You're exactly right there! These "jokes" are just a manipulative way of hitting on a woman while still maintaining deniability. If he gets called out he can claim it's "just a joke" or even shame the woman with "you need to lighten up, can't take a joke?"
I agree married people shouldn't be flirting around but If the guy and girl is single it's completely fine to flirt with the opposite sex. It's basic biology. Society is trying to shamed social people into living lonely and depressing lives just because a few uptight people. But let's all be honest here... it 100% depends on the looks of the ones doing the fliriting. If a "great looking" guy or girl is doing the flirting or joking it's fine, married or not.
@E Me being an ugly guy, just trust me I know how the world actually works. I'd be reported for harassment if I asked a single girl out on a date in the workplace. It has happened before. Older people tell me I'm extremely kind and well mannered. Women my age say I'm creepy. It's all about my physical appearance.
@@TheFlyingZulu you definitely come across as creepy and bitter and yet I’ve never seen your face. Women can sense your rage and entitlement. That’s why we avoid men like you.
by the time the wife finds out about one incident you learn its not the only time. Usually its been a lifestyle. Ive been divorced for 10 years and Im still finding out things about my ex. I'll probably never marry again
She told him she would leave if he betrayed her again. Now she needs to follow through. If she doesn’t, he will know she’s full of empty threats and he will just continue to do whatever he wants without consequence.
Well if she stays she should cut the ties emotionally and find a man who can take her mind off her shitty husband. What’s good for the goose…… is good for the gander
Totally agreed! She already made that decision about this situation! Children also need to learn to reject toxic love environment, self-respect and self-defense. I had a cheating dad, a break up, threat and retake mom., we thought love was to accept toxic and dysfunctional behaviors! Kids need daddies who respect their wives and marriages too!
Yeah I think the financial piece is important. For me, I CANT get out because I can’t save money without help. I’m living check to check with no help…. My son’s father has promised he’d get to work when my son started school. He’s been in school for a year & he has no intention of ever working again… I just can’t do this… but how do I save 1st last & security??? Go to a shelter? Where does my son go???
Never stay for the kids. My parents did, and I always wished they’d divorce. They messed up my entire childhood and caused me great anxiety and depression.
Best advice I ever received: “Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.” And “make your own money and have your own career so you’ll always have options.”
@@Missybella92227 lets talk about these women that have children to keep their man by their side. Pure manipulation . I have a friend that had a one night stand, boom the girl got pregnant . She kept the kid !!! He didnt want to, thinking he would get into a relationship. Today the little boy is emotionnaly neglected and she dont let him see his kid AND YOU WANNA KNOW THE BEST ?? She told him she dont want the kids and she wants him to have full custody . Does this make sense ? NO some women are sick in their head .
She has no right to tell the person being harassed that she shouldn't have done something about it, maybe her husband should have grown the heck up and not been a perv!!
1. She’s a family friend 2. She knows they low on money 3. A joke is not something alone that is detrimental That was for sure personal and she wanted to watch other people experience heavy rooted pain. She should have went to her friend who’s a woman and has say in the man’s life first.
Because she knows if she leaves him no other guy with date her seriously.. a single mom of 3 lol. Imagine being the stepdad and the kids never respecting you because you’re not their real dad..
@@KennyFromthaA I think it's more financial fear. Personally for me, it's never about finding a partner. Whether you have a significant other or not, business has to be taken care of. I don't think she's set herself up to do everything solo or else she would've left already
I was thinking the same thing. Just by listening to her voice she sounds like she is going to stay and be a doormat. I feel really sorry for her. I hope she can gain the confidence to leave but I’m doubtful.
Her friend told her about the sexual harassment because she’s a friend, otherwise I doubt the husband would’ve told her himself . They have a loss of income because he can’t control himself around women evidently.
I guess we’ll never understand. I struggle with two kiddos with my great NON cheating husband . I could never imagine in a million yrs bring a third with a cheating husband. So sad .
My husband is a manager and had to fire his best salesman and friend due to sexual comments to female staff. I felt so bad for the guy's wife having to find out what happened, but ultimately it's up to these guys to follow the rules and not create an uncomfortable work environment.
I am embarrassed for this caller. This husband is beyond disrespectful. She shouldn't worry about divorce in relation to her children. Children want to live in a happy home not a stressful chaotic home and that is exactly what they will have if she stays with this man. Having a husband that does not respect his role as a husband and your title as a wife is always the most hurtful.
And having a depressed mother is worst! I grew up with a depressed mother because my father cheated on her and refused to be accountable Blamed my mother and the other woman Love my father but he is a Narcissistic man Now he is 72 and still refuse to be accountable This happened in the 80s
Her unhappiness and pain can motivate them not to be in that situation. Also, he is still their father and what he did and who he is is going to affect them whether she stays or not. Divorce isn't for the kids unless your spouse is hurting your children. Your spouse will still have a relationship with the children and they will still see his actions when they are around him and will be effected by him, you just won't be. So having kids already makes them effected, nothing will change that whether she stays with him or not. If she stays then it's just one person, if she goes and gets with other men who are like that then that can really messed the kids up.
20 years… you know who he is… he’s shown you who he is. cheating and sexually harassing someone are two different things. This man has issues. She needs to walk away. He doesn’t respect boundaries.
Good for John for pointing out it’s her husband that caused the financial hardship. I don’t think she fully understands the kind of guy her husband is and that this is his doing not anyone else’s.
She knows and has known, it's the fear of the unknown, loneliness, financial hardships, etc, that keeps her there. I've seen it countless times, inner strength is hard to come by for a lot of people
Right. When she said she wished that her friend had come to her before going to the boss, I was ... not thrilled with that suggestion. John handled it gracefully. Going to the harasser's wife often opens a giant can of worms, like, what if the wife doesn't believe her, what if it causes rumors that the accuser is trying to get someone fired, etc? Even if this particular caller would have believed the accuser, I also don't think there's any way the caller could have talked her husband out of that behavior.
@@sailorsallyrockinrarity2130 💯 and this woman has a right to a harassment free workplace so it should be handled through the right channels not through a “friend”
She’s placing blame on the friend, however I wonder if this happened to her on her job would she consider the feelings of the creep’s spouse that was sexually harassing her? This is a pattern, trend and profile of her spouse and “working” in another state saves her face. Outta sight outta mind! She’s not leaving!
Once had a supervisor that was married and would tell every girl he would mess around with that he was getting divorced, funny thing is that he been getting divorced for 10 years now. Until finally one girl turned him in for harrassment and got fired, other supervisors got fired with him cause they knew what was going on and never reported it.
