Are Arranged Marriages Outdated? | Middle Ground INDIA
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Развлечения
Rina's whole personality trait is " It never happened to me so therefore it must not exist".
Yep, she reeks of privilege
Similar energy as:
I'm a man and I think period cramps are a myth
@@ylia281 But its true tho,period cramps doesn't exist its a myth,it never happened to me.
Yes,I am joking
Lol
Straight up facts.
Suvir not giving Rina a chance to cut him off was a win for all of us
She was so annoying, talking about her US young friends whatever
@@shrutisingh1405 wait why is that annoying? It’s relevant because Desi American youth tend to be pretty liberal when it comes to this stuff so they provide a decent benchmark.
Perhaps your inferiority complex towards Desi Americans is driving your perceived annoyance. You invalidating their experiences is a defence mechanism.
@@ComputerTechnic217 I think their point was to say that Rina was using exceptions to validate her point, which is not a proper reflection of most arranged marriages or the demand for them. Also, it didn't seem like Shruti was trying to invalidate anyone else's experiences, so let's not judge too quick. Desi American experiences are just as valid, even if they're different, and this is coming from a Desi American's point of view.
@@ComputerTechnic217 i dont think it has anything to do with where she's from,
her first point were : globally divorce rate is 60% and in india its 90%. - it doesn't account the fact that indians stay in loveless marriages (in a lot of cases accept abuse) for sake of society.
Just because her 'educated born and brought up in new York folks' discussed and agreed on arrange marriage- it still does not reflect any census ( like aastha in the video pointed out- they are exceptions and come from highly privileged place )
Even on caste/ religion being perpetuated- she keeps bringing her younger friends in America. That's not india. Perhaps in another episode she would fit better- here it was just annoying.
In india if arrange marriages did not happen through newspapers then y would it be there. But she wouldn't get it.
Umm, i dont put ppl on a pedestal jus coz they're from a certain background. So i got nothing to defend myself from hahaahha.
But i thought of pointing these out, coz maybe u missed them in the video.
@@Rainyraina thankyou buddy! ^_^
*A summary of Rina's whole argument : "I have friends from America who thinks arrange marriages works and I have white validilation so I'm not wrong. Also these never happened to me so therefore it must not exist. Arrange marriages are best and always works but I am divorced from an arrange marriage. Not to mention I am extremely privilege and my source is "trust me bro"*
I think she's living in denial.
Lol 🤣!! So accurate!
@DJ Pauly D people in india treat white people like gods . That is white worshipping , that is white validation
Her first argument was that arranged marriages in India have 1% divorce rates. while in US, it's about 40%.
Right?! Lol I also love your duck avatar. It makes me happy!
the main arguments for arranged marriage were essentially “well, my arranged marriage is/was fine” and “i can’t seem to figure out how to date on my own so i need someone to do it for me.” Idk if it’s just me but Pradhyuman’s whole rant about how online dating didn’t work for him just screamed “i favor arranged marriage because then woman are obligated to talk to me.” gross. like Aastha mentioned, most of the points they made seemed to come from a very privileged place. i’m glad that the two of them didn’t end up in miserable, or downright abusive, arranged marriages but that is not the case for many, many people.
Yes beautiful 🤩
Yesss!! Agree!!
@Alexandra Drew Would two people be "obliged" to talk to each other in an arranged marriage? They can just say no right? its arranged and not forced.
Arranged marriage is the only reason humanity has survived. Put some respect on it. Cavemen used to club woman and drag them by the hair to caves for sex. If woman had it their way humans would have become extinct long ago.
@@hirenumradia7970 Often arranged marriages are forced marriages. One of the main reasons why anyone would be against arranged marriages is due to the lack of agency, especially for women. The way arranged marriages are portrayed in this video screams privilege and is definitely what the ground reality is.
Divorce rate in india isn't low because arranged marriages work, it's because divorce is considered a taboo in India
I don't think like that arranged marriages are generally successful
@@devvikramsingh7785 no they're not.
@@devvikramsingh7785 the People are way more likely to be unhappy
@@devvikramsingh7785 nah they are successful.
@@sampatkalyan3103 Because whenever there's an issue the couple doesn't solve it, their respective families do. The families put out all the fires because ultimately the marriage was meant to appease them and their long standing traditions.
The bottomline - In India, the difference between being able to choose between arranged marriage and love marriage is PRIVILEGE.
Couldn't agree more!
Wow!
On point👍🏼👍🏼
Facts
Again. True
I was glad when Aastha asked the question about privilege.
lets be real, any marriage can fail - love or arranged. so what really needs to be done is normalise divorce instead of making it a taboo, so that we can all get a 2nd chance if needed
There is a long way to go for divorce to be destigmatied
I think the most important thing is the relationship. Whether the person you love and you are willing to spend the rest of your life together.
@@swatisaini6447When people divorce they've either made a bad partner choice in the first place or they are giving up too early on their marriage...increasing no. of people are having a forever-lovey-dovey-fairytale idea of relationships nowadays which ultimately leads to resentment.
@@adityabhattacharyya8727 you are a b*tch
If I was in you place I would have your dismantled your dad into another dimension
No it shouldn't be normalised because then we're gonna end up like America where every other child has a step father or mother
Pradhyuman basically said "Arranged marriages are great bc the other person is obliged to listen to me" ..
Rina's whole argument was based on " ik lot of people , ik lot of friends , my cousins , my nieces etc " like wtf ? Her source was basically"trust me bro"
frr and her lack of awareness of her privilege is also just infuriating
@@neophantomm exactly!! Like how _????
true and i hate how she seemed to think that just because these concepts might be accepted outside of india, that act somehow, in itself, becomes a proof that she is correct. it’s almost like she has the whole “foreigners are superior” thing going on.
