What to do about someone who is mean to you but nice to others
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Remember it is them not you! For whatever reason, this person treats you like dirt, but is as nice as pie to everyone else...or so it seems. You are not the only person he/she is treating this way. But you don't know the others. Remember, her true colors will come out. In the mean time, you have to be almost overly polite. A big fat fake smile and a little bit of professionalism can go a long way.
I believe they are mean towards you because they are envious of you.... Especially if you've never done anything to them. It is all a trick to make you feel bad about yourself. That is their goal... to bring you down.
Sad tactic…
That's what I've lived for 6th to 10th std of my school life.
I think these mean people love to show off and act like they are better than people to make them selves feel important
Hi I have the same last name as you. 💖💕
@@malinawilliams7623 Williams is a common name, like Jones, especially in Wales .
@@Loverboy19691 that's good to know.T_T
Yes, that's true.
This kind of behaviour is bullying. Disgusting behaviour which, in my experience hasn't stopped, even though I do ignore & don't react at all.
Andrea M this is not bullying at all
Helen Agedie. Yes it is.
Yes, it's bullying.
Depends on the person. If the behaviour is becoming too much i would just question it. Just practice what u r gonna say before you say it.
You are 100% right.
I think it may be a power thing. People like this act this way because they don't feel powerful enough in some aspects of their life, and when they act this way toward you and see that they are able to get to you/ control you (probably because they detect some sort of weakness in you and they latch onto it), it makes them feel powerful. They're heartless, mean-spirited assholes who are not going to get far in life, because people who will get far in life don't need to act this way in order to feel powerful.
Marie, I think your advice on how to deal with them is spot-on. I've dealt with a coworker like this - she'd never make mean or nasty comments to me, but she does things such as making me feel excluded in meetings - when she talks, she would avoid eye contact with me, even if she's talking about something that I am working on as well. At first, it really got to me. I don't know what I did wrong and it really bothered me. I even spoke with her about it and she feigns ignorance. Now, after years in the workplace, I start to see people like her for who they really are. And I'm not even angry anymore, I just feel pity for them that they need to act that way. You're absolutely right. It's not you, it's them. You keep doing you and let the assholes fall apart on their own.
Do you know 2hy they act that way b3caus3 im going through a similar situation i know she said iy does not matter but i want.to kno2 why do i do t take it too personal
@@violet482 you take it personally because it feels personal. They are predators and do a great of preying when they come across good hearted ppl who are kind and have Light in them and may be a little naive at times. But jane put it very well. These pll wont go far in life. They cant until they come into a level of self awareness and change their toxic behavior. YOU will go far. Im dealing with a manipulative chick now who is toxic woth me but everybody else thinks shes so sweet and they just love her. Its so fucking nerve rackomg i know.
But one thing u MUST remember is NEVER let them see u sweat or give a negative reaction to them!! They will latch onto u and use it against u bc they know theyve gotten to u at that point.
Just excuse urself from their presence, dont speak with them unless u must and keep it polite and short and do ur best to keep a smile, smirk on ur face when dealing with them. Peace be with you brother and sister✊😇✌
@@sagittariansage_2271 ok thank you anf i hope thr situation with thats chick gets sorted out😘
great comment!! i love your view on that!
It seems like they're trying to get somewhere in life and you're a stepping stone for them to achieve it.
I wish I'd had this video to play to myself for the last 30 years...the thing about not sharing personal information is important, because they just use it to attack/badmouth you
Jayne, thank you so much for your kind words.
It’s their insecurity but their insecurity causes suffering for you.
I attended a neighborhood party today. A lady who had come home few weeks ago being friendly and all.....totally ignored me today. She had a hateful look for me in her eyes. I have no idea what I did to her. I am a magnet to such crazy people. I truly don't know how to react.
envious and jealous is poison to people. I find it difficult to deal with these people. I just don't react and give no energy.
My cousin is the one who bullys me but everyone one he is a innocent person
😱
I'm sad that I found your channel so late because 16 year old me really needed this!
However I'm glad I found it now. I'm gonna binge watch all your videos
Old at 16 lol!!!
