the deepest dive into maru from stardew valley
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- join me on a scientifically deep dive into maru from stardew valley!
this is the ninth video in my stardew valley deep dive series. subscribe to catch the next one!
all gameplay footage is my own. all music (except transitions) is from the stardew valley ost.
sources:
- bluejazzhoney's survey (reddit post: / stardew_valley_spouse_... , results: docs.google.com/presentation/...)
- post about demetrius referenced in intro / call_me_captain_of_the...
- web.archive.org/web/202403080...
- stardewvalleywiki.com/Maru
- stardewvalleywiki.com/Robin
- stardewvalleywiki.com/Demetrius
- stardewvalleywiki.com/Sebastian
references:
- Princess Weekes - Martha Jones Deserved Better (And Other Correct Doctor Who Takes) • Martha Jones Deserved ...
- Mod - Maru Revised www.nexusmods.com/stardewvall...
- Mod - Maru with Twists www.nexusmods.com/stardewvall...
- Mod - Diverse Stardew Valley www.nexusmods.com/stardewvall... (Shane pic from diversestardewvalley.weebly.c...)
image credits:
- patriotic minion lmao www.neatoshop.com/product/Pat...
- maru working on gadget stardewvalleywiki.com/File:Ma...
DISCORD!!
- / discord
0:00 intro
0:34 intro to maru
16:56 2 hearts
20:00 demetrius tangent
42:11 2 hearts cont.d
45:11 4 hearts
53:07 6 hearts
1:01:26 8 hearts
1:07:20 dating / 10 hearts
1:19:42 marriage
1:25:47 14 hearts
1:32:16 summit / divorce
1:33:40 outro 
Развлечения
Technically Maru and Sebastian are half siblings since they share a mother, Robin. Aside from that, loving the breakdowns. 😊
oopsie. nice spot thank you!
@@fionasangster No problem. Keep up the great work! 😊
@@fionasangster The funny part is that at 3:08 you show Maru in the clinic saying, and I quote, "Sebastian is my half-brother, if you didn't know already."
watching that section, i think she knew/said all of that (and put text on the screen mentioning half-sibling ness) and just mixed up the wording :]!
@@fionasangsteryou’re my best friend I really like you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
i married maru because demetrius told me i couldnt and as soon as we were married all she would talk about eating too much cake and asking if she looked fat, even at 14 hearts. where did my confident stem wife go? i'm size 22 u.s. so the questions were doubly annoying. so what if you're fat? go build a death laser or something geez girl
Yeah it strikes me as one of those very specific "a man wrote this line and published it without consulting anyone" type of lines. Like Stardew is fucking great and I truly love it, but this and a the diversity thing, are just a few reasons why sensitivity readers and having a wider range of respected opinions going into a project are so important. Not that it's possible to iron out everything or that some things shouldn't be allowed to show a creator's bias or anything like that but hopefully I'm making sense haha.
@@silversugar2140Counterpoint: He was one guy who couldn't afford to pay himself. No one is gonna do work for a video game on a promise to pay if you make money
@@ironman_546 Oh yeah nah I get that. But I've also seen beta readers work for free on stuff all the time. I'm sure he had friends and family go through a lot of it anyway. Just maybe not a ton or any folks with the mindset to question things like that?
I'm not even saying it's that bad either. I just hope that issues like it don't crop up in CA's future works, personally. But again, certainly not the most egregious of lines I've seen in a game ever. I try to take the writing of Stardew in the best faith I can; I also haven't looked into CA heavily (nor so I want to since nothing's come to my attention) so it's not that big a deal to me either way.
I just hope critiques like this serve to remind folks of their biases and to reconsider other viewpoints and that CA is open to it but I am certainly not the right person to raise them as others have stated it better.
"So what if your fat? Go build a death laser or something geez girl." is such a confidence boost omg
@@pjwalden4020it’s such a funny line but it’s so cool too I wanna reference it from now on.
Re: Robin, she built the house they live in. Maru gets her own wing of the house with a private entrance and basement lab. Love that for her. Sebastian gets a basement room with no windows (which in many places cannot be legally called a bedroom) that he finds depressing. Robin is not perfect lmao
Oh my god, I never considered this... that's so bizarre!
Wondering if the lab would’ve been sebs bedroom and the basement the lab but something happened and sebby just agreed to have the basement to not upset anyone? (This is me projecting/headcanoning nothing is concrete and there is nothing in the games to suggest this as far as I know-)
I didn’t even realize he found it depressing! I haven’t friended him yet and I’d love a basement room haha
@lilyfae7197 - He gives mixed dialogue about the room. He has some lines where he says he doesn't need a window cause he's seen it all already, and times where he complains about sunlight anyhow, and he says his schedule was being up until 5 am working and then sleeping until 2 pm (so the basement would allow him to sleep without being disturbed by the light). At other times he complains about being musty and embarrassing.
No I agree, Robin in a way chose her new family. Which I think is a part of why the half siblings arent close.
I like in the 6 heart scene after she fails to confess her feelings, she has you look at a binary star system. What is more romantic than two stars circling each other? It's an expression of what she wasn't able to say out loud yet.
OMG 😭😭😭 we love her
oh god this literally made my heart ache that’s so beyond adorable
Elliott: writer
Leah: artist
Alex: gay
I SPIT OUT MY DRINK😭
is it wrong tho? no
@@aknavvy3188they're making a joke bro, just because it was funny doesn't mean it's wrong
@@erhiahn i too am making a joke. it was funny, and accurate. ergo laughter
tbh you can’t tell me they’re not all gay
@@sophiathefurbstfair
I am SO glad to be seeing Demetrius defense
LITERALLY OMG
Yeah absolutely, like of all the characters people think HE is the worst? Listen I love Pam, but she's objectively more of a dick to her offspring. and he gives me a cave filled with mushrooms! (or bats, I just find it easier to buy fruit trees). The Demetrious hate is sus at best
@@kararichard7534 Pam is worse to her daughter, that is true, but Pam's bad behaviour is pointed out as bad by the game. With the Demetrius scenes, the game treats all parties as equally valid, while Demetrius seems to instigate the conflict most times. So people are more vocal about their anger at him, because it feels like there are more differing opinions there.
He's not the best parent, but I can't believe the sub for his haters is bigger than Pierre's, and apparently the Clint hate sub only has like 3-4k members? But Clint is THE WORST
@@thevoidcritter I can’t help but think it’s because Sebastian is the fandom’s specialest babyest boy, so more people are up in arms about it.
Very important head cannon that I can’t let go of: Maru definitely developed an interest in things like robotics/technology because of Sebastian. She can’t help that she’s the golden child her older brother resents her, but she wants to be like him and be close to him 🥺 I wanted to do that everything my older brother did when I was younger. Almost all of my interests come from things my brother liked first.
Maru wants Sebastian to think her lil robot guy is cool.
53:01 omg as someone who’s from Detroit, hearing you try to imitate Eminem’s accent make me cackle
As the younger half-sibling who became an artist (different style tho) just to be more like their older brother--but refuses to outright admit that to him due to little sister reputation needing to be intact--how dare you do this to my heart. Headcanon fully accepted. Like damn, Imma cry now.
STOP IM TAKING THIS AS MY OWN HC
How DARE you put my emotions through this right now 😭 this is too cute, I am absolutely absorbing this
Oh my GOD as someone who has been dying for some kind of heart event where he and Maru bond over something like Seb helping Maru code a robot I accept this as my own little canon
r/fuckrobin would not be a subreddit about what you want it to be a subreddit about
i was thinking the same exact thing when she said that LMAO
She covered it in the video, didn't she?
As someone who often says the wrong thing, I agree wholeheartedly that demetrius gets way too much hate, but if I carved and built an ENTIRE BEDFRAME and the first thing someone said was "it's inefficient" I would be so upset. But then Robin takes him down so cold and calculated to do max damage. Her sprite does that vicious side eye, like she's not just mad or sad, it gives off the impression she hates him. And the fact that when you walk in, you have to say the bed is beautiful, which makes demitrius LEAVE (!!!) or say, without any context, "its inefficient", is NUTS. why do I have to take a side in a conversation I wasnt listening to? And this is my REWARD for collecting all that hardwood? no way. I do like the detail in the scene that sebastian gets upset when robin goes off on demetrius, and I think this is further proof that demetrius isn't an asshole to sebastian, because if he was truly a bad dad, I think Sebastian might enjoy seeing him get chewed out. Anyway, I'm glad I'm not the only one who absolutely overanalyzes this game lol. I love your videos and how you try to see the appeal of every bachelor and bachelorette! I think a lot of people base their feelings of these characters on their first impressions and don't bother looking further (which is fair, it is a video game) and I think that maru's two heart event being most people's first time even noticing that demetrius exists is definitely a big reason for the hate. I kind of love how messy that family is though, I love drama
Beauty _is_ function and Demetrius is just plain wrong about it being inefficient. Beauty is the point of the posts, beauty was achieved, the wood was used efficiently.
