So many of US in PAIN! I HAVE NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS. It is me and my emotional support dog. I haven't left the apartment but 10 times since 2020. I just started seeing a Psychiatrist cause it's bad when I'm not even taking care of myself because I really haven't cared about me!!!!! 😂🐕Be glad u have even at least one person, I would love to have that
I feel you 100% on this… I started going to therapy and healing past trauma so I literally lost my whole family. I have my friends and my own family o created but it still hurts when you lose your blood relatives… I see you and I hear you and your feelings are completely validated♥️
First of all: the mint green is everything on you. Second: losing your family, it is normal to feel lonely and depressed and for other family members to start a level of alienation you didn’t know was there. I’m so sorry because I have experienced it too. But your shining soul will persevere! ❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽
I have depression and anxiety. I take meds and they help me cope. It was trial and error to find the right kind and dose. I try and focus on good things like reading, gardening, nature, and spirituality
I feel you. I've lost a lot of people too. There's just me and my son now. After cancer I felt completely alone. It's a frightening feeling. Thank God for my son who was a teenager at the time. 💜
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is unbelievably difficult. One day at a time. ❤❤❤❤❤ Everyone thought my Mom was the greatest person on earth. She was. To everyone but me. I've spent years in therapy trying to undo the damage she did to me. And the freaky thing is I still love her.
My mom loved boys.. there were four boys and two girls. My sister always said that our mom loved the boys more, but not us as much. I thought she was crazy until I became an adult and started seeing it. I only have two children that I love them equally.
Totally feel your pain. I lost my husband , my mother, my brother, all my aunts and uncles and my best friend. The grief can consume you…I love your videos and hope you find peace.
You are a rock star!!!! I absolutely love your personality and your outlook on life!! I have been suffering through depression and anxiety for years so I know exactly what you are talking about!!! You go girl, you got this!!!!!!
The thing with grief is that when you experience it/let it in, it opens the door to *all* the pain in your life. Other losses, great and small. Disappointments. Weaknesses. Anxieties. They all rush in through that door. Does this make it better? Easier to get over? No, not at all. But over time you will be able to slam that door. You will figure a way to process the grief. And be prepared for the next time it opens and let’s all that shit in again. This is not necessarily clinical depression. This is being a living, breathing, feeling, caring, loving human being.
Eloquently spoken! After my dad passed I had the most intricate, vivid dreams that symbolized all of the trauma I had experienced, like watching scripted well-directed films. It led me to therapy that changed my life. The mind works in amazing ways to process our pain.
Thank you for being vulnerable and putting yourself out there like this. I went through a horrible depressive episode from November to March, and I can relate to so many things you mentioned here. Your comment about allowing yourself time to do nothing is so important. Sometimes we need to shut down for a while to let ourselves process everything before we can heal. 💗💗
I’m praying for you to get through this. I lost my dad and my son within two months of each other last year. I’m still battling the hurt, anger, and this big hole in my heart🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being so vulnerable!! I am recovering alcoholic and almost to 18 months soon. I have days where my discipline is great and days where I’m like crying asking god to lift all my burdens from me. I love your advice about calling people and reaching out when you’re feeling low, I still struggle with making phone calls. I’m great at opening up in person but weird about being the one to call someone. So your advice definitely inspired me. I’m so sorry for your loss as well, it isn’t easy to lose a special person. I spend a lot of time with my grandma and don’t even want to think of the pain I’ll feel when she’s gone one day. But again thank you for sharing your journey and for being easy and kind to yourself when you were experiencing depression It sure makes it more bearable. Xoxo
Anna I’m so sorry I really and completely know how you feel I lost my last grandparent two weeks ago and it was my grandpa I have my favorite person in this world was my nana she was my moms mom like my heart hurts she raised, me my dad was in jail until I was 12yrs. Close your eyes and feel the warm and loving hugs im sending you. Thank you for this video I needed to see it I’ve been holding this pain in for a while now I’ve just had my cry i needed since my grandpa died then when I could finally see what you have in your hair which is the blue butterflies, blue is my nana favorite color and she loved butterflies, she put your video on my must watchlist so thank you so much for your video
Im sorry Anna, you got this what ever it is you got this. You are an amazing person who helped so many of us when we were down and out. We are all here for you❤️ I understand what u mean though. U want to scream it from the rooftops but the funeral isnt the time or place for it. You really said so many things that hit close to home especially the part about deserving things and taking showers and sheet cakes. i struggled with that as well when i was depressed after 4 funerals in a year. But i made it through one day at a time. It took a minute but i woke up feeling better day by day..
We are all a little depressed, the last two years have been so hard on all of us. Loosing family members , it just harder because of covid because of not being able to visit the ones we love. I have trouble getting dressed some days. God Bless you Anna I pray things turn around for you.
Anna thank you for always being authentic. when I watch you I feel like I am hanging out with a friend and I think it's because you always present the real you. You don't hide the grit and it's so so appreciated in a time when young people are looking at social media thinking life should look like a filter. Thank you again.
Thanks for being REAL and sharing the frustration of the dichotomy of funerals and the views of how people view the person who passed. LOVE your words! Thinking of you... Sharing loneliness is being real!
