Gay Adoption Story Part One "Conversations"
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- Over the time we have been making our videos we have recieved many questions about how and why we adopted. To date, we have not directly answered these. This was because we really wanted to tell the story as a whole..not in pieces, and because we want to do the topic justice. This will still have to be a multi part story...but at least it will have the benefit of context.
This part of the story addresses the conversations we had with each other about having kids, what we were willing to take on, and how to go about doing it.
Part 2: Getting Qualified?
• Gay Adoption Story Par...
Part 3: Meeting Our Kids:
• Gay Adoption Story Par...
Part 4: Your Questions:
• Gay Adoption Story Par...
One of the hardest part of adoption is finding an agency that has worked with gay couples before. We have tried to help in that search on our website by adding a list of gay friendly adoption agencies.
www.gay-family-...
Read Bryans Blog on what we left out of the video:
gayfamilyvalues...
What struck me most about this video is when you guys talked about your life before you children. Amazing how much you've been able to enjoy with each other. Sometimes I wonder if that's even possible. Guess I just haven't met the right guy yet. Congrats to you both!
I am so glad i have found your videos. I am a gay man, and though i do not wish to be a parent, It is lovely to see that there are possibilities out there for those gay people that do want kids.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your experiences. I have no doubt that your videos will plant the seed to help many families grow and blossom.
Peace and love to you both.
Happy New Year.
~TJ.
Awesome videos! We had our finalization hearing last week for our 5 month old (who was born in Texas so your story about Texas customs brought a smile). Thanks for doing these videos!
You guys are great people. Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to put these videos together. I want to thank you guys for encouraging sibling adoptions and making a difference in our community. Your videos are greatly appreciated and inspirational. Not to mention, you guys make a wonderful couple. Your kids are very lucky. God bless.
Thank you so much for opening up your lives to us viewers!! You are both awesome parents! Thanks again
you guys are so brave cuz i know a lot of ppl give rly negative comments to ppl that are not the same as them or do not fall under a certain category as them but i rly liked this video and we need more ppl that keep going no matter what ppl say about them. thanks for being you.
It's reasons like this that I look forward to seeing your new videos coming out. It gives me hope for the world seeing how you two have worked out a life together that we aspire to, and have moved forward to affect more lives than you could have believed possible. ;)
A very intriguing and informative video. I look forward to the rest of the series!
Many thanks to you gentlemen for sharing this story! It's very nice and you tell it so well.
I absolutely LOVE this. I'm adopted and I plan on adopting when I'm ready to have children. This was a wonderful and helpful video, you guys are great.
Depfox, your kids are going to be so proud of you for making these videos when they are adults!
I wish my parents had taken more pictures and film of me as I grew up with them. Unfortunately, it is too late for that now.
Keep it up! One day your kids will watch your videos and laugh.
Great videos as usual guys. Very educational on a little known topic
Yeah, i've noticed it too! The way they both gesticulate to "clarify" and emphasize a point. Like sign language translators of sort. Endearing. :)
Loved this! We're also a gay male couple raising a now 22 month old daughter whom we adopted at birth, and are waiting for our second daughter to be born. Thanks for putting yourselves out there, and keep on doing what you're doing!
I am so proud of you guys! Dave and I have been together since we were 30. Back then (18 years ago) gay adoption was not even discussed.. Just think-if we had adopted then our kid would be in college now!! I often think of this because I would have loved to be a parent. Oh well..next life...
You younger gay folk..GO FOR IT!! Believe me..to rescue a child will make your soul shine.....
Happy holidays!
Jim
im ver excited for these videos because i have no clue where to start the whol process. i know it's lengthly, but worth it. so its great for couples like ours who are a bit overwhelmed... thank you guys!
so exciting--thanks for sharing! we need more brave folks like YOU!
This topic is really informative, and interesting. I look forward to the next video. Cheers.
I can't wait for the next video to be posted. Awesome video as usual.
