Jay's Coming Out Story
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- Ok, so I have had a few requests for my coming out story. My Husband Bryans Coming out video was really well recieved and inspiring. I hope this story helps someone who has the same type of family I had. I found it very hard to make this video. It is much easier for me to talk about marriage equality and my family then it is to talk about myself. As a young man I tried to commit suicide twice. I want all young gay people to know that there is hope and a life after coming out.
Ok I got a lot of questions from this video so I made a coming out story part 2. here is the link • Jay's Coming Out Story...
Jay and Bryan THANK YOU SO MUCH. I am gay and i always wanted a family always wanted kids. For a while after coming out to myself i thought that i never would have MY kid. But to be honest you guys showed me that just because its not Biologically your kid they still are YOUR kids. your family is inspirational and i love you guys.
Thank you for sharing this! I know from experience that being gay is not something you choose but who you are! I'm sure this has helped LOTS of other gay men and women who deal with parents that don't understand or being influenced by the "Extreme Right!" As a gay man, I didn't choose to be who I am and to go through the persecution and discrimination that comes with being gay. So glad to see attitudes have changed since back in the late 70's and 80's, although there is always room for improvement! Thanks for being a part of educating people on what being gay really is! We're human just like our straight counterparts and thanks for being here!! HUGS and MUCH LOVE!! Keep up the great work Jay and Bryan!! :-)
It is a great honour to hear you tell us about your coming out journey. This is true activism. The more visible we are the safer we are and the stronger we all become from that shared openness. Thank you Jay.
I'm happy that you came out of the closet. I'm heartbroken at your dad's response to the news. I'm glad that you didn't die by suicide and that you were able to build the life you deserve with your husband & family. Thank you to you and your family for advocating for the LGBTTQ community. Personally I came to myself and my friends in the GSA as bisexual. I have not come out to my parents and probably never will because in my situation it's not safe to do so. I support you 100%. I do stand up for our community though against prejudicial & discriminatory comments & actions even within my family. Everybody has their own way of coming out and this is my way.
After hearing Bryan's coming out story, I wanted to hear that of his husband. The two of you have both done good jobs, and I am sure that all your subscribers and other RUclipsrs will benefit from hearing what y'all have to say. This video, too, is going on my "Coming Out As Gay" RUclips Playlist.
Wow, Jay. We have a similar story. I also went into the army at 18 (in 1979). I also come from a family of five children...my father was also abusive (to all of us, physically and emotionally). We both seem to come from a screwed up life, but was able to overcome the hardships. I am now in a loving relationship with my partner of ten years...never been happier. Thanks for your story. I wish you love and happiness in the years to come. God Bless!!!!!
Great video mate. I'm 38 & only had the courage to come out five years ago after my mum passed away I was always worried of disappointing her, I just stayed single all my adult life up until I was 33 as I didn't want to hurt anyone by telling lies pretending to be straight etc so I figured I'd stay single then when my mum passed I knew it was my time and I'm now happily settled with my partner of 5 years & have told my family & friends all of whom were great! Anyway thanks for your video it was great to watch
All the best
Sean.
I don't even know where to begin. NO you did not exceed your time, you took what time you needed to to say what you had to say. I could never put into words how much a role model you, Brian and Selena and Daniel are to others. I am a 62 year old self respecting gay man, and still I get a lot from your videos, but can only imagine how young insecure kids might need what you show them. Keep up the good fight, you are all great people!
Words are not enough to describe how thankful I am that I found your channel. I live in an area where most people are conservative Christians. So hearing this gives me hope and it aloud me to realize I can have a husband one day and still be a follower of Christ. Thanks!
Thanks for posting this Jay! It is nice to realize that someone can be gay and have values, a normal life and a real family... you're such an example.
Hi Jay, Just a quick note to express my appreication and applaude your efforts you make in your videio. i'm 51yrs, gay, but unlike you, have not come out. Though, at 51, no gf ever, no children, you'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to know. Yet, I've told no one. I am nearing retirement, so I am now at a point where living more true to self is looking like the light at the end of the tunnel. It is videos like yours that keep incouraging me, that keeps that dream alive, Thank You.
