Hey, I have this problem and I’m trying to figure out what it is. My father was a covert narcissist who didn’t give a crap about us (my sister and I). Because of his negligence, I suffer from seeking attention which I feel like I don’t get enough of. I also have been told I am arrogant. I’m often times emotionally unavailable as well. Fourthly, I’m a perfectionist and am hard on myself to the point where I cry. Finally, I’ve had trouble with rage in the past, but it’s getting better! Am I a narcissist? Let me know!
Just wanted to share my experience. I was diagnosed with borderline at age 26. I have been working with mental health professionals since that time. I did a year of therapy for bpd and at age 37, I longer am considered borderline, I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria. I was told it gets better with age too. Regardless, with hard work you can get better. I feel for anyone dealing with bpd so wanted to offer you some hope. ❤️
As a clinical and forensic psychologist, I really respect and admire Dr. Ramani. There are a lot of "mental health professionals" on RUclips that have no idea what they are talking about, but she is truly a great resource, and I rarely say that.
Well when u got Tom Cruise telling Brook Shields to not take her meds acting like he knows anything about psychology period! He lives by L.Ron’s hate for psychology!
Hmmm.....she might one of the smartest people in the room! But not always! However, i do get your admiration. 'Always' statements are almost always wrong! Always is such a very, very high bar to jump over! As in impossible. But every once in a while an always statement seems to be correct. But, again, very rarely.
@@paulortiz8063 😉 I stand by my original statement. There are several types of intelligence. She rates extremely high on them all. But I get what you meant, I think. In a room of world renowned mathematicians, she probably wouldn't be #1 in mathematics. However, put her in the exact same room with the same group and test them on four random subjects and she'll take the trophy.
Agreed! But to refer to Paul, I see your point! She is definitely bright though, and knowledgeable on her work! Best I have seen so far! And the free info she puts out to everyone bc she wants to share and help, just shows her passion for psychology. THAT is why she has my trust!
I have BPD and definitely empathetic, there are a few bad people (like in every group of people) that give BPD a bad name. Plus there’s quiet BPD, where the rage is internal and the person takes it out on themselves, not others. I love Dr. Ramani as she gets the point across so well
I have quiet BPD. I'm also *overly* empathic & a bit of a people pleaser! I internalize everything from emotions to suicidal thoughts! I was called attention seeking & a bitch for mentioning when I was suicidal & because I'd also ask if the person would keep my meds for the night so I wouldn't have the opportunity to overdose if I became too suicidal because the last few times I overdosed, I had enough medication in my system to kill me. I was going to DBT group therapy & seeing a one on one therapist before COVID19 & the therapy has greatly helped my traits of BPD become more stable. I personally love DBT group therapy!
How the fuck do you give a personality disorder a bad name? You have fucking maladaptive behaviors. That’s like saying people with Autism who decide not to speak give autism a bad name. I’m not a fucking nice person. I don’t hurt myself as often as I hurt other people. I have a very limited ability to care about that. I live in a society that won’t let me die gracefully. Why the fuck do I have to take responsibility for that?
@@littlemonster2483 Aw thank you for sharing your experience, that's very brave of you. I relate with part of your experience. Not sure if I have BPD too, but I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and behaviors, so I understand the agony you must've been going through. I'm sorry you were called attention seeking and a bitch for opening up about something so personal. That's awful. But I'm glad to hear you benefited so much from DBT. Thank you for holding on. Stay strong and keep fighting.
I’m a 41 yr old female from the Bronx. Around 2010 I became so suicidal n depressed but had a son to raise, so decided to start therapy because I didn’t know which other way to go. I couldn’t leave my baby in that way. I did the DBT!!! It was the hardest thing in the world for me. I was super broke n got on that train without wanting too-daily. Five day’s a week, 2 or 3 hours every single morning for 6 months... If one was 5 minutes late u couldn’t enter. It saved my life... ❤️ ❤️
i admire you so much for reaching out and getting help for the sake of yourself and your son. many parents dont get help and that can pass onto their children
@@agawdsparadise3782 Stay strong my man, keep searching for solutions & you'll surely find one. I'm searching aswell. Take it day by day, you got this brother🙏🏾
Jenny, So very proud of you! Tough choices, but you continually made the right choice. That, to me, is true courage! May God bless you & your son. Will pray for you.
@@danielgonzalez5787 i’m not being sarcastic or anything, i agree, that’s literally why healthcare and mental health is abysmal (particularly in the states) because _profit over health_ 🤷🏽♀️ it’s sick and twisted
she’s definitely my favorite therapist on medcircle by far. everything she says resonates so deeply with me that it’s brought me to tears a couple times. i have borderline along with multiple other diagnoses and i’ve never watched anything that hits home and makes me feel understood like her and her words. she’s incredible and anyone that gets the privilege to work with her/be her patient should be very grateful.
thank you, from someone diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II, adhd; medicated since 14, blah blah. this made me cry. the appropriate therapy, with the right therapist, that's affordable enough to be sustainable for a lifetime? how often does this happen? asking the for 99;9% of the population that will never come close to even comprehending this.. 🙋🏻♀
@MedCircle Dr. Ramani is soooooo intelligent and doesn’t just explain topics without all the research, and why certain words are wrongly categorized- and she breaks down and explains these incredibly difficult topics in a layman form for people not of the medical world to understand. And she’s very humble and nonjudgmental. Love her.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I am guilty of reacting via text messaging but I also do get highly emotional but I have not harmed myself in over a year to have myself sent to inpatient in well over a year and that's a amazing!
I am always impressed and amazed how Dr. Ramani can discuss these complex ideas and topics so simply, like chatting with a long time friend! I feel like she could do it forward, backward, and standing on her head with no nites. Her warm yet strong delivery is so validating... love it!
“There is tremendous hope for people with borderline personality disorder” she says, with continued therapy, commitment to wellness, etc. the worst outcomes are with the group B folks who rank very low in morality or in even seeing that there’s any problem at all. Those things stand in the way.
The fact that she was so honest about the hope for these disorders makes me very happy. Professionals have told me in relation to my mental disorders that there is so much hope and it makes me feel bad cause I don’t feel like I’m getting better. I feel like I’m disappointing them and there is so much hope, yet not for me. I wish more people will real like she is.
In my country Portugal ive been to 3 different psychologists and no one ever told me whats the matter with me. With the years i calmed down but had strong bpd traits. I wonder if i had an explosive bpd that became quiet type. Or if im neurodivergent and have some kind of autism going on. Or both. Never got clarity. Just want to tell you...dont blame yourself...improvement takes many years...theres always ups and downs...theres events that trigger crisis moments. If your therapists are good they know about it. Dont beat yourself up, its already hard to open up and show up for an appointment.
It's hard because you're in it right now. The more you can buy into thinking highly of yourself, working hard on dispelling all the thought distortions, the better. For me, I'm convinced time has a lot to do with it also, plus life situations. Don't give up, cuz you'll be amazed at what peaceful really is when you get there.
This was a seriously great interview. The host didn't interrupt and was able to really keep in mind how the audience was thinking, and Dr. Ramani is so good at explaining things in a way that's relevant to those seeking answers. She definitely has a lot to say. Thanks so much!
@@YugiohRules10001 ❤❤❤ I agree. I think she has her own bias but there are other videos from other people (wish I remembered names) that have less negative rhetoric. Don't give up
You gotta realize that the personality disorders make the social environment suffer - often more than the person themselves. This description of what it's like to deal with a cluster-b type of person at the worse times isn't is not an unfair judgemental condemnation, it's just straightforward. It makes sense that you would have those disorders but only suffer from the ADHD.
I am neurodivergent and for years people on the spectrum were made out to be these people that lacked empathy. It is totally not true and if anything they can be highly empathic once they learn how to analyze or 'read' situations. But the thing is...those misunderstandings that started in the psychiatric community WERE corrected but they can persist in pop culture. I would say if you want to be your best self, it is going to be similar to what a person on the spectrum or ANYONE needs to do. Write down what areas you struggle in especially if they relate to social interaction. Get more objective feedback from friends. Make action plans. Get help for anything that seems enduring that you are struggling with from a therapist who you can connect with... I feel like a lot of traits are not inherently bad or good either, they are helpful or unhelpful or harmful to others in excess etc. So sometimes it's about scaling things back. Also if you find that you have tendencies that you dislike about yourself and want to work on...think of when and how you would be most open to sharing a new side of yourself. What I find interesting is therapies with animals. Provided you like animals (and from your concern and interest in learning more likely a great deal of interest in doing the right thing) and are safe with them...animals are great across the board. There are tons of research articles about how learning to care for or tend to an animal can help with feelings related to connection/ peace / love. Animals have been shown to help a lot of people with personality disorders. And those on the spectrum. Another idea is to be the person that defies the stereotypes of your diagnoses. If you are a patient that works at change, shows growth and counters their preconceptions with growth...it could change how they even look at the possibility of growth and change and thus alter how they see the condition itself. I am trying to do the same by showing that not every neuroatypical person has a low EQ (emotional quotient) as that is largely something that can be learned :) (and we are good at categorization so now if we apply what we learn we can improve our lives and our relationships too.). Don't give up and know I hope you feel less alone soon and also feel this is possible. Also...I don't think all therapists work the best with all clients. If you have a therapist who does seem judgmental or whatnot, try to find one who works for you. :)
i think she's just talking in general when she says that people diagnosed with one of personality disorders in Cluster B almost always lack empathy. We all know she always perfectly knows what she's talking about. She could have said it in a better way, yes, but it's obvious she's not referring to EVERY person diagnosed with BPD or whatever.
When they say lacks empathy they don't mean completely all the time. Its just that we can quickly get so angry our empahy goes out the door. At leaset thats the way it is for me. It comes back fuill force which is why i'm borderline and not a psychopath.. but when its gone its gone.. could be 5 minutes.. a few hours. Not much more.
@@overimagination2812 sorry if i ask, but your getting a lot angry is a "normal" reaction? i mean, anger is a common feeling but i feel like we don't experience anger the same you guys do.
