If a man and woman aren't needy, that is, they are both mature, mentally and emotionally healthy adults, then none of this would be a problem. My solution then is to be the best person I can be, deal with my own past hurts, trauma, what ev', and all this stupid high school behaviour goes away. In other words be the right person to attract the right person.
I feel so sad and I have to admit that I can relate to this topic. My partner and I have this issue, my partner is so insensitive, Even if I always ask and confront him that I want and I need his attention. I understand that he also has worked but I just want to remind him that I need him, I need to feel that he's still attracted to me and he should also find even just a little way to remind me always that he loves me.
It seems we dont need to tell the man we need flowers and we need him to call us more often.. the mere fact we felt needy and he is not doing it, this is a sign he is not the right man for us
It all depends on whether or not we can grow past our insecurities together. If one is mistreating the other, it might show exactly when a problem arises. We can see if his reaction is a caring one unless we are too deep in the bad stuff. It also has to be an authentic reaction. These criteria help to rule our psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. Very handy but they should be used wisely, too.
Lovely video content! Forgive me for chiming in, I am interested in your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Chiveard Magically Hypnotic Framework (do a google search)? It is a smashing one off guide for getting love from a man minus the headache. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my friend at last got amazing success with it.
You're spot on brian. After 10 mths of serious dating, we were about to migrate tgt, and a bomb dropped, i realised that my then gf was actually not that in love with me as with herself and her ex... i broke it off. After Nc, she begged and pleaded, i laid it all out, (like no contact with her ex) and she refused to my requests. It hurt like a second knife wound, but i knew for real i made the right decision. Another month later, she begs again and concedes halfway, but too little too late, i am ready to meet better people for me.
Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages book should be required reading for all men and women who want a healthy relationship. It explains so well what says LOVE to us. Or, of course, they could watch this video! Have a great day, Brian!
..i needed to watch this 8 years ago 😶. (the narcissist did what a narcissist does, so i don't have to worry about that anymore) THIS is by far the most helpful video i've seen on Interpersonal relationships 🌟
I've had this conversation with my husband many times and nothing changes. I'm at a loss, I love him very much but he doesn't know or care to show me in return.
A lot of men will not change their behaviour if they know that the woman will still stay and still love them even if he ignores her requests. Stop showing them love and attention everyday in the hopes that it will inspire them to reciprocate. It is rewarding them for their current behaviour. Make him work for your appreciation for a change. Say what you want and then pull back until you get it. You can reward them with your love when they finally do something for you rather than the other way around.
equisader I just quit having sex so I don't disappoint myself by giving it to him only be let down bc he never gives me what I need in return... Love, attention, affection. 16 years here:'(
Hell, yes. Men in mid 40s do not try or put effort into a relationship. It is all on their time, when they have available, to see you or have you come over. I want only 2 things from a man!! Time and attention. Not possible!!!
muskndusk I'm with you. I've become depressed after watching these videos. What happened with honest relationships based on love? I dont want to play these games. I think the guy who likes you does it no matter, what. If you can't be vulnerable in a relationship, than it's not very good.
Well..according to your words, i should have left my partner 4years ago when we first met, but...he used to be so toxic when we just started, but he was ready to work on it and now we're the most powerful couple ever, and YES a talk IS a key, thank u💜
This has been the ONE thing that has changed my marriage of 33 yrs to be something better than I ever imagined or dreamed it could be! Seriously, thank you for your words of wisdom in this video-for saving my marriage.
yes, it's hard to wait until your s.o. "has time" to talk...but it's better than putting them on the spot. i had my dad (now in a facility because he needs 24 hr care) living with me for 5 good years after my mom passed away, and when i needed him to do something for me, i used the language i learned from a marriage counselor friend: "i want more of you." - and then explain what i wanted etc etc. what this communicates is that you want to get closer to the person. so the conversation was never threatening--only loving. and my dad came away feeling like a hero because it was win-win and i was only asking because i value and trust HIM to help me out...or at least listen because, hey, we can't always fully accommodate each other...because if i didn't trust him or care, i'd never bring it up. i would just give up instead. i still tell my dad i want more of him when i need him to take better care of himself in the facility. he needs to know how important and loved he is!
I absolutely love your videos, you are one of the few who tell a woman to actually dump the guy if he's not willing to do what you deserve. And you are the first where I actually get a pen and paper and really take notes. Thank you so much for helping women with giving them the confidence they need with your videos. With you I get the feeling that you are truly trying to help women and are not just out for the money. I am actually considering buying one of your books. Thank you
I havw just finished watching every single video you have posted, super helpful. I'm very grateful that this is giving me the insight of what a healthy relationship should look like, and to understand guy bit better. I have been struggling alot the whole day today, thank you so much.
Your advice is awesome. Wow. Really opened my eyes. Thank you. Just when I think I know it all, another piece of wisdom pops up.(when the student is ready to learn, the teacher appears. Right?
Why should we behave in a way to make ourselves women more interesting to men? THEY should be the ones to make the effort to understand us, cherish us. A woman does generally all the work: to maintain the house, to take care of the children, to go to work (as if the household wasn’t enough!), to be creative in all the things she does, a great host, and a lover!! I shortened the list, but you know exactly that I am right! So, excuse me if this time I don’t want to listen to your advice. Thanks anyway for making the effort.