Demetrius just doesn't understand that his wife does art. Which is super weird because they are together long enough to have an adult daughter.
I agree that the choice the farmer is asked to make is super weird. The question should be phrased differently, at least
To be fair its also in general functional and efficient! Bed posts have helped both my parents when they broke their ankles(at different times/instances lol) it helps you get out of bed because you have something to hold onto!
Also ngl you don't have to ve an asshole to be a bad dad. You can be a good person and simultaneously a shit father. Ie. Ignoring your son.
I really like how you brought up the conversation about weaponized incompetence vs being neurodivergent and not understanding things like other people
Penny also hangs out with Maru in her room sometimes while she tinkers with her little gadget thingy iirc. It's cute :3
Yep! New to 1.6 and I love it. Also Penny has a dialogue that the robot electrocuted her as well :P
Your bank details and your mother's maiden name.
touché
Foiled again lol
Nailed it!!
6:13
Huh?
i wish CA would update her work uniform sprite so she would be in scrubs instead of the outdated nurse outfit 😭
LITERALLY
outdated? did people used to wear those?
@@sophiathefurbstyes. Some small nurse colleges will wear “nurse whites” for graduation but it’s very old school.
She has a job, she helps her dad with his job and most importantly, she made a robot that has sentience and she set him free. What an absolute Queen 👑
we love a woman in stem
So as a Stardew newbie with no clue about the fandom culture I was surprised to see how many people didn’t like Demetrius or are actively negative towards him and accusing him of stuff. From what I’ve seen a lot of it stems (lol) from fans being (ironically) over protective of Sebastian and Robin. Now, I am not a “I gotta save them” kinda girly, my besties make bad decisions all the time and I’ve learnt very early on that you gotta let people save themselves unless they ask for help, so players projecting their own negative experiences onto poor Demetrius and by extension Maru was obvious to me (and is something I’ve started noticing in other games and storytelling mediums as well). While Maru doesn’t interest me romantically I’m really sad her popularity is so low… I’m also biracial (same White Mom and Black dad) so it’s especially upsetting to think some folks don’t like her just because she’s dark skinned. That’s just vile and shallow… as for Demetrius while he’s not my fav he’s still a cool guy and honestly as someone who was abandoned by their dad I enjoyed seeing him be protective (even if he is overdoing it) of his daughter. I do wish there were more Seb and Demetrius interactions but that’s it. Also it was really funny when I got Maru’s 2 heart event because I was already married to Elliot and having Demetrius trying to deter me from Maru was hilarious, like sir I am already happily married and I had a kid, I have not installed the polyamory mod, your daughter is fine 🤣🤣 also I’m also a Maru Penny shipper. They look so cute together ❤️
Same, I'm new to Stardew too. Didn't know so many people hated so many characters. I was just vibing enjoying my farm sim game with my buddy 😂
Though we have joined the Pierre is a dingus club.
I had the same thing happen to me, but I was married to Harvey XD
Maru is one of my favorite villagers to befriend. Idk why but I get more platonic vibes from her than anything romantic. For me, the romance with her comes after marriage, a slow burn if you will. She’s so sweet and witty and just so pleasant!
As for Demetrius and Sebastian, I feel like Demetrius tries but his methods for connection and communication are just wrong for Sebastian. What works for Robin and Maru, won’t work for his angsty step-son. Demetrius is a by-the-book kind of person, and when he learns the “correct” way for something it feels like it’s hard for him to divert from that. There could also be a layer of Demetrius trying to “protect” Sebastian from ridicule and bullying for being “different” by trying to “correct the odd behavior”. It’s not right, but that’s just how I see it.
I really wish Robin would stand up in this situation, as the middle ground and other parent. To me, it’s a communication breakdown issue that’s be boiling for years and the sooner they tackle it the healthier the household will be.
Bullying by who? There isn't anyone to bully him in town, also he is a grown man.
@@anzaia2164 I meant that Demetrius probably experienced bullying in his past when he himself was growing up as a kid and teen, not that anyone is currently bullying him as an adult. That kind of stuff sticks with you and affects how you may interact with others. Especially if you want to help someone else avoid dealing with it as well.
I’m speaking as someone who grew up with a parent like this who would often try to get me to conform with what was “normal” until we had a long talk about it, and still do talk about it to this day. Change is difficult but communication is the first step.
I’m not saying Demetrius is right in what he is doing. I’m only saying that his actions may be coming from misplaced intentions rather than any kind of actual hatred or resentment. I agree he should do better, as both the parent and older adult. But, both need to communicate to let this happen, and Robin needs to be the middle ground until (or even if) Demetrius and Sebastian work through their relationship issues.
@@dannighost3614 Yeah, that is fair. I wasn't talking about Denetrius in my previous comment, but about Sebastian.
He is friends with most people in town who are his age, and he seems very confident in his self, his identity, and his quirks. Hell, the only one bullying him _is_ Demetrius. Which may come from the place of trying to protect, like you say.
But I just get the feeling he married Robin _despite_ her son, which is quite the rocky foundation to build a family on.
I also got platonic vibes from her, best friend, qpp, wife, anyway you slice it I think she’s fantastic
@@anzaia2164 Oh! Lol My bad, I completely misunderstood who you were referring to! Yeah, I don’t think anyone in town is bullying Sebastian. I get the feeling he’s maybe dealt with it from past school peers, but he doesn’t GAF what others think. Very confident in himself! (as you said)
Demetrius’s “fears” that I laid out in my first comment are definitely unfounded if that is one of his motives, but since there is a lack of communication I feel like the man is just going off his own experiences instead of actual experiences his step-son has gone through.
I also get the feeling that Demetrius did not take fully take into consideration what being a parent would be. That he married Robin for her only, and maybe assumed he would automatically gain respect as the new father-figure. (Which is a BAD mindset to have) Maybe Sebastian never wanted a new father, and Demetrius forced that role onto him. I know I would hella pissed if someone I barely know tried to parent me. Lol
I don’t think there is a black and white answer to this issue as it’s so complex and the motives so foggy it’s hard to say who’s wrong. All we can really point out is what actions are wrong (unless another update comes around to clear some stuff up)
21:38 the fruit discussion always annoyed me since Demetrius is a scientist. I understand that he was trying to make a good point about how neurotypical people communicate, but there is no botanical definition of a vegetable and he should know that. Without a scientific definition, the next logical classification for a plant that is also a food is a culinary definition. Can you tell I'm autistic too?
omg interesting! damn cant call it the deepest dive anymore cos i didnt get into the botanical definition of vegetable
as a biologist and dietitian i can confirm that we don’t use the word “vegetable” because it’s too vague. for context i am puerto rican and in spanish “vegetales” is too vague so we use words like “hortalizas.”
This this this this this
This is so true as Vic Michaelis has enlightened me, vegetables aren't real 😔✋
@@CiaraCaines-jz4ex Vehichular always spreading facts!
As a biracial woman who's autistic, this video is E V E R Y T H I N G. I love Maru as a character, shes so criminally underrated! Also I really appreciate you covering the topics of race and neurodivergency as it relates to their dailouge and how people perceive both her and her dad, you knocked it out of the park imo. Another 10/10 video!! :)
CNA (certified nursing assistant) here! Here in the states you can get a CNA license right out of high school or even last year or during high school with parental consent. I’d say about 16/17. It takes about a month. So there is a possibility she could have one. There is some fine lines when it comes to healthcare that you can work in a health care setting, say an assisted living or old folks, without even having ANY medical experience whatsoever. This means you basically do everything a CNA can do with some limitations without the license. So depending on what Harvey has her do, she may not even need any kind of certification. You can also become a phlebotomist and take a course to pass medications without a nursing license as well. So she may not be a fully qualified nurse, but could have all the certificates to do most things. One last thing she could have is her LPN, licensed practitioner nurse. This is like one step below a full fledged nurse. This course takes about 10 months or less to get the certificate for. I do believe you have to be at least 18 to have. You can do most everything a nurse can without all the schooling. It also wouldn’t surprise me if Harvey has her do more than she can just cuz he likes her and wants her around. 😂
Thank you for commenting this because this topic has been bothering me for a while 😂
I feel like I knew this on some level but was not knowledgeable enough to point it out. Thank you for sharing this!