I think she’s still immature in a lot of ways and I believe getting into a relationship so young can stunt you of your understanding of how terrible people can be and lie to your face for so long. Poor thing sounds like she has no confidence in her marriage let alone herself!
She probably married very young. Or that’s how her voice is. I have a friend whose voice sounds like a 10 year old no lie. At first I thought she was doing it on purpose.
@@shachede6828 you don't know how a ten year old. I have 9 almost ten year old, no adult sounds like that. And I was thinking the same thing she sounds extremely young.
Honey, he can't even be trusted to respect the women he encounters/works alongside of and that's while he's with you, so what on EARTH makes you ask if he can be trusted? The first thing you need to do is start trusting YOURSELF. People who target coworkers and friends for sexual harassment are predators.
John talked about the silent killer. He missed the other one: The overwhelming feelings of embarrassment, shame, utter humiliation, and lack of self respect that the partner who stays in the relationship feels after they’ve been cheated on. THAT ways in someone. Knowing that people chatter about you being “the poor wife” that has zero self respect and won’t leave her creepy, cheating husband. The PTSD of fearing walking into stores and running into the person they cheated on you with. THAT is the 2nd silent killer.
Not necessarily, everyone takes in things differently. I don't get the whole being embarrassed thing and humiliation, that would be someone who cares about what others thinks way too much. Who would even know?? You don't have to tell anyone. Feeling hurt and angry yes and feeling insecure yes but those feeling you described or so self centered.
@@ASmith-jn7kf feeling embarrassed and humiliated is self centered? I don’t understand that logic. And yes, people would know in her situation because it’s all around his work and bled to other places.
@@ASmith-jn7kf Most human beings care what other people think of them. It's normal and natural to care what your community thinks of you. It's normal to not want to be viewed in a negative light. Other people already know what happened because he harassed someone at work, so the person he harassed knows, the boss probably knows, HR knows, coworkers may already know.
There are so many comments from wives saying their husbands were fired for sexual harassment. Like what heck is going on ?!? No way i could stay with a monster like. Omg
You told him after the first affair that you would leave him forever if he did it again... stick with what you told him you would do. Because if you don't, he will continue to cheat and know that you aren't going anywhere. Actions have consequences. Why do you want to have to worry about what the person who shares your bed is doing to disrespect you daily?
He's been cheating for 10 years and she's turned a blind eye. She worries about her kids. If she stays with him she is telling her kids its ok to be cheated on and treated like absolute garbage, and to treat your kids like they don't matter as well
Not necessarily true. But I get what you're saying. Before making any decisions you must pray to the all knowingly Lord. He'll know if someone will or won't change.
Can a leopard change his spots? He has consistently shown you that he will never respect you. Ultimately, it’s up to you on how much pain you and your children can endure, and what you need to make a better life for you all.
The first quiet days will be okay until they miss the chaos and the arguments. And before you know it their toxic partners will be at the location to get them. And if you try to talk them out of it, you might quickly become the enemy. They might even partner with them against you. You can't save adults who are in toxic relationships because toxicity is addictive. You can only help someone who already left and has actively taken measures to cut all contact with the toxic partner. Someone who is secretly wishing their partner regrets, apologizes, comes and rescues them or trying to play absence hoping with the move they make them jealous is not ready for help nor do they really need it even if they are saying they do. They just want someone to confirm they are a victim, hear them vent , help them criticise their toxic partner not too much, just the amount they find acceptable before they go right back to them. If you want to help people then protect your heart and your ability to do so. Use wisdom. That gift misused might easily be lost. You might end up hating or fearing people you were supposed to help because you jumped the gun, interfered and got burnt.
Well... the fact that she has not much empathy for the friend who was harassed by her husband and blaming the victim for not talking it out with the creep and causing her family financial hardships.. suggests that she doesn't wanna leave because she wanna be a SAHM and really doesn't wanna work
He's most likely been cheating behind her back. Unfortunately, he is full of excuses. My ex husband did this. After the 2nd time, I knew we were over. He had 2 at one time just prior to selling the house. So sorry, it stinks that he is so immature and not a good husband. Separate at the very least! You will be glad.
First of all, I doubt this was just "one little joke" and I can understand why the friend doesn't want to talk to her any more. She's making excuses for her husband and blaming the woman he made feel unsafe at her workplace.
@@ASmith-jn7kf And that is why those types of men don't learn and usually have many victims before they are discovered. They are usually surrounded by women who either look the other way, shush about them or attack and ostracize other women who want to speak. They are protected. It always takes one bold person to expose them. I am happy to hear she was the bold person and didn't want to play the game of her friend of shushing about her harassing husband. Hopefully he will have to learn to behave if he wants to go back to work. Although with the wife who provides a supportive environment for his actions and shifts the blame to her friend, I doubt this man can ever improve.
@@ASmith-jn7kf thats just sad lol. i hope ur doing okay in your life and feel safe and loved because if a MARRIED GROWN ASS MAN with CHILDREN told me something even slightly inappropriate, i would be running around telling everyone and reporting his sorry ass. the creepy, sexual comments rarely just stop at that. if not punished immediately, it usually turns into assault or harassment. her friend did the right thing.
@@ASmith-jn7kf she's probably minimizing what he actually said. Her friend didn't run and tell about a tiny joke. It was something wildly inappropriate and she didn't feel comfortable telling her friend. She knew her friend would excuse her husband.
He is a habitual cheater and he won't stop. You can ditch him or you can put blinders on and pretend it didn't happen. I don't even know why she called.
Please remember that you are a role model for your children, especially your daughters. I made the decision to leave when I realized that I would not allow my daughter to bring a man like her father home. Although I believe you should leave, I can’t make that decision for you. Dr. John is right. Forgiveness is for you. When I left my ex, I left him a five page letter telling him everything that I would not tolerate in future relationships. I also wished him the best for his future. Could I have sat in my anger and dwelled in my pain? Yes, but I don’t want to feel miserable all the time. I wish you the best of luck whatever decision you make.
My ex bf was reported for sexual harassment. In his late 50s he would put an arm around a coworker half his age. I can't believe I supported him. I later realized he was a cheater. That young woman was correct, and this old lady was wrong. One thing I like about younger generations is that people are willing to speak up. I was trained to brush it off. But looking back on all the decades of my adult life, I have never enjoyed having a man in a setting such as work telling me a d-ck joke. Never.
I understand the fear of separating and what it will do to the kids...but THIS, your current situation of abuse, is worse for them. You are teaching your kids that this treatment of you is OK. It will affect their future relationships!!! If you leave, you are teaching them that you being treated this way, ANYONE being treated this way is *not OK.* And that is such a valuable lesson to teach our kids! You are worth so much more. You are worth being loved, protected, you're worth someone being loyal to you and your kids, you are worth being with someone who isn't a pervert and adult CHILD, you are worth being adored, delighted in, you are worth being with someone who is SAFE for you and your kids.