When I'm interested in a man I want to know his problems and if possible make life a little easier for him while dealing with whatever stresses he has. That is what relationships are about; helping each other, not dominating or denying but wanting to mutually advance.
Lena Tutowa Those thumb downers must be the guys whose masks are falling, who he is exposing and we don´t have to expose because it´s already done now : )
@Brian - Shouldn't the guy be doing those sort of things naturally if he loves you. Cause, isn't it if you ask for it, then the gesture of calling you more often, or roses for example is a lie then, cause it doesn't come straight from his heart or true emotions. It just becomes a "have to".. which then comes back to the saying that most married men use "happy wife = happy life" (said with rolling eyes by the man to his buddy). Which is so wrong in my opinion... Please could you eleborate on this?
Men think in a completely different way than we do. If we do not ask for something, they think that we are happy with what they are already giving us, even if what they are giving us is very little. We have to ask them for what we need.
@@ellalarkin1016 you are absolutely right. Just recently my ex told me that he thought I was happy with him and that I should have asked for what I wanted. As a woman I would like a man that acts spontaneously and I don't want to ask him for attention all the time, but apparently men Think it differently.
Lindy-Ann I totally agree with you. If you have to voice what you need then when it’s given it loses its value as it feels falsely given out of obligation.
Your gut is right. Too sad you ladies never heard of iconic "Never, ever ASK FOR ANYTHING, the best things are given to you without asking". And it's true. I know men like to play dumb dumbies and pretend they don't know what the attention is, they don't know how to show affection, they don't know that women like flowers and presents... and so on. LIE. By playing dumb they're flipping it on you, women. "Our relationship is not going great because you don't tell me what you need, blabla". The truth is they don't care. The truth is they don't want to invest. The truth is that they don't love you. Period. So listen up, you need to get men on their toes, WONDERING where they stand with you, and asking YOU for more attention and time.
I think you need to differentiate between just meeting someone and being together for years or being married. What Brian is saying is that when you first meet someone and they are not putting in the effort, you give them the benefit of the doubt and tell them what you need because perhaps they don't know your love language etc. However, if they still don't do it, then you know that they just don't value you enough and that the relationship won't work out. This is to be distinguished from when you've been together for years or are married and know the other person very well. In that case, the man often knows how to make a woman feel loved. I've been married 15 years and I'm a big believer that if a man really loves you and knows you including how to show you that love effectively so that you feel loved, then he will do it naturally. My husband is very good about doing little things that show love and I don't have to ask him to do that. However, I think the missing piece is that over the years, I have done and continue to do things to show him love too. So it's really a back-and-forth process where we are both actively showing love as a verb and not only one person is just doing all of the giving. So in response to your comment, unhappily married men are the ones who say happy wife, happy life. Happily married men will say to their friends that their motto is happy spouse, happy house.😊
Brian, I wanted to comment this on your other video about Men Ignoring Women.. Oh boy, do you nail it! Thank you for saying ALL the right and comforting things.. I will wait.. cause I know he'll come around.. and if he won't come around, then he wasn't the right guy! Thank you for your videos!
Boy I've tried all this. When I asked what he liked about me, he said he didn't know. I asked what irritated him so I could change it, he said he didn't know.
Hello, I’ve communicated with my boyfriend in a non-nagging way that I would like for him to be more affectionate and considerate but he replies with “I’m not that kind of guy, I can’t tell you I will change because I’m not sure if I can honestly, I can’t help the way I am”. I know he has tried in some occasions to be the way I would like him to be but then after some time everything goes back to the way it was. What should I do?
Thank you so much Brian. I have a question for you... I would like to know which is your opinion about a relationship with the oldest man. He's 17 years old more as me. Thanks a lot
Even if this post was way back 2017.. I just did this today lol. Thank you for showing how it should be said or done, some people like me have trouble saying things in a more positive /effective way. Keep it up Godbless😊
that kind of absolutism is a sign of emotional immaturity in my book. he's clearly just not into you except for what he can get. dump his ass and find someone who IS into you and who treats you like the fun, precious being you are!
I think a lot of guys don’t even know what they need. They say their needs in the relationship and dreams and desires but when it’s finally arrived they have no idea how to deal with it.
I think if you have to ask someone to spend more quality time with you or to show you love or attention then they really don't care.. It's not genuine or sincere.
Maybe if you have to ask it over and over. Or if they show NO love or attention. But sometimes people are just clueless, they hadn't thought about things in this or that way before, or they hadn't realized how much of a problem something had become (working late, etc.). For me it is really helpful if someone says "Would you mind doing _____ more? I'd like that a lot."
