Your way of looking at life is very eye opening and deep. You both see things on such a deep level and the chemisty you both have with eah other is so raw and easy. Your debates have helped me be a better person and better communicate with my girlfriend. Praise and keep up #lifeIsGood...LifeIsGreat.
I just discovered your channel and I think it’s great what your doing spreading knowledge it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. Keep up the great work!
Girl you keep trying to act like you’re the one choosing this and Jared says ok... errr it looks like he is calling the shots, and you are trying to hard to look secure and confident. And if you are, that’s great, it just doesn’t seem like that 😕
I was fine with him till he said that girls shouldn't be surprised when their husbands cheat. That's pretty judgmental for someone who doesn't like to be judged. And it's harsh. Being cheated on shouldn't be expected.
I understood his example differently, a relationship in which the man wanted an open relationship (just about physical contact) but she doesn't. So they agree not to have an open relationship but what HE wants stills matters. So eventually he is going to have relations with someone else bc thats what HE wants, which in this case would be cheating of course (nothing pretty). Regarding the genre, it would be the same woman/man or woman/woman... I dont think he implied the "it's normal for men to cheat" crap, which is really judgmental yea :/ Just sharing my thoughts.
so you're gonna get mad at him for "judging and making generalizations" about monogamous relationships, and then you're gonna judge and make generalizations about people in poly relationships?
because not only are you dealing with jealous...you are also dealing with insecurity....and then on top of that ...maybe past feelings in your childhood....it's diff not for everyone and i have all of the above of what i just said so i couldn't deal...rather be alone
@Solar ' Says who? The feelings of a human , the moral that one has , the pain that one feels when somebody you love dearly cheats on you. Is it fine to hurt others selfishly?
Open is just nasty. And bringing "Marriage" to this foolishness is a joke. I cry for young people as they profess to have a new improved take on the rules of the past. Its a reason why a tradition stood for thousands of years....because they worked. I heard a woman say.."women are cheating science by having kids in their late 30's and 40's....REALLY? Women are cheating their potential kids by waiting late and gambling with their health, and the health of that baby. Its selfish and a sign of the times. We need to get back to Gods plan. Have a better purpose for ourselves in a society that values nothing. Modern men and women will side with anything that allows them the most pleasure and the least amount of accountability for their actions. My prayers go out to this generation. 🙏🏾
@@PassengerFifty7 what’s wrong with having kids later in life? Lol we’re not in the 1940’s. The price of living is wayyy higher and harder to maintain. Being financially stable, emotionally ready, and mature and then having a kid is a better bet for a lot of folks. And if you’re taking care of yourself, at 35 it shouldn’t be a big deal. Especially because folks want to have kids in their early 20’s out of wedlock and alot of the times they’re struggling. They’ll be young grand parents but they missed their youth, and struggled. I think a lot of young ppl today are putting themselves first as they should.
to me, open relationships sound like inventions for people who are afraid to commit fully to the relationship its not right or wrong, just my observation
The thing is she's been hurt before by some douce bag who cheated on her and ended up giving her a STI/STD. So I wasn't surprised this happened. She has tried monogamous relationships in the past but just got hurt. So I guess something new was the next step.
TheLady2luv It's nice for both of them that they found someone willing to take a step in this direction. If this is what they need right now it's a good thing.
I think a key component of what those women on the view didn't understand is that relationships evolve. Relationships evolve because people evolve. A relationship cannot stay the exact same forever because people grow and differ from their former selves.
The thing is that relationships have evolved and that this is a thing of the past. The 3000+ years people have been walking this earth they have figured out that this best relationships to be in are committed relationships.
Shariq Torres That's very true, and I think the variety is healthy. I honestly think these types of relationships are great for some people. Honestly I feel that some of the ruined relationships over cheating would possibly still be thriving if they gave this a shot. It really is like having a best friend and getting jealous when they hang out with someone else. You still manage to stay friends with them, and you don't give them an ultimatum. Imagine if all relationships were monogamous in this respect. the world would seriously SUCK.
Your 'open relationship' is very clearly a coping mechanism to account for your lack of trust; you assume that everyone cheats so at least if you know exactly what your partner is doing, and who they're doing it with, you feel like you finally have a sense of control. An open relationship is exactly the same as being 'friends with benefits', you're just using a sugar-coated term to demand more respect for the decision you've made, as well as to negate as much stigma around it as possible without pretending to be something you're not. You mentioned in at 7:20 if we disagree with your decision it's because we feel threatened by it... That is simply incorrect. I disagree with it because I prefer not to give my body to multiple different people, particularly at the same time, who I'm not in love with. I know true monogamy exists because I am a reflection of it. If you have not experienced it, you can quickly start to lose faith in its existence and give up on the quality of love you once thought existed, because of all the hurt you've experienced, and put up with a type of relationship that will eventually scar you for life. At 6:00 your partner talks about not wanting to miss out on 'experiencing' other people. You can very easily experience other people without making it sexual, as you will know from any strong, empowering platonic relationships you've developed in life. With your mum, with your brother, with your best friend, with your co-worker. It's clear you two like each other, but do not want to commit to only having sex with each other. You want to have sex with other people and that's that.
Aulona Ismaili you are right, the degeneracy of sex is more out of control now a days. This sacred act is now being acted upon a lot like they are animals just so they would have fun and be carefree. The girl deserves anything coming to her with her relationship whenever that is her partner leaving or getting an std.
I actually watched that segment of the view yesterday. Open relationships only last for so long because humans are composed of complex emotions that hinder their ability to make it last. You can try to deny that fact all you want, but at some point, one person wouldn't want the "open" part of the relationship. That's the complexity of humans.
Exactly, and I feel like the desire to be in a monogamous relationship is suppressed to please his/her partner. One can only conceal those feelings for so long lol. It could also be us subconsciously conforming to what society deems "normal" in relationships, but either way, that's how we are wired (excluding cultures that practice polygamy).
A. J. at the same time, that's why they say they'll discuss particular issues when they come along. I think it works for some people for quite a while and not so long for others. it varies depending on the people involved. I think this relationship is also more communication based, whereas it seems commonly in other open relationships ppl are more open to whatever whenever with whomever and their partner can't be upset. I think the communication will help this relationship.
...but they've been monogomous since they've been dating he said?? So theyre just dating like the rest of us! If they were married then i could hear what theyre on about.
A. J. Not just the fact that in some scenarios, one party may no longer desire for the relationship to be open. There's also the fact that monogamous relationships have boundaries. When people get into a relationship and call it an open relationship, they also set their own boundaries/rules on what works for them. My point is that some open relationships are similar to monogamous relationships in the sense that they both have boundaries. Open relationships may be perceived to (or in actual fact) have wider boundaries than monogamous ones, but boundaries are still boundaries. Once someone decides to step out of that boundary of an open relationship, the effect it has is the same (e.g broken trust etc) . Whether open or closed both types of relationships (in my opinion) are equally susceptible to the same types of threats. Therefore by being different or attempting to redefine the boundaries of conventional relationships, there is in actual fact very little difference because as you said humans are complex. A relationship being open isn't necessarily going to make it more or less successful than a closed one (vice versa). In the not so near future, their relationship might be the new convention and there will be other types of relationships pushing beyond those boundaries they have set. I believe boundaries will keep widening in relationships in an effort to create an ideal environment for honesty, trust etc. But as humans, we will keep surpassing those boundaries so there's really no point to any of it in my opinion.
I don't believe in being in an open relationship (for myself) but I do stroooongly believe in freedom. & what I mean by freedom is giving that person the space & room to breathe & be themselves unapologetically. A relationship should never make you feel tied down or smothered. I think a lot of times people feel the need to control the person they're with & that's not love. It also means you don't trust them & if that's the case you shouldn't be with them. People are gonna do what they want. The more you try to control or be possessive over someone, the more likely they are to rebel. Although I don't want to be in an open relationship necessarily I do want to be able to be open w/ my partner & feel free to share anything w/ that person. I really respect you guys & agree w/ a lot of the points you guys made. Love you Shan❤️❤️❤️
SlowClass Kai amen to this! i don't necessarily want my partner to go out and find someone they'd rather have relations with but if that happens i want them to talk to me about it before taking action. i'd just pray that him talking to me about it would make him feel otherwise but if not i have to let him do him but i'd have to go lol
Nikiala Johnson yea a lot of times when people cheat it's because there's something they're not getting from their partner. & they either have tried to express that to their partner & they didn't listen or they were too afraid to express that because they know their partner will get defensive & overreact. You should ALWAYS make you're partner feel like they can come to you about ANYTHING w/ out you going crazy or getting super defensive.
+Nikiala Johnson i think she hovered on it abit. i think it becomes 'cheating' if he goes and fuck someone without being open about it; not having a dialogue where there's mutual understanding, first without proceeding.
You know people.so what's the difference with this type of "open" relationship then? Because I see some people that agreed with this, but then said if they found out the guy slept with someone else and didn't tell them, its cheating. Well..if its an open relationship, why do they have to tell you??? Even SHAN said she would be pissed about it. Why? It's an OPEN relationship. How does one 'sneak around' when its an OPEN relationship??SMH I sincerely hate all these new fangled type of relationships..for ME. Y'all can keep that mess.
SHANNON! Omg, this is one of the best discussions I've watched on relationships. I have yet to be in a relationship, but I am already certain that a more open style is what suites my needs. And it is so refreshing to hear you and your partner talk about your relationship so honestly. I think the reason that a lot of people (women especially) get so uncomfortable about the idea of an open relationship is because we've been hard-wired to expect love and relationships to go one way. That way being: once we're "official", we become, essentially, each other's property and cease to be individuals. So, when someone like you--who is educated, honest with herself and owns her sexuality--proudly owns your right to design your relationships, people get upset because you're challenging everything they've been taught is "correct". And I actually think it causes them to go through a mini identity crisis.
I did not plan to comment on this video. After watching it, I felt compelled to put this out there, and I hope it doesn't come across as coming from a place of ill-intent, but simply as the perspective of an outsider looking in. This is just an observation of what I can see in this video. This comment is exclusively directed at the woman in this video, and comes from a woman who is in love and in what you would refer to as a "closed" relationship; what I know as a "committed" relationship. I saw this video in my suggestions, and have always been curious about open relationships. When entered into with the right intentions and with mutual consent, I believe it can be a very fulfilling and sustainable type of relationship; if that's what works for the people in it. Complete respect for anyone in this type of relationship. If that's what works for both of you, then much respect. I hope you can be open-minded enough to consider what I have to say. You talk about people having understanding for your type of relationship. However, I do not feel that either of you show any type of respect or proper understanding of healthy, fulfilling, committed or "closed" relationships. I find it difficult to understand why you seem to want so much understanding for the type of relationship you see yourselves in, yet seem to have a lack of understanding of the fact that a "closed" relationship can exist without constantly feeling smothered or like you're constantly missing out on something. You two act as is FOMO is a constant component of an exclusive relationship. It's not. It doesn't seem like you take "closed" relationships as seriously as you take "open" ones, which I find pretty hypocritical. I would take your relationship more seriously if you took the time to show that you understand that exclusive relationships can work wonderfully, too. The man in this video gave an analogy that involved a man with up to 50 women "coming at him" (if he's good-looking). "Maybe he can reject 3, 4, 5, 10 women...but what happens when he gets to 50 women?" Then using "deductive reasoning" to explain how the probability of him eventually "touching" one of those women is inevitable, because "biology and statistics and numbers" or any other factors. _Yes_ , if a woman in an exclusive relationship tells her partner he can "look but can't touch," of course that opens the door to flirting or to leading someone on or even to having an affair with the women he's been eyeing down. And guess what? That is not the definition of a truly committed or "closed" relationship. There is also one major thing he's missing from this equation. Not every "good-looking" man is the type of person who would entertain any sort of sexual, emotional or romantic encounter with any woman outside of his relationship, especially not simply due to the sheer _amount_ of women that might be throwing themselves at him, and certainly not due to the level of attractiveness (emotionally or otherwise) of the women that might express interest in him. I'm sure I'm not the only one who watched this video that did not appreciate this gross overgeneralization of exclusive relationships or the stereotyping of "good-looking" men in committed relationships. Not every man with a pretty face feels the need to "explore" his options outside of the beautiful woman sitting right in front of him. I have admiration for open relationships when I can see they are done for the right reasons. I have seen many people speak on this subject, and none of them made me feel the uncomfortable way this video made me feel. This video left me feeling very sad for the woman involved here, and didn't leave a positive impression in my mind about open relationships. I see a woman who is confident, strong, intelligent, and passionate. And also deeply in love with the man sitting across from her. I also see an attractive, charming young man who seems to speak from a place of sincerity. And a man who appears to be actively seeking only his own best interests and desires. I am very sorry if this comment causes any hurt, is not my intent. If I was in your place, I would appreciate someone telling me what they honestly see, from an outside perspective. I wish you all the best, you are a talented and beautiful woman who deserves all of the happiness you can get in this lifetime 💜
I just don’t see the point in being in a Relationship with a gurl or guy if you are not gonna fully commit at it to fulfill each other make each other happy and grow, as a One.. and work for it, in that case be single with benefits (sex, emotional or companionship) ... that’s my Humble opinion.. Working hard at it, making it work. Regardless of small issues. EG: like a marriage ,Bonds people.. Not all people NEED THAT “paper (marriage) or the Tittle “married” But u can’t just simply walk away and move out and say ok it’s over pack some few stuff and say bye!.. vs when u are married & Just living together way diffent commitment .. I Know Fact. Its much easier to walk away , or say it’s over bye or like these folks here. “ ok u found something more Intriguing or better cool bye”.. In a committed relationship u , try many many times like when u married.& really work @it.. Sounds to me people here have some commitment issues... Simply a observation..
The coolest part of this video is that you guys allowed each other to speak. And you didn't jump in to correct one another or try to dominate each other's space...what an amazing level of respect! Relationships are hard enough, let alone turning the spotlight on it. Good on your for standing your ground on The View. You handled it well :)
tbh I think that's true because I saw a vid she did with Ricky Shucks called "once a cheater ..always a cheater?" and her standpoint was that some people can never be monogomous because they have some chemical deficiency in the brain (or something like that) and she concluded with how we should just learn to accept that if you choose to be with such a person >.> plus ofc her dating history hasn't been great as she's been cheated on a lot... I honestly feel sorry that she feels this way ...she basically brainwashed herself to accept shitty relationships because it's all she has ever known :/ she deserves much better
Shannon needs to stop fooling her self, the stuff she's saying I.e "I'm the right partner for you, iv been who I am with you and I'm the person who you can speak to, who you come home too". And she's talking about deal breakers etc I mean all of that is the fundamentals of a 'relationship' ! Yeah she may can control her jealousy levels but her current ideals in this 'so called open relationship' is the same measurements within an actual relationship. It just sounds like there together but not serious about each other, it ain't 'open' un less there both seeing other people sexually, emotionally or just talking to other people with out the need of consulting each other about it. If not, it ain't open, it's a relationship when you hold someone to a standard in your life that you have to ask to see someone else.
In a relationship you should not have to ask to see someone else. It's crazy how as soon as you are in a relationship you have to think twice about a friendship with the opposite sex. You should be able to connect with another human being whether they be male or female and there should be enough trust and communication in the relationship that your significant other does not feel threatened. That is the basis of most open relationships and that is the issue with traditional relationships.
jamgurl112 okay .....so when I said "ask to see someone else" I meant seeing someone else emotionally or sexually whilst in an 'open relationship' as that's not an open relationship it's an actual 'relationship' when it's 'open' you don't have to consult anyone about who you can get with. Relationships period shouldn't dictate upon genuine friendships.
