Speaking Well When Put On The Spot with Matt Abrahams
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- Опубликовано: 19 июн 2024
- Does the thought of being suddenly called upon to speak in a meeting or standing up to explain something to a large group send your heart racing and palms sweating? You're not alone. This episode of Speaker Dynamics - Own The Room dives deep into the art of mastering those pulse-pounding moments, transforming them from sources of anxiety into opportunities for impactful communication. Emmy-winning journalist Karin Reed sits down with Matt Abrahams, author of "Think Faster, Talk Smarter," to unravel the secrets of spontaneous speaking.
Karin and Matt dissect the essentials of thriving in unscripted scenarios: from the critical need for mental preparation to adopting a mindset that views these opportunities as a stage for authenticity rather than a test of perfection. Matt, drawing from his wealth of experience and the practical advice in his book, shares invaluable strategies that anyone can use to communicate more effectively on the fly.
Key takeaways include:
Preparation Techniques: How to equip yourself mentally for any speaking situation, emphasizing the importance of having ready-to-go content.
Adopting the Right Mindset: Viewing spontaneous speaking moments as opportunities rather than threats, and how this perspective shift can reduce anxiety.
Authenticity Over Perfection: Embracing your true self as the key to genuine connection, rather than striving for an unattainable standard of perfection.
Managing the Inner Critic: Strategies to silence self-doubt and foster a more supportive internal dialogue.
The Power of Listening: Understanding the critical role of active listening in effective communication, including tips for being fully present and engaged.
Redefining Small Talk: Shifting perception of small talk from a mundane task to a valuable opportunity for creating connections, fostering collaboration, and building trust.
This episode is packed with actionable advice for professionals eager to enhance their communication skills, whether in high-stakes environments or day-to-day interactions. By adopting these strategies, listeners will learn to navigate spontaneous speaking moments with greater confidence and authenticity.
Tune in for a transformative exploration of spontaneous speaking with Karin Reed and Matt Abrahams, and make sure to check out the bonus episode on public speaking anxiety available on the Speaker Dynamics website for even deeper insights into conquering communication challenges.
Quotes:
“Most of us want to give the right answer, the best feedback, be the most interesting in small talk. And the reality is you just need to get it done. You just need to connect. So it's not about perfection. It's about connection. So the desire to be right, seeing these situations as threats and challenges, and the anxiety that comes on top of all of that is why people do so poorly in these circumstances.” (5:05 | Matt Abrahams)
“Many of us go into small talk treating it like a game of tennis, where we want to serve an ace. We want to get it over the net and make it land well. Rather, small talk should be perceived as that game of hacky sack. You remember, Karin, where you've got that beanbag ball and you're just trying to keep it up? And the best way to do that is serving it to somebody so that they can then return it to you easily. So be interested, ask questions, comment on things in the environment. That gets conversation going. Avoid doom loops. Hi, how are you? Fine, how are you? Now we're no better off than we were. So ask questions that are open, that get people to sharing more information, relate to things that are in the moment or in the context. That's how you make yourself interested and that's how you make Smalltalk go better.” (19:16 | Matt Abrahams)
“It's counterintuitive to prepare to be spontaneous, but if you take the time in a methodical way, you will become more comfortable and confident speaking in the moment.” (21:38 | Matt Abrahams)
Links
Connect with Matt Abrahams:
LinkedIn: / maabrahams
RUclips: / @thinkfasttalksmart
Twitter: / tftsthepod
Instagram: / thinkfasttalksmart
Connect with Karin Reed:
Website: www.speakerdynamics.com
Bonus Content: www.speakerdynamics.com/bonuscontent
Speaker Dynamics University: university.speakerdynamics.com/
Speaker Dynamics on Instagram:
/ speakerdynamics
Karin Reed on LinkedIn: / karin-reed
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
This was very positive for me, thank you kindly.
Thank YOU for watching!
I can relate to this. The more I allowed myself permission to be less than perfect, and took that pressure off myself, the easier it has become to get through a public speech. Doesn't mean I'm a great speaker yet, but losing some of those panic symptoms already helps.