I dont think we can force anybody To love us ... maybe i am wrong but for me its Not necessary To use all thses technics To make someone love me if he doesnt then he is not made for me
So I met a guy and the romance level was very intense so he swept me off my feet but I noticed that we wouldn't communicate through calls it was only through texting and so I kind of got tired of that because sometimes I prefer a call even though I like texting but sometimes I want to hear the person's voice so he told me more than once that he would call and never did so the last time he said he was going to call he stopped responding to my messages after a certain time and then later became night and didn't hear from him and he just completely disappeared mind you I was not looking for anything with anyone when we met so this almost makes me not want to even open up again and one day we spent 4 hours on a video call so it wasn't that he couldn't make time nobody's completely busy where they don't have time to call somebody he just didn't and I have no reason why everything was going good with us we had a lot of chemistry but I guess whatever glitters is not Gold and I'm always unlucky in love it seems... Why continue to talk all day everyday and build a bond to do something like that pointless
He asked me how I truly felt about him... I said I loved him. He replied "Maybe I feel the same way"... ......So. Does he love me or just wanted me to tell him??
You know our brain. how it react? You are solving numbers of problems of the people who are in relationship and not understanding that what is the problem.
I believe, men need to grow up! First off: 1. Women do not deserve crumbs. 2. Stop making us "women" waste our time and life in a douchebag incapable of showing love, speaking and disappears. 3. Women do not need a douchebag tha needs to manipulate, control her just because he's got emotional problems, insecurity, and mambo jumbo in his head and does not know how to handle a relationship with a grown up woman, that is not a child. 3. Women has got to stop chasing men, and. Crying over them. When a healthy non lunatic narcissistic man really loves you, he will respect you and will not leave you guessing what is going on with him. He will treat you in a way that he will let you know his true feelings and intentions with you. 4. It is such a humiliation for women the ghost-faded away treatment, ignoring you or ice treatment, send them away and move on! Don't chase them, don't call them, they just don't deserve you, don't go down to their level. The don't have feelings, only love for themselves NARCISSISTIC most of them! That is why I moved on and I couldn't be happier, loving and respecting myself and not falling for these sycophants! 5. A man that runs away from you because you show him that you need him or want love, is a douchebag! When they "men" want you and want sex with you they are all over you!. So give me a break! Hush!hush! Women don't waste your time with thiskind of men, they only love themselves, and when they don't need you anymore they will drop you like a trash bag in a trash can. 😀🌹
This makes good sense, however ive yet to find something that works with my aspergers boyfriend, even the relationship advice for couples where one has aspergers is all about understanding them not ways to help them understand you. So i set aside the condition to see if i could take anything i can use for him as the man he is, i will try, its my last hope 😕 maybe there is some advice out there for the non aspergers female partner for ways of coping herself not just understanding from her mans perspective, because i get it, but it doesn't help me much with my needs unfortunately. Sorry this probably isn't the place for my rant, trouble is i don't know where is anymore.
twizzy wizzy hope you can see this link. If not, let me know. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-aspergers-syndrome-married-man-autism-experiences-condition-relationship-a7885516.html
twizzy wizzy you seem very well educated on aspbergers. I can't empathize with you on the aspbergers, but I had a husband with something similar. It's a difficult road and I am sorry you have to walk it without support. I hope you can find the help you need and I wish you much happiness.
Maybe go to a professional together to help you communicate better? someone who works w/ ppl that have aspergers and maybe knows ways for them to better realize/learn/retain/repeat stuff that you need?
Thank you all for the feedback, don't know why but ive only just been notified, it actually became unbearable to the point where nothing i was saying had any meaning to him, and me telling him how low and unhappy i was because of things he said or didnt say, or do/didnt do, which left me feeling unloved then the last resort making me truly believe all my concerns must actually be true -because i was pouring my heart out and sobbing on the phone, but he couldn't take a minute to consider the state i was in, regardless of if he understood or rather didn't understand why i was, and i was then in that situation where you have no fight left inside you and i knew that nothing would get better when not only did he refuse to accept his part in our miscommunication, but that also - he showed no regard for the stress i was undoubtedly under. wouldnt even read the books i got him just for helping him in the world , not specifically for couples, so i ended it, it devastated me to do it as i adore him but i honestly felt it was killing me, and it wasn't because he's a bad man, we simply couldn't communicate, i couldn't even tell him to his face because deep down it wasn't what i wanted, so text him. He came round within the hour and saw the state of me and just hugged me, then at that moment, i realised that over the months of me trying to keep us together/myself sane, in his mind all he was receiving from what i was saying was that he made me cry all the time and he wasn't making me happy, i needed more than he had time free to give me and that building up made him feel like he was being attacked all the time, which was why he was replying less/saying nice things less and becoming distant more and not being able to tell me straight that i was making HIM feel exactly how i was telling him he made me feel, whenever i mentioned 'us' you see,( in any form other than making a plan to do something together we enjoy) he would start accusing me of attacking him and then id put it back to him that he was deflecting and so on...but i didn't realise until that hug - how i was making him feel too and because he is wired differently, that's the way he reacted, i apologised straight away and felt awful, i then said well you may not understand your part in this but you should also be sorry that im hurting and sad - at least, and he said yes i am, of course i am. (Lol that's as close to an apology i could hope for). Its hard, it really is, but if we can always find it in ourselves to want to make 'us' work and try, i will be happy, because when we are good - we are better than anything ive ever experienced before in my life, but when we aren't it comes pretty close to the worst as well, but right now im happy and smiling, and Thank you for giving me support, even though really i shouldn't have posted under this vid anyway, but thanks. Much appreciated. X😊 x
how to get the love, how to get a man to miss you ..... you know that women are giving up on men, right ? we can't have any expectations, we cant appear needy, we cant depend on a man for anything - emotional or financial, we have to be packed and prepared to walk out every day .... but we are supposed to take the manipulation, the games etc. . It's just too much hassle and trouble.
