STOP PROCRASTINATING & GET STUFF DONE!
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
- Do you Procrastinate? My ADHD makes motivation extra HARD and procrastination extra EASY, but I've found a few strategies that really work to STOP me from procrastinating! I use these five simple strategies and I rarely procrastinate anymore!! Really! For 16 free meals with HelloFresh PLUS free shipping, use code CLUTTERBUG16 at bit.ly/3VjWYYQ! New subscriptions only. Varies by plan across 9 boxes.
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#procrastination #motivation #adhd
00:00 Introduction
00:10 ADHD Struggles
00:35 Strategy #1
02:39 Strategy #2
05:24 Strategy #3
07:01 Hello Fresh Ad Start
07:54 Hello Fresh Ad End
07:55 Strategy #4
10:10 Strategy #5
11:57 End Story
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We're retired. 46 years married next month. He is my best friend. Laughter is key. 😂 He still makes me laugh every day. He is so good and patient with me. He is good, cute, helpful and funny and for some reason he loves me. ❤ I am blessed.
Great video. Don’t assume you’ll be together until you’re old and gray. That’s what I thought too. My husband became ill and in 7 months he was gone. Cherish your spouse everyday!
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for your reminder to not take our spouse for granted!
Truth. I just lost my husband Sept 6th. He was 59 I am 48. We were married 18 years and thought we had a lot more.
@@CrystalBeeMarrinerI’m so sorry ! Wishing you comfort and peace ! ❤
😞😞
Very sorry to hear this, djenkins. May you have comfort and future happiness
I used to hate laundry. There is 6 of us in the house so we do at least 2 loads a day. I figured out what I really hate is folding! 😂 So also, as a Christian I always felt like I needed to carve out more prayer time so I paired the two. It's the perfect time bc for some reason, people leave me alone when I'm folding 😂. So now, folding is enjoyable 🎉
I love it!
This is a great idea! ❤
I agree with the at least 2 loads a day! when my kids were little, I definitely struggled with trying to keep up with the laundry so I decided that I would do a load of whites and a load of coloreds every day. It helped me stay on track, and I actually like folding clothes and doing dishes, I know weird right!
That is genius! In a groove, in a special place, how wonderful! Thank you!
I’m stealing this and thanking you!!!!
Married 40 years. Love him to pieces! Take a drive together. Conversation is amazing when there are no children and you are not facing each other. Or walk. The key is being able to look away from the person you are speaking to. It allows you to speak of things that you may be uncomfortable speaking about face to face. Works great with teens, also. Spend a bit of time apart weekly. Walk by yourself. Join a craft group, etc. Encourage him to find something outside also. A little time apart is good for everyone.
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Great ideas! I really agree about taking a drive or walking side by side. Our best conversations happen then and definitely bring us closer.
We have been married 41 years...and no, it's not easy being with each other 24/7. But, I sure am grateful that we have each other every single day I thank The Lord!
Amen! I hadn't thought about not looking straight at the person. I think you're on to something.
I heard once that procrastination comes from fear of wanting to do something perfectly. So I just go for make something better today.
Years ago I heard an interview in which the lady said each morning she asked her husband, ‘what can I do for you today that will make your life easier?’ Yes, you are tremendously busy and have your own work load but, during those times when he is very stressed, this is a way to reach out and connect, letting him know you are right there with him.
That’s if your partners love language is ‘acts of service’. I would love that because that’s my number one love language but to my partner he doesn’t care about acts of service so I cater to his #1.
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Not sure if that was…Richard Paul Evans…”How I saved my marriage”…he is a writer and I believe speaker and that is the same thing he said as his marriage was failing and he knew he needed to make a change…basically he said to his wife “how can I make your day better?”
I wonder if her husband did the same?
I'd say show interest in something that is important to him. My husband has a big woodworking project right now. He's building me a butlers pantry. I go to his woodshop with him. I sand things and help to transport cabates back into the house. He likes having my company. I remember as kids when we were dating, I sat on the driveway and passed tools under a car that he was fixing, so he would have something to drive on our dates. We were 15 and 17 back then. Today, we're 59 and almost 62. I still love being with him and would still sit in the driveway and pass him tools. He's funny and smart and loves me unconditionally.
“….bro, give me your face!!” 🤣🤣🤣❤❤ that’s such a great idea! Giving yourself a non-negotiable to help your husband and your relationship to strengthen! You’re right Cas!! it’s so difficult, especially working with them every day seeing him day in day out😂. I’m fortunate my husband gets to take a business trip once and a while. And I can’t help but feel so excited when he announces a trip😂. We have also been together for over 20 years but lately have not been so lovey-dovey. So yes, I think it’s an extremely important forcing time together!!
Yes! That comment made me laugh out loud!!!
We have been married almost 30 years and one thing I have realized……hang out with friends that adore their spouse!,, it is contagious when they show affection, appreciation and consideration for one another!! If you have friends that are constantly bickering or nagging about their husbands….for me ..I would get trapped in that same behavior!! So, in my close tribe we all encourage being thoughtful about our conversations to and about our spouses!!
Grandma wisdom from Texas!! Most Recently with friends we were enjoying a glass of wine outside, my best friend just quietly said she was chilled, with no prompting her husband went out to their car and got her sweater, for me that was a beautiful way to show he cares and loves her!!