I have so much respect for CNA’s. I used to schedule for an HH agency, and CNA’s would get more patients, less pay & respect. They were looked down upon And they literally were out there doing the work the RN’s and LPNS won’t do. It’s hard, physical work. Injuries were common. I always would drop everything to give a cna my full attention because, damn.
Thinking about it now (and not yet done with the video) i wonder if Demetrius is over protective of Maru because she's the only Black girl in Stardew Valley and if George is homophobic to Alex and the male player getting married then it can be assumed that racism exists in Stardew
That's true, in a lot of POC family relationship the parents want their children to excel somehow in something in hopes they won't suffer any racism of some kind
I don't know if it's intentional but Demetrius at first glance def fit the overprotective black dad stereotype.(I don't live in USA, idk if that stereotype actually exist but I saw that kind of character being potrayed a lot)
A video giving fair treatment to Maru, not over hating Demetrius and acknowledging Robin and Sebastian's flaws?! Sign me up!
It's definitly a reach but after the Demetrius tangents I also thought of something in regards to her 4 heart event.
As you said she's definitly not used to making mistakes. But now if we look at who does (apparently somewhat frequently) is Demetrius. And Robins reactions to that could make a "[someones] going to kill me!" a valid reaction. I don't think it's intended to interpret it this way since it's very likely you'll see Marus 4 heart event before the hardwood quest or Demetriuses 6 heart event but I feel like it could make sense. One point more for Robin being the problematic parent.
Okay if only I would have continued watching a few more minutes xD
Maru should have been _shown_ helping Robin with the Deluxe Uprgades, all house upgrades, and especially Pam’s house. It would make sense that Robin has the basic fundamentals of electrical work, but would make even more sense, and add an insane amount of character dynamic if Maru was apart of these projects
MarILDA really said "self-determination is not a malfunction", very iconic
I… wasn’t expecting to like Demetrius so much at the end of a video on Maru
“Published 6 minutes ago” oh HELL yes
The only reason I don’t marry Maru in my playthroughs is because she is me and I am her, we are the same
(I have married her before)
Legitimately realized the same thing during this video. Shane's depression and maru's gifted kid anxiety both hit too close to home. I'm sorry for sleeping on you, Maru. You're a real one
Exactly the same for me 😅 she even looks like me…aaand I work as a nurse (Also she just reads as toooo young for me)
THANK! YOU! for defending Demetrius. when i first started i found him so sweet and i chitchatted with him often. I was surprised when i realized the fandom hated him and, autistic myself, wondered if i was misunderstanding something and chameleoned into their opinions. especially so as a sebastian marry-er.
but honestly, how i see it now, i think sebastian is so emo because his instinct is to lean to his mother's side on things, for general "child of divorce with new step parent" reasons, then he sees her reactions toward demetrius and maru and likely absorbs that as correct. (but simultaneously robin inferrably refuses to be understanding towards other's points of views, is intolerant of mistakes, etc... so I'm not surprised he, as she says, doesn't open up to her either, and he feels alienated by the whole family). demetrius has flaws, but really, he or maru didn't really do anything *wrong.* tbh i bet if sebastian opened up to them and they all gave eachother a chance, they'd really mesh well. but their family dynamics and communication skills are just really fucky lol
I'm shocked (lol pun not intended) that Maru is the least popular bachelorette. She's always been my favorite.
(I mean I married Penny first but that's only because I accidentally gave Maru a hated gift and I didn't know how the game worked and I thought it meant she hated me forever 😢)
That last comment made me audibly go “aw”. 😂
Also, do you think how badly Robin treats demetrius sometimes is why hes so protective of Maru? I cant imagine he wants her to marry someone so dismissive of her interests.
this is a really interesting take. Although it does seem a little strange considering that you're actively helping her with an interest of hers? Maybe that's why he was being presumptuous, he assumed you were lying about being interested or didn't see that you wanted to help her. I wonder if he feels like Robin drags him down too. I'm going to be pondering this fr
@@muffinbandit6643 good point you are actively helping her with her interest! So maybe less interest incompatibility and more just the accomodations side of things. Demetrius has to make all the accommodations, and I'm sure if that doesn't directly hinder his work it definitely hinders it indirectly through consuming more mental and emotional energy. It can't help his confidence that his wife of 20+ years talks to him like this. I feel bad for him.
I'm so glad you pointed out the mod to give Maru natural hair. The preview looks SO good and I'm going to install it right now!!
this channel is iconic and the best thing that has happened to this cursed platform
Nah, cause I grew up near a bunch of small mountain towns and I completely agree with Demetrius being worried his daughter will settle down and negate her own dreams to become a barefoot trad wife type. Lol That's a completely valid fear and I don't understand the hate for that.
I wish the fame had explored Seb and Demetrius's relationship more, because imo I don't think he's intentionally playing favorites I think he struggles to find common ground with his step-son and doesn't quite know how to connect with him as well as he does with Maru. Where Maru is very studious and science minded, Seb likes music and tabletop fantasy games, and he is much more reserved and reclusive and Demitrius can't wrap his head around that.
But, Seb doesn't know that and he feels that his existence feels secondary and that he is an inconvenience to an otherwise nuclear family archetype.
I also think that because Robin is his only true parent, he is biased to her opinion and her temper and impatience toward her husband has muddied Seb's perception in a lot of ways.
The scene with Demetrius and the four poster bed always upsets me a little bit and t's because he is wrong but not in the way Robin thinks he's wrong. Those four posters can fulfil a purpose and be useful. Especially if a ceiling and drapes were added to the model. There is a reason everyone and their mother a four poster bed in the middle ages (it's a misconception that only rich people had one) and that reason is that if you're in there sleeping with the curtains closed it'll help preserve warmth. This I think can also be very useful (and cozy) to our farmer in winter. But you cannot tell Demetrius this and I'm sure if you could he'd be delighted
omg! that's cool to know
Haven't watched the full video yet but I SO agree with the thumbnail as one of the only Demetrius defenders on earth. Like is he the best person in the valley ever? Lord no but I will defend the one black man in stardew valley till I die
not to be #too controversial but i think that the reason Demetrius is hated more than some other characters for no reason because he is black. And it's probably not a conscious choice by many, but internal, unconscious racism is something i observe in media a LOT! so i wouldn't be surprised if him being a black man (and the only black man in game) accidentally played into it
@mikaeruu0309 THANK YOU SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT
I was so surprised to hear Demetrius is so hated… Especially when freakin CLINT exists. Like people hate him more than Clint???
Demetrius always seemed to go out of his way to be nice and friendly to the Farmer. He may say the “wrong thing” at times but he is clearly a good natured guy.
@@mikaeruu0309 oh girl you're so Fr I just don't wanna be the black person who makes everything about race y'know?
@@mikaeruu0309EXACTLY!!! Like frfr he’s kinda annoying but he’s just autistic he ain’t an incel like Clint 😂 Like the whole tomato = fruit when Robin said something about needing more fruit for a fruit salad. Demetrius just needs to learn to ask more clarifying questions.
I absolutely regularly put just "fruit" on the grocery list, so I get where Robin is coming from with being vague. The fruit in my local grocery stores are so inconsistent in what's there & what's actually ripe, that to put specific types of fruit is likely a recipe for disappointment. Despite the fact that I do agree that asking for nonspecific fruit is totally legitimate, she should be more understanding of the way Demetrius' brain works & not get angry when he just made an honest mistake.
at 46:22 you can see the exact moment a single thought re-enters your cat’s head after an extended period of no thoughts head empty staring.
