I’m a skin picker. I’m so stressed and woke up and told myself, “my skin looks pretty good today!” Now, I’ll be going to bed so ashamed of myself for giving into the picking. Im afraid what it’s going to look like in the morning… 😔
yes omg, and i feel so guilty because i know its making my skin worse, but i cant stop. Im about to go to sleep and i have so many spots that i picked at and now its worse than before.
Yes, skin picker... perfectionist, neat, and anxious about how I look. I love cleanliness, so in my mind, it feels like I am removing the dirt when I skin pick. I do it subconsciously. When I am done, I regret it. I go to bed with gloves on sometimes. My face looks worse because of the picking but most of the time I don't learn. It's even happening on my upper back, chest and shoulders because I can reach these areas. I've tried a lot of methods to trick me out of the behaviour but it is hard. It's like I want something to clean or fix. Even if my skin clears up I end up looking desperately for something to pick because I want to fix it even more, even if I know the picking didn't fix it.
Same, although Accutane cleared up my acne (and I've managed to stop picking my face and back) I still feel the need to pick so I re-opened the scars on my shoulders. Now I've also started picking on my butt cheeks, so not going to wear a swimsuit anytime soon... It just feels like a compulsion to make the skin smooth and if it's a bump it needs to be emptied 😬
Omg I'm the same. The look on my shoulder is so embarrassing, I never wear sleeveless tops because of it. It is always covered up. And my legs... I wear knee high socks to cover the unsightly scars and pigmentation.
I had this to, specially in my arms where i have keratosis pilaris and end up picking. I started to wear long sleeves more often (some fabrics are light and thin, can be worn even in summer). Another idea is to try to keep your hands ocupied with something, working with smth, artistic or not. If you're about to skin pick, you can also try rush to put on a facial. Also another thing i noticed, when i did gel nails for a while, i could not skin pick anymore, as it hurted the nail beds everytime i went to do it. Also the nails were a bit more thick then my usual nail so i ended up not being able to pimp anything out. It made me stressed for a while until i realised it was good to control my skin picking. Anyhow, hope something helps 🙏 best of luck
omg I’m crying - I do the same. When I am controlled I just do it on my scalp or hands. But lately I pick so much that my whole back and part of my arms are affected so I have to use shirts with sleeves and clothes that can hide blood from the scabs 😢
I have SEVERE skin picking issues. My whole body hurts and is full of scars like it's not normal anymore. I feel like i have no control over myself and it is really affecting my life. But this video really helped me, i did not skin pick for the last 4 days. I know this does not sound like much for some people, but for me this is a big achievment
It’s actually NOT easy to stop! Whenever I’m stressed… that’s how I deal! I don’t over eat… I got to the bathroom(for hours), and damage myself. I sit in the mirror and tell myself I’m loved, I’m a wife, mom, friend, and beautiful woman. And, still even if I don’t have a pimple I find a way to “damage” myself and wake with a bunch of red marks the next morning… depressed and broken. I never know why I do it tho. Stress… tiredness. Overwhelmed?!
Have you seen a psychologist or psychiatrist because it seems to me you require specialist help. I am seeing a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist after being diagnosed with personality and mood disorders. It has affected my ability to work hence I'm in therapy.
Your blackheads and whiteheads will naturally come up to the surface. When they do wash your face and don’t put moisturizer to fry them out. Then you can pick them gently and they fall off. I used to do the same. I remember my friend saying it looked like I got attacked by bees prematurely squeezing and using tweezers to beat the development of blackheads. Remember nobody is looking that closely at your face.
I've struggled with excoriation disorder for 13 years--half my life. Acne exacerbated my skin picking to such an extreme that I couldn't date, visit friends, or even attend school. For me, this disorder was debilitating and stole much of my youth. Cognitive behavioral therapy and SSRIs helped reduce the urge to pick. I still relapse occasionally, but I feel (and look) healthy now.
That's so sad 😔, before the video, i didnt even know that this was a disorder to this point. Glad you're better now, just keep appreciate yourself, dont give up, ever, and keep focusing on positivity even the smallests things in life (like the inventor of the hair brush...... dont know who this guy is, but im so happy he existed!... Are you not??) 😌❤
Ive literally done it for as long as i remember and have always felt alone. Sometimes have spent hours before bed doing this. Sending love to all those who understand
It’s so comforting to see a video like this and to have everyone commenting their own experiences and realise this is a more common thing than most people realise. I’ve been plagued with this condition since I was a child and it has been the bain of my existence for over 10 years. I specifically remember when it started. I was 10 or 11 years old and I was going to a football match with lots of my family and friends. But I had this big pimple on my chin. Being a literal child at the time it didn’t bother me but my mum said it looked ugly and insisted on popping it for me and then covered up the redness with concealer. I think from that moment I was subconsciously taught that that’s what you do when you get pimples, you pop them. I don’t blame my mum for it but she accidentally triggered a condition in me that would plague me into my adult years. As I became a teenager and got more and more spotty I picked my face to death. I specifically remember being in a hotel one night sitting on the bathroom counter with my face millimetres from the mirror and picking my face until 4am!!!! I’d picked my face solid for about 6 hours and picked so bad I was digging into nothing but pure flesh and I had blood dripping down my face. It’s really damaged me emotionally. I also remember when I was… I don’t know maybe 15 or 16 coming to my parents and asking to see a therapist for the issue I had with picking my skin. My mum told me I was being ridiculous… my dad thankfully sat me down and had a long talk with me and tried to help me but talked me out of therapy. I’m now 26 years old and to this day I am still suffering with skin picking. I amazingly don’t have any bad permanent damage I don’t think from all the years of picking. I don’t have any bad scars or pitted skin. I adore skincare and I can tell my skin is in really good shape if I could just quit picking… I’m nowhere near as bad as I used to be but I still fall off the wagon on the regular… I’ll be able to go a few days without picking then sometimes the mirror just gets me and there I am an hour later with a red face. I’m really trying to stop because I’m sick of being an adult who has so much potential for good skin if she could just stop picking every tiny white head and squeezing every single sebaceous filament out of her face!! I’ve realised my biggest trigger is the light we have right above the mirror in our bathroom. Because it’s directly above the mirror the angle of the light shining down on my skin I’ve found out can show up shit that isn’t even really there! It really shows up everything on my skin and just isn’t flattering. So I’ve learned now when I’m going to do my skincare and I need the light on I turn off the mirror light and put on the main bathroom light which is on the ceiling behind me when I’m at the mirror. This provides nice even lighting that doesn’t show up all the nonexistent bad stuff on my face and it’s been helping. I also need to try to catch myself when I’m looking in the mirror. I’ll often lean right over the bathroom sink or right up to the mirror in my bedroom and start analysing my skin and I realise I’m literally looking for something to pick! Sometimes I manage to be aware of it and snap myself out of it but sometimes I still slip up. It’s such a difficult addiction and habit to break out of but I’m trying! I’m sick of wasting hours in the mirror and the shame the next day when I have to wake up and be afraid to see my reflection to see how much damage I did the night before. It’s just not worth it. This video is right we end up missing out on life because of this. I’ve distinctly cancelled plans and said no to things because I felt like I looked too bad to be seen. Hopefully one day we’ll all get the skin we want ❤️
I really relate to your story. My picking started the same way actually and I too had issues with bathroom lighting that made me pick incessantly. I do have some pitted scaring from when I was a child and didn’t know better, but I’ve learned to accept that and I do think it’s probably treatable. I now started seeing a derm and we will address the scaring once the acne is controlled. I’ve gotten so much better about picking and try to keep myself from ever getting too close to the mirror. I try to remind myself that literally no one is looking at me THAT closely lol.
Omg I felt it so deeply when you described waking up the next day and checking the reflection to see how bad it was! I do this too 😢 sucks to have this. Just a few days ago I picked really badly at one specific spot and I was so relieved the next day because the redness was not as bad as I thought it would be! Thanks for sharing this, I really feel normalized in this comment section and I’m so glad to have similar people here ❤
You are so powerful for sharing this. I can relate to the point with parents a lot. Popping also has been a norm always, so I thought that’s the only way you can handle skin imperfections. And then when I would have scars from popping a d picking pimples, my parents would comment “look what you did to yourself” as if I could stop that easily… I feel better now luckily. But still lapsing sometimes
You're doing great but being really aware, sharing this, and doing some things to stop. I think eventually you will get better at stopping... something that has to trigger you to say enough is enough. I hope you get there. I did. I think this video helped me realise I had a problem. I took steps to stop.
