Doctor, this is an EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT explanation of the Antisocial personality, explained in "folksy" terms and concepts, so it is understandable to the layman. Moreover, your explanation about the antisocial learning from the modeling presented by a benevolent clinician is something I never even considered. THANK YOU.
Reminds me sooo much of my ex-husband. Shortly before I left him, my cat's kitten just under a year old (so my grand-kitty) was left in my yard, dead, for me to find. There was NO comfort from him in any way shape or kind. It proved to me that l was making the *right* choice about leaving him. As l sat in another room, sobbing and preparing my wee girl for burial, l have NEVER forgotten the sound from another room where he sat laughing & watching some stupid comedy shows we normally didn't watch. He had a grand time. As l buried my innocent baby alone. 🐾🌈🇨🇦☮️
PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE I WAS MARRIED TO ONE FOR 9 years He told me he’d been diagnosed anti social I thought that meant he was shy or a homebody… he almost killed me twice
I think that needs to be clarified. I love being antisocial cause there are a lot of people who are greedy, selfish, rude, arrogant, controlling and a whole lot of other things and I find that it’s much easier to have inner peace and to be more productive not socializing with any of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if a huge portion of people with anxiety or depression are just surrounded by jerks all the time that’s draining all their energy like a cause and effect.
You are not anti-social then; you're merely an introvert...Anti-social are the people you described in your comment. The evil, nasty, jerks, and some of them might become criminals too!
I think there is a confusion with you between wanting to be alone and someone who has no empathy. Who is manipulative, selfish, abusive, deceitful, often greedy, arrogant, etc. Hopefully that's not you. Perhaps realizing there's people like that you know of and that's the reason you like to be alone.
If you have been effected by someone who is antisocial and they seek treatment, even if they get better you are already traumatized and most likely will be triggered by them anyway. If they get better fine, they can move forward with other people.
Yeah your right I say I love people but don't mean it I can fake it really good but I hate what I've become I go to therapy and psycologist every two weeks
That example of the difference between assertive and aggressive, other than the use of the word "idiot", isn't all that aggressive. Especially when dealing with someone who possibly has ASPD. Removing yourself from the relationship is wise and assertive.
Very interesting material here. I find that narcissists are this way as well...so low on empathy, yet when something happens to them? Oh Lord the end of the world i near...and no situation is like theirs🙄...
It is my understanding that a psychopath is born and that they don't fall under personality disorders, but are born without a conscience, while an ASPD is made like its fellow Cluster B personalities. My struggle is though that whether a malicious person is born that way or made that way, I sometimes feel bad for them. I believe you when you say they know right from wrong, yet isn't that still some kind of illness that is taking hold over them? It is painful in some situations to watch a loved one be that way, knowing nothing will change, but still unable to stay around for them given their abusive nature. I guess what I am trying to say is, would it be equally harsh to abandon them especially when you care for their well-being? Oh my god, it is exhausting.
Psychopathy is an outdated term and in the medical literature the only condition that is actually recognized and diagnosed by clinicians is ASPD. Because ASPD consists of the traits we would assign to psychopathy, if that makes sense.
How about "borderline personality disorder" due to childhood trauma?? I try to control my impulses & have had to live with myself for 65 years!!! 🍁🇨🇦❤️🌹
Biggest thing to help. Think about your blessing when your upset. Like yeah, this situation sucks and I want to rampage, but even though the situation sucks, I think about the good. Like how I have amazing children, amazing friends, I have a great job and roof over my head that I earned. So yeah, maybe I failed at something, but I won in so many others.
There is a difference between the 2. My view: keep watching YT videos on these character disturbances, there are 1000's of videos. Since human kind has been walking this planet toxic people are aplenty.
“Total Depravity” as described in Calvinism is the answer to your question about why there’s so many of these types out there today. The culture loosing it’s moral norms has allowed these people to drop their masks and still feel acceptance. But they have always been in mass abundance in every culture in all of world history.
Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person; this is done whether naked or clothed and is more commonly known as dry humping or dry sex.[20] When frottage includes genital-genital rubbing, it is sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing.[20]
Dr. Phil have you completed a discussion regarding the comorbidity of narcissistic personality disorder antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder can these exist simultaneously?
My ex definitely got worse with therapy. It was a line that was crossed where he changed permanently for the worse and much more manipulate. I suppose he figured why fake it anymore, just be as devious as possible since the mask dropped.
Another problem with psychologists is that they know all the right things to say, at least here on youtube but they do not really practice what they preach and I also found out some have pretty difficult diagnoses themselves and they lack empathy, and some show signs of grandiose narcissism at least but it always goes deeper than that. So I do wonder how is this possible because they are so vindictive that if a patient goes to them they will give them probably a diagnosis just for the heck of it. I also was on channels with trolls that attacked me when I commented like i do now, and they even have their own flying monkeys, and sometimes I did not even insult anyone but simply gave an opinion they misunderstood and I got attacked. Plus youtube has removed with its culture any right to have an opinion rewarding sociopathic narcissistic behavior. Now if society targets narcissists, who are the targeters and the stalkers? Personally, I am far from a narcissist and targeted, but somehow I thought at one point that I was just because I was defending myself from attacks from others, I felt it must be something wrong with me. But the point is that those that target, are at least as bad or worse than those targeted when there is a reason to target. There shouldn't be cause it is a crime against humanity
Psychology also needs more exact methods of knowing who is psychopath and who is untreatable so to speak. scan people¨s brains, create accurate emotional tests, and you do not have to worry people are one way but they are trying to manipulate you because once you set your mind someone is one way, you only see things subjectively. A machine can help you see if someone has an atrophy in their brain, if they do not have the limbic system very well developed. all other classification is otherwise mostly arbitrary.
@@antoinqueen8261 I read a couple of books on psychopathy, including "the psychopath whisperer" by Kent Kiehl. NO homework, just interested in the subject. I have met more than my share of cruel people and finding out they also rule us, did explain a lot.
What happened to a person to develop this personality or is it just genetic? I know someone from birth and such a sweet child after college and marrying a dominant narcist and this person turned into, I think as you have described as a antisocial personality. I am 5 years older.
childhood trauma creates either a codependent or a narcissist. the bad bad end of the npd spectrum is aspd, ie sociopath and psychopath. they say psychopaths are born that way too.
The problem is with empathetic behavior that it is also cultural norms that can model behavior, and some people learn the social norms in their particular environment too well and they do not deviate, because they think that is what normal is. But they will let their guard down and adapt again to other norms when they hear that another way to behave that is more empathetic and maybe even more in line with their natural disposition is normal and not some form of adaptation to a narcissistic environment where feelings are mocked when your husband or father tells you "what do you cry for? you should be a bit more manipulative and not such an idiot that anybody can play with." That is what psychological models usually do not think of. People grow up in families with certain norms. Countries have norms. In Sweden, you are not supposed to LOVE anything, but you are maybe supposed to LIKE them. You become very weird if you LOVE. Tell them you love your teacher. They think you are enamored with him. You have to say you like your teacher and be as specific as possible. Many social norms like this idea that you can punish learned bad behavior or bad genetics is also in my mind, a narcissistic and psychopathic norm that societies, ruled by this kind of people adopt. What good does it do? You should jail people if they are dangerous if they kill and torture, and get rid of the world's wars immediately.
