The Challenges I Have Faced Homeschooling an Advanced Learner | It's not as easy as people think!
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- Опубликовано: 15 июл 2024
- This is a tough subject for me to talk about but I also think it's important. Many people don't realize that homeschooling an advanced learner, while easy at times, comes with many challenges as well. I'll go over some of those challenges here.
💌 Contact me - makinghomeschoolhappen@gmail.com
0:00 Intro
1:07 How did I know I had an advanced learner?
2:45 Challenge I - Curriculum
4:39 Challenge II - Social Stigma/Negative Opinions (in public & the homeschool community)
11:36 Challenge III - Battling perfectionism
14:05 Challenge IV - Managing my own expectations
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Socially, our kids tell others the grade they’d be in if they were part of the school system. At home, we just buy whatever curriculum meets their needs no matter how much higher than their “real” grade level.
That's a great idea!
I’m in the same boat with my son who just turned four last month. He’s my math guy. Picked it up on his own and loves numbers. He’s been doing kindergarten math “curriculum” since he was three. But he has known kindergarten level stuff since he was two. He’s a whiz with phonics and started reading at three. But he’s not mature enough for other language arts concepts, nor do I want to bother with any of that yet. So I’m trying to nurture what he’s into, find stuff that’s just the right fit for skill level and interest (the kid craves information), and not worry about the rest for now.
“Nurture what he’s into, find stuff that’s just the right fit for skill level and interest”… BINGO. 😊
After watching your video I guess I have advanced learners too. I’ve never looked at them as advanced learners because we’ve just spent the last 12 years following their lead. My 11 year old twins are starting “8th grade” and my 14 year old is stating “11th grade” and has been dual enrolled in college for the last year. I always celebrate them in the home and socially. Especially when we get around family and friends at Basketball, volleyball and cheerleading practices. I’ve never had anyone turn their noses up at us but maybe I’m just lucky to be in a highly supportive community. I hate that so many people seem to share your experience. That really sucks. I hope that changes for you and everyone else who feels judged by celebrating your achievements. I do want to say great job to you and your husband for creating an environment that allows your child to thrive and feel supported. 🎉❤
@@georgeniasmith5618 thank you so much! I love this comment so much! 😊
I’m so glad to hear you say all of this. I’m a working mom who “after schools” my advanced kiddo and I know it is bragging. I also know that I am so proud of the work we are doing TOGETHER, and I’m playing the long game here…. Not everything is about staying in the moment. We can get these kids into elite schools or to pass high level equivalencies early so they can pursue passion projects.
Just like you said. We slow down for the kids who need and we don’t shame moms for meeting their kids where they are at or “intentionally” slowing down to keep them on level.
I’m teaching her to deal with normal expectations and not bragging. I’m teaching her to value that God made her smart but maybe not as strong - to see what others have and value them. I’m teaching her that her hard work early on may* allow her to choose more of how she spends her free time.
I’m also trying to teach other parents that “gifted” can also be attained, and we should stop shaming smarts as a culture.
Yassssss momma! I love all of this so so much!
Can I tell you what a blessing it was to hear your testimony. I know it is hard to share your struggles, but this came to me at the most perfect time. We just finished my son’s kindergarten year and he taught himself multiplication and is independently researching black holes. Sometimes, it is a struggle with advanced learners. Although I have an amazing homeschool community who praises my son and take joy in his achievements, I don’t have many friends that can relate in the struggle of challenging the advanced learner. Thank you, this was a blessing,
Oh my goodness, you are so so kind. 🥹 I am so glad it spoke to you. It’s a bit of a different world with advanced learner. Just follow your mama heart - it knows exactly what he needs. ❤️
Wow, I didn’t even realize this was a thing. Every child needs to move at their own pace. If you are not the educator of the child, then it is not your responsibility or business to decide what that looks like. She has great support! 😊Thanks for sharing.❤
@@amandamendoza4181 thank you!