Wow...I've always felt some parallel parts between my life and yours, which made you so relatable. Then I just watched this video and truly felt like your talking about me in ways. No I'm not crazy...not talking about me but could be...its so hard to have to face a family member who has hurt you on levels No 5/6 yr old should have to ever deal with, but now I'm 64 and still dealing...It was a promise to my mother, before she passed 3 yrs ago. You are Amazing and fellow Texan You are in my Prayers and Thoughts. God Bless All..Keep up great work. 🇨🇱❤🙏☝
I find so much similarities to your story. Losing my mom 3 yrs ago and distance between my family. I would love to connect with you as a big sister. You're beautiful
Thanks for sharing. I'm 59 and single. I too dealing with this still since 2010. I keep forgetting I am not alone in these situations and neither are you. Hold onto your friends. You still look very young.
I feel your pain, Anna. Please know that you are not alone in this. I’m down to only 4 family members. My 2 best friends passed away 4 1/2 months apart. You are one of the bravest women I’ve ever seen. You have your followers here who love you. And while we can’t be with you in person, we are all embracing you online. Much love ❤️
I really feel for you. I have had a lot of losses in my life. I have also had depression most of my life. Take time for yourself. So sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing. It will get better. Much love and prayers ❤️.
For whatever it’s worth..you are changing my world! I struggle with depression and binge eating disorder. Getting out of bed takes everything I have some days. Here’s the thing, though…seeing your outfits inspire me to get out of bed and do the same!
I overstand how you're feeling Queen I have lost so many family members close to me. I just lost my oldest sister in November of 2021 to cancer, my niece in 2016 to epilepsy, my next to the oldest sister to gun violence in 1996. Depression and anxiety was real for me but I had to reach and go to grief counseling and regular Therapy. You are more than conquerer and I am proud of you keep on keeping on and continue to work on yourself. Self love is the best love💗.
Hi Anna, I am so sorry for all you have been going through. After losing my mom 14 years ago what popped in my head was that I had no more parents, so I felt like an orphan. After losing some more relatives, I feel there is so much change in the family dynamic. Growing up we were really close with my mom's side of the family, so aunts and uncles that passed makes me feel that I've lost touch with the remaining family. The heads of the family used to keep everyone in the loop. So i try not to focus on everything too much or else the emptiness feeling kicks in. Take care and stay safe everyone.
I'm so happy to hear your doing better, Anna, you bring so much positivity into this world, like a shining light, and I hope you know how much your audience values you, you brighten anyone's mood and that's the most powerful ability of all
Thank you so much for this video, Anna. In speaking about your own struggles, you made me feel not so alone in the grief, loneliness, pain I have felt since my Dad’s passing in 2012 to aml leukemia, my only sister’s passing to years of alcoholism in 2016. I have been disabled since 2014, after failed spinal surgery, mobility challenges, pain that is with me every minute of the day. Pain has changed my life. Changed every aspect of my life. I have a hard time coping with it all. It’s been hard to push forward. It is scary as 💩 at times. I am sending you love and strength, Anna. Anyone who is struggling, please know you are loved and worthy of happiness. ❤️ We are worth it, we are!!! We can and will make it through.
Girl, you shouldn't feel bad for "not meeting goals". You were taking care of your emotional needs and reflecting, that is sooo important when we are hurting. So sorry for your loss. You are a very wise woman. Love to you!!
Anna, you don't need to feel like you failed! I'm sure long term you will get back to continuing on your journey and life happens. we have to give ourselves grace when we are struggling, especially when we are going through loss and grief. I also totally feel you about the funneral stuff, I recently went through this and it felt like a lot of showboating.... so sorry for your loss ❤️
To not “out” your bad family members on the internet is very mature and cool of you. I have some friends who have absolutely TOXIC people as family members and I can really understand why they blacklisted these people in their life. Honestly, since my dad’s passing my family has rather fractured and I feel pretty alone too. But I have good friends who I can count on and honestly I believe there are plenty of us out there who DON’T have that much family by blood left but who also NEED their friends as family. Friends are family. Welcome them into your life AS family. Sorry you’ve been through such an awful time. I had a feeling something was going wrong. Hope things are looking up for you!
Anna! You never fail to make me smile (female Dolly Parton lol!!). I'm sorry you felt so bad, but very glad you're on the incline. Never forget you have all of us out here, across the world (I'm in Australia) that love and care about you 💕💕. Keep smiling lovely lady 💗💗
You are a winner and survival is the spoils. I can imagine how you feel about being alone.. I've felt kind of like that recently with some events in my life, but the kicker is, I'm not alone. It can happen no matter how many people are around you (even ones who care) anyway, you are not alone, even when it feels like it and I think you talking about it will speak to who it needs to speak to. I'm glad you are feeling better. I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to deal with in your time of grieving. And anything you wanted to say to your Grandfather, you can still tell him... I'm sure he is watching over you with love and pride. Hang in there and I look forward to hear your big news!
Depression cannot be taken off like a coat. You wear it doll and never let anyone tell you that you belong in a pile of throw aways. Be strong and always remember that no one is perfect but we must find a way to love our imperfections. I'm 52 and I need to work on things just like you are describing. Make waves and appreciate everything that you are Anna. Stay focused and work on you. Stay away from toxic selfish people. Much love young lady. You made it through.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sucks to watch your family grow older and ultimately pass. When my last aunt died, I cried and cried and had a major meltdown as I was alone. No more family (at least none that actually cared), no one left who gave a damn about me. What you're feeling is sadly normal. It sucks balls, but this too is part of life. Cherish your friends and take care of yourself. Big hugs from an internet stranger.
