I slept with my friends wife . She was just horny and we flirted a bit . Only happened once and we never spoke of it again. We still friends . I think I just feel sorry for my mate because there is no ways I was the only one .. he is still married so no harm done
She slept with your best friend and your co-worker, and your question is, "Is it over?" Are you serious??? Sir, please respect yourself and let this woman go. Get good evidence of her cheating. It'd be helpful in your divorce. Edit: And get rid of those fake "friends" in your circle!!!
Came here to say that. Just asking that question tells me why she even did him dirty and with the person she did in the first place. She doesn’t respect him because he allows it
@@heatherchandler1184this is such a bad take. It is not his fault. He doesn’t allow anything. You can try to control every bit of the situation, be the perfect husband, etc, and your partner will still cheat if she wants to. He didn’t allow anything to happen.
She IS the streets.😅 I mean I don't condone cheating of any kind but how you gonna cheat with your man's best friend and his coworker? It just doesn't get any more red light district than that..😢 it's not even funny actually, it's really just sad. I have no words.
@@CrystalM1917 amen sister. Amen ..you failed to mention it appears she cheated with his co worker years later after the affair one of the groomsman in their wedding where it was mentioned he was one of his best friends, which is usually when one is invited into a wedding party…she is a b.. or a c.. your choice
Not only is she a serial cheater but she chooses to cheat with his friends. This is beyond cruel. He needs to get custody of the kids and get as far away from her as possible.
Too bad he’ll probably not get full custody. It’ll be a tough battle as a man who works as a wild life biologist … he’ll most likely get shared custody. He’s got a tough life ahead of him
Don't go back to her. Sounds like she has been cheating for a while and the fact that you even entertained that idea, she knows she can always come back to you as a back up plan. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Also, get a DNA test for those kids.
He definitely needs to get this kids tested especially the youngest and the oldest because if she cheated on him around the time of conception with both of them oh he's going to be destroyed.
She’s def not done riding the carousel. This is a friendly reminder to men that she is not your wife. It is just your turn. Oh, and I agree about the kids thing. Get those kids tested asap. At this point, I’m willing to bet he’s probably not even straight, not that there’s anything wrong with same-sex marriages ‘cause there isn’t.
@@katrina3560 let’s be real though: anything and everything is a possibility right now. She clearly hasn’t gotten the fun out of her system, she has unresolved trauma, and those kids are probably not his. So yeah, the possibility of her getting ran through by women IS on the table. She’s destructive and this guy is honestly a wuss.
35 year old woman tearing up at this man’s situation here. Brutal. He sounds so compassionate, responsible, humble and smart. Give that love to a woman and friends who deserve it
Yeah she is and his friends are too. Sounds like he has no one he can trust. I feel like John should befriend him off the air so they can go deer hunting together for real. 😢
@@CrystalM1917 He has made it clear therapists need to have distinct boundaries between professional and personal relationships; the professional relationship, although brief, has started.
It always happens to good people. I stopped being the doormat when I turned 25 and although I'm not liked by many, I love myself and the person that I am is someone I respect. I also attract less terrible people.
Being a doormat doesn't make you "good", I'd say it's the opposite - the doormat is incapable of standing up for himself. The doormat is too naive to be anything but a doormat. He is not formidable and makes the choice to be good, he is not proficient with a sword and makes the conscious choice to keep it sheathed. This man is not "good", he is naive.
I hope the caller reads this... The best thing I did for my kids was leaving a marriage that was teaching them it's okay to tolerate cheating, being treated horribly, and not being in a partnership where each person gives 100%! The kids adapt! You will teach them how they should be treated by their future wife and how they should be treated by their future husband. Good luck to you!
The best thing that ever happened to our family was my parents divorcing. Removing us from an unsafe, unhealthy environment was the best thing my mother ever did for us (and she is an incredible mom). Our lives improved 2000% after that. People give divorce a bad rep, but it is sometimes the only thing that can save a family and especially the children.
@@Alora6515I always wished my parents divorced (i would advise them to do so since I was able to cognitively formulate a strong case for it around 10 years old) Sadly their toxic relationship persevered til today. Things have gotten better but their approach with one another and in general has room for improvement. I grew up acting as the families uncertified therapist and resented them for it for many years. I have 2 brothers- My middle brother learned so many maladaptive behaviors from my parents that I know it’s hard for him to foster healthy relationships with a significant other. Both brothers don’t have a relationship with one another and seem to be in competition with each other since I can remember. One is passive and the other aggressive about it. It sucks and I resent my parents for all of it. My mother is selfish and I cringe at how she navigates herself and see how she uses every opportunity for her own benefit. I struggle with this learned behavior too watch myself to not be this way. My father was physically, verbally aggressive and often overcompensated for his shortcomings when he wasn’t neurotic. Today they recognize that they didn’t do things the right way and wished they could turn back the hands of time.
@@jet4415 100%. I feel so bad. He needs new friends too. I hope he kicks all of those lowlifes to the curb, focuses on his career and kids, and eventually meets someone much better.
This woman has gaslit this man so hard he's thinking of staying. I loved what John said, "Thie first confession was practice to see if she could get away with it".
@@johnsmith-kt7efThe separation was her idea. The first confession from back when they first got married was her justification to get out of the house so she could screw his friend in peace. Then when found out she was doing that, she then confessed to a long affair with his friend, but continued even after telling him about it. Unforgivable in my book.
You answered that question perfectly John. That woman is vile. That man is still painting a picture of a perfect family. I hope he left that marriage in the history books.
He’s really asking that question? I feel so terrible for him, how can someone stoop so low to cheat on their spouse with the best friend. That’s a whole level of nasty.
a woman who does this to her guy even once... has zero respect for him and never will. any guy in this situation should leave ASAP or at the very least do their own thing if they want to stay in the house for kids sake.
There's a part of your brain that doesn't want to accept that your entire world just broke. He wants to go back to where she wasn't a cheater and their family was together and everything was okay. It's the bargaining stage of grief, or maybe denial.
I’ve been cheated on once and unfortunately it was with the only girl I ever saw myself marrying. Even then, I still wanted to be with her, but you have to follow your brain and not your heart. If she cheats once, she’ll cheat again. Fast forward months later, I ran into her at a bar. She was with the guy she cheated on me with. Later that night, she texted me asking if I wanted to hook up. Completely lost what little respect I had left for her. Right then and there, I knew her cheating on me was a blessing in disguise.
Men have to start learning that women use their body to secure a relationship. If she’s giving her body to another man she most definitely is trying to secure the next move. She’s hoping the guy catches feelings and wants to accept her in. Sounds like the guy was using her for sex and now doesn’t want anything to do with her so she wants mister reliable back. This poor guy has to kick her to the streets.
Holy heck that got me.... that guy was so heart broken... you could tell John was hurting for him too.... with 3 kids under 5?... man... she nuked her own family
@@alluringbliss4165 She pretty much lacks everything except for dicks inside of her. Poor guy. I've been cheated on before like this too, but thankfully it was when I was young without kids.
This is a sad story. It’s a parent’s job to model for their children what a healthy, respectful, loving relationship is. Sometimes that means walking away from an unhealthy, disrespectful, unloving relationship. I hope this man gets the strength to walk away.
@@greenAbbot There are many reasons why people stay , the most common ones tend to be religion and financial status or the economy in which the person lives in. I grew up in an underdeveloped country, there were no options for women beside living with their husbands. I grew up in that type of environment.
Beyonce..whose worth billions of dollars continue to stay with her cheating husband. He cheated on her multiple times with multiple women, and she's a pop star yet she chose to stay with a cheater. Same thing with Cardi B. She's worth millions of dollars yet continues to stay with her cheating husband who cheated on her multiple times. Money is not an issue for these two ladies yet they stay.
Having children with a narcissist messes up your whole life, to the point where you can't even think straight. No matter what you do, the children lose. I sympathize with this man.