I've noticed a tendency among the individuals with BPD in my own life, that they tend to exaggerate their empathic ability. It's part of the reason I don't trust the "empath" label, especially self-applied. They have affective empathy, meaning others' emotions infect their own, and then their insecurity exaserbates it. But they're terrible at cognitive empathy, understanding the relationship between mood and thought/ circumstance, due to the distortions of their disordered thinking. And their ability to access empathy fluctuates based on their level of and response to stress. When they learn to connect the dots on their own moods and triggers, they do get better at it, but it's a very slow process.
My ex did that to her psychiatrist. She used to go for her ADHD Meds and used to sit and ask the doctor how was she doing and othat was it. Stared at her. Expect her to give the prescription . The doctor just stopped returning her calls. Ghosted her. My ex was a narcissist
As a medical doc, I believe so much that every doc from different specialities have to learn these personality disorders! It’s so important to help you understand patients!
I gotta say, Dr. Ramani, you are the awesomest !! You explain so clearly, I feel like I'm taking psy 101 in uni listening to you. Seriously I have grown exponentially in 1 year, listening to your channels. And Kyle, you're a great interviewer, very thoughtful, so well prepared, asking key questions, serious yet kindly mannered. Thank you to both of you.
I have too much empathy. To the point I even feel sorry for assholes. I have full BPD and I'm too empathetic. It's painful I feel everything. I only lack it when I feel severely depressed or traumatized by someone.
@@Josec823 wtf? Feeling sorry for a person is empathy. you have to actually put yourself in someones shoes to feel sorry for them, hence why psychopaths born with no empathy have no remorse and dont feel sorry for their victims. what are you even talking about??
@@NicoleQuimper I thought that for a long time but found out different when I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for others is usually projection. And pity only makes people feel pathetic. Empathy knows what they need and does it.
People offended by her using the word hopeless.. I get that the people offended took it to a extreme personal level because they have that disorder but people shouldn’t be listening to the advice of someone who is offended and has a bias against these types of people who talk in depth about what it’s like being around these people. I get they feel exposed and are trying to make her use other words that are more “sensitive” but sometimes there is a harsh reality you’re not going to like. I respect her for being so honest even though people with BPD or narcissism try to attack her and build a group against her.
I have BPD unspecified. What you don’t understand is that’s condescending to people with personality disorders about accepting harsh realities is fucking annoying, reactive, and short sited. It’s a tell that your susceptible to manipulation and scared about it. You can not moment to moment understand why we’re so fucking extreme and that’s terrifying. It’s belittling to your own experiences. If you were healthy you would avoid that. When someone tells me they’re is no hope and yet there are wildly fucking disinteresting. Then I have to face a society that won’t allow me to die gracefully or punish me for “ abusive” behavior. It’s like ammunition, a lovely excuse not to regulate your aggression.
Should I plan to live near my alcoholic, anti social personality exhibiting, bipolar violent relative? Or is it really hopeless? I was probably aware already, it's hopeless! That's what all the grief over her is about, still it's important to know what others have found when they tried.
Looking forward to watching it. Met someone online that I suspect may be histrionic. Very interesting and unusual person, but very kind (and self-conscious enough she seems to think she has to remind others of that rather than letting her actions speak for themselves). We met because out of the blue, she decided to ask me (a random stranger at the time) if I was interested in NSFW RP. Like I said, very interesting and unusual person, but very friendly and nice.
@@101jir it seems hpd dx people are nice and friendly. This disorder may be dropped from the DSM. If it is co morbid with another cluster B, then you have a different situation. I could be wrong, just my observation
“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see ...each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition-- all such distortions within our own egos-- condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other. That's how it is in all living relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other's naked hearts.” ― Tennessee Williams
I really liked this video i have bpd and i got angry with Dr Ramani and posted some comments on a video she did on covert narrcsssim i was upset because i felt like she wasn't giving a balanced opinion on her channel. This is exactly what I needed her to say so that people aren't automatically demonizing cluster b personality without having a balanced explanation. Thanks to her for doing it when she did.
I looooove Dr. Ramani and she knows so much! I just dont understand why she says people with BPD lack empathy cuz its just not true in mine and others experience. In certain situations I can lack empathy but I definitely have a huge capacity to feel empathy and a lot of other people with BPD do too.
I think she's painting with too wide a brush, and is allowing the overgeneralization wrt BPD, because *sometimes* BPD people are so wrapped up in *their* issues, that they do kind of lack empathy for those they are hurting by being so
Narc Helsin i agree, shes just overgeneralizing, its understandable though, she has to get such a large amount of info out in such a small time so she cant entirely specify everything. i just hope people dont think we dont have the capacity for empathy. of course we can lack empathy sometimes, i think everyone does, but i just think when a psychologist says "people with bpd lack empathy" more people interpret that as "unable to feel empathy" like what people think about sociopaths or something
@@rcfreaks6281 wrong. Not all people with BPD have every single symptom. I've never had issues with empathy. I'm saying this because I've been through therapy with a partner and my parents. So, not all lack empathy.
RC Freaks you anger me because people with BPD absolutely have empathy. And also because with DBT and with proper medication you can absolutely get better. Look at Sammi Grimm she’s had a boyfriend for years and she says she doesn’t even get mad at him.
holotropic breathwork cuts right through the subconcious pain causing disorders. Gets the thinking brain ouut of the way and releases deep conflicting emotions.
As she mentioned in the video having a cluster B disorder and these other things can be quite difficult because you are constantly fighting two battles at the same time and that can be very difficult.
If I could actually afford to pay for therapy I would love to have Dr. Ramani as my therapist. I have been diagnosed Bipolar 1 and there's a string chance of a diagnosis of BPD. There is also a chance of being on the Autism Spectrum. I feel like she is just so experienced that she could tell me what my problem is for sure
I talk about my experience with BPD on my channel and instagram because of the stigma around us being difficult! But I agree the majority of us with BPD want help so badly. Sometimes we can be too empathetic it can come across as sarcastic and that we don’t really care. The truth is that we do soo much.
Aha...so and how does it help your victims when they know you treated them badly because you felt too much? Just stupid! Just do your therapy or keep away from people. These are the only empathic and decent things you can do!!!
Gold Vogel this is disgusting behaviour, at the end of the day it’s still an illness that needs treatment. Unfortunately there is no treatment for a jackass like you. So if you can’t be kind, get out of here!
Dr Ramani is my new hero 😍 I just started my bachelors degree in Psychology so I'm watching these to get an overall idea of personality disorders and treatment modalities and I've learned so much!
She is amazing. I lived with suicidal ideation for nearly 17 years and haven't had an attempt in almost 2 years (bc of how close it was). I was misdiagnosed bipolar 2 about six years ago and my family couldn't fully understand it and just thought it was depression and Bipolar when ALOT of my symptoms fell under BPD. I met with another psychiatrist a year ago and she confirmed I had BPD so now I've begun my process of DBT and trying intense therapy, it's been very helpful so far.
Dr. Ramani... you have so inspired me. I have Aspburgers, but knew there was something else broken inside me. Watching your interviews I am now certain I am type 4 BPD. Inspired by your brilliance I am writing a book/screenplay giving the protagonist type 1 BPD. I want the world to know more about mental illness. So if “the mulberry man” is a big hit then I hope it can make a difference. Anyways thx so much for all your help!
Dr. Ramen is right on. An individual with a personality disorder has substantial difficulties in all areas in life. Not just work or relationships. I do wish there was more research in regards to how to cope with individuals with these disorders, rather than listing their characteristics.
@@rayharris1093 In my views, only a Therapist can assist individuals with personality disorders. He/she has to be diagnosed with the specific disorder. Personally, I hold a B.S. in Psychology. My job is completely different and not related to PSY. I do watch tons of PSY related YT since that was my interest in college many years ago.
Absolutely every word resonates in my mind. Thank you for making this video and others. You help. This is both my reaction and considered, thankful response.
@Cocain from Jesus It is true... You learn a lot. Another woman to be very guenuine is on youtube. Susan Winter on all kind of men/woman & dating & relationship issues. I think another good youtube videos are from. Susan Winter Tony Gaskins Derrick Jaxn R.C. Blakes jr. Sam Vaknin John Gottman The attachment theory The 5 love languages Bless you and good luck to understand human behavior and their needs. And take good care🌹
(Deanne) I am not diagnosed with pd, but lately I sense that I am being ultra selfish, and being told so. All your information is helping me see what I need to correct or change, I think being autistic leads my imperfect perceptions of my world or circumstances and is hugely challenging to correct my bad habits or patterns of behavior. Thank you for your insight!
I did feel guilty for a long time. Then I realized that putting someone in quarantine when they are ill is an act of LOVE. Love for both sides. No contact is an act of love because the person struggled with keeping themselves from lashing out and I struggle with my own reactionary actions. I try and stop and sort stuff and respond. Even to my own inner voices. Gently guiding them to reparenting helped me calm and sort myself.
Please stop the continued stigma surrounding anti-social personality disorders. I have ASPD. Not all of us are evil, horrid people. The majority of my friends have said multiple times that I'm the nicest person they know. That said, I've been in therapy and seen a psychiatrist 17 years.
Amazing you get help that proves not all anti social types are evil.Possibly it's much more complex than assumed. I wish there was a way to get through the types that are completely convinced they are absolutely fine the way they are.It seems impossible because when someone decides hurting you works for them where do you go from there? LOL!!!
@@hesterp7089 People I don't like for whatever reason I've fabricated... don't you think you're making some huge assumptions about me? Well, people with ASPD in general? Have you ever stopped to think that making such broad assumptions that all people with ASPD pick random people and are sadistic and evil towards them for no reason, is just as bad and horrible as the people you're generalizing? Were you hurt or traumatized by someone with ASPD? Guess what- so was I. It's all that cruelty and abuse that caused me to develop ASPD. People have all sorts of different reactions to being abused their whole life, and this was mine. But I don't want to hurt people. I genuinely love people. I would rather be friends over enemies with someone. I got help, and with continued medication and other treatment, I'm able to manage my symptoms. You think we just pick someone out, make up a reason to hate them and prey on them, and that's just not how that works. That's a pretty childish view of how someone with ASPD is in everyday life.
@@ices3456 Yeah- the types out there that are convinced that they're fine, don't need help, ectera- those people can be frightening. They go through life not understanding how much destruction and chaos they cause in people's lives. ASPD has a good outcome long term, as long as they get treatment. But if you're diagnosed with ASPD, you HAVE to get treatment. Continued treatment.