Funerals really bring out the worst in people! I can relate, today is the anniversary of a loved one’s passing and I was treated horribly by a particular family member instigator that involved other relatives in underhanded tactics due to greed & fear. This relative even went so low as to usurp the inscription on the headstone after I submitted to the cemetery, despite me being the closest next of kin, & also turned a former friend against me. I realized it isn’t worth my energy to fight malignant narcissists and shook the dust off my feet and walked away. This relative is beloved by the rest of the relatives and I never threw them under the bus or talked about all the things that happened with other relatives because frankly that isn’t their business and I don’t need to create even more drama, even though I think this person has spread misinformation about me to the family. Ultimately I realized all of those relatives are toxic in various ways and it has been healthier for me to establish boundaries by going low to no-contact as much as possible. It led me to a lonely place for a while but was important for my personal growth and led me to make some important decisions that were essential for my future. Stay true to yourself and continue in your positivity journey!
No you absolutely shouldn’t be mad at yourself 😭😢💔 You we’re just coping. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you have been going through. You are absolutely not alone in having coping mechanisms that counter personal goals. Beating yourself up only ever makes things work. Self compassion is so important so I’m glad you are not mad at yourself 💖💖💖
Lot of respect for you to not say anything about those who have let you down. The do nothing is a really smart move. It is really sorting through emotions and maybe you needed that. Good for you!
Recognising it is so important. Glad you have an amazing support network. It is so difficult sometimes but one step at a time….the big wheel keeps on turning! This time will pass and you will feel amazing again x
So sorry for your loss! May the lord give you the strength to go through this. You are a great human being! I see this in you although I don’t know you personally . I would be your friend😞
GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE! If your friend told you this exact story you would tell them that they did a great job surviving!! And you DID do a great job surviving 💛
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I lost my mom on 4/20/22. I went completely out of control with buying FABLETICS and Skims. I’m not a big shopper, and bought things completely out of my comfort zone. Life’s short and I’m not going to worry and regret not having fun. I’m going to do little things that make me happy and not worry about what people think anymore. I’m 59 yo and I’m just getting started. 🤪
Hi Anna, Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s like your life mirrors mine in so many ways and I feel like I’m on this journey with you. Thanks so much for sharing and choosing to be vulnerable in such a public way. I’m so happy that you’re feeling better and that you’re finding ways to care for yourself. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were grieving. Not only for your grandpa but for others you lost too. You didn't fail it was just a pause to get through a hard time. I'm glad your doing better. I love your energy and sense of humor.
I understand the loneliness and darkness and seeking outward validation. I lost my triplet sister, my grandparents, my mom had a traumatic brain injury so I became her caretaker and had to grieve the loss of the mom I knew, I lost my career, I was diagnosed with cancer and it took my fertility and lost my chance of having a family. I also mourn my childhood which was chaotic and caused complex ptsd. I almost didn’t want to live. I learned in therapy to sit and process the pain. I’m starting to rebuild and although so much time was spent grieving and processing so many losses. After therapy and trauma work I am at the point of wanting to live!
Anna I have lost a lot of people I love over the years, it is so difficult. I fell into a pit of grief when I lost my husband of 40 years 7 years ago, I did not think I would find my way out, but I did,,it took about 4 years because I was focused on the loss not all the wonderfully years we had together, ,do your grieving Anna but focus on the good times you had with your loved ones, I am sending a BIG HUG for you. 😧
Thanks for sharing. I get it. Focus on what you have, what you achieved. That’s what i try to. Sometimes i get in the funk and think of the people that don’t show up. You made it through- keep rising. 💓
I have lost so many people in my life. I have fought through what you are fighting more than once. A good personal support group is a must. I am not trying to get in a religious discussion but I would not have survived without my God, my close friends, my church and my coworkers. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Families and grief are both complex issues. Especially toxic people. The best way to deal with them is walk away. As for the grief, it takes time to process. So sorry for your loss and wish you well.
I love the waves analogy. I went through a similar experience a couple of months ago. It caught me off guard because I, like you, have never really experienced it before. You did NOT fail, you survived and sometimes that's the biggest win of all. 🧡💚💜 *Edit - I posted this before the end of the video and then you basically said what I said 😅
The loss of family members is like becoming orphaned as an adult. I have lost both parents, all my grandparents are gone, aunts and uncles. I have one aunt left who at 98, I provide care for and she is the last of my elders that I have ever been close to. Knowing she is coming to the end of her life has left me very depressed, even though I have made peace with it in a sense. I can so relate to how you're feeling Anna. It takes you down, some days are really tough. But with a good support system, and knowing when to ask for help, we can get through it. Thank you as always for your honesty and openess.
I appreciate your candor and honesty. You put yourself out there and I admire that about you. You’re the realest of the real, and I’m rooting for you!!
You are an amazing beautiful human, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself, you did not fail. You can't be perfect, nobody can. It's called life, we just gotta keep on keeping on. Big hugs lady, your an inspiration xxxxx
Hi Anna , I'm so sorry for the loss of so many loved ones in your life. Especially your Mom & Sister. Life sure can be cruel at times, especially adding this insane pandemic to the crazy mix. So many crappy things in life going on and crappy people pooping on your cornflakes in the morning can really bring a person down. I could definitely write a book on feeling pain & loss in life. I can totally relate on how you've been feeling lately big time. I really appreciate you sharing some of your life's trials and tribulations. You are an amazing inspiration to me Anna. You should be so proud of all you have accomplished in your young life. Your confidence really blows me away. I wish I could feel half of what you have !! I love your video's so much, I think your so beautiful inside & out. I was wondering if you could throw a couple of makeup tutorials into your video's now and again just because I love looking at your face !! LOL...Well here's to brighter day's ahead !! Wish we could meet some day and share a sheet cake together , LoL. Stay beautiful...Peace & Love to you.