I agree with Johns advice here. When it comes to cheating it’s never ok, but there are levels to it, there is no “momentary lapse of judgement” when it comes to cheating with your husbands BEST FRIEND. That is vile and heartless on every level, it’s very cold and calculating, the woman sounds like a true narcissist
There are no ‘levels’ of it, cheating is NEVER a mistake. The process of cheating takes several conscious CHOICES. Only simps and weak men try and explain it away by applying the word mistake to it or implying that adultery isn’t a conscious betrayal that is never acceptable. A man that ‘forgives’ cheating will lose the respect of the cheater even more. Always, every time, regardless of the details, leave a cheater.
@@barryc9115 She explicitly said cheating is never ok. She is 100% right that there are levels to it. Example A: getting drunk at your friend's bachelorette party and making out with some guy at a bar. Example B: having a long-term relationship with your family member...... do you really think those two are the same level? Once again, not asking if either is okay - they aren't - but one is 10x worse than the other.
@@johnsmith-kt7efnfortunately the courts are gynocentric, as is every institution in the U.S. today. That useless 304 will get primary custody, alimony, and half of his stuff and all the hormonal and neurotic feminists will cheer her on.
Man this is the first time I heard Jon say it done, legit the first time. I’d run for the hills my guy. The fact that she keeps doing it HER BEHAVIOR IS SHOWING THAT SHE TRULY DOES NOT CARE AT ALL. I’m so so sorry 😢
Poor guy!! He had a fight with his parents... then lost his wife and 2 good friends!!! You deserve way better fam. I hope you heal and come back from this ❤️
He had an argument with his parents about his wife. Pretty sure because they knew she was unfaithful. Lost the friends because she was unfaithful with them.
We always hear John tell people to call him back with updates later to work through the next steps, but we hardly ever hear the updates. I would love to hear a follow up on this 6 months to a year down the line.
I have commented in the past how I thought JD puts too much blame on the man when things go sideways in the relationship. I commend him for calling out the wife’s behavior and even letting Isaac know she is unlikely to change. This was a great response to an awful situation.
Sorry to tell you this but the science shows it usually is the mans fault. Even the bible says this. If a man is to lead his wife, than everything she does is because he led her there. If she has an affair, its because he led her there with poor leadership. Many people will say "oh but thats just in the bible". Well no, we see this when we look at evolutionary behavior. Women bond very hard, very quickly after one sexual encounter with a man. This is to ensure the survival of the children. Most women who cheat, do it because they arent getting their needs met. So if we look at it under the lense of human behavior, this means the man is a weak learder and has shown his mate he is not the best fit to ensure her children thrive, so she gets the desire to find a better mate and potential father for the children. To be honest, i actually blame feminism because it has clearly made men weak leaders. We see that couples who have a trad marriage are much happier and trad wives normally stay faithful because they feel secure. They feel they have a strong man who will always lead them down the right path, and more importantly, they feel their husband will raise strong children. Soft men create soft men and women with psychological issues. So if a man wants to ensure he isnt cheated on, he needs to be a strong leader who shows love to his family. If he can do that, any woman will stay faithful.
This call was so clear cut, Delony couldn't defend the woman this time. If he did, he knew it'll show blatant bias and he knew he would lose any last shred of credibility he has left. That's why he didn't defend the woman...this time.
I think the same thing. He doesn’t hold women accountable as much as men . Society it’s let doesn’t hold women accountable.therefore, women themselves for the most part don’t hold themselves accountable.
Exact situation was with my cousin and his ex wife. He worked hard all day and left her "alone", and instead of being grateful for a 6 figure salary she cheated on him with his best friend. Destroyed him both mentally and physically, he didnt deserve it hes a great dude. Fast forward 10 years, his daughter just changed her name legally to his old best friends last name....his ex wife and best friend are married and have been living together ever since. They now have 3 kids in their household including my cousins daughter. Apparently the daughter was forced to have her name changed as she was crying to my cousin(her father) that her mom lied to her.
@@hillarybillary21 lol I bet you think women who get abused and beat up by their husbands "chose poorly" and are "not victims". How dare people be hurt by someone they trusted. The audacity.
No, he needs to move on from her. He deserves so much better. She has humiliated this man by using anybody close to him for her own sick pleasure. I don't know how this guy isn't furious telling this story.
Someone who would do that to you doesn’t love or respect you. Have some self respect & leave for Godsakes. The fact he’s even considering staying absolutely BLOWS my mind
Uuummm... so... he can't trust his wife around his friends and can't trust his friends around his wife. if they have kids, he needs to get DNA tests done. 😢
@@rebeccashields9626 it would be good for him to know, and for the kids to eventually know if he is NOT their father. Secrets like that always come out, and in the worst way, it would be better for them just to find out asap and deal with it. It should not affect his getting custody of them, cause once he signed their birth certificates, by law he's their father. But... if there arises any health issues with the kids, it would be beneficial for them to know their biological family background.
@@mrskitty7929 I would hope that any man facing this situation would determine if the children are his. Even though he signed the birth certificate and they’re not his. He can pay child support and wash his hands clean of everyone and move forward on his own.
„It seems impossible to not be done“ I know exactly what that feels like. When you would do all you can to make this work but the other person is creating a situation where you would have to give up all your self-respect and intelligence to fool yourself into the relationship again
@@brightpage1020and he's so nice / naïve he didn't question their biological link. Those children might not even be his yet he's tolerating things he wouldn't otherwise. Sounds like a good dude tho, wishing him the best.
@@dantouneto maybe he knows they're his. All my kids came out looking exactly like their dad. It doesn't happen that way for everyone but the resemblance was so clear to all the family at the hospital visiting and all the nurses and docs who delivered them. 2/3 still look more like hubby 5-10 yrs later. Happened to one of my sisters, too. All her kids came out looking like different versions of their dad. The other sister's kids half looked like her more, but the resemblance is still clear and almost uncanny. Maybe that'why he doesn't question. Sometimes you really can tell and it's 'that clear. Not every time...
Everytime you accept her back after she cheats, she loses respect for you. You allowing this is a reflection of the lack of self respect you have in yourself. She knows this. She's addicted to the thrill of disrespecting you.
I’ve never cheated. I’ve been cheated on. It really hurts. My husband’s best friend tried to get me to have an affair with him before we were married. It was a real shock when he told me he was attracted to me and wanted an affair. When I said no he told me not to tell my husband we could just forget it. I said no way was I going to lie and pretend he was anything but a backstabbing POS.
I did once, almost 2 decades ago now, when I was young and dumb, and I can confirm it's the ugliest thing in the world. I never ever fully forgave myself for the hurt I caused, I left as he deserved better. I don't regret leaving as we married young and grew apart, but I bitterly regret the affair and the pain it caused. After that I remarried and despite my second marriage being abusive and miserable at times, and having multiple opportunities to default to that behaviour, I never did. In fact I put up with over a decade of crap I wouldn't usually tolerate, because part of me felt like I deserved it and that was my karma. My ex even sat me down once and said - stop punishing yourself, let it go, I forgave you years ago. Then I said - but I didn't. It took about 13 years before I felt like - ok, enough, I've served my time, lesson learned. We are rare, but we exist ✌🏻
TO EVERYONE- if a spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, cheat, you have to get rid of them there’s no other way they will never respect you, and as you might like to forgive, you will never be able to forget just like a criminal who never gets caught keeps committing crimes until they get caught you have to dump this person, and find somebody else to save your self-respect
Isaac!! You DESERVE BETTER! There are women out there who would love you as you deserve. Your wife has NO REGARD for you whatsoever! You will definitely go thru this again if you stick with her. I truly wish you the best! ❤
Why is it that the worst people end up with the best people? 😅 obviously she must be beautiful for him to have married her bc her character ain't it. 😮 but there are plenty of pretty women out here....on the inside too.