Jay my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry your father disowned you and I'm sorry what you had to go through growing up. I'm so glad that you remained strong and that you are now happy with Bryan and your children. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for posting this.
Thank you for sharing your powerful story. I was rejected by my mother and so I can understand the hurt and the self-discovery of how courageous we actually are to be true to ourselves.
I lost my parents before I was able to come out, but my older brother pretty much turned me away...when I let them know that I was getting married to my partner, I guess it was too much. I was very involved in church before' for 7 years....choir, praise team, etc. I also had to leave church and my views have changed on the way Christians act towards gay people. I still love God with all my soul, but I also love my husband. He is my family and I have never been happier! Thank you for posting :)
You sound just like me when I was 19. Actually, I'm going back to that time when I wondered: "am I the only one who doesn't follow this 'whatever thing considered gay'?" "Am I going to be alone forever because I don't fit the stereotypes?". But well... listening to people saying we're individuals (which is how I perceive myself) is always helpful. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you. I'm 63 and have just 2 weeks ago come out to my wife and family. It's painful and my heads all over the place. But it is also liberating. At last I'm free in a way.
To me, the most inspiring part of your story is that you have created a family. At the moment, as an 18 year old looking ahead to my future, I feel torn. I am torn because I feel that my only option to ever raise a family of my own is to remain single, and adopt. For the same reason, I feel that the only way I'll get into relationships of my own is to sacrifice my dream of raising a child. Also, of course, worried about my friends + family... haven't told a single person yet.
I very much sympathize.
I'm a hint, "younger" but pretty much in the same boat.
Thank you for posting this, you did what I could not do, tell the truth of the place and state I'm in.
It has helped me see that I'm not alone, I seriously thought I was the only "Gracefully Mature" one here dealing with such problems.
Thank you again for having the courage to state what you did. *Stands up and claps :)*
I am glad your suicide attempts failed. You are a remarkable man,good husband ,father and human being. God bless you.
Thanks Jay! Very brave of you to talk about your painful past. I'm sorry you were not accepted in your own family. What a loss for them. You aren't missing anything. You are blessed with Bryan and the kids, I'm so happy for you that you have become a happy and whole person. Blessings forever. xoxo
Love your video. I have two kids,one that I adopted when I was married. You can have a family and be gay.. My kids are wonderful and My partner and I Love our kids. We are the same as any straight parents..You guys are wonderful..thanks so much for posting this video..you guys have reached so many people...TY..God Bless
Wow. That's awesome to hear how much Bryan has helped you in understanding who you are as a gay man! My partner helped teach me the same things!
dude right on for sharing your story. also your star wars collection is mind blowing
Hi, Jay.
Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. I'm sure it helped many kids and will help many more. Even adults who are still strugling. Thank you from my heart.
it was so brave and strong of you to share this with the world....you have helped many with this video...thank you so much for sharing!
Powerful story there Jay. My heart goes out to you so much. I wish i could have been there for you back then to reassure you. If only i had the experience that i have today. I am so relieved that you and Bryan have found each other. When i see ye together i feel so proud. I'm sending you a vid response that i made early last year on this subject. Its called "Its ok to be gay so dont stray". Love and respect from us to ye! XxxxX
Thanks, Great to hear your story, it's a bitterswwet story and I am so pleased I stumbled accross it. I Tutor young people in Equality & Diversity and also being gay myself, I am interested in other peoples storys and you have inspired me to do my own. Thanks Dave UK
I don't know if you care, but in case you do, I just thought I'd let you know that I came out to my best friend, my sister, and my parents just before the end of this summer. They all took it great & I feel much more liberated than ever before. While I still harbor doubts about what I said above & worry about how to get into the "gay dating scene", I feel much better knowing I can do it with some support. Thanks again for the inspiration.
