Cthulhu: Wait, You wanted to conquer Earth? *evil chuckle* Oh, You poor, poor fools. Xenos: Pardon? Cthulhu: Not only is Earth of great interest of me and my siblings, but we had a little deal with Humanity, they helped our followers in a war and we granted them godlike abilities in return. Xenos: What!? Cthulhu: I mean, we made it so most of them forgot all about it, but from time to time... an individual that does wield the power is born. For example, the one they call Chuck Norris. You were very lucky to not run into him. Through, luck is relative, as You did end up in our hands.
Courtesy costs you patience; this is why so many have such trouble with it. Practice increases one's efficiency. Too many still don't want to expend the effort, not realizing the return far exceeds the outlay.
Yep played that right. Even when he thought not being noticed he tried to avoid getting in way. Found a quiet spot, asked, offered to move if in wrong place, said he would leave if not wanted. Plus the radio message. How could you not respond to that? At start the tourist junk seemed feeble. But he explained why.
Xeno: "I am Kak of the Raks. And you will surrendur to our overwhelming fleet!" Human: Your Raks species no longer exists. Next. Xeno: "How dare you! I am Tong of the Qongs and YOU will surrendur to MY overwhelming fleet." Human: Your Qongs no longer exists. Next. Xeno: "uhm... I am Meng of the Hengs. Uh, please ignore my war fleet. We just came to open trade negotiations." Human: Cool. Customs office is over there. One of our diplomats wlll be over shortly.
But you can actually catch wasps with vinegar...not sure how that helps (well, it's a good tip for summer in keeping wasp numbers down if you put vinegar in a modified 2L Coke bottle wasp trap). But I'm not sure how it impacts the pathos of the allegorical flies and honey.
The ultimate method of dealing with bullies. Just ignore them to the point where even if they get angry and attack they hit... nothing. I can see exactly why this was crazy enough to work.
@@z3r0t0l3r4ns Teachers in schools use that thinking all the time. And it's dead wrong, it'll just make them step up their attempts and/or get others in on it. The only people who think like that were never bullied themselves. Just as useless as the advice of "It takes two to fight, just walk away" cause that doesn't work either, it's just turning your back on someone hostile.
I've been a salesman by trade for most of my life. This story is on the money. One of the keys to success is learing to say "please & thank you" and the liberal application of "Sirs, Ma'am, & honorific titles"...
Give yourself a pat on the back Agro! You did a great and humorous job narrating and picked a story that should prove to the rest of the authors that you don't need to cram an entire dictionary complete with thesaurus down the audiences ear holes to make a great story! Too many of these authors out there seem to be trying to prove to everybody how dictionary intelligent they are when in reality they're just boring the crap out of well, me anyway. Please keep up the good work, thank you!😊
I totally get you. Hfy tends to overindulge in explanations to the point it can go well past necessary or prudent detail and context into long winded technobabble or a whole page of the same philosophical concept or idea explained over and over to hammer the “humans are different” angle.
Thanks for the story! I liked it. I'm in my mid-60s and have found over the course of my life that being polite and civil almost always paysoff. The exceptions were a few Karens, some bullying jerks, and someone who went on to marry a relative. Needless to say, it wasn't a happy marriage. They went through several breakups and would have eventually divorced, but the jerk got terminal cancer. My relative took care of the jerk through that trying time. Prior to the marriage, I had been living with that relative and had been friendly toward the jerk, who was also friendly toward me to my face. When I wasn't around, the jerk bad mouthed me to my relative, which led to my eventually being homeless for a while. I eventually learned that the jerk had some mental health issue. That may explain the atrocious behavior, but that doesn't excuse bad mouthing me to the point of being made homeless. I still had to see this person occasionally at family functions. I didn't want to ruin these events for everyone else, so I kept polite and civil, but hung out with others and mostly avoided the jerk. I am glad that I never messed up those events. Besides, everyone knew what the jerk had done and were only being polite because the jerk was married to my relative. Go with 0olite and civil as much as possible. It works well most of the time.😊
It still amazes me, after all this time, how few people realize that just the occasional Sir or Ma'am can make a world of difference when dealing with some folks. That being said, I still have occasion to fall back on "Don't be an asshole to me, otherwise I'll have to be an asshole back to you... and I'm much better at it."