I feel like I was with someone with bpd. I think he’s got every cluster. He goes to extremes on all levels. He’s very empathetic & good as gold. He jumped into a lake & opened his eyes to find some old guys glasses. Then he ended up getting his own eyes infected & now he has to wear glasses. Then, he gets so angry. He’s always gets into fights. He’ll beat up a whole group of guys by himself. He’s a really good & skilled fighter. He’s extremely good at every single thing he does & he’s a bit cocky cause he knows it. He’s good-looking & very likable. He’s super funny & helpful. Then, he starts getting mad & wants to fight the world. His tone of voice turns cold & black. I would describe his aura from going from the purest white to the darkest black. You never know what he’ll do. I think he’s capable of doing anything. I don’t think he even knows what he’ll do. Then, he starts crying & turns into a little boy. It’s crazy cause he’s like real manly, then to see him cry like a little boy is unreal. He starts drinking alcohol & starts hitting himself. Then he goes back to being loving & charming within an hour. Lol. Then he goes from being loving to saying the most hurtful things. I won’t even see it coming. I feel so confused of what’s going on. He’ll change the subject & start telling bogus lies. Then I’m mad cause I’m like do you really think I’m so stupid that I would believe that. Then in his little kid manner he’s like I’m not lying. Why do you think I’m lying. 🤦♀️ He doesn’t seem to hold onto jobs even though he’s always the best at whatever he does. That guy can even cook good but something always happens & he’s looking for any job again. I love him but he wears me out. I don’t want to give up on him especially since he don’t do good with abandonment. His dad didn’t believe he was his real son & would beat him since he was real young. Then at age 14 his mom moved him out to live by himself in an apartment like 2 hours away. She would fill up his fridge with beer & food every Sunday, then she would leave. He really loved his mom then she later died of cancer. He had a sister die from narcotics, & a son die at birth from a previous gf. I want to help him so bad, but I’m not strong enough. I can’t give him the help he needs. He was super good when I got with him. He would go to church with me. On Sunday’s that I worked he would go to church with my brother & family. They all loved him which is a very rare thing to happen. I love him but he causes me problems. Like he causes me to be late for work. Then I speed trying to make it to work on time. I get a speeding ticket & am late for work. I’ve never been late for work. Then I’m tired at work & have accidents with equipment. I feel bad bc I feel like ppl are more important than work but I’ve got to take care of me too especially since he can’t keep a job. Idk why I even put this all on here. I just mainly meant to say I think he has every trait from every cluster. He even does the isolation bit.
I am disappointed by some of the language used. You have definitely made something sensationalistic out of something that is supposed to be educational. Although, there were some redeeming points about BPD that you did not say previously. "Hopeless" seems like an inappropriate word to use for anyone. All of these diagnoses are people too.
Thank you very much. Didn't she pledge the hippocratic oath? She is completely neglecting their humanity and stigmatising/ antagonising them. I support a lot of what she is doing. But not the way she's doing it (sensationalising). I honestly think that she has her own set of issues and therefore unaware of the harm that she's doing.
If you knew anyone with BPD, you'd know that she's not sensationalizing anything lmaoo. It is a highly treatment resistant disorder and it takes so much work and mental upkeep that even the slightest deviation from treatment can cause the person to revert to their maladaptive habits. While not everyone with BPD is a threat to society, they are still often emotionally unstable, making it hard for those around them to know how to approach them. Hopeless isn't a great word, but if you understand the disorder then you understand where she's coming from.
I've seen some of her other videos and she really has a bone to pick with NPD people. NPD can be extremely cruel but they can also be genuinely sweet. I also don't like that she dismisses HPD as not real. There's some debate about it maybe being a subcategory of NPD, but it's certainly real in that the set of traits are real albeit uncommon.
My friend faked empathy to me for years. Where I found out it’s faking was when I had a near-cancer diagnosis (it’s still unknown what type of growth it was after surgical removal), and she couldn’t stop talking about herself and all the great stuff she has achieved (it’s old stuff that was told to me numerous times before). I had no support, no one to talk to about my condition. I wrote poetry about it and she took those poems and read it to a bunch of people. Told my story with my words but made it her own. The last 6 months I’ve come to realise everything she did, was because she wanted something out of it, from me. Once I stopped my “giving nature” I’m on the silent side of chats, don’t get invited to her “inner circle get together”. She discarded me so quick after I actually needed her.
I come to this team to help me understand the DSM5. I’ve also learned to be more compassionate and understand my self♥️thank you for another wonderful session Dr. Durvasula and Kyle
There needs to be informative, creditable material regarding personality disorders, specifically ASPD, and the impact on parenting. I haven’t been able to find any research on how it impacts parenting and the trauma and damage done to the child to support my own situation. My child’s father has a textbook case of ASPD, and it is absolute hell. Regardless of evidence, the court system continues to support these parents. Victims escape and then family court creates a legal revenue so their manipulation, abuse, and control can continue.
I wasted a year with a therapist who only said, "The bigger the problem, the deeper the root", and gave me nothing else. I turned to books, meditation and RUclips to solve my problems. I had high anxiety, narcissism full of self-sabotage, and possibly a personality disorder. I can't say it's over, but I am light years away from a dysfunctional psyche. Meditating from 30 to 180 minutes daily worked for me. I didn't stick to one style of meditation, I kept open to whatever came my way and was diligent, People gave me recordings and that which was instantly gibberish was trashed. I trust my High Self.
I'm bipolar and go from full mania to phycosis at times and then spiral to depression very quickly. I also have BPD and I do have a very empathetic nature. My care co-ordinaters upon leaving always say I've been great to work with and are always sad to say goodbye. I've recently become aware that I attract narssists and have family members who have narsistic traits and I find them so difficult to be around. I'm always trying to self educate and evolve as a person - mentally and spiritually. I'm a gay male 37 and have not been in a relationship for 5 years and hoping I can find somebody who is healthy minded. I'm actually very self reliant and am happy with my own company (and my cats :))! ) I also have epilepsy and thyroid disease. I have met many BPD people who I find very difficult and I try to avoid people with this illness - even though I have it myself.
I have BPD and I feel no empathy when I am angry and I say things that when I calm down I absolutely hate myself and feel so upset and sad and hurt to the point it is physically painful. When I'm happy I feel like I can take on the world and that I can accomplish anything and the world is my oyster, I make rash decisions and don't think things through which puts me in bad/uncomfortable/dangerous/vulnerable and a lot of the time regretful situations. I can go from wanting to hang out with someone and talk with them for weeks beforehand and then when I have led them on I clam up and cut them off. I do this with no restraint and almost with no feelings or cares about how the other person is affected. I don't trust anyone, so it is hard for me to give anyone a chance. I feel like I always go back to abusive relationships or ex partners that have done horrific things to me instead of getting into a new relationship with someone I don't know as well in fear that they will see some kind of neediness in me, or that I'm too wild, too opinionated, or too much to handle, or not enough. I would rather be potentially hurt or even killed by someone I have been with for years because I know they won't leave me (I know I can leave them and that gives me a sence of power) instead of taking a leap of faith and really finding true love and being happy and treated like I'm loved... that is nuts. I'm also afraid that if I do find that, they will leave me and trust me when I say when I've been abandoned or even feel like someone would potentially do that to me I will cut them off in a second because that feeling is the most gut wrenching heart breaking emotionally draining hurtful most lonely and empty and just such a dark place to be and I am absolutley terrified of that to the point I will put my own life at risk to not go through that ever again... I need and want help... No one will because I can't afford it and the stigma that BPD carries makes everyone treat me like a freak and they think I will be too much to handle, yet again. FML.
I was diagnosed in 2017 with unspecified personality disorder., after major depressive episode.With no follow up. I rely on youtube channels to help me understand it better.
What happens if you were fine for the first half of your life but after being screwed over so many times, you become cluster B, and that in turn causes people to make life difficult for you because THEY'RE the ones who are cluster B?
This is the most amazing video I have seen thus far. I am going to show this to my boyfriend because I want him to have a better understanding of my BPD diagnosis.
I have listened to this countless times and each time, I learn something new and come to a clearer understanding these disorders. Dr. Ramani is so amazing.
One of the common behaviors of personalities that are incapable of empathy, is they will hurt you even when you do not know them nor done something to them.
I’d love to see a video on cluster A, the schizo-affective disorders. I have a brother who is schizophrenic, but I struggle to understand this diagnosis!
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are not considered personality disorders. But schizoid and schizotypal are considered personality disorders...
I tried to get therapy from my old therapist for narcissistic abuse and got turned away because I wasn’t suicidal. Not even my own psychiatrist listens and even implies that my narcissistic mother that I live with actually loves me. I’m completely alone 😔.. now I know what them, sociopaths, and psychopaths are, and they terrify me. My diagnoses are major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. thank you guys
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching her phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Cybertech-tracker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats_app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
oh my gosh I felt such immense shame when they spoke about not sending intense emails. untill now I did not think not sending those emails was an option.
Huh. I’m against society, and have social anxiety, but antisocial personality disorder is wildly different from anything I find myself experiencing. Overall though, I have a definite tendency to what I’ve found on avoidant personality traits.
I've always questioned If I have BPD. Overtime and learning more about it has me believing so, but I'm still not 100% sure of it. A few parts in this video confirmed I do.. I already knew deep down honestly but thank you🙏 I really needed this.♡ When my heart and my head registered it, all I could do was break down for a moment... I really am sick.😩😪🥀💔
You might not have it, see a therapist if you’d like to know, you could waste your time dealing with one thing when it could be something else. Speaking from personal experience
i'd definitely encourage you to seek a therapist before you grieve such a scary diagnosis. there was a point in time where i met almost every symptom and tested into severe BPD, but i never had it. combined with my social anxiety and ocd tendencies my therapist quickly recognized it as autism. gl
Thank you both for taking the time to share your advice, support, experience and knowledge with me. I will definitely take note of your words. 🥀 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 🥀
What does it mean if they "become someone else, when socializing " Refuse to bond in person, yet believe online people are true connections? Become extremely dismissive of their mate while being nice to others,in front of them?