My husband and I work from home together too. In the morning after our walk (holding hands) , we put on music in the kitchen and he puts the coffee on and I chop veggies and assemble what we're having for lunch and put it in the crockpot. It's such a nice time of the day. We make time most evenings to sit and read together too as we're both booklovers. This was a great video, thank you Cass !
Wow! You are #relationshipgoals! I'm so happy for you!
Truly relationship goals. Empty nesters here and married 33ish years. (I’m bad with dates) and it’s a challenge.
Funny how much Americans seem to love labels and abbreviation. I don't recall a term for 'empty nester' in German.
@@sabine9012 me neither, but nowadays everything comes with an “ism” or title. For example, for me, “minimalism” is just the way most of the world lives. I learned about empty nesters after our kids left for college. It’s an interesting phenomenon to watch.
@@sabine9012 Haha! This made me laugh - yes, we do! Do you know what it means then? It's short hand for saying the children have "flown the nest" - grown up & moved out in other words.
We have been married 49 years. Been through a lot together. For me, deliberately focusing on his good qualities solidifies my love and respect. Letting him know that, through comments or notes or any other way, solidifies us. Sometimes it's the little things as we work our way through life together.
26 years for me. Your comment is just lovely. Thank you.
Congratulations
married for 38 years and since he has stopped working we see each other near 24/7..I am glad he still has flyball with the dogs but best of all we have a date day once a week where we go out for a meal or go somewhere special together like watching gannets feed or deer hunting with a camera. you have to keep the enthusiasm for each other through a shared enjoyment..apart from the bedroom..😊
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@@hazelblackley1623 Congratulations, Hazel! Sharing fun activities is important on many levels. Wishing you well.
One of my favourite things that my partner does is walk up behind me when I'm cooking or cleaning, wrapping his arms around my waist & kissing the top of my head (he's taller than me) ❤ We also hold hands whenever we go out for a walk, even if it's just round the grocery store 😊 xx
We've been married for 19 years. It's my second marriage. We are also together 24/7. What I have learned is to always appreciate him and tell him so. I appreciate that we are such a good team. I appreciate you make me laugh my head off. And so on. I hate to say this, but this is a big one......I never say anything bad about him or our relationship to anyone else. It either always gets back to him or he hears you say it. I know it's just a joke, but words can hurt. And even if he says it's okay, it still festers underneath. Just my $0.02.
Yes, always be his safe person.
Agree about this 100%.
Yeah, it's said to "not let anyone else into the relationship" these days. It makes sense. It did deteriorate my former relationship quickly!
100% TRUE! Married 41 years and we both had to learn this lesson (not saying anything bad, even joking) more than once. It does really hurt - and often "jokes" are the most injurious. We both have also learned to really take the time to thank each other and to look for the good qualities in the other one - even if sometimes you don't feel like it inside.
We've been married 27 years. We always end up arguing when doing some sort of project. However, this weekend we did a project and even though we get a little testy with each other, I still said thank you when it was done. And he said thank you, too. I don't think I'd ever heard him say that after one of our projects, but I also tried to recall saying thank you to him, and I couldn't. We sometimes forget about simple manners with those we love, but please and especially thank you, really does go a long way. Thank you, Cas, for being you!
I’m not married so my advice isn’t worth much. But looking behind me at two divorces, I think I would be kinder, brag on him in public, and not let myself be goaded into pitching a fit!
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Your advice IS VALUABLE! And so are you ❤
And don't let him pitch a fit
Your advice IS worth listening to... Sometimes the most valuable advice is from negatives learned/discovered in the disasters we survive.
@@lindab146thanks!
I've been with my husband 23 years. Due to past trauma, I sometimes have issues with feeling the need to be right. So, a few years into our marriage I asked myself "do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" The answer is always happy and so I will stop arguing or defending my position the second I realize I'm trying to be right. I'm also chronically ill and ADHD, one of the biggest things to help us overcome those moments of "I can't look at you for a second longer" episodes has been you, Cass. My disorder and his disorder and a cluttered home always made us growlly with each other, but now that I know that I'm a bee and he's a ladybug we've been getting along much better. I no longer see his tossed around stuff the same way and I have built some spaces for me and some for him.
I remind myself that we are a team. I don’t let my scrolling ever be more important than what he is saying to me. I do my best to recognize his efforts and thank him for them.
I did that but sadley I never get those needed compliments too
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I think something butterfly inducing is my husband finding a passion project, and me throwing my full support behind him and watching him absolutely kill it. Mine started a business last year (he still works full time apart from the business) and watching him connect with business partners, hire, buy equipment, shew, it makes me weak in the knees seeing him be at his full potential and at something he's passionate about. Working for something together that's his own thing is definitely a connector for us.
I recommend Esther Perel. She says, when you see your partner like a stranger or in a different environment, he is attractive. E. G. on stage, at work, with his friends, in negotiatons, on a construction site, in a shop. When I see my partner in his working clothes, I find him attractive.
Another thing: as soon as he talks to me, I put down, mute or stop any electronics or books. I turn to him, look in his eyes and listen.
Whenever I feel any kind of love, I tell it. I tell him exactly what I find beautiful at him in this moment. On the other hand, I ask him often: say something nice and he will do it for over 31 years now.