This one was hard to listen to. The pain and absolute gut wrenching sadness in the callers voice was heartbreaking. His wife has literally broken him down to nothing and it honestly makes me so mad how people can do that to one another. Caller needs to move on to better things and ditch those assholes he called friends and to never get back with his wife… once a cheater always a cheater, and she’s already cheated on him three times. She’ll do it again if she had the chance, the only difference is she’ll be a whole lot more careful to not get caught…
Isaac genuinely sounds like a sweet person who has been screwed over. With everything that has happened he's still talking about how blessed he is with good people in his life. I wish him all of the best and hope he finds the strength to move on from this hot mess.
You deserve better my dude! You know what you need to do! Lots of women cherish good men. You do you and be good to your kids. First time shame you, second time shame on me!
I’m sorry bro, it’s a wrap. She cheated not once, but twice, with people who you called friends. She has no respect for you. You have to walk away. It won’t be the last time she cheats. Because now she knows it’s always something you will forgive because she’s already taken it about as far as it can go and you’re still considering it Another thing, she flat out admitted to you she cheated while asking you for a breakup. She doesn’t want you. You’re the last option. The fall back plan. Whatever she has going on isn’t working and now she wants to turn back to you as the last resort. Don’t give in to it. Don’t be anyone’s second option. As a man you can’t be that if you ever want to be respected in your relationship.
I feel so sorry for this dude. He sounds like a great, humble guy. She's running him over like a steamroller. Horrible, but different if no kids involved. He will find a good woman, because he has a good soul. The fact that kids are involved really pisses me off.
It's over. If the guy can't learn to accept the fact his wife had never loved or respected him and can't find the courage to leave after what she put him through then nobody can help him. He has to do this on his own.
One affair and it's over for me no matter what I did. There's no such thing as a mistake when it comes to having an affair. I've been very clear about this in my relationship. This poor guy.
Get the best attorney you can, visit others so she can't use them in the divorce, and go for full custody. She's checked out of this relationship a while ago.
As horrible as she is, some states don’t care if a parent behaves badly. They do care if the parent is abusive or neglectful. Getting full custody doesn’t mean she can’t see them if she wanted to. A “good” lawyer in 2024 can cost between $150k - $200k depending on how complicated your case is. Should never use children as a weapon to get back at your spouse. It never worked.
Not only is she cheating, but she’s cheating with his close friends?! Sounds like she’s trying to hurt him. I’m really curious going on on her side. Either way, let her go.
John first starting the show: “I think y’all can save this!” John now: “Sounds like you’re done, man.” I approve. So many of these callers call in with marriages falling apart and zero respect from their spouses and sometimes it’s best & healthiest to just move on instead of staying in the cycle of dishonesty and toxicity. I’m happy that John, while always compassionate and supportive, is starting to see that too. There have been a few calls where he’s advised a ton of effort and therapy and work for the caller when it really seems like it won’t end well no matter what they do.
My husband’s best friend admitted a crush on me and asked me to have an affair with him. I was completely blindsided. Took me two days to tell my husband(then live in boyfriend, we hadn’t married yet). I didn’t think he would believe me. He had been friends with this guy for years before we even met. I told him when he wanted to invite his friend over for dinner. I told him I didn’t want to be around him and why. He believed me, but was in disbelief, if that makes sense. So I talked to the best friend again to get clarification on what he wanted exactly and recorded the conversation. I also confronted his friend on how awful he was and told him I was telling my man. He told me I was ruining everything, just let it go. I said if I pretended like he was my husband’s friend then I would be just as bad as he was. I can’t lie to him like that. I certainly can’t stand by while a back stabbing a-hole like him was anywhere near my husband. I left and gave the recording to my man. I felt really bad, because he’s a good man. He deserved so much better from a friend that he would have done anything for.
Maybe I allow motherhood to restrict my life more than other moms but HTF did she even find the time and energy to engage in such extracurricular activity any way?🤔
I agree there is a decent chance the kids may not be his, but it isn't the kid's fault. Just because they don't belong to him doesn't mean he doesn't love the kids. In a way, if I were him I don't know if I would want to know.
@victornieves1794 I don’t have high hopes that the man willing to cheat with a married woman is prime father material . I could be wrong just saying .Kids do have the right to know their biological parents but sometimes there is a price to pay of putting up with a lot of adult drama.
@victornieves1794 The difference I would see that as bad as her behavior was she is the only mother they have . Her husband is a proven good father . The bio dad has no track record ,but his pedigree is shaky. I don’t pretend to know the right answer to their mess ,I just think a good father takes priority over a chance sperm donor .
I like to say, when people show you who they are, you best ‘be leavin’ them’. Cheating on you with one of your own groomsman?! That’s a dagger in the heart. Neither of them deserve you and truthfully if one of your closest friends does that to you with your new ‘best friend til death’, that shows people close to you care more about themselves than they care about you. God that sucks.
Once can be forgiven. Twice is the last straw. Three times is gone. Dr. Delony is one amazing man. I am continued to be blown away by how sensitive and firm he is and so respectful
So she should be forgiven for cheating with her husband’s best friend? That’s forgivable to you? I have a doormat I can sell to you with your name on it.
If he were calling John after being cheated on once and still trying to work it out, then yes, he might be "precious." Now he's just contemptible. And I'm sure his "best friend," his wife, his co-worker, and half the neighborhood feel the same way.
He is a really upstanding man but it's time to hold onto his self respect now and leave. Even if some of all of the kids aren't his, he will likely continue the duty of a father to them based on the kind of man he is. This is really sad. I'm appalled as a wife that she displayed these kind of characteristics. I don't even have time to cheat even if I wanted to. I have too many responsibilities as a mother and wife. It baffles me. I guess you make time for whats important to you. Sheesh.....😢
A wife is someone who would say, "hi my love, I know John is your best friend, and it pains me to tell you tried to make a move on me". A friend is someone who would say, "I'm sorry to have to tell you buddy, but Sarah tried to make a move on me, and thought you should know". They would help you weed out toxic people from your life. Instead, they were complicit in hurting you. Please get rid of all three, you deserve respect, and the first person who should give it to you is yourself.
No two different best friends and I guarantee you she cheated on him with the first one during the first couple of years of their relationship and during the first couple of years of their marriage. I would not be surprised if their oldest is the best friend's child and their youngest is the other best friend's child
@BIGEAGLEDUDE ohhhhh wow... I definitely concur with her kids because nine times outta ten, she more than likely told her husband the babies are his, not knowing if those children were the cause of those affairs...I truly hope he get a DNA test smfh
@@NenaVA1 he needs it more than he knows. But he doesn't want to do it because it's bad enough to his wife cheated to have the thought of his three kids particularly his youngest and his oldest not being biologically his will scare the crap out of him
He also needs to find a new best friend. My gut tells me he’s the ‘nice guy’ she went with but she was looking around for someone else the whole time. He needs to ditch her permanently
He sounds very codependent and low self esteem. She's just reaffirming it for him and that's what he likes. He needs to get therapy on his childhood wounds.
Don't go back man. Your wife and "friends" seem to have no respect for you sadly. Not sure what you're day to day life is back, but no one deserves that. You're a backup to her fantasies with other men--so when they don't work out she comes back to you for stability. Some serious boundaries would have to be set just like Dr. John said to even consider it--and I doubt she'd be up for it either. Basically, no private phone to start would just be one.
Someone very close to me who experienced something similar told me its harder to leave than it is to just accept it and stay, hope this dude gets the strength to move on
Once, with grief, repentance, and accountability, I would try to work it out. Twice? She is a serial cheater and the marriage is destroyed. And she did this with small children? What a selfish person!!!
Number 1. Cheating =Never right. Ever Number 2. Those "friends" were enemy's the second you met them you just didnt know because predators hide in plain sight Number 3. Of ALL the people to cheat on your spouse with you pick friends and co workers, twice? Thats totally deliberate Tell her goodbye. Or be petty and say bad bye
I'm sorry but if your wife cheats with your best friend. Divorce the wife, get a DNA test for the kids, and ghost the "Best Friend" they are both garbage.
