Family goes to HAWAII on a SECRET VACTION, INTENTIONALLY leaving me OUT of THEIR PLANS
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- Опубликовано: 15 июл 2024
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0:00 Entitled Family went on a secret vacation to Hawaii without me, intentionally deciding to leave me out of their plans. (u/Delicious-Canary7300)
5:43 Am I the Jerk for refusing to make lasagna after the way my mother-in-law acting last year during Christmas? (u/Impressive_Peace6778)
9:10 My fiancé was caught on camera cheating on me the night of her bachelorette party, and now I am calling off the wedding. (u/throwRAbrokenandlost)
16:02 Am I the Jerk for telling on a coach and getting him fired for trying to get me hurt during a game, on purpose? (u/UHaveAnSTI)
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Oki
How did you write this 6 days ago if this came out 2 hours ago-
Honestly I'd be mad too, if my family deliberately left me out of a family VACTION
I feel so bad for the first person. Feeling unwanted by even your own family is bad enough when you’re just imagining it, let alone when they seem to be going out of their way to deliberately exclude her.
1st story: I know how OP feels, my family has all kinds of family reunions, gatherings and vacations together and then ask me why I didn't come?
I say I would've come IF ANYONE HAD TOLD ME ABOUT IT. Nobody ever tells me about these family events and nobody tells me.
If I were him, I would've sold their house and fled the country
after that blatant disregard i would've cut contact/lowered contact with all of them that went to that vacation. They don't want to spend time with you or even talk with them, then they can figure out why they don't have a relationship 10-15 years down the line
Story 1: I wouldn't talk to people like that... I am short tempered and such toxicity would earn a box if I am in front of you
I know exactly how OP feels in story 1, my former family did much the same thing without the excuse of me being far away, I was 30 miles away.
Final story: I suspect this wasn't the first time that opposing coach did something like that, and your incident was the last straw.
Just don’t try to connect anymore, send them pictures of their “souvenirs” in the trash and tell them to stop sending you that useless junk. Even if you love them it will just keep hurting you more and more to see them not meeting expectations and you don’t need that stress if your going back to school
For the lasagna story: Completely ageee. Make the lasagna IF the MIL publicly apologizes. She disrespected you in front of everyone and had a temper tantrum.
For the cheating Bachelorette: getting drunk lowers your inhibitions, it doesn't make you do things you'd "never do". I have a feeling that if they got married, when times got rough she would be more likely to cheat later and have the same excuses. If she can't be faithful to you literally right before you get married, she probably won't after.
Even if she did apologize, how sincere would it be?
Las: I feel like there's more to the story than the Op is letting on or even aware of. Because why would you make your own lasagna when you know someone else is bringing one and you know the reason the MIL wants another go.
Bachelorette story update:
"The update is pretty simple. Everything has been called off and cancelled. The wedding is officially not happening, I got the ring back and all of her stuff is moved out. She is staying with her parents for now. We did talk a little bit. It was mostly just her begging and apologizing and crying. She keeps insisting that all she did was kiss the guys. And she has never done anything like this before and she promises it will never happen again. Part of me really wanted to believe her but the problem is that this incident puts our entire relationship in doubt, I think she may be telling the truth but again the point is there is no way to know. If it is true that her friends pressured her to do it then how can I believe they never did it before. We kept going around in circles because ultimately there is just no way I can be sure. She said she would do anything including cutting off her friends and only ever drink around me. She really blasted her friends online saying if it the party had stuck to the original plan she would still be getting married so maybe she already cut them off. All I can say is that at the moment I am single and I’m just going to live my life. Probably take some time to myself after getting out of a four year relationship. What’s crazy is that a couple of her friends are also texting me ‘just to talk’. I haven’t responded yet because well it’s hard to trust them to. Thanks again to everyone who expressed sympathy and I hope none of you here need to deal with anything like this in the future."
I would not trust any of them ever ... She cheating right before wedding just shows she's not trustworthy
@@krozz1 On top of this being drunk doesn’t make you do shit you would “never do”. If times got tough 100% she’d cheat on him then at a bar or club or casino or somewhere else that servers alcoholic beverages and use the “I was drunk” excuse then. OP dodged a major bullet on this one
The mother in law really needs to look up the definition of vindictive. The irony is almost painful. And if the family believes in keeping the peace, they’d shut the mother down. They just want to placate her so they don’t have to put up with her tantrums instead of holding her accountable
He deserves to be fired. He ordered someone to assault the OP. Game or otherwise, that was assault and they should both be held responsible. Forget his job, he deserves to be charged. Depending on age, he may have conspired to assault a minor
It's like that girls only vacation for that one op. He got left out of everything. Birthdays, holidays, and vacations because he was the only boy in the family. Which is disgusting because we all know they only left him out just show they all can have drunk girl parties or talk woman troubles a man can never get. No wonder a man stayed in the family.
I hope op find a found family and get away from toxic people.
He already abandoned them by going to Europe. Honestly sounds like a family finally happy away from someone who, to this point, hasn't actually been active in the family anyways.