Today is our 25th wedding anniversary! We have endured many joys, blessing, trials and hurts! My best advice is intentionality and forgiveness! I haven't always done a great job at either of these, but I am striving to be better. We need to be intentional with spending time together, and quick to forgive when the other person is seeking forgiveness! Encourage each other in their pursuits, and for us personally, putting God first! Thanks for all of your great information, Cas. It is much appreciated!
Happy Anniversary!
Happy happy 25th anniversary!!!❤
"Give me your face"
I love the sixty second kiss 💡 ❤
Been with my hubby for 30 years. We just started dating again. We still have 1 kids @ home, but he's 20, so self-reliant MOSTLY. It's fun. Go to each other's interests. Turn off all electronics and see what convos you have. Do the date where pick out things for the other. I found out my hubby's favorite color that way. Guess I never realized it before, lol.
Cas I am an ADHD 55 year old single lady. I really just couldn’t understand why I did all the wifely duties but never a wife. You show has really helped me understand why. Clutter bug. I have been working on my house now. It is hard and scary, I cry sometimes because no help but I am taking it one day at a time. Thanks for sharing and being for real. Love all your information and help. TFS ❤❤❤
We’ve been married for 23 years but it’s the second marriage fro both of us. Do you know each other’s love language? I have found that when I focus on my husband’s love language I feel more loving myself. It can be as simple as if I haul myself up off the couch to get myself a cup of tea, I ask if he wants anything. So simple but it adds up.
So I read once you talked yourself out of love with them you can talk yourself right back in love with them. So I just started looking at the things that are all over that I can use to boost my feelings for him. Like sure he got snippy as he was fixing blah blah but he was fixing blah blah for me on his day off. It wasn’t a need but a want and he spent his day off doing that for me. So I basically Made myself stop getting amnesia about the things he does cuz he loves me. I hope that makes sense. I started storing those things up. I pull them out when I need em.
My husband took his own life last month, leaving me, at 45, with 4 kids under 15 yrs old. He was all those things to me, my greatest love, best friend, life partner, wonderful dad etc. And I would saw off my right arm to have him back. I think I took him for granted and now I know most people do the same with their spouses. Imagine them vanishing from your life with no warning and that will help you appreciate them. Hug them tight, tell them they're precious to you. You never know when you won't have the chance again.
😢I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I can't even imagine your pain but I know it's not your fault & there's nothing you could've done.. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers..
I've been with my husband for 20 years, through all SORTS of ups and downs. But one of the best things about a relationship that long is that our communication has gotten better every year, and especially our abilities to communicate what we need from the other person to help US be our best. My husband and I both need a lot of prompts about what we SHOULD be doing, instead of spending our time on the internet, doomscrolling. But the one thing we started doing two years ago that really brings us together is to choose a few anime shows a season to watch together. We don't have normal TV, and I especially tend to not take the time to sit down and watch something myself (I like to listen while doing other things), but for this we sit down together on the couch the night it airs, snuggle and laugh together...or cry together for some shows. We met in Anime Club in college, so this is something we do to keep our love as young as the day we met.
My person and I have been in each other's orbit for 27 years (eeek, doesn't feel that long sometimes but sometimes I feel every single day). We do a check each morning to see what our day looks like, then that evening, before we get into anything else we have a decompress session to talk about what we encountered during the day. Also, on road trips, we make a playlist (both adding songs) and we sing very badly to all of those songs - laughing all the way to our destination. That's become a tradition - we call it Murdering the Hits. LOL
My husband and I have been married for 32 years. We do little things for eachother like when I see his soap is almost gone in the shower I'll replace it or I'll tell him how proud of him I am for doing such a great job at work or around the house. He does the same for me. He knows how much I can't stand mess or clutter so after dinner he will help me load the dishes. He will also tell me how much he appreciates my cooking and taking care of the house. I guess it all comes down to respect and caring.
I'm not saying that we never annoy the poop out of eachother, because hello... we are human lol, BUT when those times come up I remember the little things he does for me like I listed above or the big things like taking care of me after surgeries I've had and when I've dealt with illness. ❤
I'm not adhd but I live with chronic pain and the fog that comes with it, I love your tips as with a little work they have helped me so much. I can only set non negotionables with the understandig that when my pain leaves me bedbound I am aloud to forgive me and start fresh when I can move again. Thank you.
Yes❤ I too suffer with a chronic illness and small chunks of activity and forgiveness to ourselves if today is just not what we imagined . Hugs
Same 😢❤
ADHD…AND chronic pain. Plus I just moved across country after 71 years in my hometown. A month later, I still have unpacked boxes…I’m a Hot Mess!
Same here, chronic pain, and I've become a master procrastinator. Ever since becoming disabled and unable to work, I no longer have any conception of time. I don't even watch TV, which used to help me at least keep track of what day of the week it was. It used to be so easy to stay on top of everything, but now it's just a free-for-all. 🙃
@@suestone5076don't feel bad! I moved homes almost 15 years ago & I still have 1 box in a corner. At this stage I don't even remember what's in it! 😂 I should probably declutter it without looking inside, coz I clearly don't need anything in there. 😅
I love that that kiss is a non negotiable 😍
I haven't even finished the video and I'm so excited you posted this! Just recently diagnosed at 32 and it's like the clouds have parted. Finally, it makes sense that I am not just a failure at life.