Particularly nice considering the military applications of tech like that would make ships nigh invincible and defenses useless against our weapons. Despite this there was no show of force or any type of dick measuring. Instead we were just annoyed (probably having ran into a civilization or two before, who were equally dickish). Likely having already eliminated one or two such hostile empires we decided that it was likely that everyone were dicks and that there was really no point in destroying every one of them thus making us truly alone. Instead we installed some defenses and once protected. Just sighed when yet another set of dicks appeared, turned on the defense and went about their business, some what annoyed that yet another set of jerks are out there and reinforcing the idea that they are all jerks.
Great reading of a great story. Once again you show how far AI Generated or AI read stories have to go before they are worth anything. The Squirrel does it again.
If humanity wanted to win that war by killing all they needed to do was phase all of their stars out or better yet phase out half of their planets temporarily.
Nope this doesn’t sound like us…..maybe some trolls, but to many of us are down to clown with some aliens yow!……. Ok that ending makes much more sense.
Idk if this blue elf truly this, but simply by being the first one who cared enough to clear the incredibly low bar of asking Nicely, that he has secured his species future. Others will likely follow his example once they get the idea that please and thank you have more power than any weapon with humans around, but we won’t forget the first to actually want to be friends, the fact he opened with that is a big plus on my end as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were our closest alliance given how much we don’t want to be alone in the universe.
👏👏👏👏👏 Outstandingly endearing and entertaining story 😁 Greatly enjoyed it, and of course the 🐿️ was his ever exceptional self 💯 Keeping your health in our 🙏 🐿️
Oh this is wonderful👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Brilliant! Genius❣️And of course as I listen again (cuz the day you posted I watched) there’s MrSquirrel’s handsome face on the thumbnail! I also love the new red jacket but this was always perfect too. But lately all my fav narrator’s photos and readings which are so exquisite to watch, are missing?? Have we insulted him? I think they’ve recruited him to Hollywood. It was bound to happen with such amazing talent…. Maybe put his face in the corner everywhere, anyway? Even if can’t film live reading? Ok?👌🏽
yep, being polite is always a good idea. Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful RUclips algorithm demon, and get you the recognition you deserve.
Heh, everyone else was all thinking conquest...this guy was just polite and tried trade. Wonder how many others would be smacking their heads ( or the equivalent ) for not thinking of it first.
Kind of forgotten at the beginning, but the first-contact species had no problem whatsoever. Kind of a big clue. All the warmongers need a liberal application of the Clue-by-four.
You are soooo good👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Fabulous ❣️ Stories WONDERFUL too❣️❣️ Now becuz handsome man is visual in thumbnail others will be drawn faster quicker to listen to the richness, eloquence and thrilling story telling as well👏🏽👏🏽
The worst or best part of this, is that you dont need to hide where you are building your next weapon of destruction, you can do it where everyone can see and juste let them see what comming😂😂😂
Yeeeah... 🤔 Be polite can take you far. But the sentence lack its end "and carry a big gun". Be polite, but weak is the better way to be abused, and taken advantage by humans. Like our history prove it so strongly 😢 Fun little story ❤ Alway incredible how you give it life.
Than you for narrating my silliest scribbling ever :)
Thank you for writing it. It was a lot of fun!
One of the best.
Lovely little piece, thank you for shharing! 🌻
Krogan spirit in there for sure 😊
Lovely story thanks!
All I can say is please continue to scribble 😎
"They phased into the wrong universe."
Meanwhile in the Cthulhu dimension: FRESH MEAT!!!
Or W40K universe "xenos scum" 🤬☠️
Cthulhu: Wait, You wanted to conquer Earth? *evil chuckle* Oh, You poor, poor fools.
Xenos: Pardon?
Cthulhu: Not only is Earth of great interest of me and my siblings, but we had a little deal with Humanity, they helped our followers in a war and we granted them godlike abilities in return.