@@muskanagrawal7750 Lol, it's not a foreigners are superior thing. It's how people still choose arranged marriage even though it's a taboo in the US and it works better than prem byah
@@yungman7053 firstly, arranged marriages are not taboo in the states. they are unconventional, yes, but not straight up taboo. also you saying that they work better isn’t backed up by any data or general consensus. and lastly, even if i accept your point as valid, it doesn’t change the fact that bringing examples of cases from a different region is absolutely worthless in an argument revolving around marriage culture and it’s impact in India.
Low divorce rates are more a reflection of cultural or societal pressure to stay married than they are of a happy marriage 🤷♀️
Exactly. There are not a sign of happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships, where women are valued and respected.
100% so many people are together just bc of their reputation. Also bc many women are dependent on their husband its a sad reality.
Yea true my parents want a divorce but can't get it cause "society".
@@sherwood9917 just to play devil's advocate, who defines those things?
Many women (manly older generations) also lack financial stability to do so. Since men being the breadwinner of the family is so normalized in places such as India, it’s almost impossible for some women to escape these “marriages”
15:01 "why are you narrowing down your relationship to your parents?" Suvir didnt talk much. But he just hit the nail with whatever he said. Absolutely 1000% correct.
EXACTLY. RESPECT.
Agreed
You should narrow down your relationship to OnlyFans and dating apps like America does today. You realize that the majority of young adults in Americans are single and lonely and live in their parent's homes? LOL for trying to 'splain how to be failing society.
"You know us girls are more fascinated by the idea of the wedding rather than marriage." Says a lot..
The very sentence "I would get a divorce if I'm unhappy in my marriage" would be a luxury to a lot of people in this country.
Yes I agree...my parents aren't happy AT ALL they said that when both me and my brother go to college they will not stay in the same house but will not divorce cause it's BaD LuCk
@@archita933 same😭
@@archita933 Cool
@@archita933 even separating and living in different houses is quite rare.
@@RMatt2016 yes I agree
My guy is pro arranged marriages cause that way he can't be ghosted.. 🙄
😂😂😂
Putting any effort in is too much so he just makes his parents do it
without arranged marriage he would be a virgin for ever . he probably has trouble picking up girls on his own so he wants his mommy to pick up girls for him
Okay I don’t think we should pick on him for no reason tbh. That just says more about us than him. That’s just my opinion so pls don’t attack me for it lol
@@tanyabarbie895 it’s still funny tho lmao
The fact that Rina brought up the 1% divorce rate in the beginning shows how privilege and unaware she is? Like sis the absolute last reason it’s that low is people being happy in their marriage lmao.
Also love how the pro arranged marriage people were mainly single and divorced no shade tho ✋🏻
you're absolutely right. the pro arranged marriage guy also seemed to put himself on a high pedestal for thinking that the girl/woman is obligated to talk to him. that's quite unfair and i would walk out immediately had i been put in such a situation. it's sad that india still have such views on marriage and women do not always get a say in such matters. the misogyny is clear as day with it
She doesn't seem to understand that ppl get emotionally and physically abused in some of these. It's not easy to get out of from a psychological instance as well as financial or even familial when it comes to children.
Seems like using the word privilege has become new fashion for wanna be Americans
she expects people who don't have a choice in marriage to have a choice in divorce
You realize that 63% of men under 30 in USA are single?!? 63! And 34% of women under 30 are single as well. Very few young people getting into relationships in USA, let alone getting married. They are lonely and miserable, and evidence shows that both men and women in America now have the highest rates of depression ever. America's "relationships" are a failure, and you think that India should be more like them??!?
Aastha is honestly the only person worth listening to here, because she seems to be the only one in touch with the modern situation and current reality of the general middle/upper class people of India. The points she raised were so valid, and the concerns she pointed out were those that pretty much every single woman would have.
You are just anti-arrange marriage.
I think the wiser individual is between
@@vipr1142 exactly
There’s a lot of anti arrange marriage sentiment based on there idea what arranged marriages are (which is negative) which doesn’t have to be the case as long as the people involved are mature
I think If people still want to have an arranged marriage that’s fine, not everyone wants a conventional marriage. It’s just sad when they are forced to do it and get shamed when they want a divorce
Let people do what they want
@@DyslexicMitochondria exactly
Agreed there are cases of arranged cases being successful and there are cases of arranged marriages being a failure too, regardless of a love or an arranged marriage what’s important is the understanding, love and trust between the two people involved in the marriage. You shouldn’t just force anything.
Yes! You hit the nail on the head
Yep
“we think arranged marriages are good because it’s hard for us to find a partner” that’s all you had to say
It was just so funny 😂😂😂
lmao fr
No kidding, the pro guy basically was like it's to much work to find a wife because that would mean fixing my shitty attitude so I want one female to be given to me so I can have one.
@@arrow2589 and so that she is now obliged to talk to me cause her parents will force her
@THE ZOLDICS sorry, not sure what you are saying
11:50 THANK YOU FOR CALLING OUT THEIR PRIVILEGE. This girl is on fire. Wish I could learn to talk like that. I had be less apologetic about my behavior with a lot of self entitled pricks every day.
As a European, this video was fascinating to watch. I’ve never met anyone who is/was in an arranged marriage. In my country arranged marriages stopped being a thing over a century ago so it was really fascinating to see how modern people grapple with it, and how their society is affected by its continuation. Also, props to Aasta! She seems so intelligent!
@@noelrodrigues8179 Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still think arranged marriages are a horrible idea! I just meant it was interesting to see different perspectives.