Why is that if you're a feminine gay man you're not considered "normal" but if you act like a straight man you are. It's bullshit. Being a gay man and masculine is like the holy fucking grail. You're invisible to the straight world unlike the feminine men who are visibly gay and can't help it. It doesn't help that they're even shit on and judged by their own community. Normal does't exist.
I 100% agree with what you said and even in the gay world we need to learn how to be more accepting of each other.
Hi Jay, I wanted to say that I really appreciate your video. I am 30 years old and have not yet come out to my family. I do dream of having a husband and kids someday and hearing your story give me hope and courage that I may have that too. Thanks!
I understand you so much, ohh my, I do really understand, I'm really happy that you have found yourself and that now you have also found true love and have a wonderful a beautiful family, I hope one day I can be that happy.
Thanks to you and your husband for this wonderful videos.
All my love to you and all your family
Thanks Jay. This is an amazing story..I was married 2 kids..this story is so much about me..Thank you so much for sharing..
Wow! that was a touching video. Your story can help a lot of young people who are struggling inside with their sexual orientations .
And Iam glad that you found inner peace
by accepting and love who you are, and by knowing that God loves you.
Thanx for posting this!!! I've been watching many of your vids and I'll stop commenting for now.....before both of you think I'm some kind of stalker....I just think both of you are such a rolemodel!!!! The world needs more and more like the 2 of you!
It was a real pleasure to hear your story. I'm glad you found love and acceptance, even though it wasn't from your dad. Thank you for sharing your life with us. It's wonderful to see the walls of stereotypes and bigotry slowly being torn down in this country. Hopefully, in the future, it will be completely acceptable for people to love whoever they want.
I feel so sorry that you had to go through hard times with suicidal thoughts and problems with your father. I'm glad that you are now married and have a family and all. I hope you will have a good life.
Thanks so much for your candor. Visibility and honesty is the best way to dispel our myths about ourselves and about other queer women and men. Thanks! :D
Thank you for sharing Jay. You have the most fascinating coming out account that I've heard (which admittedly isn't much and mostly limited to the ones I've seen on RUclips). Probably the most shocking with the whole jumping off the bridge suicide attempt which fortunately failed. It's interesting to see how others dealt with their homosexuality. It's just nice to learn more about you. I never realized just how deep RUclips videos could be until lately like with watching vids like yours.
I kinda guess the message to be found here is that the grass is greener on the other side. It's always such a shame when a family dissowns one of their own, it's by no means rare, but it's sad to see or even hear that people still have to go through what they have.
Atleast now though, life is better for you and you can enjoy yourself better than when you were trying to deny who you were at heart :)
Excellent communication of your story. Congratulations on your accomplishments in having a gay family. Tom
You're a wonderful human being with a wonderful story to share. :)
Merry Christmas.
thanks for sharing your story...
It will be helpful to many people.
Blessings to you and your family.
YOU ARE MY HERO!THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR COMING OUT STORY!
Thanks Jay..for sharing .great attitude...great story...down to earth person...
all the best for you.
Great video. Thank you for sharing this. Your videos really warm my heart. The world needs more people like you guys! :)
Wow!! I'm not gay but listening to your story touched me and I commend you for your bravery!!
I'm trying too hard to write a comment and the words just don't come out that well but here goes: Jay and Bryan, thank you for making this channel, and everything you showed with it. I would never have imagened two men could have such a wonderful family together. Looks like the never ending stream is stereotypes got me there (I really need to get of my ass and socialise). I hope one day I will find a partner that is just as great as you guys are.
I think is really positive to share your feelings with young people who could be afraid or misunderstood.
Parents and Religion should help instead of being so rude sometimes.-
You inspired and gave me strenght to show to people who I am. Wish I could have a lovers and family like you have...
I respect you so much. I am lesbian and religious and that's been pretty hard and isolating for me.