I was actually getting emotional watching this video. I skin pick and had no idea it was even considered a disorder. I have adhd and have been skin picking since my acne started to flare up (probably due to stress/hormones) and to hear that so many other people go through this makes me feel a lot less ashamed about it. Finally scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist after a year of trying it on my own, so I’m excited to be able to add this to the conversation!
i felt like i had to take deep breaths a squint my eyes like i was in pain. I hate skin picking. I literally just went in the bathroom and pulled off scabs on my face and now I look horrible.
damn i came here wanting to leave a comment about dermatillomania/excoriation disorder and am pleasantly surprised to see that this video is about it... thank you for raising awareness. people really don't understand that it's a serious issue (and a newly discovered one, apparently). it has ties to ocd so it's like seriously impossible to stop without help
Gosh, I’ve dealt with skin picking since I was like 12, so I’m going on 10 years with dermatillomania now. It can be so exhausting just trying to get through my daily routine without completely destroying parts of my skin. I’m almost completely recovered when it comes to my facial picking habits, but my shoulders/arms just seem to be the area(s) I continue to struggle with regardless of how much I try not to pick. I seriously feel for everyone that deals/has dealt with this issue, as I know how tiring it can truly be, but remember to be kind to yourself in life’s trying moments, and know that you’re not alone 💗
I can't express enough how relieved I am to see I'm not the only one going through this. I don't remember when or how it started, I've just always picked at my skin and its ruined so many opportunities for me. For example, I've cancelled plans on friends and missed days out because I was too ashamed and embarrassed to go out with how my skin looked, I didn't attend School, College, University and sometimes called in sick to work because I couldn't cover it with makeup or just had no motivation to even try because I knew you would still be able to see it. I say to my friends, family, even my boyfriend that I have spot prone skin, but realistically I know (and they know) I'm the problem. Whenever I feel any little bump under my skin, I pick at it trying to prevent breakouts, but won't stop until its bleeding to make sure theres nothing left underneath. Once I've felt that bump, in my head I can't stop thinking about it until I've picked at it. Its now become a morning and nighttime routine where I just examine every inch of my skin, thinking I'm helping to clear out my pores, then when I take a step back and look at my face overall, I see how much damage I've done and instantly regret it/feel guilty, telling myself "Im never picking again!'. If my boyfriend got paid every time I've said that, I'm not joking when I say he'd be a BILLIONAIRE.. I definitely notice I pick more when I'm stressed or just bored. This morning I woke up and was so excited how clear my skin was, I'm now writing this after an episode which I spent 2 hours in the bathroom picking as I'm stressed about not having clear skin for my holiday. I feel like no matter how much progress I make, I always go back to picking. I know for a fact I'm going to do it again, but I just don't know how to stop myself anymore. I try to distract myself and refuse to look in the bathroom mirror, specifically in the morning or in the evening after a shower as my aim is to quickly wash my face and put skincare on to stop temptation. But sometimes I do it subconsciously, not even realising I'm doing it until its too late. Trying to explain this to anyone who doesn't pick is impossible as they truly don't understand mentally how hard it is to just stop. Starting off with OCD and always being a perfectionist has now made me obsessed with my skin. It really is a vicious cycle. Picking leads to stress, stress leads to more breakouts, more breakouts lead to more picking, more picking leads to stress. Im over feeling depressed and self conscious about my skin, picking is so time consuming and emotionally draining. Its definitely taken over my life !
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one! I started picking at age 7 after a stressful event. I went to several derms who didn’t know what to do with a 7 yr old with acne. I progressed to nail biting, picking cuticles etc at one point in my 20s I’d always have to hide my bleeding hands at work. I’ve always felt ashamed by it. During lockdown I tried wearing gloves at work as I tend to do it more when stressed and that seemed to help break the cycle for a bit. But it comes back. I struggle with stress I think I have some other conditions that contribute to this. It makes complete sense that this condition is approached from both the physical and mental side. Thanks for sharing!
I'm 60 too. I didn't know it was a disorder until several years ago! I've picked my face ,(cystic acne) . That's gone...the acne that is. Now I have Ehlers-Danlos and skin is very fragile and takes twice as long to heal. Eczema on hairline. It does relax me. I can pick and mess with my face, cuticles (very dry) on hands and toes . Heels. ...for hours!
ADHD here. BFRB (body focused repetitive behaviors) are a HUGE form of stimming for me! And my issues with skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting were all exacerbated by several dermatological conditions (chronic yeast infections, recurring folliculitis, and the effect of low estrogen on my hair/skin/nail texture and health). It’s a bummer because there just aren’t psychoderms (or any BFRB specialists) in my area. ☹️☹️☹️
Same, I have ADHD, and I have dermatillomania. I also bite my nails, and I have white lines on my nails at 20 years old from biting my nails since I was 8 years old. I pick my skin or bite my nails when I am emotionally low, or when I am bored/need to stim.
I started picking after my daughter was born, ie post partum depression. I remember the first clogged pore that I popped. The release feeling and sound made me feel better. But now after 9 years, I am finally admitting I have this condition, stemming from depression and anxiety. I am owning this and actively trying to resolve my situation. Thank you Cassandra! It t was because of you and the first video I watched, where I bawled my eyes out for days after, that I realized what it was and it's negative impact on my life.
Yeah, she tried to be light and breezy about it but you can see this is a subject that deeply impacts Cassandra emotionally. Thanks for being brave and bringing us an expert to talk about this so we understand it more. 💕
The first time I went to a dermatologist for my skin, I told her immediately that I had dermatillomania. She didn’t listen to me, she just took one look at my face and said yeah you have severe cystic acne, we’ll give you some benzoyl peroxide. She didn’t seem to understand that I did NOT have cystic acne at all. Everything on my face was self inflicted. What good would bp do when cystic acne wasn’t my problem? At most I had very mild acne. The rest were just wounds. She told me I’d have “cystic acne” probably for the rest of my life bc it was very hard to treat. I left the office crying and feeling unheard and invalidated. I never saw another derm after that :( I wanna thank you for making a video about this, spreading awareness about the condition is so important as is removing the stigma ❤️
This helps me so much. I’ve been picking my skin for years, but I never considered it may be a psychological disorder. I see my friends with perfect skin and I think whenever I see a spot, I need to attack it. I never felt comfortable going to a regular derm for fear of judgment, and they’d simply tell me to “stop picking”. To know that there is a specific specialist that can help with this problem is almost comforting and a relief for me. Thank you for sharing!
I told my mom about this today and I told her that I do this... I am so glad I am not alone, because people make me feel as if there's something wrong with me 💔 even somwtimes wanting to hit me to stop...
No one should hit you to get you to do anything. You are definitely not alone in your issues with picking. Good luck and love yourself no matter what. Pimples are not a character flaw!
Wow! It's like the doctor knows me. I have anxiety, I've always washed my hands more often than necessary and very possibly ADHD and I've struggled with picking for a very long time. I haven't been able to find a way to quit. I have been able to do it less often by keeping my hands busy whether I'm working, playing games on my phone or something.
Thank you very much for this video. I have been struggling with skin picking on my fingers and cuticles since I was six (I'm 30 now). I could never stop it: I saw a psychologist who only made it worse, getting my nails done at a salon would always end up in shaming, and once I tries to just 'restrain' myself and it literally drove me insane so I had to get professional help. Sending love and wishing strenght to all my fellow dermatillomaniacs.
Omg I have been waiting for you to talk about this for soo long ,this is a really big struggle for me I started when I was 12 and now at 18 I do it unconsciously no matter how many times I promise myself I'd stop ,it's really hard to stop and gets worse during exam season i keep picking while studying and just end up with so much damage.
Anxiety is a HUGE contributor. I started picking to relieve my stress after I had my kid. I began having issues with anxiety and hormonal acne and that combo lead me to pick every little bump on my face. I squeeze every pore and actually enjoy seeing the sebaceous filaments come out, it gives me a dopamine release. I also have ADHD. This has lead to major skin problems I've never had before. I think hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy and "tapping" really helped. I catch myself much quicker now and convince myself to walk away. I tell myself I'm only going to look in the mirror no closer than 30" away. I've gotten much better recently.
I had a pretty severe phase of skin picking and it was because of the domestic abuse I went through as a child. It just relaxed me and I also re-opened scabs a lot and kept small open wounds on the back of my head to have a way of instantly experiencing the relief of self-harm without anyone noticing. Especially throughout the day with minor stressors at school etc it was so nice to have that. After I moved out of my parents house and started my own life it got a lot better. I still pop a pimple every now and then but I don’t „destroy“ my face / neck / shoulders etc.
@@jenniferstorm5070 Thank you for taking the time to read it. It is better now but back then I knew it was an addiction because I couldn’t stop myself. I hope people will be honest with themselves and seek professional help. Not just for the skin picking but the underlying issues.
@@Ninitschga Yes, exactly. A great way is to reach out and educate, as Cassandra does with this video with Dr Ahmed as a guest. I hope this topic becomes more widely known. Love to you!
Thank you for talking about this. Started when I was 13 and had my first zit. I knew not to touch it because it could scar or get worse. Family was visiting and my mother insisted that I pop it because she was embarrassed of my skin. She also gave me the brilliant advise at the same age, "If you've got it, flaunt it", in regards to encouraging me to "dress sexy". She basically impressed upon me that if I wasn't "hot" no one would like me. As I am 38 now, I see that she passed her own issues onto me at that age. She was the insecure one who felt competitive toward me and my sister, so she had to take us down a notch and pass her dysfunction onto us. She is no longer a welcome part of my life because she hasn't changed or grown. I still struggle very much with my skin and it gets worse when I feel stressed, inadequate, or insecure. Its obsessive and I know I'd have good skin if I just wore oven mitts!! I never knew this was a thing!