You are blessed to have the support sy system you have. When my mom passed away my whole family fell apart she was the glue. Now I don't have any other relatives in my life friends don't have any I just shut down I do suffer from depression I know the hell you were in and i am so glad that you are feeling better. I love your videos can't wait to see what's ahead. ✌️
I’m sorry to hear you have had to deal with so much loss in your life. You are amazingly strong to get through all you’ve had to deal with. I’m glad to hear you have a great support network. Take care of yourself. Sending you big hugs xoxo
I am relating to a lot of this thanks for cracking open. I think I’ve watched every episode of Guy’s Grocery Games at this point, it was my complete comfort for awhile. Guy’s Ranch Kitchen is so good 😹 I can’t believe how much of a dork I am. It has a lot of the GGG judges just cooking in his outdoor kitchen. 💘
I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you after such a rough time. Big love to you, my friend. I love your philosophy of waves - I think it's the truest description of life and everything it can throw at you I've ever heard. (Also, I'm living for your look in this video - super chic!)
I too have been dealing with grief and loss. An important thing my Dr told me was that I need to make time for myself to grieve. Also, that it won't happen overnight and you can't just flip a switch and be 'on' all the time. I recently began watching your channel, but I know that you can message many of us if you need someone to just listen without judgment. Feel free to message me anytime! I'm in Texas too.
I feel your pain also. The lowest of the low. I admire u. I write some crititiques to.u now and then bot not out of criticism but where i think u csn do better. Good for you your a great. Inspiration. My hats off to u lady. wish u the very besr.
I have freaking Neuro Lyme disease, heart issues, etc. My dad died of cancer and may 2nd my brother died, I can relate, I'm freaking depressed and feel alone in a great sense, blood connection where ppl really know u
You hit the nail right on the head - it's losing someone who really knows you. For me that was my best friend, though, not my family. Since losing her I don't have anybody who I can tell _anything_ to. 💜
I am so sorry for your loss. It's ok to be sad and to have negative feelings about people that hurt you. The positive thing about it is that you found out who your friends are and who cares about you. Don't beat yourself out about your goals. You are no failure. You are beautiful and you bring joy to so many.
Sorry you lost your grandfather, Anna. Everyone, one time, or another, goes into a rut, and nothing seems right, your depressed and can't seem to get with it. Just know, that when you are down, there's only one way to go, and that's back up. I have lost many, loved ones, some too young, and tragically, but you just pick yourself up and continue with your life, and take care of you. Love your personality and clothing hauls. Keep it going, girl! 😍🌹🌹🙏
Anna I want to thank you for sharing your life's journey- the good and the bad. But I wanted to correct you on something you said. You said that you hope to be able to make a difference in others' lives someday, but you already have. Because of you I am able to feel more comfortable in my own skin and because of you I am able to see my mistakes as something to learn from and not something to wallow in. We have a mirror on the closet door that faces the bed. I covered it up when we moved in 5 years ago because I couldn't stand looking at myself. Last month, because of you, I took that cover down and when I look at myself now I see a person worthy of love and respect and I owe a lot of that to you. I am so sorry for your recent troubles but know that you are appreciated and accepted for who you are- a wonderfully imperfect human being.
So sorry for your losses. A person has limits. It's good that you allowed yourself to feel. Sending you love and healing thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day. 😊
So many of US in PAIN! I HAVE NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS. It is me and my emotional support dog. I haven't left the apartment but 10 times since 2020. I just started seeing a Psychiatrist cause it's bad when I'm not even taking care of myself because I really haven't cared about me!!!!! 😂🐕Be glad u have even at least one person, I would love to have that
Are you ok? No seriously if you feel you have no one you can contact me. I will talk to you. No one should feel alone.
❤️ / love pets hangout, unmatch love
My friends I love you too my bangaru konda ok thanks 🙏 ok my SBI code 20611 ok thanks friends I love you too
I feel you 100% on this…
I started going to therapy and healing past trauma so I literally lost my whole family. I have my friends and my own family o created but it still hurts when you lose your blood relatives…
I see you and I hear you and your feelings are completely validated♥️
First of all: the mint green is everything on you. Second: losing your family, it is normal to feel lonely and depressed and for other family members to start a level of alienation you didn’t know was there. I’m so sorry because I have experienced it too. But your shining soul will persevere! ❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽
I have depression and anxiety. I take meds and they help me cope. It was trial and error to find the right kind and dose. I try and focus on good things like reading, gardening, nature, and spirituality
I feel you. I've lost a lot of people too. There's just me and my son now. After cancer I felt completely alone. It's a frightening feeling. Thank God for my son who was a teenager at the time. 💜
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is unbelievably difficult. One day at a time. ❤❤❤❤❤ Everyone thought my Mom was the greatest person on earth. She was. To everyone but me. I've spent years in therapy trying to undo the damage she did to me. And the freaky thing is I still love her.
My mom loved boys.. there were four boys and two girls. My sister always said that our mom loved the boys more, but not us as much. I thought she was crazy until I became an adult and started seeing it. I only have two children that I love them equally.
"We create the world that we believe we deserve". I felt that. Thank you for sharing your experience. Wishing you the best
Totally feel your pain. I lost my husband , my mother, my brother, all my aunts and uncles and my best friend. The grief can consume you…I love your videos and hope you find peace.