So wtf do i do with this information as a person with ASPD??? Am i just a horrible person and there's no hope for me to ever be better? Should i just lock myself up in my house and give up on ever being able to share my life with someone? This was the worst video i could have ever watched. Im on here looking for help and hope and apparently im just fked
Please keep talk more about this disorder. Pretty sure I made the mistake of marrying someone with it. I love him so much, but I have stopped feeling safe around him because of his anger and other covert, underhanded things he has done to me. If that is not the end of a relationship, I don't know what is. He, however, thinks I should just turn the other cheek so we can move on, without addressing his abuse - which he, by the way, refuses to even acknowledge as having been abuse. :(
@@Ladeda27 Thank you. This has truly been a ride, a really bad one. I can't even mention that he has anger problems without him becoming even more angry. How he fails to see the hypocrisy is beyond me, but it is so sad because I wanted to spend my life with him. I kept hoping things would get better over time, but they don't. I can't move past fear, however, if he keeps feeding it so heavily. I am just broken by this, and once we part my life will be even harder because he cost me and my family both assets and dreams, so I will leave with nothing - and break even more. The price of love has been high for me. I never want another relationship. :(
@@sablebrown4139 it’s not a failure to see, he sees and knows what he’s doing. It’s a refusal to admit. They can never admit they are wrong in anything, including the way they treat you. Their mentality is you deserve to be treated they way they treated you Bc you didn’t give in to what they want. They are angry hateful abusive children in a grown ups body.
@@Ladeda27 I agree with everything you wrote. I, too, believe he fully knows what he has done. He was yelling at me last night that I refused to forgive him. I said no, I can forgive you, but I want to know what for. See, he keeps saying he can't apologize anymore, but he hasn't done it the first time, or if he did, it was so brief I didn't catch it. I told him, you say you apologized - WHAT did you apologize for? Another RUclipsr said to make them be specific, that you may be able to work with that somehow, but vague apologies are worthless. Specific ones . . . well, only worth a tiny bit more, but still. Anyway, I thought that making the apologies be specific was a good idea, so held to that. Result? Anger . . . building and building to the point I walked outside to get away before he boiled over totally (as he had only 30 minutes earlier, for the entire neighborhood to hear!). He did NOT want to say what he was sorry for, and likely because he was not sorry. So, yeah, totally agree with the angry, hateful, abusive children in grown up bodies statement you made. I do have to also add 'wounded,' and that's where I get stuck. Big ugly blow out and drama from him last night for NO sane reason, then today he calls wanting to help me, and in a broken voice when I refuse, "I don't want to lose you." That part of him I want to hug the hurt away from, but the monster is just under the surface, grinning at regaining power if I cave, so I have to know that while I soothe the child, I feed the monster who will take back over at first sign of me not being completely submissive or obedient, and then I will be called names, insulted, demeaned, menaced, and raged at all over again - and he'll deny any of it or say it is all my fault. So, sooooooooo over it! Argh.
If you think you are being abused and it feels like abuse, then it is abuse. You don't need to make up excuses for your husband's bad behavior. You claim that you think you might be abused, but love your husband so much. That is like saying I love the family dog even though he repeatedly mauls my hand every time I pet him. Try not to stY in an abusive relationship. You deserve better.
My older relative took me to Big Bear mountain, got out for five minutes, then he speeded down Big Bear I was yelling to stop the car, cars pulled over so we could pass. He said shut up or get out and walk. We got down at the bottom of the mountain then he said the brakes went out and he didn't want to scare me, and then he got on the freeway and speed 100 miles an hour home. I looked at the speedometer, "The breaks never went out" I was so scared. When he was older he allways went in and out of jail. He was kicked out of school.