I also love how Fiona didn't put any of her specific references in earlier videos but does now (increased autistic comfortably as she mentioned) it def makes us love her more
"alex: gay" sooo true. excited to watch this one while eating my lunch haha
Regarding the Fruit scene, at first I thought like bro just ask what kind of fruit she wanted before you left but honestly as a fellow likely autistic person, If we ask for clarification on a task super common for neurotypicals to just be like "dude just get some fruit it not that complicated" and then the neurodivergent person returns to the store with the fruit they thought was satisfactory and the other one says "no not this wtf is wrong wth you?" even though they never told them WHAT FRUIT TO GET
It could also just be weaponized incompetence. I do not have very high faith in men oops.
My Doylist take is that it seems like “autism written by an allistic person” because as an autistic person I am not completely unable to understand context, in fact I am more reliant on context than an allistic person. I would not associate tomato with fruit because culturally it isn’t used that way. Vegetable isn’t a scientific term, it’s culinary, which is the relevant context for someone asking me to go get fruit from a grocery store. Tomatoes wouldn’t be part of that. At least with my personal experience with my own autism, this seems like a scenario that would only be confused in the mind of someone allistic trying to come up with a scenario where communication between an allistic person and an autistic person would break down.
My Watsonian interpretation of the scene is that Demetrius is being petty and oppositional. He feels Robin does not communicate well enough in other contexts so he picked a fight over something where he had plausible deniability that it was a genuine misunderstanding, to make a point to her to be more specific. The bed scene kind of confirms this for me. That scene is even more egregious and she calls him out saying that he basically picks fights over things like that constantly, so I think she has picked up that this is what he is doing but feels he is refusing to meet her halfway, so she isn’t budging either. I think Demetrius is too demand-avoidant to engage with Robin in full honesty, and she has a lot of pent up resentment over the fact that he essentially wants her to accommodate him entirely without even making an effort beyond lip service to understand her in return. He says he wants to understand her but they’ve been together since before Maru was born and are still having basic “relationship year 1” arguments. I don’t believe we are seeing the first occurrence of these arguments. I think he says he wants to understand because he knows he’s supposed to say it, but he doesn’t want to.
They are not compatible and both are treating each other poorly, but I think that Demetrius is weaponizing his neurodivergence in a really cynical and petty way that makes it much easier for me as an autistic person to have sympathy for Robin over Demetrius who I ostensibly should identify with more. That, or he’s just written irresponsibly by someone who didn’t have a complete enough understanding of what they are depicting. Either way, Demetrius really upsets me because the choices are between two types of people both of whom I resent: either Demetrius is autistic and weaponizing it, which is a thing that happens sometimes, or ConcernedApe is trying to write autism and ended up infantilizing autistic people and creating “Sheldon Cooper but not funny.” I find either option very disheartening so I always save maxing Demetrius’s hearts for last
like I understand weaponised incompetence but I do not get how it could really be applied to that situation. bc like what labour would he be avoiding? he's still going to the store and buying some fruit whether he intentionally/subconsciously(?) gets it wrong or not
btw I'm not like tryna debate you specifically about this, I just wanted to comment about it bc it confused me when she mentioned that take in the vid too lol
Honestly, I've always viewed it as weaponized incompetence. Demetrius likes to use his assumed authority over the player, not once but twice, dragging you into a conflict with his wife (the fruit scene) and threatening you when you start befriending Maru (in which, lest we forget, will lose you points if you don't silently sit there and take it). Whether he's on the spectrum or not isn't relative to me, it's how the context paints him: someone who gets supremely annoyed when he doesn't get his way, even at the expense of his own family.
He can have his quirks and tics and still be in the wrong. If I, a fellow neurodivergent, threatened you, it's still a threat. Even if I apologize afterward because someone twisted my arm.
@@anniebale4343 tbf the NPCs often ask the player for your opinion during events. like when harvey asks for your thoughts on george's medical situation?? lol. I think that's one of the weirder instances but idk they do it all the time so I don't think it's fair to judge an individual NPC for that when that's kinda just how the events are written sometimes
@@Mike-di1og As a fellow autistic person, I'm so happy to see someone else elaborate on the Doylist vs Watsonian explanations and having them largely align with how I experienced both scenes.
"Am I the asshole for bringing my wife a fruit when she asked me to?" Demetrius, probably
Lmao this actually made me laugh
A thing I do see in fandom spaces is that "wrongs" against the fan favourite are taken very harshly and the favourite "can do no wrong" and it just leads to them being sort of "babied" a lot of the time, so that probably explains some of the dislike of Demetrius bc he sort of "wrongs" both Robin and Sebastian
As a Maru stan this video was incredibly.. cathartic?? Is that the word I'm thinking of?? Anyway I loved it, and you also gave me some new food for thought when it came to Demetrius -- for me he was teetering on the edge of being likeable, and you framed everything about him so well I'll definitely have to think about it more. Thank you so much for making these, they are an absolute joy to watch!!
(The Balamory jumpscare unlocked childhood memories I didn't even realise I still had so thank you for that too)
Also, I'm not sure if this is 1.6 content but there's a line where Maru talks about her and Penny starting a book club together, which is super cute! And something that's probably more suited to the Sebastian video, if I remember correctly if you have kids with him he says that he and Maru used to fight a lot as children and he doesn't want your children to be like that. I kind of always wish there was a way we could get them to reconnect with each other or at least be on speaking terms, because Maru says she wants Sebastian to be a proper brother to her and it hurts me that we can't help her with that.
I'm glad someone else focusing on Demetrius in a positive light. I have always felt like people are quick to write him off because they want to marry Robin but I know if I met both of them in person and came across one of their fights (Re: Robin yelling at Demetrius) then I wouldn't be able to look at her the same way. I believe those two could use some couples Therapy since it seems they (Re: Robin) struggle with good communication.
Also; Maru is one of my favorite Bachelorettes because I am a person going to College to be in STEM and I feel a connection of shared intrests. I wanted to say this because I think she deserves more love.
When you said she was the least popular marriage candidate I was so surprised. She's always been tied with Leah for my favorite. I heard someone call her boring and I'm like how?? My girl literally builds AI in her basement as a hobby!
Also I love that you reference videos from creators I already love ❤
Yess!! My wife is being covered!! 🎉 Fr tho, you are right, maru is criminally underrated, glad you did her justice
I‘m so excited for when you get to Shane, he is my favourite character and I know there is A LOT to say (also to criticise how his progression is handled after marriage)
Fully agree!
Look at me in the eyes and explain to me WHAT progression, is this progression with us in the room right now? 👮
the progression in his heart events, he attempts to get clean and does!(the game doesnt change his actions though.. so he still goes to bar and acts drunk, but in story he is not)
@@zomboy__ also, sobriety is not a linear journey! It really sucked to see people getting mad at the fact that ge starts going to the bar again (even though he wasnt even drinking) even if he was why does that anger you so much? Its his journey not yours, idk it just frustrates me to see people so angry at Shane because ive seen the same anger and frustration directed towards me when i was trying to get sober/regulate my intake of substances. I dont understand any of it, and i doubt i ever will
26:58 Can you pick up some fruit when you're at the store is pretty common terminology. Presumably you would know what type of fruit is eaten at your house, so it's not in need of clarification unless you want something specific. At that point it becomes a series of questions:
Version A: Acquire an amount of fruit.
Version B: Acquired fruit, but only this fruit, if that fruit is too expensive get this fruit, if they're out try to find this fruit, if that is out of season then go with this instead.
It's like asking for candy when someone asks if you want something from the gas station. You CAN be specific, but that's not a requirement.
Really? If I asked for generic "candy" it's far too likely that I'll get something I hate. The taste and texture of candy, just like fruit, are too varied. Or maybe I'm in the mood for something more sour than sweet today. Not being specific feels like testing someone to me.
@@graceofasloth if you're picky or had a craving then you would ask for a specific thing though, right? Robins complaint was that he got a berry she has no desire to eat.
Robin isn't being picky here, because Tomato isn't a fruit. She assumes Dimitri thought it was one (it's not), and is now trying to explain. She's 'just' ableist.
Everyone has their character flaws
See yeah, like there's a reason Robin asks for fruit. Are they out of fruit? Demetrius should know what fruit is eaten at the house. That's why it feels like incompetence
@@roibenralso who would think of tomatoes when they hear fruit? Her point is they’re married for at least 18 years so she should have known to ask more specific but why isn’t he required to know what his family eats as fruit?! And about the bed, he criticized her instantly and gave unsolicited advice when she was clearly proudly showing them her work. I feel like he’s being excused here
“When i was fourteen I thought i was going to marry 35 year old Tom hiddleston” freakin same. It’s only 17 years 🫣
Edit:
Okay so I just got up to the Demetrius tangent, and i just have to say, as a diagnosed autistic person… he’s very much autistic, im not sure how intentional it was, but yeah. That being said, MOST autistic people by the age he’d have to be to have an adult daughter, have kinda learnt… not to think more broadly, but to understand that things aren’t black and white.