So sorry
I am so sorry for the level of loss you have experienced. God bless you!!
Wow. So sorry.
I’m so sorry, I’ve bean lucky enough not to lose anyone close yet. I can’t imagine what you’ve went through 💕
💔♥️💔🙏🏼😢I’m so sorry that you also have these pains((((Anna))))
You are a rock star!!!! I absolutely love your personality and your outlook on life!! I have been suffering through depression and anxiety for years so I know exactly what you are talking about!!! You go girl, you got this!!!!!!
The thing with grief is that when you experience it/let it in, it opens the door to *all* the pain in your life. Other losses, great and small. Disappointments. Weaknesses. Anxieties. They all rush in through that door. Does this make it better? Easier to get over? No, not at all. But over time you will be able to slam that door. You will figure a way to process the grief. And be prepared for the next time it opens and let’s all that shit in again. This is not necessarily clinical depression. This is being a living, breathing, feeling, caring, loving human being.
Eloquently spoken! After my dad passed I had the most intricate, vivid dreams that symbolized all of the trauma I had experienced, like watching scripted well-directed films. It led me to therapy that changed my life. The mind works in amazing ways to process our pain.
Thank you for being vulnerable and putting yourself out there like this. I went through a horrible depressive episode from November to March, and I can relate to so many things you mentioned here. Your comment about allowing yourself time to do nothing is so important. Sometimes we need to shut down for a while to let ourselves process everything before we can heal. 💗💗
I’m praying for you to get through this. I lost my dad and my son within two months of each other last year. I’m still battling the hurt, anger, and this big hole in my heart🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
❤
Sending you lots of love and praying for some kind of comfort for you. I am so very sorry for your loss❤️❤️😘😘🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏❤️❤️
Hey Anna, I really feel for you right now. Losing a family member is a difficult battle and every one of us can relate.
Sending you so much love ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being so vulnerable!! I am recovering alcoholic and almost to 18 months soon. I have days where my discipline is great and days where I’m like crying asking god to lift all my burdens from me. I love your advice about calling people and reaching out when you’re feeling low, I still struggle with making phone calls. I’m great at opening up in person but weird about being the one to call someone.
So your advice definitely inspired me. I’m so sorry for your loss as well, it isn’t easy to lose a special person. I spend a lot of time with my grandma and don’t even want to think of the pain I’ll feel when she’s gone one day. But again thank you for sharing your journey and for being easy and kind to yourself when you were experiencing depression It sure makes it more bearable. Xoxo
Anna I’m so sorry I really and completely know how you feel I lost my last grandparent two weeks ago and it was my grandpa I have my favorite person in this world was my nana she was my moms mom like my heart hurts she raised, me my dad was in jail until I was 12yrs. Close your eyes and feel the warm and loving hugs im sending you. Thank you for this video I needed to see it I’ve been holding this pain in for a while now I’ve just had my cry i needed since my grandpa died then when I could finally see what you have in your hair which is the blue butterflies, blue is my nana favorite color and she loved butterflies, she put your video on my must watchlist so thank you so much for your video
I really needed this video today. I had no idea how much. Thank you for sharing and being open.
Im sorry Anna, you got this what ever it is you got this. You are an amazing person who helped so many of us when we were down and out. We are all here for you❤️
I understand what u mean though. U want to scream it from the rooftops but the funeral isnt the time or place for it.
You really said so many things that hit close to home especially the part about deserving things and taking showers and sheet cakes. i struggled with that as well when i was depressed after 4 funerals in a year. But i made it through one day at a time. It took a minute but i woke up feeling better day by day..
We are all a little depressed, the last two years have been so hard on all of us. Loosing family members , it just harder because of covid because of not being able to visit the ones we love. I have trouble getting dressed some days. God Bless you Anna I pray things turn around for you.
Anna thank you for always being authentic. when I watch you I feel like I am hanging out with a friend and I think it's because you always present the real you. You don't hide the grit and it's so so appreciated in a time when young people are looking at social media thinking life should look like a filter. Thank you again.
Thanks for being REAL and sharing the frustration of the dichotomy of funerals and the views of how people view the person who passed. LOVE your words! Thinking of you... Sharing loneliness is being real!
Anna I wish I had the right words to help with your pain. I am sending you much love and healing thoughts.
Wow...I've always felt some parallel parts between my life and yours, which made you so relatable. Then I just watched this video and truly felt like your talking about me in ways. No I'm not crazy...not talking about me but could be...its so hard to have to face a family member who has hurt you on levels No 5/6 yr old should have to ever deal with, but now I'm 64 and still dealing...It was a promise to my mother, before she passed 3 yrs ago. You are Amazing and fellow Texan You are in my Prayers and Thoughts. God Bless All..Keep up great work. 🇨🇱❤🙏☝
I find so much similarities to your story. Losing my mom 3 yrs ago and distance between my family. I would love to connect with you as a big sister. You're beautiful
Anna, its one day at a time. Don't be down on yourself. You got through it and reached out for help.
Thank you for making us feel so good even though you weren’t feeling that way yourself. That’s a gift you have. Thank you for sharing. 💕💙💕💙💕💙💕💙
That’s amazing. You should be extremely proud of yourself. You are absolutely stronger than you think you are and are inspiring and brave. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. I'm 59 and single. I too dealing with this still since 2010. I keep forgetting I am not alone in these situations and neither are you. Hold onto your friends. You still look very young.