Names Lenin. i just wanna say you have an awsome story. i've seen videos of poeple going through the same stuff you are. glad you have a husband and a wonderful family. hOpe to hear from you soon
- Lenin Vergara -
This is so inspiring! I'm 16 and this has helped me so much! Im struggling so much with religion. I don't want to go to hell!
Great video, I look forward to seeing part 2! :D
the truth set you free as it does all of us thank you for all you do
I know how you feel. The Army has done the same for me... oddly enough it helped me come out and feel more comfortable with myself
Thank you so much, I did and it helped a LOT, it even made me shed a tear or two.
Thank You so much again. :)
I also played sports to fit in, being in the weight room was the only thing that kept me from being picked on. Now I'm a proud nerd.
The breaking of stereotypes had a similar effect on me; it was the catalyst for me becoming pro-gay. My friend that came out of the closet is was considerably more masculine than I am, lol.
Hey Jay.... I admire you so much, even though my life wasn't as hard like yours.... My father was very conservative Catholic... there was a time my parents realized I was gay, and got almost threatened by him about leaving those tendencies... He never approached to meet my partner. Don't know where I would have been if I've never met my husband.
I find it so sad that there are so many stories of gay men coming out and being so fearful of what friends and family will say. I wonder if its any different for young gay people today. Sadly, I don't think it is. Thank you for this. David
thanx for your story....i totally relate!
its best to ignore comments from pple who specifically look for vids like yours just to put you/us down coz its easy for any1 to write a comment and post.......
I'm glad you pulled through. It's a shame that so many homosexual men and women are made to feel from childhood that they are corrupted in some fundamental way. My father talked out against homosexuality alot but when my sister came out when she was 18 he soon became more accepting; the only problem now is who she's with, lol. I can't imagine the pain of familial rejection but I feel for you and hope you keep a good family life from here on.
I now know why you appreciated my earlier comment so much, and I would just like to say that you guys really are an inspiration. I'm not gonna lie, I love both your kids and I would love a daughter like Selena one day... except my daughter's name will be autumn if i have a say in it. Once again, thank you so much. You guys are awesome!!
Excellent video- I can definitely relate to your story -Mine is similar & I'm a veteran too. Definitely believe you can be gay and go to church- God loves us all.
thank you so much for sharing your life with us :) my best friend went through hell when he came out to his parents he tried to kill his self and his mom became obsessed with sending him to church camps so he could be " cured " . thank goodness things turned out good for you and bryan and for my friend micheal :)
Thank you for posting this!
i really glad that you pulled through. it took me 5 years before i accepted it. and i agree that you are your own person, and its stupid to stereotype.
Wow, your father reminds me of my father..religious and conservative. That is my worst fear of happening: my father disowning me because i'm gay. (I haven't told my family yet) I can only imagine what that must have been like... But things seemed to turn out alright in the end as you have this amazing family now :)
thanx for this i never new how to come out untill now. i can now go tell my frends with confedence
Hey Jay, thanks for posting this. I am sorry to hear about your dad's reaction. I came out to my mum and aunt about a month ago. My aunt took it pretty well (she is a nun!), whereas it took my mother a bit longer to come to terms with it. Now our relationship is pretty much the same as it used to be, but I feel she might be trying to avoid the topic. The hardest part will be telling my dad. He is quite religious too, but a lot more closed-minded than my mum and aunt. Wt do u think i should do?
Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for being so open. I am sure it will help a lot of people, specially the young ones wo live in homophobic enviroments.
A well delivered video. Thanks x
Thanks for sharing....Your family is amazing!
An kind and that he makes me so happy and that I never thought I will never find anyone and I did and I have u guys to Thank So Much cuz when I see ur videos I tell myself if they can have there family and there life then why can't I make myself happy like that so I thank u guys so much u guys and ur family mean south to me and that ur family n u guys are the ones that help me be happy.......Becuz of ur family and u to my life is so much happier and I get to love someone who he cares about me n
It just goes to show that absence of a father does not cause homosexuality! and having sex with women will not turn a homosexual who has never had sex with women straight.! Both my brother and my cousin told me that i needed to get laid after coming out.