U mean diagnosis? My therapist said the same thing that it doesnt really matter cuz it all comes down to similar treatment. There is no specific treatment for every illness its mostly cognitive challenging ur thoughts and nothing taking everything srs and personal. Practicing empathy and questioning people's intentions instead of assuming and feeling betrayed and hurt
@SVG At last yeah i guess haha thats whats so scary about personality disorders. Some people r experts at deception its terrifying haha. They can really convince u of their innocence. Masters of manipulation. Where does one learn how to manipulate in the first place its very disturbing haha. They literally seem possessed. No conscious or guilt whatsoever
Maybe for some people, but when I got my aspd and npd diagnoses I was able to go to pd specialists and get proper treatment. It's helping me manage my impulses so I can stay out of jail and still have the life I want.
Shit, I forgot people in the US have to pay for healthcare. That sucks so unbelievably much that you might have all the things you need laid out in front of you for treatment, but you just...can't afford it. That is ridiculous.
I’m here because I think my younger brother has HPD. What she said about living with them is so true, it really does feel like I’m walking on eggshells when I interact with him. Say or do the wrong thing and he might pop off in an instant. He’s super self consumed in how he looks and what he owns. He carries himself in an aggressive and intimidating manner. Is SUPER easily influenced (at a time almost ended up dead cause he was super addicted to xanx because his idol lil peep was) he drives super aggressive and fast especially if a car “slower” than his tries to pass him up. If you try to have an intelligent conversation with him he’ll do everything he can to belittle your stance, which often ends up in arguments. I used to think he was just a weirdo douche bag but I decided to google what a word for people like him was and hpd came up and all I gotta say is damn, knew something was wrong with the kid. He seriously needs therapy. He’s all alone in this world (besides our family) and I want him to be able to have healthy relationships and not look down on everyone.
With mental health care and treatment. Its very rare that you will be cured, you talk through your trauma or issues and you learn new coping skills. Its a daily battle and you may have days where your slipping back into a dark place.
I spent 6-7 years working on borderline pd (along with bipolar and other disorders), working every second of every day bc I could not handle living the way I was anymore. I dealt with it for over two decades. I am proud to say that about 3 years ago, my psychiatrist took it off my chart! I also know someone who had ASPD and she ended up in prison and she had a baby in there and, bc of her child, she changed her lifestyle and has full custody and now she has remorse and so much empathy. She works to help others in her situation and she's incredible. I went into the same type of work But the thing with both of us is we did it for our daughters and for ourselves. No one made us change. And I, sadly, don't see ppl changing with these pds unless they have an almost life or death reason for doing so. But that's just my experience with ppl with cluster B... I can't say this as a blanket statement, ofc
Love these two together! I’ve watched many of their MedCircle interviews and they work very well together. Such interesting topics and very informative as well.
I just would like to express my deepest gratitude for the enlightening work that your channel is doing in removing the veil of occult from these so urgent issues, as the world spins in psychiatric epidemic. Your channel and the wonderful speakers that are invited are giving us necessary skills to navigate in our more insane, difficult, and turbulent world. Thank you very much.
The first therapist I found for my daughter (who was later labeled borderline) was young and sweet and my daughter eventually started telling me that she loved to make up stuff to tell the therapist because she could scare the therapist and that was entertaining. Eventually we found an older therapist who was not as easily hoodwinked. But that young one really believed that I was evil and cruel and if i'd only listen to my poor daughter everything would be better. The older one - she called me in to a session and my daughter talked about me ignoring her and i brought up something that had happened 2 weeks earlier when I knocked on her door to say good night as usual and she wouldnt say goodnight, so I asked if she was ok, and she didnt want to talk to me, so i came in and closed the door, "It doesnt even matter, you dont care" " of course I care' "I dont even think its worth trying, we'll never have a good relationship" "I definitely think its worth trying" "Well I just DONT WANT to talk to you!" . . . and finally I say ok, its past my bedtime. Yeah after that the therapist stopped trying to work with me . . . my daughter believed it was because I would never change. and of course I believed it was because i wanst the problem. of course saying that out loud always makes me fear I'm actually the crazy one, tho everyone else in my life says its not me - adn my sister is exactly the same way, so abusive to my mom that some of her health aides have quit because they can handle her being cruel to them, but not to my 83 year old mother. anyways, once again, this really helps put my mind at ease and helps put things in perspective. No hope but at least some perspective.
I really liked the doctor and Kyle. They are doing a great job. I finally have understood the different personality disoeders. I am emotionally supporting a family member with these type of problems. I could hear the doctor all day long. Thank you for doing this and helping others.
WHAT AN AMAZING INTERVIEW/ VIDEO!!! Thank you so much for organizing (by explaining in a very clear way) all the types into groups that sounds way more understandable. Finally! I was very confused. 👏🏼👌🏼 Such a great Doctor she is! I have so much of appreciation towards her and her contributions in this field.
I thought this video was going to talk about the stigmas associated with the disorders so it's not what i was expecting. Regardless, i don't think that BPD is explained well enough to be properly understood in this video. To say that they lack empathy is untrue, it can certainly seem that way to people on the other side of it and it's hugely misunderstood.
Those who suffer from BPD have affective empathy and can be quite sensitive to it, but the distortions of the disordered thinking prevent the mechanism of cognitive empathy from firing correctly.
I have BPD but I can turn off my empathy for periods of time. I can flip a switch and become cold for as long as needed. Maybe it is a result of black and white thinking, where I can view someone as being so awful that they deserve it. When I am feeling grounded and more centered, I have great empathy. My empathy seems to be linked to my self-image and the state of my sense of self. When my self image becomes negative, I can easily justify not having empathy. When I feel good about myself (maybe even feel superior to others) there is less desire to manipulate. I think I developed the ability to be ruthless as a survival tool.
I have BPD along with Bipolar I would say from my own experiences I can’t say I have no empathy but it takes a lot for me to feel moved for someone’s situation. I think for myself I never had any compassion come from others when I needed it so I tend to see it on a scale of if you deserve it. No body came and rescued me out of my hell so I tend to feel you have to find your own strength within yourself to help and learn how to deal with your own behavior and problems. I didn’t have the luxury of being weak and rescued so why should I feel responsible to help someone else. I’m just being honest on how my illnesses effect me. I believe the disorder most definitely doesn’t effect everyone the same way. There are plenty people with BPD that have an extreme amount of empathy and compassion and some not so much. Different people have lived very different lives and their makeup is going to cause people to react back out to the world in very different ways so those of you that lump all people the same because they have a certain illness your dumb ass is showing. Just because you had a relationship or two with someone with BPD doesn’t mean everyone with that diagnosis is exactly the same🙄I mean come on your ex is probably saying the same shit about you👍👍👍👍
Watch the rest of our exclusive series on all 10 personality disorders (featuring Dr. Ramani) instantly HERE: bit.ly/3iRXGci
Hey, I have this problem and I’m trying to figure out what it is. My father was a covert narcissist who didn’t give a crap about us (my sister and I). Because of his negligence, I suffer from seeking attention which I feel like I don’t get enough of. I also have been told I am arrogant. I’m often times emotionally unavailable as well. Fourthly, I’m a perfectionist and am hard on myself to the point where I cry. Finally, I’ve had trouble with rage in the past, but it’s getting better! Am I a narcissist? Let me know!
Xoxo♀️♀️🏳️🌈🎵💄🙏👍🤗⚔️🎤🏳️🌈🎵😘🤣📻😇🎶😍DR.RAMANI
I love her 💕
I want her to be my therapist.
@@alexdeleon7829 is a
I LOVE watching RamaniCircle! I mean MedCircle.
i could listen to her talk about mental health for hours
I have 😅😍
Same.
☝️I’ll third that
I've subscribed to her youtube channel to do just this
So do I
Just wanted to share my experience. I was diagnosed with borderline at age 26. I have been working with mental health professionals since that time. I did a year of therapy for bpd and at age 37, I longer am considered borderline, I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria. I was told it gets better with age too. Regardless, with hard work you can get better. I feel for anyone dealing with bpd so wanted to offer you some hope. ❤️
Aren't you able to collect ssdi?
thank you for sharing !!
Bpd is lifelong neurological I dunno who told you it goes away
@Dryer Machine my neice is bpd an collects ssdi for her Disability
@Dryer Machine I've got Jesus Christ why would I need a doctor I'm fearfully and wonderfully made an of SOUNDMIND son get that control device on 😷🤫
As a clinical and forensic psychologist, I really respect and admire Dr. Ramani. There are a lot of "mental health professionals" on RUclips that have no idea what they are talking about, but she is truly a great resource, and I rarely say that.
Well when u got Tom Cruise telling Brook Shields to not take her meds acting like he knows anything about psychology period! He lives by L.Ron’s hate for psychology!
I second this, also being a clinical therapist. She is good
What do you think of psych2go?
@@tanabatagaming it’s trash
@@andrewwenner2781 his hate is for psychiatry which is a branch of medicine. Psychologists don’t prescribe medications or attend medical school.
Dr. Ramani is a living encyclopedia. She'll always be the smartest person in the room. Great interview. 🌻
Amen to that!!
Hmmm.....she might one of the smartest people in the room!
But not always! However, i do get your admiration.
'Always' statements are almost always wrong! Always is such a very, very high bar to jump over! As in impossible.
But every once in a while an always statement seems to be correct. But, again, very rarely.
@@paulortiz8063 😉 I stand by my original statement. There are several types of intelligence. She rates extremely high on them all. But I get what you meant, I think. In a room of world renowned mathematicians, she probably wouldn't be #1 in mathematics. However, put her in the exact same room with the same group and test them on four random subjects and she'll take the trophy.
It's a reason they call them fans 😂
Agreed! But to refer to Paul, I see your point! She is definitely bright though, and knowledgeable on her work! Best I have seen so far! And the free info she puts out to everyone bc she wants to share and help, just shows her passion for psychology. THAT is why she has my trust!
I have BPD and definitely empathetic, there are a few bad people (like in every group of people) that give BPD a bad name. Plus there’s quiet BPD, where the rage is internal and the person takes it out on themselves, not others. I love Dr. Ramani as she gets the point across so well
I have quiet BPD. I'm also *overly* empathic & a bit of a people pleaser! I internalize everything from emotions to suicidal thoughts! I was called attention seeking & a bitch for mentioning when I was suicidal & because I'd also ask if the person would keep my meds for the night so I wouldn't have the opportunity to overdose if I became too suicidal because the last few times I overdosed, I had enough medication in my system to kill me. I was going to DBT group therapy & seeing a one on one therapist before COVID19 & the therapy has greatly helped my traits of BPD become more stable. I personally love DBT group therapy!