Well I sure needed to have that explained to me....My son had a really bad accident at 17 yrs old...he flatlined 3 times from the ambulance and in hospital..his heart and lungs had been crushed...he came home but doctor had not prescribed any medication and I was so nervous I forgot to ask...the hospital he had gone to was a 3 hrs ride...I would hear him cry in pain...he had a friend..I believe that friend brought him some drugs to help his pain...but my son was never the same after...he's a great worker...but in 2011 he called me from his place of work..totally paranoid...he was seeing all kinds of things so we travelled to go get him..brought him straight to the hospital....doctor talked with him and I found out things I had to get out of the room....he stayed at the hospital to be seen by a " shrink" which he gave him something to calm him..he stayed with us..but one night..he went to a bar..which we had told him this we would not accept...came home and by his tone when he spoke to me...I could feel the anger...so I went to see him and he said I had called the police because there were police around...I said no..of course not..but then I told him to get his voice down..or get out...he grabbed me..said Mom.. and lifted me..banged me against the wall 3 times...I was knocked out completely...when I came to..I was so dizzy that I went outside by the back and ended up at a neighbors house...cops came to come get him and take him out of the house...I did write a report but asked the police to take him for treatments since he had been throu so much...but I heard he was diagnose to be Anti social disorder...since he's a man ..as his mother I wasn't allowed that information....we text I love my boy..but we don't interact ...
Jesus Christ can change anyone. Jesus is their only hope. Have y'all ever seen someone that's been changed because of Jesus? Their whole face changes. They are now a shining light with a beautiful smile. It is truly amazing. :))
I can appreciate your faith but it says in Roman's 1:28, 29 about the type of people that refuses to change and that God will not continue any longer to try and change that type of person. God gives them over to a "reprobate mind" In other words, some people will never change because they themselves, chose not to change. Unfortunately some people really dont want to change at all and not even God can make them change.
Trump wants what's best for the Amer people & our country, unlike Bozo whose main goal is to DESTROY it. Trump CARES abt people & would never leave Americans or our $85 billion in weaponry behind in Afghan. He is a true leader that cares with proven accomplishmt's. Promises Made, Promises Kept. The toxic person u need to worry abt is Bozo & his radical admin.
Ok I don't like how Dr. Phil explains it at 5:00 no offense. Because the person he's describing is still asking a couple questions before saying "Huh". The people I've encountered wouldn't ask any questions at all..
That sounds like x husband he has dice on ankle for con man he is very militative and when he doesn't get what he wants he makes it misrible for the other person or persons he was diagnosed with bipolar but I believe something more he said he had clowns in his head a good and bad he Drew them for me he belittle me he would put his hands around my neck and say he could kill me right then or a knife he would say he had gone into homes and just stooded in bedroom looking at the person sleeping and said he could kill them but he left there a lot more but some of what he done to me been away from him since 1997
I was diagnosed with APD and bipolar disorder, early 20's due to violent criminal activity. Gave my life to Christ at 26 and completely changed.
Doctor, this is an EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT explanation of the Antisocial personality, explained in "folksy" terms and concepts, so it is understandable to the layman. Moreover, your explanation about the antisocial learning from the modeling presented by a benevolent clinician is something I never even considered. THANK YOU.
Can you please do more of these
Reminds me sooo much of my ex-husband. Shortly before I left him, my cat's kitten just under a year old (so my grand-kitty) was left in my yard, dead, for me to find. There was NO comfort from him in any way shape or kind. It proved to me that l was making the *right* choice about leaving him.
As l sat in another room, sobbing and preparing my wee girl for burial, l have NEVER forgotten the sound from another room where he sat laughing & watching some stupid comedy shows we normally didn't watch. He had a grand time. As l buried my innocent baby alone. 🐾🌈🇨🇦☮️
Thank you for a very informative and helpful video. We must recognise antisocial people and stay away from them. They are truly dangerous people.
PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE
I WAS MARRIED TO ONE FOR 9 years
He told me he’d been diagnosed anti social
I thought that meant he was shy or a homebody… he almost killed me twice
It’s absolutely a shocker to here all different personalities and in each one you see something in a person you know! 😳
BE STRONG ENOUGH TO BE KIND
Some get jail house religious but lose it as soon as they get out
Or they come out with an arrogance because they now (think they) know more than everyone else
Factz 💯
I think that needs to be clarified. I love being antisocial cause there are a lot of people who are greedy, selfish, rude, arrogant, controlling and a whole lot of other things and I find that it’s much easier to have inner peace and to be more productive not socializing with any of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if a huge portion of people with anxiety or depression are just surrounded by jerks all the time that’s draining all their energy like a cause and effect.
true
You are not anti-social then; you're merely an introvert...Anti-social are the people you described in your comment. The evil, nasty, jerks, and some of them might become criminals too!