I'm so late on this one, but my goodness, you guys are more than amazing! Bravo! Just for being you...
thanks so much for sharing your perspective.
it's really appreciated.
-chris
This is wonderful. We're not at the adoption point yet, but we're glad for any preparation you can offer!
You guys are such a lovely couple:) I wish the best for you and your children!
You have no idea how much I want to watch this video. More than any piece of film I have ever seen (apart from maybe the first Lord of the Rings movie) but it will only play 5 seconds for me.
I am so sad. Will have to try and download it from work tomorrow.
LOVED the video and I have shared the link on my website OutMaturity. I am actually posting the entire series since I feel its a great way for others to get information on adopting from "real world" perspectives.
Great postings and thanks for sharing all you share with us!
OutMaturity
omg such a heart warming story, thanks guys
I love your videos. Thank you so much. My partner and I are adopting right now and we are waiting for our placement at this point. We tried foster to adopt but we just couldn't handle it. Kids kept getting taken back or not placed with us at all. We finally gave up and just went for domestic adoption. Keep up the great work guys.
I'm looking forward to this series. I'm very interested in adoption, but I don't know very much about the process. I love you guy's videos :)
Thanks for your videos! :-) They are really helpful!
I can hardly wait for the nexxt video. I have said it once and I will say it again. Your family is a inspiration to the GLBT community. Thank You Leffew Family.
I just love you guys... Your wonderful and please even if you have different opinions dont forget that you LOVE each other!!!!! Take care. And all the best
Thanks for sharing your story. I learn so much from your family. BTW, l along with all types of people live in Texas. Most of us are alright. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.
Awesome video you guys. Very informative.
very important vid! cant wait till you do the vid about attitudes about sexually abused foster / orphan kids, i have a lot to say bout that.
thanks!i look forward to the future vids!
What a lovely story - It is frank and honest and real ... Kudos
Rachel Wolff h
Thank you so much for this!
Fantastic video guys! I'm going to show this to my mother - she's evangelical and strongly opposed to gay couples adopting (in fact, she's strongly opposed to gay couples period) but I think the amount of thought you guys put into your decision to have kids could help her recognise that gay people can be great parents.
What an inspiring and informative video! I'm glad you've decided to make this important series of videos. I feel homosexuals are blessed in not being able to conceive children from the people we're in a romantic relationship with.
you guys are amazing
Thanks so much for this video. It's really informative and helpful. =)
I think you would like our film about Queer Foster Youth. thanks for your awesome work!
Well the questions still stands
I love to listen to you, I love watching you. In my country it is not possible.
You are both lovely, commendable and a psychological support for many gay people. :)
Keep it up.
very sweet
I'm not sure if you've addressed this before, if you have I apologize, but what is Bryan's occupation? We found out that he works in retail, but where?
Fantastic video, I'm a major fan! I hope to find a partner and adopt kids too one day.
p.s. cute kiss at the end. We need more people like you two in the world.
love you guys
The Hitchcock movie or the John Buchan book?
Those are what i´ve got
You guys are a beautiful couple.
Your sentiments regarding adoption are my views as well. There are too many children who need loving and stable homes. I personally don't want to be responsible for bringing a life into this world that didn't ask to be.
But I would like to be responsible for assisting a child have a better quality of life than in an environment they would not have otherwise had.
i liked the end where you guys kissed, i believe it's important for your kids (& any haters!) to see appropriate affection like kissing & hugging.
The point is: a child is not a right, a child have rights.
And have the right to be in a family the most possible similar to his own real one.
We all have to be very careful, if we break the natural rule: "a male and a female and offspring" we don't have limit.
Good luck
@LathanJV36
I was thinking the same thing...daniel's body language seems a lot like bran's. it's so cute....and understandable...
having a cop as your father ... isn't that what every kid secretly dreams of!
You guy have to be the two cuddliest bears on youtube.
Dude, you freak me out! Can you answer the following question: What are the 39 steps?