ISIS DE JESUS sometimes people have a mother figure to help them figure these things out at a younger age. Some of us are either raised by narcissist or just don’t have their mom around, so we have to figure it out on our own. And in these cases, we feel a little late than others when we find what helps us cope with people and help us navigate our own feelings around bullies.
You're spot on on this one as well Marie. They are insecure, jealous and attention seeking.
I deal with that too much it upsets me people don’t know how sensitive I am and I don’t know why I am scared to treat others rude back even I try to be very nice and kind everybody gets attention but me
I really wish I saw this video earlier. A couple of years ago I hung out regularly with a group of friends and one of these girls was so mean to me. Yet she was super nice to everybody else. I just couldn't understand why! It made me so angry and confused. I even started to think that I was crazy. Like I was the bully, not her. 'Cause, why would everyone else think she is so nice? Thanks for uploading this!
Same
Orpa, is that a picture of you? If so, you must have difficulty here and there making friends...jealousy because of your looks. It's unfortunately very common for women to compete with each other not just with looks but with everything. I don't know if men do that too. Rather than trying to lessen the unintended threat of looks or intelligence, it's best to find people with confidence who would welcome you as a friend.
Orpa T From look at ur picture. I bet u where pretty of all other girlfriend.I been threw samething.
Same and I planed to tell her she is mean but ever time I didn’t have the guts then she insults me and everyone laughs at me which is soo sad she is ok when she is talking to everyone but separate she is mean to me
@@fineneighborhood men do it way more then women. It’s sickening!
I notice being cold DOES help!
There is this creepy security guard at my Walmart. He doesn't work every night, but he is there simply there to check your receipt when you leave, and his only commentary should be "have a nice day." Well, and he only does this to me, he would ask personal questions, like "are you upset or in a bad mood or having a bad day?" Just because I wasn't smiling. I felt off guard and so I passively said "I'm tired." Next time I saw him, I would try and put on a happy demeanor. He asked me if I was tired, again. Then the next time, told me I should get more sleep. Just being really unprofessional and taunting. I would look down whenever I saw him. I finally got fed up, and I had a list of comebacks from friends. Things like "it's so funny how you can't do the simple task of checking off of a damn receipt." I was ready to rip at him, I approached him, looking straight at him instead of shying. He asked me how I was and I said "fine." In a cold, sharp, even tone. He started to say "you look..." then stopped and said "have a nice day." He still makes me nervous but I try not to shrink away. I find ignoring and walking away helps too.
Men like that are just insecure. They need to pause for a second that we are all human beings, not walking around with a God-damn smile on our faces 24/7! We all have personal lives and problems we deal with. They make it about them when it has nothing to do with them! What if you just went to a funeral that day and it was someone that passed away close to you, I would smack him if he said that I look mad, or in a bad mood. A lot of insecure guys have thought that way about me too if I pass by them and not smile when I'm tired. I struggle with anemia, which most people don't know about either and work late nights, so it can become very draining after I get off work and I don't want to be around anyone at all. Some guys has taken that personally as I bike pass them, they literally chase after me! I'm like "I'm like what the hell?" I've called the cops many times on people like that and there were guys that were rejected by me and they are just plain mean afterwards! They don't just ask me how things are going... they have to just hurt me! If someone hurts you, they don't care at all about themselves, sadly and I did with him. He once did care about me too until his friends got too involved and he was this nice guy before they did. Now, he just avoids going out near my building and had seen him tonight for the first time in a month with his friend and they think I'm always watching for them, so they laugh about it. I watch behind a window like anyone does and I glare back at them and ignore them afterwards. Why do they think its ok tell me what to do? I'm not allowed to look out the window? Why are they so insecure? I started to look at them differently now. I do watch out for them so I can see how he's doing. I remember how hurt he was and I couldn't ask how he was doing from his friends being too much around him. Sadly, he punishes me without getting to know me and will never know that I'm in a long distance relationship thats been hard for me, which is why I rejected him. He always wondered why.. but he never got an answer. He'll never know if he doesnt ask me.
Say mind your business about how I look
Sorry I had to disagree with you the only way to handle ugly people like that if you can just cut them off don't put up with with them that's their issue and I emphasize there issue!!
My sister treats me like this at home. When we visit family or vice versa, she treats them like they’re golden but me, I am verbally abused and none of my family is aware of that.