Absolutely. Way different.
I think there is a confusion with you between wanting to be alone and someone who has no empathy. Who is manipulative, selfish, abusive, deceitful, often greedy, arrogant, etc. Hopefully that's not you. Perhaps realizing there's people like that you know of and that's the reason you like to be alone.
@@user-in2xn4xc4iExactly I have ASPD it's a personality disorder, A social Just means you dislike people and avoid them, completely different things.
If you have been effected by someone who is antisocial and they seek treatment, even if they get better you are already traumatized and most likely will be triggered by them anyway. If they get better fine, they can move forward with other people.
No in my case they should not move on with other people. I am an implant victim and these people need to be stopped.
Nice
They do not get better.
What I was trying to say is, even if they "get better" they already damaged you so no matter what they do its too late.
Love these videos.
YES u said it they no right frm wrong 😡..impluse.. black out anger..no remorse..pshopath
They learn the empathetic behavior but they do not actually feel it…
Ill take some pretense over no change at all
Cognitive Empathy
Yeah your right I say I love people but don't mean it I can fake it really good but I hate what I've become I go to therapy and psycologist every two weeks
That example of the difference between assertive and aggressive, other than the use of the word "idiot", isn't all that aggressive. Especially when dealing with someone who possibly has ASPD. Removing yourself from the relationship is wise and assertive.
God we live in a mad world.
Dr. Phil, PLEASE talk about avoidant personality disorder
I never knew the word "con" rooted from the word "confident". Interesting. A lot of good information, thank you.
Very interesting material here. I find that narcissists are this way as well...so low on empathy, yet when something happens to them? Oh Lord the end of the world i near...and no situation is like theirs🙄...
It is my understanding that a psychopath is born and that they don't fall under personality disorders, but are born without a conscience, while an ASPD is made like its fellow Cluster B personalities. My struggle is though that whether a malicious person is born that way or made that way, I sometimes feel bad for them. I believe you when you say they know right from wrong, yet isn't that still some kind of illness that is taking hold over them? It is painful in some situations to watch a loved one be that way, knowing nothing will change, but still unable to stay around for them given their abusive nature. I guess what I am trying to say is, would it be equally harsh to abandon them especially when you care for their well-being? Oh my god, it is exhausting.
Psychopathy is an outdated term and in the medical literature the only condition that is actually recognized and diagnosed by clinicians is ASPD. Because ASPD consists of the traits we would assign to psychopathy, if that makes sense.
APD people are not malicious. They are self-interested. They are after material gain.
Irresistable impulse vs impulse not resissted. Antisocial personality disorder know the difference they just don't care.
How about "borderline personality disorder" due to childhood trauma?? I try to control my impulses & have had to live with myself for 65 years!!! 🍁🇨🇦❤️🌹
ever looked into meditation.
Biggest thing to help. Think about your blessing when your upset. Like yeah, this situation sucks and I want to rampage, but even though the situation sucks, I think about the good. Like how I have amazing children, amazing friends, I have a great job and roof over my head that I earned. So yeah, maybe I failed at something, but I won in so many others.
Is there a difference between narcissism and antisocial ? Also why does there seem to be a lot of these toxic personalities disorders around now.
There is a difference between the 2. My view: keep watching YT videos on these character disturbances, there are 1000's of videos. Since human kind has been walking this planet toxic people are aplenty.
“Total Depravity” as described in Calvinism is the answer to your question about why there’s so many of these types out there today. The culture loosing it’s moral norms has allowed these people to drop their masks and still feel acceptance. But they have always been in mass abundance in every culture in all of world history.