Anyways, just wanted to say thanks and share a recent "tool" (more like technique?) I've acquired that is helping me to be more successful in just DOING things. I saw multiple people post the need for a "brain dump" so I took the time to get some fancy, bright gel pens and wrote out every single pending item on my mental to-do list - from accounting items to needing to schedule kids dentist appts - and made each item in a different color (simply so it was engaging and pretty!)
And, here's the "success" part, instead of a bulleted list or check boxes, I take a moment to draw a little icon outline instead of a bullet point. i.e. a simple daisy or little blob figure with eyes. When I finish that item on my list, I get to take a few moments to color the icon in with my gel pens and honestly I feel dumb even admitting it but it's so. much. more. motivating to know there's a tiny coloring moment at the end of each task! Thanks again for sharing your tips!
Thanks for sharing. I have struggled to make any tips at all to motivate me to create a routine or give myself the structure I am aware I *need* to function. So every single day is a struggle.
I am not reward motivated for the most part. I am more motivated to do things for *someone else* but there isn't a someone else when the person it is for is *me*.
I do however liked the idea of brain dumping, but having it all down, won't get me to actually *do* anything listed. Crossing things off really isn't a thing for me. I really don't care.
But this idea of coloring in a small image could work for me.
I love pens, and lots of color, and doodling.
This could work for me.
And well even if it doesn't I am still grateful you shared and I took the time to read people's comments today.
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I can wholly relate to struggling daily - I swear I wake each day with great intentions but rarely feel like I've done ANYTHING worthwhile by the end of the day. I'm also glad I posted... maybe a little doodle will help you to feel a little more "in order" and therefore, less stressed/happier overall 😊 all my best!
This is a great idea! You get a little shot of fun and maybe dopamine when you get to color in an icon when you finish something on your list! For those of us with a lost inner child or an artistic side this is perfect! Thanks for sharing! ❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉
There is nothing dumb about your idea, it’s great and I’ll be adopting it. Thank you 😊
We have been married for 47 years! We are also together 24/7 because we are retired. I took a job cleaning an hour and a half to get away from him! Seriously some days it's the best hour and a half of the day. He is losing his memory and he can't really hear anymore. So the next time you think of growing old together, just know it gets worse from today on,😂😂😂. I love him all day every day and he still tries to make sure I'm safe and don't fall or something. Then there's the days when he gets on a subject and we literally spend the day on one subject. Recently he said he needed underwear, or he'd have to do laundry. Well we bought him underwear, he came home and did laundry cuz he was low on underwear? 😅 yeah it doesn't get better! Love your video's.
I work evenings and my husband works days. So we only see each other on weekends it's perfect lol.
Oh man…..time blindness is that what’s this is called!!!! It makes it feel so much better when there’s a name to this malfunction!!!! Cas this is so so valuable for us adhd folk! So many of your tips have helped me in countless ways. I have a friend who has had to medicate her adhd. But over the years with all your tips and books recommendations atomic habits, Peter Walsh and Gretchen I have not needed to take prescriptions!!! Thank you for years of mastering adhd for all of us!!!❤
I have borderline ADHD, autism and anxiety. I also struggle with time management.
Part of my time management problems (I named it myself and have never heard anyone talk about this before so I'm probably the only one who feels this) is managing what I call "time targets." A time target is a specific time I have to be ready to do something or be somewhere. One of them is bedtime by 11 at night. I'm either 30 minutes early or crawling into bed at 12 at night.
To solve this, I give myself a "time window," so instead of telling myself I want to be in bed by 11, I'll tell myself to get into bed between 11-11:30.
Note: I didn't realize how long this was. If you made it to the end, thanks for your time! Take care!
Every Saturday night our local radio station does a 90s Saturday night and we’ve made it a tradition to listen every Saturday. Sometimes we play board games, sometimes we watch football, sometimes we make a meal together if we’ve put it off that late. And for certain songs we will stop whatever we’re doing and go in and dance together. Neither of us are great dancers but it’s a beautiful way to just connect ❤
We are married for 20 years.
I ask my husband every night. " Did i tell you that i love you today?" and " Did i show you that i love you today? And how did i show you?"
Maybe you know the book of the different love languages.
So by asking him i can learn how to love him more.
And the other way round.
I just wanted to let you know how inspired I got after listening to you.
I too, struggle with ADHD and was diagnosed in my late thirties.
I have adopted the pomodoro technique which has been a life saver.
Anywho, I decided to give myself 30 days to do a complete house declutter.
We're talking going from daunting to dazzling and decluttered.
I'm on my 15 day and the results are amazing.
It is so cathartic and I find myself being so darn proud of myself with each item I "Chuck".
I'm planning on being done on my 49th birthday and will have the greatest "reveal" party.
I just wanted to let you know the gratitude I have for sharing with all of us other ADHD'ers
I love this idea! Good luck 🎉
Only 9 years here, but I find that 2 things help. 1, some alone time away from each other. He has 2 days in the office and while I know he doesn't like commuting, I will admit the alone time has been sooooo needed and I didn't even realize at first how much I needed it! He also has a couple of hobbies that I have 0 interest in so he heads off to go do those 2ish times a week. I also have a couple of hobbies that he has no interest in so having that level of alone time is so necessary. Number 2 is having a date night once a week. Now we don't always go out for date night sometimes we stay in, but the point is to ON PURPOSE spend time together. A lot of times we just watch something, but so often we're just in the same room (apartment living y'all) without intentionally being together that when we DO decide to do the same task and focus on being there with each other it feels so different. So I guess the idea is to find a way to separate when your just together vs BEING together to make it more quality.