I think it speaks volumes when you understand how hard Lgbt people strive to create and nurture love! Like hello ?! We fight to get married and we pursue difficult and costly ways to create a family .. I mean don't people get that these people are emotionally more powerful and asset to society ? They try to expand society's most important community ...FAMILY
@Wishingstarification Please educate yourself about adoption processes in specific states.
you two are such good parents, have you thought about adopting another child?
We're forced to go through the process of becoming parents with the proper degree of care and deliberation. We're smacked off the ego-trip associated with biological parenting, and are instead instilled with gratitude and appreciation of our hard gained families. Our eyes and hearts are opened to children in need. And we are forced to actually do something to improve this world, instead of increasing the problem.
@medusa1450 someone who would criticize me; even though I tried my hardest to fit in. It doesn't matter if your eight or eighty, you`ll still get criticized, taunted, teased, you name it. In life you're just going to have to live with it and make the best out of a bad situation. Children do not need both a mother and a father to grow up healthy, kind, and intelligent. People come from all walks of life...
Depends on the school environment, the neighborhood, and whether or not those two give a fuck about what other kids think of them. If they were living in a rural town and going to a private school, there would probably be some bullying, yes. From students and faculty. Trust me, I've seen it happen. But, as we go into the 21st century, it seems that children are becoming increasingly tolerant of differences among their peers. There could be some second looks, sure...
In my state - one one of us can adopt - we cannot be joint parents here in Ohio.
@ slc84101 - it was good that Jay could pull his law enforcement card but having to pull that card is appalling.
I understand more the Mexican authorities being concerned with two American men and two Mexican heritage children leaving Mexico - perhaps because of the history of American - Mexican relations or maybe I watched "Touch of Evil" too much.
If I ever have a gay son, you guys are more than welcome to adopt him.
Every bit of advise you gave should be followed by straight couples, too.
I love the little tangents you guys went on during this video. :-)
@Darkstar2398 First of all, just because someone is homosexual doesn't mean that they can't have and nurture children. Homosexuality not not a choice. You can't say it is, because it isn't, trust me. I don't think a child would rather live in a foster home in dirty, lonely, and unsafe environments over a safe and happy home.
i want a relationship like urs!! :)
You could just not watch the videos. BTW, They hardly ever even use the term "gay family" in them
Hi Jay, hi Bryan:) I'm a straight LGBT ally in Armenia, where we are still fighting for LGBT rights to be claimed and protected - homosexuality was decriminalized only in 2005.
Just dropped in to say your story is a wonderful example, and that your kids are lucky to have parents like you.
Just be happy, guys. Hugs & kisses from Armenia.
Do the kids see thier brothers? And is they do, what are the familys relation to you and yor family, the original questions are up there in the first KirilleXXI post
I have adopted a child. And I now have another that is not adopted. In Australia there are only 500 children available for adoption each year. I would agree that adoption to gay couples is preferential to foster homes. My beef I guess is that I base childhood on my own experiences and expect other children to be afforded the same upbringing. All children have the right to contact their biological parents at a later date. This causes emotional issues for straight parents, let alone gays.
what do you think of ex exodus leaders Gary Cooper and Michael Bussee, and the fact Gary Cooper died of Aids in 1991, eventhough they have been together since 1979 and had a formal commitment ceremony in 1982? i think many christians would use that to question whehter gays should be allowed to adopt, as you might live a "hedonistic" lifestyle, regardless of whether you are in long term relationship or not.the only reason I am writing this is to giving you chance to explain your side.
That poor baby, waking in the night, Instead of the feel of the mother who nurtured them for 9 months, it hears the sound of a television in the next room playing The Communards or Gloria Gaynor. The sound of a squeaking bed and the acrid stench of Amil-Nitrate wafting under the nursery door.
really guy?? lol but really ??
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
I don't need to do anything, sweets. I''m free to do and believe as I wish as long as I cause no harm. People used to object to people of different races or religions who wanted to marry, on "moral" and "religious" grounds. Look around you, darling, does that hold a lot of water in most of the world? That'd've no. Is it changing for the places where it still holds water? And that'd've yes. So those like you who decry equality for all human beings can get ready for change, or suffer through it.