You have to slowly start distancing yourself from them. Don't do it to sudden so that they don't suspect back.
marina, Gretel is right. She is the bully and looking for a target. I think these types search for kind, warm people who have a positive outlook on life, just so they can try and bring them down. Don't allow her to do that! Remember you can't control her, but you can control your reaction to her.
For me, I've been watching a lot of psychological videos ever since I graduated high school, and I recommend that you guys do the same, not to be an ass, but to better your chances in the social hierarchy.
From what I've learned, your reaction to anything dictates your social status, you can be the ugliest person in the room and still garner the respect of everyone based on behavior. You don't have to be prince or princess charming to get respect, but you do need to be confident, loosen yourself up a little, it's okay to be firm or serious, but if you're like that all the time, the person who's messing with you can use that against you.
To put it simply, you can A. Not give them a reaction and ignore them, or B. Hop on their comment and hit them back with something just as mean, in a playful, joking way. Don't be afraid to make eye contact either, or give pause for yourself to think.
I'm still a bit new to this but I've applied it to my life and I feel like I'm already growing up, you should do the same.
I think your one of the people that like helping people and coming up with new solutions I think your so adorable. You seem to be kinda like a Doctor
Austin Archer why friends be mean to you and call you name say like u are fat and I am go to get your boyfriend to like her and her name is irea
In all likelihood this lady envied you. And in all likelihood once again, she did not even know that it was envy that was eating her up. That is one nasty creature to be sure.
I don't smile at them... I grimace. Show them your fighting spirit, and the bullies back off.
5winder thanks for the advice. I think I'll try that 😀
Marisa, you have to talk to your parents...because this can not continue. Tell them how you don't feel safe. Your home should be your sanctuary...and clearly it is not.
Oh okay
they did talk to him about it
yes, he finally left for something, I wish he would never come back
+Marie Dubuque hey marie, i have a problem with someone and i cant solve it i hope you read this and help me, so there is this guy in school who likes everyone and hates me sooo bad and i cant figure out the reason, i tried to ignore him but he wont leave me alone and he always makes sarcastic jokes about me, im a kind person and i dont know how to counter his sarcasm i dont know how to like say bad words or something like that and he is some serious cold person and i mean it he is like a freezer he is soooooo cold and actually there is another guy who does the same to me but he isnt cold, but the fact is in the very beginning of the year we used to always sit with each other in the break, i dont have friends to back me up or anything like that, and in the beginning of the year they both were good guys they were kinda kind but some how they turned.
thecat....Im so so sorry, you are going through this, and it sounds like youre at a very tender age....It could be that he is actually attracted to you....... Try not to go down to his level....You might try asking him what his point is.....Or "why would you want to say that? What are you trying to achieve? You could even say, in an almost business like tone " I think youre a good person, deep down.. I would really appreciate it, if you stopped saying these things to me." and leave it at that..... He might be so surprized that you or anyone think of him as a good person, so he may well try to live up to that !!! ... If he continues, simply walk away with your head held high.... You are not running away out of fear, you are simply removing yourself from company you do not wish to frequent ! He will soon get the message.....
Evy Courtney im 15 and a boy by the way, if i asked him any of these he will make fun of them, he has no point but he likes annoying people, he also doesnt care what others think of him, he used to be my friend but then he changed for no reason, and im not a person who can fight back or say stuff back and the worst thing i hate about my self is that im very shy.
Oh, Im sorry for addressing you as a girl.....Yes, 15 is indeed a very tender age, and its so hard when one is shy....You will probably find, that as you grow older, your shyness will lessen.....Getting back to the boy who "doesnt care what ppl think" Hmmm.....I wouldnt be so sure of that...I think we ALL care, deep down....to a greater or lesser degree....Maybe he thinks so badly of himself and feels so deprived of attention (maybe one of his parents, or both, tell him what a bad boy he is) that he tries to do anything to get that attention, for which he is starving,.....and that can include negative attention.....If you totally ignore anything he says to you, and just keep walking away, as if u hadnt even heard, he will soon get bored, cos he wont be getting any reaction from you..... I wish you all the VERY best, Cat....Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me.... Hugs
Thank you so so so much
This helped me a lot
I had 3 friends from my class,and one day,for no reason they started to ignore me,make fun of me,talk nasty stuff about me about things that I say,do...