@@SeanWinters What a weird perspective, that someone studying in another country deserves to be exiled permanently. Is it Europe specifically which causes this reaction? Would OP deserve to be kept in their group discussions if they had gone to Canada or is the mere fact of stepping on a plane an act of treason?
for story 3, the ex is a people pleaser to her friends. I’d like to know how many times she was convinced to cheat on op within those 7 years up to now. If I was op, I would’ve blocked her and her friends besides the one who shared the video as soon as I left. Girl friend groups are toxic to relationships.
I absolutely agree a lasagna is not cheap to make it cost about 35 maybe $40 to make
For the first video: Op’s family are a bunch of A H’s! If that’s how Op’s family is going to treat op, then op needs to go no contact with them. Sad thing is, is that it will prob be a long time before they even notice.
The one with the cheater before the wedding-Run, op, run!!!
The last one ticked me off! The coach definitely deserves to be fired! But that witch who tried to take op out of the game should be kicked out too! She should not be allowed to ever play again! Thanks to that scum of a coach she is going to have it in her head that this kind of crap is acceptable and may or will do this to other players and believe she can get away with it. Op needs to press charges not just on the coach but on this player too!
the cheating finacee has an update to this story
Story one OP as lived in Europe for seven years, how? An American would need a visa to work, and a different one to study, something is being missed out of this story, also folk seem to gloss over the fact OP is anywhere from 3000 to 6000 miles away, he/she also refers to his/her country that sound like a permanent relocation, so not that close to the family, besides what's the big deal going to Hawaii, perfect weather, glorious beaches, Crystal clear oceans and an ABC store on nearly every corner is hardly a good reason to call out your family just because they are living their lives, just like OP is over here!
Lasagna: MIL did not make a mistake, rather she showed that she is jealous. Husband needs to understand this.
That said IMO he is correct that OP should make the lasagna. Take the high road and don’t get a headache.
Soccer / Football story:
Na-ah. That guy can provide for his kids somewhere else. He can not hide behind them and use them as an excuse.
Story 1: My family may be vindictive and hateful, but even THEY wouldn’t do that to me. And my still living 105 year old grandmother is as mean as they come, but even she wouldn’t do this. The amount of gaslighting from the family is ridiculous.
Story 2: NTA. “Be the bigger person” and “Keep the peace” really just means to be a doormat. The husband is terrible for failing to take OP’s side.
Story 3: For shame! OP is right to call it all off. No excuse for cheating! Kudos to the mutual friend for having OP’s back. Do not give her a second chance. Do tell everyone the reason and share the evidence.
Story 4: NTA. Unsportsmanlike conduct! Someone could have been seriously hurt. He should not be a coach for encouraging bad sportsmanship.
OP should buy a family sized frozen lasagne, bake it and take it to the Christmas party.
YESSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel bad for op that his family left him behind to go on trips and cruises.
i hope that he decides to pop out and go to hawaii to surprise them.
Family's a crazy one
Story 1: OP needs to go NC. Family does not love them. OP is better off without people who can't even let them into a family group chat
If you did know about it and you try to surprise them by being there they probably get upset and make up some excuse why you surprising them would have been wrong thing to do
Last story) OP is not the jerk. The coach ordered his player to target the OP specifically, he would not get fired over one incident like this, at most he would get a warnkng or suspension but the fact he was fired means he probably already had previous warnings and was on thin ice to start with, the OP's complaint was probably what lit the fuse on the cannon but other people's complaint put the powder and plug in and he climbed in willingly by doing what he did. So the only person the ex-coach has to blame is himself.😊
Damn what a rotten coach... // Jerry from Sweden.
Guy with the fiancee who cheated on him before wedding, I'm very sorry. She cheated on you. I would not marry her after that. Say what she will, defend as she might, at the end of the day she hurt you! It is all on her and all the guilty people who helped her. Get rid of the bunch, and heal yourself!
Story 1
Out of sight, out of mind. OP is no longer part of the "family".
Tbh, it's for the best since that family sounds like they suck
Story 3:
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Dump her, heal, move forward
Story 4:
So basically Karate Kid IRL. Fuck that coach, he had it coming
Your 2 & 3 are actually 3 & 4
@@CreatingArt3185 oops, thank you
for the third story it actually brings me back to a memory of my own. how is actually the best man for a buddy of mine he was getting ready to get married. I was actually a good friends with both him and his soon to be bright at that time. she came to me kind of took me off to the side and said that she was very glad that I was going to be the one hosting the bachelor party because she knew that nothing unfortunate would happen. I managed to talk to the pastor of a local church for the bachelor party. they actually had a projector that they use for projecting the music onto a screen. I hook the projector up to some video game systems and we had a gigantic screen TV for playing video games, eating junk food, pizza, all that kind of stuff. the kind of things actual bachelors do. we had a wonderful night. just a bunch of friends gathering together. that's okay. care of all the food was the one who brought my video game systems all the games. it was just an amazing night, although admittedly I didn't let the groom beat me at the fighting games. I mean a man has to have some standards
for the lasagna one i would gave said "well, according to you, you should make it because then it might get more eaten.
story 3 op should stay away is clear the ex was planning to cheat and tired to act like it would be fun to have the party's i fell bad for op
Time to just ditch them and tell them off and never chat with them, family sucks.