God!!!! Homophobia is every wear.... Such an example u two guys very beautiful family and don't worry and even answer them......
My respect to u from Libya
kids.
did you ever guys regret anything in that procces? if you did what was that? :) i know that the kids are blessing and etc.,but there must be something which make you angry even nowadays, about the system or something like personal attitude toward you two? would love to hear or read how you two dealed with those things :)
xxxx
Brother, Middle, younger than daniel older than serena
Yeah and "Gay Married Couple with Two Adopted Kids" was too long a title!
many kids get abused by their genetic parents, being a good parent has nothing to do with your sexual orientation
Did you try to contact the siblings with the biological family members?
I think it's not right to tell an adopted child that he is a biological child; they are basically hiding the truth from him.
on it
"There is no actual evidence" ? You could try the billions and billions of people throughout the creation of humanity as evidence that a child had a mother and father. I am mellowing on gay adoption. What I have found is that not all gay people are like the ones I see on TV, at Mardi Gras, and hanging out in clubs. There are in fact many many types of Gays. So long as they are screened by the adoption agency to be the right type, then I think adoption is fine.
Objecting and not agreeing to something is not Hatred. You really need to tone down your criticism of people. You can say "I disagree" but to level a charge of Hatred is going overboard. People dont object to homosexuals because of hatred, they object due to religious, or moral issues. That is not, by any extent hatred. Society is not in favour, and you will find that the politicians that are advocating homosexual marriage and child adoption are losing votes. The UK being one such example.
even of the level burocracy?
@medusa1450 So, you would rather have a child live in an overly crowded house and continuously deal with being shifted from house to house instead of letting a loving and welcoming gay couple adopt them? All because of the fear that they`ll get harassed because they don't have a mother (or a father in a lesbian case)? Let me tell you something; Although i`m done with school I can say for myself that no matter how many times i've tried to change myself for others to like me, there was always...
Because...? *crickets, tumbleweeds, etc.* Psychological studies have shown that girls tend to open up more to their fathers during a critical period of development. I suppose you'd say a boy must be raised by a man as well? Equally invalid. While this is not true in all circumstances, an overabundance of presupposed values of how "boys" should act can lead to an inability for a young man to properly deal with, and express, his emotions.
Emotional issues happen because people love their children,not because their straight or gay.You don't like gays,because other wise you would be telling heterosexuals to take care of their children.Why do I know that,because,their the ones who made it possible for them to be adopted in the first place.You need to realize just because your child carries some of your DNA ,doesn't make you a good parent,it has nothing to do with parenting,what is important is your unconditional love for that child
Original: I have a few questions actually but I going to wait until the end, see if i can make a video response.
Second: Dude we are so in sync. These are my questions too. XD
Who's the mother and who's the father?
everyone should be screened, not just gays. we aren't the only ones who go to clubs.
Unfortunately repeatedly using the word "Hatred" to people who do not agree with you, is doing the cause a great disservice and makes it less likely that people will accept homosexuality in the community. As you know, its possible to make laws, but unless "The Community" accept it, then it wont work. Currently the Jury is out in the Community with regard to Homosexual parenting, so calling people Haters is not going to help.
mom...dad...wait...mo....dad..dad..?
I'm sorry you feel that way RobJohnll.....Go fall off something
WILL SUPPORT YOU GUYS!
DON'T HIDE YOUR PRIDE
ANGELO
OFFICIAL VIDEO
and dont even start with the "SIN" part be cause, you are a siner too, "who without sin cast the first stone", if you are go ahead cast it. if you are not, leave.
But I doubt they'd be made the social pariah of the school over that. Also... your logic here is really wonky. By that moral code, you might as well be saying that single parents should immediately surrender their children to the state. What if the kid's too young to remember their mother or father?
i would never want to be adopted by gay people sorry but i just don't really feel comfortable knowing that two men have sex with eachother its just wrong