I am the dyslexic one in our family and as of Sept 27 2022 we will be married for 35 years. I went 33 years without telling my wife that I am dyslexic mostly because I just didn't know what was wrong with me. Being dyslexic has provided lots of tense moments in our marriage like not being able to find my way to a location I'd been to several times before, I'll not go into all the other areas of stress caused moments suffice it to say that I'm surprised our marriage survived. I explained to her once the effort I must make to read a book she was flabbergasted being a teacher by trade even more so. Living on pins and needles around people for so many years has destroyed my stomach on two different medications for it. My biggest problem continues to be" me" not giving myself a break when I do dyslexic things. Maybe someday I'll just give myself a break.and remember I'm dyslexic and that's okay.
My fiancé has the same thing happen to him when he is driving to the place he's been to 100x he asks me for direction. We always wondered if anyone else had that.
Im in a new relationship with someone who is Dyslexic. I have ADHD and im going to watch this video with my partner. Its great to feel comfortable enough to express these sort of thoughts and feelings and see the humour in it.
I am a male and dyslexic. I never felt confident / adequate enough to provide for a family. So I never got married, and I never had any kids. I didn't want my kids to suffer as I had my whole life. A life of hiding and fear.
I'm the dyslexic one in the relationship. And it is extremely hard for him. Especially because we both didn't know the extremes of being dyslexic. Especially, I just thought I had horrible mood swings which has now I feel like that's part of being dyslexic. And I didn't know how to help myself. And neither did he until now. We both have a better understanding of it and starting to learn how to hold each other. Even though we're not in that relationship anymore. He still be my best friend and is helping me through this.
I am the wife of a dyslexic - I am trying to learn how to cope with the everyday annoyances of living with a dyslexic. We are an older couple who dated as teenagers, lost touch with each other over the years but reunited about 10 years ago, got married 3 years ago…so for me…I haven’t known much about dyslexia & I often forget that an annoying habit or whatever could be a dyslexia thing versus just a man thing! I often feel put upon but if I can remind myself that he is dyslexic (really a bad one), I am more apt to forgive & not get so annoyed. I will listen to your podcasts & read some books & figure out a “trigger reminder” for myself when situations come up. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
I always ask my wife to ensure I'm listening by using my name first. Otherwoses she a few paragraphs in before I even realised she's been speaking to me 😮. Then I have to pretend I know what she's talking about 😂.
I am the dyslexic one. Didn't know till about late 2016ish I'm 35 now. This video makes 100% sense to me. I can fully relate to it. There are times that I am on top of my game and others when I am overwhelmed where I can't function as a normal adult. Those times are hard on my marriage.
So, being with a dyslexic partner has taught me something really wonderful that I have been given the opportunity, and I can see the opportunity that I offer myself to be with a dyslexic partner, being with a dyslexic partner has created a large level of patience. Also a large capacity and capability of explaining things in different ways choosing to be with a dyslexic partner has blessed me to be a more conscious human being, and also has gifted me a wonderful partner, a loving and caring lover I can say she is a sweet, wonderful person and more and more years will come and I stay I know that our patients are openness our transparency will only be a pinnacle for this relationship so it’s not about giving up to me is about keep on going because we are here to help each other out not to judge each other to help each other and I’m here for my wife and I know my wife is here for me so we got this …
Thank you so much for your video. I'm in a relationship with a dyslexic person, and all that you have said makes sense... now. I have been struggling to understand why we are arguing every week and to be told I don't have empathy. I find that I am always accused of doing something wrong, and there is no accountability acknowledged from them to our issues or heated arguments, which go from zero to 100 over trivial things or a misunderstanding. Also, I'm always being accused of looking elsewhere for someone else in our relationship, which is not true. So, your video did help me to understand the mindset, but it's very difficult as I have feelings too.
Oh I totally understand what you are saying - there is so much patience, kindness and empathy required to be in a relationship with a neurodiverse person. Both of you needs have to be met for it to be an equal relationship - I wish you lots of luck x
Hey vanessa im undiagnosed adhd in a relationship with a dyslexic and i suspect they are my twin flame. Its quite a mess but im learning so much in your videos, they are so helpful to help me navigate this relationship and be more understanding of the behaviours. Thank you ever so much!❤
I'm the dyslexic in the relationship. What drew me to my partner was the fact that he never belittles me. He also pushes me to complete tasks I struggle with but helps me do them at my own pace. I think the most I appreciate from my partner is that he knows my issues, but he doesn't let it define me.