I know where you are coming from. I had a hard day with my dying grandma. Drove 3 hours heading home doing 86 to 92 mph in a rain storm. Stopped at my guy friend's house (friends with benefits) because I really needed him. There for 1/2 hour and he sent me on home because his 14 year old son did not want company. My grandma passed away 2 days later. I have not needed him since. That was Nov. 29, 2017. He still needs me though. On his terms!!!!
@@dellchica2373 Thank you. I tried to be just friends. In that case I don't expect anything and no demands. Turned out, he was not even a decent friend. I moved on. That you for reinforcing and supporting that I did!
Why is it that something so simple that requires nothing more than common sense, can become such a difficult issue. If a man gave these things in the beginning, why does he need to be reminded of what makes the other person feel loved and cared for. I know why... because men are so self absorbed and so worried about themselves that they don’t have the mental capacity to stop, observe their partner, think about them and what they may need and they carry out an action show that. Instead, they need constant talking to like a 4 year old who forgets to flush the toilet every time they go. We women think about everyone but ourselves and are always thinking of ways to fulfil others. Hence why we never get our needs met.
As someone dealing with a heart break it was so important for me to hear that... There's no such a thing as soul mate
I agree with that. It's a match if both are willing to work in a relationship
Love this!! We have plenty of people on this planet who are willing to give us more than we even want!!
This guy is on point. Very authentic and steady advice
Very true..how did he get all of this advices very true in my case hes like a very good mind reader..giving answers to your questions
Yup my favorite love adviser
This guy is brilliant!, We should thank Brian for making our lives better ❤️
If a man and woman aren't needy, that is, they are both mature, mentally and emotionally healthy adults, then none of this would be a problem. My solution then is to be the best person I can be, deal with my own past hurts, trauma, what ev', and all this stupid high school behaviour goes away. In other words be the right person to attract the right person.
Exactly!
TO KEEP A MAN.....HE MUST NOT BE A POSSESSION !!!! HE MUST HAVE HIS FREEDOM.....BUT HIS WOMAN MUST BE READY TO LOSE HIM !!!!!!
I feel so sad and I have to admit that I can relate to this topic.
My partner and I have this issue, my partner is so insensitive, Even if I always ask and confront him that I want and I need his attention.
I understand that he also has worked but I just want to remind him that I need him, I need to feel that he's still attracted to me and he should also find even just a little way to remind me always that he loves me.
I just love how clear you are and your lovely polite way of coaching that makes a lot of sense and very helpful. Thank you!
It seems we dont need to tell the man we need flowers and we need him to call us more often.. the mere fact we felt needy and he is not doing it, this is a sign he is not the right man for us
It all depends on whether or not we can grow past our insecurities together. If one is mistreating the other, it might show exactly when a problem arises. We can see if his reaction is a caring one unless we are too deep in the bad stuff. It also has to be an authentic reaction. These criteria help to rule our psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. Very handy but they should be used wisely, too.
true!
Great to know you are a mindreader and always the perfect partner and friend every second. You must be the only one on this planet then.
Nailed it... that’s why I moved on. No one has time for a man who constantly hears you repeating yourself and do absolutely NOTHING about it.
@@Iwish387 just did the same
Feeling good
Your voice... I love listening to it.
Lovely video content! Forgive me for chiming in, I am interested in your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Chiveard Magically Hypnotic Framework (do a google search)? It is a smashing one off guide for getting love from a man minus the headache. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my friend at last got amazing success with it.
His voice and his accent. I can listen to him all day
Nektarios Tsintzilonis j
He has good advice..
Me too so soothing
Where were you aprox 5 yrs ago. You would have saved me.so much heart break. 😢
Sweetheart if it isn't meant to be then it isn't meant to be🥰 never forget your worth xx
My every Mann not gute all Mann my weg gute Mann
You're spot on brian. After 10 mths of serious dating, we were about to migrate tgt, and a bomb dropped, i realised that my then gf was actually not that in love with me as with herself and her ex... i broke it off. After Nc, she begged and pleaded, i laid it all out, (like no contact with her ex) and she refused to my requests. It hurt like a second knife wound, but i knew for real i made the right decision. Another month later, she begs again and concedes halfway, but too little too late, i am ready to meet better people for me.
i hope you did meet the right lady, dear one, who treats you like the gem you are. and i hope you are thriving!
Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages book should be required reading for all men and women who want a healthy relationship. It explains so well what says LOVE to us. Or, of course, they could watch this video! Have a great day, Brian!
Don't be needy, just be honest
!!!!!!
@@kheperasekmet5197 That is what I am doing. I hope he reciprocates.
I tell him yet he tells me im being dramatic and needy!