Alex Richie I think you just have a different definition of an open relationship. Not that this represents everyone in an open relationship. But I know a handful of people in open relationships and they all do it this way. Except unlike BOODY most of my friends are actually seeing other people and they are all in their late 20s early 30s. But they talk about everything. and the side-chicks & dicks know that they're side-chicks & dicks (it's kind of weird). I wish relationships didn't dictate friendships but traditional relationships create a barrier (sometimes just out of absent minded respect for you significant) to developing a good friendships with the opposite sex. Only once in my life have I seen a couple that seemed to truly embrace all friendships. As a couple they were just very social and always exploring new friendships. At one point the wife was talking about a male friend and how he's like a brother and how much she loves him (this was all in the context of a conversation) and she met this male friend during her marriage. Just the way they spoke about their friends and the people they've met was beautiful. I haven't met many people that seem to take their friendships as seriously as their romantic relationships. I have a feeling they got there over time (they were in there 60s, I love old people
jamgurl112 I absolutely love this comment and your insight. People need to have an open mind and heart, as well as a different level of understanding to truly get this concept. ❤️❤️❤️
open relationships can be great, but having an open relationship because "well, he's gonna cheat anyways so if i agree to this at least i know it will be coming" aint the way, sis
Did your STD Herpie situation ever get solved? Oh right...It NEVER will because Herpies is the gift that just keeps on giving! Well now that it's August 2022 I hope you have fun with MonkeyPox hahahahaha sloots!
no judgement I respect u guys but my question is so you guys are not doing anything differently than a closed relationship ? the only difference I see is you guys are really scared to commit. but you still only want to be with each other and you're living together and not sleeping with other people...... so it's just a different title...
Lexi G I wouldn't say they are afraid of commitment. it's nice to have some one that you deeply care for and you both vibe together. you can't control what you feel for people when you meet them and some people arent overly attatched to someone i guess they are people who dont like the feeling controlled and dont like controlling others.. some are just different and see love and relationships differently. it doesnt always mean they are going to go have sex with other ppl constantly.
Why can't people have fun sex lives without people saying that they are afraid of commitment?😒 you need to to change your perspective because saying no judgement then having judgement is oxymoronic
Kiara Bruce why is monogamy not considered "fun"? I've been in open relationships and it's really an excuse for someone to have an easy out or an excuse to not commit. commitment is the real test in a relationship sleeping with other people is easy.
Jared, I honestly think that was very responsible of your friend's co-worker. If he knows for sure that he doesn't want children, but she does and that's a deal breaker in both of their minds then he did the right thing. Don't lead someone on when you know you aren't on the same page. The outcome later down the line is much more painful. I'm speaking from experience. You can't be wreckless with other people's emotions and feelings.
Southern Sweet Tee I think he was saying the problem with it is that he never clarified with her exactly what she wanted (whether that be marriage or kids) and broke it off more out of fear that she would want more commitment simply because that's what society has told us was right! I agree never lead someone on and do what you feel is best for you, but don't give up on something or leave something because of the possibility of it going in a specific direction until you clarify what you both want how you want to achieve it and where you want to build
"I'm not the ideal partner for everybody, but I'm ideal for you. But I only know that because I was honest with you about who I am." These sentences are just worth the whole video. Thank you for sharing your story, you guys are an amazing couple.
Not sure if it's because I'm a follower who genuinely wants to see her win and I'm feeling overprotective....but for some reason I don't trust him. I could be wrong. Time will tell. Hopefully I'm wrong.
No I agree I would never down others way of living I was just feeling the same way I feel she's more down for him then her but same here I wish the best. And thats the energy Im seeing not just from body language. I thumbs up the video.
This is basically two people who are afraid of total commitment working together to meet their own needs. I came with an open mind but I'm still convinced that this is a selfish thing. "Let me keep my options open in case something better comes along... but don't worry, I'm still with you."
what part of acting as if your partner belonged to you, as if you were entitled to them in some way, is not selfish? your lack of self-reflection is staggering
@@alexkaapa wait what? No, you aren't entitled to a partner when BOTH people don't want to sleep around.....use your head. You do realize that BOTH parties want to be committed and the other person to be committed as well. That is called a mutually beneficial relationship.
@@TheBakingSlave i don’t know what part of my comment you are replying to, because - as far as i can see - i never made a claim suggesting that what you are saying isn’t true. i merely wanted to point out that monogamy is not inherently less selfish, because you are acting as if you are entitled to the person, as opposed to viewing your partner as a free agent whose time and company you are priviliged to have.
Who am I to judge you!? I know people who are in a "monogamous" relationship & are cheating. To me its like dating. Testing the water. You obviously know who you are & what you want for yourself. ✅
I don’t agree with things she is saying. “You’re not supposed to act when your boss gives favor or your best friend hangs out with someone else” (not exact words but similar). 1. I am not planning on spending the rest of my life with my best friend. 2. I don’t or don’t plan to have kids with those people ever. 3. We are not intimately involved with these people. 4. We don’t share the same household or finances. 5....Should I keep going?
I think it was the principle of the matter. Generally speaking, people want to compete with others. It's how it is human nature. This is with anything. We compete for a job. The point is, whatever you're in competition with, you'll wanna win.
Too many people use the open relationship card as a generalized disclaimer for bad behavior so it is refreshing to see a positive example here. I've personally experienced guys who claim that's the kind of relationship they desire but they hold back and don't create a full connection with me either out of laziness or because they're projecting what's generally acceptable in society onto me without actually asking what are my thoughts. It also often turns out to be a selfishness thing. They can connect with however many women they like but once I make a connection with someone who interests me, there's a problem. Long story short, it's hard out here no matter what kind of relationship you're in! Anyway, I'm glad that the two of you have found each other and are loving each other in exactly the way that you both need to be loved.
CherieMonique the projection thing comes from a lack of respect. Its I am allowed to experience this range of emotion and you are here to be dictated to. Misogyny ruins it. If you dont respect someone you cant respect their autonomy and wants and needs and ignore their right and power to choose
They're in an open relationship but have yet to sleep with other people ...and that's why it's obviously working... for now . I feel that naturally a woman is more attached to their partner and more territorial as well . Once the guy starts sleeping with another girl , that's when she'll start doubting this so called relationship . And worse part is that at the end of the day she'll be the one to loose .
+Melissa Cifuentes you edited your comment like 3 times when the best thing you could have done is delete it. Again, writing based on your insecurities, projection is a dangerous thing. Stop
Shan BOODY i was checking for spelling mistakes . English is not my first language I am from France . If you are so easily offended by people's comments then why do you have this platform . I was just stating my opinion , and I think that I am allowed to being that you have put your business so publicly .
I had actually found you very interesting , and I even subscribed to you . But I guess people that don't agree with you are not welcomed here . And I guess your right based on your reaction . Projection is a dangerous thing . You obviously feel defensive for a reason . Good luck to you.. oh and yes it was edited .
+Melissa Cifuentes you are absolutely allowed to comment just like I'm allowed to make an observation about you...even though you never asked (doesn't feel great when strangers try to generalize you does it). And I put out a lot of unpopular ideas so if you're a traditionalist who's going to choose to judge me rather than using my content to explore yourself then accurate to your point this may not be the channel for you. All the best
Hmm. I find that you never truly approach the points of people that disagree with you. I think that's the best way to be convincing. If your world view is correct then why don't you rebut what people are saying against you more with strong logical arguments rather than dancing around it by talking about the way they commented or talking about how victimized and judged you are.
One thing I learned at church last week, whenever you find yourself judging someone, that is a great opportunity to look in the mirror. I think when people judge your life style there is either someone in themselves (not necessarily related) that they should be focusing on, or there is something about you that is a hot button issue for them...why? Life yo life girl.
I'm in a 'traditional' relationship and I'm happy, I don't need to question it. I respect that you're happy in your situation and didn't agree with the judgement you got on the View. But I'm sorry I think your boyfriend's tone is just as judgemental (not yours). "Don't be surprised if he does touch when you say he can look" "Forbidden fruit is the sweetest" "He's not going to tell you he's getting instagram messages from girls, because you said he can't touch". Not every man is him, and he doesn't know everyone's relationships. Why judge; just let everyone find their own way of being happy.
I agree, i have no judgement over people in open relationships. I also don't agree with proving if monogamy or open relationships work better because that depends on individuals and what they value. BUT her boyfriend saying "don't be surprised...." and suggesting a partner would cheat or "touch" other women based on numbers/biology was a pretty big blanket statement suggesting that every man will cheat or cross boundaries or lie/hide which is the only problem I have with this video. It's hypocritical in tone of this video which is to not make over-reaching generalizations and being open minded towards other people's lifestyles. Like I said, I'm not about proving whether or not open relationships or monogamy is the "best" kind of relationship. People in monogamous relationships have deeply transparent and consistent communication too. It's how we check in with each other too if monogamy, boundaries, and needs/wants are being fulfilled or need to be addressed. And frankly, I'm tired of the generalization that men will always cheat because all people cheat (overstepping the boundaries/rules they've decided for their relationship concerning emotional/sexual intimacy). And people don't cheat or cross boundaries just because of lust or physiological reactions, people cheat because of emotional disconnection with their partner, from traumatic events in their life that they try to heal through sexual/emotional intimacy or not learning to respect boundaries.
"I don't own you, I'm just the best person for you" yes! That's how my relationship is. I have closed myself to other options because I have the best thing for me.
there are so many ignorant people that just don’t understand where you’re coming from. Your minds are so open, i love it. i fully agree with the fact that so many people have “what if” mindsets when it comes to a lot of things and it probably ruins a lot of things that could be really special.
I literally LOOOOOLed at 17:02. So you mean to tell me, you're in a open relationship but if he sneaks around behind your back then it's a deal breaker? He can only be with other women if you know about it first? Someone needs to explain this whole concept to me properly. I'm clearly missing something.
Why pretend as though it's not a foreign concept? You call the relationship open yet there are elements of possession hidden in it. If it's truly open, let him do what he wants with any girl he pleases, without him letting you know. You don't belong to each other right?
+Joe SGBKU it's about respect and preservation of my health. How about this, when you get in a relationship with Jared, you let him do what he wants without consulting or considering you- but for now in our relationship this is what makes sense. It works both ways and it works.. good luck to you
Sweet, and you know what? That totally makes sense. You wouldn't want Jared sneaking around because it would put your health at risk. Right, but if you don't mind me asking: How would you feel about him sneaking around emotionally? Is he allowed to fall in love with somebody else? In this video at 6:28 roughly, Jared is talking about the possibility of another woman or man coming into the relationship. He speaks about the necessary discussion you two would have about how to experience one partner without compromising the relationship with another. Do you really believe this can be achieved? What happens when many partners are involved?
Mrb Drm I truly believe in this. Sometimes fantasies should stay fantasies because some of them harm others and yourself, too. I think they will learn from this sooner or later..
This is random, but this is our relationship. 😊 I talked to a friend of mine and she asked me how often we fight. I told her we never fight, and she was shocked. She said that can't be possible, we must have had a fight before. And I said no. We talk about things, we are open, we discuss, we don't fight. We agree to disagree. She didn't believe me, haha. I trust him, he trust me. I've never checked his phone, I've never opened his mail, I let him go out to party if he wants to, I let him travel, etc. I want him to be himself and I want him to live his life. We don't have an open relationship like you guys, but we do let each other do our thing. I don't want him to feel like he's owned by me, because we can't own each other. We are two different people and we have to respect that. We've found our thing throughout the years and we love our relationship, because it works for us. And I think whatever works for people, that's ok! 😊
The difference between people who support open relationships and the ones who don't is that people who support open relationships don't spread hate over another category of people. Everyone does what they want! My body, my rules!
Shannon you are so open and honest and that's so refreshing! It sounds selfish but also remember to put yourself first. Don't ever let what happens in a relationship make you feel like a "failure" in anything (from what you wrote in your description). I noticed you are a God-fearing person from your other videos so keep that relationship with God strong and invest time in yourself. That way, your feelings about yourself can never be determined by another person (not saying it does now). It's great that you're in a great place :)
***** Remember not to judge others and make assumptions about their lives, like what has been done to Shannon. Different strokes for different folks lol
***** But yes, I'm watching the view interview now and they were really unprofessional at some points and definitely attacking their GUEST and Joy yelling "trouble ahead!!" made me want to tell her some things about her marriage lol
tambanaye not in my opinion , if this was my friend telling me and explaining everything about their open relationship, and I have a comment it's out of love and not some insecurities or flaws tht I have within my self it's me seeing the impending dangers of something tht could be emotionally difficult much later down the line in the future
You know if it works for you, it works for you BUT I would not want an open relationship! I am selfish, I am jealous (yes I am), I have been cheated on, lied to, gotten an STD through my ex and I don't want to let that kind of door open. Either you are with me or you are without me. Plain and simple! However what I would keep from your experience is the openness in the way of communicating whether it's about my man looking at another woman, thinking of another woman or just about other things! I feel like openness can be about sharing more about what you want. I don't know that's my POV🤔
A. J. Nope because came to find out he was double timing me with his girlfriend of 4 years when we were living together after just a few months of dating. All I know is that she is a stripper and he had 5 gf including me and her. So I don't think it would have changed a thing . I don't think having an open relationship is the answer for a cheating person. On top of that, even though I understand that monogamy is a creation of society and not a concept inerrant to our nature, i think i am at my happiest when I can be with someone exclusively. however what I tend to see is a lack of open communication between partners. We only talk when it's good or bad but not when it's ugly! One thing I know for sure is that their relationship is theirs, I ain't have no judgement to pass but it's not for me, at the moment, I am 21, my desires might change. That being said, i will definitely try and implement that openness in communication with my future partners because it's dope
Jacquie Nnyoung I was just kidding lol. It sucks that you had to endure that though. He's a terrible person for that. That's life though, you live and learn. Hopefully you learned to spot a fuckboy from this experience.
rih But it's really not a "relationship" (in the modern sense of the word) if you are having sex with, becoming emotionally involved with multiple people at the same time.
427IndigenousSkies just because their relationship doesn’t fit the standard idea of one, doesn’t mean that it isnt one. it’s a relationship to them and we aren’t in any position to debate the validity of it
@@bunnytime8235 this is the most respectful response anyone has had to non monogamous relationship and it makes me happy because some people are so hateful towards it. Like it makes no sense why people feel the need to attack something because it's not their idea of an relationship
I believe that if a man truly loves a woman and vice versa he/she will be true to him/her and not sleep with anyone else. Loyalty and faithfulness is an important key in a successful/ long lasting relationship. No one should have to say "No , youre not suppose to like anyone else! Only me!" If someone loves you they'll know that you're enough for them and they wont have to go looking elsewhere to fill their hearts desires. More than anything, if my man went with another woman, I would feel betrayed. It would prove that he doesnt feel I am enough. And I am pretty sure that no matter what you try and tell yourself about it being fine, that feeling of betrayal will be in there, somewhere deep down... Unfortunately this kind of relationship likely won't last... because it DOES hurt. Also keep in mind that youre giving your man permission to have sex with other women and therefor he could perhaps get another woman pregnant. birth control is not 100%. There is a lot of hardship that could follow with that.
Wow, very well explained! I totally agree with you!! For that reason I don't think I would never settle for anything less than a purely monogamous relationship.
I literally LOVE how you can feel their connection through the screen. 💯 The way they communicate and LISTEN to one another. They LOOK at each other in the eyes when each of them is talking. HOW they talk...its so real and genuine! Its amazing fr. We need more relationships like this opened or closed. 💯 Doesnt even matter. They are the perfect example of what every relationship should be like... 💯 Not in the sense that everyone should be in an open relationship but in the sense that this is how people should carry themselves when if comes to communication in a realationship whether it's opened or closed. Truly amazing you guys 😌 and this is coming from a 17 year old. I know Im young but trust me...I get it. 💯
yes! i just saw there video. and since English is also not my first language i was trying to find the best way to say ; without being too deep or beating around the bush; that they are both so good for each other ( like they said at this moment) and gorgeaus! you can feel their love! its so beautiful!!!! you guys are awesome.