I am a 20 yr old Indian guy and honestly I don't want an arranged marriage in future. In fact I don't even wanna marry an Indian. I wanna date and marry an American or Canadian or European girl in future because it's my preference. I hate the concept of arranged marriage and I find it outdated. Most Indian parents don't like it when their son or daughter dates anyone. Even relatives and neighbor aunties and uncles will judge us. Kissing and hugging in public here in India is frowned upon and we can't do it in private too as most of us live with parents and also due to such dense population of India. I also wanna give my girl a piggyback ride on beach or park which wouldn't be possible in India as most people would give stares because many aren't open minded here. So I decided not to even try dating in India as I can't imagine a dating life with so many problems like these. Hopefully I will go to US or Canada or UK after 2 or 3 years for higher studies and get settled there and date a nice girl there and give her all my love. I wouldn't even care if my family members says no to the marriage with her because it's my life.
In Europe (West Europe at least) "marriage issues" are homosexual marriage (which is more accepted day by day) or the fact that maybe we don't need to marry to be happy in this life... I wonder what these people will think about that...
Wish I could live in Europe. Arranged marriages are poison to the society.
@@manosijthehero3686 Why just American/European/Canadian?
Indian women don't all look or act the same, and in a country with 1b people, you'd think you'd more than a few that are attractive.
I think you're just idolizing European beauty standards. And this is coming from an American woman.
You can like whatever you like, but when you narrow your search based on nationality like that, I can almost guarantee you that you're excluding lots of beautiful women.
Pradhyuman earlier embarrassed himself in front of only the Indian audience. Now, he's on to do it in front of a global one. That's personal growth.
💀💀💀
HAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA- YESSS
Kuch toh gadbad hai
He didnt grow through his lines like he still whines cause he dont invest time and effort in dating and want everything to plate
Aastha rolling her eyes at Pradhyuman is such a mood
Can u post the timestamp please? I couldn't find it and I don't want to watch the video all over again
@@hazybaffler5797 12:23
@@judy5810 thanks mate!
😁
The biggest mood ! I enjoyed her soo much !
When someone gives me the argument that arranges marriage had a low divorce rate well yeah because you did not enter the marriage with your full choice then how the hell can you get out by your free will
True
Yep, as if that’s somehow proof that arranged marriage is better? If anything it shows there is little free will and lots of pressure to conform to social mores.
FACTS
Arrange marriage against my will destroyed my life, no one should be forced to choose their life partner n that happens a lot in India where I live
Advantage of arrange marriage:- If it fails you can blame your parents.
Advantage of love marriage:-If it fails parents can blame you .
But how far we can go to blame each other, instead of taking responsibilities ?
very true!
Valid point
They talk as though dating apps or arranged marriages are the only two ways to meet a partner
@@ntiisw looks like you never left your place and have any friends or colleagues or been to the gatherings that normal people have. Basically met never seen any strangers around u. Sucks
Off topic but you look so beautiful
@@aloowalia2849 what is it is not Her photo lol
@@kamberine9566 😁😁
@@aloowalia2849 I commented the same thing on another video to an other person. And some guy called me an Incel.
The divorce rate in India is low not because arranged marriages work out for people,
1. Its a taboo to get divorced
2. There are still many housewives who rely on their s/o to earn the money and parting ways will be difficult for them
3. Couples think it will leave a trauma on their child if they get divorced but the actual trauma is still continuing a failed marriage
Perfect.
Exactly. You see all of this in the Mormon religion too and they don’t have arranged marriages.
@@tromboner6061 agree w you
@@tromboner6061 are you the Messiah?
@@tromboner6061 totally agree......... because mostly the girls I see hating on arranged marriages are the ones that would be the first one to reject guys because of their looks and height..........if tomorrow arranged marriages are stopped in india .... literally 70 to 80% dudes would be single and childless lol 🤣🤣........ because most girls would go for the top tier guys regardless of how they themselves look ......and obviously the tier 20 to 30% dudes will have abundance of options so why would they wanna commit to one girl , those guys would use these girls and would just sleep around with them and have fun without giving them any relationship security.
In India, it’s not love that holds two unhappy people together. It’s fear of being alone that keeps two unhappy people together
It's actually the fear of society
@@avdhutjoshi676that too. “What will people say” - I never understood this to be frank. Who cares what others think… YOLO
Pankhuri: stands pro-arranged marriage.
Also Pankhuri: sounds more like she's anti-arranged marriage
The youngest one in this group is the most level headed..
Agree!
Agree !!!!
AND a law student. Generation z (and alpha) truly is the future.
@@f.t.6764 indeed!
Westernised
The problem is that the majority of the pro arranged marriage ppl were speaking ONLY from _their_ experience. They don’t take into account what others have had to go through due to arranged marriages.
Yes very true. Some people dont even get the freedom of having enough time to get to know someone , they are rushed into it by just talking for for a few hours. Unlike the people in the show .
Christine Herbert I think it even shows how class difference literally changes your experience. Privileged people do need to come out of their bubble. Almost all of them sounded posh . It is devastating to see how upper class doesn't even know/comsider about the awful experiences of those less fortunate , those who are more vulnerable and might not even get access to police,lawyers or other facilities unless their parents are nice enough to understand their situation. Smh 🤦♂️
@@rmsleftpinkiestoenail6771 So true!
most arrange marriages are successful
@@jayd4ever yea those are the lucky ones. Its a gamble .
Just because your arranged marriage worked, doesn't generalise every other arrange marriage.
Just because your love marriage is happy, doesn't generalise every love marriage end happily.
There should have been LGBTQAI+ representation. There would have been very different perspective. For example 13:00 For this question I would have said no, parental support is not important to me because my family and India as a whole is very homophobic. It is a privilege to have parental support not a necessity.
Come on bruh, you know the Indians aren't afraid of the gays. It's the other way around.
India is less homophobic than your western slavemasters. Homophobia here is passive a.k.a. fear of unknown while in west they actively abuse lgbt
Agreed!