She is not being abused. That is their father and what he did and how he has been will already shape them her staying with him or not isn't going to change that. If he has a good relationship with the kids now that is in jeopardy because many people abandon the kids to hurt the spouse and their family, even messed up, is still a family.
Mental illness and lack of accountability , no fear of God, no respect for marriage. You leave your wife and children home, go to work to look for your daily bread and end up sexually harassing at your place of employment. Poor wife. If his wife did this, society would crucify her, call her names and write her off. Marriage is hard.
This is very sad! Yeah maybe he's silently victim of mental illness which his the demon hiding on his behavior make him doing something nonsense! Those people need God and prayers to become on their true self because they can't control themselves.
It’s very likely that this and the infidelity from 10 years ago are the only ones she knows of.. so sad. I hope she makes the right decision for her and her children.
The more I hear Dr. John flatly say “using her thighs as earmuffs”, the better it gets. Credit for maintaining a professional demeanor. I blushed just hearing it
She stated that they both went to marriage counseling and that she also separately tried to work on herself (in therapy), but did her husband? This conversation points to that he did not. Erica, I hope you realize that he is not trying to work on himself and make himself better for your family and that you deserve someone who won't disrespect you like he is doing to you and your kids right now.
No, you can't trust him. You can never trust him. You never could. And people don't change (ever). I've never met anyone who changed. People may mellow over time, and they may give up some bad habits that are holding them back (but even that is rare). She has to decide if this is her life or not. I know quite a few people who just live with it and accept it. I guess they feel being alone is even worse.
I’ve met people who’ve changed, but this guy isn’t going to. Also, it seems to me (am only 40 next week) that people who change will only change for self - not others, and usually only after great loss or consequences. Her staying is enabling him, sadly.
She can stay with him, but she will have to accept he does not possess the character that she wants and needs from a partner, and she's going to have to lower her expectations of him to zero. And no, he's not going to change anything after 24 years together, the pattern is set.
If she stays, she should just show him how easy it is for a woman to find new men. I’d be having a new, much younger male every single night of the week, and he could watch the kids whilst I traipse out the door in my high heels and party dress to meet the next man. That’s the only thing a chasing man would understand. Put him in your situation-alone and left at home with the kids. That’s what he doesn’t want.
@@ASmith-jn7kf Nah. This guy's recklessly irresponsible and is willing to risk his job, and with it his ability to support his family; he also harasses other women and lies about it (nobody gets fired for just one off-colour joke). He's basically a head case.
This is so awful. Please, caller, get OUT now! Please make a plan, grab your kids and leave. The longer you stay, the more he is going to understand that he can get away with anything and you will continue to stay. Forgiveness IS for you. But it doesn't by ANY way mean that you have to stay and endure abuse. You can forgive someone and not let them back in your life ♥️
Oh, that ship sailed over the current into the sea a decade ago. This is solely her self-esteem. He’s not going to change ‘cause he hasn’t been given a reason to
Her husband cheats on her and she has another baby? Very poor judgment IMO. Then he's fired for sexual harassment. He's a weak insecure "man" who doesn't respect women. She should divorce this loser ASAP.
She's not going to leave him the fear of doing it alone will keep her from leaving she just wanted to know if she could trust him ....no but you're going to stay anyway because a vision in your head of a relationship that could of been is what holds you on, no hate been in this situation but she didn't sound like she even wanted to leave I had to go through it enough times, it created an anger inside me I burned inside to do it alone. It was hard soul destroying but the end results are so worth it.
I’m sorry what? That’s not even cheating at that point, if he can’t keep it in his pants that bad that he gets FIRED! He might assault someone, guys with zero sexual self discipline are a danger
@@xhaltsalute 🤣 4 realz though granny? When is the last time you heard it? That one is quite unique enough! I love the art of wooing a woman and being chivalrous and keeping it sustained. Phrases like "It's so cold...maybe you could...warm me up" "your side looks better with me next to it" "the sun doesn't shine brighter than you" are more of the classics I know about
Kids can tell when their parents are having a difficult time. Don't stay together for the sake of the kids. They will be resentful later. Divorce as soon as possible.
Oh I can't believe she's mad at her friend. When someone is being sexually inappropriate at work it makes everyone who hears it feel unsafe. I've been harassed at work. For them to actually fire him he posed a real physical threat to this woman or he has already been on probation at work for repeated offenses. Employers will absolutely not fire a man because he told an offcolor joke and one woman complained.
My husband got fired last year for sexual harassment. He acted like he was wronged rather than the one that did wrong. He lost his well paying job and now is making less than half of what he was that causes me great stress and angst and anger because he never apologized as he doesn't feel he did anything wrong. I told him you middle aged guys think it's a compliment to a young girl to be talked to like that but he just comes off as a disgusting, dirty old man. They deserve, both young women and men, to go out and earn a living without being treated so disrespectfully. I have difficulties with trust so I wasn't crippled with shock, just anger at his stupidity. There is no forgiveness because he feels he wasn't wrong, so he doesn't deserve it. And elephants wish they had my memory. I'm not one that believes forgiveness is necessary for healing, but that's my opinion. If I was that young girl I would have turned him in, I have my own zero tolerance policy.
"I have my own zero tolerance policy" and yet you still call him your husband??!! On top of that he's acting like a child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and believes it's the cookie jars fault he got caught.
I was feeling you until I got to the end; your hubby is a man child; you are stressed, angry, he holds no accountability and you have no forgiveness because he doesn't feel he is wrong WHY are you still with him???
@@2021noname and THIS is what can happen when woman don't have the capacity to make moves if and when they need to in order to preserve themselves and /or their childrens well-being- forced to marinate in toxic situations!
Using kids as an excuse to change.... Is sad. Your kids need to see that you're strong and you need to set an example to them if someone disrespects you. You do not stay with a cheater and sleazebag. He is a sleazebag.
My ex husband was a man whose ego was never complete without the prospect of another woman wanting to be in a relationship with him. I don't know how many times he truly crossed the intercourse line, but it's all more than anyone should have to wonder about every day. There are men who do not have that need. Create relationships with secure men.
There are good guys like me that are single, looking for a good woman. Yet the good women are tied up with bad guys. Have some self worth and dignity. If you’re in a cheating relationship, get out of it. Get a man worth coming home to. If you’re going to carry his last name, and he is cheating on you, it’s time to make a change. Have some self worth and dignity
a lot of single women feel the same way, but they are over 30 or a few pounds overweight so the so-called good guys will be tied up with the bad girls who they're hot for.