Hello Vanessa I have only just started watching your videos and I want to thank you so much as I can relate. I am 58 and was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 52, whilst studying for a degree with the Open University here in the UK where I live. Unfortunately it took 6 more years until I learned that dyslexia also had a negative impact on every romantic relationship I ever had, as I was always told that I am not a good listener and recently a man broke up with me after only 4 months because he had no patience. My 21 year old daughter also presented me with the reality that I have a lot of the symptoms of ADHD as well. It's a bitter pill to swallow. 😢
I married the love of my life 5 years ago knowing he was dyslexic but not understanding what that meant. I started searching about information because I have been feeling so overwhelmed with all that I do around the house and it has been making me angry because I felt like he was using dyslexia as an excuse. I have been researching all day and I am realizing that I have been being unfair in what I expect him to be able to do .
I'm dealing with the same issue. My husband has it. I'm trying to get him to do husband duties around the house that he doesn't want to do. Hus mom told me he had it, whem I asked him he claim he don't remember . I feel like I have 3 kids
I just broke up with my boyfriend because of bad communication but I thought it was something else affecting him and thought dyslexia was only reading and writing. It's been 3 days and I know he's going through hell and I don't know if I should try to get him back because I misunderstood him or just let him go😢
@@Melanatedbarbie1 this is so hard. i've been on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend several times on account of feeling extremely frustrated and misunderstood, and unable to understand why he's not listening to me, or not following through on things he's agreed to. it became really urgent recently, and I told him we need to figure this out, get on the same page, within a set amount of time or i'm going to have to go my separate way because i just can't take it anymore. through researching my frustrations and our communication issues, I stumbled upon the topic of adult dyslexia and it's explaining so much of our troublesome relationship dynamics and really clarifying a lot of things for me, and hopefully for both of us when we begin watching videos like this together.
My wife gets me to repeat things back to her. But, like you, I'm so open to being wrong that I even take the blame when it turns out I was actually right. Planning - I used to be good at planning but I now get younger braind to PA me.
My biggest issue is taking what is in my brain and conveying that idea or knowledge into words either spoken or written. So making a point or argument is incredibly difficult. I'm new here, so I hope that I come across a video that discusses that. My partner (of almost 40 years) is also very right brained, a "numbers guy" he can get frustrated with me and I with him. But I know my issues and remind him of it weekly. 😉
I;m 48 my long time relationship has broken down, communication, planning, short term memory problems all played a role! Reading, maths, spelling have always been a issue for me. I simply put it down to slow learning but I adapted and found other ways to solve problems. Today I took a dyslexia test and sored 8! A couple hours of research and learning... Just watched your video... OMG its like a veil has been removed.. all makes sense. Thank you so much.
I'm 55 and never been in a real relationship with a girl because of my dyslexia and problems with verbal communication. It's bad enough in normal situations but if I'm around someone I find attractive it's a lot worse. Other than saying hello, I'd have no idea what to talk about and even if I did I'd trip over my words and say something that doesn't make any sense.
I am dyslexic and the thing I do all the time is think that someone has finished talking and they haven’t so I talk over them. I can tell by their face that they are angry so I get frightened to talk at all. Does anyone else do this?
Well been married for 14 years but been together for 19 years. Which I am the dyslexia one however my wife has brain injury and memory issues. She helps me which a lot of stuff but I also have to be on top of my game having two kids which quite a challenge. Also in the process of getting diagnose of ADHD is another string to my bow. Can’t lie it has been a strain on both of us and the kids. I think she got a lot of patients being with me which I am somewhat difficult at times.
We are both dyslexic. I also have ADD which drives my wife crazy sometimes. Right now we are most concerned with helping our 8 year old who is also dyslexic and really struggling with learning to read and write. I will add about our relationship that we have different dyslexic personalities. My wife is the over achieving dyslexic who will work extra to get where she wants to be in life. I am the kind that held himself back, making sure jobs were safe and reading and writing were not a big part of my duties.