I commend you for being so open about this topic :) I was having a discussion with my girlfriend about my experience in open relationships and this video popped in our recommended watch list on youtube :) I've grown to realise that it's not my job to convince people that my life choices are ok. Some people don't want to understand and that's ok, as long as I'm happy. Thank you so much, Shan xxx
To my understanding it's not a traditional open relationship that is being described here. I feel like this is two level headed people that has OPEN COMMUNICATION! I did not here that either one of them will be content with sexual relationships with other people, more so that they respect each other feelings and not pressure one another to act one one or another and of that feeling cant be controlled it will be talked about. If an understanding can be made than there considerations maybe reevaluated.
getting out of THAT closed contractual relationship was hell lol. I've been flying ever since and maybe it's a coincidence maybe not but with my new agency UTA there is no contract I am free to go but happy to stay with them
I can tell that 20 years down the line people are gonna be referring to you as the og of this field. thank you for fighting for your voice and taking a beating of judgments. ur the best front liner someone could have.
Norah Seide that doesn't mean anything honey. He or she can secretly decide to still be open which is disgusting. Just be single or just a once in while thing. Now open? really? stupid.
What's the point of being in a open relationship.. i mean i just don't get it; you guys see other people and have sex with other people what is a relationship about that.. minds well just be fuck buddies lol PS: im not judging you or anyone else with O.R's i just dont get the point of calling it a relationship.
Simplicity Logan it seems like you're not focusing on the fact that there is so much more to a relationship than sex. These two obviously want to to come home to each other at the end of the day. Having sex with other ppl is just one small aspect of their situation.
Simplicity Logan I think it would be the level of commitment and their feelings toward each other. Me, personally, I have a friend that I deeply care about to the point where the connection is deeper than fuck buddies. So I wouldn't say we're in a relationship, we're definitely more than friends though. My point being, labels mean different things to different people. For them, their open relationship might mean a deeper connection (which Shannon stated in the beginning of the video). 😉
R "Come home to each other" And you can do all that with a fuckbuddy or anybody when you're SINGLE as well. Clearly there is no difference with being single and in an open relationship.
Turan X Who goes home to their fuckbuddy though? If they have an understanding that they are indeed in a relationship, who are you to try and discredit the validity of that relationship?
R Yes, THEY have an understanding of a relationship, while I clearly point out that anything that can be done in an open relationship, can also be done when you're single. Plenty of people out there that say ''Yeah, we're more than friends, so we chill and fuck around and enjoy each other's company'' about their sidepieces and those that stay at each others home from time to time or all the time. So they're doing the exact same shit as someone in an open relationship. The fact that you can't see this just shows how inexperienced you are.
I was in a friends with benefits relationship for almost 8 years and no one understood why I wasnt out finding a "real man". I was so happy and at peace in that relationship. There was no pressure and no stress. I feel like as long as you are honest with each other about what you want and expect, it will work out just fine. It was less stressful than any other relationships (including engagements) I had ever been in. Love you shan! You're the realest of the real!
KissMyCreative same but mine was for a year was more like a friends with benefit but in a way open since he had other people he was with and I had someone else. It we where honest about it it worked reason we stopped was cause he got one girl pregnant and I felt I had no right to get in the way of that where still friends just not relationship wise
FLUFFY4891 that's crazy...my situation was the same. it was a pregnancy thing. Sigh... lol. I don't regret any of it though. and we're also still friends
Rose Lavi It's so interesting that u look at it as the man getting everything "free & easy" and the woman getting nothing in the end. It's almost as if you automatically view it as him wanting nothing but ass, and me wanting more. Its also interesting that you would assume that's all it was just because there was no title associated with our connection. Hmm...Conversation is a great thing isn't it? I love learning about how others view things. It's fascinating. To each their own, girl. I don't regret it at all, it was an amazing 8 yrs full of growth and memories, and I still have a friend in the end. if you see fault in that, I can't judge you. we're all different and we all find happiness in different ways. I think what Shan said at 7:15 in the video is so true to how I feel. And no one has to agree...that's the great thing about humans. we're allowed to be different :)
Rose Lavi but it could be the same for the women it was some guys i viewed as just sex nothing else I did not want a relationship never will they chased me i even had to change my number so you can't Always say it's the woman with a soul tie left sometimes it's the man
Rose Lavi Im not sure I understand. Where in my initial comment did you get the idea that he got all I had to offer him which was ass, and I was left with nothing but soul ties? It sounds like you've created a whole new situation outside of what I've actually lived lol. Also makes me wonder if that is how you view women in general...only having ass to offer. Hopefully that's not your view. Women are sooo so much more than that. I think we should just agree to disagree. ☺
No matter how many types of relationships exist and are attempted, the traditional monogamous relationship is still the bedrock of society, the most stable and most successful arrangement in the entire world. Even in polygamous societies, most women, rather be in a monogamous. But open relationships for new young couples have an extremely high failure rate, and are usually most successful with committed (married) couples that have been together for years. You should have broke this video down into 2 or 3 shorter segments. Nice channel.
+streetgangs 50% of monogamous marriages last. Of the 50 there are anywhere from 10-15% who stay together legally but no longer consider themselves a couple. Of that remaining 30%, 10% of couples consider themselves unhappy most of the time. Do you guys not consider that I spend my life studying this and maybe, just maybe this isn't a decision made bc I'm an insecure millennial but because I understand people and myself. I hope the same for you and that you no longer feel licensed to tell ppl what works best based on what makes you comfortable
The divorce rate in the US has been dropping, but the US is a bad example to use because it is among the top 10 divorced countries in the world. But also of those 50 percent you mentioned, you did not add the success rate of their second marriage, so if you measure the happiness of those added with the others, and then examine it globally, its pretty difficult to argue the success & stability of the institution of marriage with monogamy as the goal world-wide. But I am all for trying new things, i.e. polyamory, swinging, polygamy, etc. but most of the social science research on these these types of relationships point to the natural human trait of jealously and no matter how one try's to fight it, biologically it is extremely difficult to sustain that for multiple years. I look forward to your next video. Good luck and much success.
Shan BOODY your real with who you want to be and how you want to live your life people are so accustomed of seeing Fakeness so that's why some just cannot comprehend
I need to know where you get your stats from! Of all the keynotes, books and podcasts I ingest I've always heard that second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than the first. Here is the general stats: In the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce -Psychology Today I don't think these numbers should define or sway your choices by any means but I do think if you are someone, like myself who naturally questions monogamous/ traditional relationships, it can serve as a reminder that you're not crazy or abnormal for exploring different routes. oxo
I didn't watch your View segment but people only understand what they want to. As open minded as anyone may claim to be we often internalize others lifestyles through our own beliefs, so good for you, I believe you're happy if you say you are and he's really cute so go 'head girl. Being in your head definitely causes more damage than actual betrayals and hurt in a relationship.
I listened to your words and your partners and I actually shared this with my daughter who is in her 2nd year of college. I feel like these are the things I try to tell her about dating and dealing with negative people. When I say to her that she is too young to settle I don't mean it in an old school way I mean she is too young to restrict herself from loving who she wants and experiencing love the way she wants. Keep doing you Shan, and stay confident in your decisions. Because a lot of Gen X and older women struggle with anything out of the box because they have lived their entire life living for others. The older I get and the more I experience I value it all as lessons learned but I never stop being me. I just adjust and keep moving. I have done the people pleasing and it just doesn't work. Young woman need to have these conversations and need to know its OK to have them. Be blessed. I love your channel and your openness.
Honest question: "Since in traditional relationships, having a sex with other people is cheating, what is considered cheating in open relationships? P.s The double edged sword with telling about your relationship as an example of another option, is that it makes it a role model for the success of all open relationships.
I think it would go back to what Shannon said her dealbreaker would be: her partner not communicating feelings to her for someone else and her finding out via some other third party (his phone, someone else, etc)
Joanna McCray yup!!! the whole point she was making on the view was that communication is the main key, even in monogamous relationships. unfortunately the hosts ran with the open relationship part.
I think we were not meant to see how each other lives, meaning social media and content being readily available. So I feel that depending on your upbringing and generation when you hear certain words like mentioned in the video there is a negative connotation to saying open. I believe that we do not have a soul mate and that we are capable of falling in love with more than one person. Open relationships may fit me, I think you have to know what’s right for you and interrelationship communication is the way to figure it out. I think what you guys are doing is great and as long as it fits for you, that is all that matters. I appreciate you constantly sharing your views on large platforms because the conversation should be had, instead of being taboo.
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” ― Osho
Honestly, y'all explained it perfectly well to me. I've never been in an open relationship and don't think I'd try it BUT who am I to judge and try and tell y'all how to live. Lol y'all look happy and nobody seems to be compromised so do what y'all do and be happy 😊😊 I'm here for all true happiness #MightAsWellSmile
Shan BOODY wait I'm so glad you responded I'm not trying to fight I'm trying to understand .. you guys aren't in a "open" relationship your more in a trusting relationship? And I know you said this hasn't happened yet but what if you fall in love with someone else but your boo is falling for you? Your currently in a best friend relationship with benefits? It looks like you guys just don't like the title "bf/gf" and would rather try "options" so when the time comes you are 99% sure who you want to be with before saying i do for life
the point is I don't own him. I partner with him and vice versa. I don't need to prove that I love him by disallowing relationships with others that can help me grown and ultimately us grow closer. It's no different, to your point, than having a best friend who has other friends - yes you are at risk of them liking another friend more but somehow you deal and manage your anxiety because you recognize that it's healthy not to own the rights to your friends and their experiences. Same thing here
Shan BOODY so from your statement now and what I saw, it's a little misleading your using 2 different words to back up your relations "open relationship" and "owning a person" When I think you mean "open communication" and "respect for each other" Now I understand there are some people out there who believe that the person their with is "theirs" and that's called slavery. But relationships were meant for building each other up in their own individuality... so if there person your with is not doing that then it's not the right relationship. But How is it helping you grow closer to him if your also growing closer to someone else? Where is the commitment to each other? How far is too far?
The same way I become a better friend by allowing myself to connect with others. It's not a hard concept and I apologize for being brief but I am sure if we were in person I wouldn't mind explaining. The obvious applies here, competition is good. freedom is good. security is attractive. commitment has so so so much more to do than who you flirt/ kiss etc.. it's a small part of it that becomes a MASSIVE bump in many relationships bc ppl refuse to put their pride aside and be honest.
I don't get angry or disgusted by your open relationship and I'm a serial monogamous (mainly because I'm super insecure and emotionally/mentally unstable lol) but I'm so happy that you found something that works for you.
Slightly Leen shoooot let me slid in the DM Jk Jk no all jokes aside this video just really made me think a lot I probably would enjoy having a relationship like this because once again it's based on communication letting your partner no like hey I might have a interest in someone and I'm just letting you know so they're for your not left in the dark but then there's the sucky part the emotional connection the humanity part that little spark of jealousy so I was just interested in WHAT Shan & jerrad two completely different people feel about there relationship 🤔🤔🤔
Honestly this is beautiful and I’m glad the world is finally moved on enough that people like this can speak up and talk about different lifestyles. This inspired me to be more trusting and loving in my own relationship.
The thought of having an open relationship with my s/o I think I'd die. You seem happy but I know I wouldn't be happy. My mindset is i am his and he is mine. Jealousy is hard to ignore. My jealousy can only be contained when he's talking to another attractive girl or hanging out with her but knowing that he's having intimate relations with someone else ESPECIALLY an attractive girl I couldn't.
they call us insecure for having a problem with their relationship and the truth is, we are insecure. the idea of a relationship like theirs wold naturally make anyone feel insecure. because it's not normal. human beings aren't meant to be in open relationships. we like exclusivity and we are jealous. it's normal to be jealous in healthy amounts. but I can tell that this girl is very insecure. so insecure that she is willing to accept a man who will never fully commit. she wants to seem easy going and laid back so that he will like her. he is an asshole and has found a woman who is insecure enough to put up with his behaviour
First of all, you both are absolutely beautiful. I am 100% down for open relationships. I've felt that way for around 10+ years but, the men and women I've had relationships with were never on the same page as I. As I watched this video, I find that you two communicate so beautifully and with such respect for each other. I wish that others would just respect diversity in relationship styles and simply mind their own fucking business. Much love and respect from San Jose, Cali 💗💗
you know afterwards Joy pulled me aside and said some very wonderful things. It's their job to shake things up, it wasn't expected but in a way it was kind of cool to have a healthy debate
Ann Amg The characters that are hosting these types of shows are whatever/whoever the system (of societal engineering) needs them to be. They work for this system . . . The system is their employer . . . The hand that feeds them; These types of people are diligent gatekeepers. They compromise themselves for a "certain lifestyle" of media attention & fame. Thus, the collective attack of someone who dares to be individual and speak their truth.
"I am not afraid of competing with other women.I don't own you,I am just the best person for you."........confidence that most men, and women need not only for their relationships, but for their professions. Blew me away. "I would like a world in which we stop thinking about what is normal, and think about what actually suits us" another one I loved. I am collecting quotes here....
Love to so many of you for your respect, curiosity and for using this video the right way - to understand YOURSELF better. Some of you however truly amaze me with your arrogance and gull. The reason I only do one on one counseling and would NEVER dish out "expert" advice based on an email or singular glance into someone's life because there is 0 possible way I would have the skills and insight to make an assessment on something so personal and important to someone without at least one hour of unfiltered discussion. Wherever you studied, go back there and pick those books back up. You are far from ready to be giving out diagnosis. Just a friendly reminder I am not asking you to comment on me, I know myself so your rules will not work for me. I DO HOWEVER ask questions in the poll and in the info box of the video, if you feel like you want to type something It would do you good to refer there please
Shan BOODY I'm not understanding the complete concept of an "Open Relationship" I guess, we'd have to define what it means to have a relationship with someone...is the human make up spirit, soul (mind/will/emotion/) & body. What is the definition of relationship? Is that case sensitive? If that's so, how much of ourselves do we commit to an "open relationship?" It's about commitment spirit, soul, & body. Do we not give that to or lover? Does true love not give us the freedom to be & become? Doesn't love & the actions it represents give birth to the finest parts of life? Love & relationship is sacrifice, right? I just feel like you or "we'll" miss out of the deepest points of love, if we handle it loose handedly...I've studied love & the functionality of human relations and I'm completely confused. Honestly, I feel you both are missing out on something greater. Love is liberating! When one commits every part of his or her being to someone, it liberates them!! It births gratitude in them!! I mean, a man or Woman who would love you until the point of death! Give you their inside parts, if it meant you'd live forever...to know someone would reject their last heartbeat to be with you & to understand that every breathing moment they have they'll live it completely given to you?!? That's overwhelming...there's a comfort in that type of love! It isn't to say you will not grow because love always grows! It always supports! Jeeesh...there's more!! Not judgement passed. There has to be absolutes. There has to be concreteness...I've been in love so locked & sure that no amount of "pretty" or intellectual conversation would do well for me...no other woman but her own...her body, her legs, her eyes...her spirit, soul, & body were All I needed or wanted...and within that concrete place, I found Release & growth! Inspiration & desire. It's not an external act "as far as interacting with males as a you-tuber, must people understand the dynamics of a work place situation and dealing with the company of the opposite sex. I can think you're attractive & not love you or want a relationship with you on any level. love is also sacrifice, it's faithfulness within every part of your being yet it isn't duty! When you love someone, you'd want to give yourself to them holistically. More than anything it saddens me;nevertheless, I'll respect others as humans. I just know there's more to be had but it's something you have to understand to experience & experience to understand & that starts with each individual alone outside of any type of relationship...that's called "self-worth & truly knowing the breakdown & dynamics of our needs as humans. Peace & love though...
hey shannon ! idk if you know Adina rivers ( my tiny secrets) ,but it would be great to see both of you collab. She's in an open relationship and has similar interest ,as well. You should deff check her out!!!