Thank you Dr., for explaining to this woman how forgiveness truly works. That was the most important part of the betrayal there that needed to be talked about 👍🏻
He needs help. Counseling. Something. He has no self control. Imagine what he’s doing when he’s out alone somewhere like not at work where he’s probably not gonna get in trouble like on the street or grocery stores or whatever. Porn involved. This is the tip of the iceberg. I’m pretty sure . Gross. Does he have girl children?
I heard this from somewhere and find it would be helpful for this poor woman - "Don't keep collecting red flags." Losing this immature man as a husband is less of a problem than losing herself, which you can hear in her voice. Lose that mess of a spouse before you lose yourself.
She's going to stay. Just tell him that you are staying for the kids. The marriage is now open. Keep it respectful and classy. Don't bring any of the extra martial sexual relationships into the home. While she waits until the kids are grown, she needs to get a career and prepare for the divorce.
this would work for a woman that is done in her heart but I heard it in her voice, she wants him to grow up and change. And he wont wait around for her to get it together an d not play wifey He will leave her
Listening to this I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My heart ❤️ goes out to you. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine Prayers that you find Peace and that you have the Strength to move on. Pray 🙏
Sexually inappropriate jokes at work is an attempt to fish for interest. He's an habitual cheater and just got caught again.
You're exactly right there! These "jokes" are just a manipulative way of hitting on a woman while still maintaining deniability. If he gets called out he can claim it's "just a joke" or even shame the woman with "you need to lighten up, can't take a joke?"
I agree married people shouldn't be flirting around but If the guy and girl is single it's completely fine to flirt with the opposite sex. It's basic biology. Society is trying to shamed social people into living lonely and depressing lives just because a few uptight people. But let's all be honest here... it 100% depends on the looks of the ones doing the fliriting. If a "great looking" guy or girl is doing the flirting or joking it's fine, married or not.
@E Me being an ugly guy, just trust me I know how the world actually works. I'd be reported for harassment if I asked a single girl out on a date in the workplace. It has happened before. Older people tell me I'm extremely kind and well mannered. Women my age say I'm creepy. It's all about my physical appearance.
@@TheFlyingZulu you definitely come across as creepy and bitter and yet I’ve never seen your face. Women can sense your rage and entitlement. That’s why we avoid men like you.
Right this is just one of the times he got caught. He’s been cheating and probably is the type of guy to buy prostitutes behind his wifes back.
The nerve of saying she should have told me instead of exposing him at work.
Girl bye.
Some people dig their own graves
😂😂😂she's softer than baby poop. She knew he was mo loyal. He's been doing it and more, he just got caught.
Yeah, she’s a co-conspirator at this point. Get off the phone and go make your hubby dinner. 🍲
She should've left him after the FIRST time cheating. At this point she's her own worst enemy.
She was partly blaming her friend for her husband getting fired. And that's why her friend didn't come to her in the first place.
THIS. i just posted the same comment, comes off as victim blaming and victim shaming.
Sounds like she actually believes that her husband has been faithful over
the last 10 years, before this last incident. Highly unlikely.
by the time the wife finds out about one incident you learn its not the only time. Usually its been a lifestyle. Ive been divorced for 10 years and Im still finding out things about my ex. I'll probably never marry again
She wants to believe it but she knows differently.
It’s what she wants to believe it’s sad to say a lot of women are this delusional just to keep their man
I absolutely 100% agree, after she said what she said about cheating again and leaving him, he went right out and cheated again.
Yes, him being faithful is about as likely as the cow jumping over the moon!! 🐄🐄🌕🌕
She told him she would leave if he betrayed her again. Now she needs to follow through. If she doesn’t, he will know she’s full of empty threats and he will just continue to do whatever he wants without consequence.
He knows she’s dependent on him and how she was affected by the divorce of her parents so she’ll stay for that reason alone.
Well if she stays she should cut the ties emotionally and find a man who can take her mind off her shitty husband. What’s good for the goose…… is good for the gander
Yep
He knew she was a pushover right after she stayed the first time he cheated.
Totally agreed! She already made that decision about this situation! Children also need to learn to reject toxic love environment, self-respect and self-defense. I had a cheating dad, a break up, threat and retake mom., we thought love was to accept toxic and dysfunctional behaviors! Kids need daddies who respect their wives and marriages too!
They wouldn't fire him over 1 joke. This man has always cheated. He is no doubt cheating right now.
Who knows if he’s cheating now but I agree, nobody gets fired from a single joke.
Don’t want the kids to witness a divorce, but instead, wants them to witness dad disrespecting their mother and other women!
Possibly them if he has daughters.
Yeah I think the financial piece is important. For me, I CANT get out because I can’t save money without help. I’m living check to check with no help…. My son’s father has promised he’d get to work when my son started school. He’s been in school for a year & he has no intention of ever working again… I just can’t do this… but how do I save 1st last & security??? Go to a shelter? Where does my son go???
@@mbbeautea6986 Tons of people make that work. its something you have to do. swallow your pride and get on food stamps and gov help
Never stay for the kids. My parents did, and I always wished they’d divorce. They messed up my entire childhood and caused me great anxiety and depression.
I know people who say their parents splitting caused the same thing. Its how the parents conducted themselves afterwards
Same here... It's so sad... Hugs!❤️
Same. My parents have no business having romantic relationships with anyone and no business raising children.
If they got divorced it might not have been so great either. Sometimes you can’t win.
SAME!!! Mine eventually divorced but should have done so years before they did. I wouldn’t have needed 20 years of therapy if they did!
Best advice I ever received: “Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.” And “make your own money and have your own career so you’ll always have options.”
It's not even a financial bind - 24 years, three kids - she can work part time and make it on child support/alimony
Exactly !!
And women need to learn to stop having multiple children when they are having issues with their S.O.
But forgiving while never forgetting whats has been done isnt truely forgiving .
@@Missybella92227 lets talk about these women that have children to keep their man by their side.
Pure manipulation .
I have a friend that had a one night stand, boom the girl got pregnant .
She kept the kid !!! He didnt want to, thinking he would get into a relationship.
Today the little boy is emotionnaly neglected and she dont let him see his kid AND YOU WANNA KNOW THE BEST ??
She told him she dont want the kids and she wants him to have full custody .
Does this make sense ? NO some women are sick in their head .
Remember, he doesn’t get caught every time. Who knows how many times he has cheated on you. Nasty man.
Nasty ? Lmao are you 12.
@@KennyFromthaA they're probably not 12 but you sound like a defensive cheater
I know a serial cheater, the mental disconnect is strong, they are impulsive and narcissistic
@@iNicKeoN yes I am. Men can cheat , women can’t. Read a history book dumbass 😂
No he's not 12 but he sure does act like he is 12. So immature and no self-control.