@@yahudi7253And that’s why the western slave masters have same-sex marriage and India doesn’t lol.
thiiiiiissss part!
if you're heartbroken over a failed match on a dating app then you have a bigger underlying issues with understanding your self worth.
Like it happens 🙄
@@boxeswithfoxes huh?
Everbody has different way of handling their emotions,things can feel worse specially after a bad day,depressive episode,anxious build up stuff then it would feel on an average day. But eventually its gonna come back to its usual state.Yeah getting rejected sucks ass but it happens. Sometimes it hurts sometimes it don't u get better at accepting rejection as u age I guess...it's part of life u kno. Not to sound too lectureyy hwahahah just speaking from experience thas all.
When that dude from matchmaking said that " arranged marriages do not perpetuate religious and class division " I laughed out loud
WATCH YOUR OWN SHOW HONEY.....
I know right and he’s from a rich family so the why he experienced arrange marriage is completely different like check your privilege dude
@@ogrecooch that's why I did not like the people in this debate. Most of them were quoting there individual experienced rather than talking about the general issue at hand
@@ShirinHossain04 yea and the lack of representation in this video is astounding.
@@ShirinHossain04 yea but u can't generalise Marraige it's a personal thing
@@ogrecooch unfortunately they can't bring up people from very diverse backgrounds... There is not an abundance of english speaking *suitable* individuals in all communities over here.
Rina's views are so based on "gora" validation. everytime she comes up with the America thingy or about her family, which seems to be very progressive and privileged.
She's so privileged that she's couldn't differentiate between caste difference and regional difference and changed the whole conversation to people marrying from different states and not castes.
I like Aastha's pov.
Does gora mean white people?
@@noceboaffect3187 yes
On low divorce rates:
1. Divorcees are shunned from society especially if they aren'r privileged (unlike Rina).
2. Women are dependent on their husbands for financial support, because of not being allowed to work or not having opportunities (unlike Rina).
3. Getting a divorce is expensive so it is not an option for most people (unlike Rina).
In conclusion, Rina is blinded by her privilege and is unable to see the pain of so many people in unhappy marriages because she has never had to deal with that or face the harsh reality.
What a lie what a lie all these wanna be Americans typing about privilege while typing from Iphone
@youalrightboi158 yes but in arranged marriage there's a higher chance of wanting divorce
This isnt a fair debate, the pro arranged marriage people aren't anyone I witnessed in my family or society. They are more privileged than average indian people who get into arranged marriages even by choice.
Exactly!
So true
That's exactly what I found odd here. And also these people mostly based their point around their personal experiences, which obviously can't be generalized.
Infact, their idea of arrange marriage is not even what arrange marriages look like in general context. It's almost like dating but you find your partner through your family. That's a completely different thing.
YES EXACTLY
So trueee they're talking about situations once in a blue moon
Rina and pradhyuman are the biggest examples of being urban ignorant and not realizing everyone aren’t as privileged as they are! they don’t understand how arranged marriages works in so many other rural or even middle class cases, that arranged marriages are soo deep rooted and is a catalyst for so many other social issues!
Exactly!!
Lol, then you marry a beggar from the streets or a gangster from UP if you are so worried about class division
Facts on facts on facts on facts
@@yungman7053 don’t be so arrogant. You know exactly what she’s tryna say smart ass 🤦🏽♂️
@@KP-05 🤦♂️Maybe you are having problems to comprehend properly
The dude pradhyuman said it right "in arranged marriages people are obliged to talk". What he doesn't know is that marriage should be with somebody who wants to talk to you, not someone who is obliged to talk to you.
"Privilege is invisible to those who have it"
Pradhyuman the type of dude to cancel his doctor's appointment because he's sick
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just snorted seeing this XD !!! Lol of lols
AHAHAHA this is perfect
LMAO HELP
Lmao ikr? I wanted to slap him so bad
As an Indian I would just like to point out that even though arranged marriages in India have a very low divorce rate it's not necessarily a good thing. Domestic abuse in India is horrifyingly high and as divorce is still stigmatized a LOT in Indian society many find it hard to leave. Domestic abuse is still normalised by many people so many victims think they're obliged to tolerate some of it. Also a lot of women might be financially completely dependent on their husbands so it makes leaving a marriage very hard. Lower divorce rates =/= happy marriages
Not really this just a biased guess.
@@sampatkalyan3103 I think people who are emotionally manipulated and face domestic violence would have a harder time speaking up, for example in villages domestic violence is very common and is considered "normal" and not a reason to divorce. I literally have heard my house keeper stay this stuff
I totally agree this is just what I was thinking! plus divorce has more stigma and blame for women which is why it might be harder to leave
it annoyed me that they didn't even bring up the topic of abuse and non consensual marriages, because all of those marriages are arranged AND forced. it's the majority of married peoples lives in india, not the privileged people here who were able to divorce without facing daunting stigma or loss of their financials.
@@xoz-- agreed!
Im indian and my parents got an arranged marriage. Even though they both cheat on each other, do not love each other, dont want to be together, they wont get divorced because my dad needs someone to take care of the kids and house, and my mom needs the finical support. theres a low divorce rate in indian couples out of necessity to be together and cultural upstanding, not because they love each other and want to be together.
Damn u exposed your family like that that was braved
I think it's much better, but it's best don't get married.
"Arranged marriage really helps, because the person is constantly obliged."
Self burn, guys. Those are rare.
It's like love marriages don't make you responsible and obliged at all by that vague statement in the video.
Time stamp??
Aastha was the most mature person, calling them out but also trying to be respectful. It was downright mean of Rina to invalidate the newspaper experience. The man on the anti-arranged side had a lot of valid points. Pankhuri definitely tried to understand and represented her side well. It was annoying to watch Rina and Pradhyuman.