How the fuck do you give a personality disorder a bad name? You have fucking maladaptive behaviors. That’s like saying people with Autism who decide not to speak give autism a bad name. I’m not a fucking nice person. I don’t hurt myself as often as I hurt other people. I have a very limited ability to care about that. I live in a society that won’t let me die gracefully. Why the fuck do I have to take responsibility for that?
@@littlemonster2483 Aw thank you for sharing your experience, that's very brave of you. I relate with part of your experience. Not sure if I have BPD too, but I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and behaviors, so I understand the agony you must've been going through. I'm sorry you were called attention seeking and a bitch for opening up about something so personal. That's awful. But I'm glad to hear you benefited so much from DBT. Thank you for holding on. Stay strong and keep fighting.
I’m a 41 yr old female from the Bronx. Around 2010 I became so suicidal n depressed but had a son to raise, so decided to start therapy because I didn’t know which other way to go. I couldn’t leave my baby in that way. I did the DBT!!!
It was the hardest thing in the world for me. I was super broke n got on that train without wanting too-daily. Five day’s a week, 2 or 3 hours every single morning for 6 months... If one was 5 minutes late u couldn’t enter.
It saved my life...
❤️
❤️
i admire you so much for reaching out and getting help for the sake of yourself and your son. many parents dont get help and that can pass onto their children
Ty
❤️
Man I wish I had the money for help man that's beautiful I'm tired if losing people from being sick
@@agawdsparadise3782 Stay strong my man, keep searching for solutions & you'll surely find one. I'm searching aswell. Take it day by day, you got this brother🙏🏾
Jenny,
So very proud of you! Tough choices, but you continually made the right choice. That, to me, is true courage! May God bless you & your son. Will pray for you.
It's disgusting how money can stand in the way of mental health, and it's even more disgusting that people say that that's just the way it is.
Yeah, itsbsad.
that’s capitalism babyyyyy 🧎🏽♀️
@@AfroGothixa I hope no one depends on you for emotional support.
@@danielgonzalez5787 i’m not being sarcastic or anything, i agree, that’s literally why healthcare and mental health is abysmal (particularly in the states) because _profit over health_ 🤷🏽♀️ it’s sick and twisted
@@AfroGothixa I apologize for my comment.
she’s definitely my favorite therapist on medcircle by far. everything she says resonates so deeply with me that it’s brought me to tears a couple times. i have borderline along with multiple other diagnoses and i’ve never watched anything that hits home and makes me feel understood like her and her words. she’s incredible and anyone that gets the privilege to work with her/be her patient should be very grateful.
Tears? Don't be dramatic. 😒
@laura the explorer
The privilege to be her patient comes with a price: 500 dollar per hour.
thank you, from someone diagnosed with major depression, bipolar II, adhd; medicated since 14, blah blah. this made me cry. the appropriate therapy, with the right therapist, that's affordable enough to be sustainable for a lifetime? how often does this happen? asking the for 99;9% of the population that will never come close to even comprehending this.. 🙋🏻♀
@MedCircle Dr. Ramani is soooooo intelligent and doesn’t just explain topics without all the research, and why certain words are wrongly categorized- and she breaks down and explains these incredibly difficult topics in a layman form for people not of the medical world to understand. And she’s very humble and nonjudgmental. Love her.
Kyle has become such a GREAT interviewer. I hope he gets his own talk show on a network with a big contract.
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I am guilty of reacting via text messaging but I also do get highly emotional but I have not harmed myself in over a year to have myself sent to inpatient in well over a year and that's a amazing!
I am always impressed and amazed how Dr. Ramani can discuss these complex ideas and topics so simply, like chatting with a long time friend! I feel like she could do it forward, backward, and standing on her head with no nites. Her warm yet strong delivery is so validating... love it!
Hmm love bombing? First sign of a psychopath.
I love this woman. She is really born to be educator. I am responding not reactive 😀
“There is tremendous hope for people with borderline personality disorder” she says, with continued therapy, commitment to wellness, etc. the worst outcomes are with the group B folks who rank very low in morality or in even seeing that there’s any problem at all. Those things stand in the way.
The fact that she was so honest about the hope for these disorders makes me very happy. Professionals have told me in relation to my mental disorders that there is so much hope and it makes me feel bad cause I don’t feel like I’m getting better. I feel like I’m disappointing them and there is so much hope, yet not for me. I wish more people will real like she is.
In my country Portugal ive been to 3 different psychologists and no one ever told me whats the matter with me. With the years i calmed down but had strong bpd traits. I wonder if i had an explosive bpd that became quiet type. Or if im neurodivergent and have some kind of autism going on. Or both. Never got clarity. Just want to tell you...dont blame yourself...improvement takes many years...theres always ups and downs...theres events that trigger crisis moments. If your therapists are good they know about it. Dont beat yourself up, its already hard to open up and show up for an appointment.
It's hard because you're in it right now. The more you can buy into thinking highly of yourself, working hard on dispelling all the thought distortions, the better. For me, I'm convinced time has a lot to do with it also, plus life situations. Don't give up, cuz you'll be amazed at what peaceful really is when you get there.
This was a seriously great interview. The host didn't interrupt and was able to really keep in mind how the audience was thinking, and Dr. Ramani is so good at explaining things in a way that's relevant to those seeking answers. She definitely has a lot to say. Thanks so much!
I'm a antisocial with borderline traits suffering a lot from adhd symptoms.. this video made me feel very hopeless and alone
@@YugiohRules10001 ❤❤❤ I agree. I think she has her own bias but there are other videos from other people (wish I remembered names) that have less negative rhetoric. Don't give up
You'll find a safe and positive community for cluster B's over at Kanika Batra's channel, she also has ASPD ❤
Sorry
You gotta realize that the personality disorders make the social environment suffer - often more than the person themselves. This description of what it's like to deal with a cluster-b type of person at the worse times isn't is not an unfair judgemental condemnation, it's just straightforward. It makes sense that you would have those disorders but only suffer from the ADHD.
I am neurodivergent and for years people on the spectrum were made out to be these people that lacked empathy. It is totally not true and if anything they can be highly empathic once they learn how to analyze or 'read' situations. But the thing is...those misunderstandings that started in the psychiatric community WERE corrected but they can persist in pop culture.
I would say if you want to be your best self, it is going to be similar to what a person on the spectrum or ANYONE needs to do. Write down what areas you struggle in especially if they relate to social interaction. Get more objective feedback from friends. Make action plans. Get help for anything that seems enduring that you are struggling with from a therapist who you can connect with...
I feel like a lot of traits are not inherently bad or good either, they are helpful or unhelpful or harmful to others in excess etc. So sometimes it's about scaling things back.
Also if you find that you have tendencies that you dislike about yourself and want to work on...think of when and how you would be most open to sharing a new side of yourself.
What I find interesting is therapies with animals. Provided you like animals (and from your concern and interest in learning more likely a great deal of interest in doing the right thing) and are safe with them...animals are great across the board. There are tons of research articles about how learning to care for or tend to an animal can help with feelings related to connection/ peace / love. Animals have been shown to help a lot of people with personality disorders. And those on the spectrum.
Another idea is to be the person that defies the stereotypes of your diagnoses. If you are a patient that works at change, shows growth and counters their preconceptions with growth...it could change how they even look at the possibility of growth and change and thus alter how they see the condition itself.
I am trying to do the same by showing that not every neuroatypical person has a low EQ (emotional quotient) as that is largely something that can be learned :) (and we are good at categorization so now if we apply what we learn we can improve our lives and our relationships too.). Don't give up and know I hope you feel less alone soon and also feel this is possible.
Also...I don't think all therapists work the best with all clients. If you have a therapist who does seem judgmental or whatnot, try to find one who works for you. :)
i think she's just talking in general when she says that people diagnosed with one of personality disorders in Cluster B almost always lack empathy. We all know she always perfectly knows what she's talking about. She could have said it in a better way, yes, but it's obvious she's not referring to EVERY person diagnosed with BPD or whatever.
When they say lacks empathy they don't mean completely all the time. Its just that we can quickly get so angry our empahy goes out the door. At leaset thats the way it is for me. It comes back fuill force which is why i'm borderline and not a psychopath.. but when its gone its gone.. could be 5 minutes.. a few hours. Not much more.
@@overimagination2812 sorry if i ask, but your getting a lot angry is a "normal" reaction? i mean, anger is a common feeling but i feel like we don't experience anger the same you guys do.
I've noticed a tendency among the individuals with BPD in my own life, that they tend to exaggerate their empathic ability. It's part of the reason I don't trust the "empath" label, especially self-applied. They have affective empathy, meaning others' emotions infect their own, and then their insecurity exaserbates it. But they're terrible at cognitive empathy, understanding the relationship between mood and thought/ circumstance, due to the distortions of their disordered thinking. And their ability to access empathy fluctuates based on their level of and response to stress. When they learn to connect the dots on their own moods and triggers, they do get better at it, but it's a very slow process.
Yeah, she said 5 out of 9 is enough for clinical diagnosis.
Exactly, but she is pretty much on target
My ex did that to her psychiatrist. She used to go for her ADHD Meds and used to sit and ask the doctor how was she doing and othat was it. Stared at her. Expect her to give the prescription . The doctor just stopped returning her calls. Ghosted her. My ex was a narcissist
Welll
Choosing a therapist carefully, is important, because some personality disorders are comorbid, but choosing a therapist is better than doing nothing.
As a medical doc, I believe so much that every doc from different specialities have to learn these personality disorders! It’s so important to help you understand patients!
So grateful she addressed the social media aspect of reacting v responding at the end of this. So very true!
I gotta say, Dr. Ramani, you are the awesomest !! You explain so clearly, I feel like I'm taking psy 101 in uni listening to you. Seriously I have grown exponentially in 1 year, listening to your channels. And Kyle, you're a great interviewer, very thoughtful, so well prepared, asking key questions, serious yet kindly mannered. Thank you to both of you.
I have too much empathy. To the point I even feel sorry for assholes.
I have full BPD and I'm too empathetic. It's painful I feel everything.