I feel your pain, Anna. Please know that you are not alone in this. I’m down to only 4 family members. My 2 best friends passed away 4 1/2 months apart. You are one of the bravest women I’ve ever seen. You have your followers here who love you. And while we can’t be with you in person, we are all embracing you online. Much love ❤️
I really feel for you. I have had a lot of losses in my life. I have also had depression most of my life. Take time for yourself. So sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing. It will get better. Much love and prayers ❤️.
So sorry Anna , I have been depressed for most of my life and it’s hard , I always win the battle but never the actual war 😢. Best wishes 💐
For whatever it’s worth..you are changing my world! I struggle with depression and binge eating disorder. Getting out of bed takes everything I have some days. Here’s the thing, though…seeing your outfits inspire me to get out of bed and do the same!
So proud of you and how you keep growing mentally and emotionally and for being authentically you.
I overstand how you're feeling Queen I have lost so many family members close to me. I just lost my oldest sister in November of 2021 to cancer, my niece in 2016 to epilepsy, my next to the oldest sister to gun violence in 1996. Depression and anxiety was real for me but I had to reach and go to grief counseling and regular Therapy. You are more than conquerer and I am proud of you keep on keeping on and continue to work on yourself. Self love is the best love💗.
I'm incredibly sorry for your loss, Anna. 💚💙
And friends are family too.
Hi Anna,
I am so sorry for all you have been going through.
After losing my mom 14 years ago what popped in my head was that I had no more parents, so I felt like an orphan.
After losing some more relatives, I feel there is so much change in the family dynamic.
Growing up we were really close with my mom's side of the family, so aunts and uncles that passed makes me feel that I've lost touch with the remaining family.
The heads of the family used to keep everyone in the loop.
So i try not to focus on everything too much or else the emptiness feeling kicks in.
Take care and stay safe everyone.
I'm so happy to hear your doing better, Anna, you bring so much positivity into this world, like a shining light, and I hope you know how much your audience values you, you brighten anyone's mood and that's the most powerful ability of all
You are amazing! So strong and courageous to speak your truth and also not call out the people who hurt you.
Thank you so much for this video, Anna. In speaking about your own struggles, you made me feel not so alone in the grief, loneliness, pain I have felt since my Dad’s passing in 2012 to aml leukemia, my only sister’s passing to years of alcoholism in 2016. I have been disabled since 2014, after failed spinal surgery, mobility challenges, pain that is with me every minute of the day. Pain has changed my life. Changed every aspect of my life. I have a hard time coping with it all. It’s been hard to push forward. It is scary as 💩 at times.
I am sending you love and strength, Anna. Anyone who is struggling, please know you are loved and worthy of happiness. ❤️ We are worth it, we are!!! We can and will make it through.
Girl, you shouldn't feel bad for "not meeting goals". You were taking care of your emotional needs and reflecting, that is sooo important when we are hurting. So sorry for your loss. You are a very wise woman. Love to you!!
Sounds like you didn't fail at all! You took the time you needed and learned a lot.
Anna, you don't need to feel like you failed! I'm sure long term you will get back to continuing on your journey and life happens. we have to give ourselves grace when we are struggling, especially when we are going through loss and grief. I also totally feel you about the funneral stuff, I recently went through this and it felt like a lot of showboating.... so sorry for your loss ❤️
To not “out” your bad family members on the internet is very mature and cool of you. I have some friends who have absolutely TOXIC people as family members and I can really understand why they blacklisted these people in their life. Honestly, since my dad’s passing my family has rather fractured and I feel pretty alone too. But I have good friends who I can count on and honestly I believe there are plenty of us out there who DON’T have that much family by blood left but who also NEED their friends as family. Friends are family. Welcome them into your life AS family. Sorry you’ve been through such an awful time. I had a feeling something was going wrong. Hope things are looking up for you!
I feel you on the “sheetcaking.” It’s enabled me to survive many times!
Anna! You never fail to make me smile (female Dolly Parton lol!!). I'm sorry you felt so bad, but very glad you're on the incline. Never forget you have all of us out here, across the world (I'm in Australia) that love and care about you 💕💕. Keep smiling lovely lady 💗💗
You are a winner and survival is the spoils. I can imagine how you feel about being alone.. I've felt kind of like that recently with some events in my life, but the kicker is, I'm not alone. It can happen no matter how many people are around you (even ones who care) anyway, you are not alone, even when it feels like it and I think you talking about it will speak to who it needs to speak to. I'm glad you are feeling better. I am so sorry for your loss and what you had to deal with in your time of grieving. And anything you wanted to say to your Grandfather, you can still tell him... I'm sure he is watching over you with love and pride. Hang in there and I look forward to hear your big news!
Depression cannot be taken off like a coat. You wear it doll and never let anyone tell you that you belong in a pile of throw aways. Be strong and always remember that no one is perfect but we must find a way to love our imperfections. I'm 52 and I need to work on things just like you are describing. Make waves and appreciate everything that you are Anna. Stay focused and work on you. Stay away from toxic selfish people. Much love young lady. You made it through.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sucks to watch your family grow older and ultimately pass. When my last aunt died, I cried and cried and had a major meltdown as I was alone. No more family (at least none that actually cared), no one left who gave a damn about me. What you're feeling is sadly normal. It sucks balls, but this too is part of life. Cherish your friends and take care of yourself. Big hugs from an internet stranger.