Xenos: What!?
Cthulhu: I mean, we made it so most of them forgot all about it, but from time to time... an individual that does wield the power is born. For example, the one they call Chuck Norris. You were very lucky to not run into him. Through, luck is relative, as You did end up in our hands.
@@ravenouself4181 damn, you have one hell of an imagination !!
BUT, i like it...
As a friend of mine once told me, "Courtesy costs you nothing."
And gains so much. One of the most underrated wisdoms
and words are like arrows, once shot they can not be taken back
Courtesy costs you patience; this is why so many have such trouble with it. Practice increases one's efficiency. Too many still don't want to expend the effort, not realizing the return far exceeds the outlay.
Humanity perfected Sun Zu’s greatest lesson… “The Greatest [sweetest] Victory is one that Requires No Battle”
Yep played that right. Even when he thought not being noticed he tried to avoid getting in way. Found a quiet spot, asked, offered to move if in wrong place, said he would leave if not wanted. Plus the radio message. How could you not respond to that?
At start the tourist junk seemed feeble. But he explained why.
Xeno: "I am Kak of the Raks. And you will surrendur to our overwhelming fleet!"
Human: Your Raks species no longer exists. Next.
Xeno: "How dare you! I am Tong of the Qongs and YOU will surrendur to MY overwhelming fleet."
Human: Your Qongs no longer exists. Next.
Xeno: "uhm... I am Meng of the Hengs. Uh, please ignore my war fleet. We just came to open trade negotiations."
Human: Cool. Customs office is over there. One of our diplomats wlll be over shortly.
Great story; Excellent narration! As the old saying goes... "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar!" LOL!!!
But you can actually catch wasps with vinegar...not sure how that helps (well, it's a good tip for summer in keeping wasp numbers down if you put vinegar in a modified 2L Coke bottle wasp trap).
But I'm not sure how it impacts the pathos of the allegorical flies and honey.
Yes but why would someone want a bunch of flies?
@@damagar8 maggot therapy? 🤷🏾♂️
also fruit flies.
@@bobdrooples also add dawn dish soap so they drown
The ultimate method of dealing with bullies. Just ignore them to the point where even if they get angry and attack they hit... nothing. I can see exactly why this was crazy enough to work.
Exactly. If the bully can't hurt you or get a rise out of you they will get bored quickly.
@@z3r0t0l3r4ns Teachers in schools use that thinking all the time. And it's dead wrong, it'll just make them step up their attempts and/or get others in on it. The only people who think like that were never bullied themselves. Just as useless as the advice of "It takes two to fight, just walk away" cause that doesn't work either, it's just turning your back on someone hostile.
Politeness and respect wins the day. Music seals the deal.
I thought this was going in a very different direction when I heard "New Hawaii." Thought we were gonna have a "Here comes the sun" moment.
Nah, the alien bullies weren't able to touch the boats.
My thought exactly: "DON'T touch the boats!"
Feels like it could be a series, nice starting premise.
An Alien shopkeeper's diary on New Hawaii. Sounds like something I would love.
I've been a salesman by trade for most of my life. This story is on the money. One of the keys to success is learing to say "please & thank you" and the liberal application of "Sirs, Ma'am, & honorific titles"...
Give yourself a pat on the back Agro! You did a great and humorous job narrating and picked a story that should prove to the rest of the authors that you don't need to cram an entire dictionary complete with thesaurus down the audiences ear holes to make a great story! Too many of these authors out there seem to be trying to prove to everybody how dictionary intelligent they are when in reality they're just boring the crap out of well, me anyway. Please keep up the good work, thank you!😊
I totally get you. Hfy tends to overindulge in explanations to the point it can go well past necessary or prudent detail and context into long winded technobabble or a whole page of the same philosophical concept or idea explained over and over to hammer the “humans are different” angle.
For the algorithm! "Be polite! Until it's time to NOT be polite!"
Good to see you're doing well, sir!
For the algorithm. These stories help me get through the work day by keeping the ADHD part of my brain entertained while i work.
The ultimate "Talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening" action. Love it.