Yes. All of this!! Thank you!! 🙌🏻 I'm so blessed to have a SIL who also has an advanced learner, so we have each other to encourage and rant to lol. Half the time, most people are just asking for age/development reference, so I always base my son's grade on public school enrollment cut-off, not the academic work he's doing. He's an emerging Kindergartener by age, but doing 1st/2nd grade work. This helps me (and everyone else) keep non-academic expectations in check. He's still 5 and neurodivergent. Just bc he's able to do higher level work, doesn't mean he's socially and behaviorally at that level. Same with reading material. Perfectionism is definitely a struggle here too (on both ends 🤦🏻♀️). Would love to hear more about navigating that! We're hoping the rigor of Memoria Press is the right fit for us. Love the customizability of their program and academic rigor.
Keep on keeping on and thank you so much for sharing ❤
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I think I will definitely continue to talk about perfectionism as we experience and navigate it - it can be so tough! Thank you so much! 😊
Hi there! I feel everything you are saying!! I'm so thankful that there's another homeschool mom on RUclips talking about gifted education. 😊
I was an unidentified gifted homeschool kid, and I finally discovered my neurodivergency when I started seeing my own son learning things so quickly. We started formal academics at 3 with him, and he's been thriving!😊
If you haven't looked into it yet, then I highly suggest you start educating yourself on the neurodivergency experience for gifted individuals since it doesn't just affect "advanced academics," as you referenced in the perfectionism section.
@@KSLewisLearning thank you!!! And great info, I will definitely look into the ND experience you mentioned.
@@Making_Homeschool_Happen As a starting point for you, I just made this video about some of the social/emotional part, and there are a ton of resources in the description which have been very useful for me. ruclips.net/video/3pgVDQ8qq2g/видео.htmlsi=r1DKFS3E6hCtOiLA
I'll be watching your journey! ❤️
@@Making_Homeschool_Happen I did a video a few months back about the social/emotional issues around giftedness, and the description has a ton of resources which would be a great place to start looking into this. They've been a huge help to me!
ruclips.net/video/3pgVDQ8qq2g/видео.htmlsi=r1DKFS3E6hCtOiLA
Advanced learners "scare" people just as much as special needs learners. Thank you for sharing this!!!
I had not thought of it this way but I think you are right. 🤔 Thank you!
Oh my.... Your video really resonated with me and our three children. We knew very early on that our oldest which is now 11, he was very advanced for his age when he was about 4 years old and didn't really yet talk much. We put him in school and soon found out that the grade he was in at age 4 ½ was a little bit easy for him. He didn't really go to school much before then but like a little preschool. The preschool really didn't teach him anything. He read pretty much early. It was hard for us to find books that will keep his interest because I knew that he could read really good but I didn't want to put mature content in front of him that could be inappropriate. When he turned 7, we decided to homeschool all three of our children because we just thought that it would be best. The pandemic hit and we started homeschooling. Come to find out, he got really bored of learning fast and didn't want to learn anymore. He didn't want to do any of the assignments because he said that they all too easy for him and he wanted to have more material that was challenging. At the time, our middle child was in kindergarten and we found out that he was also an advanced child. He picked up on things pretty fast. We saw that could add numbers really fast in his head. I was like wow he just is 5 years old. He was able to read like in a month. Also he shown us that he was able to articulate words beyond his age. Everybody would tell us what school did he go to, he's very smart. I'll say homeschool. They'll say, huh what. They did not believe me that my child was homeschooled maybe because their beliefs on homeschool. Then our last child, our daughter didn't want to learn at the beginning. She wanted to learn, but she didn't want to learn how to read. I say she didn't want to read until about age 6 ½. When she did read, we found out she was also an advanced child. I say all this to tell you that you aren't alone in this advanced child situation. Some children are just like that. Sometimes us homeschooling them is the worst thing because they my need more than just us parents teaching them. Have you ever truly sat down to think that your child might just be advanced at home with you, but needs to be challenged more. Sometimes we as our children's parents aren't able to do that because there's no other child that we can challenge them with. It's in school settings with their peers where there're other children that may be smarter than them so they get challenged those type of situations. Still just what you said in your video I just our children still very young and you don't want to take that away from your child. This is so true to me. That's why we decided not to homeschool our 3 children anymore and put them into the real world. We found a really good Christian school in our area that we can trust and believe they have good morals and materials to teach them. Because our children are very much advanced for their young ages (11, 10, and 8), we want them to see if they would be very advanced with other children their ages. Letting them be other children to see how they do in a school setting would help us become humble about this advanced child thing. I told our oldest son that when he go to school that you're going to have reports, projects, homework and may get classmates that are smarter than you. So, I informed our 2 boys that because they think that school is the best way in learning and they don't want me nor my husband (their dad) to teach them because they got bored and more, that the grass is not greener on the other side. Have you ever tried to put your child into a school to challenge her more. I believe that will help her to calm down a little bit when it comes to feeling like everything has to be so correct, which is our middle child's personality at the moment. He believes that when he's wrong how come he's wrong, why do he get it wrong, and what could he done better. It's crazy. Right? That's just children's personalities. Have you ever thought about finding a Co-op with other children where she could see other children's getting taught and how they respond to failure. You should tell her she's not going to get it all correct every single time.