She has no right to tell the person being harassed that she shouldn't have done something about it, maybe her husband should have grown the heck up and not been a perv!!
👍.
Yes, but let's cut her some slack. Her world is crumbling. She'll be upset she defended him one day.
@@dianaslade9595 she’s a grown adult and old enough to know thats unacceptable. who does that? a pick me. she’s a pick me.
1. She’s a family friend
2. She knows they low on money
3. A joke is not something alone that is detrimental
That was for sure personal and she wanted to watch other people experience heavy rooted pain. She should have went to her friend who’s a woman and has say in the man’s life first.
@@dianaslade9595 NO. This is a habit for him. Yes, her world is crumbling because she is ALLOWING IT.
To live in this situation is far worse than divorce.
Far, far worse.
They are both bad but with one you get to maintain your integrity and a little bit of peace. That's the only difference.
I could hear in Erica's voice that she has no confidence in herself at all. She's not gonna leave. She's gonna stay in this terrible situation
Because she knows if she leaves him no other guy with date her seriously.. a single mom of 3 lol.
Imagine being the stepdad and the kids never respecting you because you’re not their real dad..
@@KennyFromthaA I think it's more financial fear. Personally for me, it's never about finding a partner. Whether you have a significant other or not, business has to be taken care of. I don't think she's set herself up to do everything solo or else she would've left already
I was thinking the same thing. Just by listening to her voice she sounds like she is going to stay and be a doormat. I feel really sorry for her. I hope she can gain the confidence to leave but I’m doubtful.
@@KennyFromthaA that's not true. I know plenty of women who were single moms and got married. My mom was a single mom. My stepdad is awesome.
@@KennyFromthaA that’s mainly a black people issue lol
The rest of the world doesn’t really have that kind of issue
Her friend told her about the sexual harassment because she’s a friend, otherwise I doubt the husband would’ve told her himself . They have a loss of income because he can’t control himself around women evidently.
And how disrespectful to even put a mutual friend in that predicament! He wanted to hurt his wife!
👍.
Yeah I can’t believe she said blamed that woman for her financial hardships. Honestly made me lose a little respect and empathy for her
Won't control behavior is a choice
yeah, HE is the one at fault for their financial struggles, not the friend. the friend is the victim.
I don’t understand the couples that bring “another” child into chaotic situations. Why does anyone think this is a wise idea?
Right? I seriously cant comprehend how people see having another child will save their marriage. 😔
I guess we’ll never understand. I struggle with two kiddos with my great NON cheating husband . I could never imagine in a million yrs bring a third with a cheating husband. So sad .
The world is full of demented people
@@ashvaz7060 all she’s doing is trapping herself in this marriage even more.
People think having a child will bring everyone closer. Unfortunately, that's not always true.
My husband is a manager and had to fire his best salesman and friend due to sexual comments to female staff. I felt so bad for the guy's wife having to find out what happened, but ultimately it's up to these guys to follow the rules and not create an uncomfortable work environment.
Don't feel bad for the wife most are fully aware of the men they choose to marry.
Good for your husband. That had to have been very difficult.
@@Kinksgalore That's not true
@@SarahR2D2 I believe that most women are aware of them and they Mary
@@Jane5720 That is not the reality. Few women may but not many
I am embarrassed for this caller. This husband is beyond disrespectful. She shouldn't worry about divorce in relation to her children. Children want to live in a happy home not a stressful chaotic home and that is exactly what they will have if she stays with this man. Having a husband that does not respect his role as a husband and your title as a wife is always the most hurtful.
This is a very penile issue
He should of been fired for the mere immaturity displayed with "I want to wear your thighs as earmuffs."
@@Ryan_DeWitt that's a good one I hadn't heard that
And having a depressed mother is worst! I grew up with a depressed mother because my father cheated on her and refused to be accountable Blamed my mother and the other woman Love my father but he is a Narcissistic man Now he is 72 and still refuse to be accountable This happened in the 80s
Once you tell the kids their father is cheating, you are asking them to take your side.
It’s never over one joke, it’s a buildup of bad behavior over time.
If you are staying with your husband who disrespects you repeatedly you're not doing your kids any favors.
You don't know that.
Her unhappiness and pain can motivate them not to be in that situation. Also, he is still their father and what he did and who he is is going to affect them whether she stays or not. Divorce isn't for the kids unless your spouse is hurting your children. Your spouse will still have a relationship with the children and they will still see his actions when they are around him and will be effected by him, you just won't be. So having kids already makes them effected, nothing will change that whether she stays with him or not. If she stays then it's just one person, if she goes and gets with other men who are like that then that can really messed the kids up.
@@ASmith-jn7kf my parents didn't treat each other well. They had 5 kids, so I actually do know what it does to kids.
20 years… you know who he is… he’s shown you who he is.
cheating and sexually harassing someone are two different things.
This man has issues. She needs to walk away. He doesn’t respect boundaries.
Good for John for pointing out it’s her husband that caused the financial hardship. I don’t think she fully understands the kind of guy her husband is and that this is his doing not anyone else’s.
She knows and has known, it's the fear of the unknown, loneliness, financial hardships, etc, that keeps her there. I've seen it countless times, inner strength is hard to come by for a lot of people
Right. When she said she wished that her friend had come to her before going to the boss, I was ... not thrilled with that suggestion. John handled it gracefully. Going to the harasser's wife often opens a giant can of worms, like, what if the wife doesn't believe her, what if it causes rumors that the accuser is trying to get someone fired, etc? Even if this particular caller would have believed the accuser, I also don't think there's any way the caller could have talked her husband out of that behavior.
@@sailorsallyrockinrarity2130 💯 and this woman has a right to a harassment free workplace so it should be handled through the right channels not through a “friend”
Some women think that men can't help it so they are very understanding of such a thing.
I think she just like to be a victim unfortunately someone thrive on being a victim So they can get pity patter parties and take no accountability
Newsflash! Your kids can tell if their parents are being fake for the marriage.
She’s placing blame on the friend, however I wonder if this happened to her on her job would she consider the feelings of the creep’s spouse that was sexually harassing her? This is a pattern, trend and profile of her spouse and “working” in another state saves her face. Outta sight outta mind! She’s not leaving!
Once had a supervisor that was married and would tell every girl he would mess around with that he was getting divorced, funny thing is that he been getting divorced for 10 years now. Until finally one girl turned him in for harrassment and got fired, other supervisors got fired with him cause they knew what was going on and never reported it.
Yeah, it usually takes one. Most are usually unwilling to report such things. some out of fear of backlash, others because they like it.