I’ve been embarrassed by my parents who exposed my picking to my neurologist when it first started instead of taking me to a therapist. It made it worse. I was able to stop for a few months, but I was never able to stop again. That was in junior year of high school, I’m 24 now and I’ve only made minimal progress because I’m too embarrassed to go get help after what my parents did. I started accutane and was able to stop picking my face, which was a bad spot for me, but now I’m trying really hard to stop picking my arms and legs. I can’t wear shorts or short sleeves and haven’t for years now and it really makes me upset because I feel weird and gross. It really helps to see these videos and know I’m not alone and that there’s help and I can keep making progress. Thank you 💜
Wow! This is me! It's so frustrating. I just want a bump/pimple to go away. Nothing but softness under my probing fingers makes me feel good. I've been seeing a Derm (yes it IS a hormonal acne at 48) but the picking IS a vicious cycle and my own Derm touched upon it. When I leave my skin alone (very difficult) I notice how much better it looks. For something helpful, I've been using Mighty Patch to put over areas that I should leave alone (you should see the silicone patches all over my face...lol!), but it does help. There may be other ones out there that are cheaper but they are great if you are staying home in the day or put them on before you go to bed. For me, I love to read but often I will feel my hand reach up and start feeling for bumps...any bump! I really don't have serious scars on my face but from years ago I have scars on my back that have faded enough where I feel okay wearing something that shows off my back. Thank you so much Cassandra for this platform! I wish there was something like this in the 1980's.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. I struggle with skin picking and when it was at it's worst I was also pulling out my hair. I was told it's a compulsive condition called tricotillamania (probably spelled it wrong). I have bipolar disorder and self medicated for years w drugs and alcohol. During active addiction my self care was practically non existent. I don't have acne prone skin BUT would often breakout as my body was detoxing from drugs n alcohol. I would pick so deep I always thought the little hair follicles on my face were puss that wouldn't come out n I'd go at it a safety pins, tweezers, comidone remover...it was so bad. I'd pick the scabs so my make up/cover up wouldn't emphasize them. I still go thru picking bouts during time of stress. I didn't always focus on my face. Sometimes it was my hands, nails, arms thighs. I've got scars galore on my breasts and declate as well. It's okay though because my scars are just part of my story. Thank you for letting me share.
I am a life long skin picker and currently trying to stop the behavior. My skin picking is stress induced for sure as I seem to just start doing it when I am under stress which is often. It is hard to stop and I find that I do it without even realizing I’m doing it. I try to hide it from people including my spouse, but she is aware I am picking my skin and tries to get me to stop. Glad to have found this video !
I have tried so many times to stop. It usually lasts maybe a week before I'm back to picking. And people don't get how hard it is to resist. The more i try not to pick, the more i think about it. Resisting makes me feel tense and the urge to pick becomes a physical sensation, sort of like an itch. And it's just so much easier to give in and pick, but then I'm bleeding again.
I have this! I also have some symptoms of higher cortisol. Sleep issues, weight gain and very difficult to lose it, acne, and some joint pain. Ok so know I need to figure out how to get help. This started when my husband deployed. I thought I had a good handle on it. Ugh he has been home for 2 years but this hasn't stopped. PTSD? Crazy as it sounds I think so. Thank you so much for this post. I have been going crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I know I have to get the cortisol level down and deal with my deep emotions.
Just come across this video - YES!! So awesome, it’s so great to see this information out there. I started skin picking during high school and 10 years later I still fall back on it the moment I’m stressed 😕
I've done nail biting since I was a kid and it is, indeed, a vicious cycle... between my parents telling me not to do it and my hands looking horrible, it has been really stressful for me 😢My only escape from stress and anxiety are my hands and everytime I see some healing skin or else, I ripped it off bc boredom or stress. You can imagine my college years, tragic. Thank you so much, Cassandra for this video 💖 these disorders are not very talked about and now I know that there is a specialization that can treat them.
Oh I know exactly what you mean, I'm always picking at the scabs on my back and shoulders during lectures. Started doing it in bed too during that pre-sleep anxiety phase 😭
Cassandra!! I needed this video 😢 I’ve been very seriously considering therapy for skin picking, it makes me late for work, miss out on time spent with loved ones, and totally undoing all of the hard work I’m doing with my skin. 💔
I’m a skin picker and my face been covered in dark spots since I was 11, I really want to stop and I want clear skin for the first time in my adult life
I don't suffer this issue, I have other skin tribulations but not this. I really liked this though. And was immensely happy to have this brought to the public. Thank you 😊
Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t see this video before! I have dermatillomania since I was 14. I’m currently 28. I’ve been in therapy for almost 10 years, and it’s a lot better but I still engage almost every day. It’s a lot better, and I pick just a little, but when I’m overly stressed I do cause quite a lot of damage. Thanks for making a video on this topic! I love your channel ❤
Thank you so much Cassandra. If you want to talk to some of us who have been struggling with this, I'm sure we would like to help. I have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for two years to get better. It can become so very extreme and crippling. I just want to express such deep gratitude. Thank you.
I am so so happy this is a field of medicine. When I started my mental health journey, I told my Dr and my therapist about my skin picking, and they both told me I probably wouldn't be able to stop. However, once getting on the right medications, got the proper diagnoses, and actually started finding rhe proper products for my skin, it all has helped so mucu
Not a skin-picker or acne-sufferer myself but I do know people who fit this profile! I don’t think any of us has heard of paychodermatology before 🤔 Thank you for spreading this important information that hopefully creates realization in people and gives them new hope for an actual treatment! ❤️
Yep, I was diagnosed with this last year. I’m 20 years old, and I didn’t know before that it was an actual thing. I have always done this, but didn’t realize it before. Mine worsened after I accidentally hit my head on a wall and my scalp scabbed up. I was fascinated by the scabs and picking them was satisfying. My first symptoms were nail biting and picking my skin on my feet. I was in time out a lot as a kid because I would act out (undiagnosed ADHD), and picking my feet kept me quiet and was soothing during when I was in time out. I’ve picked my lips, feet, wrist, arms, legs, etc. I have also pulled out some eyelashes, arm hairs, and some eyebrow hairs.
I can not put into words how much this video will change my life. Always going to a dermatologist getting prescribed creams that temporarily work. When I'm the only making it worse. Thank you will be booking appt
I also have ADHD and have dermatillomania, I was diagnosed with dermatillomania last year. I skin pick all the time, often very few hours, or every hour. I can’t stop picking.
I’m really grateful for this video. I’ve always known that my skin picking was a neurological satisfaction - I just find satisfaction in the release of the gunk. What started to make me think more deeply about my acne was recognizing I have “acne” only on my upper back and chest but not on my face as I’m very careful to not pick my face. I’m grateful for the tip to remove the urge to pick because I know that’s my biggest obstacle and something I have been trying to find ways to stop or channel into another avenue. Thank you!
I didn't know so many other people dealt with this!!! 😭 I've been picking at cuts, scabs, bumps, pimples, or even just pigmentation I was literally born with since I was 4... I used to use a metal loop thing for popping zits my mom bought me as a younger teen, but after I noticed I had literally bent it I realized I had to get rid of it! I've gotten better with it, I used to do it for maybe an hour sometimes, but now I only do it out of boredom for 10 mins. Keeping up with trimming my nails has helped, if they're too short to scratch my face with then the most I can do is press on it. If you're struggling with this too, try cutting your nails as short as comfortably possible! (This also got rid of my habit of peeling the tips of my nails, they were always so uneven before) it almost made me cry when I heard her say it's okay to do it safely, I've never heard anyone tell me that before, and it relieved a lot of the shame I have around it 😭 this is one of the many reasons it's so important to destigmatize things like this, because it helps people suffering talk about it, and makes it easier for people to find healthy ways to stop
I'm a boredom skin picker - I'm hoping using hydrocolloid patches will help me break my bad habit so I have something to touch but not necessarily scratch/pick at 🙃 *Currently waiting on an ADHD assessment lol
as a child, i use to pick my skin a lot. it started when i was 8, when my skin started to have acnes, my family noticed and always shame me about it so i pick it. i dont know but to me, its relieving. my skin we starting to get worse and my family keep on talking about it especially my mom. i felt bad about it so i picked on my skin more. i got stressed because of it but i'm also doing it because of stress. now, im so much better but sometimes i still do it :)
Thank you for this. I’ve struggled with this for 23 years. I’ve made countess New Years resolutions and promises to myself to quit picking, but I have yet to have gone more then 24 hours without picking. I appreciate you covering this!
I always pick the skin on my scalp. Sometimes you can find some sort of "grains" on your head and my goal is to find them. When I do find one, I feel an intense sense of relief and I take it out of my hair- pulling my hair in the process- and then play with the grain by rubbing it between my thumb and pointer finger. I'm merciless when I'm searching for these grains, I really scratch my skin and rub my skin when I do it. When I'm done, I rake my hands through my hair only to find out that what I just did made hair strands loose, so I always hold a whole clump of hair in my hands and immediately regret what I just did. Recently I have noticed some bald spots that are becoming bigger and bigger. I've had this problem since I was a teenager and I tried to stop this so so often, but nothing ever worked. I always thought it was just a bad habit. I'm glad it has a name now.
Thank you for bringing this video to us! In the last few months I have definitely understood that my skin looks fine if i don't touch it.. But i f i pass my hands through my skin, i feel stuff and i hate it. If i look too closely at a mirror (which i can never stop doing so) i destroy it and go through several days of repairing it and losing hours on makeup. It definetely impacts my daily life.
I'm consciously trying to stop picking at my blemishes and dry skin bumps and whatever else (I do avoid moles!) and it's a constant struggle. I needed this today. Thank you for all you do. Sending you positive energy from The City (hi neighbor!)