Yah Rina seems like just a nasty person and Pradhyuman is so stuck up.
@THE ZOLDICS @THE ZOLDICS I've clearly mentioned Pankhuri represented her side well. Having an opinion is one thing, NOT being aware that your opinion comes from a place of privilege and cutting people off while they're talking is another thing.
Also, I never asked them to shutup or curtail their "freedom of speech", I'm just excercing my right to "freedom of speech" to point out their mistakes
Aastha is young, too young to be in the discussion, I would have excluded her because she hasn't had experience in all this. She saw some personal experiences and decided how things should be. Life is much more complicated than that.
@Kamaboko Gonpachiro force my views through RUclips comments? Not at all. I am trying to derive logic from comments that don't make sense. I didn't watch that guy before so I have no prejudice against him.
@Kamaboko Gonpachiro ok
Everyone: Debating over arranged marriage or anti-arranged marriage
Me: Anti marriage
Why?? May I ask
Gurlll same
Ayee 🙌
Every time I say I dont want to get married because of the mess that is of divorce (plus weddings cost too much), people tell me I shouldn't be together with my future lover. I'm just being realistic here.
People dont need to get married to say they're together.
We should start a club
One of the reasons for arrange marriage is to avoid end up being single parent from failed and baseless relationships
I am a Fulani from West Africa, and I can relate a lot with the issues being discussed in here. The divorce rate in my ethnic group is extremely low too,and most marriages are arranged...But almost 90% of those marriages are miserable,and there is this fear of divorce, because for women, it will be extremely difficult for them to remarry and men that are in unhappy marriages can always cheat and if caught they either marry a second, third or fourth wife.
But I am very happy now that a lot of the new generation are going in for love marriages, and even if it fails at the long run, you've at least lived with someone you actually loved!
Exactly! That's the whole point pro arranged people missed. I'd say love marriages are also risky no doubt but still better than arrange marriages with no choice of leaving it cuz of society.
@@purple_moacarat because imagine living with someone you don't love...arghhh it gives me the creeps😖
@@RaihannaJallow same here. Bcz if y'all want friends than be friends why gotta marry friends 😭
@akshay bhat Abuse and unhappiness isn't a small reason. When my parents divorced the family got wayyyyyy more peaceful. In fact I wish they separated years ago so their fights wouldnt have escalated so much.
@akshay as a person whose parents marriage was arranged and let me tell you … i wish divorce would be an option for my parents but it’s unfortunately not
I honestly think that when rina was in New York she was talking to people who read too much Watpad stories
I can't agree more 💀
Lmao , why did you come so hard at me 😁😁
honestly i feel like her friends probably said they couldn’t find a nice guy and they wish one would just come to them and she turned that into they want an arranged marriage
@@Angelitaxx yeah this happens a lot
💯💯💯
Parents be telling you not to talk to strangers but won't mind getting you married to one (:
And many little girls get married to old people who are like 10-15 years older than them
@@aqua1675 yes my mom and dad is 10 years apart and i always see them fighting soo i don't need to to arrange marriage if they put me in arrange marriage I would not to any work sleep all day look in the phone jot mind anyone
@@aqua1675 I am first gen Indian-American, and my mom got married to my dad when she was 17 and he was 27. So yeah...
I'ma write that down.
parents be weird af
Pradyuman was recently accused by his wife of domestic violence,so he really shouldn’t be an ambassador for any kind of marriages.
The most Indian thing here was probably not the discussion or the topic of discussion but people talking over each other. Felt like home🤗🤗
I'm, not Indian but dam I gotta rate this. Jubilee doing projects out of America and doing something significant to the culture is cool.
They need to come to the uk next
@@Teni-yh5xz not the colonisers uh huh no
@@sp3ctralbrid384 It’s hard to believe there are people like you...
@@sp3ctralbrid384 I don’t mean just the actual white people like everyone literally the same videos they make in America just the uk version 😂😂😂
@@Teni-yh5xz ?? Jubilee's American videos ALL have racial diversity. Have you even watched their videos? It is not all white people.
I'm a leftist and Jubilee does a pretty good job of having a diverse panel.
I feel the youngest lady was openly disrespected, spoken over, and dismissed during the conversations and I think that made her point very clearly.
@H V I have no doubt it is what she is use to. I see it in her face. I recognized it because I was raised in a similar fashion. I grew up being dictated to all the facets of my life with very few having a interest in my own wishes or desires. I was expressing my disappointment that even in the discussion she was unable to express herself the way she would have liked to, because I understand that type of frustration. I certainly meant no cultural aimed offense and apologize if that was the direction my comment appeared to travel. It's a hard then to have no voice.
despite the fact that she made the most sense
it's a cultural thing in Asia
always respect the elders,because they always know what's the best for you :)
@@pallavi6013 not all elders.
@H V I literally had to yell at my parents and basically tell them to fu ck off and stop telling me what to do. They never listened to me if I did anything else.
Rina: arranged marriages are the best.
Also Rina: My arranged marriage failed and I'm divorced. But they are still the best esp bc my New York friends say so.
Love marriages fail waay more often but still youre anti Arranged.
So you and she are kind of similar...
Love marriage works meanwhile USA has more divorce rate is that because of love marriage????
Died at 12:00. Aastha literally just told that them their personal experiences aren't close to the reality in India and the lady proceeds to tell her about her family.
Yeah the youngest is apparently the wisest.
This Pradhyuman guy lacks a stand point, he dosen't even know what he's talking about. Says he's pro-arranged marriage and then goes, "You sit down and explain I really love her, really want to be with her..."
Boy, thats love marriage you're takling about, not arranged marriage, duh!