The tomato thing actually gets my autism going because they’re both right!!! Scientifically, it is a fruit because scientifically there isnt a classification of vegetables. It’s the fruit of the plant, as is a pumpkin, avocados, peppers, squash, eggplant/aubergine etc. basically the fleshy container of the seeds. As opposed to the root vegetables, taro, carrot, potatoes, etc. which are, as the name suggests, the root of the plant. Or ‘greens’, lettuce, amaranth, broccoli, kale, Brussels, etc.
it actually bothers me immensely that a scientist doesn’t understand that fruit as a scientific classification doesn’t translate to what is socially classified as a fruit autism or not because he would know that there are no vegetables in science. There’s vegetation.
Yeah… i know you said you don’t care about this but. I very much care and yes my entire family has heard this rant before… and food science isnt even my special interest…
im learning so much about tomatoes in these comments, now i do care about it
im autistic and have a culinary degree, my boyfriend is a harvard scientist that does a lotta taxonomy. this is a topic i am very familiar with lmao.
You know, I always figured that since Demetrius was never told that the fruit was a for a fruit salad, he assumed it was for a project regarding the farmer and their crops, like a more efficient preserves jar, and that he was using the logic that the tomatoes in the store were the freshest and he wanted to make sure Robin had the freshest crops to try and turn into preserves or ferment. By getting the freshest fruit crop from the store, Demetrius has helping ensure the conditions would be most similar to the ones on the farmers farm.
I thought the argument came in at Robin not necessarily specifying the fruit was for a fruit salad, and that she got upset that he didn't understand a social rule she had learned, and that he didn't understand why she didn't specify the specific purpose of the fruit knowing that it's really hard to assume what others want when you're autistic. Hence him trying to explain he thought tomatoes were a fruit that she was asking for while also knowing tomatoes dont belong in a fruit salad.
Also the usage of "normal" to describe an entity makes a bit more sense when you consider Robin as a carpenter. As far as I know, that tends to be a math centered job. In mathematics, normal is more similar to an average in a set of data. So considering that the most times she has talked to Demetrius about fruit, it most likely would be strawberries as the common since both he and their daughter love the fruit, hence causing a confusion at what is considering a normal thing to request when requesting a 'fruit'
It kills me that there's no "you're both right" option in the tomato scene. Truly.
As a Sebastian girl - THANK YOU for this fabulous deep dive! Normally I only marry Sebastian, but way back I did a Full Romance playthrough and I was blown away by how touching and heartfelt Maru's arc was. Genuinely if I wasn't a sucker for her brother, I would 100% romance Maru (and there is a little part of me that feels guilty for going to Sebastian every time because I know he wasn't the best brother to Maru, tensions and insecurities and all). I do think a lot of people sleep on Maru and it's honestly kind of sad, so thank you so much for bringing her the love and respect and attention she deserves!
ps. your Sebastian criticisms are 100% correct. He's a bit immature and has a major chip on his shoulder.... but like, I can fix hiimmmmmmmm lmao
My hatred for Demetrius was because I had a step father just like him; preferred his own kid to me and treated us differently because of it, and he was melicious whenever my mother asked him for something. He absolutely would pull the whole, got tomatoes cuz she asked for fruit bs because he was (I say was because he did get better) a massive prick looking to start a fight. The term used now is weaponized incompetence...after this video I guess I was making unfair assumptions based on my own personal experiences 😅
this is something that I don't see a lot of people talk about regarding Demetrius, but I do think one of the reasons some people might hate him more than they should is because of his character art. I think it's a weird choice for him to be the only character to have such a strong shadow cast on his face, and that combined with the lack of highlights in his eyes gives him this kinda ominous feeling. although I'm not here to argue about the racism surrounding him and Maru, because that's definitely there. it does remind me a bit of how people hated on random animal crossing characters just because they didn't like their design and reinterpreted their actions as annoying even though they liked 'cute' characters with the same personality type. anyways we need to look at Demetrius in a new light (literally hehe) for people to see him for who he is
Prepare for some over analysis here, but the way I read Demetrius' over-protectiveness is that he doesn't want his daughter to repeat his unspoken mistake. I think he had big plans for his life and intended to leave the Valley and change the world with his scientific discoveries, but then he got Robin pregnant. He obviously loves Maru, and his goals changed, but he doesn't want her to miss out on her dreams. The problem is he projects his dreams onto her. He doesnt want his little girl to get pregnant and live an "ordinary" life, he wants her to leave the Valley and fulfill HIS dreams. I think he and Robin have a strained relationship that he stays invested in because he wants what is best for Maru. He's scared that if she falls in love with a local, she too will be in an unhappy unfulfilling relationship. The man doth project too much.
When I first saw the Demetrius tomato scene it did read to me as weaponized incompetence. Like, yeah Robin has a bad temper maybe because she has been putting up with his weaponized incompetence for a long time. It might be because I saw the hardwood bed scene before I saw the tomato scene. And also because I grew up with overprotective parents and Maru's 2 heart scene left a very bitter taste in my mouth so I was against Demetrius from the start.
Also, if you do start a fuckrobin sub I think we all know how that would turn out 😏
That is a very valid read of Demetrius' character, and it is very interesting to see how someone's personal experiences and background can color their interpretation of a situation. I had never seen it that way, and tbh my opinion of him was raised just by learning that he does apologize after Maru's 2 heart scene.
As for me, I always saw him as someone who is very intelligent and proud of it, and perhaps as a result sees others as 'intellectually below', be it consciously or subconsciously. I suppose that, as I said before, someone's past experiences and background do a lot to affect how they read into certain aspects of a conversation. I felt like in Maru's scene he didn't so much see the player as a possible distraction, but as inferior, as a brick that would only drag his daughter down if she were to associate with them.
She is a bright, intelligent young woman, and you're just a dumb farmer, what future could you possibly offer to her?
Besides that, I've had too many experiences with people who like to be overly pedantic in an effort to assert their intellectual superiority over your own, so when Demetrius brought Robin tomatoes it felt to me like he was chastising her in a very passive-aggressive way for not being specific. As we can see in the 'sleeping receptacle' scene, Demetrius tends to use very specific terminology, whether it refers to the bed in general or the bedframe, as you reasoned, so I believe this to be coherent with the way he normally behaves.
You are right to say that Robin did not communicate what she wanted properly and, if we read Demetrius' actions in good faith like you do in the video, her reaction was not only disproportionate but also inappropiate. However, I also agree that it feels like a debate that should've come up before, and therefore it seemed to me like a rehash of a prior discussion they'd had before but never settled. Once you enter the scene, Demetrius says, "You will be able to put this argument to rest", which could mean that one prticular instance, yes, except that both of their sprites were relaxed and smiling during the whole thing, which made it seem more like a conversation to me. Implying that it needs to be "put to rest" suggests that it has lasted for longer than the brief exchange we see, and calling it an argument might mean that it has been more heated in the past.
When Robin said 'normal people', I didn't read that as 'neurotypical people', but as 'people without five phd', and Robin immediately follows that by saying "It doesn't matter what the scientific classification is", which led me to believe that it was a discussion about academic denomination Vs popular culture. To me, what she meant by that comment was 'you cannot expect laymen to use precise scientific terminology in everyday conversation. Tomatoes might be technically a fruit, but that doesn't mean that it is common knowledge, or that people treat it as such when cooking. Within the context of my request, it was unreasonable of you to assume that I would want tomatoes when asking for fruit.'
Idk, it feels a bit like he would call salt 'sodium chloride'. Yes, that is the correct scientific term, but if you were to ask a bunch of people on the street what sodium chloride is, I doubt more than half would be able to tell you that it's salt. I do admit to a level of projection on my part, but I've been 'punished' before in this sort of petty way for not using 'accurate terminology', and cannot help but see the similarities between both situations. It is extremely demeaning and infantilizing, like the other person is taking away your 'adult privileges' for not using 'big words'.