So my husband is a Firefighter and works 48 hour shifts. Every morning that he comes home from shift, we have a huge hang on tight hug. It last until both of us are done, sometimes we have a 5 minute hug, sometimes it's 30 seconds. But it's our way of reconnecting, resetting since he's been gone to work. It really helps our relationship and has become special for us.
I've been married to my husband for almost 13 years and sometimes I have to stop and write out a list of why I'm thankful for my husband. I write specific things that he does or says within the past week or 24 hours that make me appreciate him or feel love towards him. I don't usually show him the lists. They're mainly for me to remind myself of the wonderful man that I get to be with, flaws and all. It feels good to feel grateful that he's mine and I'm his.
Love that!
Thank you Cas. My husband and I have been married 33 years. We hold hands a lot, hug and kiss each other hello and goodbye and snuggle on couch to watch our favorite shows… 😊💕
Amen, sister! I get butterflies when I watch my husband do something major that a lot of people can't do. Just think I'm so lucky. Then back to everyday life! 😂
45 plus years together. He retired in 2019 was an adjustment for both of us. We do lunch together once a week away from home, go for drives to look at leaves changing, and have once a week movie nights. We love the old ones like Bringing up Baby. We drink coffee together on the porch and discuss our week of appointments and to do lists for that week. He still makes me laugh with his sense of humor one of the many reasons I fell in love with Him. Laughter is good for the soul and your health. Always say I love you to each other before sleeping. Never forget what you felt for each other while dating.
LOVE your 3 things: Make, Clean, Finish! I can relate to so much of what you said re: forgetting, getting distracted, starting stuff but not finishing. Never thought about using my Alexa to remind me! Thanks for a great video.
I totally understand what you are saying Cas!!! 😂 Me and my husband own/run a trucking company out of our home...we are together all the time! We have been together for 22 years also...I love him with every inch of my soul, but there are times when I ask, "Why are you breathing so loud?!" 😂😂 But, I we have 1 rule, no matter if we are getting along great, or mad at each other at the time, we always have to end the night with a kiss and a hug...It is non-negotiable! I always think of, what if it is the last time you see/talk to them...End the day on a good note💞
My husband goes outside to his building and does stuff out there. We are still close enough to each other if we need something but have enough space to have alone time. Three of our five kids are still at home so i get less alone time than him 😅. We also try to be spontaneous, so if we are running errands or in town for some reason, we may randomly go out to eat at a sit down restaurant. It is important to make sure and put the devices down in order to fully enjoy each others company in a minorly romantic environment. We have been married almost two decades. I hope this helped. I love you so much. I am interested in checking out minimalist mom though too. Have a great day babe!!🎉❤😊
Both my husband and I are retired. YIKES! I never get the house to myself! I used to be able to blast MY music and do whatever but now I have to work AROUND him. Love him but wish he wasn't such a homebody. I've now taken to regularly reminding myself of all that he does around the house - maintaining our vehicles, yard work, clearing snow, cooking (woo hoo!), repair and maintenance of the house. It gives me a thrill to realize I'm NOT all by myself and makes me want to do more for him.
I know what you mean about relationships been with my partner 22 years to. It help if we have intrests of our own and also some we do together. I love all your advice its very helpful.
Great tips thank you. I was just diagnosed in January of this year at the age of 49 1/2…. I have many systems in place already but the procrastination is kicking my butt. To my hubby- I say thank you to him at least once a day for the things he does around the house and for being patient with all my adhd stuff. 😂
This was so fun! Love the 60 second kiss too!
I thought so too! Thanks so much for your input on this!
My husband and I work together at home so we started lunch dates. We'll pick a day and go out for lunch- sometimes it's pizza sometimes fancier but there's no pressure and we enjoy it.
Love your videos Cass! Dancing at home is always fun :). Pull up ballroom dancing videos and learn how to dance or just pull up music to slow dance...one of my favorites is the song "At Last" with Etta James singing it....Frank Sinatra any of the old time music is fun :). Do a surprise dance in the kitchen!
We go on a "couples walk" a few times a week. Sometimes we stop for breakfast, sometimes we hold hands. We always talk, and we both always love it! It helps us feel closer and gives us some time together when nothing else is asking for our attention!
I've build an "anti-procrastination" day into my schedule. On that day, it doesn't matter what else is going on! I HAVE to spend at least 15 minutes working on whatever I'm procrastinating on. And I always make my "I am procrastinating on these things" list on a different day. Lol Anti-Procrastination day? Pull out my list and choose one. 15 minutes! That's it!
I am a widow, but not very old though. Don't take your relationship for granted period things I wish I would have done : more holding his hand, smiling at him, giving him a hug from the back. Just silly stupid things like that. Cooked together and talk, just me and him.. No tv, no phones, no kids, just me and him, talking, and just being.
Thank you for your advice.
Thank you Cass! Executive function issues and time blindness can paralyze me into semi-permanent paralysis.