Behavior is a language (as John says) and she has spoken LOUD AND CLEAR as to who she is at her core. Isaac, she will cheat again. Full stop. You are teaching your kids that if their future spouse cheats on them, they should go back over and over and just _take it._ Please run, brother. This will cause you nothing but pain and heartache. You are worth so much more than this crap!! There are good, healthy women out there.....get some healing from what you've been through, set boundaries, work on your self esteem and then look for someone who's safe ❤
Divorce her, dude. You and she can politely co-parent, but your heart will become free from constant pain and will heal. You don't need her, and can find a better woman.
The problem , Mr caller , is that the moment you forgive her again she is going to lose any residuary respect for you . And you and her may feel that she won’t cheat on you again but it is going to happen as there is something fundamentally wrong here. Dr John is right. You need to choose you and your kids and get out of this bad marriage. It’s scary but essential. I hope you make the right choice.
I have never wanted somebody to walk away so badly before. Clearly this is a top class dude and some people see that as something to take advantage of. But it is so freaking sad that there are people like her in this world who are happy to keep harming somebody who has been top qualify this entire time. I genuinely hurt for him that his wife could be so damn cruel that she didn’t need to just cheat on him but she openly chose to cheat on him with two of his closest friends. That isn’t something that can be understood or rationalized because that isn’t just infidelity which is never right but we can normally get ourselves to understand how someone could make that decision and even if we disagree with it at least carry ourselves to a point where there’s some minimum stage of understanding. It is so heart breaking that she apparently doesn’t need to simply be unfaithful, which destroys his entire ability to openly trust any romantic partner as his life lives forward, but multiples that by levels because not only did she destroy that but her choice to pursue his close friends have also really hurt any ability trust in that regard too. And sadly he is nothing but kindness around this as he loves her so much he is still struggling that through all of this he still deeply wants to make it work when he should be exploding backstage. And it’s disgusting that she openly hurts him like this. She is clearly vile and I genuinely hope that gets all that she rightfully deserves in her life to match the way she treats people. But I also hope for people to stop trying to shame him as he struggles through this. He absolutely should send her walking and avoid interacting with her at any length outside of the bare minimum. But he is clearly a top quality human being. He never really rips her apart, takes full accountability for flaws in their marriage and did everything he reasonably can to save their marriage even after learning of the infidelity and she decided shortly after to cheat again with another close friend and even now he still hurts with the reality that he needs to walk away. And through all of that storm he’s continued caring for his kids, he is clearly a very positive person, and cares for the needs of your children and continue to generate revenue for the forward running future. I wish I could be his friend and show him that the way he got treated is not everybody and be the friend that he deserves.
A true friend would never sleep with his friends girl. If he does he's no friend.
Fr. I get grossed out even thinking about it.
Even if they were strangers this shouldn't be okay.
100 percent facts
💯💯💯
I slept with my friends wife . She was just horny and we flirted a bit . Only happened once and we never spoke of it again. We still friends . I think I just feel sorry for my mate because there is no ways I was the only one .. he is still married so no harm done
My heart goes out to this man. Forty years later I am still filled with anger, mistrust, and anxiety. DNA tests required.
Married with Kids at one point? What is your story?
the kids arent his
What happened?
LET IT GO ! Don’t let the ego destroy your life. Life is short .
YES ASK FR DNA TEST
And the friends didn’t tell him either???? He needs to control+alt+delete everyone in his life except the kids at this point
pending a dna test maybe the kids
Or tell the friends wives
That part. Wtf type of people are you around
Maybe he is one of those nice people who sees the best in everyone and got taken advantage of.
Baffling.
She slept with your best friend and your co-worker, and your question is, "Is it over?" Are you serious??? Sir, please respect yourself and let this woman go. Get good evidence of her cheating. It'd be helpful in your divorce.
Edit: And get rid of those fake "friends" in your circle!!!
It is unbelievable how pathetic some people are. It almost makes me think he has a humiliation fetish or something honestly
Came here to say that. Just asking that question tells me why she even did him dirty and with the person she did in the first place. She doesn’t respect him because he allows it
He needs to drop that zero and get him a hero, maury!!!!
He doesnt respect himself so she commits betrayal. Yall woman dont fear hell anymore. Islam will be savage @heatherchandler1184
@@heatherchandler1184this is such a bad take. It is not his fault. He doesn’t allow anything. You can try to control every bit of the situation, be the perfect husband, etc, and your partner will still cheat if she wants to. He didn’t allow anything to happen.
She belongs to the streets
She belongs to the group chat.
She IS the streets.😅 I mean I don't condone cheating of any kind but how you gonna cheat with your man's best friend and his coworker? It just doesn't get any more red light district than that..😢 it's not even funny actually, it's really just sad. I have no words.
@@CrystalM1917 amen sister. Amen ..you failed to mention it appears she cheated with his co worker years later after the affair one of the groomsman in their wedding where it was mentioned he was one of his best friends, which is usually when one is invited into a wedding party…she is a b.. or a c.. your choice
You are correct Sir
😅😅😅
Not only is she a serial cheater but she chooses to cheat with his friends. This is beyond cruel. He needs to get custody of the kids and get as far away from her as possible.
Plus paternity test if he chooses to know full truth
Too bad he’ll probably not get full custody. It’ll be a tough battle as a man who works as a wild life biologist … he’ll most likely get shared custody. He’s got a tough life ahead of him
Why would he need to get custody of the kids, just because you cheat it don’t make you an unfit parent. It’s horrible yes but cmon bro.
And take the kids with him for a new beginning
How can any man want to take a cheating woman back the first time with anyone let alone a best friend. Beyond me
Don't go back to her. Sounds like she has been cheating for a while and the fact that you even entertained that idea, she knows she can always come back to you as a back up plan. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Also, get a DNA test for those kids.
100% get your kids tested. This women is evil
He definitely needs to get this kids tested especially the youngest and the oldest because if she cheated on him around the time of conception with both of them oh he's going to be destroyed.
She’s def not done riding the carousel. This is a friendly reminder to men that she is not your wife. It is just your turn. Oh, and I agree about the kids thing. Get those kids tested asap. At this point, I’m willing to bet he’s probably not even straight, not that there’s anything wrong with same-sex marriages ‘cause there isn’t.
@@katrina3560 let’s be real though: anything and everything is a possibility right now. She clearly hasn’t gotten the fun out of her system, she has unresolved trauma, and those kids are probably not his. So yeah, the possibility of her getting ran through by women IS on the table. She’s destructive and this guy is honestly a wuss.
@@wordsalad01 oh, I never said it guarantees child support payments, lol. It only guarantees the father of the children.
35 year old woman tearing up at this man’s situation here. Brutal. He sounds so compassionate, responsible, humble and smart. Give that love to a woman and friends who deserve it
Give it to the kids. Mom is dangerous. At the rate of intimate partners the mom is having, I think her kids could be abused by one of those partners.
He needs to take a DNA test for those kids! He’s way too good for her. She cheated not once but twice with your good friends. She’s trash!!!
The so called friends are trash too .
They're no friends.
Yeah she is and his friends are too. Sounds like he has no one he can trust. I feel like John should befriend him off the air so they can go deer hunting together for real. 😢
Facts! She on some BS
@@CrystalM1917 He has made it clear therapists need to have distinct boundaries between professional and personal relationships; the professional relationship, although brief, has started.
It always happens to good people. I stopped being the doormat when I turned 25 and although I'm not liked by many, I love myself and the person that I am is someone I respect. I also attract less terrible people.
It's better that way, trust me.
I am still a doormat at 52. I am at the point to never want to be around PEOPLE again.