They were so nice to everyone else and everyone loved them
But I was standing there like W H Y
Only I know what they are really like,they are fake to everyone
I don't talk to them anymore,I moved on,it was hard but your videos really helped me thank you so much❤
You just don't know how much this video means to me. I have the sister-in-law from Hell. She makes me a nervous wreck. Comes in my house and goes from room to room looking to see if it"s clean. Allows making snide remarks. My husband never says a word when she's doing that. She even told me my husband could of chosen a better wife.
So now I have been locking all the bedroom doors. She asked why. I told her no one needs to be in there. My things are in there. That pissed her off. Which made me happy.
I will be using your technique. I might mess up once or twice. But I will try harder when I do. Thanks again.
She needs to work on her self esteem and control issues, which is to due with low confidence. My boyfriends brother is the same way when it comes to his house and he worries too damn much that it had affected me whenever I'm around anyone like that. I can't relax like I use to do and I use to be this very calm person, now I'm anxious and worry too much about little things. I blame people who do that to others.
I would have told her that I wish I had a different sister in law, and it's none of her business what's in the rooms and she doesn't belong in there. Also I wouldn't allow her in my home anymore after disrespecting me
I once tried the smile-and-be-polite-but-cold technique when my stepmom was in one of her moods. Let's just say my dad later told me I should not come out of my room. :P
You have a good sense of humor and expression while delivering your topics. Keep it up, great job!
Today I felt so crappy because one of my good friends said something that made me feel crappy and ruined my whole day. I been watching videos and I found yours which really helped me so much. I really wanted to be mean back but as in my school they say treat others how you wanted to be treated I just think she was not care, every time some one say something to me that is mean will ruin my day one crappy little sentense ruined my day
I see such people as just being fake and that means I can't trust them. If I am confident that I've done nothing wrong to them and they still act like a jerk toward me and are the sweetest to others...........then I see even their sweetness to them as fake as well. A genuinely nice person will not treat you this way if you've never wronged them.
Oh yes, I've noticed this too. It's sad that the people whom they're sweet to actually fall for their "kindness" not realizing that it's all a facade.
Sorry, have to disagree with you . It appears some of these people have been blessed with a permanent shield of indestructibility and others never get wise to their mean ways. At some point, you need to put your foot down and say No More. I have cut off toxic cruel people who are nice to others were mean to me. No more left handed compliments, social slights or being the target of pranks (OMG, can't you take a joke?? I was ONLY kidding). This is bullying. Kids get it, teens get it, adults get it. I'm over it.
me too I hate they say kidding I hope such people will burn in hell n they will enjoy tehir jokes there in flames heh
I agree with you. I am still waiting for a few people to "get it" . But the woman I am thinking about who has given so much toxicity to my life has a great skill. . Well than again she was in sales and public relations for years, so the woman knows how to manipulate others quite well. However, having witnessed her talking behind others backs and mine as well as other deeds, I know better.
Because some others do not see her without that mask, I now find that over the years, I am slipping away from those that circle her. It used to hurt, but as years pass, not as much.
MakeUpDetective007 noooooo
why no I agree with MakeUpDetective007 such people suck the most and they are annoyin losers bullies, all bullies suck, are you advocate of devils Daniel Bryan ???? get over yourself ?
Mary King need to find a better circle
Usually I would just pretend they don’t exist I cut rude mean people from the root. They are not worthy of my time nor kindness.