He is that boy jisse koi pati nahi simple
@@mitakshrabhargav9530 lol
Exactly!!! I was thinking the same thing the whole time. He is soo confused...he doesn't have a clue of what he is saying, and who's side he is taking...???
@@mitakshrabhargav9530 he is a mEcHaNiCaL eNgIneRr
Yes!
Rina knows exactly why there is less divorce rate(Social Stigma) She's not here to find a middle ground. She just wants everyone to know that she has friends in US and she knows polo. Her defense was always that "I have friends who love Arranged marriages".
Exactly 😂
well she also told you that she herself had an arranged marriage...
😂😂😂💯💯
And you are here to deceive people into thinking that divorce rates are only low due to social stigma. As if arranged marriages can’t work or never have even though almost all arranged marriages work our very well
@@tdoggg8796 divorce rates in any country isn’t a number of how many people are in a loving relationship. So why are you trying to say that divorce rates being extremely low, aren’t taking in account loving relationships?
My relationship is fine, but I’m not using my relationship to discount those who have needed to divorce. (Divorce is less stigmatized where I live since the ‘60s are so.)
The lady in the white kurti and high heels rubs me the wrong way. the hypocrisy is just unbelievable. How are you going to give examples from your personal life to defend your stance, but then criticise others when they do the same????
not to mention isnt she lying... she said she have nieces friends etc who succeeded in arrange marriages but then say she’s the only one who got arranged for marriage. like she’s so ridiculous
I started the video supporting pro-arranged but this really changed my mind. Most pro points hold only when in a position of privilege. And even then, it is a gamble.
Pankhuri is the embodiment of a conditioned Indian woman. All of her experiences about arranged marriage are extremely unpleasant yet she “believes” that arranged marriage is the way go.
u mean pleasant?
@@pragnan8112 No, they meant extremely UNpleasant. Being judged for her weight, class and more whilst in the arranged marriage crap, and also almost getting divorced cause her relationship was so bad after the first 3 years, but STILL supporting arranged marriage. It was unpleasant, which she even said herself, and its sad how she still things arranged marriage is good.
@@yulana990 yeah,I also thought that was weird
@@yulana990 you get judged for you physical attributes on dating apps as well? Physical attraction is the first thing humans notice and men kind of over value it.
So how’s that anything new in arranged marriages? It happens everywhere lol
@@siddhant... On dating apps if people judge you for your physical attributes they don't do it in front of you or say it to you. If they don't like you, they don't swipe on you, and you never know what they thought about you or who they are so you don't feel sad.
I feel that Aastha had soo much more to say but doesn't wanna waste her energy or doesn't want to offend anyone
Yea cos all the others were like 30+ ,and she probably felt uncomfortable voicing her opinions I guess. I mean 22 is still very young.
Yah, it's a shame they treated her opinions as less valid just because they think age=intelligence
@@arrow2589 Yeah. That's just sad. I agreed with her all the time
Nahhh...I think she was trying to be more argumentative and not trying to understand the other opinions...she was clearly annoyed and couldn't accept another opinion different from her own...the fact that she mentioned privilege says it all!
@@arrow2589 when tho
The group here is more privileged than any average Indian. Not a correct representation of the entire population. I'm pro love and pro arranged marriage. Though I'll never go for arranged myself, I think people are different and they marry for different reasons. Some might do it for love whereas others will do it just for companionship. But what I'm against is forced marriage. And a lot of arranged marriages are forced in rural India and only happen within the same caste. Racism, Elitism and Dowry, also take root here.
Tbh they represent the us demographics, cause most of them immigrating to us are from petty high privileged backgrounds.
All these wanna be wokes
All bad things throw to India meanwhile In middle East people marry through arranged marriage people say they are preserving their traditions wow see them haha
Aastha presents herself so well, a very well spoken woman💕
Rina's ideology revolves around the fact that if her American friends got into arranged marriage, it must be a good thing.
Yeah it's like gore krre h toh it's cool 🥴🥴🥴
Ikr, its like she wants gora people's validation for everything
Lmaoo she is so ignorant
Agree
@@ramkapoor3630
Gora people 😭💀 lmao
Does anyone ever feel like they could've contributed so much to the conversation if they were there??
Who?
Good question indeed. I feel like there could have been more things to bring into this conversation. I also would have liked if they brought Middle Easterns to this because it’s different there
Me in all the middleground episodes though
yess, i feel that in every episode
I got a casting call for this but then got covid so I couldn't obviously be a part of this. And damn I feel there was a serious lack of representation. Almost everyone is upper middle class or fairly rich here
Aastha here spitting facts like no ones business!! And loved how being the youngest of the group she still shared points that are more hollistic and universal rather than the narrow perspective these 10 12 years of her senior hold.
Can we talk about how agonizing the arranged marriage process must be for closeted LGBTQ+ people? I’ve heard some pretty bad stories and I feel like arranged marriages only exacerbate the hardships they face.
@DSA Divi Um what does “prior to lgbt” mean? They’ve literally existed since the beginning of human civilization, it’s just that people are becoming more open about it. There are actually many examples of LGBTQ+ people in ancient Indian mythology.
@DSA Divi huh??
It’s the one lady saying that arranged marriage is about “growing together” after saying that she got a divorce because her and her partner “grew apart”for meeeee sis
The hypocrisy!!!! Is he speaks from a position of privilege and it shows!
🤣🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌩️⛈️🌀
the architect also "grew apart" from his love marriage
lol you act like people who marry for "love" dont get divorced. The numbers dont lie
@@liggmabawls5634 At least they get divorced rather than being in a abusive relationship. And the cases of Domestic Violence is much higher in India "numbers don't lie"
I think Aastha realised real quick that the others views were coming from a place of privilege and that they wouldn’t except or understand a balanced argument because of their experiences
It’s funny but as I was reading your comment Astha mentioned the exact same thing! 😄
Yah the pro marriage side was really snooty and stuck up. They needed more social diversity for sure. Everyone there was just stuck in a privilage bubble.