🍿 bet he's divorced now. 😂
She's been with him for 24 years? Her voice makes her sound 24 years old ... I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that
I think she’s still immature in a lot of ways and I believe getting into a relationship so young can stunt you of your understanding of how terrible people can be and lie to your face for so long. Poor thing sounds like she has no confidence in her marriage let alone herself!
She probably married very young. Or that’s how her voice is. I have a friend whose voice sounds like a 10 year old no lie. At first I thought she was doing it on purpose.
@@shachede6828 you don't know how a ten year old. I have 9 almost ten year old, no adult sounds like that. And I was thinking the same thing she sounds extremely young.
People can look and sound younger than their age. It's not that uncommon.
Could've been together since 17 or 18
Honey, he can't even be trusted to respect the women he encounters/works alongside of and that's while he's with you, so what on EARTH makes you ask if he can be trusted? The first thing you need to do is start trusting YOURSELF. People who target coworkers and friends for sexual harassment are predators.
John talked about the silent killer. He missed the other one: The overwhelming feelings of embarrassment, shame, utter humiliation, and lack of self respect that the partner who stays in the relationship feels after they’ve been cheated on. THAT ways in someone. Knowing that people chatter about you being “the poor wife” that has zero self respect and won’t leave her creepy, cheating husband. The PTSD of fearing walking into stores and running into the person they cheated on you with. THAT is the 2nd silent killer.
Penelope Yes, it’s just going to take time. If she does the work in herself, she’ll eventually learn how much she has to offer and leave her husband.
Not necessarily, everyone takes in things differently. I don't get the whole being embarrassed thing and humiliation, that would be someone who cares about what others thinks way too much. Who would even know?? You don't have to tell anyone. Feeling hurt and angry yes and feeling insecure yes but those feeling you described or so self centered.
@@ASmith-jn7kf feeling embarrassed and humiliated is self centered? I don’t understand that logic. And yes, people would know in her situation because it’s all around his work and bled to other places.
Great points
@@ASmith-jn7kf Most human beings care what other people think of them. It's normal and natural to care what your community thinks of you. It's normal to not want to be viewed in a negative light. Other people already know what happened because he harassed someone at work, so the person he harassed knows, the boss probably knows, HR knows, coworkers may already know.
There are so many comments from wives saying their husbands were fired for sexual harassment. Like what heck is going on ?!? No way i could stay with a monster like. Omg
Welcome to the real world...
I didn't see any of those. Interesting.
You told him after the first affair that you would leave him forever if he did it again... stick with what you told him you would do. Because if you don't, he will continue to cheat and know that you aren't going anywhere. Actions have consequences.
Why do you want to have to worry about what the person who shares your bed is doing to disrespect you daily?
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
He's been cheating for 10 years and she's turned a blind eye. She worries about her kids. If she stays with him she is telling her kids its ok to be cheated on and treated like absolute garbage, and to treat your kids like they don't matter as well
Not necessarily true. But I get what you're saying.
Before making any decisions you must pray to the all knowingly Lord. He'll know if someone will or won't change.
I mean yes, it's OK to be angry if you're being sexually harrasssed at work
This woman is in denial
Her husband is dangerous
Grateful you put the blame back on the husband. He lost his job because of (HIS ) actions.....
Can a leopard change his spots? He has consistently shown you that he will never respect you. Ultimately, it’s up to you on how much pain you and your children can endure, and what you need to make a better life for you all.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them
Amen Ella.
Every time!
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Sometimes I wish I could just swoop up these callers and carry them safely far FAR away from their horrible partners!!!
The first quiet days will be okay until they miss the chaos and the arguments. And before you know it their toxic partners will be at the location to get them.
And if you try to talk them out of it, you might quickly become the enemy. They might even partner with them against you.
You can't save adults who are in toxic relationships because toxicity is addictive. You can only help someone who already left and has actively taken measures to cut all contact with the toxic partner.
Someone who is secretly wishing their partner regrets, apologizes, comes and rescues them or trying to play absence hoping with the move they make them jealous is not ready for help nor do they really need it even if they are saying they do.
They just want someone to confirm they are a victim, hear them vent , help them criticise their toxic partner not too much, just the amount they find acceptable before they go right back to them.
If you want to help people then protect your heart and your ability to do so. Use wisdom. That gift misused might easily be lost. You might end up hating or fearing people you were supposed to help because you jumped the gun, interfered and got burnt.
That was a great way to sum how to not fall into codependency or rescue behavior!
❤❤❤
Well... the fact that she has not much empathy for the friend who was harassed by her husband and blaming the victim for not talking it out with the creep and causing her family financial hardships.. suggests that she doesn't wanna leave because she wanna be a SAHM and really doesn't wanna work
Right… she’s gonna continue to make excuses for her husband to get what she needs out of the relationship
This lady wants to stay with him and is looking for someone to tell her it’s okay - God bless her
He's most likely been cheating behind her back. Unfortunately, he is full of excuses. My ex husband did this. After the 2nd time, I knew we were over. He had 2 at one time just prior to selling the house. So sorry, it stinks that he is so immature and not a good husband. Separate at the very least! You will be glad.
Sorry to hear of your situation. But the positive rebound is good
Hope things got better
Let’s go trumppp
Home of the cheaters 😂
@@JR-wu8gf Trump has nothing to do with her comment. You should seek therapy
Stay with him and pray for him
Once a cheater always a cheater. Once women learn this they will stop the cycle.
Does that apply to women? Plenty of women cheat; Dr. D. usually makes an excuse for it because the man must have done something to cause it.
Vice versa
First of all, I doubt this was just "one little joke" and I can understand why the friend doesn't want to talk to her any more. She's making excuses for her husband and blaming the woman he made feel unsafe at her workplace.
Well if it was my friend, unless he touched me which he probably did, I wouldn't have reported him to the job. I would have told my friend though
@@ASmith-jn7kf And that is why those types of men don't learn and usually have many victims before they are discovered. They are usually surrounded by women who either look the other way, shush about them or attack and ostracize other women who want to speak. They are protected.
It always takes one bold person to expose them. I am happy to hear she was the bold person and didn't want to play the game of her friend of shushing about her harassing husband.
Hopefully he will have to learn to behave if he wants to go back to work. Although with the wife who provides a supportive environment for his actions and shifts the blame to her friend, I doubt this man can ever improve.
@@ASmith-jn7kf thats just sad lol. i hope ur doing okay in your life and feel safe and loved because if a MARRIED GROWN ASS MAN with CHILDREN told me something even slightly inappropriate, i would be running around telling everyone and reporting his sorry ass. the creepy, sexual comments rarely just stop at that. if not punished immediately, it usually turns into assault or harassment. her friend did the right thing.