This is good because I deal with this coworker who's old enough to be my mom and she's really nasty. I watched her bully a young coworker and when that coworker left she started targeting me. We've already talked about her attitude like 3 times and it's still the same. I'm just to the point where I don't talk to her anymore because it's just not my cup of tea. I'm glad you have this video because it shows that my actions are doing nothing but to protect myself. Sadly, I do still work with her but I definitely see that she has a problem and not me. I been through way too much in my lifetime to treat anyone low. so thank you
I feel the same way at work but the difference is is that I work with someone who doesn’t speak English fluently but I am for some reason really good at understanding and listening and have no problem understanding them with the accent. I see others make fun of him and he just sits there in bliss not knowing what is going on around him and it makes me feel sick. When I try tell others about this they think .. oh because you are a woman you feel this when I’m fact it has nothing to do with that! Just evil personalities who indulge in the fact that they can say and do as they please and it is no use to try to defend because I will be caught in the crossfire
not always true. I was bullied out of my job by someone like this Mel BUT I have recently found out that the bully did not prosper. She's off earning even less than she was before now. It's not fair that she got away with the bullying (it's true, no higher powers want to deal with bullying, the bully always wins the minute you report it cos they lie, lie, lie and cowards back them up) but karma got her :-)
great advice, thank you...this part of life is tough but REAL; relieving to know that others have experienced this too; we can feel isolated in this type of situation!
This made me feel so much better. I have been dealing with someone like this. I’ve starting reacting and she got much worse when she saw she was getting to me. Great advice!
Love love your videos they are the bomb I remember stumbling upon them before but then forgot about it and happened to stumble upon them again and so glad I did. Love u the way u talk and point of view makes sooo much sense
I wish i could see this video earlier cause i just slap that mean girl in my school😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Wow the timing of this video!!! I decided to cut all ties with my meanie. 😏
i did too, it was 2 of my "friends". I confronted them and got rid of all communication with them. its nice bc i dont hear "i hope you die" every day
Wow I wouldn't smile at this person like that or act fake with them... I wouldn't even speak to them unless it's work related.... there's no point of saying hello if they are not nice to you !! They will probably disrepect you more if you act smile in their face like that
Thank you so much ! I love your channel, your videos helped me a lot to get through my life. But my problem now is, I don't have confidence in myself and im so shy. I feel like people always gonna judge me for what im wearing,doing and so on. I just feel insecure. I really hope you can help me solving my problem.
Hey thank you for making this video, I’m super duper sensitive and I have problems with people pleasing. I’ll go out of my way to try to be extra nice if they don’t like me. But I end up getting drained because I get no where and I end up crying my eyes out. I have no idea why I do this. ☹️
I don't want to fake smile at this person. He doesn't deserve my smile
omg I wish I had found this channel earlier... about some months ago there was this guy in our English class ... and he was a type of person who everyone have problem with him he had many insecurities and so he would try to push other people down in order to make himself feel better . for example he would try to make fun of others like he would save their profile photos in his phone and then he would make fun of them , or like someone makes a mistake and he would repeat it ever and ever again in the group so that he would feel better about himself and he also targeted me many times and it got so hard for me to the point that I really wanted to quit the class cause i really really couldn't focus on the lesson. but fortunately he left and me and my classmates are continuing in peace but I wish I had found his channel earlier because if I knew this methods then I wouldn't have to suffer for months and months and i would just ignore him... but anyway thank you so much for your informative videos at these videos are really helpful for me ... I'm really using these techniques in my life and the outcome is perfect .. I really appreciate it thank you so much.
I'm in elementary and this is happening me.😭.
I have a family member who acts this way .They are mean to me but everyone else thinks they walk on water. I think it's because he expects everyone to bow down at his alter but I am the only one who doesn't
Hmm.....I have tried the being nice / nicer approach and it just prompts more confrontations/ verbal attacks from one of my supervisors .....
It doesn't work. Been there, done that. They just become even more nastier. The way I handle these people is journal every detail and record what's going on and present it to HR. If HR doesn't take care of it, then I take legal action.
I don't know what to do. A colleague who gave me a hard time in my last job, now contacts my friends. She uses the same technique as she did so successfully at work -telling them I have problems and big flaws, pretend to be concerned, and initiate a collaboration. All the time she is trying to get information about me and smear my reputation more. In my job this led me to have a breakdown, and I withdrew from everybody. Everybody thought i was crazy.. I can see that I didn't handle it well, but what can I do now? Can I stop her from winning again?
verna, hold your head high and keep doing a great job. Don't let her get to you. That is her goal. I know it is hard, but you can do it. People will put two and two together and realize what she is up to.