I appreciate your video. Thanks!
Thank you for your comment! I’m so glad you found what works best for you and your children. My child thrives in homeschool and one on one instruction at her level is definitely what is best for us. We are making great headway on the perfectionism and she’s definitely starting to understand that it’s ok to not get it right all the time - it’s a process! Thank you so much for sharing your story! 😊
THANK YOU!! For talking about this. My twins are like this and ive gotten a lot of comments about them. "Oh you are forcing them to do school." "You are bragging" "no way they can do that, they are only 3 (or whatever age they are at that time).
It is very difficult and ive found its better to keep my mouth shut.
Yeah, it’s really crazy isn’t it? There are actually a lot of us who experience this so you are not alone. I just navigate it best I can situation to situation. I’m so glad you enjoyed the video! Thank you!!😊
Colleen at Raising Lifelong Learners has a podcast all about this. Sevin In All has some good RUclips videos about this as well. Read Aloud Revival has a podcast episode about young kids with advanced reading levels and how to navigate that. I have found all these really helpful.
You're definitely not alone!! I'm so glad to hear another voice talking about this. Thanks for being brave.
Thank you so much! I’ll look into those!
The relatability of this video is everything. Thank you for sharing
Oh thank you!! I appreciate that so much. 😊
Thanks for being honest and sharing.
Thank you! 😊
💯 % YES!!! Thanks for the video, I needed this today 🙏🏽
You’re so welcome! 😊
We're in our 16th year of schooling at home. I've never subscribed to grade levels; when people ask, my kids just share how old they are. My go-to booklist is Ambleside online for challenging yet not too mature content. In our home, it's important to us that our children do not derive their value from earthly achievements; hard work and diligence is worthy of praise, but acing standardarized tests? No way-- I don't share the results unless they ask because in the whole scheme of things standardized tests are meaningless.
If your goal is to have a family culture that is curious about God and His creation and to raise up children who are hard working are life-long learners, it shifts the focus away from all these wordly labels and comparison traps.
Thank you so much for sharing! And 16 years… that’s AMAZING!
Oh my goodness I just subscribed because I needed this! My son just turned 7 in February, does the same work as his 4th grade brother. Another boy about to turn 6, almost done with his second grade curriculum. I have five kids. This is valuable to me and I thank you for sharing and can relate completely! I haven’t experienced the bragging thing, but the perfectionist issue is no joke. Your thoughts on expectations remain solid point in my mind constantly! I wanna hear more!
Oh I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Your boys sound very similar to my daughter. 😀 The perfectionism is so hard to watch sometimes and I tell her she never stood a chance because she was born to two perfectionist parents. 🤣 She now says to me a lot of the time, “it’s a blessing and curse, isn’t it mommy?” She might have picked that up from a few of our conversations about it. 😆
Same here i homeschool my granddaughters my 8 years old also do 4 and 5 grade levels.My 5 is going to do second grade but also feel like im moving to fast. Thanks for your video.