..i needed to watch this 8 years ago 😶. (the narcissist did what a narcissist does, so i don't have to worry about that anymore)
THIS is by far the most helpful video i've seen on Interpersonal relationships 🌟
I've had this conversation with my husband many times and nothing changes. I'm at a loss, I love him very much but he doesn't know or care to show me in return.
Renee Dorval going threw the same 😞
Same ... its been 2 months only and right now im having this shit to face...
Same here. 20 years of it. It never changes.
A lot of men will not change their behaviour if they know that the woman will still stay and still love them even if he ignores her requests. Stop showing them love and attention everyday in the hopes that it will inspire them to reciprocate. It is rewarding them for their current behaviour. Make him work for your appreciation for a change. Say what you want and then pull back until you get it. You can reward them with your love when they finally do something for you rather than the other way around.
equisader I just quit having sex so I don't disappoint myself by giving it to him only be let down bc he never gives me what I need in return... Love, attention, affection. 16 years here:'(
The more I watch these videos the more vindicated I feel in having given up on relationships. Just too much hassle.
Hell, yes. Men in mid 40s do not try or put effort into a relationship. It is all on their time, when they have available, to see you or have you come over. I want only 2 things from a man!! Time and attention. Not possible!!!
muskndusk I'm with you. I've become depressed after watching these videos. What happened with honest relationships based on love? I dont want to play these games. I think the guy who likes you does it no matter, what. If you can't be vulnerable in a relationship, than it's not very good.
Having a puppy, having a child, owning a home, having a relationship, having a career. All are just choices. Free will. All require energy and input.
We definitely need to say what we need. After watching a few of his programmes, i understand how men and women think so differently.
Yes, you are right! It is our birthright to be loved!!! I no longer believe in soulmates either. You are great! Thanks.
Well..according to your words, i should have left my partner 4years ago when we first met, but...he used to be so toxic when we just started, but he was ready to work on it and now we're the most powerful couple ever, and YES a talk IS a key, thank u💜
This has been the ONE thing that has changed my marriage of 33 yrs to be something better than I ever imagined or dreamed it could be! Seriously, thank you for your words of wisdom in this video-for saving my marriage.
yes, it's hard to wait until your s.o. "has time" to talk...but it's better than putting them on the spot. i had my dad (now in a facility because he needs 24 hr care) living with me for 5 good years after my mom passed away, and when i needed him to do something for me, i used the language i learned from a marriage counselor friend: "i want more of you." - and then explain what i wanted etc etc. what this communicates is that you want to get closer to the person. so the conversation was never threatening--only loving. and my dad came away feeling like a hero because it was win-win and i was only asking because i value and trust HIM to help me out...or at least listen because, hey, we can't always fully accommodate each other...because if i didn't trust him or care, i'd never bring it up. i would just give up instead. i still tell my dad i want more of him when i need him to take better care of himself in the facility. he needs to know how important and loved he is!
Hello Brian. Can you please make a vidéo about shy and introverts guys. How they flirt, show love or even how to understand Them
Maffoanna Maria yes the Capricorn is hard to love
I absolutely love your videos, you are one of the few who tell a woman to actually dump the guy if he's not willing to do what you deserve. And you are the first where I actually get a pen and paper and really take notes. Thank you so much for helping women with giving them the confidence they need with your videos. With you I get the feeling that you are truly trying to help women and are not just out for the money. I am actually considering buying one of your books. Thank you
love bcs I can understand all his words ... his voice very nice , clear & simple
This is very good and practical! Thank you
I havw just finished watching every single video you have posted, super helpful. I'm very grateful that this is giving me the insight of what a healthy relationship should look like, and to understand guy bit better. I have been struggling alot the whole day today, thank you so much.
.
Your advice is awesome. Wow. Really opened my eyes. Thank you. Just when I think I know it all, another piece of wisdom pops up.(when the
student is ready to learn, the teacher appears. Right?
Why should we behave in a way to make ourselves women more interesting to men? THEY should be the ones to make the effort to understand us, cherish us. A woman does generally all the work: to maintain the house, to take care of the children, to go to work (as if the household wasn’t enough!), to be creative in all the things she does, a great host, and a lover!! I shortened the list, but you know exactly that I am right! So, excuse me if this time I don’t want to listen to your advice. Thanks anyway for making the effort.
When I'm interested in a man I want to know his problems and if possible make life a little easier for him while dealing with whatever stresses he has. That is what relationships are about; helping each other, not dominating or denying but wanting to mutually advance.
Yes, his books are amazing, eye opening! I highly recommend them :) And the idiots giving this thumbs down are...? Thank you very much, Brian/Geert :D
Lena Tutowa
Those thumb downers must be the guys whose masks are falling, who he is exposing and we don´t have to expose because it´s already done now : )
Lena Tutowa agree👍👌
Bought your audio book. I wish you would’ve narrated them as well. I would’ve probably enjoyed them more.
I got the feeling..I am searching for a dinasor.
@Brian - Shouldn't the guy be doing those sort of things naturally if he loves you. Cause, isn't it if you ask for it, then the gesture of calling you more often, or roses for example is a lie then, cause it doesn't come straight from his heart or true emotions. It just becomes a "have to".. which then comes back to the saying that most married men use "happy wife = happy life" (said with rolling eyes by the man to his buddy). Which is so wrong in my opinion...