Shan BOODY I did see The View episode and I want to commend you for standing up for yourself and for your relationship. The term I heard, more than once, was "traditional values" and that to me that was their "disclaimer" to condone their intolerance, ignorance, and their sheer defiance to understand humanity. Please don't stop doing what it is you're doing! You bring a breath of fresh air and it is invigorating to hear your take on love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. People who question the pursuit of one's happiness has a lot of issues in their own that needs special attention. Don't let their inability to broaden their own horizon give you cause to feel anything less then or hurt you in any way. Stay the course because you are changing lives! I got your message "communication is key" and I agree with you 100%. To define your relationship or my relationship is dick move and to define my life according to your rules is asinine! I am lesbian woman, married to a beautiful woman, and we live a life that we created for ourselves that works perfectly for us. You are challenging the "traditional values" and for most people that's an implausible concept to wrap their small minded heads around. Live assured that you're education, understanding of human interaction, and life experiences puts you leagues above all of the haters. Thanks, and keep up the excellent work! And please, don't be shy to bluntly tell people educate themselves! It only takes the willingness to learn to gain knowledge. Listening is a key component of effective communication.
My Opinion on an open relationship - i don't get it. So if there is no rules but I have to relay OPENLY all that would bother me or get permission to see home girl or home boy that doesn't make a relationship open, it's like walking on egg shells. You might as well be single and not put a title to it. This actually would cause a lot of hostility or self esteem issues because now I have to be comparing myself to the girl he took out the night before. And a lot of you would say "well that's where you have to be confident in yourself". That's a lot of emotional work for a person 👎🏽. Sorry but to me you guys live with each other to help pay each other's rent.
Emily Peralta do not apply your insecurities and short comings onto others. I do not share your feelings of self doubt or personal financial concerns. We are very different people, you are welcome to speak for yourself but don't bleed those minimizing thoughts onto me
Shan BOODY I think I said it was MY OPINION, none of what I said was thrust upon to influence others. TO ME it just doesn't make sense. And no insecurities here just God made Adam and Eve not ADAM EVE CYNTHIA STEPHANIE PRICILLA AND JOANNA. OR EVE ADAM JOE BILL BOB BILLARD AND HAROLD. 👌🏽 disclaimer that again is my belief and if you didn't want people adding their honest opinion you shouldn't have made this section public open to conversation. Thanks
If you really can't see where you took your comment from personal opinion into the land of misinformed projecting and assuming - then again, please note we have little in common and you should refrain from assuming about my personal or financial needs. You're welcome :)
Listen if you were so confident as you say you are or tell others to be, why should my comment have any affect on you lol I don't know you 👌🏽 social media is not a real place and yet you allow a person that you will probably never encounter to judge your life so easily you really need to evaluate your theories. Live what you preach ✌🏽️
I enjoy your type. When you have no defense the best approach in your mind isn't to retract but to attack me for even taking on your bullshit in the first place. Cool ;) carry on
Why call it an "open relationship"? How they both define their relationship, does not match the meaning of an open relationship. They just have a healthy relationship, not an open one.
Exactly. That’s why I speculate it could be an actual open relationship on his end - being intimate with others in secret but feeling no guilt or need to disclose it to his partner bc he already got the free pass by labeling it as “open”. He seems very fake woke to me. Of course I don’t know these people but it doesn’t add up.
I totally understand this and your choices are your own. But personally, there is not a chance I cud let my girlfriend talk to other guys and do stuff like that. A relationship to me is just 2 people, willing to grow with each other and eventually love each other. I just don't get how people do it like you two.
kevin khungay Shannon and her man HAVE chosen to grow together. The only difference is they've made a conscious decision to realize that we are all individuals belonging to only ourselves and if at any point another person happens upon their life and intrigues them then they have the right to explore that. Like they said, they don't know what will happen in the future but right now they aren't worrying themselves with that. Living presently works for them.
Kevin Khungay, You are blessed and you have discernment. Stay the way you are and your blessings will come. You will see in time what I mean and she will see in time that this guy is not that into her and he doesn't love himself nor her. He has a lot to learn. No offense this open relationship maybe what they need to learn why it isn't good for the spirit to be pulled multiple directions especially in this day and age. Not judging these people though. I just see the obvious and it's not even worth them making a video to convince others because they don't know what their doing. Why don't they just get a couple of healthy hobbies and juggle constructive hobbies instead of other people? Smart man Mr. Khungay.
"Stop picking up shit that's not yours. Stop picking up problems, stop picking up stress, stop picking up worries, stop picking up anything that's not yours to carry." Ugh, I needed to hear this. Such good advice.
So many assumptions about "non open relationships" rather than just talking about your open relationship. A little too judgemental for such an open minded non-couple.
I did an open relationship for two years. I asked for the open relationship. It was the best decision for me. I loved that he didn’t try to box me in. We are married now.
Did you ever experience jealousy? Or were you ever scared about losing your partner to someone else? But congratulations to the both of you 😊 I'm just trying to learn the why's of open relationships
"stop carrying things that aren't yours" I loved that. Thank y'all for this video, I loved hearing y'all speak your truth. I hope to have a relationship with such great communication and honesty one day.
please yall live for the Tyrone you can't keep. You want a man who can walk away from you and his life improves. It's 60% of the reason for hoe phases today, she couldn't keep Tyrone.
I watched this all the way through and I just want to say that you guys seem to have such a genuine, authentic relationship. Regardless of how others perceive you guys, you seem to have a loving relationship that fulfills both of you.
When this "relationship," faces the REAL TEST of someone actually stepping in and becoming a threat or a level of interest in shown and that it's discussed between the both of you and you two make it past that...can you please make a follow up video. I would love to see how you guys got through that one. Otherwise, this is just talk 💅🏾
"Open relationships" are strange. It's definitely non traditional. Absolutely a foreign concept. It completely throws the idea of faithfulness and commitment away. I don't agree with the ideology but I'm not going to knock you for it. I'm not married yet, heck I'm not even in a relationship but my eyes are fixed on the prize. You don't look at Gold bars when you've been given a diamond. Just my opinion. If I enter in a relationship it's because I feel she's that diamond. I have to be extremely critical on the dudes perspective on justifying an open relationship on the basis of adultery. I get an open relationship simply means the OPTION is there but I respect and love too much to have time for anyone else. Definitely not judging y'all. You folks are articulate and cool. We're allowed to disagree.
Yes I think you allow to disagree without judging and I didn't think you did. Open relationship is not for everyone just like a close marriage is not for everyone. To me as long ad they happy doing it and it is not something that's been forced I'm happy for them. I feel love between them.
I absolutely love the flow in conversation you all have. It's great to see such kindred spirits. Ya'll are bomb and I love your outlook of love. I wish you love and will definitely be watching your channel more. I haven't been on in a while. Love you girl!
Lol...It's all kind of craziness going on in these times. My question is how do you deal with STDs and pregnancies??? Hmmm....I'm greedy, I don't like to share, so this won't work for me. I'll be wondering all the time who he's with. Your guy must be so happy..getting his cake, eating it too...and then some.
they are in an open relationship but it doesnt mean that they are out here sleeping with any and everyone. They are just leaving room for other connections that may or may not happen...
Open relationships actually make perfect sense. In closed relationships you put constraints and borders on someone and tell them they can only be with you. Which raises the want for others since that person KNOWS they can't have them or do anything with them. BUT if you allow leeway for desire that person will satisfy their wants or fantasies and sooner or later realize what they really want. It's all internal really..... Shout out to Shan
@@nicoleharrington9086 Well looking at this comment again, 6 years later lol, don't really agree with myself anymore. I DO NOT think open relationships "make perfect sense". No form of relationship does, it's subjective and mostly culturally influenced. That being said, I don't see how the old comment implies "promoting promiscuity". It's just dating.
I love you all dearly. Differently but dearly! Make sure to do the poll above. The new channel is not as ready as I hoped but it has one video up & you can subscribe (please). I also left personal discussion questions in the info box. If you have any followup questions for myself and Jared let me know! As we do represent an unconventional relationship I respect your right to clarification. Be great today
Shan BOODY just recently me and this guy that I've been off and on with decided to get more serious. It was absolutely amazing and I really felt like we were growing but all of a sudden things just kinda stopped. No calls no texts nothing. What do I do? Like do I call this dude up and call him out? Sorry but like for some reason this vid reminded me of this. Thanks so much for everything you do and I love all your vids.
Shan I absolutely love you. You make me feel celebrated! You make me feel like the boundaries of society right now is bullshit! You can love openly and it doesn't have to be jealousy or manipulative. It can be just innocent and happy ☺️
Shan BOODY it was so frustrating watching you try to explain "open relationship" on the view. it went right over their heads, wish you could have corrected them ..bcz they kept misconstruing what you were saying and repeating it
It seems like open relationships exist in opposition to monogamy, which seems ill-intended. Y’all talk about the fact that it works BECAUSE of certain things that don’t work in monogamy. There are so many issues in any relationship, open or closed, so stop comparing to open relationships as being “liberating” because closed relationships are somehow all “suffocating” or “possessive”. No, unhealthy closed relationships are, but that’s not what people in a closed relationship strive for.
As someone who does open relationships/polyamory, seeing your representation of this, especially as a black couple is so SO SO empowering to me. There's so much stigma around non traditional relationships and it manifests itself in a uniquely difficult way in the black community because of the narrow contexts in which we/ we feel obligated to live. Seeing you declare your freedom to love in a way that feels good to you fills my heart with such joy. The resistance to open relationships comes from the idea that monogamy guarantees happiness and it doesn't. %50 of marriages fail. So it's not the monogamy that's the magic. It's whichever people find people that they are compatible with and do the work to stay together. Be it in marriage, long-term-non-marital, open or traditional. Whatever the case may be. We feel that if we follow all of the instructions and solve the equations properly, then we'll all end up with the perfect solution. Life doesn't work that way. At some point, you have to put down your guns. Fight with your fists and get willing to get INVOLVED and dirty in your own life. Be willing to take risks and explore. Be vulnerable. Thank you so much for sharing, Shannon (and Jared:). Shan, you're awesome. Ilysm and I'm so proud of you and I'm excited to see more great things from you. You are truly a leader because you lead by example, not instruction.
I have never been in an open relationship, but I pride myself on being nonjudgmental, so I understood where the both of you were coming from. I'm happy for you guys! Love is love. If that kiss at the end doesn't tell you that these two love each other, and what they have works for them, then something within you needs to be reevaluated.
To each it's own. Respectfully, I agree to disagree. If I'm not the primary only, then a relationship is irrelevant. Personally, "Open" equals not trusting each other. Appears to be lack of discipline to commit. Gives permission to be subliminally secondary at anytime. If I'm claimed and it's mutual, I don't want to share. However, (if discovered later) if one person is not enough, then that person is free to explore........without me.
I am so happy that u are living your life authentically. Don't let these haters stop u for being you. Also, you guys are doing what works for you in your relationship. I love the honesty in this conversation. I just wanted to leave a comment and give you good vibes. Keep doing you boo.
I'm all for this but let's be honest, how is this an open relationship? Neither of you have been with anyone else. Furthermore the guy said you'll deal with those issues when you get to them... So 10 years time one of you finally has sex with someone else then you realise you weren't ok with it deep down? Maybe I misunderstood the video but that seems like an accident waiting to happen. You have to talk about EVERYTHING upfront so you don't get into a shitty situation. I'm not saying you should worry about it. But if you fail to plan you plan to fail.
For you guys I think the simplest way to say "open relationship" means "open shameless communication" in that case, every relationship should be open. *drops mic* 😎 keep spreading knowledge 🙌🏾 #skyysquad
So I'm engaged now. WATCH THIS VIDEO TO FIND OUT TO WHO!!! ruclips.net/video/nU42WiyL-dU/видео.html
I love this video
Your way of looking at life is very eye opening and deep. You both see things on such a deep level and the chemisty you both have with eah other is so raw and easy. Your debates have helped me be a better person and better communicate with my girlfriend. Praise and keep up #lifeIsGood...LifeIsGreat.
I love how you guys talk
I just discovered your channel and I think it’s great what your doing spreading knowledge it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. Keep up the great work!
Girl you keep trying to act like you’re the one choosing this and Jared says ok... errr it looks like he is calling the shots, and you are trying to hard to look secure and confident. And if you are, that’s great, it just doesn’t seem like that 😕
I was fine with him till he said that girls shouldn't be surprised when their husbands cheat. That's pretty judgmental for someone who doesn't like to be judged. And it's harsh. Being cheated on shouldn't be expected.
Sasha Hills exactly. This whole "poly/ open" thing are excuses for not committing.
Yeah he lost me once he started that tangent
I understood his example differently, a relationship in which the man wanted an open relationship (just about physical contact) but she doesn't. So they agree not to have an open relationship but what HE wants stills matters. So eventually he is going to have relations with someone else bc thats what HE wants, which in this case would be cheating of course (nothing pretty). Regarding the genre, it would be the same woman/man or woman/woman... I dont think he implied the "it's normal for men to cheat" crap, which is really judgmental yea :/ Just sharing my thoughts.
Sasha Hills no he won't hesitate clearly grimy and weak and is enjoying his freedom he probably will never settle down and be decent
so you're gonna get mad at him for "judging and making generalizations" about monogamous relationships, and then you're gonna judge and make generalizations about people in poly relationships?
Jealousy is a very strong emotion, and for that reason, I could never have an open relationship.
Soleil Exactly.
If my partner suggests an open relationship I'd think she's not jealous enough and therefore she probably doesn't care THAT much. Issa break up
because not only are you dealing with jealous...you are also dealing with insecurity....and then on top of that ...maybe past feelings in your childhood....it's diff not for everyone and i have all of the above of what i just said so i couldn't deal...rather be alone
Same
@@lennyp4736 agreed
If both want open relationship that's fine but cheating on someone who doesn't want it is very disrespectful and rude and should not be done
If my husband cheats, I hope you like spicy food! You're getting it! 😠
@Solar ' Says who? The feelings of a human , the moral that one has , the pain that one feels when somebody you love dearly cheats on you. Is it fine to hurt others selfishly?
Both are nasty.....fucking with different person....i think this guy is gay....he like both men and women
Open is just nasty. And bringing "Marriage" to this foolishness is a joke. I cry for young people as they profess to have a new improved take on the rules of the past. Its a reason why a tradition stood for thousands of years....because they worked. I heard a woman say.."women are cheating science by having kids in their late 30's and 40's....REALLY? Women are cheating their potential kids by waiting late and gambling with their health, and the health of that baby. Its selfish and a sign of the times. We need to get back to Gods plan. Have a better purpose for ourselves in a society that values nothing. Modern men and women will side with anything that allows them the most pleasure and the least amount of accountability for their actions. My prayers go out to this generation. 🙏🏾
@@PassengerFifty7 what’s wrong with having kids later in life? Lol we’re not in the 1940’s. The price of living is wayyy higher and harder to maintain. Being financially stable, emotionally ready, and mature and then having a kid is a better bet for a lot of folks. And if you’re taking care of yourself, at 35 it shouldn’t be a big deal. Especially because folks want to have kids in their early 20’s out of wedlock and alot of the times they’re struggling. They’ll be young grand parents but they missed their youth, and struggled. I think a lot of young ppl today are putting themselves first as they should.
Oh this is how you got chlamydia 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
to me, open relationships sound like inventions for people who are afraid to commit fully to the relationship
its not right or wrong, just my observation
zinowor did you watch the video?
im Dodo yes
i made my comment before i watched the whole video, but i still support my comment
The thing is she's been hurt before by some douce bag who cheated on her and ended up giving her a STI/STD. So I wasn't surprised this happened. She has tried monogamous relationships in the past but just got hurt. So I guess something new was the next step.
TheLady2luv It's nice for both of them that they found someone willing to take a step in this direction. If this is what they need right now it's a good thing.
I much rather be single or in a monogamous relationship. I don't understand what makes an open relationship different from being single.
It's a level of commitment to one another without imposing limitations on the other.
Valerie Titus-Glover But what are you committing to exactly if both of you are free to explore other options?
searphhoney Does a relationship to you only mean sex?
In an open relationship you have a romantic relationship with one or more people. Being single means you have no romantic relationships. Simple.
Menah Leigh To me being single doesn't equal not romantic. It just means I'm not committed & I don't expect nor want certain things.
I think a key component of what those women on the view didn't understand is that relationships evolve. Relationships evolve because people evolve. A relationship cannot stay the exact same forever because people grow and differ from their former selves.