Being a doormat doesn't make you "good", I'd say it's the opposite - the doormat is incapable of standing up for himself. The doormat is too naive to be anything but a doormat. He is not formidable and makes the choice to be good, he is not proficient with a sword and makes the conscious choice to keep it sheathed. This man is not "good", he is naive.
Cheating is bad enough. Cheating with someone the other partner knows and trusts is sociopathic imo. 😵💫
she did this multiple times btw...
A woman (or man) like that has zero respect for boundaries.
She's for the god damn streets
legit
All these guys you hear about taking their families out.. the news never reports *why*…
I hope the caller reads this...
The best thing I did for my kids was leaving a marriage that was teaching them it's okay to tolerate cheating, being treated horribly, and not being in a partnership where each person gives 100%!
The kids adapt! You will teach them how they should be treated by their future wife and how they should be treated by their future husband.
Good luck to you!
The best thing that ever happened to our family was my parents divorcing. Removing us from an unsafe, unhealthy environment was the best thing my mother ever did for us (and she is an incredible mom). Our lives improved 2000% after that. People give divorce a bad rep, but it is sometimes the only thing that can save a family and especially the children.
Same here! Best decision ever. Kids need stability and love. A cheating household is not the place for children to learn values and love.
@@Alora6515I always wished my parents divorced (i would advise them to do so since I was able to cognitively formulate a strong case for it around 10 years old) Sadly their toxic relationship persevered til today. Things have gotten better but their approach with one another and in general has room for improvement. I grew up acting as the families uncertified therapist and resented them for it for many years. I have 2 brothers- My middle brother learned so many maladaptive behaviors from my parents that I know it’s hard for him to foster healthy relationships with a significant other. Both brothers don’t have a relationship with one another and seem to be in competition with each other since I can remember. One is passive and the other aggressive about it. It sucks and I resent my parents for all of it. My mother is selfish and I cringe at how she navigates herself and see how she uses every opportunity for her own benefit. I struggle with this learned behavior too watch myself to not be this way. My father was physically, verbally aggressive and often overcompensated for his shortcomings when he wasn’t neurotic. Today they recognize that they didn’t do things the right way and wished they could turn back the hands of time.
The best friend kicked her to the curb and now she wants to come back to her safe guy.
That's exactly what I thought, too
And she realizes her net worth will likely go down a ton by divorcing her husband.
@@Hiker2110 He’s a wildlife biologist, her lifestyle would go way downhill.
@@jet4415 100%. I feel so bad. He needs new friends too. I hope he kicks all of those lowlifes to the curb, focuses on his career and kids, and eventually meets someone much better.
@@jet4415unless she wins alimony, which is very likely these days even if she cheated... Twice. The justice system is so screwed up.
My Wife Cheated With My Best Friend (Is It Over?) YES IT'S OVER ! AND HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND AND SHE'S NOT EITHER !
This woman has gaslit this man so hard he's thinking of staying. I loved what John said, "Thie first confession was practice to see if she could get away with it".
Omg. That's just sick!
ya before she brought up the first separation in october she was already cheating again...
We call this type of gyaldem a jezebel
@@johnsmith-kt7efThe separation was her idea. The first confession from back when they first got married was her justification to get out of the house so she could screw his friend in peace. Then when found out she was doing that, she then confessed to a long affair with his friend, but continued even after telling him about it. Unforgivable in my book.
You answered that question perfectly John. That woman is vile. That man is still painting a picture of a perfect family. I hope he left that marriage in the history books.
He’s really asking that question? I feel so terrible for him, how can someone stoop so low to cheat on their spouse with the best friend. That’s a whole level of nasty.
MULTIPLE TIMES WITH MULTIPLE GOOD FRIENDS!!
I think some people are naive and try to justify bc of kids 🤷🏻♂️
Are you kidding? Happens quite often.
a woman who does this to her guy even once... has zero respect for him and never will. any guy in this situation should leave ASAP or at the very least do their own thing if they want to stay in the house for kids sake.
There's a part of your brain that doesn't want to accept that your entire world just broke. He wants to go back to where she wasn't a cheater and their family was together and everything was okay. It's the bargaining stage of grief, or maybe denial.
I’ve been cheated on once and unfortunately it was with the only girl I ever saw myself marrying. Even then, I still wanted to be with her, but you have to follow your brain and not your heart. If she cheats once, she’ll cheat again. Fast forward months later, I ran into her at a bar. She was with the guy she cheated on me with. Later that night, she texted me asking if I wanted to hook up. Completely lost what little respect I had left for her. Right then and there, I knew her cheating on me was a blessing in disguise.
Whew! That was a close call. Thanks your lucky stars my friend!
Evidently variety is the spice of life, at least for her...
She's living it up!
I wish this guy could respect himself more than he does. Please man, don’t get back with her! What you put up with is what you stand for.
Correct.
Powerful statement "what you put up with is what you stand for".
Men have to start learning that women use their body to secure a relationship. If she’s giving her body to another man she most definitely is trying to secure the next move. She’s hoping the guy catches feelings and wants to accept her in. Sounds like the guy was using her for sex and now doesn’t want anything to do with her so she wants mister reliable back. This poor guy has to kick her to the streets.
She is a master manipulator
@@snsn7251 Sounds more like she's his first and he lets her get away with blue murder. Hate to see it.
If your best friend sleeps with your wife, he was never your friend to begin with.
Exactly. These "friends" are also guilty!
Absolutely
That woman lacks integrity, morals, good character. Free her up Isaac. Let her go be with her man. They are two of a kind.
Holy heck that got me.... that guy was so heart broken... you could tell John was hurting for him too.... with 3 kids under 5?... man... she nuked her own family
Run, run, run. She lacks empathy. She will always choose herself over anyone else. You definitely need new friends too.
She also lacks integrity
@@alluringbliss4165 She pretty much lacks everything except for dicks inside of her. Poor guy. I've been cheated on before like this too, but thankfully it was when I was young without kids.
Heck no, hell no, and don’t even think about it. If you get back together, then you can only blame yourself.
This is a sad story.
It’s a parent’s job to model for their children what a healthy, respectful, loving relationship is. Sometimes that means walking away from an unhealthy, disrespectful, unloving relationship.
I hope this man gets the strength to walk away.
Sometimes parents stay, especially back in the days.
My parents didn't teach me anything and are toxic themselves.
@@alluringbliss4165 Sometimes parents do stay, but that doesn’t mean it’s better for the kids.
@@alluringbliss4165 I know. My dad should have divorced my mom when I was 4. He didn’t.
@@mariahconklin4150 My parents taught me what not to do.😆. I’m still figuring out what to do.
So no one noticed the fallout with the parents? Thats a huge red flag. If someone has no interest in getting along with your family, run.
They probably saw what she was
0 tolerance for cheating IMO. One time is too many. Don’t get why anyone puts up with it
Religion, economy.. it sucks .. Grew up around it, it creates long damages.
@@alluringbliss4165 huh?
@@greenAbbot There are many reasons why people stay , the most common ones tend to be religion and financial status or the economy in which the person lives in. I grew up in an underdeveloped country, there were no options for women beside living with their husbands. I grew up in that type of environment.
100% agree if you cheat one time, with who ever, doesn't matter if it's a best friend or a stranger, that relationship is done, in my opinion
Beyonce..whose worth billions of dollars continue to stay with her cheating husband. He cheated on her multiple times with multiple women, and she's a pop star yet she chose to stay with a cheater.
Same thing with Cardi B. She's worth millions of dollars yet continues to stay with her cheating husband who cheated on her multiple times.
Money is not an issue for these two ladies yet they stay.
Man I can hear the pain in this man’s voice and all his friends are just awful for destroying his family
There’s an old saying that goes “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Let her go bro, she ain’t worth worrying over.
“And you never fool me again.” George Bush
@@donsmith9194 my head went to the same place😂
that is bad saying should only be 1time and no more
Having children with a narcissist messes up your whole life, to the point where you can't even think straight. No matter what you do, the children lose. I sympathize with this man.
