship, and not particularly romantic at all but rather more of a tragic saddening scenario overall) because they knew the issues and criticisms that detractors had against the books and were hoping to be able to successfully net a wider audience with the film than the book could/did?
Well I think we should just wait. There has been a lot criticism for the books and Colleen Hoover. I honestly haven’t seen any marketing for this move except the main trailer that shows a good sniper for the book including Ryle Slapping Lily across her face.
Maybe both Blake the director are trying to do both things for people to give it more appeal idk
How is it that the dude playing the villain of the movie is the only one who seemingly cares about the domestic violence aspect of it?
Blake's out here making hair care products and telling girls to "Bring their besties and wear their florals"...like GURL read the room 🙄
honestly, from how everything was edited, I wouldn't be surprised if the movie we're seeing is the Blake cut ...
It is. There were so many differences between how Justin and Blake made the movie, there were 2 screenings for test audiences. Justin’s scored higher but Blake’s somehow still got the theatrical cut 🙄
Thank you Amanda for suffering through this shit for us 🙏
the marketing for this film is frankly disgustingly irresponsible - theres some seriously triggering subject matter that most of the promo is completely ignoring
Watch the cafe society interview with Blake lively where she mocks a female interviewer (who is unable to have a baby); because the interviewer opened up the interview by congratulating lively on her very public pregnancy and baby bump. Lively was then sarcastic when asked about the films wardrobe and continued the interview by conversing with her co-Star instead of the interviewer
😮
I think they shot the abuse scenes the way they did because Justin wanted to tackle the topic of DV without exploiting it and possibly triggering or upsetting survivors. So many times when Hollywood tackles serious topics they end up being explicit and exploitative and causing further harm
Yessss
Nicole Raffiee made a really good point in her video about this film and Ryle being worse in the book. She said that in the book, the abuse escalates incredibly worse than in the film. She said that it is a good thing that the film doesn’t show the worst of him because she believes that some people would see it and go “at least my boyfriend isn’t THAT bad so it can’t be abuse”. Showing him in the way the film did shows that he doesn’t have to constantly beat her for it to be abuse. So I kinda like that they didn’t show the worst of it.
It's so obvious that they were trying to recreate a 'Barbenheimer' moment with 'It Ends with Us' and 'Deadpool and Wolverine'. Like Blake, girly pop, read the room. Or better yet, read the actual book.
NEVER BEEN SO EARLY IN MY LIFE! OK NOW IS MY CHANCE!
1. Where did you purchase the Aligator Shirt that you wore in your Paris River Shark Attack Movie video? It's been on my mind for a while now. I love your shirt (and general wardrobe) and would like to buy one for myself. Thank you.
2. On August 19 Netflix is releasing season 1 of AMC's Interview With The Vampire (2022). It's a great show and it would be cool if you did a review of it. It currently doesn't have a high viewership rating on AMC. So it'd be nice if your videos inspired others to watch the show on Netflix.
3. Lastly, I love your videos! I've been watching you suffer since 2020 (Twilight Saga) and I thank you very much for your sacrifice. Truly an inspiration. Never stop never stopping. And have a great day! 🤩
I got it when they were having a pretty big sale, but it's from a company called Tombolo
been thinking about Interview with the Vampire but hard to judge when to cover things when I've missed season 1 coverage and we're 2 seasons in - love the show though
and thank you!
@@AmandaTheJedi Thank you so much! I scoured the internet looking for a "blue alligator shirt" and couldn't find anything so this is very helpful and OH WOW their shirts are expensive! I'll keep an eye out for the next big sale tho thanks! Like I hope you don't mind but I genuinely use you and "divorced-dad-of-three-teen-girls-on-a-joint-family-vacation-with-his-now-ex-wife-and-her-new-husband-and-their-new-baby-just-trying-not-to-feel-like-a-failure" as my fashion inspiration. I just wanna look comically depressed with a sprinkle of unhinged sometimes. 😮💨
And don't worry about IWTV stuff if you're not sure or don't think it's possible to cover timing-wise. It's your channel, you do you.
Last words- I swear- I just want to thank you for introducing me to shows like Bly Manor, Arcane, Midnight Mass etc. And for covering Baby Reindeer, I really wanted to watch this when it came out but when I checked the synopsis I realized the subject matter would probably not sit right with me. So I'm really glad you covered it and that I got to watch it vicariously even though it was likely a difficult watch for you too. Thank you again and peace out for realz 😎
You know you're a joker if you name one of your main characters, "Atlas".
Thank you for your sacrifice, Amanda. 🙌
25:47 children suffer from and are the victims of dv too. You cannot be an abusive partner but a good father.