It is very frustrating to be treated like a child who should know better just because you don't express yourself as if you are in an academic setting even though you are in a social one.
As I said, I can see where your interpretation comes from, and it makes perfect sense given what you have shared with us. There certainly isn't enough evidence to support or discredit either your analysis or mine (at least not that I'm aware of) since they're both conjectures based off of our personal experiences. However, as someone who has had to deal with pedantic people bent on being condescending and trying to undermine your intelligence by being obtuse about terminology, I couldn't help but feel like Demetrius was looking down on Robin and the player for being 'country bumpkins'.
To be clear, I don't particularly hate Demetrius. I used to like his character very much prior to these scenes, but the way his behaviour came off to me made me associate him with a lot of negative stuff and ruined him for me :/
Sorry for the long rant. I'm really enjoying the video as a whole (I just had to pause for a moment and write this down before I forgot, or else my adhd brain would've made it a jumbled mess). Personally, I'm looking forward to Penny's video and, of course, as an avid Shane enjoyer I can't wait to watch the Grand Finale
EDIT: just tweaked some phrasing to get my point accross better and corrected a couple of grammar errors that were bugging me
Put better than I could. I also feel like because this game is presented in text we're also missing a key dynamic between Robin and Demetrius: the Tone with which they speak to each other as well as more nuanced body language. I love that so many of us are this invested in Stardew Valley to even get this deep considering the outwardly silly material haha.
I agree tone can be hard to read. I suggest looking at the portraits because they show the emotion, so give context for the tone. I personally don't like Robin or Demetrius. Robin looks so angry and Demetrius does look sincere when he apologizes. Both are flawed characters. Neither is evil.
@@rowanwax The sprites are very useful to distinguish tonal nuance, yes, but are also subject to interpretation.
For example, going back to the Tomato IncidentTM, if you look at both of their sprites, Robin has her neutral half-smile during the entire conversation. There is nothing in her sprite to indicate that she is angry or annoyed other than the little bubble that pops up briefly, she looks perfectly calm... and so does Demetrius, unless you disagree with him.
Regardless of reasoning or intent, even if it was an 'honest' mistake, shouldn't he at least appear a bit contrite?
In the event that the player says it is a fruit, his immediate response is to brighten and say "See? Player agrees with me. I just wanted you to understand my point of view." At no moment during their prior conversation has Robin stated that a tomato isn't a fruit, that wasn't the point at all. Even if we operate under the assumption that he is having a bit of trouble understanding why Robin is upset at him for bringing tomatoes, what he says tells me that he didn't want to understand her, he wanted her to understand him. He wanted to be right.
Based off of that interpretation we would get the following 'translation':
"See? Player agrees with me. I just wanted you to understand my point of view." -> "See? They agree with me, therefore I am right and you're wrong. Now you understand that."
"It's hard for me to know exactly what assumptions I should make when you tell me something. But I'll try to get better at it." -> "I don't speak 'country bumpkin, so you should just speak properly and use the correct terminology like I do. But I will try to lower myself to your level."
Even paying attention to the sprites, both interpretations can coexist because depending on your personal experiences you might still come to a completely different, yet valid, conclusion. Mine was that this is a case of malicious compliance because he wants to 'teach her a lesson' in a very passive-aggressive way.
Alternatively, and also based off of their sprites in that scene, both of them could be simply having a completely normal conversation and we're making a mountain out of a grain of sand...
I'm going to be perfecly honest. He reminded me of someone I know, and now I cannot unsee it 😭
I also have this same interpretation of him, considering that he also might be autistic!
Now these are some spicy hot Robin takes. I definitely read Demetrius as autistic as well, but I have a hard time getting over that two heart event. The first time I saw it and he said "Know what I mean?" I was just like, "No I don't??? I am barely friends with Maru at this point what are you implying sir??" I have a mod installed that changes it to him telling an embarrassing story about Maru instead.
can you give the name of this mod?
@@spacedisaster9923 DeCreepy'd Demetrius
Stopping mid-watch to say that I feel bad for not backing Demetrius up in his dilemmas that are very familiar to me, but in my defence one of the first things he tells you is that his wife has a powerful temper and you should avoid making her angry...I tend to be more of a "small sacrifices in the moment to avoid worse consequences later" type of person so I took his warning seriously, acted accordingly, and let him down :(
15:56 I saw someone say they interpreted Maru's hair as braids and they appeal a lot more to me when I picture them like that.
I'm loving all the character inspired outfits
NGL, I am in my 30s, and Maru feels too young I just can't! She can be my niece instead. Imagine getting like... more platonic unlocks with the villagers after year five or something? Idk, just fun to think about. I also do NOT hate Mister Demetrius. I love that he sets up a sick ass science cave on my farm. My biggest gripe is that we tend to only see that "ball n chain" mentality at the festivals with Robin (not just enjoying dancing, being annoyed with winter star gifts), and the stereotypical "bully dad" thing that honestly feels outta nowhere? I am excited to watch the rest of this after work. I think these two just needed more thought put into the writing, rather than them inherently being "bad" or "boring".
OKAY THE FRUIT THING! That scene always annoyed me. I definitely hadn't considered that Robin was just being kinda whack, but that tracks for her! She opens up the game by dissing your new home to your face. So yeah, they have hella communication issues, and it isn't fair that Robin doesn't seem to be trying to work on it.
Even though I would steal Robin away from Demetrius in a heartbeat, I do find their dynamic interesting. I agree that Demetrius is very autistic coded, and he seems to fumble through a lot of interactions without intending to. Whereas Robin is probably the most sociable and easy to get along with as compared to basically every other character in the game.
That's an interesting point. It is often the worst partners that put on the most acceptable social show for people not in their circle.
@@MarrisaStrong That was a big leap to take.
I’m so surprised Maru is the least favorite. For me it’s Penny. Not because I don’t like her but because she’s so forgettable. Ask me to list all the marriage candidates and I’ll forget her every time and I’ll know I forgot someone because there’s supposed to be equal numbers of men and women but more often than not I just can’t remember her.
this is so real. maru will always be my platonic bestie but penny is so, so forgettable. I have to actively go out of my way if I want to befriend her because she leaves no impression whatsoever
The feverish love for Robin and unflinching hatred for Demetrius this fandom has is off putting.
As someone who is married to Maru in my current save this video made me very happy! I agree that Maru is very underrated. As someone who is autistic I thought your interpretation of Demetrius being autistic was very interesting (and is now my accepted headcannon, as well as Maru too). This video is so well done (as are the rest of them!).
I don't always like saying 'as a black person' because it's been overused but I do want to put my voice out there because we're not a monolith and reading different perspectives might be fun.... buuut as someone who is a black queer woman who is also autistic, I understand where people are coming from with Demetrius (but I don't think he's the worst tho). It's because his attitude towards the farmer is not on accident, it's based on stereotypes that happens on the media where the black dad is overprotective for his daughter (I wonder why he doesn't act like that when you're friends with his stepson). While it does happen to other races and sexes, it's a common trope.
It threw me for a loop because I didn't befriend Maru on purpose, I was just processing the game as normal and I gift people every now and then on their birthdays and getting two hearts isn't that hard to achieve. Because I'm autistic, I didn't understand what he's trying to say because it came out of nowhere, but then it hit me because with autism it takes a bit to process things. It's basic media literacy and even if it's not written directly, the implication and intent is still there. It might not be a threat to you, but it is to many other players and I think both as just a valid, even if it's not directly written word for word.
Also with the tomato thing - while technically they are both correct since it can be culinary a vegetable and scientifically a fruit, it's still important to be mindful that not everyone is aware and knows all the facts like a scientist. Even scientists should be aware that the general public will treat tomatoes differently than strawberries. We have to be understanding of each other.
Even if he's not aware, I don't like it that he didn't try to listen and understand his wive's (the general public's) perspective. In what other circumstances would she need fruit for, she is the one who always cooks meals if I'm correct. He could have just said "oh shucks, I learned that it's technically a fruit, I didn't mean to bring you the wrong food, I have learned from this experience and not bring tomatoes from now on when you ask for fruit". This is how I would do as an autistic person in my marriage (I'm married for 6 years, and 14 years together), this is how you learn and grow.