Awh! I'm always here for you Glitter! We love youu!
Funerals really bring out the worst in people! I can relate, today is the anniversary of a loved one’s passing and I was treated horribly by a particular family member instigator that involved other relatives in underhanded tactics due to greed & fear. This relative even went so low as to usurp the inscription on the headstone after I submitted to the cemetery, despite me being the closest next of kin, & also turned a former friend against me. I realized it isn’t worth my energy to fight malignant narcissists and shook the dust off my feet and walked away. This relative is beloved by the rest of the relatives and I never threw them under the bus or talked about all the things that happened with other relatives because frankly that isn’t their business and I don’t need to create even more drama, even though I think this person has spread misinformation about me to the family. Ultimately I realized all of those relatives are toxic in various ways and it has been healthier for me to establish boundaries by going low to no-contact as much as possible. It led me to a lonely place for a while but was important for my personal growth and led me to make some important decisions that were essential for my future. Stay true to yourself and continue in your positivity journey!
No you absolutely shouldn’t be mad at yourself 😭😢💔 You we’re just coping. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you have been going through. You are absolutely not alone in having coping mechanisms that counter personal goals. Beating yourself up only ever makes things work. Self compassion is so important so I’m glad you are not mad at yourself 💖💖💖
Lot of respect for you to not say anything about those who have let you down. The do nothing is a really smart move. It is really sorting through emotions and maybe you needed that. Good for you!
Recognising it is so important. Glad you have an amazing support network. It is so difficult sometimes but one step at a time….the big wheel keeps on turning! This time will pass and you will feel amazing again x
So sorry for your loss! May the lord give you the strength to go through this. You are a great human being! I see this in you although I don’t know you personally . I would be your friend😞
I just want to hug you. You bring the world so much joy, and all I want is for you to feel that joy.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 lost both my parents who were my main network of support, keep strong 💪🏻🌸🌸🌸
GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE! If your friend told you this exact story you would tell them that they did a great job surviving!! And you DID do a great job surviving 💛
Amen!
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I lost my mom on 4/20/22. I went completely out of control with buying FABLETICS and Skims. I’m not a big shopper, and bought things completely out of my comfort zone. Life’s short and I’m not going to worry and regret not having fun. I’m going to do little things that make me happy and not worry about what people think anymore. I’m 59 yo and I’m just getting started. 🤪
Anna you are not a failure. In fact it's quite the opposite, you're an inspiration to so many! and that mint green is STUNNING on you! 💗
I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandad sounds like a lovely person. Big hugs x
I love what you said about energy always flowing. You're helping us out here, sharing your experiences. Thank you. You're amazing and beautiful💜
I am so sorry I love your content it helps me get thru the day .we live you and are always here for you.
Hi Anna,
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s like your life mirrors mine in so many ways and I feel like I’m on this journey with you. Thanks so much for sharing and choosing to be vulnerable in such a public way. I’m so happy that you’re feeling better and that you’re finding ways to care for yourself. ❤️
I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I hope happiness comes back into your life soon
Thank you so much for this beautiful video ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were grieving. Not only for your grandpa but for others you lost too. You didn't fail it was just a pause to get through a hard time. I'm glad your doing better. I love your energy and sense of humor.
I understand the loneliness and darkness and seeking outward validation.
I lost my triplet sister, my grandparents, my mom had a traumatic brain injury so I became her caretaker and had to grieve the loss of the mom I knew, I lost my career, I was diagnosed with cancer and it took my fertility and lost my chance of having a family. I also mourn my childhood which was chaotic and caused complex ptsd. I almost didn’t want to live.
I learned in therapy to sit and process the pain. I’m starting to rebuild and although so much time was spent grieving and processing so many losses. After therapy and trauma work I am at the point of wanting to live!
Anna I have lost a lot of people I love over the years, it is so difficult. I fell into a pit of grief when I lost my husband of 40 years 7 years ago, I did not think I would find my way out, but I did,,it took about 4 years because I was focused on the loss not all the wonderfully years we had together, ,do your grieving Anna but focus on the good times you had with your loved ones, I am sending a BIG HUG for you. 😧
Thanks for sharing. I get it. Focus on what you have, what you achieved. That’s what i try to.
Sometimes i get in the funk and think of the people that don’t show up.
You made it through- keep rising. 💓
You are so self aware! You are amazing:)
I have lost so many people in my life. I have fought through what you are fighting more than once. A good personal support group is a must. I am not trying to get in a religious discussion but I would not have survived without my God, my close friends, my church and my coworkers. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m so glad that you are feeling better! I pray God give you peace in every situation you are facing 🙏🏾🙏🏾
So sorry for your loss sending prayers. Your make looks amazing 🤩
I'm sorry for your loss. Praying for continue strengthen and healing for you 🙏🏾
Families and grief are both complex issues. Especially toxic people. The best way to deal with them is walk away. As for the grief, it takes time to process. So sorry for your loss and wish you well.
I love the waves analogy. I went through a similar experience a couple of months ago. It caught me off guard because I, like you, have never really experienced it before. You did NOT fail, you survived and sometimes that's the biggest win of all. 🧡💚💜
*Edit - I posted this before the end of the video and then you basically said what I said 😅
The loss of family members is like becoming orphaned as an adult. I have lost both parents, all my grandparents are gone, aunts and uncles. I have one aunt left who at 98, I provide care for and she is the last of my elders that I have ever been close to. Knowing she is coming to the end of her life has left me very depressed, even though I have made peace with it in a sense. I can so relate to how you're feeling Anna. It takes you down, some days are really tough. But with a good support system, and knowing when to ask for help, we can get through it. Thank you as always for your honesty and openess.