Story 4: I'm wondering if the player that hurt the op got punished as well. Sure, the coach gave the order, but she also listened.
Story 3:
For me, it'd be a wrap, no apologizing would console my rage at this. To me, cheating is unforgivable. That being said, the alcohol factor makes it worse. Why? Because the effect of alcohol inhibits the prefrontal cortex. What does that mean? The prefrontal cortex is the logic center of the brain that reasons why tonot do something. In other words, it is the part of the brain that gives you boundaries that prohibits you from giving in, to your base desires. Thus, her base desire from the onset was to cheat in the first place. Therefore, it is "no bueno".
Story 1 people make time for what they want.
as someone who lives in hawaii this caught my attention quickly. the family are jerks though
The ex fiance isnt upset she cheated. Shes upset she got caught doing so.
I would be in jail. This happened to me second story.
Damn
Story 1: Unfortunately, it sounds like your family wants nothing to do with you anymore because... reasons. Therefore, I would go NC on all of them.
Story 2: Don't make the lasagna again until MIL publicly apologizes about her tantrum the previous year. Also, definitely sit your hubby down and let him know that he needs to be backing you up.
Story 3: Definitely do not take her back. Clearly she wanted to treat that party as a "last night of freedom" party. I also blame her Maid of Honor. She clearly got into her head and convinced her that you're no good and you should go with one of these other dudes instead.
Story 4: Him getting fired wasn't your fault. I feel sorry for his kids, but... he brought it on himself. He just never figured he would have to face any consequences.
I have to say, what’s the story about the girl getting the coach fired? I’m kind of on the fence about. Because one she didn’t hear what the coach said and I don’t know what sport they’re playing they don’t ever say. But it sounds like the original poster was guarding or whatever I’m not a sports person but from what I do know someone that’s keeping the ball away at all times whether it’s football or basketball or even hockey yeah you shouldn’t hurt them but you’re going to want to try to do what you can so the fact that we don’t exactly know what that coach said I am not send original poster in that story is a jerk. But I also think there’s no evidence showing that he said do this and get her out of the game permanently.
Just buy one and leave it in the pan
Second story I’d make the lasagna a lasagna for ONE YOU then you can go to her stupid party as technically you have lasagna in hand per her request
Don't make the lasagna
Hi
Second story? My God this dude is acting like she fucked him on the bar, it was a kiss at a bachelorette party, he needs to chill his ass down. "cheating" this is what breaks you after 7 years togeather?... sad
The lasagna story. Yeah f them.
Wow story 1 sucks for the OP
Wedding story. Very suspicious. I wonder who got her so drunk. I wonder who encountered the kissing. I wonder who took the video. Pretty obvious really.
But, why???
As of, putting this here, no one has finished the video, they will finish it in 2 mins.
Now one minute (saying this 26 seconds later.)
And 1 minute later, they have.
Uh
Hallo
Story 1: That family is completely toxic. For them to act like that cause OP moved out the country is messed up.
Is the narrator an ai? Been getting vibes after years of hearing him talk. 😅
I mean, if you were "going to school" in Europe with "plenty of free time", you've already made the decision to separate yourself from the family. Are any of his siblings in Europe? Did anyone make him go to Europe?
Look, I'd be upset too, but it's not at all unreasonable to not expect to go to Hawaii on a last minute trip when you're in Europe, essentially living in your own world.
For Story 3 I think OP went way to far. Yes it is ok to not being happy about the kiss, but to break things off for that is a bit extreme. So ESH
He made a clear boundary with her. She broke that boundary. He no longer wants anything to do with her.
This is just the consequences of her actions- he had EVERY right to break things off between them over that. Literally HOW is that extreme???!
Is not your brother is your parents because they will booked tickets mouths in advance. When you asked your do same thing to bust you to too hard.
a
10th
1st
Second
the lasagna story I would make the lasagna but it would be extra bad so that no one would like it and if they said it wouldn't taste good I would just say you said I should make lasagna not that it has to taste great
FIRST LIKE YEEEEEEEEEEES YEEEEEEEEEEES YEEEEEEEEEEES YEEEEEEEEEEES YEEEEEEEEEEES OH MY GOD BWOHAHAHAA YEEEEEEEEEEES
@geoclimer1 Sorry to break it to you but i liked After 26 seconds the video was published and It showed that i was First like.
Story 1: 🍑🕳️-ish. You're grown and live outside on the country. Meet someone and build your own family. When someone lives away it's hard to include them in everything. I moved away from my family, I find out my mom was in the hospital and had surgery. Found out they went down south for a family reunion. 🤷🏿♂️ Life moves on when u move away
Story 1: OP needs to get over it.. they're an adult
Story 3: OP knew what those parties are for... And still agreed.. it's on him.
No it's not his finance wanted a party so she cheated