Why do you as a player even get punished when you simply not agreeing with him? He says "I'll try to be better at it", but you still have -30 friendship points. He's also saying "Really? I figured a farmer would know the correct answer..." is a very arrogant thing to say. It's also the reason why I don't have frustration with Robin even if she's not technically correct, it's because no matter what you choose, our friendship will be unaffected. He's saying he wishes for her to understand his side, but as you said, it's a two way street. Instead of seeing it as a misunderstanding, he's blaming it all on her and then he's saying that he will try to be better at it.
It's also interesting how you say that she was being rude because he did a favor for her and she has no patience for him, when marriage is about teamwork and that means that doing stuff for each other is something to be expected. They could decline if they don't want to do it. She's frustrated because maybe her plans are ruined because she relied on him to help her, rightfully so. I don't think it's ungrateful, it's being open in a relationship and sharing that you don't appreciate something.
Even in your own example where you talk about spaghetti and pasta with your husband - even if you don't agree with his wording, you do understand what he's trying to say. You're not upset at him for being wrong and being amendment on being right, because you guys are married and you try to understand each other because that should be more of a priority than being right, especially if it's about tomatoes lol, he should choose his battles.
Maybe he has given her different fruit when she asked for it in the past, but tomato never came around? That doesn't seem off, even if they're that long together. How often does anyone ask for fruit? Demetrius is a very busy person who even needs a lot of help from Maru and the farmer to help with his work, so it might not even be very often that she asks him favors like this.
Saying 'normal' might be wrong wording of her, but Demetrius isn't acting patient with her either, he's just hot headed as her, if not more (because he only focuses of being right and because of the 2 heart event with Maru - which you will also lose 100 (!) friendship points when you call him out). I don't think she was being vague or unclear at all. If he thinks she's being unclear, he could ask for clarification what fruit she means. Personally if someone asks for fruit, I will bring them fruit that is considered fruit in the culinary context. If someone wants fruit for research, maybe then I might bring them a tomato, but if I want to be sure, I will bring other fruit because I happen to be already aware that this conversation is controversial.
Personally I prefer people being clearer in their wording for me to understand them because social rules are very challenging for me as an autistic person, but I'm also aware that people's levels of literacy isn't university level. Knowing that a tomato isn't a vegetable may be something easy to understand even if you're not from a higher education, but it's still a privilege to have an education and being able to remember a lot of information and that is something that people might forget. Personally I make a lot of grammar mistakes and my vocabulary is very limited especially if I'm not writing it down because of my processing issues and people who have a higher education than mine always take their time to make me feel small for not being able to articulate myself as well as they do. They will ignore the initial conversation, even if they technically do understand what I'm trying to say and that feeling sucks. I was in special education because I wasn't able to speak any language and I came from a background where my immigrant parents couldn't speak the language of the country we're living in very well and I also have an autistic sister who isn't able to speak at all - yet we are all still able to communicate in our own way. She's very clear with what she's trying to say without uttering a word. English is my third language but most people will understand what I'm trying to say even when I make mistakes.
It's also interesting that I'm able to understand his perspective of people not always being able to understand me because I have a higher education level than my family, but I'm also humbled because I'm very aware of my limitations.
But just like the other stardew valley characters, he's flawed and even if he means well, I don't like how he treats people. I won't put him in the expectation that one of the only two black people have to be the perfect representation for me. In fact, the one I relate to the most in the game is Leah, but perhaps I might have related to Maru a little bit more if her dad was more likeable for me. I wish there were more moments with him that are a little more pleasant.
Oh my god thank you for pointing out the whole comic collection thing! I wish people would stop glossing over that. Robin is given way too many passes
Maru was my wife in my very first SDV save, so she'll always have a special place in my heart ❤
I feel like a lot of the Demetrius hate is because people love Seb so much. But I remember having awkward relationships with my dads girlfriends as a teen and I look back now as an adult and I know they were doing their best. I just think people don’t necessarily dislike Demetrius on his own faults, but rather through the Lens of Seb love.
I’ve been binging your channel for the past week and have been DYING for your next video so I could make a comment on the universal hated holly theory:
I saw someone on Reddit make the connection that the Holly flower actually has a history in being associated with war and aggression- “While its appearance exudes Christmas tradition, this plant is often a symbol of aggression and combativeness”
SO since we known there was at least recently a war- if it isn’t still going on somewhere else in the world (just because Kent is home doesn’t mean war is over Soldiers get discharged all the time for various reasons)- the holly flower might be nearly universally hated because when you give it to NPCs you remind them of the conflict going on beyond the peaceful valley of Pelican Town.
Anyways I absolutely love these deep dives please never stop being amazing!!! ❤❤❤ Love from Alaska!!
I gotta say you've totally changed my mind about Demetrius. I was so over him after his presumptuousness in Maru's 2-heart event, but you made some really solid points not only about him being neurodivergent but also Robin not communicating well with him...just wow, you're spot on. Bravo, he's alright in my book now. Also love the hair mods you listed for Maru, she looks so much better and more authentic. Love these really insightful deep dives on characters.
Also in addition to the really insightful content, just wanted to add that your personality/delivery is delightful haha. Please make more vids!
Okay I just looked it up because I was curious about the Tomato scene and Spaghetti is a loved gift for Robin.
TOMATOES ARE IN THE CRAFTING RECIPE FOR SPAGHETTI!!
See I was wondering if Robin even liked tomatoes and she does have a loved gift relating to tomatoes so he’s actually kinda thoughtful in this scene just missed the mark on what Robin wanted even though she didn’t clarify which fruit she wanted. Sorry for the tangent I just thought it was a nice detail.
omg that makes too much sense, You made me feel even worse for Demetrius in this situation nooo ;u;
i woke up at an ungodly hour bc of my anxiety but saw that this was uploaded around the same time. ur like jesus for girls or something. love u
jesus for girls hahaha that made me laugh so much
Can't believe I caught one so soon. I love these videos so much I wish there was 100 more bachelor's to cover.
me toooooooo maybe i can start making them up
@@fionasangsteror maybe modded ones if you ever play those
@@fionasangstermaybe you could do the non datable characters?
i really agree with your take on demetrius!! the misunderstandings really just come of as neurodivergent to me, and i resonate with his confusion in situations where he feels he’s done the correct thing or spoken his mind.
There is no way in hell he has been married to Robin for 20 years and doesn't know that she's not asking for tomatoes when sending him to get fruit
Like, yes, that is a neurodivergent communication issue. Or at least it would be, in the first few years of a relationship
@@anzaia2164 okay yes i totally agree with that ahaha, given how long they’ve been together, it’s unlikely they’d be having issues like that, though maybe that’s meant to show how poor they’re communication really is?
honestly I wish there we're scenes with Sebastian and maru's relationship(mostly them getting along)
also maru is my first love and gay awakening🫶
Everything you said about Demetrius is what I’ve been trying to say!! He’s not a bad guy in the slightest and I hate how he’s so villainized :( You made so many good points about Robin too that I hadn’t thought about before!! Overall, amazing video as always
i was dreading waking up early for a doctor’s appointment but i got the notif for this the same time my alarm went off LOL now i have something interesting to watch while i get ready ❤ i love maru sm i’m so excited
Babe WAKE UP! New deep dive just dropped 🫨
even though I know it is not logically possible, I NEED for these videos to never stop coming
The way I clicked on this video as fast as I physically could when I recognised it was you! Yaaaay new video! ❤
I like that you said that autistic people are not a monolith because I have a very different perspective on the Demetrius scenes (diagnosed at 8 years old)
The tomato is a fruit scene makes no sense to me even as a literal thinking autistic because tomato is like 23rd down on the list of what I think of when I think of fruit-after such winners as acai and yuzu. I can’t imagine being asked for fruit and getting a tomato, and it definitely comes across as male weaponized incompetence to me. My autistic dad would never!
As for the bed scene, I think of it as how would I feel if I worked really hard at something related to my special interest and someone I cared about just brushed it off? Like if I finally finished writing a book that took years to work on, and someone told me that using ChatGBT was a more efficient way to write, I would be pissed! Granted, the way Robin reacted was also uncalled for. They clearly need couple’s therapy.