@@ASmith-jn7kf she's probably minimizing what he actually said. Her friend didn't run and tell about a tiny joke. It was something wildly inappropriate and she didn't feel comfortable telling her friend. She knew her friend would excuse her husband.
@ASmith-jn7kfthat’s you. Most normal people don’t want men at work verbally assaulting them
He is a habitual cheater and he won't stop. You can ditch him or you can put blinders on and pretend it didn't happen. I don't even know why she called.
This isn't a mistake. This is a habit of repeated behaviors with a disinterest to change. Not good.
Instead of calling Dr. John, she should be packing her stuff.
😂😂😂
Please remember that you are a role model for your children, especially your daughters. I made the decision to leave when I realized that I would not allow my daughter to bring a man like her father home. Although I believe you should leave, I can’t make that decision for you. Dr. John is right. Forgiveness is for you. When I left my ex, I left him a five page letter telling him everything that I would not tolerate in future relationships. I also wished him the best for his future. Could I have sat in my anger and dwelled in my pain? Yes, but I don’t want to feel miserable all the time. I wish you the best of luck whatever decision you make.
I would not allow my daughter to bring a man like er father home. This !
My ex bf was reported for sexual harassment. In his late 50s he would put an arm around a coworker half his age. I can't believe I supported him. I later realized he was a cheater. That young woman was correct, and this old lady was wrong. One thing I like about younger generations is that people are willing to speak up. I was trained to brush it off. But looking back on all the decades of my adult life, I have never enjoyed having a man in a setting such as work telling me a d-ck joke. Never.
Same here. I was the wife. I was trained to rug sweep and believe it was all a joke.
If you gotta ask others, you know deep down you’re not leaving.
I understand the fear of separating and what it will do to the kids...but THIS, your current situation of abuse, is worse for them. You are teaching your kids that this treatment of you is OK. It will affect their future relationships!!! If you leave, you are teaching them that you being treated this way, ANYONE being treated this way is *not OK.* And that is such a valuable lesson to teach our kids!
You are worth so much more. You are worth being loved, protected, you're worth someone being loyal to you and your kids, you are worth being with someone who isn't a pervert and adult CHILD, you are worth being adored, delighted in, you are worth being with someone who is SAFE for you and your kids.
She is not being abused. That is their father and what he did and how he has been will already shape them her staying with him or not isn't going to change that. If he has a good relationship with the kids now that is in jeopardy because many people abandon the kids to hurt the spouse and their family, even messed up, is still a family.
Mental illness and lack of accountability , no fear of God, no respect for marriage. You leave your wife and children home, go to work to look for your daily bread and end up sexually harassing at your place of employment. Poor wife. If his wife did this, society would crucify her, call her names and write her off. Marriage is hard.
Marriage requires consistent work!
This is very sad! Yeah maybe he's silently victim of mental illness which his the demon hiding on his behavior make him doing something nonsense! Those people need God and prayers to become on their true self because they can't control themselves.
Definition of insanity is repeating the same action yet expecting a different result. NEVER TAKE A CHEATER BACK!
It’s very likely that this and the infidelity from 10 years ago are the only ones she knows of.. so sad. I hope she makes the right decision for her and her children.
The more I hear Dr. John flatly say “using her thighs as earmuffs”, the better it gets. Credit for maintaining a professional demeanor. I blushed just hearing it
Funny muff joke
That's such a gross unsexy thing to say. If someone said that to me I would just imagine them wearing fluffy ear muffs
@@snoozyq9576 so gross and juvenile. Would anyone wanna be with someone that lacking in intellect. Bloody cringe worthy.
😂😂😂
She has smoke for her friend but not her cheating husband...woman stay or leave but don't expect other people to enable his bs
She’s nasty omg
She stated that they both went to marriage counseling and that she also separately tried to work on herself (in therapy), but did her husband? This conversation points to that he did not. Erica, I hope you realize that he is not trying to work on himself and make himself better for your family and that you deserve someone who won't disrespect you like he is doing to you and your kids right now.
No, you can't trust him. You can never trust him. You never could. And people don't change (ever). I've never met anyone who changed. People may mellow over time, and they may give up some bad habits that are holding them back (but even that is rare). She has to decide if this is her life or not. I know quite a few people who just live with it and accept it. I guess they feel being alone is even worse.
I’ve met people who’ve changed, but this guy isn’t going to. Also, it seems to me (am only 40 next week) that people who change will only change for self - not others, and usually only after great loss or consequences. Her staying is enabling him, sadly.
There is zero chance he's not sleeping with people while he's working out of state. Zero.
It's so sad to hear people like this in unhappy marriages. Its heart breaking.
This situation isn’t going to change. Leave him!! And don’t look back, ever!
if anything, it'll only escalate
She can stay with him, but she will have to accept he does not possess the character that she wants and needs from a partner, and she's going to have to lower her expectations of him to zero. And no, he's not going to change anything after 24 years together, the pattern is set.
She doesn't need to set all her expectations to zero, just the ones about fidelity.
If she stays, she should just show him how easy it is for a woman to find new men. I’d be having a new, much younger male every single night of the week, and he could watch the kids whilst I traipse out the door in my high heels and party dress to meet the next man. That’s the only thing a chasing man would understand. Put him in your situation-alone and left at home with the kids. That’s what he doesn’t want.
@@ASmith-jn7kf Nah. This guy's recklessly irresponsible and is willing to risk his job, and with it his ability to support his family; he also harasses other women and lies about it (nobody gets fired for just one off-colour joke). He's basically a head case.
This is so awful. Please, caller, get OUT now! Please make a plan, grab your kids and leave. The longer you stay, the more he is going to understand that he can get away with anything and you will continue to stay.
Forgiveness IS for you. But it doesn't by ANY way mean that you have to stay and endure abuse.
You can forgive someone and not let them back in your life ♥️
If she accepts this what are her dealbreakers?deal breakers?? I mean...low self-esteem much?
Oh, that ship sailed over the current into the sea a decade ago. This is solely her self-esteem. He’s not going to change ‘cause he hasn’t been given a reason to
I dont even have to listen to the call. She should not forgive him. Period.
Her husband cheats on her and she has another baby? Very poor judgment IMO. Then he's fired for sexual harassment. He's a weak insecure "man" who doesn't respect women. She should divorce this loser ASAP.
She's not going to leave him the fear of doing it alone will keep her from leaving she just wanted to know if she could trust him ....no but you're going to stay anyway because a vision in your head of a relationship that could of been is what holds you on, no hate been in this situation but she didn't sound like she even wanted to leave I had to go through it enough times, it created an anger inside me I burned inside to do it alone.