I appreciate your candor and honesty. You put yourself out there and I admire that about you. You’re the realest of the real, and I’m rooting for you!!
Love and hugs to you! ❤️
My condolences to you for loss of your grandfather
You are an amazing beautiful human, I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Be kind to yourself, you did not fail. You can't be perfect, nobody can. It's called life, we just gotta keep on keeping on. Big hugs lady, your an inspiration xxxxx
Hi Anna , I'm so sorry for the loss of so many loved ones in your life. Especially your Mom & Sister. Life sure can be cruel at times, especially adding this insane pandemic to the crazy mix. So many crappy things in life going on and crappy people pooping on your cornflakes in the morning can really bring a person down. I could definitely write a book on feeling pain & loss in life. I can totally relate on how you've been feeling lately big time. I really appreciate you sharing some of your life's trials and tribulations. You are an amazing inspiration to me Anna. You should be so proud of all you have accomplished in your young life. Your confidence really blows me away. I wish I could feel half of what you have !! I love your video's so much, I think your so beautiful inside & out. I was wondering if you could throw a couple of makeup tutorials into your video's now and again just because I love looking at your face !! LOL...Well here's to brighter day's ahead !! Wish we could meet some day and share a sheet cake together , LoL. Stay beautiful...Peace & Love to you.
Lol at the cornflakes comment, I will have to remember that one! 😂
You are blessed to have the support sy system you have. When my mom passed away my whole family fell apart she was the glue. Now I don't have any other relatives in my life friends don't have any I just shut down I do suffer from depression I know the hell you were in and i am so glad that you are feeling better. I love your videos can't wait to see what's ahead. ✌️
I’m sorry to hear you have had to deal with so much loss in your life. You are amazingly strong to get through all you’ve had to deal with. I’m glad to hear you have a great support network. Take care of yourself. Sending you big hugs xoxo
I am relating to a lot of this thanks for cracking open. I think I’ve watched every episode of Guy’s Grocery Games at this point, it was my complete comfort for awhile. Guy’s Ranch Kitchen is so good 😹 I can’t believe how much of a dork I am. It has a lot of the GGG judges just cooking in his outdoor kitchen. 💘
I'm glad to hear that things are looking up for you after such a rough time. Big love to you, my friend. I love your philosophy of waves - I think it's the truest description of life and everything it can throw at you I've ever heard. (Also, I'm living for your look in this video - super chic!)
aww i am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and hope for your healing
I’ve been doing nothing for a few weeks and it’s amazing!! Nothing but peace and happiness !! It’s ok :) just keep God first !!
Live is not always easy, Thank you for sharing
I too have been dealing with grief and loss. An important thing my Dr told me was that I need to make time for myself to grieve. Also, that it won't happen overnight and you can't just flip a switch and be 'on' all the time. I recently began watching your channel, but I know that you can message many of us if you need someone to just listen without judgment. Feel free to message me anytime! I'm in Texas too.
I feel your pain also. The lowest of the low. I admire u. I write some crititiques to.u now and then bot not out of criticism but where i think u csn do better. Good for you your a great. Inspiration. My hats off to u lady. wish u the very besr.
I have freaking Neuro Lyme disease, heart issues, etc. My dad died of cancer and may 2nd my brother died, I can relate, I'm freaking depressed and feel alone in a great sense, blood connection where ppl really know u
You hit the nail right on the head - it's losing someone who really knows you. For me that was my best friend, though, not my family. Since losing her I don't have anybody who I can tell _anything_ to. 💜
I understand where you're coming from. I only have 3 family members left, and they're all older than me. Be kind to yourself! 🤗
Your so beautiful 💜I'm sorry that you have troubles. I am nervous about loses all my family too.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's ok to be sad and to have negative feelings about people that hurt you. The positive thing about it is that you found out who your friends are and who cares about you. Don't beat yourself out about your goals. You are no failure. You are beautiful and you bring joy to so many.
I can relate as well. I'm so sorry you deal with all of this. Depression is real & very difficult to work through. Just know you are not alone...
Sorry you lost your grandfather, Anna. Everyone, one time, or another, goes into a rut, and nothing seems right, your depressed and can't seem to get with it. Just know, that when you are down, there's only one way to go, and that's back up. I have lost many, loved ones, some too young, and tragically, but you just pick yourself up and continue with your life, and take care of you. Love your personality and clothing hauls. Keep it going, girl! 😍🌹🌹🙏
Anna I want to thank you for sharing your life's journey- the good and the bad. But I wanted to correct you on something you said. You said that you hope to be able to make a difference in others' lives someday, but you already have. Because of you I am able to feel more comfortable in my own skin and because of you I am able to see my mistakes as something to learn from and not something to wallow in. We have a mirror on the closet door that faces the bed. I covered it up when we moved in 5 years ago because I couldn't stand looking at myself. Last month, because of you, I took that cover down and when I look at myself now I see a person worthy of love and respect and I owe a lot of that to you. I am so sorry for your recent troubles but know that you are appreciated and accepted for who you are- a wonderfully imperfect human being.
So sorry for your losses. A person has limits. It's good that you allowed yourself to feel. Sending you love and healing thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day. 😊
I wish I was there to simply give you a hug.
Just know you’re not alone. Myself & others here have similar stories with family & depression.