@@arrow2589 especially the make up artist woman. She constantly talked about how her marriage worked out because her parents were liberal(just like her husband's) but she failed to understand that her situation was a total exception. She cant use her own exceptional marriage as evidence against the negatives of arranged marriage when in reality, the negatives are far more normalized for a majority of Indians. She may have been blessed with open minded parents and family, but not a lot of indians are. It's like arguing metals are liquid and using the one exception, mercury, as your prime example.
@@moon.937 yes exactly, she seemed convinced that because her one case worked out the way she liked that everyone's life would be the same. Like I am not Indiana but even I know how terrible some of those situations are.
It honestly seems like cognitive dissonance.
Or like the your love will grow part is just so rapey
@@moon.937 great example 👌🏼
I think arranged marriage is alright as long as the bride and groom get the choice.
Pradhyuman’s wife filed a domestic violence case against him.
Rina in a nutshell:
"Arranged marriage is hip in America y'all."
"I've younger friends"
"I've been to New York"
Lmaooo the accuracy
“I play polo and I’m a DJ.” LOL
i know right 😭😭 like okay? your point?
@@r3fv774 she’s talking through that superiority complex. I get classist vibes tbh.
@@akon9162 no wonder she’s pro arranged marriage. It’s all about class and external appearance
Rina: arranged marriage is the best, I recommend it for everyone and it worked excellently for me and it will for you too
Also Rina: I am divorced
If not getting a divorce is a Perimeter for a successful marriage then arrange marriages on average are more successful then love marriages.
Ps. I support love marriages
Rina's Ex-husband laughing **insidiously**😂😂
@@TarunSingh-cg3wp ye, I second that.
Totally!
@@TarunSingh-cg3wp This is marriage, not a plant ☘️ that you want for growing.
Marriage is for having a life partner to rely on when things go bad.
Finding that right partner should be your choice and you should face the consequences of that action.
It's about sticking together till the end.
Arranged marriage is a back up option for someone who can't find their Love.. Simple! End of conversation🤧
agree 😀
Yes and what's wrong with that.
Not everyone needs to spend their time on useless social apps and sleep around with a bunch of people.
This comment hit home for me.
@@sumarianprince if that is the reason, an arranged marriage is not the best option.
@@sorayag.mirandae.1809 LOL, sometimes that's the easiest way. You guys think love is everything don't you, I see losers wasting tons and tons of money dating random people.
Those who are pro arranged marriage can't seem to deal with their own relationships at all. As if they always had to involve someone else in order to solve marital issues, because they're not emotionally mature to do that. It's as if they never grew up. Being an adult is all about taking responsabilities.
Finding love yourself is hard, it has nothing to do if you're immature, lazy or not or being forced. What a rubbish comment you just said lmaooo. Not everyone can find love, life isn't a fairytale, face reality. Arranged marriage is a solution where the parents can be the matchmakers and you give CONSENT to marry them eventually if you like them. If it's FORCED then it's BAD
@@ju5379If you can't find love, why do you have to marry? Marriage isn't an obligation. Just work on yourself and eventually you'll find someone whom you can love. Arranged marriages are the only thing which is keeping caste system alive.
@@Sameer-xm6pp How does it keep caste system alive? That's only if you abuse it. If a person wants to marry whatever way they want, then let them. Who are you to control what people should do lmao
@@Sameer-xm6pp Plus I'm not a Hindu so I don't know how caste system works in Hinduism. I just know what the typical arranged marriage is which is to find someone for marriage from your family members recommendations
Suvir putting an end to Rina is a whole ass mood lmaoooo
hi
@@opheliaheng5882 DID YOU JUST
i loved that part what a king
best part of the video
Time stamp?
These people are not the demographic most affected by arrange marriage. The poorer younger helpless girls who got sold by their family to older men are. I want to see they talk about that.
Yes of course but not just them (by being sold or forced), it could be with a man of any age and a woman who isn’t young could be the victim.
That’s not how it works
People give their daughters off in arranged marriage to men who will take care of them like they did. Not sell them off for money.
@Anti Trans Activist big words coming from anti trans activist, I shouldn’t have expected better 🙄
The poorer younger girls AND boys
Remember boys can suffer too.
I'm surprised they missed out the choice element. The elephant in the room is its a way for parents to force their children to marry who they want, and stop their children having relationships on their own terms.
Astha's look at 12:23 is literally me. These people obviously come from a very privileged place and seem to have a disconnect with reality in India 😭😭
I felt that most of the points put forward by Rina and Pradhyuman actually made no sense. They really were speaking from a place of privilege.
Ikr!!
true....
They were like our parents our up for intercaste marriages and people you come from a place of overprivileged rich Delhiites.... They won't understand anything else coz they are in maybe liek the top 1%
I have second hand embarassment every time Pradhyuman opens his mouth 😭✋
You are not alone 😔
🤢
Ughhh me too
Why the hell would you find your daughter a husband from a newspaper ad …
LMAO ONLY IN INDIA
Lmao, I kid you not these arent that uncommon here. But I hope they are not a thing in the near future
It's better than finding in a bar.
@@kaeez Marriage is not advertisement, finding match is advertising. Be it in dating or arranged.
The only problem with Indian edition is that most of the people invited are super privileged. Most of them don't even know what average Indians go through!
That girls face when they didn't admit to their insane amount of privilege 👁👄👁
I love how astha was lowkey getting irritated by them and judging them with her eyes. Love her.
You love how she was irritated by people just because they disagree with her?