Marie Dubuque Thank you Marie for your support. I try to ignore her, but often I give myself away, show my fear, and trust the wrong people. I guess I just have to keep trying... :-)
@@verna100 how did that turn out
I have had this happen to me numerous times over the years. You ignore it and the bullies just increase the bullying until I bite their heads off! Then they are looking as if you did something to them. These are so called grown people. I've been bullied because of my religion and religious beliefs that I don't automatically share until someone asks me why I don't do this or that, or I was being bullied because of my work ethic (can you believe this?)....just because I was concerned about getting my work done properly, then I've been bullied within religious congregations because I was quiet or nice and thought they could just covertly bully me and get away with it, or I've been bullied because of physical appearance - I don't look my age or I'm thin or because of the way I dress and even at one point because I was a single mother who owned a home and once I married I had single females bully me because now I was married. What's so killing about it, I'm not thinking any of this stuff, just going about my way. I even had a woman tell me she thought of me as a sister until she found out my age and that I had a daughter that's in her 20's. She then said now I don't like you and jealous. Can you imagine???? The only thing I applaud this woman on is that she was honest. Others will just bully you and make snide remarks because of their insecurities. There are so many insecure people...you find them at every turn now. SAD!!!
Cold. Right on!
Don't be cold to anyone. Everyone doesn't have to like you. My sister is the meanest person I know, but she nice to everyone that's not me. She doesn't have to love her family or anyone else and neither does anyone else.
Marie, I have a woman at work that is trying to get me fired. She will lie and do evil stuff to me to make me look bad to the Supervisors. Your video has helped me some and I will watch your others. My blood boils when I'm falsely accused of something and my face shows it. Thanks.
They actually take pleasure in knowing that you can see how nice they are being to others and how mean they are to you. If that's not evil, I don't know what is. I can't take pleasure in doing it to them. It's too evil.
Flyah, remember, people will make their own decisions. They won't listen to this person. Gravitate towards people who have nice kind faces. Seriously, those are the ones who genuinely care. You will find them. And with those people, your real friends, you can be yourself.
You’re wonderful!! I love all your videos!!
I love how clear and simple your directions are to follow. when I was a kid this happened to me even now it happens. I'm cordial not friendly oh, and I feed those people with a long spoon. I love your advice
Narcissist?
I really wanted to say I have seen some many ppl like that in my life. thx for the info.
This video helped a lot. A girl
that went to my school and then left is being really mean to me. And she keeps saying she is getting bullied by me. She actually lied and said I have dyslexia and people said that I am really stupid and that I should go to another school. She also steals my lunch and I would be starving thro out the day. This is so helpful. I’m taking your advice. 😃😃
Love the clothes, love the straight hair. What to do about people who don't like you is my favorite haircut on you.
this is what my mom did to me. and she badmouthed me to everyone behind my back just to get attention and get people to feel sorry for her. So everyone thought she was a really nice woman, but she treated me like an unwanted step child. :o(
Why is it that no one likes me but they like everyone else?... And everyone likes them?... I never did anything to them, and I don’t know them... they only do this to me... and everyone else that likes them... I want to give up on life... 😭😖
Great advice Marie! Your videos are so helpful.
Thanks!!! Needed this today!
My narc mom was like this. She treated me like a stepchild and not her biological daughter. She treated everyone else like gold but she treated me like dirt. She is gone now! Thank God!
this always happens to me :(
omg, I love you. You're like my own pocket encourager. Thank you so much!!!
Thank you for your helpful and insightful advice.
It’s so hard to be nice. I am cordial and nice in a crowd but when we’re alone, she asks me what I think about so and so. She gossips. The sad part is she’s my cousin and I make it so I don’t want her around me but she makes it a point to sit next to me. She acts real nice around others when conversing with them and when I ask her a question she literally hisses at me. She has talked about my sister and my brother in law’s finances and even gets upset that I don’t care about that info. She talks about other family stuff which annoys me. Honestly, talking about her riled me up. I don’t even want to go to family parties if she’s there. Sad, isn’t it? My mom was the one that opened my eyes on my cousin’s badmouthing dilemma. Yet mom talks to her now like she’s all goody two shoes. We’re in our adult age with kids. Am I being childish? 🙁
Literally my high school life.
I would just be sitting there at lunch time, minding my own business. Then some girl would be all up in my business just because I was sitting near her.