*The View
yes, I could tell that they were not factoring that the relationship would evolve.
The thing is that relationships have evolved and that this is a thing of the past. The 3000+ years people have been walking this earth they have figured out that this best relationships to be in are committed relationships.
Shariq Torres That's very true, and I think the variety is healthy. I honestly think these types of relationships are great for some people. Honestly I feel that some of the ruined relationships over cheating would possibly still be thriving if they gave this a shot. It really is like having a best friend and getting jealous when they hang out with someone else. You still manage to stay friends with them, and you don't give them an ultimatum. Imagine if all relationships were monogamous in this respect. the world would seriously SUCK.
Alex Daughtry does she smoke crack?? Seriously curious
Your 'open relationship' is very clearly a coping mechanism to account for your lack of trust; you assume that everyone cheats so at least if you know exactly what your partner is doing, and who they're doing it with, you feel like you finally have a sense of control. An open relationship is exactly the same as being 'friends with benefits', you're just using a sugar-coated term to demand more respect for the decision you've made, as well as to negate as much stigma around it as possible without pretending to be something you're not. You mentioned in at 7:20 if we disagree with your decision it's because we feel threatened by it... That is simply incorrect. I disagree with it because I prefer not to give my body to multiple different people, particularly at the same time, who I'm not in love with. I know true monogamy exists because I am a reflection of it. If you have not experienced it, you can quickly start to lose faith in its existence and give up on the quality of love you once thought existed, because of all the hurt you've experienced, and put up with a type of relationship that will eventually scar you for life. At 6:00 your partner talks about not wanting to miss out on 'experiencing' other people. You can very easily experience other people without making it sexual, as you will know from any strong, empowering platonic relationships you've developed in life. With your mum, with your brother, with your best friend, with your co-worker. It's clear you two like each other, but do not want to commit to only having sex with each other. You want to have sex with other people and that's that.
keep passing judgements and telling other people they need to be like you.
Aulona Ismaili
Excellent analysis, peep game.
Have you taken psychology??? Girrrrrl. On point
Wow, very well explained!!
My exact thoughts.... Couldn't have said it better
Aulona Ismaili you are right, the degeneracy of sex is more out of control now a days. This sacred act is now being acted upon a lot like they are animals just so they would have fun and be carefree. The girl deserves anything coming to her with her relationship whenever that is her partner leaving or getting an std.
I actually watched that segment of the view yesterday. Open relationships only last for so long because humans are composed of complex emotions that hinder their ability to make it last. You can try to deny that fact all you want, but at some point, one person wouldn't want the "open" part of the relationship. That's the complexity of humans.
I agree with you. I must also add that one person may say yes to being in an open relationship because there is some kind of pressure.
Exactly, and I feel like the desire to be in a monogamous relationship is suppressed to please his/her partner. One can only conceal those feelings for so long lol. It could also be us subconsciously conforming to what society deems "normal" in relationships, but either way, that's how we are wired (excluding cultures that practice polygamy).
A. J. at the same time, that's why they say they'll discuss particular issues when they come along. I think it works for some people for quite a while and not so long for others. it varies depending on the people involved. I think this relationship is also more communication based, whereas it seems commonly in other open relationships ppl are more open to whatever whenever with whomever and their partner can't be upset. I think the communication will help this relationship.
...but they've been monogomous since they've been dating he said?? So theyre just dating like the rest of us! If they were married then i could hear what theyre on about.
A. J. Not just the fact that in some scenarios, one party may no longer desire for the relationship to be open. There's also the fact that monogamous relationships have boundaries. When people get into a relationship and call it an open relationship, they also set their own boundaries/rules on what works for them. My point is that some open relationships are similar to monogamous relationships in the sense that they both have boundaries. Open relationships may be perceived to (or in actual fact) have wider boundaries than monogamous ones, but boundaries are still boundaries. Once someone decides to step out of that boundary of an open relationship, the effect it has is the same (e.g broken trust etc) . Whether open or closed both types of relationships (in my opinion) are equally susceptible to the same types of threats. Therefore by being different or attempting to redefine the boundaries of conventional relationships, there is in actual fact very little difference because as you said humans are complex. A relationship being open isn't necessarily going to make it more or less successful than a closed one (vice versa). In the not so near future, their relationship might be the new convention and there will be other types of relationships pushing beyond those boundaries they have set. I believe boundaries will keep widening in relationships in an effort to create an ideal environment for honesty, trust etc. But as humans, we will keep surpassing those boundaries so there's really no point to any of it in my opinion.
I don't believe in being in an open relationship (for myself) but I do stroooongly believe in freedom. & what I mean by freedom is giving that person the space & room to breathe & be themselves unapologetically. A relationship should never make you feel tied down or smothered. I think a lot of times people feel the need to control the person they're with & that's not love. It also means you don't trust them & if that's the case you shouldn't be with them. People are gonna do what they want. The more you try to control or be possessive over someone, the more likely they are to rebel. Although I don't want to be in an open relationship necessarily I do want to be able to be open w/ my partner & feel free to share anything w/ that person. I really respect you guys & agree w/ a lot of the points you guys made. Love you Shan❤️❤️❤️
SlowClass Kai very well said..I agree with a lot of what u said
SlowClass Kai amen to this! i don't necessarily want my partner to go out and find someone they'd rather have relations with but if that happens i want them to talk to me about it before taking action. i'd just pray that him talking to me about it would make him feel otherwise but if not i have to let him do him but i'd have to go lol
Nikiala Johnson yea a lot of times when people cheat it's because there's something they're not getting from their partner. & they either have tried to express that to their partner & they didn't listen or they were too afraid to express that because they know their partner will get defensive & overreact. You should ALWAYS make you're partner feel like they can come to you about ANYTHING w/ out you going crazy or getting super defensive.
+Nikiala Johnson i think she hovered on it abit. i think it becomes 'cheating' if he goes and fuck someone without being open about it; not having a dialogue where there's mutual understanding, first without proceeding.
You know people.so what's the difference with this type of "open" relationship then? Because I see some people that agreed with this, but then said if they found out the guy slept with someone else and didn't tell them, its cheating. Well..if its an open relationship, why do they have to tell you??? Even SHAN said she would be pissed about it. Why? It's an OPEN relationship. How does one 'sneak around' when its an OPEN relationship??SMH I sincerely hate all these new fangled type of relationships..for ME. Y'all can keep that mess.
SHANNON! Omg, this is one of the best discussions I've watched on relationships. I have yet to be in a relationship, but I am already certain that a more open style is what suites my needs. And it is so refreshing to hear you and your partner talk about your relationship so honestly.
I think the reason that a lot of people (women especially) get so uncomfortable about the idea of an open relationship is because we've been hard-wired to expect love and relationships to go one way. That way being: once we're "official", we become, essentially, each other's property and cease to be individuals. So, when someone like you--who is educated, honest with herself and owns her sexuality--proudly owns your right to design your relationships, people get upset because you're challenging everything they've been taught is "correct". And I actually think it causes them to go through a mini identity crisis.
Lauren Denise I 💯 agree with everything you said 👏🏾👏🏾
💛
Lauren Denise RIGHT!!!
EEEEESH! Brilliantly put and well thought through. Thanks for the food ;D
Lauren Denise agree 100%. People don't like to have norms challenged.
I did not plan to comment on this video. After watching it, I felt compelled to put this out there, and I hope it doesn't come across as coming from a place of ill-intent, but simply as the perspective of an outsider looking in. This is just an observation of what I can see in this video. This comment is exclusively directed at the woman in this video, and comes from a woman who is in love and in what you would refer to as a "closed" relationship; what I know as a "committed" relationship.
I saw this video in my suggestions, and have always been curious about open relationships. When entered into with the right intentions and with mutual consent, I believe it can be a very fulfilling and sustainable type of relationship; if that's what works for the people in it. Complete respect for anyone in this type of relationship.
If that's what works for both of you, then much respect. I hope you can be open-minded enough to consider what I have to say.
You talk about people having understanding for your type of relationship. However, I do not feel that either of you show any type of respect or proper understanding of healthy, fulfilling, committed or "closed" relationships. I find it difficult to understand why you seem to want so much understanding for the type of relationship you see yourselves in, yet seem to have a lack of understanding of the fact that a "closed" relationship can exist without constantly feeling smothered or like you're constantly missing out on something. You two act as is FOMO is a constant component of an exclusive relationship. It's not. It doesn't seem like you take "closed" relationships as seriously as you take "open" ones, which I find pretty hypocritical. I would take your relationship more seriously if you took the time to show that you understand that exclusive relationships can work wonderfully, too.
The man in this video gave an analogy that involved a man with up to 50 women "coming at him" (if he's good-looking). "Maybe he can reject 3, 4, 5, 10 women...but what happens when he gets to 50 women?" Then using "deductive reasoning" to explain how the probability of him eventually "touching" one of those women is inevitable, because "biology and statistics and numbers" or any other factors.
_Yes_ , if a woman in an exclusive relationship tells her partner he can "look but can't touch," of course that opens the door to flirting or to leading someone on or even to having an affair with the women he's been eyeing down. And guess what? That is not the definition of a truly committed or "closed" relationship.
There is also one major thing he's missing from this equation. Not every "good-looking" man is the type of person who would entertain any sort of sexual, emotional or romantic encounter with any woman outside of his relationship, especially not simply due to the sheer _amount_ of women that might be throwing themselves at him, and certainly not due to the level of attractiveness (emotionally or otherwise) of the women that might express interest in him.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who watched this video that did not appreciate this gross overgeneralization of exclusive relationships or the stereotyping of "good-looking" men in committed relationships. Not every man with a pretty face feels the need to "explore" his options outside of the beautiful woman sitting right in front of him.
I have admiration for open relationships when I can see they are done for the right reasons. I have seen many people speak on this subject, and none of them made me feel the uncomfortable way this video made me feel. This video left me feeling very sad for the woman involved here, and didn't leave a positive impression in my mind about open relationships. I see a woman who is confident, strong, intelligent, and passionate. And also deeply in love with the man sitting across from her. I also see an attractive, charming young man who seems to speak from a place of sincerity. And a man who appears to be actively seeking only his own best interests and desires.
I am very sorry if this comment causes any hurt, is not my intent. If I was in your place, I would appreciate someone telling me what they honestly see, from an outside perspective. I wish you all the best, you are a talented and beautiful woman who deserves all of the happiness you can get in this lifetime 💜
This comment is beautiful and brilliant. Thank you for sharing this.
Oh my lord! you're one smart cookie.
Glad I read your comment!
I just don’t see the point in being in a Relationship with a gurl or guy if you are not gonna fully commit at it to fulfill each other make each other happy and grow, as a One.. and work for it, in that case be single with benefits (sex, emotional or companionship) ...
that’s my Humble opinion..
Working hard at it, making it work. Regardless of small issues.
EG: like a marriage ,Bonds people.. Not all people NEED THAT “paper (marriage) or the Tittle “married” But u can’t just simply walk away and move out and say ok it’s over pack some few stuff and say bye!..
vs when u are married & Just living together way diffent commitment .. I Know Fact.
Its much easier to walk away , or say it’s over bye or like these folks here. “ ok u found something more Intriguing or better cool bye”..
In a committed relationship u , try many many times like when u married.& really work @it..
Sounds to me people here have some commitment issues...
Simply a observation..
Cindy besitos You can fully commit to a relationship and not be exclusive. Commitment and exclusivity are not the same thing.
The coolest part of this video is that you guys allowed each other to speak. And you didn't jump in to correct one another or try to dominate each other's space...what an amazing level of respect!
Relationships are hard enough, let alone turning the spotlight on it. Good on your for standing your ground on The View. You handled it well :)
She probably been cheated on a 1,000 times and was like "ya know just fuck it. It's ok to cheat I'm cool, I'll just accept it."
My first thought when watching this was "settling"..but hey everyone has their own free will.
tbh I think that's true because I saw a vid she did with Ricky Shucks called "once a cheater ..always a cheater?" and her standpoint was that some people can never be monogomous because they have some chemical deficiency in the brain (or something like that) and she concluded with how we should just learn to accept that if you choose to be with such a person >.> plus ofc her dating history hasn't been great as she's been cheated on a lot... I honestly feel sorry that she feels this way ...she basically brainwashed herself to accept shitty relationships because it's all she has ever known :/ she deserves much better
Shannon needs to stop fooling her self, the stuff she's saying I.e "I'm the right partner for you, iv been who I am with you and I'm the person who you can speak to, who you come home too". And she's talking about deal breakers etc I mean all of that is the fundamentals of a 'relationship' ! Yeah she may can control her jealousy levels but her current ideals in this 'so called open relationship' is the same measurements within an actual relationship.
It just sounds like there together but not serious about each other, it ain't 'open' un less there both seeing other people sexually, emotionally or just talking to other people with out the need of consulting each other about it. If not, it ain't open, it's a relationship when you hold someone to a standard in your life that you have to ask to see someone else.
In a relationship you should not have to ask to see someone else. It's crazy how as soon as you are in a relationship you have to think twice about a friendship with the opposite sex. You should be able to connect with another human being whether they be male or female and there should be enough trust and communication in the relationship that your significant other does not feel threatened. That is the basis of most open relationships and that is the issue with traditional relationships.
jamgurl112 okay .....so when I said "ask to see someone else" I meant seeing someone else emotionally or sexually whilst in an 'open relationship' as that's not an open relationship it's an actual 'relationship' when it's 'open' you don't have to consult anyone about who you can get with. Relationships period shouldn't dictate upon genuine friendships.
Alex Richie You're right I didn't think about that...hardly open..
Alex Richie I think you just have a different definition of an open relationship. Not that this represents everyone in an open relationship. But I know a handful of people in open relationships and they all do it this way. Except unlike BOODY most of my friends are actually seeing other people and they are all in their late 20s early 30s. But they talk about everything. and the side-chicks & dicks know that they're side-chicks & dicks (it's kind of weird). I wish relationships didn't dictate friendships but traditional relationships create a barrier (sometimes just out of absent minded respect for you significant) to developing a good friendships with the opposite sex. Only once in my life have I seen a couple that seemed to truly embrace all friendships. As a couple they were just very social and always exploring new friendships. At one point the wife was talking about a male friend and how he's like a brother and how much she loves him (this was all in the context of a conversation) and she met this male friend during her marriage. Just the way they spoke about their friends and the people they've met was beautiful. I haven't met many people that seem to take their friendships as seriously as their romantic relationships. I have a feeling they got there over time (they were in there 60s, I love old people
jamgurl112 I absolutely love this comment and your insight. People need to have an open mind and heart, as well as a different level of understanding to truly get this concept. ❤️❤️❤️
open relationships can be great, but having an open relationship because "well, he's gonna cheat anyways so if i agree to this at least i know it will be coming" aint the way, sis
yeah so they call it open relationship, he can leave anytime
Did your STD Herpie situation ever get solved? Oh right...It NEVER will because Herpies is the gift that just keeps on giving! Well now that it's August 2022 I hope you have fun with MonkeyPox hahahahaha sloots!
this is an agreement between 2 adults. it shouldn't be a problem. this is what works for them. one thing is not ment to fit for everybody.
no judgement I respect u guys but my question is so you guys are not doing anything differently than a closed relationship ? the only difference I see is you guys are really scared to commit. but you still only want to be with each other and you're living together and not sleeping with other people...... so it's just a different title...
Lexi G I wouldn't say they are afraid of commitment. it's nice to have some one that you deeply care for and you both vibe together. you can't control what you feel for people when you meet them and some people arent overly attatched to someone i guess they are people who dont like the feeling controlled and dont like controlling others.. some are just different and see love and relationships differently. it doesnt always mean they are going to go have sex with other ppl constantly.
Xitlaly N
Lexi G i low key agree with you girl lol
Why can't people have fun sex lives without people saying that they are afraid of commitment?😒 you need to to change your perspective because saying no judgement then having judgement is oxymoronic
Kiara Bruce why is monogamy not considered "fun"? I've been in open relationships and it's really an excuse for someone to have an easy out or an excuse to not commit. commitment is the real test in a relationship sleeping with other people is easy.