Frottage is the general term for the act of rubbing any part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs and sexual organs against the sexual organ of another person; this is done whether naked or clothed and is more commonly known as dry humping or dry sex.[20] When frottage includes genital-genital rubbing, it is sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing.[20]
Dr. Phil have you completed a discussion regarding the comorbidity of narcissistic personality disorder antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder can these exist simultaneously?
My ex definitely got worse with therapy. It was a line that was crossed where he changed permanently for the worse and much more manipulate. I suppose he figured why fake it anymore, just be as devious as possible since the mask dropped.
Yes we do live in a mad world
Where can i find info on avoidance personality disorder please ? ☘
Dr phill what is your take on bi polar one and 2.?
Another problem with psychologists is that they know all the right things to say, at least here on youtube but they do not really practice what they preach and I also found out some have pretty difficult diagnoses themselves and they lack empathy, and some show signs of grandiose narcissism at least but it always goes deeper than that. So I do wonder how is this possible because they are so vindictive that if a patient goes to them they will give them probably a diagnosis just for the heck of it. I also was on channels with trolls that attacked me when I commented like i do now, and they even have their own flying monkeys, and sometimes I did not even insult anyone but simply gave an opinion they misunderstood and I got attacked. Plus youtube has removed with its culture any right to have an opinion rewarding sociopathic narcissistic behavior. Now if society targets narcissists, who are the targeters and the stalkers? Personally, I am far from a narcissist and targeted, but somehow I thought at one point that I was just because I was defending myself from attacks from others, I felt it must be something wrong with me. But the point is that those that target, are at least as bad or worse than those targeted when there is a reason to target. There shouldn't be cause it is a crime against humanity
Psychology also needs more exact methods of knowing who is psychopath and who is untreatable so to speak. scan people¨s brains, create accurate emotional tests, and you do not have to worry people are one way but they are trying to manipulate you because once you set your mind someone is one way, you only see things subjectively. A machine can help you see if someone has an atrophy in their brain, if they do not have the limbic system very well developed. all other classification is otherwise mostly arbitrary.
WOW wow well said u did ur home work
@@antoinqueen8261 I read a couple of books on psychopathy, including "the psychopath whisperer" by Kent Kiehl. NO homework, just interested in the subject. I have met more than my share of cruel people and finding out they also rule us, did explain a lot.
I have antisocial personality disorder
These people need to be locked up and throw the key away
If an employee would tell me that ''dog'' story... I would NOT have empathy.... because I would beleive he is lying. ... 🐕🐶
What happened to a person to develop this personality or is it just genetic? I know someone from birth and such a sweet child after college and marrying a dominant narcist and this person turned into, I think as you have described as a antisocial personality. I am 5 years older.
I think they're born that way, it's widely debated, that is just my opinion I am no psychologist.
childhood trauma creates either a codependent or a narcissist. the bad bad end of the npd spectrum is aspd, ie sociopath and psychopath. they say psychopaths are born that way too.
The only way is to convince them of the benefits to them..
The problem is with empathetic behavior that it is also cultural norms that can model behavior, and some people learn the social norms in their particular environment too well and they do not deviate, because they think that is what normal is. But they will let their guard down and adapt again to other norms when they hear that another way to behave that is more empathetic and maybe even more in line with their natural disposition is normal and not some form of adaptation to a narcissistic environment where feelings are mocked when your husband or father tells you "what do you cry for? you should be a bit more manipulative and not such an idiot that anybody can play with." That is what psychological models usually do not think of. People grow up in families with certain norms. Countries have norms. In Sweden, you are not supposed to LOVE anything, but you are maybe supposed to LIKE them. You become very weird if you LOVE. Tell them you love your teacher. They think you are enamored with him. You have to say you like your teacher and be as specific as possible. Many social norms like this idea that you can punish learned bad behavior or bad genetics is also in my mind, a narcissistic and psychopathic norm that societies, ruled by this kind of people adopt. What good does it do? You should jail people if they are dangerous if they kill and torture, and get rid of the world's wars immediately.