Out of all the treatments I had for my ADHD in college, the thing that helped me most was my group therapy. This is going to sound awful, but I mean it in the best way: watching others do the assholey things I was doing because I didn't have my ADHD under control was a real eye opener. The combination of meds and CBT supported that process, of course. I now religiously use my planner, it's my anchor. I don't have relationship advice for you, I'm in the middle of a separation after a 10 year relationship; my advice from that is that the kindest thing you can do sometimes is fight and draw sharp boundaries. So you don't end up with an open tab so long that you can't be your best self anymore. Ask for what you need.
I have been with my husband for 13 years, married for 7. We met at work. We lived, worked, carpooled together for a while and have also lived and work apart. We support each other always and give each other space to grow. We are the very best of friends and love being and doing thing together the most, but we also do solo stuff. We travel and hang out together and with friends separately. Solo activities and trips allow us the chance to miss each other, share new stories, and when we get home... we let each other know we were missed.😉
"GIVE ME YOUR FACE BRO" 😂😂😂
Lol love that to.😊
We have been married 30 years & now I'm disabled! My hubby does so much for me & we are together 24/7 too. When I feel a good day I try to let him rest more & at least 1 day a week I let him lay longer in bed to rest. But I do wish he'd get himself a hobby or go out somewhere sometimes because I feel I've taken over his life !! Love your videos Cad I resonate so much with you 😅
Going on a couples retreat helped us find new ways to communicate and feel more connected. It was great. I feel like we could use another couples retreat together that focusses more on how to schedule in date nights when you and your budget both feel exhausted, and how get back on track when you fall back into the groove of everyday life.
I have been married for 34 years, before the kids were gone it helped to have a date night. Now that kids are gone, separate times away from each other. We also try to find things we both like to do, right now we go Pokémon hunting together. Exercise and working on tasks together.
I look for ways to show my husband how much I love him, a random text (you can text him even if he’s at home) give him a massage. …My husband works away, I like to try to have the house cleaned up & myself freshened & greet him when he gets home. I don’t always do it & I need to work on that more. But yeah just remind yourself of how you felt about him in the beginning of the relationship. I have friends that have lost their husbands so it definitely helps me be more thankful & loving to mine❤️
Late response bc I'm watching a bit late. My husband and I have been married 25 years this year. We decided to celebrate all year bc you know, it's a big deal and we don't want to become each other's old hat. It's been so good -- best year yet 1) appreciate/compliment every day 2) learn something new together that's new for both of you 3) reminisce about the early days
I actually love that you call your husband bro 😂 I tried that with my husband and he got maaaad 😂
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but I think I have it or at least ADD. I put the Pro in procrastinate!The two of you have explained so much of the struggle I deal with. Marriage..I've been married for 39 years. Since 2020 he's been home more..working at home 2 days a week. It can be too much however, I'm more productive when he's here because I feel more accountable..must be an obliger 😏 Unconditional love and alot of grace are non-negotiable. When I feel myself mentally nit-picking my husband, I stop and think of all my bad habits and shortcomings and how he rarely points them out. The 60 second thing is a great idea. My husband needs more affection than I do and I make an effort to give him shoulder rubs when he's hunched over the keyboard, a quick kiss and he often reaches for my hand when we're out and about. Love is a choice and marriage is worth fighting for.
I’ve been with my husband since we were 11 years old. We married at age 21, so at 41 we have been married 20 years and 30 years all together!
Sounds like our life. Together, 42 years married, 38 years. Our sons are 34 and 33. It's wonderful.
Praying for him and with him. Acknowledging the things he does to try and serve me or make me happy. Finding ways to serve him. Putting his needs or happiness above my own (not in an unhealthy way, but as scripture says to humbly consider others as more important). Not allowing myself to meditate on negative thoughts about him. Taking your time during physical intimacy is also bonding. All these are just to name a few. ❤
Omg, this is so funny! Just a couple days ago, I was reading a battle between 2 people that left comments on your video. One, said they liked you but thought you were a one trick pony, always talking about ADHD, so your content is always the same…the other, fought them tooth and nail, (as I would too). Well, for the record you nay sayers, 2 things, 1st…I agree with the other fan who said, there are sooo many others to watch, if this isn’t for you…ah bye bye..2nd? THIS video was JUST what I needed!
I have ADHD, I have an adult child with Aspergers/ADHD, (he likes you too), and we have NEVER felt like your content isn’t fresh, or whatever the heck that non believer said. TOO FUNNY, the topic was soooo in their face and EXACTLY what we needed to hear today! It was helpful and I can’t wait to put it to use. 💕❤ You go girl….and please MORE help for us ADHDers!
Your always so very generous! Gonna download templates now. I have been trying so hard for so long to get it together in my home. But, depression really hit me and pulling myself out of it can be tough. I know seeing little things accomplished help, so I think the small task will help me tremendously. I often try to do hours at a time, it doesn’t work for me but the 15 min and a designated area may! 😊
❤
SEnding Best energy to help you. Cass is AWESOME
So I've been married 48 years. It is a lot of work especially when you both work from home, together sometimes, raising kids, etc. You need to cultivate some time apart but it is hard during the child-raising season. My husband is not a traveler but I love to travel. Once our children were grown and on their own, I began to travel with my sisters and with a friend. As time moved on, I traveled with grandchildren. I'm not saying you need to travel alone but it is fair to say find some individual interests, things to do on your own, things unique to you to then take back and share with your spouse.