I only lack it when I feel severely depressed or traumatized by someone.
Having feelings have nothing to do with having empathy. Empathy is not about you. That you believe that shows that you don´t have any.
Wow. You people sure sound mean and disordered for those responses.
@@Josec823 wtf? Feeling sorry for a person is empathy. you have to actually put yourself in someones shoes to feel sorry for them, hence why psychopaths born with no empathy have no remorse and dont feel sorry for their victims. what are you even talking about??
@@NicoleQuimper I thought that for a long time but found out different when I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for others is usually projection. And pity only makes people feel pathetic. Empathy knows what they need and does it.
Me too but I can't express it verbally so people assume I am a cold-hearted bitch and it sucks horribly.
People offended by her using the word hopeless.. I get that the people offended took it to a extreme personal level because they have that disorder but people shouldn’t be listening to the advice of someone who is offended and has a bias against these types of people who talk in depth about what it’s like being around these people. I get they feel exposed and are trying to make her use other words that are more “sensitive” but sometimes there is a harsh reality you’re not going to like. I respect her for being so honest even though people with BPD or narcissism try to attack her and build a group against her.
I have BPD unspecified. What you don’t understand is that’s condescending to people with personality disorders about accepting harsh realities is fucking annoying, reactive, and short sited. It’s a tell that your susceptible to manipulation and scared about it. You can not moment to moment understand why we’re so fucking extreme and that’s terrifying. It’s belittling to your own experiences. If you were healthy you would avoid that. When someone tells me they’re is no hope and yet there are wildly fucking disinteresting. Then I have to face a society that won’t allow me to die gracefully or punish me for “ abusive” behavior. It’s like ammunition, a lovely excuse not to regulate your aggression.
Should I plan to live near my alcoholic, anti social personality exhibiting, bipolar violent relative? Or is it really hopeless? I was probably aware already, it's hopeless! That's what all the grief over her is about, still it's important to know what others have found when they tried.
Her English language & knowledge combined makes her the top 1% of all psychotherapists. I think. Bless xo
As a diagnosed histrionic, I‘d love to see a video where Dr. Ramani talks about histrionic personality disorder!
She does have one, it is excellent
Looking forward to watching it. Met someone online that I suspect may be histrionic. Very interesting and unusual person, but very kind (and self-conscious enough she seems to think she has to remind others of that rather than letting her actions speak for themselves).
We met because out of the blue, she decided to ask me (a random stranger at the time) if I was interested in NSFW RP. Like I said, very interesting and unusual person, but very friendly and nice.
@@101jir it seems hpd dx people are nice and friendly. This disorder may be dropped from the DSM. If it is co morbid with another cluster B, then you have a different situation. I could be wrong, just my observation
“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see ...each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition-- all such distortions within our own egos-- condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other. That's how it is in all living relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other's naked hearts.”
― Tennessee Williams
This lady is soooo intelligent...it is mind blowing 🤯
I really liked this video i have bpd and i got angry with Dr Ramani and posted some comments on a video she did on covert narrcsssim i was upset because i felt like she wasn't giving a balanced opinion on her channel. This is exactly what I needed her to say so that people aren't automatically demonizing cluster b personality without having a balanced explanation. Thanks to her for doing it when she did.
it is wonderful that someone explains these. because if you try to tell people what happened to you , they pretend like they do not believe you.
I looooove Dr. Ramani and she knows so much! I just dont understand why she says people with BPD lack empathy cuz its just not true in mine and others experience. In certain situations I can lack empathy but I definitely have a huge capacity to feel empathy and a lot of other people with BPD do too.
I don’t think she said that; she specifically was talking about Antisocial & maybe Narcissism then
Ambrosia she said cluster b personality disorders, and shes said it in another video about bpd
I think she's painting with too wide a brush, and is allowing the overgeneralization wrt BPD, because *sometimes* BPD people are so wrapped up in *their* issues, that they do kind of lack empathy for those they are hurting by being so
Narc Helsin i agree, shes just overgeneralizing, its understandable though, she has to get such a large amount of info out in such a small time so she cant entirely specify everything. i just hope people dont think we dont have the capacity for empathy. of course we can lack empathy sometimes, i think everyone does, but i just think when a psychologist says "people with bpd lack empathy" more people interpret that as "unable to feel empathy" like what people think about sociopaths or something
Both narcissists and BPD are very poor at judging their empathy. Even narcissists think they have empathy when they only care about themselves.
I beg to differ with one point. People with BPD do NOT necessarily lack empathy.
Listen to it again.
Don’t worry I’ve seen tons of her vids & she definitely does not ever say that; she is talking about Antisocial PD
Oh yes they do. They may appear to have empathy but it's an act to get what they want. To anyone with a BPD partner, run.
@@rcfreaks6281 wrong. Not all people with BPD have every single symptom. I've never had issues with empathy. I'm saying this because I've been through therapy with a partner and my parents. So, not all lack empathy.
RC Freaks you anger me because people with BPD absolutely have empathy. And also because with DBT and with proper medication you can absolutely get better. Look at Sammi Grimm she’s had a boyfriend for years and she says she doesn’t even get mad at him.
I have BPD, and appreciate the help and talk about dbt therapy 😊
@@kmrnnj1 Completely unnecessary and rude. What the hell is wrong with you?
holotropic breathwork cuts right through the subconcious pain causing disorders. Gets the thinking brain ouut of the way and releases deep conflicting emotions.
As she mentioned in the video having a cluster B disorder and these other things can be quite difficult because you are constantly fighting two battles at the same time and that can be very difficult.
If I could actually afford to pay for therapy I would love to have Dr. Ramani as my therapist. I have been diagnosed Bipolar 1 and there's a string chance of a diagnosis of BPD. There is also a chance of being on the Autism Spectrum. I feel like she is just so experienced that she could tell me what my problem is for sure
I can listen to her forever. She loves what she does.
I talk about my experience with BPD on my channel and instagram because of the stigma around us being difficult! But I agree the majority of us with BPD want help so badly. Sometimes we can be too empathetic it can come across as sarcastic and that we don’t really care. The truth is that we do soo much.
Aha...so and how does it help your victims when they know you treated them badly because you felt too much? Just stupid! Just do your therapy or keep away from people. These are the only empathic and decent things you can do!!!
@@PhoebeJaneway you are stereotyping and stigmatising. You sound mean and awful.
I am an empath. I feel others sufferings, even insects.
Gold Vogel It’s hardly empathic to berate a stranger that viciously.
Gold Vogel this is disgusting behaviour, at the end of the day it’s still an illness that needs treatment. Unfortunately there is no treatment for a jackass like you. So if you can’t be kind, get out of here!
Dr Ramani is my new hero 😍 I just started my bachelors degree in Psychology so I'm watching these to get an overall idea of personality disorders and treatment modalities and I've learned so much!
She is amazing.
I lived with suicidal ideation for nearly 17 years and haven't had an attempt in almost 2 years (bc of how close it was). I was misdiagnosed bipolar 2 about six years ago and my family couldn't fully understand it and just thought it was depression and Bipolar when ALOT of my symptoms fell under BPD. I met with another psychiatrist a year ago and she confirmed I had BPD so now I've begun my process of DBT and trying intense therapy, it's been very helpful so far.
❤️❤️
Dr. Ramani... you have so inspired me. I have Aspburgers, but knew there was something else broken inside me. Watching your interviews I am now certain I am type 4 BPD. Inspired by your brilliance I am writing a book/screenplay giving the protagonist type 1 BPD. I want the world to know more about mental illness. So if “the mulberry man” is a big hit then I hope it can make a difference. Anyways thx so much for all your help!
I'm BPD and Asperger's too.
A lot of people with BPD are actually empaths because we are very sensitive (hypersensitive). We feel things both strongly and deeply.
Dr. Ramen is right on. An individual with a personality disorder has substantial difficulties in all areas in life. Not just work or relationships. I do wish there was more research in regards to how to cope with individuals with these disorders, rather than listing their characteristics.
How about more info how to cope for individuals with these disorders.
@@rayharris1093 In my views, only a Therapist can assist individuals with personality disorders. He/she has to be diagnosed with the specific disorder. Personally, I hold a B.S. in Psychology. My job is completely different and not related to PSY. I do watch tons of PSY related YT since that was my interest in college many years ago.
Absolutely every word resonates in my mind. Thank you for making this video and others. You help. This is both my reaction and considered, thankful response.
@Cocain from Jesus
It is true...
You learn a lot.
Another woman to be very guenuine is on youtube.
Susan Winter on all kind of men/woman & dating & relationship issues.
I think another good youtube videos are from.
Susan Winter
Tony Gaskins
Derrick Jaxn
R.C. Blakes jr.
Sam Vaknin
John Gottman
The attachment theory
The 5 love languages
Bless you and good luck to understand human behavior and their needs.
And take good care🌹
@Cocain from Jesus get help.
@Cocain from Jesus Are you ok or is english a bad language for you?
(Deanne) I am not diagnosed with pd, but lately I sense that I am being ultra selfish, and being told so. All your information is helping me see what I need to correct or change, I think being autistic leads my imperfect perceptions of my world or circumstances and is hugely challenging to correct my bad habits or patterns of behavior. Thank you for your insight!
If you're autistic, that can actually help the brain-changing process due to high plasticity. It's never too late to learn something.
Mindfulness lets you connect to the beginning, be thankful for the present and be "patiently" hopeful for the future.
I did feel guilty for a long time. Then I realized that putting someone in quarantine when they are ill is an act of LOVE. Love for both sides. No contact is an act of love because the person struggled with keeping themselves from lashing out and I struggle with my own reactionary actions. I try and stop and sort stuff and respond. Even to my own inner voices. Gently guiding them to reparenting helped me calm and sort myself.
Please stop the continued stigma surrounding anti-social personality disorders.
I have ASPD. Not all of us are evil, horrid people. The majority of my friends have said multiple times that I'm the nicest person they know.
That said, I've been in therapy and seen a psychiatrist 17 years.
Bruh fr. I had to say something similar to this other page in here.
Amazing you get help that proves not all anti social types are evil.Possibly it's much more complex than assumed.
I wish there was a way to get through the types that are completely convinced they are absolutely fine the way they are.It seems impossible because when someone decides hurting you works for them where do you go from there? LOL!!!