Not pursuing perfection is very freeing. I love when he says "Maximize your mediocrity!" It's excellent advice and does wonders to tamp down that pesky public speaking anxiety that we all face at one point or another.
Taking a class from Matt Abrahams at Stanford a long while ago has had a significant positive impact on my future! His insights and strategies for communicating more effectively on the fly are invaluable. Matt’s teachings on preparation techniques, adopting the right mindset, embracing authenticity, managing the inner critic, and the power of active listening have truly transformed how I approach talks - planned and spontaneous. His sage advice on redefining small talk has especially helped me create meaningful connections effortlessly. If you’re eager to enhance your communication skills, I highly recommend tuning in to his sessions. Thank you, Matt, for equipping us with such practical and transformative tools!
Matt is one of my communication heroes! I’ve had the pleasure of lecturing to his classes at the GSB at Stanford and always learn so much myself.
Having time to prepare to speak only gives me more time to develop the fear. It starts as soon as I know that I will be asked to speak. Once i am triggered i can no longer form thoughts or speak.
Public speaking anxiety is incredibly common with some research indicating it is shared by 85% of people. Matt Abrahams’ work is so valuable for helping us all manage that fear. I’d suggest checking out his books and videos which offer many different strategies to combat it.
Thank You 🎉
I found this episode really effective, the tools, techniques, illustrations, while not novel, were well presented with clear and actionable insights. The permission to "maximize mediocrity" was an interesting insight.
Some critique, however, was Matt began reading something to the bottom right that was clearly taking his attention when Karin was asking questions from about the halfway mark in the video. It could have been an urgent message from his family, or more likely, his speaker notes/key messages. I found this counter-intuitive to the message about listening, and very distracting. From a production perspective this could easily have been dealt with through editing, because when Matt spoke, he looked directly at the camera and presented with charisma. From an interviewee perspective, I don't know, perhaps a bulletted list of key messages on your monitor at camera level, or a teleprompter, or, perhaps just looking at the host and listening? 🙂
It's a shame, because everything else about this session was so good. And Karin, you really handled Matt's distraction with grace and aplomb.
What an interesting observation! It points to the fact that your body speaks loud and clear even when you don't realize it... and may be saying something you hadn't intended. In this case, I think Matt may have just been glancing down at his notes or even perhaps tilting his head to try to heighten his listening skills, removing the visual distraction. His responses to my questions were definitely spot on, so what may have been perceived as him being distracted could've been just the opposite.
We can easily misinterpret body language, especially on camera, when there's no context for the action. I often tell a story of a client who went through a hiring process that was completely virtual. On the final call with the hiring manager, she was disappointed when the manager never looked at the camera at all but rather looked down the entire time. My client assumed she was bombing the interview. Lo and behold, she was hired for the job. A few months later, she mentioned her impression of that call to her now boss who was flabbergasted. Her boss said she was simply taking copious notes because she was so impressed by what she was hearing. Two people in the same meeting - two very different impressions of how it went.
How can you eliminate a misinterpretation? Provide context for your actions. If you are taking notes and looking down (or off to the side where another monitor sits) let your conversation partner know that, so they can make sense of what they are seeing on the screen. Otherwise, they might think you are not paying attention to them. However, when you speak, always reconnect with the camera lens which serves as the de facto eyes of your conversation partner.
Thanks so much for watching and for your thoughtful comments!
@@karinreed6533 Thanks for your reply and great insight. Yep, I read the body language and made an assumption. Apologies for that. You're right Matt's answers and his engagement when speaking were spot on indeed. Also, setting the context upfront goes a long way to mitigate the assumptions, although it is still difficult to overcome our physiological responses. Anyway, great show. Thanks.
I truly appreciate the interest in watching and for the engagement. It’s always valuable to receive feedback - especially when it allows you to look at something from a different vantage point. Thanks again for watching!
@@karinreed6533 Thanks so much Karin for sharing this illuminating client story! As a career & leadership coach who often helps clients prepare for interviews, I often advise them to be careful not to make assumptions based on an interviewer's body language. The story you shared is such a pertinent example and one I may highlight with coaching clients.
Loved this episode and look forward to more in the future! Thank You for sharing your wisdom and expertise with the world.