Lilly using Atlas’s homelessness as a quirky fun fact about herself is actually so disgusting. So heartless to reduce him to a moment he had no control over even in an anecdote like that. Also talking about homeless people like a different species when she fully knows it’s something that can happen to anyone and means nothing about who they are as a person.
An easy rewrite would have been Ryle mentioning homelessness like “sorry for throwing that chair and looking like a crazy homeless person” then Lilly could have said actually people can become homeless for a lot of reasons and many of them are good people, in fact my first love was homeless at the time…
14:30 I also wouldve thought it was genuinely an accident if I hadnt read the book
I was watching with a friend and before the flash backs she was saying, “he’s so amazing!”
I've fallen on our stairs 4 times in our house (because they're carpeted) and I have medical issues with my feet so stairs are hard for me. I ended up in the hospital each time and the third time the doctors and nurses had my husband leave the room so they could talk to me with a security guard. I knew exactly what they were thinking and I'm grateful that they take those steps for people. I felt awkward trying to explain that he wasn't even home for one of the falls and the other two falls were me on the stairs alone. Now, when I'm feeling shaky, I have my husband walk me down the stairs but I could see how the doctors would think something else. The doctor did note that I never looked to my husband to "answer" any questions nor did I let him answer questions for me at any time. Better to be safe though and I'm glad our ER took the time to make sure that I was safe in my own home. They also gave me a number for the women's shelter and an abuse hotline number just in case I was covering for him.
I didn't follow the drama so every time it made its way to me I was confused as to whether everyone else on the cast was critizing the male lead or the director, and now I finally got the answer. They're the same dude. So that explains a lot.
It does seem like the cast didn't understand (or didn't want to understand) the type of movie they're promoting anyway, but I digress. Thanks for making these videos bc I'd never watch this movie myself xD
Abusing the mother is abusing the kid. That cannot be separated.
So totally get the frustration with how they framed the abuse. But counterpoint: I think it would be harder to watch a character face abuse so obvious for SO LONG without getting exhausted or thinking "how stupid can you be???" (which, not great to think) You're following her thoughts as she is convincing herself its a healthy scenario. A lot of abusers are not cartoonishly evil. Or if they are, they probably don't start that way. You're lured in at first. They erode your thinking and force yourself to reckon with the fact that no, they aren't hitting you on accident. Then you rationalize it, hoping that there's something you can do to bring back that sweet, loving person in the beginning. In that way, it is not only realistic, but it can seriously help people see the parallels in their own relationship.
Even the business with Atlas kinda works. People are not an island, and a lot of the time you need help to get out of a tough scenario and it makes you no less strong (oh my god I'm defending a CoHo adaptation)
No, I don't think so. Maybe that's what Blake wanted to go for. Colleen is defniitely just running a grift tho. And in the books it is WAY more clear and she's still trying to rationalize it by the end. She's still excusing the behaviour by the end. She's just not right in the head.
For Blake, I think she picked a very poor project. Colleen especially is incredibly controversial. I don't think anyone could have saved these stories through careful editing. Some books are like 80-90% ok and just need a tweak in a few placed. But that's NOT CoHo's books. They're just straight up nuts. She'd have to rewrite the whole book. So she's either gonna get hate from the fans or get hate from the haters of the series. It's 100% the material. This stuff is only popular on TikTok. She basically appeals to the fk heads who keep saying ''maybe the woman secretly liked the abuse". CoHo is not right in the noggin.
@@andrabook8758 good point. I forgot she hand picked this book, but from a stone cold capitalist perspective? It makes total sense. It’s HUGELY popular, even beyond tiktok and its “romance” is unique (for a reason, and not a good one). It goes without saying CoHo, if not actively grifting abuse survivors, is putting out fan fiction level writing.
I’m only here to defend the job of the editors, director, and screenwriters who are literally trying to polish a turd atp.
ETA: yes terrible material, but it’s about to crack $100 million on a $25 million budget. Show biz, baby
@@korahcuff245 I don't believe that, I'm sorry. Before CoHo, I would have never believed that any woman touched by DV circumstances would decide to turn their own or their mother's horror-show of a life into cheap smut. A lot of the book reads like it was written by the abusive man, not by a woman and definitely NOT by someone with a relative who went through that. Her books always read as if she thinks women are all sluts who put up with abuse bc they get off on being abused. She is a grade-A a$$hole and a very good manipulator. That is all she is.
I don't give a sh*t about their bottom line in a season with almost ZERO movies. Had they picked better material they would have made many times more without the backlash. CoHo is a manipulative jerk. But everyone else is not much better. They have zero respect for this tiopic. And I am boycotting this turd.