My boyfriend has dyslexia and I just broke up with him because of communication. He's a good person and I feel like I'm just misunderstanding him but it pisses me off so much about the communication thing. I know he's probably going through hell right now because I broke up with him but it's only been 3 days and I don't know what to do or say😢
My daughter is similar to me but has very, very mild dyslexia. Is it possible someone can be barely dyslexic in spelling but have a strong dyslexic mind set?
Went 40 years without a clue I just figured I am how I am try explaining that to someone they just think you are making excuses or being lazy. The amount of couples council I went through before being diagnosed with no real solution in sight. At least I know there is a reason now it’s just getting the other half to understand it but after 17 years fuses can still be rather short a lot of the time.
If you can get your other half to watch some the videos we are putting out this month for dyslexia awareness, it might help. Once other people have awareness of what is going on, it can change everything for your relationship.
Sasly the person that invited me to her country was dyslexic and dyspraxia but could communicate that she was hiding a marriage and in wondering how much benifitnof doubt should i give cause dyslexia in this situation she presented as single not so much directly lie but never seemed to give direct answers and im wondering lying part of dyskexia or weeming like lying it was a tough experience im still trying to get answers or see if she will open up talk but sadly after all that she quickly retreated back to the marriage she told me was broken and wanted to leave
Yeah but the world is soo messed up now. Everyone uses dating apps and they are rubbish due to there bad design and limitation. Its all about messaging which is complete hell. Gone are the days when you can go out to meet people. People just stay in their groups looking at dating apps like sheep at bars. 20 years ago i could just walk around a bar and chat to like 20 random people and everyone else did the same. It's crazy how much its changed.
I have never been in a proper relationship. The expectations are anxiety-inducing. Trent Reznor beautifully expressed how I feel in his song Hurt. Yeah, it's a song about addiction, but It just resonates with who I am.
I’m finding men’s dyslexia if different from women in small ways, also it seems like most of dyslexia podcasts are British people, is there a higher number in British people that are dyslexic? I’m also 15% British, I’m just curious because I’ve been really diving into this since I just got diagnosed at age 47
I was married to a partner with undiagnosed issues - i believe im dyslexic + ADHD traits and we ended up divorced because we couldn’t communicate at all
Dyslexia affects every sort of relationship, not just partners, but friendships (I could tell you some stories about that one), work relationships, parent relationships - all of them
I'm gonna tell you that sounds exactly like me from age 5 × 60 is what I am right now.I am so angry aninfrustrated that I did not get the proper help that I needed.I wanted to be AC.And a nurse❤❤❤❤❤
I always ask my wife to ensure I'm listening by using my name first. Otherwises she's a few paragraphs in before I even realised she's been speaking to me 😮. Then I have to pretend I know what she's
I just got out of a relationship and she didn't give me the same affection I am the dyslexic she said I was always woe is me and it was long distance so whatever I'm 29 next month and she was 22 and said she was auric but I don't believe her honestly but yeah I'm very angry
I am the dyslexic one in our family and as of Sept 27 2022 we will be married for 35 years. I went 33 years without telling my wife that I am dyslexic mostly because I just didn't know what was wrong with me. Being dyslexic has provided lots of tense moments in our marriage like not being able to find my way to a location I'd been to several times before, I'll not go into all the other areas of stress caused moments suffice it to say that I'm surprised our marriage survived. I explained to her once the effort I must make to read a book she was flabbergasted being a teacher by trade even more so. Living on pins and needles around people for so many years has destroyed my stomach on two different medications for it. My biggest problem continues to be" me" not giving myself a break when I do dyslexic things. Maybe someday I'll just give myself a break.and remember I'm dyslexic and that's okay.
My fiancé has the same thing happen to him when he is driving to the place he's been to 100x he asks me for direction. We always wondered if anyone else had that.
Im in a new relationship with someone who is Dyslexic. I have ADHD and im going to watch this video with my partner. Its great to feel comfortable enough to express these sort of thoughts and feelings and see the humour in it.
I am a male and dyslexic. I never felt confident / adequate enough to provide for a family. So I never got married, and I never had any kids. I didn't want my kids to suffer as I had my whole life. A life of hiding and fear.