Moving is helping you in many aspects of your life❣️❣️❣️
You have slim down so much ❣️❣️ You mentioned that your organization ways have changed for the better ❣️❣️❣️ I am so happy for you 🎉❣️❣️
Hmm I think I might need to get tested - everything you just said is my struggle in life too - time blindness (people who know me call it ‘Melanie time’!?), having not enough structure vs having too much structure in my day, non-negotiables to make sure I don’t feel overwhelmed and useless, not being able to keep a planner and being stupid forgetful, and getting major distraction moving from one thing to another without even realising!! And the list could go on 😅 Thanks so much for sharing your tips Cas!! 🤓🤩
My husband and I have known each other almost 50 years and yesterday I made him belly laugh which hasn't happened in awhile. He was telling me about a friend with quite a few classic cars so I merely asked him if he was going to leave me for the guy with the cars. When he told his friend about it he thought it was funny, too, but I have nothing to worry about. Humor is so important. This is the second time we've been married to each other and it's been more years this time around than the first time. I quit being a control freak and realized he's a God given blessing to my life.
Temptation Bundling *everything* possible with something fun (e.g. podcast + dishes) has been key for me. In the same way keeping a gratitude journal programs you over time to notice the good things in life more, temptation bundling during and/or right after boring tasks has programmed me to find dull things way less off-putting and occasionally *fun*. I NEVER would have imagined that!!!
I've never heard the term temptation bundling! So cool! I call it going to "Zombie town" because the good podcast, video or audiobook kind of shuts my brain off and my body just moves and cleans without me realizing what I'm doing!
@@Clutterbug Love that! 😄You have a wonderful way with words!
Yes! I'm only allowed to watch new episodes of my show if I'm on the treadmill. I call my grandma and parents when I'm stuck in traffic on my commute home. Bring joy to the boring or frustrating things!
My plans are written on index cards, which consist of daily entries, one card a day, and this is my calendar. These cards are held together with binder clips. I got this idea years ago working at a hospital and saw some of the interns and residents using them, and putting them in their lab coat pockets.
Coversation with myself after watching today's video: "leave a sweet comment for Cass later. You don't have time ight now, must go deal with laundry i forgot in the washer, feed the dogs on the way to the laundry room, put my water bill payment in the mailbox, dust the shelf by the front door (it's hideous)....OH MY GOSH! Look at these stairs! When was the last time I cleaned these? I should call mom and see what she's up today. Mmmm, I should make banana bread. Maybe I'll paint those bookshelves this afternoon before I make dinner. I need to bring those plants inside from the patio before they freeze to death.. OHHH! There's the new book I started reading the other day. It's getting really good. I think I'll read for a bit before I go do whatever I was on my way to do. I should get a drink first." The struggle is real, my friend!
It’s a God send that I found you because I think I have undiagnosed ADHD. I feel like out of sight out of mind but then the house gets out of control quickly and it causes me to feel like my life is out of control! I’ve actually been organizing during Christmas break and it’s been hard for me but it feels good to look at what I’ve done.
Marriage tip: keep God first for real! If my husband and I would have done that we would still be together. Now that he’s gone I now would do anything for a kiss and a hug or a look…anything from him. I’m praying for my husband and marriage restoration and am believing he’s coming home soon
Absolutely love your beautiful way you give information that I can retain and be motivated. We moved from a big house to a small tiny house and I let our family move us. Never do that . I am after 2 years of living in a sea of boxes you motivated me to start getting it organized and have a place. I am not in very good physical health but I am trying to do a little at a time. It works bless you I needed you in my life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
You’re awesome!! We’ve been together for almost 14 years and we have never disrespected the other when we disagree, we communicate and compromise. We don’t yell or argue and we agree to disagree. We always say Thank you for everything and we let each other know how much we appreciate the other. We are not perfect but we try to always lift each other up, recognize when we are wrong and apologize and do for each other. Things may bother us about each other but when you focus on the good qualities, the little things are nothing. Overall, after many frogs, I was blessed with a good man and he says the same for me! I’m grateful every day. You have to live every day as if it could be your last and enjoy everything. Time is not promised to anyone and you have to appreciate everything and everyone in your life.❤
I don’t have a significant other and don’t really see myself settling down, but I do have cats. Now I’m not a crazy cat lady yet, but I do look at them and immediately smile and think to myself how lucky I am to have them in my life. Now I haven’t had them for 20 years but in the four years we have spent together my love for them has grown and I look at them and immediately feel at peace, happy, and feel all of the love in the world for them. I assume this is how people feel with kids although when a child yells maybe not so much. My cats also have temper tantrums and I feel annoyed but 10 minutes later I’m over it and thankful again. I have no advice on how to keep that feeling but I know with my pets in the past that feeling never went away. I think the problem with humans is that they have more annoying tendencies, they can bring in toxic energy, and there isn’t much control you can have over them, so you’re really just stuck with them unless you get a divorce. Which I’m not suggesting in your case but I think you just have to accept them for who they are and have a calm collected conversation about the issues you have and when they are fixed you will feel appreciated and loved and that will make you feel thankful and happy for their existence.
I have a reminder to write him a note periodically about the good things I see in him or have seen him do. (They need your praise, peeps!)