Jared, I honestly think that was very responsible of your friend's co-worker. If he knows for sure that he doesn't want children, but she does and that's a deal breaker in both of their minds then he did the right thing. Don't lead someone on when you know you aren't on the same page. The outcome later down the line is much more painful. I'm speaking from experience. You can't be wreckless with other people's emotions and feelings.
Southern Sweet Tee but the thing is.... His coworker didn't know if the girl wanted kids .
He just guessed and broke up
Southern Sweet Tee I think he was saying the problem with it is that he never clarified with her exactly what she wanted (whether that be marriage or kids) and broke it off more out of fear that she would want more commitment simply because that's what society has told us was right! I agree never lead someone on and do what you feel is best for you, but don't give up on something or leave something because of the possibility of it going in a specific direction until you clarify what you both want how you want to achieve it and where you want to build
Lauren Blossom and ForeverBeyondMe Got ya
"I'm not the ideal partner for everybody, but I'm ideal for you. But I only know that because I was honest with you about who I am."
These sentences are just worth the whole video. Thank you for sharing your story, you guys are an amazing couple.
Not sure if it's because I'm a follower who genuinely wants to see her win and I'm feeling overprotective....but for some reason I don't trust him. I could be wrong. Time will tell. Hopefully I'm wrong.
You know I was thinking slightly the same thing no hate Intended folks so. But he seems like a know It all. She doesn't very open mindedlol
NDIA 101 Hoping I'm wrong but energy doesn't lie😂😂😂 I still love her though and wish nothing but the best.
No I agree I would never down others way of living I was just feeling the same way I feel she's more down for him then her but same here I wish the best. And thats the energy Im seeing not just from body language. I thumbs up the video.
Dante Dcasso Yep, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Nana Naema Maybe we're missing footage🤔 lol 😂😂😂
This is basically two people who are afraid of total commitment working together to meet their own needs. I came with an open mind but I'm still convinced that this is a selfish thing. "Let me keep my options open in case something better comes along... but don't worry, I'm still with you."
what part of acting as if your partner belonged to you, as if you were entitled to them in some way, is not selfish? your lack of self-reflection is staggering
That's not the case at all
@@alexkaapa wait what? No, you aren't entitled to a partner when BOTH people don't want to sleep around.....use your head. You do realize that BOTH parties want to be committed and the other person to be committed as well. That is called a mutually beneficial relationship.
@@TheBakingSlave i don’t know what part of my comment you are replying to, because - as far as i can see - i never made a claim suggesting that what you are saying isn’t true. i merely wanted to point out that monogamy is not inherently less selfish, because you are acting as if you are entitled to the person, as opposed to viewing your partner as a free agent whose time and company you are priviliged to have.
Who am I to judge you!? I know people who are in a "monogamous" relationship & are cheating. To me its like dating. Testing the water. You obviously know who you are & what you want for yourself. ✅
mayi faith Yes its definitely not for everybody. To each his/ her own
I don’t agree with things she is saying. “You’re not supposed to act when your boss gives favor or your best friend hangs out with someone else” (not exact words but similar).
1. I am not planning on spending the rest of my life with my best friend.
2. I don’t or don’t plan to have kids with those people ever.
3. We are not intimately involved with these people.
4. We don’t share the same household or finances.
5....Should I keep going?
I think it was the principle of the matter. Generally speaking, people want to compete with others. It's how it is human nature. This is with anything. We compete for a job. The point is, whatever you're in competition with, you'll wanna win.
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
You don’t want you best friend in your life forever?!?
Of course I wanna my best friend for a life time, but not as a partner. Keep friends is important while you have a romantic relationship.
Too many people use the open relationship card as a generalized disclaimer for bad behavior so it is refreshing to see a positive example here. I've personally experienced guys who claim that's the kind of relationship they desire but they hold back and don't create a full connection with me either out of laziness or because they're projecting what's generally acceptable in society onto me without actually asking what are my thoughts. It also often turns out to be a selfishness thing. They can connect with however many women they like but once I make a connection with someone who interests me, there's a problem. Long story short, it's hard out here no matter what kind of relationship you're in! Anyway, I'm glad that the two of you have found each other and are loving each other in exactly the way that you both need to be loved.
CherieMonique the projection thing comes from a lack of respect. Its I am allowed to experience this range of emotion and you are here to be dictated to. Misogyny ruins it. If you dont respect someone you cant respect their autonomy and wants and needs and ignore their right and power to choose
I learned a lot here thank you Cherie for your time and insight
They're in an open relationship but have yet to sleep with other people ...and that's why it's obviously working... for now . I feel that naturally a woman is more attached to their partner and more territorial as well . Once the guy starts sleeping with another girl , that's when she'll start doubting this so called relationship . And worse part is that at the end of the day she'll be the one to loose .
+Melissa Cifuentes you edited your comment like 3 times when the best thing you could have done is delete it. Again, writing based on your insecurities, projection is a dangerous thing. Stop
Shan BOODY i was checking for spelling mistakes . English is not my first language I am from France . If you are so easily offended by people's comments then why do you have this platform . I was just stating my opinion , and I think that I am allowed to being that you have put your business so publicly .
I had actually found you very interesting , and I even subscribed to you . But I guess people that don't agree with you are not welcomed here . And I guess your right based on your reaction . Projection is a dangerous thing . You obviously feel defensive for a reason . Good luck to you.. oh and yes it was edited .
+Melissa Cifuentes you are absolutely allowed to comment just like I'm allowed to make an observation about you...even though you never asked (doesn't feel great when strangers try to generalize you does it). And I put out a lot of unpopular ideas so if you're a traditionalist who's going to choose to judge me rather than using my content to explore yourself then accurate to your point this may not be the channel for you. All the best
Hmm. I find that you never truly approach the points of people that disagree with you. I think that's the best way to be convincing. If your world view is correct then why don't you rebut what people are saying against you more with strong logical arguments rather than dancing around it by talking about the way they commented or talking about how victimized and judged you are.
One thing I learned at church last week, whenever you find yourself judging someone, that is a great opportunity to look in the mirror. I think when people judge your life style there is either someone in themselves (not necessarily related) that they should be focusing on, or there is something about you that is a hot button issue for them...why? Life yo life girl.
Girl I’d rather continue dreaming about my relationship with a kpop idol
Ikr! Like you never have to worry about shit like this
Really? Interesting.
Lmao
me with Jimin
who this cute ass nigga? you know u killin it when you dont need hair or a hairline
lollllllllllllllll Agreed~
🙌🏿😂😂😂
LambChop 😂😂😂 comment had me in stitches
LambChop LMAOOO
LambChop omg 😂
I'm in a 'traditional' relationship and I'm happy, I don't need to question it.
I respect that you're happy in your situation and didn't agree with the judgement you got on the View. But I'm sorry I think your boyfriend's tone is just as judgemental (not yours). "Don't be surprised if he does touch when you say he can look"
"Forbidden fruit is the sweetest"
"He's not going to tell you he's getting instagram messages from girls, because you said he can't touch".
Not every man is him, and he doesn't know everyone's relationships. Why judge; just let everyone find their own way of being happy.
I agree, i have no judgement over people in open relationships. I also don't agree with proving if monogamy or open relationships work better because that depends on individuals and what they value. BUT her boyfriend saying "don't be surprised...." and suggesting a partner would cheat or "touch" other women based on numbers/biology was a pretty big blanket statement suggesting that every man will cheat or cross boundaries or lie/hide which is the only problem I have with this video. It's hypocritical in tone of this video which is to not make over-reaching generalizations and being open minded towards other people's lifestyles. Like I said, I'm not about proving whether or not open relationships or monogamy is the "best" kind of relationship. People in monogamous relationships have deeply transparent and consistent communication too. It's how we check in with each other too if monogamy, boundaries, and needs/wants are being fulfilled or need to be addressed. And frankly, I'm tired of the generalization that men will always cheat because all people cheat (overstepping the boundaries/rules they've decided for their relationship concerning emotional/sexual intimacy). And people don't cheat or cross boundaries just because of lust or physiological reactions, people cheat because of emotional disconnection with their partner, from traumatic events in their life that they try to heal through sexual/emotional intimacy or not learning to respect boundaries.
"I don't own you, I'm just the best person for you" yes! That's how my relationship is. I have closed myself to other options because I have the best thing for me.
there are so many ignorant people that just don’t understand where you’re coming from. Your minds are so open, i love it. i fully agree with the fact that so many people have “what if” mindsets when it comes to a lot of things and it probably ruins a lot of things that could be really special.
I literally LOOOOOLed at 17:02. So you mean to tell me, you're in a open relationship but if he sneaks around behind your back then it's a deal breaker? He can only be with other women if you know about it first? Someone needs to explain this whole concept to me properly. I'm clearly missing something.
+Joe SGBKU what is confusing about that.. like literally I do not get what you don't understand. Perhaps it's time to phone a friend
Why pretend as though it's not a foreign concept? You call the relationship open yet there are elements of possession hidden in it. If it's truly open, let him do what he wants with any girl he pleases, without him letting you know. You don't belong to each other right?
+Joe SGBKU it's about respect and preservation of my health. How about this, when you get in a relationship with Jared, you let him do what he wants without consulting or considering you- but for now in our relationship this is what makes sense. It works both ways and it works.. good luck to you
Sweet, and you know what? That totally makes sense. You wouldn't want Jared sneaking around because it would put your health at risk. Right, but if you don't mind me asking: How would you feel about him sneaking around emotionally? Is he allowed to fall in love with somebody else? In this video at 6:28 roughly, Jared is talking about the possibility of another woman or man coming into the relationship. He speaks about the necessary discussion you two would have about how to experience one partner without compromising the relationship with another. Do you really believe this can be achieved? What happens when many partners are involved?
Rose Quartz Yeah it does cuz she can decide then to not fuck with him. If she doesn't know than it removes her choice and THAT is a problem
"doing what you want does not mean it's good for you"
when you get older you will understand... but after it's all gone.
Mrb Drm I truly believe in this. Sometimes fantasies should stay fantasies because some of them harm others and yourself, too. I think they will learn from this sooner or later..
This is random, but this is our relationship. 😊 I talked to a friend of mine and she asked me how often we fight. I told her we never fight, and she was shocked. She said that can't be possible, we must have had a fight before. And I said no. We talk about things, we are open, we discuss, we don't fight. We agree to disagree. She didn't believe me, haha. I trust him, he trust me. I've never checked his phone, I've never opened his mail, I let him go out to party if he wants to, I let him travel, etc. I want him to be himself and I want him to live his life. We don't have an open relationship like you guys, but we do let each other do our thing. I don't want him to feel like he's owned by me, because we can't own each other. We are two different people and we have to respect that. We've found our thing throughout the years and we love our relationship, because it works for us. And I think whatever works for people, that's ok! 😊
The difference between people who support open relationships and the ones who don't is that people who support open relationships don't spread hate over another category of people. Everyone does what they want! My body, my rules!
Shannon you are so open and honest and that's so refreshing! It sounds selfish but also remember to put yourself first. Don't ever let what happens in a relationship make you feel like a "failure" in anything (from what you wrote in your description). I noticed you are a God-fearing person from your other videos so keep that relationship with God strong and invest time in yourself. That way, your feelings about yourself can never be determined by another person (not saying it does now). It's great that you're in a great place :)
+jdk37 I'm at church right now lol I should not be on my phone!!
***** Remember not to judge others and make assumptions about their lives, like what has been done to Shannon. Different strokes for different folks lol
***** But yes, I'm watching the view interview now and they were really unprofessional at some points and definitely attacking their GUEST and Joy yelling "trouble ahead!!" made me want to tell her some things about her marriage lol
tambanaye not in my opinion , if this was my friend telling me and explaining everything about their open relationship, and I have a comment it's out of love and not some insecurities or flaws tht I have within my self it's me seeing the impending dangers of something tht could be emotionally difficult much later down the line in the future
Wow what he said about stop picking up other people's stuff wrung so true, if you can't reason you're not experiencing, I like that.
i liked that part too
BeingLisaJA right! very simple, yet profound.
You know if it works for you, it works for you BUT I would not want an open relationship! I am selfish, I am jealous (yes I am), I have been cheated on, lied to, gotten an STD through my ex and I don't want to let that kind of door open. Either you are with me or you are without me. Plain and simple! However what I would keep from your experience is the openness in the way of communicating whether it's about my man looking at another woman, thinking of another woman or just about other things! I feel like openness can be about sharing more about what you want. I don't know that's my POV🤔
LOL maybe if you were in an open relationship with you lying ass cheating std-giving ex, maybe none of that would have happened?
Jacquie Nnyoung i agree
A. J. Nope because came to find out he was double timing me with his girlfriend of 4 years when we were living together after just a few months of dating. All I know is that she is a stripper and he had 5 gf including me and her. So I don't think it would have changed a thing . I don't think having an open relationship is the answer for a cheating person. On top of that, even though I understand that monogamy is a creation of society and not a concept inerrant to our nature, i think i am at my happiest when I can be with someone exclusively. however what I tend to see is a lack of open communication between partners. We only talk when it's good or bad but not when it's ugly! One thing I know for sure is that their relationship is theirs, I ain't have no judgement to pass but it's not for me, at the moment, I am 21, my desires might change. That being said, i will definitely try and implement that openness in communication with my future partners because it's dope
Jacquie Nnyoung I was just kidding lol. It sucks that you had to endure that though. He's a terrible person for that. That's life though, you live and learn. Hopefully you learned to spot a fuckboy from this experience.
WHY NOT JUST BE SINGLE......ION GET THIS.
Its Bammizo because they still want a relationship with a person they love, there’s a lot more to a relationship than just sex
rih But it's really not a "relationship" (in the modern sense of the word) if you are having sex with, becoming emotionally involved with multiple people at the same time.
427IndigenousSkies just because their relationship doesn’t fit the standard idea of one, doesn’t mean that it isnt one. it’s a relationship to them and we aren’t in any position to debate the validity of it
@@bunnytime8235 this is the most respectful response anyone has had to non monogamous relationship and it makes me happy because some people are so hateful towards it. Like it makes no sense why people feel the need to attack something because it's not their idea of an relationship
its like they are just roommates with benifits.
I believe that if a man truly loves a woman and vice versa he/she will be true to him/her and not sleep with anyone else. Loyalty and faithfulness is an important key in a successful/ long lasting relationship. No one should have to say "No , youre not suppose to like anyone else! Only me!" If someone loves you they'll know that you're enough for them and they wont have to go looking elsewhere to fill their hearts desires. More than anything, if my man went with another woman, I would feel betrayed. It would prove that he doesnt feel I am enough. And I am pretty sure that no matter what you try and tell yourself about it being fine, that feeling of betrayal will be in there, somewhere deep down... Unfortunately this kind of relationship likely won't last... because it DOES hurt. Also keep in mind that youre giving your man permission to have sex with other women and therefor he could perhaps get another woman pregnant. birth control is not 100%. There is a lot of hardship that could follow with that.
Agree
And stds could get spread
She's also with other men though
Wow, very well explained! I totally agree with you!! For that reason I don't think I would never settle for anything less than a purely monogamous relationship.
I literally LOVE how you can feel their connection through the screen. 💯 The way they communicate and LISTEN to one another. They LOOK at each other in the eyes when each of them is talking. HOW they talk...its so real and genuine! Its amazing fr. We need more relationships like this opened or closed. 💯 Doesnt even matter. They are the perfect example of what every relationship should be like... 💯 Not in the sense that everyone should be in an open relationship but in the sense that this is how people should carry themselves when if comes to communication in a realationship whether it's opened or closed. Truly amazing you guys 😌 and this is coming from a 17 year old. I know Im young but trust me...I get it. 💯
yes! i just saw there video. and since English is also not my first language i was trying to find the best way to say ; without being too deep or beating around the bush; that they are both so good for each other ( like they said at this moment) and gorgeaus! you can feel their love! its so beautiful!!!! you guys are awesome.
