Dan: ‘You know I missed Flèche Wallone and Liege Bastogne Liege because of your birth.’ Jude: ‘Well, I hope it was more scenic than the back of the broom wagon.’
I've been in multiple mountain bike races where I seriously considered letting the air out of my tire. Thanks Simon, for giving me the courage to try it next time.
I have a great story for you GCN. On Monday I was meeting my local group to do a group ride, on my way I stopped at some traffic lights and was shot in the bottom by an air rifle from a balcony. I pulled over to alert the police about the incident and arrived late for the ride, however later on I visited hospital to find I had rode with the pellet still lodged 2cm deep in my bottom! Strangest cycling injury ever!
I will admit, having to attend to the needs of my beloved children is plainly why the Peugeot team graciously excused me from having to ride Liège-Bastogne-Liège this year. Those people claiming that I'm "almost twice the weight of a pro rider" or that I "don't even have any kids anyway" just demonstrate the kind of small-minded envy that gives cycling a bad name. Now pass me that other doughnut, will you?
The fake mechanical reminds me of Graeme Obree. In his book, he talks about him racing a 25 mile time trial with severe depression. Might have been a national champs. One of his darker days. Half way through he stopped and started fidgeting with his callipers and claimed they were misaligned and slowing him down, so he would have an excuse for failing when expectations were so high. He got to the next timer to be told he was still something like 16 seconds up on the next favourite. He'd ridden one of the fastest time trials ever on that course. Ended up coming second by only a few seconds iirc. The human mind, eh? You're in good company, Si!
'This is my first ride of the year' 'I'm undertrained' 'not used to hills, I live in flat area'. My excuses for this year. In my defense i hardly trained this year...
Instead of excuses to nót go cycling, how about a vid with excuses to gó cycling! Just so we don't have to hear: Are you going cycling again?!?!? (From our partners) Tip: "I won't have a pint afterwards" works only if never abused... Grtz & keep up the good work! 🚴♂️
So funny, again! I normally try to watch while having my Wednesday breakfast. This time it was at lunch. Had to get a cloth and clean (ugh!) the screen of my Mac after a laughing fit! What a team you two are!
'my friend' made us pull over on a climb once using the excuse that he hadn't drank enough water that morning and his heart rate was going too high. He said he was worried that he might pass out and fall off the side.
I have a great excuse for cutting this balmy evenings spin short. Before setting off. 1. Cleat needed replacing, did both at the same time - 30 minutes. 2. Pumping up tyres and the rear would not hold more than 60 psi, slow puncture. 3. Set about putting sealant in tyre. Fresh bottle of sealant was half dried up and served only to gum up the valve stem and valve extender. 10 minutes of faffing around with paper clips trying to get a ball of sealant out of the valve extender so I could get some air in the tyre. After another 10 minutes finally got enough air in the tyre so off I went. 4. After about 4 miles sealant fails and air starts coming out of the rear tyre. 4. Attempted to get more air in using the mini pump but the chuck won't grip the valve and pops off when a half decent amount of air gets into the tyre. The valve extender is preventing it getting a grip. 5. Turn around and get home slowly. 6. Blame technology and sulk.
28:00 The fact that the hairpin has rusted means it wasn’t a “get me home” bodge but a truly terrifying multiple-ride “repair”. Seriously, seriously bad idea.
HAH! Unfortunately I do rest days on my group rides, I am still the fastest. Then again that is what I get for riding with a bunch of old military veterans, being a much younger one.
GCN. I want to know how much SunnyD Simon drank in between him saying "Pop your name down" and Tech of the week!? Si went from white to orange in just a matter of seconds! hahahaha!
My excuse. I'm older now. Like Matt Shephens kind of old. So it's too windy, wet, cold, long, hilly. Then I follow up with "oh yeah, I'd have done a ride like that 20 years ago but now I'm too old for that sort of business now" works every time.
CAPTION: Chris Froome to the T-rex: "May your leg power transfer to mine, May your predator instinct allow me to prey on the men in pink, May........" Simon Yates: "Holy! I hope T-rex is colour-blind"
Caption: Team Sky announcing their new sponsorship with the Jurassic Park merchandise; Rumors have it that Chris Froome might get involved as an actor after the mild cycling performance at the Giro
Regarding the brake Bodge you showed today. Brakes are one of the few things you never want to Bodge. You could become unstoppable, and not in a good way.