Please could you eleborate on this?
Men think in a completely different way than we do. If we do not ask for something, they think that we are happy with what they are already giving us, even if what they are giving us is very little. We have to ask them for what we need.
@@ellalarkin1016 you are absolutely right. Just recently my ex told me that he thought I was happy with him and that I should have asked for what I wanted. As a woman I would like a man that acts spontaneously and I don't want to ask him for attention all the time, but apparently men Think it differently.
Lindy-Ann I totally agree with you. If you have to voice what you need then when it’s given it loses its value as it feels falsely given out of obligation.
Your gut is right. Too sad you ladies never heard of iconic "Never, ever ASK FOR ANYTHING, the best things are given to you without asking". And it's true. I know men like to play dumb dumbies and pretend they don't know what the attention is, they don't know how to show affection, they don't know that women like flowers and presents... and so on. LIE. By playing dumb they're flipping it on you, women. "Our relationship is not going great because you don't tell me what you need, blabla". The truth is they don't care. The truth is they don't want to invest. The truth is that they don't love you. Period. So listen up, you need to get men on their toes, WONDERING where they stand with you, and asking YOU for more attention and time.
I think you need to differentiate between just meeting someone and being together for years or being married. What Brian is saying is that when you first meet someone and they are not putting in the effort, you give them the benefit of the doubt and tell them what you need because perhaps they don't know your love language etc. However, if they still don't do it, then you know that they just don't value you enough and that the relationship won't work out. This is to be distinguished from when you've been together for years or are married and know the other person very well. In that case, the man often knows how to make a woman feel loved. I've been married 15 years and I'm a big believer that if a man really loves you and knows you including how to show you that love effectively so that you feel loved, then he will do it naturally. My husband is very good about doing little things that show love and I don't have to ask him to do that. However, I think the missing piece is that over the years, I have done and continue to do things to show him love too. So it's really a back-and-forth process where we are both actively showing love as a verb and not only one person is just doing all of the giving. So in response to your comment, unhappily married men are the ones who say happy wife, happy life. Happily married men will say to their friends that their motto is happy spouse, happy house.😊
Brian, I wanted to comment this on your other video about Men Ignoring Women.. Oh boy, do you nail it! Thank you for saying ALL the right and comforting things.. I will wait.. cause I know he'll come around.. and if he won't come around, then he wasn't the right guy! Thank you for your videos!
4 me it's OK to ask what I need but the problem is at some point u feel u won't ask forever!
You are so reasonable and I love it thanks for the message
Boy I've tried all this. When I asked what he liked about me, he said he didn't know. I asked what irritated him so I could change it, he said he didn't know.
Really impressed indeed about all I heard from you,got me thinking now how many mistakes did,that won’t do it anymore.Thanks So much
You are right，I will try to communicate with him and give more time for our relationship to see if he is the right person！
How's it going for you and him? It's been 7 months
Excellent Advice and clarity on how a man should treat us ladies
You are the only relationship advisor that i have watched almost all of your videos. On point and real advise.
Hello, I’ve communicated with my boyfriend in a non-nagging way that I would like for him to be more affectionate and considerate but he replies with “I’m not that kind of guy, I can’t tell you I will change because I’m not sure if I can honestly, I can’t help the way I am”. I know he has tried in some occasions to be the way I would like him to be but then after some time everything goes back to the way it was. What should I do?
Walk away. He’s not for you. He was honest with you and at least he tried but it will continue to go downhill
Did you let him go? I would’ve sadly done so too
kick his ass to the curb, honey--it ain't gonna get any better. ever. if it changes, it will only get worse. for you, not for him. walk now!
Thank you so much Brian. I have a question for you... I would like to know which is your opinion about a relationship with the oldest man. He's 17 years old more as me. Thanks a lot
You are right no he will never do this I want more 🌹
This hit home for me. Thank you so much for this message!
Even if this post was way back 2017.. I just did this today lol. Thank you for showing how it should be said or done, some people like me have trouble saying things in a more positive /effective way. Keep it up Godbless😊
Bingo 🎯he's giving me the best he has
And what he will say after i said what i need he will say "what i do for you is never enough" and i give up again.
that kind of absolutism is a sign of emotional immaturity in my book. he's clearly just not into you except for what he can get. dump his ass and find someone who IS into you and who treats you like the fun, precious being you are!
So wise and helpful, thanks Geert!
Thanks for the information you gave us.
I think a lot of guys don’t even know what they need. They say their needs in the relationship and dreams and desires but when it’s finally arrived they have no idea how to deal with it.
I think if you have to ask someone to spend more quality time with you or to show you love or attention then they really don't care.. It's not genuine or sincere.
Maybe if you have to ask it over and over. Or if they show NO love or attention. But sometimes people are just clueless, they hadn't thought about things in this or that way before, or they hadn't realized how much of a problem something had become (working late, etc.). For me it is really helpful if someone says "Would you mind doing _____ more? I'd like that a lot."