@@fusososososo3507 Not because they disagreed with her but because at how absurd the reasoning that backs up their stand - like the guy; "girls are obligated to talk to me, but they reject me in this dating app and since I don't want to put effort in finding a real working relationship, I'll have mommy and daddy arrange a girl for me." It's ridiculous~ or how the other girl was "I know people in America, they said arranged marriage is great, so I say it's great, even though I'm a product of failed arranged marriage, I can't be wrong because the people in America says so" any one with a functioning brain could see the absurdity of these reasoning.
@@fusososososo3507 well, she did try to question them and they simply dodged her probes
@@axisboise and they were shutting her off probably because of age
Suvir: "No you let me complete please ,sorry " he definetly put her in her place 😂😂 15:13
And then spoke facts
I think arranged marriage is not evil. It's pretty much a formal way of dating these days bc you still have the freedom to say no. But I reflect that having this ability to say no is a privilege when it shouldnt be. Forcing arranged marriage on people is what gives it a bad rep and honestly that truly sucks.
I would pick Aastha to represent me in a court 🙋♀️
Hella!
She's a lawyer student too😉
@@lotuswolf1518 why ?
Basically what pradyumn said is that real relationships take too much effort to build so I'll just depend on mumma papa to select a girl for me, minus the effort and risk
Oh my god 🤣🤣
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 lmao
pretty much. also his fear of rejection
Yeah, 100 % true
It’s about investment dear men like to invest their time and money only if there’s a return coming back if not no man would want to waste his emotions or time on someone
Aastha- don't u think you are coming from a place of privellage and don't actually know how indian arrange marriages wor-
Rina- soo my cousin is gujrati....
I felt like the pro arranged marriage people are playing it safe ... They can't take the responsibility of making the "mistake" of being in love with the wrong person... like If they had an arranged marriage and the partner turns out to be not compatible , then getting a divorce is ok.. but having a brkup or having a divorce after love marriage isn't acceptable 😅
Same goes for love marriage lmaooo. All these cons you think of applies to love marriages too. Everything in life has risks and rewards, life isn't a fairytale, you need to face reality
Arranged marriages are sorta like gambling.. you don't know if you'll be the luckiest person ever or you'll regret it forever
Isnt that the same with love marriages?
its not a forced marriage ffs...
This is why you meet with the other and talk a lot
I agree the possibility is high in arrange marriage but this it’s the same in love marriages too
@@assassin9763 can't say. Love marriages are still frowned upon and the girl/boy is treated like an outcast if they choose to go down that path in most places even today.
Rina literally blamed akansha for choosing a newspaper boy , but that’s the entire point . Those ads exist because people DO marry like that . And THATS the point , lots of people DO fall for it
Yah, that lady is not nice at all. She is the coworker no one likes
That's the poor attempt at Arrange marriage, her father should have been more aware. In Love marriage there are far more Scam. That point was so poor in the conversation, it was her experience. That point is invalid because Good things can be done poorly . You can't Blame Process for that,
@@piyushchaudhari5508 Um yes you li can blame the process for that the whole problem is the process of arranged marriages Is that it's rooted in sexism and the caste system. It takes advantages of family who have women and benefits the men.
@@arrow2589 no, originally it was not. People are exploiting it that's the problem. Anyways I was talking about her father innocence/stupidity . Far bigger Scams can be seen in love marriages too. This point of her imo added nothing to the debate.
@@arrow2589 also, now things are changing, most of the time girls are given choice . There is time given between 2 people meeting and wedding for example 6 months to let them know compatibility and etc. . And now if you see more power is in favour of girls in arrange marriages, they also get to choose the boys (Cannot say for all but in higher class and middle class mostly which constitute the majority). I had be fool if I said the process was perfect for this time that we live in or is carried out properly. But Change is happening and will improve more with time. If process isn't carried out properly and changes can make it better. I see no problem with Arrange marriages. Also, there is this false notion that most of the arrange marriages couple are unhappy which is false (or at least there is no proof to it) . Yes there are cases but I don't think it's enough to equate the to most
Let's get this straight the percentage of divorce within arranged marriage people are less because of the pressure from the family to adjust to even the harshest of treatments . Physical and mental abuse
Mainly related to dowry .
To anybody watching this. Better watch Satyamev Jayate on arranged marriages. You will know the ground reality.
Aastha is going to excel in her Law career, she spits facts.
And will be living with her 30 cats alone 😂
@@anchess2517 that "high quality man" doesn't want an equal for him? That a woman's ability to be able to express her beliefs threaten him? Then HE doesn't deserve that woman.
@@siddhant... way happier than being stuck with someone you don't want. Plus, cats are hella cute. So it's a win-win situation.
@@bhaktiagarwal5859 yeah in a Disney movie.
@@anchess2517 who says that? I'm a woman, and I DON'T want a superior authority, I want a life partner. I don't want a hierarchy, no woman wants a heirarchy in her relationships. And your views sound like it came out of a 1950s outdated newspaper column. We are in 2021, for goodness sake. Neither a man should want a heirarchy in relationships nor a woman. And an argumentative "nagging" woman is a woman who realises her potential. And if a "high quality" man doesn't want that, looks like he's not that much of a high quality.
The pro arranged marriage people here are
1. Already divorced from a arranged marriage
2. About to divorce
3. Lazy to put effort so mumma papa will chose for me
Exactly!!
True
agreed
I feel like they didn’t choose the pro arranged marriage people well. They should’ve chosen people who genuinely believed in it and were successful in it, be it pro or anti.
The conclusion.
Arranged marriage sucks. I did it and now I am getting a divorce. It destroyed mine and my childs life.
Yeah it really does, both my aunts’ husbands turned out to be horrible men and now the fathers of their children are in prison. Even my own mother had a divorce before and that was the result of arranged marriage
Aastha giving us the progessive desi gen z representation we need