Oh I am so sorry to hear that :(
I'm the dyslexic one in the relationship. And it is extremely hard for him. Especially because we both didn't know the extremes of being dyslexic. Especially, I just thought I had horrible mood swings which has now I feel like that's part of being dyslexic. And I didn't know how to help myself. And neither did he until now. We both have a better understanding of it and starting to learn how to hold each other. Even though we're not in that relationship anymore. He still be my best friend and is helping me through this.
I am the wife of a dyslexic - I am trying to learn how to cope with the everyday annoyances of living with a dyslexic. We are an older couple who dated as teenagers, lost touch with each other over the years but reunited about 10 years ago, got married 3 years ago…so for me…I haven’t known much about dyslexia & I often forget that an annoying habit or whatever could be a dyslexia thing versus just a man thing! I often feel put upon but if I can remind myself that he is dyslexic (really a bad one), I am more apt to forgive & not get so annoyed. I will listen to your podcasts & read some books & figure out a “trigger reminder” for myself when situations come up. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Oh my dear, my situation exactly! Sometimes I feel like the caretaker, actually most of the time. I pray a lot for patience 😂
Spot on. I'm dyslexic and I will be showing this to my wife. I seldom hear the first couple of words she says.
Thanks much.
Bob
I always ask my wife to ensure I'm listening by using my name first. Otherwoses she a few paragraphs in before I even realised she's been speaking to me 😮. Then I have to pretend I know what she's talking about 😂.
I am the dyslexic one. Didn't know till about late 2016ish I'm 35 now. This video makes 100% sense to me. I can fully relate to it. There are times that I am on top of my game and others when I am overwhelmed where I can't function as a normal adult. Those times are hard on my marriage.
So, being with a dyslexic partner has taught me something really wonderful that I have been given the opportunity, and I can see the opportunity that I offer myself to be with a dyslexic partner, being with a dyslexic partner has created a large level of patience. Also a large capacity and capability of explaining things in different ways choosing to be with a dyslexic partner has blessed me to be a more conscious human being, and also has gifted me a wonderful partner, a loving and caring lover I can say she is a sweet, wonderful person and more and more years will come and I stay I know that our patients are openness our transparency will only be a pinnacle for this relationship so it’s not about giving up to me is about keep on going because we are here to help each other out not to judge each other to help each other and I’m here for my wife and I know my wife is here for me so we got this …
Thank you so much for your video. I'm in a relationship with a dyslexic person, and all that you have said makes sense... now. I have been struggling to understand why we are arguing every week and to be told I don't have empathy. I find that I am always accused of doing something wrong, and there is no accountability acknowledged from them to our issues or heated arguments, which go from zero to 100 over trivial things or a misunderstanding. Also, I'm always being accused of looking elsewhere for someone else in our relationship, which is not true. So, your video did help me to understand the mindset, but it's very difficult as I have feelings too.
Oh I totally understand what you are saying - there is so much patience, kindness and empathy required to be in a relationship with a neurodiverse person. Both of you needs have to be met for it to be an equal relationship - I wish you lots of luck x
Hey vanessa im undiagnosed adhd in a relationship with a dyslexic and i suspect they are my twin flame. Its quite a mess but im learning so much in your videos, they are so helpful to help me navigate this relationship and be more understanding of the behaviours. Thank you ever so much!❤
I'm the dyslexic in the relationship. What drew me to my partner was the fact that he never belittles me. He also pushes me to complete tasks I struggle with but helps me do them at my own pace. I think the most I appreciate from my partner is that he knows my issues, but he doesn't let it define me.
My husband is dyslexic and we have the communication problems you talk about. Hopefully this info will help me to be more patient with him, thank you.
Hello Vanessa
I have only just started watching your videos and I want to thank you so much as I can relate. I am 58 and was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 52, whilst studying for a degree with the Open University here in the UK where I live. Unfortunately it took 6 more years until I learned that dyslexia also had a negative impact on every romantic relationship I ever had, as I was always told that I am not a good listener and recently a man broke up with me after only 4 months because he had no patience. My 21 year old daughter also presented me with the reality that I have a lot of the symptoms of ADHD as well.