This is one of the most helpful and informative videos I’ve watched on the topic. I felt the same after watching one of your latest videos on rosacea. Thanks Cassandra! 💜
I have OCD, bipolar, cognitive issues, and I'm believed to be on the autism spectrum (according to my former psychiatrist, he retired, and waiting on new psychiatrist to get fully assessed), and WAS told to look into Dermatilomania (Excoriation disorder). I don't realize I'm doing it, until I have pulled my hand away and find blood. Used to bite my nails down to nothing, so I wasn't able to do any serious damage, but now that I no longer bite my nails, I have done a fair bit of damage to my scalp, my go to place. I have caught myself scanning (running your hand over the skin for bumps and imperfections), and stopped. But something that has helped me, is actually watching videos like Dr pimple popper :D Also constantly keeping my hands busy with these pop-it toys sure helps. The little toys that have the bubbles to "pop". :)
I just found this video in desperation to change. I’ve struggled with picking my skin so bad it’s made me drop out of school, it affects every aspect of my damn life. This isn’t me!
Every time I pick at my skin , I regret it ….But still I don’t restrain from doing it the next time… I promise myself to not pick at my skin and I will be able to control myself for maximum of 3 days only… I keep looking at my skin throughout the day in the mirror up close and see if there is formation of any small bumps or clogged pores. I always pick my skin when I wash my face , I feel all the little bumps that is barely visible to the naked eye , I want to remove that gunk so that it won’t be a acne in future… I really want to stop picking at my acne ,so acne can be controlled
I hate bumps I find anywhere on my skin. I hate the idea of having a blackhead that I miss but everyone else can see. I realize almost no one notices these small details. Still blackheads trigger shame in me. As a child I was molested by a teen boy who had blackheads on his upper lip ridge. It grossed me out at the time and still does. Blackheads remind me of that yucky experience and I want to literally remove it from my body.
This was wonderful! Could you do one on pulling as well? I’m guessing the treatment would be very similar but it would be great to hear about hair pulling specifically .
It started when I was 11-ish. My family & life was stressful so it would just happen. Eventually, I asked my Mom to take me to therapy in general. It got worse & worse but no matter how many doctors & psychiatrists I go to it was the same. The problem was skin picking was & still is my coping mechanism. When I was 13/14 I stopped contact with my dad for reasons. Therefore now it’s just me & my Mom, no one else. This led to Mom & I having arguments. Mom says I always start them but I don’t believe that. I agree that I do start some arguments but a lot of the time she does. I’ve always thought that no matter what I’m always going to disagree with people on things & that’s okay. However, when I disagree with mom or vice versa she just takes it out of proportion. She tells me to stop arguing & it’s just confusing. Anyways, Mom & I would have these arguments nearly daily. At first I would get frustrated after she yelled & return the anger. I then realised that was only making it worse so now I make myself stay calm. I still express through words I’m angry but speak in a neutral tone. I do my best not to lash out or say anything I will regret even if I think it’s a good idea in the moment. Now Mom says I’m being really passive aggressive & I’m such a bully. No matter what I did it would just get worse & worse. All I want is to confront the things that are uncomfortable which need to be talked about & be constructive. But no matter what whenever I tried to talk Mom would get angry, say she cannot talk about it at this time, to wait for a better time & refuse to answer anything else after that which I responded with. Every time she said we’d talk about it later she’d push it more later. I couldn’T & still can’t afford to go to a therapist as frequently as I need. Mom is literally the only person I could talk to so with her doing silent treatment I was alone. So I picked. Whenever I speak to her I want to pick at my skin even if she’s doing something nice. She has said & still says that the way I behave is bully behaviour when I keep insisting on having a good talk because I’m not respecting her boundaries & all I need to do is wait until she has time to talk later (which ends up being never). I do understand why she finds it difficult to talk about stressful things with me; her life is already extremely stressed & by the time I get to her she’s at full capacity. Whether it’s intentional or not, my problems are the least prioritised. Still, since I don’t have anything else to do when she can’t talk I pick. It hurts so much & when I tell her she’s a big trigger for my skin picking she says she believes that I’m not taking enough responsibility for the skin picking & putting everything on her when it’s not her. She says she believes that I’m choosing to let her affect me & choosing to feel this way which is ironic coming from a social worker in adult mental health.
Perhaps you can write a letter on how you feel to your mum. Then she will read in her free time. Meanwhile, do you have school friends or good friends to confide in?
I was picking the skin on my fingers before I finally pushed to myself to turn my tablet on and find something to watch while getting on with a chore. I continued to pick my fingers and watch this because it’s tough to push myself to get on with chores when I have quiet BPD, chronic pain, depression, anxiety and cptsd. I have been picking my fingers and my eczema since I was little, I hated school and got bullied and it was a coping mechanism. I would love to stop because one of my chronic pains effects my hands and so they really hurt and ache after I’ve been picking 😔
My dermatillomania was triggered by a bad sunburn i got in the 6th grade. I started peeling at the burn because i was in a class and i was finished with a project but my teacher didn't believe me that i was finished. Odd to think that event triggered an issue that lasted all to now where I'm 18. I feels validating to know that there is professional help i can get. Thank you
I've always had one issue or another. In preschool I had morsicatio buccarum (chewed inside of cheeks). In elementary school I switched to onychotillomania (nail biting/chewing). I was able to kick that habit in high school by changing to dermatillomania with my acne. I also picked up trichotillomania (hair pulling) at that time, which I still struggle with today (I'm 34). I don't pick my skin as bad anymore, but I can't help squeezing pimples if they look "ready," and I still pick at/bite my lateral nail folds.
Wow! I’ve dealt with biting the insides of my cheeks my entire life and never realized it was a diagnosable thing, I thought it was just me. Thank you for bringing that up, apparently it’s a form of OCD which makes sense!
I’m 20 and I have dermatillomania, as well as nail biting and occasionally, pulling out arm hairs or eyebrow hairs, as well as biting off the hair on my knuckles.
I have a compulsive behavior I’m taking a box, clover, blade, and peeking around the rims and edges of my eyes thinking that I have crusty around them and it’s almost like I get excited when I can dig into the ruins, my eyes and there’s like crusty flakes around my eyes, and I have also made my eyes bleed before
I’m a skin picker… not sure why! I’m going with boredom. I wear tights all the time for work which I’m guessing is causing the acne, then I pick away bc of it. And it’s interrupting my social agenda if you know what I mean!! 😒😒☹️☹️
I absolutely skin pick and cause scarring. Most times I dont realize I'm doing it, but I'll noticed I'm high stressed and doing it as a soothing behavior.
If it comes with hair picking or more. It can be Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB) and it can be a combination of Neurodivergent mind and Trauma. If you have BFRB is not linked to OCD it's trauma based.
I do not have acne. However, I pick scabs. It started with me picking my lips when I was little and I made my lip bleed and my mom was on the phone and when she saw me with blood all over my face, she hung the phone up and I got such a payoff from the attention that I never stopped. I do not create my own wounds but if I itch a mosquito bit or if I get a kitty scratch, I pick at it and turn it into a nightmare. I was diagnosed with dermatillomania. I've never been treated though. I have lots of scars, especially on my upper back, my forearms and my calves. Nowhere is safe but those are the main areas. I've done this since I was a little girl. People assume I am either a meth addict or a needle junkie. I am an addict but never did meth in my life and never used a needle. This has the feeling of OCD to me and I spend a great deal of time focused on my wounds. I can't find anyone in MN who can help me with this. My current therapist has never even heard of it. I do have ADHD, I do have childhood trauma.
I’m a skin picker. I’m so stressed and woke up and told myself, “my skin looks pretty good today!” Now, I’ll be going to bed so ashamed of myself for giving into the picking. Im afraid what it’s going to look like in the morning… 😔
Boy do I know that one. Sorry you are suffering with this maddening compulsion as well.
yes omg, and i feel so guilty because i know its making my skin worse, but i cant stop. Im about to go to sleep and i have so many spots that i picked at and now its worse than before.
Same 😢💔😔
Your not alone. Stay strong
Same 😭😭😭
Yes, skin picker... perfectionist, neat, and anxious about how I look. I love cleanliness, so in my mind, it feels like I am removing the dirt when I skin pick. I do it subconsciously. When I am done, I regret it. I go to bed with gloves on sometimes. My face looks worse because of the picking but most of the time I don't learn. It's even happening on my upper back, chest and shoulders because I can reach these areas. I've tried a lot of methods to trick me out of the behaviour but it is hard. It's like I want something to clean or fix. Even if my skin clears up I end up looking desperately for something to pick because I want to fix it even more, even if I know the picking didn't fix it.
I can so relate to everything you’ve said. I want to get those “stuff out” 😩
Same, although Accutane cleared up my acne (and I've managed to stop picking my face and back) I still feel the need to pick so I re-opened the scars on my shoulders. Now I've also started picking on my butt cheeks, so not going to wear a swimsuit anytime soon...
It just feels like a compulsion to make the skin smooth and if it's a bump it needs to be emptied 😬
Omg I'm the same. The look on my shoulder is so embarrassing, I never wear sleeveless tops because of it. It is always covered up. And my legs... I wear knee high socks to cover the unsightly scars and pigmentation.