Yassss!
I commend you for being so open about this topic :) I was having a discussion with my girlfriend about my experience in open relationships and this video popped in our recommended watch list on youtube :) I've grown to realise that it's not my job to convince people that my life choices are ok. Some people don't want to understand and that's ok, as long as I'm happy. Thank you so much, Shan xxx
To my understanding it's not a traditional open relationship that is being described here. I feel like this is two level headed people that has OPEN COMMUNICATION! I did not here that either one of them will be content with sexual relationships with other people, more so that they respect each other feelings and not pressure one another to act one one or another and of that feeling cant be controlled it will be talked about. If an understanding can be made than there considerations maybe reevaluated.
sounds like a pretty normal relationship then
So happy for Shannon ! Used to watch you talk about being broke and now you're on MTV and the view , can't wait to see where else you go ❤️❤️
getting out of THAT closed contractual relationship was hell lol. I've been flying ever since and maybe it's a coincidence maybe not but with my new agency UTA there is no contract I am free to go but happy to stay with them
I can tell that 20 years down the line people are gonna be referring to you as the og of this field. thank you for fighting for your voice and taking a beating of judgments. ur the best front liner someone could have.
i dont understand why any relationship that is not traditional is a issue?? if you are in a relationship that makes u happy thats all that matters...
F.O.H Kandace you're the only one besides me that had some positive to say. i'm interested in this relationship type. freeing in realistic in my eyes
F.O.H Kandace Lol good luck with stds
Trisha Kay Paytas
Or side babies
It's not an issue...it's just almost sugar coating what it really is.
all the hate comments from 2 years ago.. well they’re married now so 🤷🏾♀️
Norah Seide that doesn't mean anything honey. He or she can secretly decide to still be open which is disgusting. Just be single or just a once in while thing. Now open? really? stupid.
I was thinking the same thing after rewatching this again. People were trippin on them, but they’re in a closed marriage now lol
So the marriage is a closed one?
They are married, but it’s open.
theyre not even hate comments they're valid
What's the point of being in a open relationship.. i mean i just don't get it; you guys see other people and have sex with other people what is a relationship about that.. minds well just be fuck buddies lol
PS: im not judging you or anyone else with O.R's i just dont get the point of calling it a relationship.
Simplicity Logan it seems like you're not focusing on the fact that there is so much more to a relationship than sex. These two obviously want to to come home to each other at the end of the day. Having sex with other ppl is just one small aspect of their situation.
Simplicity Logan I think it would be the level of commitment and their feelings toward each other. Me, personally, I have a friend that I deeply care about to the point where the connection is deeper than fuck buddies. So I wouldn't say we're in a relationship, we're definitely more than friends though. My point being, labels mean different things to different people. For them, their open relationship might mean a deeper connection (which Shannon stated in the beginning of the video). 😉
R "Come home to each other" And you can do all that with a fuckbuddy or anybody when you're SINGLE as well. Clearly there is no difference with being single and in an open relationship.
Turan X Who goes home to their fuckbuddy though? If they have an understanding that they are indeed in a relationship, who are you to try and discredit the validity of that relationship?
R Yes, THEY have an understanding of a relationship, while I clearly point out that anything that can be done in an open relationship, can also be done when you're single. Plenty of people out there that say ''Yeah, we're more than friends, so we chill and fuck around and enjoy each other's company'' about their sidepieces and those that stay at each others home from time to time or all the time. So they're doing the exact same shit as someone in an open relationship. The fact that you can't see this just shows how inexperienced you are.
I was in a friends with benefits relationship for almost 8 years and no one understood why I wasnt out finding a "real man". I was so happy and at peace in that relationship. There was no pressure and no stress. I feel like as long as you are honest with each other about what you want and expect, it will work out just fine. It was less stressful than any other relationships (including engagements) I had ever been in. Love you shan! You're the realest of the real!
KissMyCreative same but mine was for a year was more like a friends with benefit but in a way open since he had other people he was with and I had someone else. It we where honest about it it worked reason we stopped was cause he got one girl pregnant and I felt I had no right to get in the way of that where still friends just not relationship wise
FLUFFY4891 that's crazy...my situation was the same. it was a pregnancy thing. Sigh... lol. I don't regret any of it though. and we're also still friends
Rose Lavi It's so interesting that u look at it as the man getting everything "free & easy" and the woman getting nothing in the end. It's almost as if you automatically view it as him wanting nothing but ass, and me wanting more. Its also interesting that you would assume that's all it was just because there was no title associated with our connection. Hmm...Conversation is a great thing isn't it? I love learning about how others view things. It's fascinating. To each their own, girl. I don't regret it at all, it was an amazing 8 yrs full of growth and memories, and I still have a friend in the end. if you see fault in that, I can't judge you. we're all different and we all find happiness in different ways. I think what Shan said at 7:15 in the video is so true to how I feel. And no one has to agree...that's the great thing about humans. we're allowed to be different :)
Rose Lavi but it could be the same for the women it was some guys i viewed as just sex nothing else I did not want a relationship never will they chased me i even had to change my number so you can't Always say it's the woman with a soul tie left sometimes it's the man
Rose Lavi Im not sure I understand. Where in my initial comment did you get the idea that he got all I had to offer him which was ass, and I was left with nothing but soul ties? It sounds like you've created a whole new situation outside of what I've actually lived lol. Also makes me wonder if that is how you view women in general...only having ass to offer. Hopefully that's not your view. Women are sooo so much more than that. I think we should just agree to disagree. ☺
No matter how many types of relationships exist and are attempted, the traditional monogamous relationship is still the bedrock of society, the most stable and most successful arrangement in the entire world. Even in polygamous societies, most women, rather be in a monogamous. But open relationships for new young couples have an extremely high failure rate, and are usually most successful with committed (married) couples that have been together for years. You should have broke this video down into 2 or 3 shorter segments. Nice channel.
+streetgangs 50% of monogamous marriages last. Of the 50 there are anywhere from 10-15% who stay together legally but no longer consider themselves a couple. Of that remaining 30%, 10% of couples consider themselves unhappy most of the time. Do you guys not consider that I spend my life studying this and maybe, just maybe this isn't a decision made bc I'm an insecure millennial but because I understand people and myself. I hope the same for you and that you no longer feel licensed to tell ppl what works best based on what makes you comfortable
The divorce rate in the US has been dropping, but the US is a bad example to use because it is among the top 10 divorced countries in the world. But also of those 50 percent you mentioned, you did not add the success rate of their second marriage, so if you measure the happiness of those added with the others, and then examine it globally, its pretty difficult to argue the success & stability of the institution of marriage with monogamy as the goal world-wide. But I am all for trying new things, i.e. polyamory, swinging, polygamy, etc. but most of the social science research on these these types of relationships point to the natural human trait of jealously and no matter how one try's to fight it, biologically it is extremely difficult to sustain that for multiple years. I look forward to your next video. Good luck and much success.
Shan BOODY perfectly right
Shan BOODY your real with who you want to be and how you want to live your life people are so accustomed of seeing Fakeness so that's why some just cannot comprehend
I need to know where you get your stats from! Of all the keynotes, books and podcasts I ingest I've always heard that second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than the first. Here is the general stats:
In the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce
-Psychology Today
I don't think these numbers should define or sway your choices by any means but I do think if you are someone, like myself who naturally questions monogamous/ traditional relationships, it can serve as a reminder that you're not crazy or abnormal for exploring different routes. oxo
Kind of want another update about how this shaped your relationship now with kids.
I didn't watch your View segment but people only understand what they want to. As open minded as anyone may claim to be we often internalize others lifestyles through our own beliefs, so good for you, I believe you're happy if you say you are and he's really cute so go 'head girl. Being in your head definitely causes more damage than actual betrayals and hurt in a relationship.
And you're almost at 200,000!
I listened to your words and your partners and I actually shared this with my daughter who is in her 2nd year of college. I feel like these are the things I try to tell her about dating and dealing with negative people. When I say to her that she is too young to settle I don't mean it in an old school way I mean she is too young to restrict herself from loving who she wants and experiencing love the way she wants. Keep doing you Shan, and stay confident in your decisions. Because a lot of Gen X and older women struggle with anything out of the box because they have lived their entire life living for others. The older I get and the more I experience I value it all as lessons learned but I never stop being me. I just adjust and keep moving. I have done the people pleasing and it just doesn't work. Young woman need to have these conversations and need to know its OK to have them. Be blessed. I love your channel and your openness.
Honest question: "Since in traditional relationships, having a sex with other people is cheating, what is considered cheating in open relationships? P.s The double edged sword with telling about your relationship as an example of another option, is that it makes it a role model for the success of all open relationships.
mr sir great question!
I think it would go back to what Shannon said her dealbreaker would be: her partner not communicating feelings to her for someone else and her finding out via some other third party (his phone, someone else, etc)
mr sir I think its when you don't abide my the state rules/guideline. Like Shans request is communication for other partners
Joanna McCray yup!!! the whole point she was making on the view was that communication is the main key, even in monogamous relationships. unfortunately the hosts ran with the open relationship part.
I really want a response from them to this question 🤔
I think you have to be super secure with yourself and know yourself very well to be in this kind of relationship and I think Shannon is that❤️
You could be secure in yourself and still just want monogamy, but it’s definitely not possible to be in an open relationship with insecurity
I think we were not meant to see how each other lives, meaning social media and content being readily available. So I feel that depending on your upbringing and generation when you hear certain words like mentioned in the video there is a negative connotation to saying open. I believe that we do not have a soul mate and that we are capable of falling in love with more than one person. Open relationships may fit me, I think you have to know what’s right for you and interrelationship communication is the way to figure it out. I think what you guys are doing is great and as long as it fits for you, that is all that matters. I appreciate you constantly sharing your views on large platforms because the conversation should be had, instead of being taboo.
+chavonique poole 😊 wow thank you
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.”
― Osho
copied. pasted. thank you for this forever
:) You are VERY welcome! :) :D
!!!!! speaking to my fucking SOUL with this. Needed to read this. thank you so much
Honestly, y'all explained it perfectly well to me. I've never been in an open relationship and don't think I'd try it BUT who am I to judge and try and tell y'all how to live. Lol y'all look happy and nobody seems to be compromised so do what y'all do and be happy 😊😊 I'm here for all true happiness #MightAsWellSmile
So basically your in this relationship with each other until you find the right person to be with 🤔... so fulfilling your immediate need
+J's Journey if that's what you took from a 30 minute video, so be it
Shan BOODY wait I'm so glad you responded I'm not trying to fight I'm trying to understand .. you guys aren't in a "open" relationship your more in a trusting relationship? And I know you said this hasn't happened yet but what if you fall in love with someone else but your boo is falling for you?
Your currently in a best friend relationship with benefits? It looks like you guys just don't like the title "bf/gf" and would rather try "options" so when the time comes you are 99% sure who you want to be with before saying i do for life
the point is I don't own him. I partner with him and vice versa. I don't need to prove that I love him by disallowing relationships with others that can help me grown and ultimately us grow closer. It's no different, to your point, than having a best friend who has other friends - yes you are at risk of them liking another friend more but somehow you deal and manage your anxiety because you recognize that it's healthy not to own the rights to your friends and their experiences. Same thing here
Shan BOODY so from your statement now and what I saw, it's a little misleading your using 2 different words to back up your relations "open relationship" and "owning a person"
When I think you mean "open communication" and "respect for each other"
Now I understand there are some people out there who believe that the person their with is "theirs" and that's called slavery.
But relationships were meant for building each other up in their own individuality... so if there person your with is not doing that then it's not the right relationship.
But How is it helping you grow closer to him if your also growing closer to someone else? Where is the commitment to each other? How far is too far?
The same way I become a better friend by allowing myself to connect with others. It's not a hard concept and I apologize for being brief but I am sure if we were in person I wouldn't mind explaining. The obvious applies here, competition is good. freedom is good. security is attractive. commitment has so so so much more to do than who you flirt/ kiss etc.. it's a small part of it that becomes a MASSIVE bump in many relationships bc ppl refuse to put their pride aside and be honest.
Yoooo...
"If anyone was confident in what they do, not a ill word would come out of them." Truth!
I don't get angry or disgusted by your open relationship and I'm a serial monogamous (mainly because I'm super insecure and emotionally/mentally unstable lol) but I'm so happy that you found something that works for you.
This is exactly how a relationship should be 💯 it should just HAPPEN! No force 👏🏾
I like him ...a lot 🤔 makes me questioned myself and my perspective on a lot of things huh.... interesting
shaylynn wilson well he's in an open relationship so go ahead
Slightly Leen lmao right ! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Slightly Leen shoooot let me slid in the DM Jk Jk no all jokes aside this video just really made me think a lot I probably would enjoy having a relationship like this because once again it's based on communication letting your partner no like hey I might have a interest in someone and I'm just letting you know so they're for your not left in the dark but then there's the sucky part the emotional connection the humanity part that little spark of jealousy so I was just interested in WHAT Shan & jerrad two completely different people feel about there relationship 🤔🤔🤔
thats not the point.
habanerobbq ok but I didn't ask you what the point was I'm stating my own opinion and my personal thoughts of what I got out of it
Honestly this is beautiful and I’m glad the world is finally moved on enough that people like this can speak up and talk about different lifestyles. This inspired me to be more trusting and loving in my own relationship.
It's people like this who mess up the younger generation.. thinking this shit is okay
Shannon, I love you and your openness. The light and presence you exude is so beautiful and I hope I am able to meet you.☺️
+
The thought of having an open relationship with my s/o I think I'd die. You seem happy but I know I wouldn't be happy. My mindset is i am his and he is mine. Jealousy is hard to ignore. My jealousy can only be contained when he's talking to another attractive girl or hanging out with her but knowing that he's having intimate relations with someone else ESPECIALLY an attractive girl I couldn't.
they call us insecure for having a problem with their relationship and the truth is, we are insecure. the idea of a relationship like theirs wold naturally make anyone feel insecure. because it's not normal. human beings aren't meant to be in open relationships. we like exclusivity and we are jealous. it's normal to be jealous in healthy amounts. but I can tell that this girl is very insecure. so insecure that she is willing to accept a man who will never fully commit. she wants to seem easy going and laid back so that he will like her. he is an asshole and has found a woman who is insecure enough to put up with his behaviour
Huh? Shan and Jared are married, been married for over a year now. What are you referring to?
i feel like you don't have to defend your relationship. it's what works for you guys
+Stefany Brown it's a conversation of interest we are sharing with you. That's RUclips. That's what this is.
okay! i only felt like it was a defense cos you brought up what happened on the view.....like i said, do you cos you're awesome
First of all, you both are absolutely beautiful. I am 100% down for open relationships. I've felt that way for around 10+ years but, the men and women I've had relationships with were never on the same page as I. As I watched this video, I find that you two communicate so beautifully and with such respect for each other. I wish that others would just respect diversity in relationship styles and simply mind their own fucking business. Much love and respect from San Jose, Cali 💗💗
I feel deep down for years now, that I'm poly. This is such and honest, freeing way to live and love.
I watched clip of you on The View, I was pissed! I felt like they were trying to chastise you for your relationship status kmt
I respect you guys' perspective and your relationship!👌🏾
that whole show can be annoying at times
the view always does that. they are bigots and cant tolerate someone hat has a different view than them. so annoying.
you know afterwards Joy pulled me aside and said some very wonderful things. It's their job to shake things up, it wasn't expected but in a way it was kind of cool to have a healthy debate
Ann Amg The characters that are hosting these types of shows are whatever/whoever the system (of societal engineering) needs them to be. They work for this system . . . The system is their employer . . . The hand that feeds them; These types of people are diligent gatekeepers. They compromise themselves for a "certain lifestyle" of media attention & fame. Thus, the collective attack of someone who dares to be individual and speak their truth.
"I am not afraid of competing with other women.I don't own you,I am just the best person for you."........confidence that most men, and women need not only for their relationships, but for their professions. Blew me away.