Thank you very much for showing me this video, it is very encouraging and helps a lot with what i am going through right now.
I thought my father would react the same way based on the same attributes but somehow he was completely fine with it. I felt like I wasted a lot of years worrying but its still difficult to be happy. Even though I have friends and family who know and are fine with it I still am the same way, which is a feeling I did not foresee after coming out. So hopefully happiness comes at some point but its a longer fight than I had anticipated.
WE LOVE YOU JAY!
u had a similar experience that i had when i was young, my father abused mainly the kids, iv only had one suicidal experience but i had a religious experience at the same time which showed me wicca, finally i came out to my mom and sister.
Great video...you and Bryan seem like 2 great guys from your videos and have 2 beautiful children. Although we have no kids of our own one day maybe.....:)
We have been together for a little over 7yrs now and as far as love there is definitely enough to go around. I personally worry to much about the financial aspects right now. Economy stinks etc..I am 31 and Paul is 42 so we still have some time..I think:) I believe when the time is right we both will know it although it is not legal from my understanding here in NC to adopt a child together as a gay couple but we had no problem being approved to foster but we opted out of doing..:)
I could never understand the dressing as woman side of gay men, it probably held me off coming out a year or two! Good film, hugs from Manchester.
Probably because at the time he thought that he would enjoy it and make him straight.
A lot of men think that having sex with women will stop you being homosexual, which I think its wrong.
Being attracted to the same gender is not only about sex, just as how straight couples feel attracted to each other for different reasons.
I love both you & Bryan hon! You two are my role models & great dads!!! *HUGS YA TO PIECES*
Very nice video Jay!!
-Erik
Thanks for sharing. Your experience is living testimony to how twisted some straight "Christian" people can be and you and Bryan together together are living testimony to how "straight" (in the sense of balanced normality sharing human love and kindness) gay people are.
I have a gay friend in the UK who did the Civil Partnership thing and I was shocked at how he did not at all see the point of the recent legislation for recognizing same sex unions as "marriage".
SCOTUS should end DOMA/Prop8.
Wow! What a great story thank you!
Hello guys, I don’t think that you should worry so much about the negative comments you receive and keep doing what you are doing what bring much more value to people that those comments.
Life is too short to waste time on comments what only intention is doing harm. So just use your time wisely and keep doing what bring a benefit to humanity.
Very touching story.
I'm still closeted and I don't think I can ever become open with any of my relatives. I think I
l'll be "disowned" by literally all of them. Sad...I know.
Thanks for the video, it helped a lot.
Dear NataliePorts,
No, it is up to him to label himself; any private judgement you make should remain private unless you are invited to share your judgement.
.
cheers.
Jay, I think I've watched this video 10 times already. You and I are alike in so many ways, the military, depression, fathers homophobia. Fortunately my father went a full 180 degrees when I came out to him, I thought he was gonna disown me, but he actually apologized to me. Question though, why do you think that being in the military, it actually makes you wanna come out more?
This is great, I love you guys :)
Thanks for sharing that video.
40 y. o.... and i came out only to my sister 9 years ago, but now i got merried to a woman and have 3 kids now... life is complicated😐
Thank you for this, thank you
i just couldnt remove my eyes from your collection of star wars action figures.
Thank you Jay I really like your video I love it
Thanks for sharing your coming out story.
You said you'd come to realize in the army that you can be gay and at the same time "normal". I wish you could realize you can be an atheist and at the same time a person of morals and values. Christianity has been from its inception and throughout the ages a "faith" of gay hatred and of bigotry.
You did a good and sensible thing after you came out to renounce religion. You should have stuck with it.
@depfox thats awesome man, i loved watching your vid!
Whatever you find good and appealing in religious practice and values - you can still keep practicing and upholding it as an atheist. If churches know that no matter how horrible their teachings and actions are, their names and traditions will eventually be redeemed by good people like yourself and your spouse - what incentive is there for them to mend their ways?