Marie, you are so like able from what videos Ive seen thus far, and because of your sweet counsel to others, I would like to share this nice counsel that helps me to benefit you also. Put on the whole armor of God (scripture) "and the shield of faith shall quench all the firey darts of the wicked."
A female manager I work for is like this. She keeps blaming me when something is not done correctly, even though some of these things were done by her and I have pointed that out to her. Over time, I have gotten a lot better at my job and very rarely makes mistakes but she is still the same. She is really condescending and talks down to me and always acts really irritated when we have to work together, but then as soon as someone else comes along she is super nice, charming, acts like their best friend and I always end up feeling like she's gaslighting me or playing mind games. All I can do is limit the time I'm around her and stay out of her way because she's made it really clear through her behavior that I'm her biggest enemy, even though I haven't done anything to her
Also, what do I do when they are making themselves look good on MY behalf? For example if they "dislike my face" (hate me for no reason) and tell other people to stay away from me because I am a "horrible person", but then towards other people ("clients" of theirs, basically) they act as if they care about my well-being?
I would really appreciate some info on that, since I'm an Aspi and have a lot of questions about "how to do things best" (basically in a way to be happiest).
2/2
A lot of the time the way someone acts ,has othing to do with you being mean and nasty is who they are ,. Move on. ....
Yep. They are afraid that people will see how messed up they are as a person so throwing you under the bus is easier
@@thcu Exactly! That sounds like a lot of people I know.
redvelvet, you say that you come out of your shell and become your bubbly self when people get to know you. So, try to get to know him. Talk to him when you can. If you approach him even once, I bet he will come up to you the next time.
I've had some at my work today and you absolutely helped me out. I trully tend to react and be as nasty but outside I am kind and equilibrated. Thank you.
Lucas, so glad I could help! Makes my day.
good advice, im goin through this crap now, thanks!! gonna take ur advice =)
@ Marie Dubuque: Liked and subscribed! Thank you for this insight. So much energy is wasted trying to understand the reasons for putting others down. Regardless of why, it boils down to their feeling better about themselves at your expense. I was diagnosed with a type of Cognitive Distortion, and people that puzzle (and frustrate) me generally, are mean and insecure no matter how kind you are to them.
Well put, thank you!
I kind of do need to know, because it's happening quite frequently. I had begun to think that maybe there's some sort of wound in me that's bringing out the "poison" in others? It's starting to really get to me. It's like there's this negative cycle or pattern that I can't figure out how to leave! The past 2 years I've been doing a lot of emotional, spiritual, and psychological healing work and reflection. I had been suffering with a lot of emotional flashbacks (CPTSD,) but other than that I've found that I give too much and am too nice when compared to the majority of the local population.
Story of my life!!! super mean to me...but everyone else's "mother'...right. You come across like a person they don't like.
I was going through a lot of stress for several years. I had to rid myself of a toxic friendship but I didn’t let any of our mutual friends know. One day I snapped at the toxic person. Several ladies were were angry with me. They said some hurtful things: I ended the friendships, but it took me a long time to forgive. But now I can cold but polite when I see them. Or I avoid being around them. What else hurt is they became friends with a really obnoxious lady who couldn’t stand the same toxic person I ended the friendship with, and she let everyone know it.
Same here, I ended 3 of my life long friendships and have nothing to do with them! I don't need there nasty ju ju . Much happier now! Less drama, it's been a year.
Ella, talk to the teacher. She will understand, and probably take them down sooner.
I hate these kinds of people and they hate when you say something to them about it.
This is happening to me right now. At my new workplace there is a lady that started hating me after I stood up to her to refuse her dressing code advice. It turned out she was jealous of my me because she started crying, and shouting that she is fat, she doesn't have clothes and that I get paid more than her. I don't understand where she got info about my pay. Now she is trying by all means to embarrass me in meetings and other work gatherings. I will be trying my best to react your way from now on.
To fight fire with fire is existing on the same level of misery they exist on.
The mean person doesn't only be mean to you and he/she can show nicely in front of other people but not privately with you, super fake!