It does! Makes having a normal stress free life impossible.
AGREED.. TOTALLY.. been there. No one would understand unless they’ve walked in your shoes. They always prey on empathetic kind people..
I agree with Johns advice here. When it comes to cheating it’s never ok, but there are levels to it, there is no “momentary lapse of judgement” when it comes to cheating with your husbands BEST FRIEND. That is vile and heartless on every level, it’s very cold and calculating, the woman sounds like a true narcissist
And that guy ain't his best friend, if he can do that to another man. Yuck!
How anyone can cheat on someone blows my mind. But with a person's supposed best friend is awful like wtf ??
There are no ‘levels’ of it, cheating is NEVER a mistake. The process of cheating takes several conscious CHOICES. Only simps and weak men try and explain it away by applying the word mistake to it or implying that adultery isn’t a conscious betrayal that is never acceptable. A man that ‘forgives’ cheating will lose the respect of the cheater even more.
Always, every time, regardless of the details, leave a cheater.
@@barryc9115 She explicitly said cheating is never ok. She is 100% right that there are levels to it. Example A: getting drunk at your friend's bachelorette party and making out with some guy at a bar. Example B: having a long-term relationship with your family member...... do you really think those two are the same level? Once again, not asking if either is okay - they aren't - but one is 10x worse than the other.
@@Tyler-vw9bh
Incorrect. Cheating is cheating. Period.
She will never be faithful. Peace of mind is more important than hanging on to a cheater.
I wanna know how she has time for all these affairs with three kids under five. Impressive commitment…but not to her husband.
You and me both. Crazy. And she probably was "too tired" to sleep with her husband....🙄
House calls
For real
@@CrystalM1917 thats a blessing for him bc in south carolina he can still go for at fault divorce since.
@@johnsmith-kt7efnfortunately the courts are gynocentric, as is every institution in the U.S. today. That useless 304 will get primary custody, alimony, and half of his stuff and all the hormonal and neurotic feminists will cheer her on.
Man this is the first time I heard Jon say it done, legit the first time. I’d run for the hills my guy. The fact that she keeps doing it HER BEHAVIOR IS SHOWING THAT SHE TRULY DOES NOT CARE AT ALL. I’m so so sorry 😢
Poor guy!! He had a fight with his parents... then lost his wife and 2 good friends!!! You deserve way better fam. I hope you heal and come back from this ❤️
If they slept with his wife, they were never his friends!!!
He had an argument with his parents about his wife. Pretty sure because they knew she was unfaithful. Lost the friends because she was unfaithful with them.
@@mlokole254 Yea... 2 people he THOUGHT were good friends.
I wouldn't be surprised if the fight with the parents was caused by her.
I'd be shocked if it wasn't caused by her@@MG-hb2he
We always hear John tell people to call him back with updates later to work through the next steps, but we hardly ever hear the updates. I would love to hear a follow up on this 6 months to a year down the line.
I have commented in the past how I thought JD puts too much blame on the man when things go sideways in the relationship. I commend him for calling out the wife’s behavior and even letting Isaac know she is unlikely to change. This was a great response to an awful situation.
There was no pussyfooting around with this one. It was just too blatantly clear. His wife has no respect for him and clearly doesn't love him.
Sorry to tell you this but the science shows it usually is the mans fault. Even the bible says this. If a man is to lead his wife, than everything she does is because he led her there. If she has an affair, its because he led her there with poor leadership. Many people will say "oh but thats just in the bible". Well no, we see this when we look at evolutionary behavior. Women bond very hard, very quickly after one sexual encounter with a man. This is to ensure the survival of the children. Most women who cheat, do it because they arent getting their needs met. So if we look at it under the lense of human behavior, this means the man is a weak learder and has shown his mate he is not the best fit to ensure her children thrive, so she gets the desire to find a better mate and potential father for the children. To be honest, i actually blame feminism because it has clearly made men weak leaders. We see that couples who have a trad marriage are much happier and trad wives normally stay faithful because they feel secure. They feel they have a strong man who will always lead them down the right path, and more importantly, they feel their husband will raise strong children. Soft men create soft men and women with psychological issues. So if a man wants to ensure he isnt cheated on, he needs to be a strong leader who shows love to his family. If he can do that, any woman will stay faithful.
If Dr JD defended the woman this time he would have lost all credibility.
This call was so clear cut, Delony couldn't defend the woman this time. If he did, he knew it'll show blatant bias and he knew he would lose any last shred of credibility he has left. That's why he didn't defend the woman...this time.
I think the same thing. He doesn’t hold women accountable as much as men .
Society it’s let doesn’t hold women accountable.therefore, women themselves for the most part don’t hold themselves accountable.
Exact situation was with my cousin and his ex wife. He worked hard all day and left her "alone", and instead of being grateful for a 6 figure salary she cheated on him with his best friend. Destroyed him both mentally and physically, he didnt deserve it hes a great dude. Fast forward 10 years, his daughter just changed her name legally to his old best friends last name....his ex wife and best friend are married and have been living together ever since. They now have 3 kids in their household including my cousins daughter.
Apparently the daughter was forced to have her name changed as she was crying to my cousin(her father) that her mom lied to her.
Your cousin chose poorly. He’s not a victim. Used the little head instead of the big one, those are the consequences.
@@hillarybillary21 lol I bet you think women who get abused and beat up by their husbands "chose poorly" and are "not victims".
How dare people be hurt by someone they trusted. The audacity.
No, he needs to move on from her. He deserves so much better. She has humiliated this man by using anybody close to him for her own sick pleasure. I don't know how this guy isn't furious telling this story.
Someone who would do that to you doesn’t love or respect you. Have some self respect & leave for Godsakes. The fact he’s even considering staying absolutely BLOWS my mind
Uuummm... so... he can't trust his wife around his friends and can't trust his friends around his wife. if they have kids, he needs to get DNA tests done. 😢
They are his kids because he has been raising them
Given the timeline, sounds like she only comes back to him when she’s pregnant and runs around when she’s given birth.
Would he even want to know? Would that affect his ability to get custody of them? If it was me I’d rather not know.
@@rebeccashields9626 it would be good for him to know, and for the kids to eventually know if he is NOT their father. Secrets like that always come out, and in the worst way, it would be better for them just to find out asap and deal with it. It should not affect his getting custody of them, cause once he signed their birth certificates, by law he's their father. But... if there arises any health issues with the kids, it would be beneficial for them to know their biological family background.
@@mrskitty7929 I would hope that any man facing this situation would determine if the children are his. Even though he signed the birth certificate and they’re not his. He can pay child support and wash his hands clean of everyone and move forward on his own.
„It seems impossible to not be done“
I know exactly what that feels like. When you would do all you can to make this work but the other person is creating a situation where you would have to give up all your self-respect and intelligence to fool yourself into the relationship again
Dude is a pushover there’s no way you can look at her the same after this
Kids mean you tolerate a lot you probably wouldn't otherwise.
@@brightpage1020 this is true.
@@brightpage1020and he's so nice / naïve he didn't question their biological link. Those children might not even be his yet he's tolerating things he wouldn't otherwise.
Sounds like a good dude tho, wishing him the best.
@@dantouneto maybe he knows they're his. All my kids came out looking exactly like their dad. It doesn't happen that way for everyone but the resemblance was so clear to all the family at the hospital visiting and all the nurses and docs who delivered them. 2/3 still look more like hubby 5-10 yrs later.
Happened to one of my sisters, too. All her kids came out looking like different versions of their dad.
The other sister's kids half looked like her more, but the resemblance is still clear and almost uncanny.
Maybe that'why he doesn't question. Sometimes you really can tell and it's 'that clear. Not every time...
Do you have kids?
Everytime you accept her back after she cheats, she loses respect for you. You allowing this is a reflection of the lack of self respect you have in yourself. She knows this. She's addicted to the thrill of disrespecting you.