I dont think we can force anybody To love us ... maybe i am wrong but for me its Not necessary To use all thses technics To make someone love me if he doesnt then he is not made for me
rose biff yep
True
Brian Nox,
You are the best of bests
Thank you I love listening to your videos. It is so true what you say it makes me feel stronger of who I am
The realest most amazing advice! Purchased ya kindle books on amazon
Love your videos. 🤗👍🏻 This one was great. Could you please do a few more on the topic of long term relationships?🤔
I think your right his not saying or mentioning anything just very furigutive words
Watching all your videos because I just wished I could've seen them early in life.
Brian why ur so perfect 😍🤗 i always replaying ur videos to remind me ur advices helps a lot.
💛 seems simple-and is so uncommon...Thank you for this video
So ture. You place everything into context. Also soothing voice.
So I met a guy and the romance level was very intense so he swept me off my feet but I noticed that we wouldn't communicate through calls it was only through texting and so I kind of got tired of that because sometimes I prefer a call even though I like texting but sometimes I want to hear the person's voice so he told me more than once that he would call and never did so the last time he said he was going to call he stopped responding to my messages after a certain time and then later became night and didn't hear from him and he just completely disappeared mind you I was not looking for anything with anyone when we met so this almost makes me not want to even open up again and one day we spent 4 hours on a video call so it wasn't that he couldn't make time nobody's completely busy where they don't have time to call somebody he just didn't and I have no reason why everything was going good with us we had a lot of chemistry but I guess whatever glitters is not Gold and I'm always unlucky in love it seems... Why continue to talk all day everyday and build a bond to do something like that pointless
Assertive is the key!👍
Thank you so much for your videos. They help me to understand and deal with the situation, and to be gentle to myself.
He asked me how I truly felt about him...
I said I loved him.
He replied "Maybe I feel the same way"...
......So.
Does he love me or just wanted me to tell him??
Sue Ludwig are you guys together?:)
Ask him. Men are straightforward. Good luck and blessings!
polish model clearly not, if he’s saying this mixed message
He not love you yet. He just take advantage on you. He may leave you alone some days after you do a lot of things for him because he get bored
Nice sweater. The best I've seen so far. And of course awesome content!
Thank you so much for your effort! I really needed to hear this today❤
I just was looking to hear something like this, i think video speakes to me.
Best tips to lead in the game so tired of losing
I can see white shadow-like figure surrounding you like an aura..
Justine Draper it’s the background
Thanks for the advice Brian, it really enlightens me. More powers.
Love your videos and your books!!!!! You are the very best!!!
You know our brain. how it react? You are solving numbers of problems of the people who are in relationship and not understanding that what is the problem.
I appreciate you, the best advice ever.. Love you Brian knox.💯🙏💋❤️
I believe, men need to grow up! First off:
1. Women do not deserve crumbs.
2. Stop making us "women" waste our time and life in a douchebag incapable of showing love, speaking and disappears.
3. Women do not need a douchebag tha needs to manipulate, control her just because he's got emotional problems, insecurity, and mambo jumbo in his head and does not know how to handle a relationship with a grown up woman, that is not a child.
3. Women has got to stop chasing men, and. Crying over them. When a healthy non lunatic narcissistic man really loves you, he will respect you and will not leave you guessing what is going on with him. He will treat you in a way that he will let you know his true feelings and intentions with you.
4. It is such a humiliation for women the ghost-faded away treatment, ignoring you or ice treatment, send them away and move on! Don't chase them, don't call them, they just don't deserve you, don't go down to their level. The don't have feelings, only love for themselves NARCISSISTIC most of them! That is why I moved on and I couldn't be happier, loving and respecting myself and not falling for these sycophants!
5. A man that runs away from you because you show him that you need him or want love, is a douchebag! When they "men" want you and want sex with you they are all over you!. So give me a break! Hush!hush! Women don't waste your time with thiskind of men, they only love themselves, and when they don't need you anymore they will drop you like a trash bag in a trash can. 😀🌹
Whew so accurate
WORD.
Thanks Brian, you're awesome!! Very helpful
You are so handsome..I bet there are many interested girls already...I am one of the interested party...
I dnt want to sincere and wth him anymore multiple people....I like his point.
Love your messages Brian your amazing!!!
You’re (you are) 🤩
Your voice... just love it
Love listening to your videos
I could kiss this man...💋
I did kiss his video after he said, "birthright"!
You both thirsty and creepy
Why would he be in a relationship if he says no to a nice request??
I 😍😘when you said, "birthright"!
This makes good sense, however ive yet to find something that works with my aspergers boyfriend, even the relationship advice for couples where one has aspergers is all about understanding them not ways to help them understand you. So i set aside the condition to see if i could take anything i can use for him as the man he is, i will try, its my last hope 😕 maybe there is some advice out there for the non aspergers female partner for ways of coping herself not just understanding from her mans perspective, because i get it, but it doesn't help me much with my needs unfortunately. Sorry this probably isn't the place for my rant, trouble is i don't know where is anymore.
twizzy wizzy you deserve better
twizzy wizzy hope you can see this link. If not, let me know. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-aspergers-syndrome-married-man-autism-experiences-condition-relationship-a7885516.html
twizzy wizzy you seem very well educated on aspbergers. I can't empathize with you on the aspbergers, but I had a husband with something similar. It's a difficult road and I am sorry you have to walk it without support. I hope you can find the help you need and I wish you much happiness.