Well because you're their friend. But to those who you don't like for what ever fabricated excuse you choose, aspd are ruthless, and sadist.
@@hesterp7089 People I don't like for whatever reason I've fabricated... don't you think you're making some huge assumptions about me? Well, people with ASPD in general? Have you ever stopped to think that making such broad assumptions that all people with ASPD pick random people and are sadistic and evil towards them for no reason, is just as bad and horrible as the people you're generalizing? Were you hurt or traumatized by someone with ASPD? Guess what- so was I. It's all that cruelty and abuse that caused me to develop ASPD. People have all sorts of different reactions to being abused their whole life, and this was mine.
But I don't want to hurt people. I genuinely love people. I would rather be friends over enemies with someone. I got help, and with continued medication and other treatment, I'm able to manage my symptoms. You think we just pick someone out, make up a reason to hate them and prey on them, and that's just not how that works. That's a pretty childish view of how someone with ASPD is in everyday life.
@@ices3456 Yeah- the types out there that are convinced that they're fine, don't need help, ectera- those people can be frightening. They go through life not understanding how much destruction and chaos they cause in people's lives.
ASPD has a good outcome long term, as long as they get treatment. But if you're diagnosed with ASPD, you HAVE to get treatment. Continued treatment.
I feel like I was with someone with bpd. I think he’s got every cluster. He goes to extremes on all levels. He’s very empathetic & good as gold. He jumped into a lake & opened his eyes to find some old guys glasses. Then he ended up getting his own eyes infected & now he has to wear glasses. Then, he gets so angry. He’s always gets into fights. He’ll beat up a whole group of guys by himself. He’s a really good & skilled fighter. He’s extremely good at every single thing he does & he’s a bit cocky cause he knows it. He’s good-looking & very likable. He’s super funny & helpful. Then, he starts getting mad & wants to fight the world. His tone of voice turns cold & black. I would describe his aura from going from the purest white to the darkest black. You never know what he’ll do. I think he’s capable of doing anything. I don’t think he even knows what he’ll do. Then, he starts crying & turns into a little boy. It’s crazy cause he’s like real manly, then to see him cry like a little boy is unreal. He starts drinking alcohol & starts hitting himself. Then he goes back to being loving & charming within an hour. Lol. Then he goes from being loving to saying the most hurtful things. I won’t even see it coming. I feel so confused of what’s going on. He’ll change the subject & start telling bogus lies. Then I’m mad cause I’m like do you really think I’m so stupid that I would believe that. Then in his little kid manner he’s like I’m not lying. Why do you think I’m lying. 🤦♀️ He doesn’t seem to hold onto jobs even though he’s always the best at whatever he does. That guy can even cook good but something always happens & he’s looking for any job again. I love him but he wears me out. I don’t want to give up on him especially since he don’t do good with abandonment. His dad didn’t believe he was his real son & would beat him since he was real young. Then at age 14 his mom moved him out to live by himself in an apartment like 2 hours away. She would fill up his fridge with beer & food every Sunday, then she would leave. He really loved his mom then she later died of cancer. He had a sister die from narcotics, & a son die at birth from a previous gf. I want to help him so bad, but I’m not strong enough. I can’t give him the help he needs. He was super good when I got with him. He would go to church with me. On Sunday’s that I worked he would go to church with my brother & family. They all loved him which is a very rare thing to happen. I love him but he causes me problems. Like he causes me to be late for work. Then I speed trying to make it to work on time. I get a speeding ticket & am late for work. I’ve never been late for work. Then I’m tired at work & have accidents with equipment. I feel bad bc I feel like ppl are more important than work but I’ve got to take care of me too especially since he can’t keep a job. Idk why I even put this all on here. I just mainly meant to say I think he has every trait from every cluster. He even does the isolation bit.
Thank you for sharing
I am disappointed by some of the language used. You have definitely made something sensationalistic out of something that is supposed to be educational. Although, there were some redeeming points about BPD that you did not say previously. "Hopeless" seems like an inappropriate word to use for anyone. All of these diagnoses are people too.
Thank you very much. Didn't she pledge the hippocratic oath? She is completely neglecting their humanity and stigmatising/ antagonising them. I support a lot of what she is doing. But not the way she's doing it (sensationalising). I honestly think that she has her own set of issues and therefore unaware of the harm that she's doing.
You'll notice it allot with these RUclips phychologists . Take what they say with a pinch of salt and do your own research.
@@jacklight4721 a lot of them seem like they have NPD themselves. I guess that’s why the make videos daily with ads in them 🙄
If you knew anyone with BPD, you'd know that she's not sensationalizing anything lmaoo. It is a highly treatment resistant disorder and it takes so much work and mental upkeep that even the slightest deviation from treatment can cause the person to revert to their maladaptive habits. While not everyone with BPD is a threat to society, they are still often emotionally unstable, making it hard for those around them to know how to approach them. Hopeless isn't a great word, but if you understand the disorder then you understand where she's coming from.
I've seen some of her other videos and she really has a bone to pick with NPD people. NPD can be extremely cruel but they can also be genuinely sweet. I also don't like that she dismisses HPD as not real. There's some debate about it maybe being a subcategory of NPD, but it's certainly real in that the set of traits are real albeit uncommon.
My friend faked empathy to me for years. Where I found out it’s faking was when I had a near-cancer diagnosis (it’s still unknown what type of growth it was after surgical removal), and she couldn’t stop talking about herself and all the great stuff she has achieved (it’s old stuff that was told to me numerous times before). I had no support, no one to talk to about my condition. I wrote poetry about it and she took those poems and read it to a bunch of people. Told my story with my words but made it her own.
The last 6 months I’ve come to realise everything she did, was because she wanted something out of it, from me. Once I stopped my “giving nature” I’m on the silent side of chats, don’t get invited to her “inner circle get together”. She discarded me so quick after I actually needed her.
I come to this team to help me understand the DSM5. I’ve also learned to be more compassionate and understand my self♥️thank you for another wonderful session Dr. Durvasula and Kyle
This was an EXCELLENT, very informative video about Cluster B disorders! I LOVE listening to Dr. Ramani speak & explain.
There needs to be informative, creditable material regarding personality disorders, specifically ASPD, and the impact on parenting. I haven’t been able to find any research on how it impacts parenting and the trauma and damage done to the child to support my own situation.
My child’s father has a textbook case of ASPD, and it is absolute hell. Regardless of evidence, the court system continues to support these parents. Victims escape and then family court creates a legal revenue so their manipulation, abuse, and control can continue.
I wasted a year with a therapist who only said, "The bigger the problem, the deeper the root", and gave me nothing else. I turned to books, meditation and RUclips to solve my problems. I had high anxiety, narcissism full of self-sabotage, and possibly a personality disorder. I can't say it's over, but I am light years away from a dysfunctional psyche. Meditating from 30 to 180 minutes daily worked for me. I didn't stick to one style of meditation, I kept open to whatever came my way and was diligent, People gave me recordings and that which was instantly gibberish was trashed. I trust my High Self.
I'm bipolar and go from full mania to phycosis at times and then spiral to depression very quickly. I also have BPD and I do have a very empathetic nature. My care co-ordinaters upon leaving always say I've been great to work with and are always sad to say goodbye. I've recently become aware that I attract narssists and have family members who have narsistic traits and I find them so difficult to be around. I'm always trying to self educate and evolve as a person - mentally and spiritually. I'm a gay male 37 and have not been in a relationship for 5 years and hoping I can find somebody who is healthy minded. I'm actually very self reliant and am happy with my own company (and my cats :))! ) I also have epilepsy and thyroid disease. I have met many BPD people who I find very difficult and I try to avoid people with this illness - even though I have it myself.
Imagine if every doctor had her communication skills
Communication skill is rational for a psychologist
This woman is wounderful!
Dr Ramani is best together with Kyle. Great interactions and questions.
I lived with at least one if not more than one in my home for the first probably 33 years of my life. I am 34, and my nerves are shot to hell.
I have BPD and I feel no empathy when I am angry and I say things that when I calm down I absolutely hate myself and feel so upset and sad and hurt to the point it is physically painful. When I'm happy I feel like I can take on the world and that I can accomplish anything and the world is my oyster, I make rash decisions and don't think things through which puts me in bad/uncomfortable/dangerous/vulnerable and a lot of the time regretful situations. I can go from wanting to hang out with someone and talk with them for weeks beforehand and then when I have led them on I clam up and cut them off. I do this with no restraint and almost with no feelings or cares about how the other person is affected. I don't trust anyone, so it is hard for me to give anyone a chance. I feel like I always go back to abusive relationships or ex partners that have done horrific things to me instead of getting into a new relationship with someone I don't know as well in fear that they will see some kind of neediness in me, or that I'm too wild, too opinionated, or too much to handle, or not enough. I would rather be potentially hurt or even killed by someone I have been with for years because I know they won't leave me (I know I can leave them and that gives me a sence of power) instead of taking a leap of faith and really finding true love and being happy and treated like I'm loved... that is nuts. I'm also afraid that if I do find that, they will leave me and trust me when I say when I've been abandoned or even feel like someone would potentially do that to me I will cut them off in a second because that feeling is the most gut wrenching heart breaking emotionally draining hurtful most lonely and empty and just such a dark place to be and I am absolutley terrified of that to the point I will put my own life at risk to not go through that ever again... I need and want help... No one will because I can't afford it and the stigma that BPD carries makes everyone treat me like a freak and they think I will be too much to handle, yet again. FML.
She’s so intelligent and beautiful. Her mind makes her even more beautiful. I feel richer listening to her. I am a gay Mixed Race Canadian male.
You got me at Canadian
Wtf was that last sentence lmao
Don't tell piers morgan
I was diagnosed in 2017 with unspecified personality disorder., after major depressive episode.With no follow up. I rely on youtube channels to help me understand it better.
Actually forgot that I did get group therapy related to DBT. It was helpful
What happens if you were fine for the first half of your life but after being screwed over so many times, you become cluster B, and that in turn causes people to make life difficult for you because THEY'RE the ones who are cluster B?
No. There is no late onset personality disorder.
You don't "BECOME" cluster b later in life. It happens either genetically or by childhood trauma.