Anyway, everyone is entitled to their opinions on the characters in this game, but I wanted to give my perspective since those scenes really bother me in that I feel they perpetuate some negative stereotypes about autism. At the same time, we also need more autistic POC representation, so there is nuance to this. The only correct answer to this is to download a polyamory mod and marry both Sebastian and Maru to get them away from their parents’ constant bickering lol
I always get a little defensive in the subreddit when people say that no one says to just get fruit, because that's what I do. If I need fruit for something specific (like a fruit salad) I'll say "Get grapes, strawberries, blueberries, etc." But a lot of the time I just want fruit around the house for snacking and I don't have something specific in mind. I don't say "Get grapes" because maybe they're out of grapes, or the grapes look bad, or they're ridiculously expensive this week for some reason. And I trust that my husband knows what kind of fruits I like and can pick out something that I like. So that's my soapbox on that.
And I agree with you that this would have come up a lot earlier in their marriage.
While I don’t dislike Demetrius, I do appreciate that his dynamic with Sebastian is realistic.
Maru!! Maru’s video!! i’ve been waiting for this one
Maru is my absolute darling and that’s nonnegotiable. She’s a sweetie pie, a cutie patootie, a woman in stem, a space girl, my bestie, my QPP, my wofe - I cannot underestimate my adoration of her. If she has a thousand lovers, I am one of them - If she has only one, it is me.
She’s massively underrated in my opinion, not that I think everyone should like her or else, but she’s so amazing and I feel like I’m the only one hardcore about it. Maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places for Maru content. But I think about her so much I started writing this comment in advance. My greatest shame is that I wasn’t here the day this was posted.
Her love language is probably acts of service, given how her loved gifts are ones that help with her projects and pursuit of science and robotics.
I adore that she’s got a bit of a clumsy streak to her, accidentally dropping vials and accidentally shocking you - it shows that while she’s good at the things she does, she isn’t perfect. Even though she is perfect to me. She’s a bit of a jack of all trades, which makes it feel like she has multiple hobbies and interests in multiple fields. To me it makes me feel like each heart event I’m seeing another facet of her life, slowly but surely, getting closer to her.
She has dialogue about feeling like she doesn’t have a good relationship with her brother, one that she laments because she WANTS to be close with him but he doesn’t really want the same and tells the player how he doesn’t think she’s all that great and I relate to that SO BAD it’s downright embarrassing. (No shade to Seb lovers, I can see interpretations where this could be interpreted differently, but my experiences irl color my view of this line)
And her telescope heart scenes! Oh her telescope heart sceneeeesss!!! They are so cute! Especially her 14 heart scene. She could turn our whole home together into a laboratory and I would happily do all the renovations. I could go on and on. She’s my favorite bachelorette.
Sorry this is absolutely chaos I love this woman so much I wnat to hold her hand so bad
Also, I always saw Marus hair as small twisting braids do to the texture at the very ends of her hair, but I can understand people wanting more variety or obviously afro-textured hair (and because the first time I saw Elliott I thought he was a white person with dreads, which probably was not intentional, her braids might not have been intentional either) absolutely love the modding community they absolutely pop off with Maru in particular so I’m not complaining
YES I'M SO EXCITED!! Maru is a sweetie but doesn't get talked about a lot so I've been really looking forward to her deep dive!!
So, my husband is autistic, and he relates a lot to Demetrius. I've never hated the character, but I have some issues with his behavior. I agree with you on "Robin should know him better after 18 years," but I think the same goes for Demetrius. They both have to try, and just saying "I see your point" doesn't cut it for me. If my partner would say that the bedframe I've spent many hours of work on is "inefficient," it would be hurtful for me, even though I know their brain works differently. He knows me well enough to recognize when I'm looking for his support and not this kind of "advice" (or at least he would ask if I want to hear advice from him). Demetrius doesn't deserve the hate he gets, for sure, but I can very easily understand why Robin is so upset with him. They both have problems understanding the other side, not just Robin.
As someone in the 25+ range, you are my new favorite RUclipsr. So excited to garden and coffee with you this morning.
I first want to say I think you did a fantastic job with this. Maru is a difficult one, for me at least, because it is impossible to look at her story outside the context of her race.
No hate to CA, but I think having Maru be black has resulted in unintentional interpretations of her story. CA probably designed her through one lense without realizing that player like myself who are black will see her story in a totally different light.
Basically all of Maru's flaws hit harder when you take into consideration black culture and how black women have to navigate the world they live in.
Which is why I am so SO glad you kept reminding us that Maru, while technically an adult, is a young. So often black women are treated as older than they really are and I appreciate that you nipped that issue in the bud (be it intentional or not). You let Maru be the 18 - 22 year she is supposed to be and kept reminding us to do the same.
There is more I could say. So much more. But that would probably require a video response and I don't wanna get too serious over my silly little farming sim.
i love demetrius because i think i did everything people say he did wrong (yep, autistic too). except by the part of sebastian snowman
Thank you again Fiona! I never understood why people hated Maru. I always liked her/felt Maru was fine and never understood why people wrote her in fanfiction and such as mean/secretly trying to get at Sebastian. This video is so refreshing.
I understood not liking Demetrious for being overbearing parent and his treatment towards Sebastian, but not enough to like say he's the worst. Maybe it's cause I am a fellow girlypop in STEM., but I meet people like Demetrious every day through work. I think your analysis was good and even I have a better view of the man.
But also, the one thing I LIKE about Stardew Valley is the characters feel human. They have flaws. They make mistakes. They have annoying habits. Literally none of the characters are perfect. That's why I like this game. I think people forgot not all characters have to be perfect all the time.
Also MORTAGE and not MARRIAGE gave me a little giggle
i looooove martha. she’s my fave companion. 🙌🏽
i’m still working my way through this video, but this series is one of my favorites (: thanks for uploading so frequently i know it must be a lot of work!!
As a mixed girl with a dad who shows signs of autism and treats me like how Demetrius treats Maru, I love Demetrius!!! He’s so over hated. There are lots of cultural motivations behind his character that I think his biggest haters always miss. For example, in my experience, black parents who grew up seeing how uncertain the futures of themselves and their families tend to be protective over their kids in a way that isn’t as necessarily for white families. Additionally, many black parent in a mixed household have to take up the role of being “protector.” They have to be the one who teaches their child to spot dangers white parents might not see. Again, this easily creates a protective dynamic, but it’s all coming from a loving place.💕
I think your character inspired outfits are awesome! Thank you for these lovely videos Fiona.
I’m Team Sebastian all the way but I don’t dislike any of the romance-able NPCs and I’m happy to see a more detailed analysis of Maru, and Demetrius as well! Although this makes me want to marry Maru less. She’s kind of like Abby in my eyes; I feel like Demetrius is partially right in his worries that the player will sort of cut off Maru’s future. At least with Maru, it feels like she could keep inventing things on the farm where Abby seems like she’d get bored and want to travel eventually. Maru, if only you could have seen the iridium meteorite before I smashed it with the pickaxe…
I really appreciate Demetrius in the 10 heart scene. He had as much character development as Maru in her storyline.
Demetrius & Maru have a lot in common so they’ll spend more time together. I don’t think Demetrius is mean to Sebastian, I think he just doesn’t understand how to interact with him, so he doesn’t go out of his way to. Demetrius’s lines about Maru are all more supportive/protective of her, Robin sounds like she’s just worried Sebastian is going to die alone in her basement lol… your son needs antidepressants and you & your husband need marriage counseling, Robin!
yesssss I watched the entire series yesterday and had settled to wait for the next one. Very excited to find the next one first thing today!!
omg new video im so happy 🥺🥺🥺
you're one of my favorite channels on youtube. love you!!❤❤
Yay! I was so happy to see this upload haha, I've been loving this series 😊
I have a pretty big dislike of Demetrius because he is very like my dad. I don't care about the tomato scene, but the over protectiveness of Maru reminds me so mucj of my father (which, in fairness, is projection, he doesn't show the other traits my father shows), but also I dislike his attitude towards Sebastian. He ignores him a lot. Still, he isn't worth the hatred he recieves routinely, Pierre and Lewis are much much worse than he is. He's just an imperfect father
I will say i probably havent been understanding of the fruit scene because in my family we will just add fruit to a grocery list as a sweet but healthy thing to snack on, not any particular fruit just something sweet which is how i see her side. On top of that it just seems like intentionally picking the least fruity fruit like who's first idea of a fruit is tomato, it seems like trying to punish her for not knowing what fruit she wants
That being said ive never hated Demetrius i usually befriend him and think hes fine, just also usually side with robin