It was hard soul destroying but the end results are so worth it.
What a sad call this is. Just for your own dignity, sweetheart, get out as soon as possible. 💔💔💔
Again? No. And sexual harassment? Hell no.
I’m sorry what? That’s not even cheating at that point, if he can’t keep it in his pants that bad that he gets FIRED! He might assault someone, guys with zero sexual self discipline are a danger
I hate listening to these indecisive people
This is him as a grown up and he will not "grow up" and change. If you are not happy in the situation, you need to leave.
Her husband will escalate on this. People dont change they get worse
WOOOOOOOOW "using her thighs as ear muffs" should have been directed at his wife, but yea I'm saving that one for the future
Was thinking the same thing!
@@David-wo9un 🤣 Have her giggling as anticipation builds
That’s an old one. Says the 67 yr old granny
@@xhaltsalute 🤣 4 realz though granny? When is the last time you heard it? That one is quite unique enough! I love the art of wooing a woman and being chivalrous and keeping it sustained.
Phrases like "It's so cold...maybe you could...warm me up" "your side looks better with me next to it" "the sun doesn't shine brighter than you" are more of the classics I know about
Please don’t. 🤮
Kids can tell when their parents are having a difficult time. Don't stay together for the sake of the kids. They will be resentful later. Divorce as soon as possible.
They will also resent the divorce
She's afraid to be on her own.
Oh I can't believe she's mad at her friend. When someone is being sexually inappropriate at work it makes everyone who hears it feel unsafe. I've been harassed at work. For them to actually fire him he posed a real physical threat to this woman or he has already been on probation at work for repeated offenses. Employers will absolutely not fire a man because he told an offcolor joke and one woman complained.
I feel for her. Her voice, and trying to hold it together. :(
Her story made me feel so heavy!!!
I really wish her the best and her children.
There is no coming back from this. He cheated and lied multiple times. Cut your losses
My husband got fired last year for sexual harassment. He acted like he was wronged rather than the one that did wrong. He lost his well paying job and now is making less than half of what he was that causes me great stress and angst and anger because he never apologized as he doesn't feel he did anything wrong. I told him you middle aged guys think it's a compliment to a young girl to be talked to like that but he just comes off as a disgusting, dirty old man. They deserve, both young women and men, to go out and earn a living without being treated so disrespectfully. I have difficulties with trust so I wasn't crippled with shock, just anger at his stupidity. There is no forgiveness because he feels he wasn't wrong, so he doesn't deserve it. And elephants wish they had my memory. I'm not one that believes forgiveness is necessary for healing, but that's my opinion. If I was that young girl I would have turned him in, I have my own zero tolerance policy.
"I have my own zero tolerance policy" and yet you still call him your husband??!! On top of that he's acting like a child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and believes it's the cookie jars fault he got caught.
I was feeling you until I got to the end; your hubby is a man child; you are stressed, angry, he holds no accountability and you have no forgiveness because he doesn't feel he is wrong WHY are you still with him???
Maybe she is getting her ducks in a row to divorce. Not every women is living as adult with the capacity to get out of a relationship overnight
@@2021noname and THIS is what can happen when woman don't have the capacity to make moves if and when they need to in order to preserve themselves and /or their childrens well-being- forced to marinate in toxic situations!
@@meancarleen yes it is. She’s stuck in the mud.
Using kids as an excuse to change.... Is sad. Your kids need to see that you're strong and you need to set an example to them if someone disrespects you. You do not stay with a cheater and sleazebag. He is a sleazebag.
She needs to leave him ASAP. Women have to stop enabling men with this horrible behavior.
My ex husband was a man whose ego was never complete without the prospect of another woman wanting to be in a relationship with him. I don't know how many times he truly crossed the intercourse line, but it's all more than anyone should have to wonder about every day. There are men who do not have that need. Create relationships with secure men.
Well said. Same.
Did she try to blame the friend? 😑
There are good guys like me that are single, looking for a good woman. Yet the good women are tied up with bad guys. Have some self worth and dignity. If you’re in a cheating relationship, get out of it. Get a man worth coming home to. If you’re going to carry his last name, and he is cheating on you, it’s time to make a change. Have some self worth and dignity
Is that you dave ?
These women always settle for the worse choice. Later they come back wanting you just because you can feed her kids. No chance
a lot of single women feel the same way, but they are over 30 or a few pounds overweight so the so-called good guys will be tied up with the bad girls who they're hot for.
she's been there for 24 years. she's not going anywhere. it's time for an open marriage. she should bring a fellow home and see how hubby takes it.
You CAN trust that you know who he is and what he’s going to do that.
He's a habitual cheater. How many times wasn't he caught? Now with someone half his age?
Sorry honey he's a creep.
Again and Again when is enough. Girl prepare yourself and be done with it!
He’s working away from home a lot… ya, he’s been cheating from the beginning! Time to make the separation permanent
Thank you Dr., for explaining to this woman how forgiveness truly works. That was the most important part of the betrayal there that needed to be talked about 👍🏻
He needs help. Counseling. Something. He has no self control. Imagine what he’s doing when he’s out alone somewhere like not at work where he’s probably not gonna get in trouble like on the street or grocery stores or whatever. Porn involved. This is the tip of the iceberg. I’m pretty sure . Gross.
Does he have girl children?
This was absolutely horrible to listen too. Poor lady. Jesus
People treat you how you ALLOW them.
He created a hostile work environment 💯. That will get you fired.
This wife is trying to shift accountability on the friend who told on him. No sweetheart, dont blame her, blame your cheating husband lmfao
I heard this from somewhere and find it would be helpful for this poor woman - "Don't keep collecting red flags." Losing this immature man as a husband is less of a problem than losing herself, which you can hear in her voice. Lose that mess of a spouse before you lose yourself.
He sounds like an immature cheater. Women who stay endure a lifelong of pain .
She's going to stay. Just tell him that you are staying for the kids. The marriage is now open. Keep it respectful and classy. Don't bring any of the extra martial sexual relationships into the home. While she waits until the kids are grown, she needs to get a career and prepare for the divorce.
this would work for a woman that is done in her heart but I heard it in her voice, she wants him to grow up and change. And he wont wait around for her to get it together an d not play wifey He will leave her
She shouldn't be raising her children in that atmosphere.
Crazy, looked a little deeper and realized it was my hometown
Listening to this I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My heart ❤️ goes out to you. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine Prayers that you find Peace and that you have the Strength to move on. Pray 🙏
She really thought she did something when she blamed the woman at work who was harassed.
I could not live with myself if I stayed with that guy. Girl, move on with your life.
Well she must be very strong then.
@ASmith-jn7kfno she’s miserable and insecure