Dan should have used the excuse "couldn't find anywhere to park the car" for that scene from B-o-A, I would have to use "couldn't find the key to the garage" as I am only 250m from that point..... I might let him park on my drive next time ;-)
The dumbest excuse one of my mates tried to use was that he was late because he had to go all over town to find croissants as they were sold out at the local bakery. He couldn´t show up for a sunday groupride without having one.
Let us know what your cycling excuses are! 👇
Global Cycling Network that my friends have messed with my tyre pressures but that's normally true 😂
Cramps.
After every single KOM-attempt: "I´ve never experienced worse headwind"
I forgot to eat!
My bike is shit. Thats why I ride like shit.. Gcn can you buy me a road bike please
Dan: ‘You know I missed Flèche Wallone and Liege Bastogne Liege because of your birth.’
Jude: ‘Well, I hope it was more scenic than the back of the broom wagon.’
Caption
"Get that dinosaur off the road!!"
"Hey have some respect, he might be old but he's won 4 tours de France"
I think Dan's CC should actually win this week; it was brilliant.
My mate once said he got lucky the night before and his fruits were a bit achy so was struggling sitting on the saddle. I had no pity for him.
You make cycling better guys. Keep trying. So elegant way of accepting defeat. I hope you win a grand tour soon.
Caption: I dino if there is enough Froome on this road for the both of us.
Tim Bishop winner right there.
/agreed. I'm not going to even comment a caption after reading it.
M4X, post it anyway, you never know what they will pick. Plus, I would like to read it. The more captions, the better!
M4X THR0TT1E Tim Bishop is right. You never know...
darn it, now I feel obligated. LOL
I've been in multiple mountain bike races where I seriously considered letting the air out of my tire. Thanks Simon, for giving me the courage to try it next time.
I have a great story for you GCN.
On Monday I was meeting my local group to do a group ride, on my way I stopped at some traffic lights and was shot in the bottom by an air rifle from a balcony. I pulled over to alert the police about the incident and arrived late for the ride, however later on I visited hospital to find I had rode with the pellet still lodged 2cm deep in my bottom!
Strangest cycling injury ever!
Dan wins the caption hands down
About time 😉
I will admit, having to attend to the needs of my beloved children is plainly why the Peugeot team graciously excused me from having to ride Liège-Bastogne-Liège this year. Those people claiming that I'm "almost twice the weight of a pro rider" or that I "don't even have any kids anyway" just demonstrate the kind of small-minded envy that gives cycling a bad name. Now pass me that other doughnut, will you?
And as for the insinuation that Peugeot "hasn't had a team since the eighties", _well_. Pure jealousy.
Poor Dan... We might just all buy a single beer for him each as a token of appreciation for his efforts.
Simon sways, "Unraveling faster than Chris Froome at the Giro d' Italia." Now THAT is funny!
Excuse: "Oh my word I'm sorry I forgot again but today is my recovery day!"
CAPTION: Look... it's the very rare Salbutasaurus.
Yep. Probably hard for GCN to choose it...and then ask Froome for an interview later. But I'm just trying to make all of you laugh...
The fake mechanical reminds me of Graeme Obree. In his book, he talks about him racing a 25 mile time trial with severe depression. Might have been a national champs. One of his darker days.
Half way through he stopped and started fidgeting with his callipers and claimed they were misaligned and slowing him down, so he would have an excuse for failing when expectations were so high. He got to the next timer to be told he was still something like 16 seconds up on the next favourite. He'd ridden one of the fastest time trials ever on that course.
Ended up coming second by only a few seconds iirc. The human mind, eh?
You're in good company, Si!
Them singing happy birthday is so much worse than I imagined.
T-Rex: My arms are bigger than yours and I’m faster. Froome: Get out a here mate
Nice to see you figured out the lighting for the Wiggle of Fortune this week. Top work! 👍🏻
I did my first century last week and every time I managed to clip in first try i yelled "I'M IN" for Matt.
17:22 SO close to losing it into that pot hole too, if only! He had to unclip XD
Caption: Though he’s becoming a bit of a senior, Froome refuses to be mixed up with the other dinosaurs.
That rendition of Happy Birthday sounds like it was around a late-night campfire and someone just brought the chips and tacos and cookies and donuts.
'This is my first ride of the year' 'I'm undertrained' 'not used to hills, I live in flat area'. My excuses for this year. In my defense i hardly trained this year...
Caption: Froome: No, I may not be as good as I have been lately, but I'm not that old yet.