I had this to, specially in my arms where i have keratosis pilaris and end up picking. I started to wear long sleeves more often (some fabrics are light and thin, can be worn even in summer). Another idea is to try to keep your hands ocupied with something, working with smth, artistic or not. If you're about to skin pick, you can also try rush to put on a facial. Also another thing i noticed, when i did gel nails for a while, i could not skin pick anymore, as it hurted the nail beds everytime i went to do it. Also the nails were a bit more thick then my usual nail so i ended up not being able to pimp anything out. It made me stressed for a while until i realised it was good to control my skin picking. Anyhow, hope something helps 🙏 best of luck
omg I’m crying - I do the same. When I am controlled I just do it on my scalp or hands. But lately I pick so much that my whole back and part of my arms are affected so I have to use shirts with sleeves and clothes that can hide blood from the scabs 😢
I have SEVERE skin picking issues. My whole body hurts and is full of scars like it's not normal anymore. I feel like i have no control over myself and it is really affecting my life. But this video really helped me, i did not skin pick for the last 4 days. I know this does not sound like much for some people, but for me this is a big achievment
Keep it up! Even if you went back don't shame yourself, just keep trying.
It’s actually NOT easy to stop! Whenever I’m stressed… that’s how I deal! I don’t over eat… I got to the bathroom(for hours), and damage myself.
I sit in the mirror and tell myself I’m loved, I’m a wife, mom, friend, and beautiful woman. And, still even if I don’t have a pimple I find a way to “damage” myself and wake with a bunch of red marks the next morning… depressed and broken. I never know why I do it tho. Stress… tiredness. Overwhelmed?!
Have you seen a psychologist or psychiatrist because it seems to me you require specialist help. I am seeing a psychologist as well as a psychiatrist after being diagnosed with personality and mood disorders. It has affected my ability to work hence I'm in therapy.
Your blackheads and whiteheads will naturally come up to the surface. When they do wash your face and don’t put moisturizer to fry them out. Then you can pick them gently and they fall off. I used to do the same. I remember my friend saying it looked like I got attacked by bees prematurely squeezing and using tweezers to beat the development of blackheads.
Remember nobody is looking that closely at your face.
This sounds like skin picking is like cutting for you.
I've struggled with excoriation disorder for 13 years--half my life. Acne exacerbated my skin picking to such an extreme that I couldn't date, visit friends, or even attend school. For me, this disorder was debilitating and stole much of my youth. Cognitive behavioral therapy and SSRIs helped reduce the urge to pick. I still relapse occasionally, but I feel (and look) healthy now.
happy for you! stay strong💙
That's so sad 😔, before the video, i didnt even know that this was a disorder to this point. Glad you're better now, just keep appreciate yourself, dont give up, ever, and keep focusing on positivity even the smallests things in life (like the inventor of the hair brush...... dont know who this guy is, but im so happy he existed!... Are you not??) 😌❤
Bravo 💚
Thank you for your story 🙏🏼 and same here 😢 it is such a struggle and it stops you from living a normal life 💔😔
Thank you for sharing. What you shared is 100% accurate for me. 13 years. I’m turning 27 this month.
Ive literally done it for as long as i remember and have always felt alone. Sometimes have spent hours before bed doing this. Sending love to all those who understand
This is me. I spent hours last night picking at my skin before bed. 5 hrs later I was still awake at 4 am. Forcing myself to put down the tweezers.
It’s so comforting to see a video like this and to have everyone commenting their own experiences and realise this is a more common thing than most people realise. I’ve been plagued with this condition since I was a child and it has been the bain of my existence for over 10 years.
I specifically remember when it started. I was 10 or 11 years old and I was going to a football match with lots of my family and friends. But I had this big pimple on my chin. Being a literal child at the time it didn’t bother me but my mum said it looked ugly and insisted on popping it for me and then covered up the redness with concealer. I think from that moment I was subconsciously taught that that’s what you do when you get pimples, you pop them. I don’t blame my mum for it but she accidentally triggered a condition in me that would plague me into my adult years.
As I became a teenager and got more and more spotty I picked my face to death. I specifically remember being in a hotel one night sitting on the bathroom counter with my face millimetres from the mirror and picking my face until 4am!!!! I’d picked my face solid for about 6 hours and picked so bad I was digging into nothing but pure flesh and I had blood dripping down my face.
It’s really damaged me emotionally. I also remember when I was… I don’t know maybe 15 or 16 coming to my parents and asking to see a therapist for the issue I had with picking my skin. My mum told me I was being ridiculous… my dad thankfully sat me down and had a long talk with me and tried to help me but talked me out of therapy.
I’m now 26 years old and to this day I am still suffering with skin picking. I amazingly don’t have any bad permanent damage I don’t think from all the years of picking. I don’t have any bad scars or pitted skin. I adore skincare and I can tell my skin is in really good shape if I could just quit picking… I’m nowhere near as bad as I used to be but I still fall off the wagon on the regular… I’ll be able to go a few days without picking then sometimes the mirror just gets me and there I am an hour later with a red face.
I’m really trying to stop because I’m sick of being an adult who has so much potential for good skin if she could just stop picking every tiny white head and squeezing every single sebaceous filament out of her face!!
I’ve realised my biggest trigger is the light we have right above the mirror in our bathroom. Because it’s directly above the mirror the angle of the light shining down on my skin I’ve found out can show up shit that isn’t even really there! It really shows up everything on my skin and just isn’t flattering. So I’ve learned now when I’m going to do my skincare and I need the light on I turn off the mirror light and put on the main bathroom light which is on the ceiling behind me when I’m at the mirror. This provides nice even lighting that doesn’t show up all the nonexistent bad stuff on my face and it’s been helping. I also need to try to catch myself when I’m looking in the mirror. I’ll often lean right over the bathroom sink or right up to the mirror in my bedroom and start analysing my skin and I realise I’m literally looking for something to pick! Sometimes I manage to be aware of it and snap myself out of it but sometimes I still slip up.
It’s such a difficult addiction and habit to break out of but I’m trying! I’m sick of wasting hours in the mirror and the shame the next day when I have to wake up and be afraid to see my reflection to see how much damage I did the night before. It’s just not worth it. This video is right we end up missing out on life because of this. I’ve distinctly cancelled plans and said no to things because I felt like I looked too bad to be seen.
Hopefully one day we’ll all get the skin we want ❤️
I really relate to your story. My picking started the same way actually and I too had issues with bathroom lighting that made me pick incessantly. I do have some pitted scaring from when I was a child and didn’t know better, but I’ve learned to accept that and I do think it’s probably treatable. I now started seeing a derm and we will address the scaring once the acne is controlled. I’ve gotten so much better about picking and try to keep myself from ever getting too close to the mirror. I try to remind myself that literally no one is looking at me THAT closely lol.
Omg I felt it so deeply when you described waking up the next day and checking the reflection to see how bad it was! I do this too 😢 sucks to have this. Just a few days ago I picked really badly at one specific spot and I was so relieved the next day because the redness was not as bad as I thought it would be! Thanks for sharing this, I really feel normalized in this comment section and I’m so glad to have similar people here ❤
You are so powerful for sharing this. I can relate to the point with parents a lot. Popping also has been a norm always, so I thought that’s the only way you can handle skin imperfections. And then when I would have scars from popping a d picking pimples, my parents would comment “look what you did to yourself” as if I could stop that easily… I feel better now luckily. But still lapsing sometimes
You're doing great but being really aware, sharing this, and doing some things to stop. I think eventually you will get better at stopping... something that has to trigger you to say enough is enough. I hope you get there. I did. I think this video helped me realise I had a problem. I took steps to stop.
I was actually getting emotional watching this video. I skin pick and had no idea it was even considered a disorder. I have adhd and have been skin picking since my acne started to flare up (probably due to stress/hormones) and to hear that so many other people go through this makes me feel a lot less ashamed about it. Finally scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist after a year of trying it on my own, so I’m excited to be able to add this to the conversation!
i felt like i had to take deep breaths a squint my eyes like i was in pain. I hate skin picking. I literally just went in the bathroom and pulled off scabs on my face and now I look horrible.
damn i came here wanting to leave a comment about dermatillomania/excoriation disorder and am pleasantly surprised to see that this video is about it... thank you for raising awareness. people really don't understand that it's a serious issue (and a newly discovered one, apparently). it has ties to ocd so it's like seriously impossible to stop without help
I am just watching this after picking for seven hours on my free day, and I really think that it has impacted my eyesight over the years
I had no idea psychodermatology was a thing. This might be a game changer for me. Thanks Cassandra
Gosh, I’ve dealt with skin picking since I was like 12, so I’m going on 10 years with dermatillomania now. It can be so exhausting just trying to get through my daily routine without completely destroying parts of my skin. I’m almost completely recovered when it comes to my facial picking habits, but my shoulders/arms just seem to be the area(s) I continue to struggle with regardless of how much I try not to pick. I seriously feel for everyone that deals/has dealt with this issue, as I know how tiring it can truly be, but remember to be kind to yourself in life’s trying moments, and know that you’re not alone 💗
I can't express enough how relieved I am to see I'm not the only one going through this. I don't remember when or how it started, I've just always picked at my skin and its ruined so many opportunities for me. For example, I've cancelled plans on friends and missed days out because I was too ashamed and embarrassed to go out with how my skin looked, I didn't attend School, College, University and sometimes called in sick to work because I couldn't cover it with makeup or just had no motivation to even try because I knew you would still be able to see it. I say to my friends, family, even my boyfriend that I have spot prone skin, but realistically I know (and they know) I'm the problem. Whenever I feel any little bump under my skin, I pick at it trying to prevent breakouts, but won't stop until its bleeding to make sure theres nothing left underneath. Once I've felt that bump, in my head I can't stop thinking about it until I've picked at it. Its now become a morning and nighttime routine where I just examine every inch of my skin, thinking I'm helping to clear out my pores, then when I take a step back and look at my face overall, I see how much damage I've done and instantly regret it/feel guilty, telling myself "Im never picking again!'. If my boyfriend got paid every time I've said that, I'm not joking when I say he'd be a BILLIONAIRE.. I definitely notice I pick more when I'm stressed or just bored. This morning I woke up and was so excited how clear my skin was, I'm now writing this after an episode which I spent 2 hours in the bathroom picking as I'm stressed about not having clear skin for my holiday. I feel like no matter how much progress I make, I always go back to picking. I know for a fact I'm going to do it again, but I just don't know how to stop myself anymore. I try to distract myself and refuse to look in the bathroom mirror, specifically in the morning or in the evening after a shower as my aim is to quickly wash my face and put skincare on to stop temptation. But sometimes I do it subconsciously, not even realising I'm doing it until its too late. Trying to explain this to anyone who doesn't pick is impossible as they truly don't understand mentally how hard it is to just stop. Starting off with OCD and always being a perfectionist has now made me obsessed with my skin. It really is a vicious cycle. Picking leads to stress, stress leads to more breakouts, more breakouts lead to more picking, more picking leads to stress. Im over feeling depressed and self conscious about my skin, picking is so time consuming and emotionally draining. Its definitely taken over my life !
Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one! I started picking at age 7 after a stressful event. I went to several derms who didn’t know what to do with a 7 yr old with acne. I progressed to nail biting, picking cuticles etc at one point in my 20s I’d always have to hide my bleeding hands at work. I’ve always felt ashamed by it. During lockdown I tried wearing gloves at work as I tend to do it more when stressed and that seemed to help break the cycle for a bit. But it comes back. I struggle with stress I think I have some other conditions that contribute to this. It makes complete sense that this condition is approached from both the physical and mental side. Thanks for sharing!
Dermatillomania is a serious issue.
And only just becoming known.
60 years without treatment and my scars are a part of me.
Accutane will help.
I’m 20 and I was diagnosed with it last year
@@youtubetrash3196 you're young! God bless you!
I'm 60 too. I didn't know it was a disorder until several years ago! I've picked my face ,(cystic acne) . That's gone...the acne that is. Now I have Ehlers-Danlos and skin is very fragile and takes twice as long to heal. Eczema on hairline. It does relax me. I can pick and mess with my face, cuticles (very dry) on hands and toes . Heels. ...for hours!
I’ve been picking my scalp for nearly 40 years
ADHD here. BFRB (body focused repetitive behaviors) are a HUGE form of stimming for me! And my issues with skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting were all exacerbated by several dermatological conditions (chronic yeast infections, recurring folliculitis, and the effect of low estrogen on my hair/skin/nail texture and health). It’s a bummer because there just aren’t psychoderms (or any BFRB specialists) in my area. ☹️☹️☹️
Same, I have ADHD, and I have dermatillomania. I also bite my nails, and I have white lines on my nails at 20 years old from biting my nails since I was 8 years old. I pick my skin or bite my nails when I am emotionally low, or when I am bored/need to stim.
I started picking after my daughter was born, ie post partum depression. I remember the first clogged pore that I popped. The release feeling and sound made me feel better. But now after 9 years, I am finally admitting I have this condition, stemming from depression and anxiety. I am owning this and actively trying to resolve my situation.
Thank you Cassandra! It t was because of you and the first video I watched, where I bawled my eyes out for days after, that I realized what it was and it's negative impact on my life.
Yeah, she tried to be light and breezy about it but you can see this is a subject that deeply impacts Cassandra emotionally. Thanks for being brave and bringing us an expert to talk about this so we understand it more. 💕
The first time I went to a dermatologist for my skin, I told her immediately that I had dermatillomania. She didn’t listen to me, she just took one look at my face and said yeah you have severe cystic acne, we’ll give you some benzoyl peroxide. She didn’t seem to understand that I did NOT have cystic acne at all. Everything on my face was self inflicted. What good would bp do when cystic acne wasn’t my problem? At most I had very mild acne. The rest were just wounds. She told me I’d have “cystic acne” probably for the rest of my life bc it was very hard to treat. I left the office crying and feeling unheard and invalidated. I never saw another derm after that :( I wanna thank you for making a video about this, spreading awareness about the condition is so important as is removing the stigma ❤️
This helps me so much. I’ve been picking my skin for years, but I never considered it may be a psychological disorder. I see my friends with perfect skin and I think whenever I see a spot, I need to attack it. I never felt comfortable going to a regular derm for fear of judgment, and they’d simply tell me to “stop picking”. To know that there is a specific specialist that can help with this problem is almost comforting and a relief for me. Thank you for sharing!
I told my mom about this today and I told her that I do this... I am so glad I am not alone, because people make me feel as if there's something wrong with me 💔 even somwtimes wanting to hit me to stop...
No one should hit you to get you to do anything. You are definitely not alone in your issues with picking. Good luck and love yourself no matter what. Pimples are not a character flaw!
Wow! It's like the doctor knows me. I have anxiety, I've always washed my hands more often than necessary and very possibly ADHD and I've struggled with picking for a very long time. I haven't been able to find a way to quit. I have been able to do it less often by keeping my hands busy whether I'm working, playing games on my phone or something.
Thank you very much for this video.
I have been struggling with skin picking on my fingers and cuticles since I was six (I'm 30 now). I could never stop
it: I saw a psychologist who only made it worse, getting my nails done at a salon would always end up in shaming, and once I tries to just 'restrain' myself and it literally drove me insane so I had to get professional help.
Sending love and wishing strenght to all
my fellow dermatillomaniacs.
Omg I have been waiting for you to talk about this for soo long ,this is a really big struggle for me I started when I was 12 and now at 18 I do it unconsciously no matter how many times I promise myself I'd stop ,it's really hard to stop and gets worse during exam season i keep picking while studying and just end up with so much damage.
Anxiety is a HUGE contributor. I started picking to relieve my stress after I had my kid. I began having issues with anxiety and hormonal acne and that combo lead me to pick every little bump on my face. I squeeze every pore and actually enjoy seeing the sebaceous filaments come out, it gives me a dopamine release. I also have ADHD. This has lead to major skin problems I've never had before. I think hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy and "tapping" really helped. I catch myself much quicker now and convince myself to walk away. I tell myself I'm only going to look in the mirror no closer than 30" away. I've gotten much better recently.
I had a pretty severe phase of skin picking and it was because of the domestic abuse I went through as a child. It just relaxed me and I also re-opened scabs a lot and kept small open wounds on the back of my head to have a way of instantly experiencing the relief of self-harm without anyone noticing. Especially throughout the day with minor stressors at school etc it was so nice to have that. After I moved out of my parents house and started my own life it got a lot better. I still pop a pimple every now and then but I don’t „destroy“ my face / neck / shoulders etc.
Thank you for sharing
@@jenniferstorm5070 Thank you for taking the time to read it. It is better now but back then I knew it was an addiction because I couldn’t stop myself. I hope people will be honest with themselves and seek professional help. Not just for the skin picking but the underlying issues.
@@Ninitschga Yes, exactly. A great way is to reach out and educate, as Cassandra does with this video with Dr Ahmed as a guest. I hope this topic becomes more widely known.
Love to you!
Thank you for talking about this. Started when I was 13 and had my first zit. I knew not to touch it because it could scar or get worse. Family was visiting and my mother insisted that I pop it because she was embarrassed of my skin. She also gave me the brilliant advise at the same age, "If you've got it, flaunt it", in regards to encouraging me to "dress sexy". She basically impressed upon me that if I wasn't "hot" no one would like me. As I am 38 now, I see that she passed her own issues onto me at that age. She was the insecure one who felt competitive toward me and my sister, so she had to take us down a notch and pass her dysfunction onto us. She is no longer a welcome part of my life because she hasn't changed or grown. I still struggle very much with my skin and it gets worse when I feel stressed, inadequate, or insecure. Its obsessive and I know I'd have good skin if I just wore oven mitts!! I never knew this was a thing!
I’ve been embarrassed by my parents who exposed my picking to my neurologist when it first started instead of taking me to a therapist. It made it worse. I was able to stop for a few months, but I was never able to stop again. That was in junior year of high school, I’m 24 now and I’ve only made minimal progress because I’m too embarrassed to go get help after what my parents did. I started accutane and was able to stop picking my face, which was a bad spot for me, but now I’m trying really hard to stop picking my arms and legs. I can’t wear shorts or short sleeves and haven’t for years now and it really makes me upset because I feel weird and gross. It really helps to see these videos and know I’m not alone and that there’s help and I can keep making progress. Thank you 💜
Wow! This is me! It's so frustrating. I just want a bump/pimple to go away. Nothing but softness under my probing fingers makes me feel good. I've been seeing a Derm (yes it IS a hormonal acne at 48) but the picking IS a vicious cycle and my own Derm touched upon it. When I leave my skin alone (very difficult) I notice how much better it looks. For something helpful, I've been using Mighty Patch to put over areas that I should leave alone (you should see the silicone patches all over my face...lol!), but it does help. There may be other ones out there that are cheaper but they are great if you are staying home in the day or put them on before you go to bed. For me, I love to read but often I will feel my hand reach up and start feeling for bumps...any bump! I really don't have serious scars on my face but from years ago I have scars on my back that have faded enough where I feel okay wearing something that shows off my back. Thank you so much Cassandra for this platform! I wish there was something like this in the 1980's.
You basically described me. In my 40s and still learning.