It’s not hard to find a woman that’s never cheated but it is hard to find a woman that’s only cheated once…
That sounds true!
I’ve never cheated. I’ve been cheated on. It really hurts. My husband’s best friend tried to get me to have an affair with him before we were married. It was a real shock when he told me he was attracted to me and wanted an affair. When I said no he told me not to tell my husband we could just forget it. I said no way was I going to lie and pretend he was anything but a backstabbing POS.
very interesting observation
I did once, almost 2 decades ago now, when I was young and dumb, and I can confirm it's the ugliest thing in the world. I never ever fully forgave myself for the hurt I caused, I left as he deserved better. I don't regret leaving as we married young and grew apart, but I bitterly regret the affair and the pain it caused. After that I remarried and despite my second marriage being abusive and miserable at times, and having multiple opportunities to default to that behaviour, I never did. In fact I put up with over a decade of crap I wouldn't usually tolerate, because part of me felt like I deserved it and that was my karma. My ex even sat me down once and said - stop punishing yourself, let it go, I forgave you years ago. Then I said - but I didn't. It took about 13 years before I felt like - ok, enough, I've served my time, lesson learned.
We are rare, but we exist ✌🏻
@@rarebird_82 Your ex is the one
“Im ready to work in it”=“your friend doesn’t want me anymore.”
I had that same problem, it’s over trust me. The sooner you move on the sooner you will heal.
TO EVERYONE- if a spouse or boyfriend, girlfriend, cheat, you have to get rid of them there’s no other way they will never respect you, and as you might like to forgive, you will never be able to forget just like a criminal who never gets caught keeps committing crimes until they get caught you have to dump this person, and find somebody else to save your self-respect
Isaac!! You DESERVE BETTER! There are women out there who would love you as you deserve. Your wife has NO REGARD for you whatsoever! You will definitely go thru this again if you stick with her. I truly wish you the best! ❤
Why is it that the worst people end up with the best people? 😅 obviously she must be beautiful for him to have married her bc her character ain't it. 😮 but there are plenty of pretty women out here....on the inside too.
This one was hard to listen to. The pain and absolute gut wrenching sadness in the callers voice was heartbreaking.
His wife has literally broken him down to nothing and it honestly makes me so mad how people can do that to one another.
Caller needs to move on to better things and ditch those assholes he called friends and to never get back with his wife… once a cheater always a cheater, and she’s already cheated on him three times. She’ll do it again if she had the chance, the only difference is she’ll be a whole lot more careful to not get caught…
Wild. Its OVER
Isaac genuinely sounds like a sweet person who has been screwed over. With everything that has happened he's still talking about how blessed he is with good people in his life. I wish him all of the best and hope he finds the strength to move on from this hot mess.
You deserve better my dude! You know what you need to do! Lots of women cherish good men. You do you and be good to your kids. First time shame you, second time shame on me!
I’m sorry bro, it’s a wrap. She cheated not once, but twice, with people who you called friends. She has no respect for you. You have to walk away. It won’t be the last time she cheats. Because now she knows it’s always something you will forgive because she’s already taken it about as far as it can go and you’re still considering it
Another thing, she flat out admitted to you she cheated while asking you for a breakup. She doesn’t want you. You’re the last option. The fall back plan. Whatever she has going on isn’t working and now she wants to turn back to you as the last resort. Don’t give in to it. Don’t be anyone’s second option. As a man you can’t be that if you ever want to be respected in your relationship.
And that's just the two times he knows about, I really doubt that she gave him the full story.
I feel so sorry for this dude. He sounds like a great, humble guy. She's running him over like a steamroller. Horrible, but different if no kids involved. He will find a good woman, because he has a good soul. The fact that kids are involved really pisses me off.
No one can steamrolling him, especially twice. And he’s still thinking about going back for more. I wouldn’t call him great or humble.
It's over. If the guy can't learn to accept the fact his wife had never loved or respected him and can't find the courage to leave after what she put him through then nobody can help him. He has to do this on his own.
To even suggest he stays with her is criminal.
Good women are out there hoping a good man is looking for them. Don’t throw a good heart after bad love.
One affair and it's over for me no matter what I did. There's no such thing as a mistake when it comes to having an affair. I've been very clear about this in my relationship. This poor guy.
A mistake is a quick thing or wrong words in a fight…. an affair takes a lot of effort and steps…. I agree 💯
With his best friend
Totally agree. That is a dealbreaker. I don’t care how long we’ve been together I’m done
@@imenehaddad2860Some "friend", that.
She’s using you as a safety blanket if that man never left her she wouldn’t have came back!!!!
Get the best attorney you can, visit others so she can't use them in the divorce, and go for full custody. She's checked out of this relationship a while ago.
As horrible as she is, some states don’t care if a parent behaves badly. They do care if the parent is abusive or neglectful. Getting full custody doesn’t mean she can’t see them if she wanted to. A “good” lawyer in 2024 can cost between $150k - $200k depending on how complicated your case is. Should never use children as a weapon to get back at your spouse. It never worked.
Not only is she cheating, but she’s cheating with his close friends?! Sounds like she’s trying to hurt him. I’m really curious going on on her side. Either way, let her go.
John first starting the show: “I think y’all can save this!”
John now: “Sounds like you’re done, man.”
I approve. So many of these callers call in with marriages falling apart and zero respect from their spouses and sometimes it’s best & healthiest to just move on instead of staying in the cycle of dishonesty and toxicity. I’m happy that John, while always compassionate and supportive, is starting to see that too. There have been a few calls where he’s advised a ton of effort and therapy and work for the caller when it really seems like it won’t end well no matter what they do.
Agreed!
My husband’s best friend admitted a crush on me and asked me to have an affair with him. I was completely blindsided. Took me two days to tell my husband(then live in boyfriend, we hadn’t married yet). I didn’t think he would believe me. He had been friends with this guy for years before we even met. I told him when he wanted to invite his friend over for dinner. I told him I didn’t want to be around him and why. He believed me, but was in disbelief, if that makes sense. So I talked to the best friend again to get clarification on what he wanted exactly and recorded the conversation. I also confronted his friend on how awful he was and told him I was telling my man. He told me I was ruining everything, just let it go. I said if I pretended like he was my husband’s friend then I would be just as bad as he was. I can’t lie to him like that. I certainly can’t stand by while a back stabbing a-hole like him was anywhere near my husband. I left and gave the recording to my man. I felt really bad, because he’s a good man. He deserved so much better from a friend that he would have done anything for.
3 kids under 5 ? She cheated & still is. Are those YOUR children. I am very sorry but you need to do a DNA test.
Run !
Maybe I allow motherhood to restrict my life more than other moms but HTF did she even find the time and energy to engage in such extracurricular activity any way?🤔
Most women can’t even keep up with their husbands let alone a full blown affair 😮
I agree there is a decent chance the kids may not be his, but it isn't the kid's fault. Just because they don't belong to him doesn't mean he doesn't love the kids. In a way, if I were him I don't know if I would want to know.
@victornieves1794 I don’t have high hopes that the man willing to cheat with a married woman is prime father material . I could be wrong just saying .Kids do have the right to know their biological parents but sometimes there is a price to pay of putting up with a lot of adult drama.
@victornieves1794 The difference I would see that as bad as her behavior was she is the only mother they have . Her husband is a proven good father . The bio dad has no track record ,but his pedigree is shaky. I don’t pretend to know the right answer to their mess ,I just think a good father takes priority over a chance sperm donor .
he needs to rethink every relationship he has because seemingly all his friends and his wife are willing to literally screw him over
I like to say, when people show you who they are, you best ‘be leavin’ them’. Cheating on you with one of your own groomsman?! That’s a dagger in the heart. Neither of them deserve you and truthfully if one of your closest friends does that to you with your new ‘best friend til death’, that shows people close to you care more about themselves than they care about you. God that sucks.