It's a bitter pill to swallow. 😢
I married the love of my life 5 years ago knowing he was dyslexic but not understanding what that meant. I started searching about information because I have been feeling so overwhelmed with all that I do around the house and it has been making me angry because I felt like he was using dyslexia as an excuse. I have been researching all day and I am realizing that I have been being unfair in what I expect him to be able to do .
I'm dealing with the same issue. My husband has it. I'm trying to get him to do husband duties around the house that he doesn't want to do. Hus mom told me he had it, whem I asked him he claim he don't remember . I feel like I have 3 kids
I just broke up with my boyfriend because of bad communication but I thought it was something else affecting him and thought dyslexia was only reading and writing. It's been 3 days and I know he's going through hell and I don't know if I should try to get him back because I misunderstood him or just let him go😢
@@Melanatedbarbie1 this is so hard. i've been on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend several times on account of feeling extremely frustrated and misunderstood, and unable to understand why he's not listening to me, or not following through on things he's agreed to. it became really urgent recently, and I told him we need to figure this out, get on the same page, within a set amount of time or i'm going to have to go my separate way because i just can't take it anymore. through researching my frustrations and our communication issues, I stumbled upon the topic of adult dyslexia and it's explaining so much of our troublesome relationship dynamics and really clarifying a lot of things for me, and hopefully for both of us when we begin watching videos like this together.
@@Melanatedbarbie1 sharing in your confusion and sorrow, and wishing you the best ❤❤
My wife gets me to repeat things back to her. But, like you, I'm so open to being wrong that I even take the blame when it turns out I was actually right.
Planning - I used to be good at planning but I now get younger braind to PA me.
My biggest issue is taking what is in my brain and conveying that idea or knowledge into words either spoken or written. So making a point or argument is incredibly difficult.
I'm new here, so I hope that I come across a video that discusses that.
My partner (of almost 40 years) is also very right brained, a "numbers guy" he can get frustrated with me and I with him. But I know my issues and remind him of it weekly. 😉
Everything you've said has made prefect sense. Thank you 😊
I would be happy to talk sometime. I've been hoping to meet with someone else that gets it.
I;m 48 my long time relationship has broken down, communication, planning, short term memory problems all played a role! Reading, maths, spelling have always been a issue for me. I simply put it down to slow learning but I adapted and found other ways to solve problems. Today I took a dyslexia test and sored 8! A couple hours of research and learning... Just watched your video... OMG its like a veil has been removed.. all makes sense. Thank you so much.
Oh you are so welcome - so glad we could help you learn more about what is going on for you. Take care x
I'm 55 and never been in a real relationship with a girl because of my dyslexia and problems with verbal communication. It's bad enough in normal situations but if I'm around someone I find attractive it's a lot worse. Other than saying hello, I'd have no idea what to talk about and even if I did I'd trip over my words and say something that doesn't make any sense.
I am dyslexic and the thing I do all the time is think that someone has finished talking and they haven’t so I talk over them. I can tell by their face that they are angry so I get frightened to talk at all. Does anyone else do this?
Well been married for 14 years but been together for 19 years. Which I am the dyslexia one however my wife has brain injury and memory issues. She helps me which a lot of stuff but I also have to be on top of my game having two kids which quite a challenge. Also in the process of getting diagnose of ADHD is another string to my bow. Can’t lie it has been a strain on both of us and the kids. I think she got a lot of patients being with me which I am somewhat difficult at times.
We are both dyslexic. I also have ADD which drives my wife crazy sometimes. Right now we are most concerned with helping our 8 year old who is also dyslexic and really struggling with learning to read and write. I will add about our relationship that we have different dyslexic personalities. My wife is the over achieving dyslexic who will work extra to get where she wants to be in life. I am the kind that held himself back, making sure jobs were safe and reading and writing were not a big part of my duties.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Very interesting what you say about the difference in how you have channeled your challenges.
My boyfriend has dyslexia and I just broke up with him because of communication. He's a good person and I feel like I'm just misunderstanding him but it pisses me off so much about the communication thing. I know he's probably going through hell right now because I broke up with him but it's only been 3 days and I don't know what to do or say😢
I’m dyslexic and my life is a mess ,it’s soo frustrating!