Instead of excuses to nót go cycling, how about a vid with excuses to gó cycling! Just so we don't have to hear: Are you going cycling again?!?!? (From our partners)
Tip: "I won't have a pint afterwards" works only if never abused... Grtz & keep up the good work! 🚴♂️
CAPTION: TUE after insect bite illustrated: little bug - 5 days with prednisolone pills, big bug - mega dope.
‘I don’t have any mudguards, I’m just looking out for everyone else!’
So funny, again! I normally try to watch while having my Wednesday breakfast. This time it was at lunch. Had to get a cloth and clean (ugh!) the screen of my Mac after a laughing fit! What a team you two are!
"Today i got my training tires on!"
"I didn't have my coffee today!"
"My rear brake is definitely rubbing"
Haha, how many times do you use those Calvin!?
Actually never, but i would use them if too many would overtake me(which doesn't happen that often unfortunately). Mainly time trialists.
'my friend' made us pull over on a climb once using the excuse that he hadn't drank enough water that morning and his heart rate was going too high. He said he was worried that he might pass out and fall off the side.
I have a great excuse for cutting this balmy evenings spin short. Before setting off. 1. Cleat needed replacing, did both at the same time - 30 minutes. 2. Pumping up tyres and the rear would not hold more than 60 psi, slow puncture. 3. Set about putting sealant in tyre. Fresh bottle of sealant was half dried up and served only to gum up the valve stem and valve extender. 10 minutes of faffing around with paper clips trying to get a ball of sealant out of the valve extender so I could get some air in the tyre. After another 10 minutes finally got enough air in the tyre so off I went. 4. After about 4 miles sealant fails and air starts coming out of the rear tyre. 4. Attempted to get more air in using the mini pump but the chuck won't grip the valve and pops off when a half decent amount of air gets into the tyre. The valve extender is preventing it getting a grip. 5. Turn around and get home slowly. 6. Blame technology and sulk.
You are a bore
CAPTION: Glad to see Froome doing well after his Tyrannosaurus Wreck (stage 1 preview)
28:00 The fact that the hairpin has rusted means it wasn’t a “get me home” bodge but a truly terrifying multiple-ride “repair”. Seriously, seriously bad idea.
T-Rex: "Oh, is that a new prototype Dino-Sys rear mech?"
Caption - The classic pro rider physique, the T Rex. Strong legs and weedy little arms!
#1 excuse when I'm about to fall off the back of the group ride . . . "Today is my recovery day!"
How many times have you used that one Dave!?
HAH! Unfortunately I do rest days on my group rides, I am still the fastest. Then again that is what I get for riding with a bunch of old military veterans, being a much younger one.
Caption: Giro’ssic Park
"Things were unraveling faster than Chris Froome at the Giro D'italia"
hah!
Hahaha someone had a really serious talk with Dan about the beer bit of the Wiggle of fortune... just look how serious he is today
Caption: Quintanasaurus Rex has made a surprise appearance at this year's Giro in a desperate attempt to unsettle Froomey
Caption of the week: Lance had "Motoman", Froome has "T-Rex".
LOL Dan, that was the best caption by a presenter yet!
but no time for an Xtreme corner?
CAPTION: Hey, look! It's an intimidating, powerful, aggressive carnivore. And a guy dressed like a T-Rex.
Best Excuse... "something happened to my GPS and/or home computer and therefore the ride(s) I did last week are not on Strava"
CAPTION:
Commentator 1: "I don't think those are supposed to be on the route."
Commentator 2: "Maybe salbutamol does cause reptile dysfunction."
GCN. I want to know how much SunnyD Simon drank in between him saying "Pop your name down" and Tech of the week!?
Si went from white to orange in just a matter of seconds! hahahaha!
Best in a long while! Thanks for the chemistry - you rock!
Thanks Peter!
My excuse. I'm older now. Like Matt Shephens kind of old. So it's too windy, wet, cold, long, hilly. Then I follow up with "oh yeah, I'd have done a ride like that 20 years ago but now I'm too old for that sort of business now" works every time.
CAPTION: Chris Froome to the T-rex: "May your leg power transfer to mine, May your predator instinct allow me to prey on the men in pink, May........" Simon Yates: "Holy! I hope T-rex is colour-blind"
Caption: Team Sky announcing their new sponsorship with the Jurassic Park merchandise; Rumors have it that Chris Froome might get involved as an actor after the mild cycling performance at the Giro
Texas A&M is the University Chad Haga went to. I’m proud to say I went there too. Gig’em!