"I would like a world in which we stop thinking about what is normal, and think about what actually suits us" another one I loved. I am collecting quotes here....
Love to so many of you for your respect, curiosity and for using this video the right way - to understand YOURSELF better. Some of you however truly amaze me with your arrogance and gull. The reason I only do one on one counseling and would NEVER dish out "expert" advice based on an email or singular glance into someone's life because there is 0 possible way I would have the skills and insight to make an assessment on something so personal and important to someone without at least one hour of unfiltered discussion. Wherever you studied, go back there and pick those books back up. You are far from ready to be giving out diagnosis. Just a friendly reminder I am not asking you to comment on me, I know myself so your rules will not work for me. I DO HOWEVER ask questions in the poll and in the info box of the video, if you feel like you want to type something It would do you good to refer there please
Shan BOODY We love you Shannon!
Shan BOODY please read my comment Shannon!
Shan BOODY I'm not understanding the complete concept of an "Open Relationship" I guess, we'd have to define what it means to have a relationship with someone...is the human make up spirit, soul (mind/will/emotion/) & body. What is the definition of relationship? Is that case sensitive? If that's so, how much of ourselves do we commit to an "open relationship?" It's about commitment spirit, soul, & body. Do we not give that to or lover? Does true love not give us the freedom to be & become? Doesn't love & the actions it represents give birth to the finest parts of life? Love & relationship is sacrifice, right? I just feel like you or "we'll" miss out of the deepest points of love, if we handle it loose handedly...I've studied love & the functionality of human relations and I'm completely confused. Honestly, I feel you both are missing out on something greater. Love is liberating! When one commits every part of his or her being to someone, it liberates them!! It births gratitude in them!! I mean, a man or Woman who would love you until the point of death! Give you their inside parts, if it meant you'd live forever...to know someone would reject their last heartbeat to be with you & to understand that every breathing moment they have they'll live it completely given to you?!? That's overwhelming...there's a comfort in that type of love! It isn't to say you will not grow because love always grows! It always supports! Jeeesh...there's more!! Not judgement passed. There has to be absolutes. There has to be concreteness...I've been in love so locked & sure that no amount of "pretty" or intellectual conversation would do well for me...no other woman but her own...her body, her legs, her eyes...her spirit, soul, & body were All I needed or wanted...and within that concrete place, I found Release & growth! Inspiration & desire. It's not an external act "as far as interacting with males as a you-tuber, must people understand the dynamics of a work place situation and dealing with the company of the opposite sex. I can think you're attractive & not love you or want a relationship with you on any level. love is also sacrifice, it's faithfulness within every part of your being yet it isn't duty! When you love someone, you'd want to give yourself to them holistically. More than anything it saddens me;nevertheless, I'll respect others as humans. I just know there's more to be had but it's something you have to understand to experience & experience to understand & that starts with each individual alone outside of any type of relationship...that's called "self-worth & truly knowing the breakdown & dynamics of our needs as humans. Peace & love though...
hey shannon ! idk if you know Adina rivers ( my tiny secrets) ,but it would be great to see both of you collab. She's in an open relationship and has similar interest ,as well. You should deff check her out!!!
Shan BOODY I did see The View episode and I want to commend you for standing up for yourself and for your relationship. The term I heard, more than once, was "traditional values" and that to me that was their "disclaimer" to condone their intolerance, ignorance, and their sheer defiance to understand humanity. Please don't stop doing what it is you're doing! You bring a breath of fresh air and it is invigorating to hear your take on love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. People who question the pursuit of one's happiness has a lot of issues in their own that needs special attention. Don't let their inability to broaden their own horizon give you cause to feel anything less then or hurt you in any way. Stay the course because you are changing lives! I got your message "communication is key" and I agree with you 100%. To define your relationship or my relationship is dick move and to define my life according to your rules is asinine! I am lesbian woman, married to a beautiful woman, and we live a life that we created for ourselves that works perfectly for us. You are challenging the "traditional values" and for most people that's an implausible concept to wrap their small minded heads around. Live assured that you're education, understanding of human interaction, and life experiences puts you leagues above all of the haters. Thanks, and keep up the excellent work! And please, don't be shy to bluntly tell people educate themselves! It only takes the willingness to learn to gain knowledge. Listening is a key component of effective communication.
My Opinion on an open relationship - i don't get it. So if there is no rules but I have to relay OPENLY all that would bother me or get permission to see home girl or home boy that doesn't make a relationship open, it's like walking on egg shells. You might as well be single and not put a title to it. This actually would cause a lot of hostility or self esteem issues because now I have to be comparing myself to the girl he took out the night before. And a lot of you would say "well that's where you have to be confident in yourself". That's a lot of emotional work for a person 👎🏽. Sorry but to me you guys live with each other to help pay each other's rent.
Emily Peralta do not apply your insecurities and short comings onto others. I do not share your feelings of self doubt or personal financial concerns. We are very different people, you are welcome to speak for yourself but don't bleed those minimizing thoughts onto me
Shan BOODY I think I said it was MY OPINION, none of what I said was thrust upon to influence others. TO ME it just doesn't make sense. And no insecurities here just God made Adam and Eve not ADAM EVE CYNTHIA STEPHANIE PRICILLA AND JOANNA. OR EVE ADAM JOE BILL BOB BILLARD AND HAROLD. 👌🏽 disclaimer that again is my belief and if you didn't want people adding their honest opinion you shouldn't have made this section public open to conversation. Thanks
If you really can't see where you took your comment from personal opinion into the land of misinformed projecting and assuming - then again, please note we have little in common and you should refrain from assuming about my personal or financial needs. You're welcome :)
Listen if you were so confident as you say you are or tell others to be, why should my comment have any affect on you lol I don't know you 👌🏽 social media is not a real place and yet you allow a person that you will probably never encounter to judge your life so easily you really need to evaluate your theories. Live what you preach ✌🏽️
I enjoy your type. When you have no defense the best approach in your mind isn't to retract but to attack me for even taking on your bullshit in the first place. Cool ;) carry on
Is a "open relationship" actually a relationship?
yes
hell no. its friends with benefits without sleeping alone at night.
good question
the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. So yes
Yes. It's a choice they make. If they love each other and say they are in a relationship then they are.
Why call it an "open relationship"?
How they both define their relationship, does not match the meaning of an open relationship. They just have a healthy relationship, not an open one.
Exactly. That’s why I speculate it could be an actual open relationship on his end - being intimate with others in secret but feeling no guilt or need to disclose it to his partner bc he already got the free pass by labeling it as “open”. He seems very fake woke to me. Of course I don’t know these people but it doesn’t add up.
I totally understand this and your choices are your own. But personally, there is not a chance I cud let my girlfriend talk to other guys and do stuff like that. A relationship to me is just 2 people, willing to grow with each other and eventually love each other. I just don't get how people do it like you two.
kevin khungay u
kevin khungay Shannon and her man HAVE chosen to grow together. The only difference is they've made a conscious decision to realize that we are all individuals belonging to only ourselves and if at any point another person happens upon their life and intrigues them then they have the right to explore that. Like they said, they don't know what will happen in the future but right now they aren't worrying themselves with that. Living presently works for them.
Kevin Khungay,
You are blessed and you have discernment. Stay the way you are and your blessings will come. You will see in time what I mean and she will see in time that this guy is not that into her and he doesn't love himself nor her. He has a lot to learn. No offense this open relationship maybe what they need to learn why it isn't good for the spirit to be pulled multiple directions especially in this day and age. Not judging these people though. I just see the obvious and it's not even worth them making a video to convince others because they don't know what their doing. Why don't they just get a couple of healthy hobbies and juggle constructive hobbies instead of other people?
Smart man Mr. Khungay.
"Stop picking up shit that's not yours. Stop picking up problems, stop picking up stress, stop picking up worries, stop picking up anything that's not yours to carry." Ugh, I needed to hear this. Such good advice.
So many assumptions about "non open relationships" rather than just talking about your open relationship. A little too judgemental for such an open minded non-couple.
I did an open relationship for two years. I asked for the open relationship. It was the best decision for me. I loved that he didn’t try to box me in. We are married now.
Did you ever experience jealousy? Or were you ever scared about losing your partner to someone else? But congratulations to the both of you 😊 I'm just trying to learn the why's of open relationships
"stop carrying things that aren't yours" I loved that. Thank y'all for this video, I loved hearing y'all speak your truth. I hope to have a relationship with such great communication and honesty one day.
please yall live for the Tyrone you can't keep. You want a man who can walk away from you and his life improves. It's 60% of the reason for hoe phases today, she couldn't keep Tyrone.
I watched this all the way through and I just want to say that you guys seem to have such a genuine, authentic relationship. Regardless of how others perceive you guys, you seem to have a loving relationship that fulfills both of you.
+Erika Azita thanks for staying to the end Erika!!
yes they have proper balance, she cares more.
When this "relationship," faces the REAL TEST of someone actually stepping in and becoming a threat or a level of interest in shown and that it's discussed between the both of you and you two make it past that...can you please make a follow up video. I would love to see how you guys got through that one. Otherwise, this is just talk 💅🏾
"Open relationships" are strange. It's definitely non traditional. Absolutely a foreign concept. It completely throws the idea of faithfulness and commitment away. I don't agree with the ideology but I'm not going to knock you for it. I'm not married yet, heck I'm not even in a relationship but my eyes are fixed on the prize. You don't look at Gold bars when you've been given a diamond. Just my opinion. If I enter in a relationship it's because I feel she's that diamond. I have to be extremely critical on the dudes perspective on justifying an open relationship on the basis of adultery. I get an open relationship simply means the OPTION is there but I respect and love too much to have time for anyone else. Definitely not judging y'all. You folks are articulate and cool. We're allowed to disagree.
Belicose777 I love that analogy “You don’t look at Gold bars when you’ve been given a Diamond”.
Sshhh..LetsTalkSmack :)
Yes I think you allow to disagree without judging and I didn't think you did. Open relationship is not for everyone just like a close marriage is not for everyone. To me as long ad they happy doing it and it is not something that's been forced I'm happy for them. I feel love between them.
I absolutely love the flow in conversation you all have. It's great to see such kindred spirits. Ya'll are bomb and I love your outlook of love. I wish you love and will definitely be watching your channel more. I haven't been on in a while. Love you girl!
+Clarke welcome back beauty oxo
You are both so fucking beautiful 😻
Like holy crap
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takes one to know one Sareli! Thank you for your time and love today
open relationship? i barely struggle to have one man! how do you even??
It's about honesty, trust nd mutual decision
Doesn't mean they are with a bunch of people!!
Lol...It's all kind of craziness going on in these times. My question is how do you deal with STDs and pregnancies??? Hmmm....I'm greedy, I don't like to share, so this won't work for me. I'll be wondering all the time who he's with. Your guy must be so happy..getting his cake, eating it too...and then some.
Woman Of God
But she's also with other men
they are in an open relationship but it doesnt mean that they are out here sleeping with any and everyone. They are just leaving room for other connections that may or may not happen...
The way that they talk to each other, I mean, there is SO much respect there.
LOL... it's one way. Dude can't say anything which she doesn't approve.
I honestly can't believe how intolerant this comment section is and will be, we have a long way to go.
theMindof Awesome honestly
I am happy there is convo happening!
Open relationships actually make perfect sense. In closed relationships you put constraints and borders on someone and tell them they can only be with you. Which raises the want for others since that person KNOWS they can't have them or do anything with them. BUT if you allow leeway for desire that person will satisfy their wants or fantasies and sooner or later realize what they really want. It's all internal really.....
Shout out to Shan
If you feel suffocated then don't be in a relationship, period. Stop making excuses for promiscuity
@@nicoleharrington9086 Well looking at this comment again, 6 years later lol, don't really agree with myself anymore. I DO NOT think open relationships "make perfect sense". No form of relationship does, it's subjective and mostly culturally influenced.
That being said, I don't see how the old comment implies "promoting promiscuity". It's just dating.
I love you all dearly. Differently but dearly! Make sure to do the poll above. The new channel is not as ready as I hoped but it has one video up & you can subscribe (please). I also left personal discussion questions in the info box. If you have any followup questions for myself and Jared let me know! As we do represent an unconventional relationship I respect your right to clarification. Be great today
shannon, I wanna send you inappropriate messages and pictures now that I know there's still a chance for us. 😊😊
Shan BOODY just recently me and this guy that I've been off and on with decided to get more serious. It was absolutely amazing and I really felt like we were growing but all of a sudden things just kinda stopped. No calls no texts nothing. What do I do? Like do I call this dude up and call him out? Sorry but like for some reason this vid reminded me of this. Thanks so much for everything you do and I love all your vids.
Shan I absolutely love you. You make me feel celebrated! You make me feel like the boundaries of society right now is bullshit! You can love openly and it doesn't have to be jealousy or manipulative. It can be just innocent and happy ☺️
Heey, where is the link to that other channel? I can't find it anywhere :O
Shan BOODY it was so frustrating watching you try to explain "open relationship" on the view. it went right over their heads, wish you could have corrected them ..bcz they kept misconstruing what you were saying and repeating it
It seems like open relationships exist in opposition to monogamy, which seems ill-intended. Y’all talk about the fact that it works BECAUSE of certain things that don’t work in monogamy. There are so many issues in any relationship, open or closed, so stop comparing to open relationships as being “liberating” because closed relationships are somehow all “suffocating” or “possessive”. No, unhealthy closed relationships are, but that’s not what people in a closed relationship strive for.
As someone who does open relationships/polyamory, seeing your representation of this, especially as a black couple is so SO SO empowering to me. There's so much stigma around non traditional relationships and it manifests itself in a uniquely difficult way in the black community because of the narrow contexts in which we/ we feel obligated to live. Seeing you declare your freedom to love in a way that feels good to you fills my heart with such joy. The resistance to open relationships comes from the idea that monogamy guarantees happiness and it doesn't. %50 of marriages fail. So it's not the monogamy that's the magic. It's whichever people find people that they are compatible with and do the work to stay together. Be it in marriage, long-term-non-marital, open or traditional. Whatever the case may be. We feel that if we follow all of the instructions and solve the equations properly, then we'll all end up with the perfect solution. Life doesn't work that way. At some point, you have to put down your guns. Fight with your fists and get willing to get INVOLVED and dirty in your own life. Be willing to take risks and explore. Be vulnerable.
Thank you so much for sharing, Shannon (and Jared:).
Shan, you're awesome. Ilysm and I'm so proud of you and I'm excited to see more great things from you.
You are truly a leader because you lead by example, not instruction.
I have never been in an open relationship, but I pride myself on being nonjudgmental, so I understood where the both of you were coming from. I'm happy for you guys! Love is love. If that kiss at the end doesn't tell you that these two love each other, and what they have works for them, then something within you needs to be reevaluated.
To each it's own. Respectfully, I agree to disagree. If I'm not the primary only, then a relationship is irrelevant. Personally, "Open" equals not trusting each other. Appears to be lack of discipline to commit. Gives permission to be subliminally secondary at anytime. If I'm claimed and it's mutual, I don't want to share. However, (if discovered later) if one person is not enough, then that person is free to explore........without me.
I am so happy that u are living your life authentically. Don't let these haters stop u for being you. Also, you guys are doing what works for you in your relationship. I love the honesty in this conversation. I just wanted to leave a comment and give you good vibes. Keep doing you boo.
I'm all for this but let's be honest, how is this an open relationship? Neither of you have been with anyone else. Furthermore the guy said you'll deal with those issues when you get to them... So 10 years time one of you finally has sex with someone else then you realise you weren't ok with it deep down?
Maybe I misunderstood the video but that seems like an accident waiting to happen.
You have to talk about EVERYTHING upfront so you don't get into a shitty situation. I'm not saying you should worry about it. But if you fail to plan you plan to fail.
For you guys I think the simplest way to say "open relationship" means "open shameless communication" in that case, every relationship should be open. *drops mic* 😎 keep spreading knowledge 🙌🏾 #skyysquad
to each their own, but nah i dont like open relationships
CosmicShrimp same lmaoo