That's either an undiagnosed personality disorder that's been there all along or possibly cptsd setting in
I enjoy listening to her all day as she is honest a kind therapist are not they think in terms of code
This is the most amazing video I have seen thus far. I am going to show this to my boyfriend because I want him to have a better understanding of my BPD diagnosis.
I have listened to this countless times and each time, I learn something new and come to a clearer understanding these disorders. Dr. Ramani is so amazing.
Just don't forget that the DBT was created by someone that had a BPD
It takes one to know one?
One of the common behaviors of personalities that are incapable of empathy, is they will hurt you even when you do not know them nor done something to them.
I’d love to see a video on cluster A, the schizo-affective disorders. I have a brother who is schizophrenic, but I struggle to understand this diagnosis!
Schizophrenia is not a personality disorder. It's a serious psychiatric illness. Schizoid and Schizotypal are personality disorders in the cluster A.
What you have mentioned are tow totally different illnesses. I am a mental health professional I am happy to chat, please ask any questions.
Schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder are not considered personality disorders. But schizoid and schizotypal are considered personality disorders...
I tried to get therapy from my old therapist for narcissistic abuse and got turned away because I wasn’t suicidal. Not even my own psychiatrist listens and even implies that my narcissistic mother that I live with actually loves me. I’m completely alone 😔.. now I know what them, sociopaths, and psychopaths are, and they terrify me. My diagnoses are major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. thank you guys
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ASPD and NPD don’t make a person evil, just like depression and anxiety don’t make a person weak
oh my gosh I felt such immense shame when they spoke about not sending intense emails. untill now I did not think not sending those emails was an option.
Huh. I’m against society, and have social anxiety, but antisocial personality disorder is wildly different from anything I find myself experiencing. Overall though, I have a definite tendency to what I’ve found on avoidant personality traits.
I've always questioned If I have BPD. Overtime and learning more about it has me believing so, but I'm still not 100% sure of it. A few parts in this video confirmed I do.. I already knew deep down honestly but thank you🙏 I really needed this.♡ When my heart and my head registered it, all I could do was break down for a moment... I really am sick.😩😪🥀💔
You might not have it, see a therapist if you’d like to know, you could waste your time dealing with one thing when it could be something else. Speaking from personal experience
i'd definitely encourage you to seek a therapist before you grieve such a scary diagnosis. there was a point in time where i met almost every symptom and tested into severe BPD, but i never had it. combined with my social anxiety and ocd tendencies my therapist quickly recognized it as autism. gl
Thank you both for taking the time to share your advice, support, experience and knowledge with me. I will definitely take note of your words. 🥀 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 🥀
What does it mean if they
"become someone else, when socializing "
Refuse to bond in person, yet believe online people are true connections?
Become extremely dismissive of their mate while being nice to others,in front of them?
When you get a label , the treatment becomes narrow and inaffective
U mean diagnosis? My therapist said the same thing that it doesnt really matter cuz it all comes down to similar treatment. There is no specific treatment for every illness its mostly cognitive challenging ur thoughts and nothing taking everything srs and personal. Practicing empathy and questioning people's intentions instead of assuming and feeling betrayed and hurt
@SVG At last yeah i guess haha thats whats so scary about personality disorders. Some people r experts at deception its terrifying haha. They can really convince u of their innocence. Masters of manipulation. Where does one learn how to manipulate in the first place its very disturbing haha. They literally seem possessed. No conscious or guilt whatsoever
Maybe for some people, but when I got my aspd and npd diagnoses I was able to go to pd specialists and get proper treatment. It's helping me manage my impulses so I can stay out of jail and still have the life I want.
Have you heard about C-PTSD? There's been some discussion that some people with ASD or BPD may infact have C-PTSD. I'd be interested in your thoughts.
Shit, I forgot people in the US have to pay for healthcare. That sucks so unbelievably much that you might have all the things you need laid out in front of you for treatment, but you just...can't afford it. That is ridiculous.
I’m here because I think my younger brother has HPD. What she said about living with them is so true, it really does feel like I’m walking on eggshells when I interact with him. Say or do the wrong thing and he might pop off in an instant.
He’s super self consumed in how he looks and what he owns. He carries himself in an aggressive and intimidating manner. Is SUPER easily influenced (at a time almost ended up dead cause he was super addicted to xanx because his idol lil peep was) he drives super aggressive and fast especially if a car “slower” than his tries to pass him up.
If you try to have an intelligent conversation with him he’ll do everything he can to belittle your stance, which often ends up in arguments.
I used to think he was just a weirdo douche bag but I decided to google what a word for people like him was and hpd came up and all I gotta say is damn, knew something was wrong with the kid. He seriously needs therapy. He’s all alone in this world (besides our family) and I want him to be able to have healthy relationships and not look down on everyone.
Sound like my ex husband
MariaEsthter Buenrostro Salcedo Im so sorry you had to experience living with someone like that. Hope you’ve healed from it 🤍
Ruuuuun 😮
With mental health care and treatment. Its very rare that you will be cured, you talk through your trauma or issues and you learn new coping skills. Its a daily battle and you may have days where your slipping back into a dark place.
I spent 6-7 years working on borderline pd (along with bipolar and other disorders), working every second of every day bc I could not handle living the way I was anymore. I dealt with it for over two decades.
I am proud to say that about 3 years ago, my psychiatrist took it off my chart!
I also know someone who had ASPD and she ended up in prison and she had a baby in there and, bc of her child, she changed her lifestyle and has full custody and now she has remorse and so much empathy. She works to help others in her situation and she's incredible.
I went into the same type of work
But the thing with both of us is we did it for our daughters and for ourselves. No one made us change. And I, sadly, don't see ppl changing with these pds unless they have an almost life or death reason for doing so.
But that's just my experience with ppl with cluster B... I can't say this as a blanket statement, ofc
Sorry but it’s impossible to gain empathy and remorse if you were incapable of it because of a disorder
Love these two together! I’ve watched many of their MedCircle interviews and they work very well together. Such interesting topics and very informative as well.
I wish my psychiatrist will be like you ❤
As a cluster b (bpd diagnosed) I’ve never felt such an honest representation
Communication on both sides of this interview is clear and concise, to the point and informative. You both are interesting to listen to. Thank you
I could listen to dr ramani talk for days 😊
I just would like to express my deepest gratitude for the enlightening work that your channel is doing in removing the veil of occult from these so urgent issues, as the world spins in psychiatric epidemic. Your channel and the wonderful speakers that are invited are giving us necessary skills to navigate in our more insane, difficult, and turbulent world. Thank you very much.
The first therapist I found for my daughter (who was later labeled borderline) was young and sweet and my daughter eventually started telling me that she loved to make up stuff to tell the therapist because she could scare the therapist and that was entertaining. Eventually we found an older therapist who was not as easily hoodwinked. But that young one really believed that I was evil and cruel and if i'd only listen to my poor daughter everything would be better. The older one - she called me in to a session and my daughter talked about me ignoring her and i brought up something that had happened 2 weeks earlier when I knocked on her door to say good night as usual and she wouldnt say goodnight, so I asked if she was ok, and she didnt want to talk to me, so i came in and closed the door, "It doesnt even matter, you dont care" " of course I care' "I dont even think its worth trying, we'll never have a good relationship" "I definitely think its worth trying" "Well I just DONT WANT to talk to you!" . . . and finally I say ok, its past my bedtime.
Yeah after that the therapist stopped trying to work with me . . . my daughter believed it was because I would never change. and of course I believed it was because i wanst the problem.
of course saying that out loud always makes me fear I'm actually the crazy one, tho everyone else in my life says its not me - adn my sister is exactly the same way, so abusive to my mom that some of her health aides have quit because they can handle her being cruel to them, but not to my 83 year old mother.
anyways, once again, this really helps put my mind at ease and helps put things in perspective. No hope but at least some perspective.
Excellent discussion. Responding vs reacting and mindfulness. ❤️
I can listen to both of them for hours. Thanks you 2!
I really liked the doctor and Kyle. They are doing a great job. I finally have understood the different personality disoeders. I am emotionally supporting a family member with these type of problems. I could hear the doctor all day long. Thank you for doing this and helping others.
Dr. Ramani is the GOAT
Great info ! Respond vs react ...whoa. That was meant for me
WHAT AN AMAZING INTERVIEW/ VIDEO!!!
Thank you so much for organizing (by explaining in a very clear way) all the types into groups that sounds way more understandable. Finally! I was very confused.
👏🏼👌🏼
Such a great Doctor she is! I have so much of appreciation towards her and her contributions in this field.
I thought this video was going to talk about the stigmas associated with the disorders so it's not what i was expecting. Regardless, i don't think that BPD is explained well enough to be properly understood in this video. To say that they lack empathy is untrue, it can certainly seem that way to people on the other side of it and it's hugely misunderstood.
Those who suffer from BPD have affective empathy and can be quite sensitive to it, but the distortions of the disordered thinking prevent the mechanism of cognitive empathy from firing correctly.
I have BPD but I can turn off my empathy for periods of time. I can flip a switch and become cold for as long as needed. Maybe it is a result of black and white thinking, where I can view someone as being so awful that they deserve it. When I am feeling grounded and more centered, I have great empathy. My empathy seems to be linked to my self-image and the state of my sense of self. When my self image becomes negative, I can easily justify not having empathy. When I feel good about myself (maybe even feel superior to others) there is less desire to manipulate. I think I developed the ability to be ruthless as a survival tool.
I have BPD along with Bipolar I would say from my own experiences I can’t say I have no empathy but it takes a lot for me to feel moved for someone’s situation. I think for myself I never had any compassion come from others when I needed it so I tend to see it on a scale of if you deserve it. No body came and rescued me out of my hell so I tend to feel you have to find your own strength within yourself to help and learn how to deal with your own behavior and problems. I didn’t have the luxury of being weak and rescued so why should I feel responsible to help someone else. I’m just being honest on how my illnesses effect me. I believe the disorder most definitely doesn’t effect everyone the same way. There are plenty people with BPD that have an extreme amount of empathy and compassion and some not so much. Different people have lived very different lives and their makeup is going to cause people to react back out to the world in very different ways so those of you that lump all people the same because they have a certain illness your dumb ass is showing. Just because you had a relationship or two with someone with BPD doesn’t mean everyone with that diagnosis is exactly the same🙄I mean come on your ex is probably saying the same shit about you👍👍👍👍