2 beings, one an ancient creature, the other a dinosaur
Dan's caption was brilliant 👍🏻
I here the "I haven't ridden for a few weeks" excuse, a lot : )
Regarding the brake Bodge you showed today. Brakes are one of the few things you never want to Bodge. You could become unstoppable, and not in a good way.
Caption: A dinosaur? In a bike race? Must be a velo-ciraptor.
*Caption: There's only Froome for Pinarello, no room for T.Rex*
CAPTION - I’m surprised we haven’t seen a few more attacks from T-REX SEGEFREDO in this Giro
Caption: dinosaur:"they move in herds, they do move in herds"
Caption: Froomey is less than pleased about the teams plans to switch over to TREX next year
*cough* *cough* *cough* (multiple times at the start) “I think I’m coming down with a chest infection, take it easy mate”
I have an artificial left knee, so I can always just say it is stiffening up. I also have arthritis in the other knee. Bad knees are a great excuse.
I LOL-ed on Dan’s caption. 🤣
CAPTION
Poels: Chris, don't touch the t-rex
Froome: *touches t-rex*
Poels: that's it, you can keep yourself out of the wind!
Dropping the bunch: I didn’t have the stomach to eat as much as I wanted before the race, so i am empty
Team Sky decides to send a sticky dino up in an act of desperation for Froomey.
My front derailleur is purposefully adjusted so that if I nudge my shifter far enough, my chain pops off. It's my backup gear.
Caption: "Froome attacks...but wait, we do see a T-Rex-action from the chasing group..."
Dan someday you will win that beer
Darn, spoiled my fav part of the show :S
🍺
Dan should have used the excuse "couldn't find anywhere to park the car" for that scene from B-o-A, I would have to use "couldn't find the key to the garage" as I am only 250m from that point..... I might let him park on my drive next time ;-)
CAPTION :- Froomey knew he had to put in one monstrous attack to win on the Zoncolan
Caption: Chris Froome climbs Monte Zoncolan with unique gearing: 34-32T-Rex
CAPTION: T-rex warns froome . Better watch out for that BRONCHIA-SAURUS up ahead.
Steer clear! It might taste like chicken, but it might be chock full of Clenbuterol!
"Mate, there's already one dinosaur too many in this race."
caption: Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur. (just so Si has something to sing)
Megasore-arse, best presenter caption ever. I actually laughed at that one.
I don't need excuses for being late on group rides, because everyone knows that I'll be late :)
Caption: Dude this is not Jurassic Park set! Here we are shooting Forgetting AAF!
Caption: Froome took the Lars Boom approach to dealing with a rival from TRex Segafredo!
Caption: Watch out Chris Froome - You may cause a Tyrannosaurus Wreck!
Caption: You know it's in the bag when you continued to ride on after pushing the Z-Rex
Top cycling excuse in Scotland is wind. Also had a mate claiming the hills were too foggy on a rare Scottish sunny day....
Last year's TTT Pursuit at the Hammer Series was some of the best racing of the entire year.
Michael Woods, fast becoming my favourite cyclist...
Caption; even in retirement, Jens Voigt can't help but to attack the peloton.
CAPTION: T-wrecks plagued Froome throughout the Giro. He just couldn't avoid them.
Caption: Cycling fans in shock as Froome has a second adverse finding at the Giro
Caption: Gaimon’s retirement takes yet another setback.
Team Sky still hasn't given up their search for T Rex-apeutic exemptions
Caption: Froome meets his long lost tiny-armed, big-legged twin brother.
A friend of mine when we meet on a Sunday for a casual always used the " my fiver must have fallen/blown out my back pocket" every Sunday without fail
🤔
That Cervélociraptor bike is fast!
Excuse when late : sorry i was watching the top 10 excuses video by gcn
Great excuse!
Dan-Great caption. “SoreAss”. You win
Caption : Ok Lance you are an old dinosaur but you don't need to disguise yourself as one!
The dumbest excuse one of my mates tried to use was that he was late because he had to go all over town to find croissants as they were sold out at the local bakery. He couldn´t show up for a sunday groupride without having one.
caption: Froome: "I am sorry, I can't run with you up the Zoncolan, it's too steep!"
My girlfriend uses the excuse "blacklisted by magpies" every time I want to go for a ride together :(