Nahhh, move as they need too. 😊
Thank you so much for making this video I know exactly what you're talking about I'm homeschooling my grandson who is 5 years old not even in kindergarten yet but is on a third grade reading level of course we've done kindergarten but according to his age he's not supposed to be even in school yet he could start public school this coming school year and I just don't know what to do as far as his reading books and everything else also so this is helped me a lot thank you so much
I’m so glad it was helpful! Don’t let age and typical grade placement based on age dictate anything. It’s great you’re trying to meet him where he is academically! 😊
Sorry! For the run-on, I was using voice control on my phone and hit send before correcting.😅
@@bettytuohy9875 no worries! I appreciate the comment regardless of how it come through. 😊
Thank you for this video. I was an advanced learner as a child and was made fun of for it in public school and now my daughter is also advanced. We don't share her success with many people outside of certain family members too. I have really loved homeschooling and specifically charlotte mason because we can just add more work to increase the difficulty, I've also enjoyed curriculum that is leveled and not grade specific so we can just keep leveling her up without changing her grade with her peers. I do wonder about the perfectionism thing because my daughter and I both struggle with this. I wonder sometimes if it is perfectionism or just that we don't have much experience overcoming difficulty and failure. I think the way you talk your daughter through it sounds really sweet. We add the word yet to our skills, that's something you don't know how to do do...yet, to remind her of the process. I also try to focus on her character and not so much her work, is she disciplining herself, doing her best effort, kind and helpful in ihr home?
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I love hearing from someone who went through this as a kid. And I LOVE what you say about focusing on character instead of the work! That is really great. I think I do that unintentionally but after reading this, I want to be more intentional with it. Thank you so much!!!
Yes I have a child that should be in K over halfway through an advanced 1sr grade program. I have an 8th grader going into 10th grade in the fall. I have found Christian Light Education to be the best option. It’s advanced (a grade level ahead) and made by a Mennonite company so all content is appropriate.
Thank you!! I’m always looking for options so I will definitely keep this in mind. So helpful!
Oh yes!! This resonates! It is a lonely path somedays
Right? It definitely can be and the keeping expectations in check is so so hard and gets more difficult as she gets older.
This might be a long comment (sorry) but I'm so glad you decided to make this video! I know I have an advanced learner. It's the reason I chose to homeschool because I knew she'd be bored in the public school system. And she's only 3! Actually not even, she'll be 3 in a few weeks but she's trying to read already. She was talking so early as a younger toddler, saying such long and strung out sentences so clearly. She knows all her letters and sounds. And so here I am thinking I'm getting ready for a prek3 type year but she seems to know everything that would already be gone over (colors, shapes, numbers, letters, sounds, parts of a word, rhyming). I keep thinking to myself am I making this up in my head but she asks, practically begs me to get our "school activities" out. Like it's so fun for her and I feel like I can't say no. Why? Because she shouldn't be doing "school" at 3? But I also just wanted to say I know it's not in my head because i have quite a few teacher friends who have seen some of the things she can do and they all seem to agree that she "shouldn't" be able to do that yet at her age, but she can.
It sounds like you might have an advanced kiddo! Definitely let her lead you. Just strike the balance of letting her learn but not overwhelming her. Have you heard of Preschool Prep Co? They have videos that teach digraphs, blends, and sight words. We had those just playing in the house and car all the time even if my daughter wasn’t paying attention. It was awesome and that was one of the keys to her reading early. 😊
Here is their website if you’re interested in taking a look. www.preschoolprepco.com
Thank you, I'll definitely check it out. But I really liked what you said about how homeschooling is about the flexibility and the customization - until apparently it's time to customize. But I have already heard from people to not push her because of her age but what people don't understand is I'm not the one doing the pushing here. Lol
@@krystleremington8845 yes!!!! And I think it comes from a well meaning place but unfortunately, they may just not fully understand because they may not have experienced it. YOU know her best so you decide what she needs to be doing to appropriately challenge her. My daughter cried throughout first grade because she was bored and frustrated… literal tears of frustration because she had mastered concepts and needed to move. That was the point I knew we weren’t going fast enough which is one of the reasons we skipped 2nd grade. I knew it was best for her just like YOU know what’s best in this situation. Let her and your mama gut guide you!!!
@@Making_Homeschool_Happen I opened a workbook (on my daughter's request 🤣) which is labeled for 4 year olds, and before I could even finish asking the question on the page she was pointing showing all the answers. And she's always right! I swear I'm shocked by her every day. And I hate telling this to other people because I sound "braggy" but she hasn't even turned 3 yet.
Can anyone else relate to this? I'd love to hear your thoughts or experiences!
especially the part about managing our (the teacher's) expectations. It always amazes me when he can finish doing something amazing and then get excited by something more on his grade/age level like stickers or a bouncy ball. lol
@@JanetteGellarRomanceAuthor omg! Yes! That is such a great example! My daughter will go from doing large long division to wanting to play with slime and a doll. 🤣🤣