😇
What about trauma?
EDUCATE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EDUCATE OTHERS
But they will put it in their tool box
So they know then when they’re lying?
Yes
So wtf do i do with this information as a person with ASPD??? Am i just a horrible person and there's no hope for me to ever be better? Should i just lock myself up in my house and give up on ever being able to share my life with someone? This was the worst video i could have ever watched. Im on here looking for help and hope and apparently im just fked
Please keep talk more about this disorder. Pretty sure I made the mistake of marrying someone with it. I love him so much, but I have stopped feeling safe around him because of his anger and other covert, underhanded things he has done to me. If that is not the end of a relationship, I don't know what is. He, however, thinks I should just turn the other cheek so we can move on, without addressing his abuse - which he, by the way, refuses to even acknowledge as having been abuse. :(
I wish the best for you moving on from your situation. You got this, you are strong and know what you have to do.
@@Ladeda27 Thank you. This has truly been a ride, a really bad one. I can't even mention that he has anger problems without him becoming even more angry. How he fails to see the hypocrisy is beyond me, but it is so sad because I wanted to spend my life with him. I kept hoping things would get better over time, but they don't. I can't move past fear, however, if he keeps feeding it so heavily. I am just broken by this, and once we part my life will be even harder because he cost me and my family both assets and dreams, so I will leave with nothing - and break even more. The price of love has been high for me. I never want another relationship. :(
@@sablebrown4139 it’s not a failure to see, he sees and knows what he’s doing. It’s a refusal to admit. They can never admit they are wrong in anything, including the way they treat you. Their mentality is you deserve to be treated they way they treated you Bc you didn’t give in to what they want. They are angry hateful abusive children in a grown ups body.
@@Ladeda27 I agree with everything you wrote. I, too, believe he fully knows what he has done. He was yelling at me last night that I refused to forgive him. I said no, I can forgive you, but I want to know what for. See, he keeps saying he can't apologize anymore, but he hasn't done it the first time, or if he did, it was so brief I didn't catch it. I told him, you say you apologized - WHAT did you apologize for? Another RUclipsr said to make them be specific, that you may be able to work with that somehow, but vague apologies are worthless. Specific ones . . . well, only worth a tiny bit more, but still. Anyway, I thought that making the apologies be specific was a good idea, so held to that. Result? Anger . . . building and building to the point I walked outside to get away before he boiled over totally (as he had only 30 minutes earlier, for the entire neighborhood to hear!). He did NOT want to say what he was sorry for, and likely because he was not sorry.
So, yeah, totally agree with the angry, hateful, abusive children in grown up bodies statement you made. I do have to also add 'wounded,' and that's where I get stuck. Big ugly blow out and drama from him last night for NO sane reason, then today he calls wanting to help me, and in a broken voice when I refuse, "I don't want to lose you." That part of him I want to hug the hurt away from, but the monster is just under the surface, grinning at regaining power if I cave, so I have to know that while I soothe the child, I feed the monster who will take back over at first sign of me not being completely submissive or obedient, and then I will be called names, insulted, demeaned, menaced, and raged at all over again - and he'll deny any of it or say it is all my fault. So, sooooooooo over it! Argh.
If you think you are being abused and it feels like abuse, then it is abuse.
You don't need to make up excuses for your husband's bad behavior.
You claim that you think you might be abused, but love your husband so much. That is like saying I love the family dog even though he repeatedly mauls my hand every time I pet him. Try not to stY in an abusive relationship. You deserve better.
My older relative took me to Big Bear mountain, got out for five minutes, then he speeded down Big Bear I was yelling to stop the car, cars pulled over so we could pass. He said shut up or get out and walk. We got down at the bottom of the mountain then he said the brakes went out and he didn't want to scare me, and then he got on the freeway and speed 100 miles an hour home. I looked at the speedometer, "The breaks never went out" I was so scared. When he was older he allways went in and out of jail. He was kicked out of school.