Hi Cas.😊 my husband and I married 12 years ago, we combine our family and raise 5 kids, our marriage was not very successful at the beginning, you can imagine 2 kids on there teens a boy 13 and a girl 13 with only months of difference a 11 year girl, a 3 year girl and a baby boy. Wasn't easy, we were exhausted and the kids didn't make it easy, coming from a broken family to a new one, it was difficult on them also, so 1 new parent all together. Like you said it's all bananas 😂. So we know we love each other and we want to fight for our own children and family. We make a rule, ones a month for the whole weekend we got away, we rent a hotel room on Friday night and came back until Sunday evening, we take our time from our daily life, we go to dinner🍽, to the movies🏞, we sleep late, 😴 so we reacquainted to each others ❤, reload and back to our family, we never go to sleep with out said I love you 😊. Even when we're mad, or frustrated. And never ever parter without a big kiss 💋 not negotiable 😅
"And the kids didn't make it easy..." should they have?? Adults break families and the children suffer. Strangers do not a family make.
I haven't been in a relationship in some time but were I in your shoes, I would make sure to spend some time out of the house. Either on your own, with kids, or friends, and he stays home. Or he goes out and you stay home.
Also my current secrets to getting anything done: my therapist, my bullet journal, and when I remember it, the Anti-Planner. @How to ADHD has a video about it.
Now our kids are older, we get away together every year for our anniversary (just this week we celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary), even when its crazy busy like this year, we have at least one night together, alone. We do try for 2 or 3 nights, but we can't always manage that. This year, we squeezed in one night in the middle of the week, we drove (meandered) to the town 2 hrs away, did some shopping, had a fancy dinner, stayed in a fancy motel, and drove (meandered) home the next afternoon. It gives us time to focus on each other, and not be constantly interrupted by phone calls, children, and animals. We ALWAYS come home feeling more in love, and remembering why we like each other, just in case we had forgotten.
Every morning, I make his coffee and bring it to him. Whenever he gets up I get up whether I could sleep in or not. It’s my way of saying you are important to me, you are more important to me than my sleep(which I love sleep even though I don’t get to all the time) and I love you.
That is so sweet!
Walk outside, hold hands. There is something about walking together like this that encourages conversation and laughter.
Ok thanks!
Good tips! I am over 60 and only this year have consistently started using a planner; I finally found one that works for me. (Um well yes, I bought it at Aldi’s TWO YEARS ago!) And oh I so relate to the chewing toenails on the couch!!!
We’ve been married for over 60 years. My husband always put my shoes so I could get out of bed and slip into them. I just climb in bed and let them drop Lol. I am now his full time caregiver so I get him all the things he needs now. He always did this for me but can’t do much. So our places have changed some. I love doing this for him now. I do miss my shoe thing he did for me. It’s the little things that make a difference. Cherish your loved ones.
60 years! Your love sounds eternal. My heart swelled reading your comment ❤
I noticed that the 4-color system Robin mentioned was VERY much like the Eisenhower Matrix. As for a planner, if you have problems with making lists, you might want to try the SHE system from The Slob Sisters (may they rest in peace). There are 4 of their books that could be very helpful. In short, their system involves making ONE list of everything you need to do to maintain your home from cleaning the kitchen sink to cleaning out the garage. It also includes your favorite things for yourself, errands and community commitments. Then, each item is written on a 3 x 5 card and filed in a jumbo file box with numbered dividers. This part of the system can vary and each item can be put on your digital calendar as well.
Note: The system began in 1977. Their rule was if any task was skipped more than 2 times (with an x in the "skipped" space) then it HAD TO BE DONE the next time it showed up in the system.
The books are: Sidetracked Home Executives From Pigpen to Paradise, The Sidetracked Sisters Catch Up on the Kitchen, The Happiness File, and Get Your Act Together.
I enjoy your videos and the collaborations when similar people work together. Keep up the good work.
I love inviting guests over and getting a professional cleaner , I clean more myself when the cleaner is in 😂😂😂 brilliant hack
Together for 34 years and we laugh a lot! He is the kindest most loyal person and I love him lots ... but I understand the wanting to get away from him sometimes!!!
Date nights help recapture some of that butterfly feeling I think. I also work hard to notice the good things and thank him and also thank God for him; it reminds me he’s a gift from God (all my loved ones are!). And every time I feel frustrated with my husband, I also try to pray about it. It helps me release the frustration and process whether the issue is worth addressing.
36 years together and yes mostly at home. I concentrate on his strengths, his beautiful eyes and infectious laugh. And he smiles when I bring him a cup of tea. I always hear women complain of something of their husband's and I don't want to have that doing through my head. I want to cherish our love. Funny thing he says, I can't walk past you without you wanting to hug me. Lol well we should all want that right?
Thank you for all you do, Cas. You are changing lives, one life at a time.
First medical responder - Big Congrats!!!❤!!!
I love watching you and Robyn. You both really motivate me to get things done.
For me: have a break from each other for everythings sake! Go away on your own. Have him go away on his own. Rejoice when you see each other after a week (and enjoy the free week!) My partner is working from home, but also travels for work quite a bit, so I get free days and sometimes weeks, and I'm telling you: I love those free days (and love him coming back, too, but only after a while..)
Kissing your husband for 60 seconds, (non-negotiable 😂) is just the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard! Good for you! ❤
Thank you, I learn something new on every video❤ Time blindness is so Real!