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. I struggle with skin picking and when it was at it's worst I was also pulling out my hair. I was told it's a compulsive condition called tricotillamania (probably spelled it wrong). I have bipolar disorder and self medicated for years w drugs and alcohol. During active addiction my self care was practically non existent. I don't have acne prone skin BUT would often breakout as my body was detoxing from drugs n alcohol. I would pick so deep I always thought the little hair follicles on my face were puss that wouldn't come out n I'd go at it a safety pins, tweezers, comidone remover...it was so bad. I'd pick the scabs so my make up/cover up wouldn't emphasize them. I still go thru picking bouts during time of stress. I didn't always focus on my face. Sometimes it was my hands, nails, arms thighs. I've got scars galore on my breasts and declate as well. It's okay though because my scars are just part of my story. Thank you for letting me share.
Thank you, really useful clip! Feeling better there’s so many ppl out there struggling from skin picking like me :)
I am a life long skin picker and currently trying to stop the behavior. My skin picking is stress induced for sure as I seem to just start doing it when I am under stress which is often. It is hard to stop and I find that I do it without even realizing I’m doing it. I try to hide it from people including my spouse, but she is aware I am picking my skin and tries to get me to stop. Glad to have found this video !
I have tried so many times to stop. It usually lasts maybe a week before I'm back to picking. And people don't get how hard it is to resist. The more i try not to pick, the more i think about it. Resisting makes me feel tense and the urge to pick becomes a physical sensation, sort of like an itch. And it's just so much easier to give in and pick, but then I'm bleeding again.
I have this! I also have some symptoms of higher cortisol. Sleep issues, weight gain and very difficult to lose it, acne, and some joint pain. Ok so know I need to figure out how to get help.
This started when my husband deployed. I thought I had a good handle on it. Ugh he has been home for 2 years but this hasn't stopped. PTSD? Crazy as it sounds I think so.
Thank you so much for this post. I have been going crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I know I have to get the cortisol level down and deal with my deep emotions.
Just come across this video - YES!! So awesome, it’s so great to see this information out there. I started skin picking during high school and 10 years later I still fall back on it the moment I’m stressed 😕
I've done nail biting since I was a kid and it is, indeed, a vicious cycle... between my parents telling me not to do it and my hands looking horrible, it has been really stressful for me 😢My only escape from stress and anxiety are my hands and everytime I see some healing skin or else, I ripped it off bc boredom or stress. You can imagine my college years, tragic.
Thank you so much, Cassandra for this video 💖 these disorders are not very talked about and now I know that there is a
specialization that can treat them.
Oh I know exactly what you mean, I'm always picking at the scabs on my back and shoulders during lectures. Started doing it in bed too during that pre-sleep anxiety phase 😭
@@kelly55 ikr?? it is really stressful... my hands were really horrible during finals, I hated them 😓
People who bite their nails actually have a better immune system because they are constantly exposing their mouths to bacteria on the hands.
@@daniburke9452 interesting, that could explain why I don't get ill so often 🤔
Cassandra!! I needed this video 😢 I’ve been very seriously considering therapy for skin picking, it makes me late for work, miss out on time spent with loved ones, and totally undoing all of the hard work I’m doing with my skin. 💔
I got home from work yesterday and spent 5 hours picking then I went to bed, I barely heard the TV playing.
I’m a skin picker and my face been covered in dark spots since I was 11, I really want to stop and I want clear skin for the first time in my adult life
I don't suffer this issue, I have other skin tribulations but not this. I really liked this though. And was immensely happy to have this brought to the public. Thank you 😊
Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t see this video before! I have dermatillomania since I was 14. I’m currently 28. I’ve been in therapy for almost 10 years, and it’s a lot better but I still engage almost every day. It’s a lot better, and I pick just a little, but when I’m overly stressed I do cause quite a lot of damage. Thanks for making a video on this topic! I love your channel ❤
Thank you, for years I’ve picked my skin almost every night… I’m trying to stop so perfect timing
Oh I love this concept! It's is so interesting & makes so much sense! I hope this discipline becomes more recognition & people get more aware of it.
Thank you so much Cassandra. If you want to talk to some of us who have been struggling with this, I'm sure we would like to help. I have been in cognitive behavioral therapy for two years to get better. It can become so very extreme and crippling. I just want to express such deep gratitude. Thank you.
I am so so happy this is a field of medicine. When I started my mental health journey, I told my Dr and my therapist about my skin picking, and they both told me I probably wouldn't be able to stop. However, once getting on the right medications, got the proper diagnoses, and actually started finding rhe proper products for my skin, it all has helped so mucu
Not a skin-picker or acne-sufferer myself but I do know people who fit this profile! I don’t think any of us has heard of paychodermatology before 🤔 Thank you for spreading this important information that hopefully creates realization in people and gives them new hope for an actual treatment! ❤️
i feel like a complete different person after watching this video. Thanks Cassandra for bringing this up❤
Yep, I was diagnosed with this last year. I’m 20 years old, and I didn’t know before that it was an actual thing. I have always done this, but didn’t realize it before. Mine worsened after I accidentally hit my head on a wall and my scalp scabbed up. I was fascinated by the scabs and picking them was satisfying. My first symptoms were nail biting and picking my skin on my feet. I was in time out a lot as a kid because I would act out (undiagnosed ADHD), and picking my feet kept me quiet and was soothing during when I was in time out. I’ve picked my lips, feet, wrist, arms, legs, etc. I have also pulled out some eyelashes, arm hairs, and some eyebrow hairs.
I can not put into words how much this video will change my life. Always going to a dermatologist getting prescribed creams that temporarily work. When I'm the only making it worse. Thank you will be booking appt
I am an ADHD skin picker, mostly hands and face. Most of my acne is hormonal and worse around my period
I also have ADHD and have dermatillomania, I was diagnosed with dermatillomania last year. I skin pick all the time, often very few hours, or every hour. I can’t stop picking.
Thanks so much for this I’ve been asking since I found you a few months ago and that’s been my biggest skin struggle.
I’ve struggled my whole life with this. It’s awful
I’m really grateful for this video. I’ve always known that my skin picking was a neurological satisfaction - I just find satisfaction in the release of the gunk. What started to make me think more deeply about my acne was recognizing I have “acne” only on my upper back and chest but not on my face as I’m very careful to not pick my face. I’m grateful for the tip to remove the urge to pick because I know that’s my biggest obstacle and something I have been trying to find ways to stop or channel into another avenue.
Thank you!
I didn't know so many other people dealt with this!!! 😭 I've been picking at cuts, scabs, bumps, pimples, or even just pigmentation I was literally born with since I was 4... I used to use a metal loop thing for popping zits my mom bought me as a younger teen, but after I noticed I had literally bent it I realized I had to get rid of it! I've gotten better with it, I used to do it for maybe an hour sometimes, but now I only do it out of boredom for 10 mins.
Keeping up with trimming my nails has helped, if they're too short to scratch my face with then the most I can do is press on it. If you're struggling with this too, try cutting your nails as short as comfortably possible! (This also got rid of my habit of peeling the tips of my nails, they were always so uneven before)
it almost made me cry when I heard her say it's okay to do it safely, I've never heard anyone tell me that before, and it relieved a lot of the shame I have around it 😭 this is one of the many reasons it's so important to destigmatize things like this, because it helps people suffering talk about it, and makes it easier for people to find healthy ways to stop
This was amazing. Wow Cassandra, I learned so much. I never knew this specialty existed.
I'm a boredom skin picker - I'm hoping using hydrocolloid patches will help me break my bad habit so I have something to touch but not necessarily scratch/pick at 🙃
*Currently waiting on an ADHD assessment lol
Thank you so much for addressing this like that instead of just cringe and shame us ❤
I’ve struggled with skin picking my whole life and I’ve gotten a lot better at it the last few years. Thank you for this great video Cassandra 💖💖
Thank you Cass. Both Dr. Ahmed and your insights are invaluable 💖
as a child, i use to pick my skin a lot. it started when i was 8, when my skin started to have acnes, my family noticed and always shame me about it so i pick it. i dont know but to me, its relieving. my skin we starting to get worse and my family keep on talking about it especially my mom. i felt bad about it so i picked on my skin more. i got stressed because of it but i'm also doing it because of stress.
now, im so much better but sometimes i still do it :)
Thank you for this. I’ve struggled with this for 23 years. I’ve made countess New Years resolutions and promises to myself to quit picking, but I have yet to have gone more then 24 hours without picking. I appreciate you covering this!
THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE YOU TOO...WILL BE NICE TO MYSELF AND TRUST I CAN CONQUER THIS HABIT
I just had this conversation with my dermatologist yesterday. My acne is real, but my picking makes it so much worse! Trying to learn ways to stop.
Wow - the more you know. This conversation was very eye opening! Thanks for this.
I always pick the skin on my scalp. Sometimes you can find some sort of "grains" on your head and my goal is to find them. When I do find one, I feel an intense sense of relief and I take it out of my hair- pulling my hair in the process- and then play with the grain by rubbing it between my thumb and pointer finger.
I'm merciless when I'm searching for these grains, I really scratch my skin and rub my skin when I do it. When I'm done, I rake my hands through my hair only to find out that what I just did made hair strands loose, so I always hold a whole clump of hair in my hands and immediately regret what I just did. Recently I have noticed some bald spots that are becoming bigger and bigger.
I've had this problem since I was a teenager and I tried to stop this so so often, but nothing ever worked. I always thought it was just a bad habit. I'm glad it has a name now.