Well I sure needed to have that explained to me....My son had a really bad accident at 17 yrs old...he flatlined 3 times from the ambulance and in hospital..his heart and lungs had been crushed...he came home but doctor had not prescribed any medication and I was so nervous I forgot to ask...the hospital he had gone to was a 3 hrs ride...I would hear him cry in pain...he had a friend..I believe that friend brought him some drugs to help his pain...but my son was never the same after...he's a great worker...but in 2011 he called me from his place of work..totally paranoid...he was seeing all kinds of things so we travelled to go get him..brought him straight to the hospital....doctor talked with him and I found out things I had to get out of the room....he stayed at the hospital to be seen by a " shrink" which he gave him something to calm him..he stayed with us..but one night..he went to a bar..which we had told him this we would not accept...came home and by his tone when he spoke to me...I could feel the anger...so I went to see him and he said I had called the police because there were police around...I said no..of course not..but then I told him to get his voice down..or get out...he grabbed me..said Mom.. and lifted me..banged me against the wall 3 times...I was knocked out completely...when I came to..I was so dizzy that I went outside by the back and ended up at a neighbors house...cops came to come get him and take him out of the house...I did write a report but asked the police to take him for treatments since he had been throu so much...but I heard he was diagnose to be Anti social disorder...since he's a man ..as his mother I wasn't allowed that information....we text I love my boy..but we don't interact ...
Wow...so sorry. This must be painful. God bless you.
No they cant get better
Sounds like Anti-society more than Anti Social
Jesus Christ can change anyone. Jesus is their only hope. Have y'all ever seen someone that's been changed because of Jesus? Their whole face changes. They are now a shining light with a beautiful smile. It is truly amazing. :))
Jesus has no power to change anyone.
Only YOU can change YOU.
@@mikeq5807 Beautifully articulated!
@@mikeq5807 Right. And if Jesus truly cared, the person wouldn't be a monster in the first place.
I can appreciate your faith but it says in Roman's 1:28, 29
about the type of people that refuses to change and that God will not continue any longer to try and change that type of person. God gives them over to a "reprobate mind"
In other words, some people will never change because they themselves, chose not to change. Unfortunately some people really dont want to change at all and not even God can make them change.
@@mikeq5807
GOD gave us the freedom of choice. Without Jesus u won't change.
Is Trump listening....
Nah. Folks who are truly dysfunctional will never think they are the ones being talked to. Like, "Who, me? They're not talking to me."
Trump wants what's best for the Amer people & our country, unlike Bozo whose main goal is to DESTROY it. Trump CARES abt people & would never leave Americans or our $85 billion in weaponry behind in Afghan. He is a true leader that cares with proven accomplishmt's. Promises Made, Promises Kept. The toxic person u need to worry abt is Bozo & his radical admin.
But….yes everything is possible
But…..few are Impossible and this is one of them. So it’s Impossible.
🇺🇸
Ok I don't like how Dr. Phil explains it at 5:00 no offense. Because the person he's describing is still asking a couple questions before saying "Huh". The people I've encountered wouldn't ask any questions at all..
I’d love to speak with you one on one.
That sounds like x husband he has dice on ankle for con man he is very militative and when he doesn't get what he wants he makes it misrible for the other person or persons he was diagnosed with bipolar but I believe something more he said he had clowns in his head a good and bad he Drew them for me he belittle me he would put his hands around my neck and say he could kill me right then or a knife he would say he had gone into homes and just stooded in bedroom looking at the person sleeping and said he could kill them but he left there a lot more but some of what he done to me been away from him since 1997
Dexter Morgan.
Lost him like half way through he was talking kinda fast though
He burned down the christmas tree wearin a wig.Tamanaha was tellin the truth.It's racist.