I have a husband like this
yeah yeah my brother don't remind me eny more
Hashe-Erdene, first of all, I wouldn't speak at all to his aunt. I mean, sure, when he is around and you are at a family gathering. But I wouldn't call to talk with her specifically. He might feel as if he owes her,it sounds like she is a mother figure to him. But that should not allow her to control your life. There is nothing you can do about his graduation date. But after that, when he is more financially independent, he might pull away from her. If he doesn't talk to him about it, not her.
Sometimes I think they keep poking at us when we don't respond, if they can get us to become out of control, then they feel justified for all the other mean things they have done in the past toward us.
Favoritizm is what plagues them. . .
What if they're a bully? Is it always advisable to be passive with bullies?
Lucky me, I’m retired, got lovely family and friends, so to the Aholes I say “go fund yourself” 😆 Love from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you for coming to my channel from so far away, wish I were there!
I'm going through this With my dad. I'm trying to take over the family company. I work with him a lot and he undermines, acts like I annoy him when I ask him a question, just talks down to me like if I'm dumb he has an anger problem and just throws fits for whatever but when somebody else comes around he's smiling at them and talking to them like their friends and then he turns around and just talks down to me. I hate that so much
How about how to deal with people who pretend they like you but deep down cannot stand your guts can you make a video on that please?
Hi everyone..i need help as soon as possible,my mom have toxic goiter,the doctor told us that my mom need for an operation..i dont know who can help me
Not gunna cap I’m pretty sure ppl just be jealous of me because I get everything handed to me
I know these things, but I really needed a reminder today. Thank you! :)
I wish I had seen this three years ago. I had to leave my job cos I just broke down after someone like this came in at work and did this. More extreme of course but I was not mature enough to realise that it was because I (23 at the time) got the promotion she, 45, had applied for.
I mean in hindsight I'm glad of where I am in life now BUT more ppl would be spared a lot of paoin if they just had someone like you to make them realise it's NOT their fault for others bad behaviour.
Thank you.
this person at work was mean too a lot....I rarely talk to her...then all of a sudden she wants me to switch shift with her....I said yes....I told I like the over night better....she's happy and so am I
Here's my situation... I have an older brother and sister in law who despise me, y? I have a few ideas but really dont give a rats ass. I have a younger sister whom they love to pieces, me? uh hell no.. i get treated like shit. I hate speaking to them, I avoid them at all costs. I am to the point where I dont want to be around them for Mothers / Fathers Day, Thanksgiving, you name it. This is sad. I am in my mid 50's and dont feel like I should have to explain myself to them if I dont want to be around them. When I am around them they dont speak to me anyway, so my thought is whats the point of going? Here's my other thought... if you dont want me around, say so, if you dont like me and still dont want to be around me fucking say so. I'm over it. I have walked out before and didnt speak to anyone for a while, I am at the point where I will walk out again only to never return or be heard from ever again.
Thank you Marie
jessie, don't share your candy with her unless she is nice to you all the time! Not just once every other day. Demand to be treated well. And if she is the least bit rude to you, don't even give her the time of day. Otherwise, you are condoning her behavior. It's not that she doesn't like you...she is playing games. Don't get sucked into that. Otherwise, she will continue to be a drama queen, and get away with it.
I have a best friend is is a boy was call him perro and when ever someone push me he would beat that person up (like my bully)
we would be very close until.. he become violence to me and nasty thing like "I watch po rn" and he young and he would say bad words to me... I cried some nights. I told him "WHY ARE U SAYING THAT WHY ARE U NOT NICE TO BE ANYMORE" he reply " it not my fault my friend taught me to do that.
A long time ago perro like my sis then they love each other until my sis didn't like him because the same problem like mine, so I talk to perro my sis no like u and I teach him to stop bully by their looks and be nice and perro didn't like my sis anymore me and him began to talk a lot then mean to me he kept changing. I realize you can't change that person only they can. I miss the old perro still bully...making people mad...
we had a protect and me and my BFF we were working on it until he wanted to join and he only let us do the work and him playing around and tomorrow I need to preesent my protect AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.And he said I don't care he said. fell sad I wanted to say you don't care if we kick u out and u get a D btw we would get lower grade also bc of him.
perro would always take my food away except other and he would ask it nice. what did I did to deserve it what made him change right now I crying someone please help me T^T thank you for reading this.