It's probably not as bad as you think friend
My issues is finding someone and then also reading I am highly I'm working on it but it's just hard to find someone in my social
My daughter is similar to me but has very, very mild dyslexia. Is it possible someone can be barely dyslexic in spelling but have a strong dyslexic mind set?
Yes, absolutely - spelling is not accurate indicator of Dyslexia - there is much more to it than that.
I'm the Dyslexi and my wife is great a bout it
My wife's dyslexic. I just got diagnosed with adhd.. our communication is breaking us apart.
Went 40 years without a clue I just figured I am how I am try explaining that to someone they just think you are making excuses or being lazy. The amount of couples council I went through before being diagnosed with no real solution in sight.
At least I know there is a reason now it’s just getting the other half to understand it but after 17 years fuses can still be rather short a lot of the time.
If you can get your other half to watch some the videos we are putting out this month for dyslexia awareness, it might help. Once other people have awareness of what is going on, it can change everything for your relationship.
I am the dyslexic in my marriage. My husband doesn’t understand me at all. I have issues understanding, communicating, listening, and other stuff.
Sasly the person that invited me to her country was dyslexic and dyspraxia but could communicate that she was hiding a marriage and in wondering how much benifitnof doubt should i give cause dyslexia in this situation she presented as single not so much directly lie but never seemed to give direct answers and im wondering lying part of dyskexia or weeming like lying it was a tough experience im still trying to get answers or see if she will open up talk but sadly after all that she quickly retreated back to the marriage she told me was broken and wanted to leave
I can’t cope with relationships so have chosen to be single the thought of a relationship it frightens me.
Harri - I am sure there is someone out there that is perfect for you. But it of course, your choice.
Yeah but the world is soo messed up now. Everyone uses dating apps and they are rubbish due to there bad design and limitation. Its all about messaging which is complete hell. Gone are the days when you can go out to meet people. People just stay in their groups looking at dating apps like sheep at bars. 20 years ago i could just walk around a bar and chat to like 20 random people and everyone else did the same. It's crazy how much its changed.
Starting to think the same. I hate missing up and letting people down !
I have never been in a proper relationship. The expectations are anxiety-inducing. Trent Reznor beautifully expressed how I feel in his song Hurt. Yeah, it's a song about addiction, but It just resonates with who I am.
I have never been professionally diagnosed but think I am.
I’m finding men’s dyslexia if different from women in small ways, also it seems like most of dyslexia podcasts are British people, is there a higher number in British people that are dyslexic? I’m also 15% British, I’m just curious because I’ve been really diving into this since I just got diagnosed at age 47
I am the Neurotypical partner.
I have dyslexia and so did my mum 😢
I was married to a partner with undiagnosed issues - i believe im dyslexic + ADHD traits and we ended up divorced because we couldn’t communicate at all
I’ve been dyslexic my whole life and it’s a struggle
I totally understand that.
I'm in relationship with Dyslexia it's very hard on me, can you please give me some advice 🙏. Thanks
What if your not in a relationship with man or women but it affect your friendships with teachers
Dyslexia affects every sort of relationship, not just partners, but friendships (I could tell you some stories about that one), work relationships, parent relationships - all of them
I'm gonna tell you that sounds exactly like me from age 5 × 60 is what I am right now.I am so angry aninfrustrated that I did not get the proper help that I needed.I wanted to be AC.And a nurse❤❤❤❤❤
I AM dyslexic
I'm glad you found us.
am dyslexic ... was in my nothing box 🤣 man thinking about nothing and i was beside myself and then i was found
I always ask my wife to ensure I'm listening by using my name first. Otherwises she's a few paragraphs in before I even realised she's been speaking to me 😮. Then I have to pretend I know what she's
I just got out of a relationship and she didn't give me the same affection I am the dyslexic she said I was always woe is me and it was long distance so whatever I'm 29 next month and she was 22 and said she was auric but I don't believe her honestly but yeah I'm very angry
Two 😅 both us are at least dyslexia
I am the dyslexic relationship partner
My partner is autistic
My partner gets angry when i ask her to repeat somthing due to not hearing correctly
Dyslexic plus Autistic sounds interesting but really difficult - good luck