Maybe go to a professional together to help you communicate better? someone who works w/ ppl that have aspergers and maybe knows ways for them to better realize/learn/retain/repeat stuff that you need?
Thank you all for the feedback, don't know why but ive only just been notified, it actually became unbearable to the point where nothing i was saying had any meaning to him, and me telling him how low and unhappy i was because of things he said or didnt say, or do/didnt do, which left me feeling unloved then the last resort making me truly believe all my concerns must actually be true -because i was pouring my heart out and sobbing on the phone, but he couldn't take a minute to consider the state i was in, regardless of if he understood or rather didn't understand why i was, and i was then in that situation where you have no fight left inside you and i knew that nothing would get better when not only did he refuse to accept his part in our miscommunication, but that also - he showed no regard for the stress i was undoubtedly under. wouldnt even read the books i got him just for helping him in the world , not specifically for couples, so i ended it, it devastated me to do it as i adore him but i honestly felt it was killing me, and it wasn't because he's a bad man, we simply couldn't communicate, i couldn't even tell him to his face because deep down it wasn't what i wanted, so text him. He came round within the hour and saw the state of me and just hugged me, then at that moment, i realised that over the months of me trying to keep us together/myself sane, in his mind all he was receiving from what i was saying was that he made me cry all the time and he wasn't making me happy, i needed more than he had time free to give me and that building up made him feel like he was being attacked all the time, which was why he was replying less/saying nice things less and becoming distant more and not being able to tell me straight that i was making HIM feel exactly how i was telling him he made me feel, whenever i mentioned 'us' you see,( in any form other than making a plan to do something together we enjoy) he would start accusing me of attacking him and then id put it back to him that he was deflecting and so on...but i didn't realise until that hug - how i was making him feel too and because he is wired differently, that's the way he reacted, i apologised straight away and felt awful, i then said well you may not understand your part in this but you should also be sorry that im hurting and sad - at least, and he said yes i am, of course i am. (Lol that's as close to an apology i could hope for). Its hard, it really is, but if we can always find it in ourselves to want to make 'us' work and try, i will be happy, because when we are good - we are better than anything ive ever experienced before in my life, but when we aren't it comes pretty close to the worst as well, but right now im happy and smiling, and Thank you for giving me support, even though really i shouldn't have posted under this vid anyway, but thanks. Much appreciated. X😊 x
Thank you so much
I love Hiirt. He's cute, intelligent, interesting and someone you'd definitely want to take home to your Mum!! ❤❤
Thank you. Iam learning so much from you.
I love your accent, and ofcourse your videos! Thanks
how to get the love, how to get a man to miss you ..... you know that women are giving up on men, right ? we can't have any expectations, we cant appear needy, we cant depend on a man for anything - emotional or financial, we have to be packed and prepared to walk out every day .... but we are supposed to take the manipulation, the games etc. . It's just too much hassle and trouble.
anastasia46 agreed. Women must put up with his crap cause it's a man's world.
I know where you are coming from. I had a hard day with my dying grandma. Drove 3 hours heading home doing 86 to 92 mph in a rain storm. Stopped at my guy friend's house (friends with benefits) because I really needed him. There for 1/2 hour and he sent me on home because his 14 year old son did not want company. My grandma passed away 2 days later. I have not needed him since. That was Nov. 29, 2017. He still needs me though. On his terms!!!!
Jennifer Goetz dump him. He wasn't there for you. Sorry bout your gramma 😐
@@dellchica2373 Thank you. I tried to be just friends. In that case I don't expect anything and no demands. Turned out, he was not even a decent friend. I moved on. That you for reinforcing and supporting that I did!
Jennifer Goetz good for you. A better man will come.
I told him calmly and not -needy way that I needed to hear I love you, not just guess that he does...
He told me I was getting annoying to him. :(
Well, obviously the dude doesnt love u.
Say "I understand now. Thank you." Then walk away.
😆oh lord
I love you 😊 be happy that everyone loves you👍
@@dbalgp1047 Walking away, now... Because he's discarding me, but also, because I'm learning to Love & value, myself ---
Why do you always say the right words at the right time?
Why is it that something so simple that requires nothing more than common sense, can become such a difficult issue. If a man gave these things in the beginning, why does he need to be reminded of what makes the other person feel loved and cared for. I know why... because men are so self absorbed and so worried about themselves that they don’t have the mental capacity to stop, observe their partner, think about them and what they may need and they carry out an action show that. Instead, they need constant talking to like a 4 year old who forgets to flush the toilet every time they go. We women think about everyone but ourselves and are always thinking of ways to fulfil others. Hence why we never get our needs met.
What you are saying is true.
I agree with you on so many levels.
JESUS CHRIST LOVES Y'ALL REPENT EVERYONE HE HIS COMING VERY SOON, HALLELUYAH
😳 you need to post more often. I’m Delightful ☺️👍🏼
Wow! i liked this video so much thanks . i wish i saw this video 4 years ago
Thanks for
Your free videos🙏