I've gone almost a month without doing this now!
@@DwynTwowell done! 🤜🤛
I knew I had an issue with this when I started picking when falling asleep and especially when waking up when I am not fully conscious…
It’s pretty hard cause sometimes the family says: you don’t need medical attention or anything, just stop picking. And they don’t understand
Thank you for bringing this video to us! In the last few months I have definitely understood that my skin looks fine if i don't touch it..
But i f i pass my hands through my skin, i feel stuff and i hate it. If i look too closely at a mirror (which i can never stop doing so) i destroy it and go through several days of repairing it and losing hours on makeup. It definetely impacts my daily life.
I'm consciously trying to stop picking at my blemishes and dry skin bumps and whatever else (I do avoid moles!) and it's a constant struggle. I needed this today.
Thank you for all you do. Sending you positive energy from The City (hi neighbor!)
This is one of the most helpful and informative videos I’ve watched on the topic. I felt the same after watching one of your latest videos on rosacea. Thanks Cassandra! 💜
Great information, I did not know that psycodermatologist existed. Thanks for sharing, always great content xx
I have OCD, bipolar, cognitive issues, and I'm believed to be on the autism spectrum (according to my former psychiatrist, he retired, and waiting on new psychiatrist to get fully assessed), and WAS told to look into Dermatilomania (Excoriation disorder). I don't realize I'm doing it, until I have pulled my hand away and find blood. Used to bite my nails down to nothing, so I wasn't able to do any serious damage, but now that I no longer bite my nails, I have done a fair bit of damage to my scalp, my go to place. I have caught myself scanning (running your hand over the skin for bumps and imperfections), and stopped. But something that has helped me, is actually watching videos like Dr pimple popper :D Also constantly keeping my hands busy with these pop-it toys sure helps. The little toys that have the bubbles to "pop". :)
I just found this video in desperation to change. I’ve struggled with picking my skin so bad it’s made me drop out of school, it affects every aspect of my damn life. This isn’t me!
Every time I pick at my skin , I regret it ….But still I don’t restrain from doing it the next time…
I promise myself to not pick at my skin and I will be able to control myself for maximum of 3 days only…
I keep looking at my skin throughout the day in the mirror up close and see if there is formation of any small bumps or clogged pores.
I always pick my skin when I wash my face , I feel all the little bumps that is barely visible to the naked eye , I want to remove that gunk so that it won’t be a acne in future…
I really want to stop picking at my acne ,so acne can be controlled
I hate bumps I find anywhere on my skin. I hate the idea of having a blackhead that I miss but everyone else can see. I realize almost no one notices these small details. Still blackheads trigger shame in me. As a child I was molested by a teen boy who had blackheads on his upper lip ridge. It grossed me out at the time and still does. Blackheads remind me of that yucky experience and I want to literally remove it from my body.
Great video!
I learnt the HPA Axis in Biopsychology, and the treatments for these disorders.
I really want to get into psychodermatology.
Wow. This is SO important. Thanks Cassandra!
I got halfway through this video before realising I was picking the whole time and didn't even notice 😰
I have found so much comfort with the larger size pimple patches. I let my fingers rub across the patch instead of pick at the pimples.
This was wonderful! Could you do one on pulling as well? I’m guessing the treatment would be very similar but it would be great to hear about hair pulling specifically .
I’ve suffered from skin picking for nearly 40 years
It can also be based on mosquitoe bites, dry cracked skin or wounds from your cat scratching you.
It started when I was 11-ish. My family & life was stressful so it would just happen. Eventually, I asked my Mom to take me to therapy in general. It got worse & worse but no matter how many doctors & psychiatrists I go to it was the same. The problem was skin picking was & still is my coping mechanism. When I was 13/14 I stopped contact with my dad for reasons. Therefore now it’s just me & my Mom, no one else. This led to Mom & I having arguments. Mom says I always start them but I don’t believe that. I agree that I do start some arguments but a lot of the time she does. I’ve always thought that no matter what I’m always going to disagree with people on things & that’s okay. However, when I disagree with mom or vice versa she just takes it out of proportion. She tells me to stop arguing & it’s just confusing. Anyways, Mom & I would have these arguments nearly daily. At first I would get frustrated after she yelled & return the anger. I then realised that was only making it worse so now I make myself stay calm. I still express through words I’m angry but speak in a neutral tone. I do my best not to lash out or say anything I will regret even if I think it’s a good idea in the moment. Now Mom says I’m being really passive aggressive & I’m such a bully. No matter what I did it would just get worse & worse. All I want is to confront the things that are uncomfortable which need to be talked about & be constructive. But no matter what whenever I tried to talk Mom would get angry, say she cannot talk about it at this time, to wait for a better time & refuse to answer anything else after that which I responded with. Every time she said we’d talk about it later she’d push it more later. I couldn’T & still can’t afford to go to a therapist as frequently as I need. Mom is literally the only person I could talk to so with her doing silent treatment I was alone. So I picked. Whenever I speak to her I want to pick at my skin even if she’s doing something nice. She has said & still says that the way I behave is bully behaviour when I keep insisting on having a good talk because I’m not respecting her boundaries & all I need to do is wait until she has time to talk later (which ends up being never). I do understand why she finds it difficult to talk about stressful things with me; her life is already extremely stressed & by the time I get to her she’s at full capacity. Whether it’s intentional or not, my problems are the least prioritised. Still, since I don’t have anything else to do when she can’t talk I pick. It hurts so much & when I tell her she’s a big trigger for my skin picking she says she believes that I’m not taking enough responsibility for the skin picking & putting everything on her when it’s not her. She says she believes that I’m choosing to let her affect me & choosing to feel this way which is ironic coming from a social worker in adult mental health.
Perhaps you can write a letter on how you feel to your mum. Then she will read in her free time. Meanwhile, do you have school friends or good friends to confide in?
This was really helpful. Appreciate the upload xo
I was picking the skin on my fingers before I finally pushed to myself to turn my tablet on and find something to watch while getting on with a chore. I continued to pick my fingers and watch this because it’s tough to push myself to get on with chores when I have quiet BPD, chronic pain, depression, anxiety and cptsd. I have been picking my fingers and my eczema since I was little, I hated school and got bullied and it was a coping mechanism. I would love to stop because one of my chronic pains effects my hands and so they really hurt and ache after I’ve been picking 😔
This is so interesting! Thank you Cassandra!
I can't stop.
was wonderin wher u wer, welcome back💕💕I hav chronic stress annd breakouts, never popped or picked tho
My dermatillomania was triggered by a bad sunburn i got in the 6th grade. I started peeling at the burn because i was in a class and i was finished with a project but my teacher didn't believe me that i was finished. Odd to think that event triggered an issue that lasted all to now where I'm 18.
I feels validating to know that there is professional help i can get. Thank you
love you for sharing that topic!
I've always had one issue or another. In preschool I had morsicatio buccarum (chewed inside of cheeks). In elementary school I switched to onychotillomania (nail biting/chewing). I was able to kick that habit in high school by changing to dermatillomania with my acne. I also picked up trichotillomania (hair pulling) at that time, which I still struggle with today (I'm 34). I don't pick my skin as bad anymore, but I can't help squeezing pimples if they look "ready," and I still pick at/bite my lateral nail folds.
Wow! I’ve dealt with biting the insides of my cheeks my entire life and never realized it was a diagnosable thing, I thought it was just me. Thank you for bringing that up, apparently it’s a form of OCD which makes sense!
I’m 20 and I have dermatillomania, as well as nail biting and occasionally, pulling out arm hairs or eyebrow hairs, as well as biting off the hair on my knuckles.
This is so helpful! And insightful! Thank you!!!!!!
This is me, I just literally picked my skin and caused even more irritation and bleeding
Cass we want your thoughts and opinions on the new Kim Kardashian skincare line!!!
My skin picking isn’t severe, but I definitely do it…
I have a compulsive behavior I’m taking a box, clover, blade, and peeking around the rims and edges of my eyes thinking that I have crusty around them and it’s almost like I get excited when I can dig into the ruins, my eyes and there’s like crusty flakes around my eyes, and I have also made my eyes bleed before
I’m a skin picker… not sure why! I’m going with boredom. I wear tights all the time for work which I’m guessing is causing the acne, then I pick away bc of it. And it’s interrupting my social agenda if you know what I mean!! 😒😒☹️☹️
I absolutely skin pick and cause scarring. Most times I dont realize I'm doing it, but I'll noticed I'm high stressed and doing it as a soothing behavior.
If it comes with hair picking or more. It can be Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB) and it can be a combination of Neurodivergent mind and Trauma. If you have BFRB is not linked to OCD it's trauma based.
I do not have acne. However, I pick scabs. It started with me picking my lips when I was little and I made my lip bleed and my mom was on the phone and when she saw me with blood all over my face, she hung the phone up and I got such a payoff from the attention that I never stopped. I do not create my own wounds but if I itch a mosquito bit or if I get a kitty scratch, I pick at it and turn it into a nightmare. I was diagnosed with dermatillomania. I've never been treated though. I have lots of scars, especially on my upper back, my forearms and my calves. Nowhere is safe but those are the main areas. I've done this since I was a little girl. People assume I am either a meth addict or a needle junkie. I am an addict but never did meth in my life and never used a needle. This has the feeling of OCD to me and I spend a great deal of time focused on my wounds. I can't find anyone in MN who can help me with this. My current therapist has never even heard of it. I do have ADHD, I do have childhood trauma.