Once can be forgiven. Twice is the last straw. Three times is gone. Dr. Delony is one amazing man. I am continued to be blown away by how sensitive and firm he is and so respectful
Once is unforgivable
So she should be forgiven for cheating with her husband’s best friend? That’s forgivable to you? I have a doormat I can sell to you with your name on it.
The first time I see someone betrayed this much and still wanting to work things out.This guy looks really unique and precious.
Probably a little broken too
If he were calling John after being cheated on once and still trying to work it out, then yes, he might be "precious."
Now he's just contemptible. And I'm sure his "best friend," his wife, his co-worker, and half the neighborhood feel the same way.
He is a really upstanding man but it's time to hold onto his self respect now and leave. Even if some of all of the kids aren't his, he will likely continue the duty of a father to them based on the kind of man he is. This is really sad. I'm appalled as a wife that she displayed these kind of characteristics. I don't even have time to cheat even if I wanted to. I have too many responsibilities as a mother and wife. It baffles me. I guess you make time for whats important to you. Sheesh.....😢
Or has poor self esteem.
It doesn’t matter what half the neighborhood thinks. It’s non of their business.
His voice is all sweet n u can just hear the desperation and pain. And he'll never be the same.
WOW!! What a complete P.O.S. This poor man and family. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Only comes clean when they’re ready to walk. Literally my worst nightmare. Keep your head up king.
Was it the same friend twice or two different friends she slept with? He needs a new wife and friends.
One was a groomsmen and one was a coworker two different friends.
@@aprilsatterfield3868 😳
Horrible.
A wife is someone who would say, "hi my love, I know John is your best friend, and it pains me to tell you tried to make a move on me". A friend is someone who would say, "I'm sorry to have to tell you buddy, but Sarah tried to make a move on me, and thought you should know". They would help you weed out toxic people from your life. Instead, they were complicit in hurting you. Please get rid of all three, you deserve respect, and the first person who should give it to you is yourself.
Mmmmmaaaaaannnnnn she cheated on you with 2 of your FRIENDS...TWICE!!! I would be OUT... the damage is already done 🤷🏾♀️
No two different best friends and I guarantee you she cheated on him with the first one during the first couple of years of their relationship and during the first couple of years of their marriage. I would not be surprised if their oldest is the best friend's child and their youngest is the other best friend's child
Simpology
@BIGEAGLEDUDE ohhhhh wow... I definitely concur with her kids because nine times outta ten, she more than likely told her husband the babies are his, not knowing if those children were the cause of those affairs...I truly hope he get a DNA test smfh
@@NenaVA1 he needs it more than he knows. But he doesn't want to do it because it's bad enough to his wife cheated to have the thought of his three kids particularly his youngest and his oldest not being biologically his will scare the crap out of him
Betrayed by his two closest humans.... absolutely sickening.
He also needs to find a new best friend. My gut tells me he’s the ‘nice guy’ she went with but she was looking around for someone else the whole time. He needs to ditch her permanently
He sounds very codependent and low self esteem. She's just reaffirming it for him and that's what he likes. He needs to get therapy on his childhood wounds.
John is all the time saying "I never tell people to divorce BUUUTT..."
He could not even do his speech!
The is it over question gets me every time. If they cheat it's been over for a long time
Don't go back man. Your wife and "friends" seem to have no respect for you sadly. Not sure what you're day to day life is back, but no one deserves that. You're a backup to her fantasies with other men--so when they don't work out she comes back to you for stability. Some serious boundaries would have to be set just like Dr. John said to even consider it--and I doubt she'd be up for it either. Basically, no private phone to start would just be one.
He keeps referring to these guys she’s cheating with as “his good friends” that’s a big issue right there
the caller is a good dude, I hope the best for him.
Someone very close to me who experienced something similar told me its harder to leave than it is to just accept it and stay, hope this dude gets the strength to move on
Once, with grief, repentance, and accountability, I would try to work it out. Twice? She is a serial cheater and the marriage is destroyed.
And she did this with small children? What a selfish person!!!
Number 1. Cheating =Never right. Ever
Number 2. Those "friends" were enemy's the second you met them you just didnt know because predators hide in plain sight
Number 3. Of ALL the people to cheat on your spouse with you pick friends and co workers, twice? Thats totally deliberate
Tell her goodbye. Or be petty and say bad bye
I'm sorry but if your wife cheats with your best friend.
Divorce the wife, get a DNA test for the kids, and ghost the "Best Friend" they are both garbage.
This dude sounds like a keeper. He’s gotta keep it moving. He will be happier with someone that is a decent human being.
Behavior is a language (as John says) and she has spoken LOUD AND CLEAR as to who she is at her core. Isaac, she will cheat again. Full stop. You are teaching your kids that if their future spouse cheats on them, they should go back over and over and just _take it._
Please run, brother. This will cause you nothing but pain and heartache. You are worth so much more than this crap!!
There are good, healthy women out there.....get some healing from what you've been through, set boundaries, work on your self esteem and then look for someone who's safe ❤
She has zero respect for him and NEVER will. Those poor kids. That poor man.
He’s going back to her…
I’m afraid you’re right.
Unfortunately you’re right. He’s a weak man like most. 😢
Guaranteed ,! And 100 percent guaranteed she will do this again
Simp
-bro,,, DO NOT TAKE HER BACK!!! She well do it again! I promise you!
The pattern of this woman going for his closest friends makes this a "walkaway" story...and def get full custody IF they are his kids.
Divorce her, dude. You and she can politely co-parent, but your heart will become free from constant pain and will heal. You don't need her, and can find a better woman.
Without even watching this video, yes it is over. One and done. You can never trust her again, and without trust a relationship is done.
Might be painful now but watch how happy you will be later now that she is gone. You got this.
John finally speaking the truth about infidelity
Don't save her, she doesn't want to be saved!
The problem , Mr caller , is that the moment you forgive her again she is going to lose any residuary respect for you . And you and her may feel that she won’t cheat on you again but it is going to happen as there is something fundamentally wrong here. Dr John is right. You need to choose you and your kids and get out of this bad marriage. It’s scary but essential. I hope you make the right choice.
I have never wanted somebody to walk away so badly before. Clearly this is a top class dude and some people see that as something to take advantage of. But it is so freaking sad that there are people like her in this world who are happy to keep harming somebody who has been top qualify this entire time. I genuinely hurt for him that his wife could be so damn cruel that she didn’t need to just cheat on him but she openly chose to cheat on him with two of his closest friends. That isn’t something that can be understood or rationalized because that isn’t just infidelity which is never right but we can normally get ourselves to understand how someone could make that decision and even if we disagree with it at least carry ourselves to a point where there’s some minimum stage of understanding.
It is so heart breaking that she apparently doesn’t need to simply be unfaithful, which destroys his entire ability to openly trust any romantic partner as his life lives forward, but multiples that by levels because not only did she destroy that but her choice to pursue his close friends have also really hurt any ability trust in that regard too. And sadly he is nothing but kindness around this as he loves her so much he is still struggling that through all of this he still deeply wants to make it work when he should be exploding backstage. And it’s disgusting that she openly hurts him like this. She is clearly vile and I genuinely hope that gets all that she rightfully deserves in her life to match the way she treats people.
But I also hope for people to stop trying to shame him as he struggles through this. He absolutely should send her walking and avoid interacting with her at any length outside of the bare minimum. But he is clearly a top quality human being. He never really rips her apart, takes full accountability for flaws in their marriage and did everything he reasonably can to save their marriage even after learning of the infidelity and she decided shortly after to cheat again with another close friend and even now he still hurts with the reality that he needs to walk away. And through all of that storm he’s continued caring for his kids, he is clearly a very positive person, and cares for the needs of your children and continue to generate revenue for the forward running future. I wish I could be his friend and show him that the way he got treated is not everybody and be the friend that he deserves.