Thanks for the story! I liked it. I'm in my mid-60s and have found over the course of my life that being polite and civil almost always paysoff. The exceptions were a few Karens, some bullying jerks, and someone who went on to marry a relative. Needless to say, it wasn't a happy marriage. They went through several breakups and would have eventually divorced, but the jerk got terminal cancer. My relative took care of the jerk through that trying time. Prior to the marriage, I had been living with that relative and had been friendly toward the jerk, who was also friendly toward me to my face. When I wasn't around, the jerk bad mouthed me to my relative, which led to my eventually being homeless for a while. I eventually learned that the jerk had some mental health issue. That may explain the atrocious behavior, but that doesn't excuse bad mouthing me to the point of being made homeless. I still had to see this person occasionally at family functions. I didn't want to ruin these events for everyone else, so I kept polite and civil, but hung out with others and mostly avoided the jerk. I am glad that I never messed up those events. Besides, everyone knew what the jerk had done and were only being polite because the jerk was married to my relative. Go with 0olite and civil as much as possible. It works well most of the time.😊
It still amazes me, after all this time, how few people realize that just the occasional Sir or Ma'am can make a world of difference when dealing with some folks.
That being said, I still have occasion to fall back on "Don't be an asshole to me, otherwise I'll have to be an asshole back to you... and I'm much better at it."
I love the idea that we'd just... Walkaway.
Particularly nice considering the military applications of tech like that would make ships nigh invincible and defenses useless against our weapons. Despite this there was no show of force or any type of dick measuring. Instead we were just annoyed (probably having ran into a civilization or two before, who were equally dickish). Likely having already eliminated one or two such hostile empires we decided that it was likely that everyone were dicks and that there was really no point in destroying every one of them thus making us truly alone. Instead we installed some defenses and once protected. Just sighed when yet another set of dicks appeared, turned on the defense and went about their business, some what annoyed that yet another set of jerks are out there and reinforcing the idea that they are all jerks.
Yes, please, thank you, you're welcome and asking (not demanding) permission will go a long way. Politeness smooths over many minor mistakes.
Great reading of a great story.
Once again you show how far AI Generated or AI read stories have to go before they are worth anything.
The Squirrel does it again.
indeed, being polite always has a better chance of opening doors.
This made me smile, thanks!
Music is probably a great way to not only start trade but friendship
If humanity wanted to win that war by killing all they needed to do was phase all of their stars out or better yet phase out half of their planets temporarily.
The last two stories have put a smile on me. Thanks
For the Narrator!!! For the Author!! For the Squirrel Crew! For the algorithm.
Nope this doesn’t sound like us…..maybe some trolls, but to many of us are down to clown with some aliens yow!…….
Ok that ending makes much more sense.
bet that hurt lol helps to open the door first before walking through.
Being polite is always a good way to start relations.
Saw "new hawaii"... knew shtf.
As a certain overweight electrician would say: "Don't touch our damn boats!"
_Here comes the sun_
Yeetus deeletus!
Awsome sauce that! Congratulations to the author and thank you argo for a great narration
Idk if this blue elf truly this, but simply by being the first one who cared enough to clear the incredibly low bar of asking Nicely, that he has secured his species future.
Others will likely follow his example once they get the idea that please and thank you have more power than any weapon with humans around, but we won’t forget the first to actually want to be friends, the fact he opened with that is a big plus on my end as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were our closest alliance given how much we don’t want to be alone in the universe.
👏👏👏👏👏
Outstandingly endearing and entertaining story 😁
Greatly enjoyed it, and of course the 🐿️ was his ever exceptional self 💯
Keeping your health in our 🙏 🐿️
Great story! A bit of politeness does go a long way to improving relationships.
Oh this is wonderful👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Brilliant! Genius❣️And of course as I listen again (cuz the day you posted I watched) there’s MrSquirrel’s handsome face on the thumbnail! I also love the new red jacket but this was always perfect too. But lately all my fav narrator’s photos and readings which are so exquisite to watch, are missing?? Have we insulted him? I think they’ve recruited him to Hollywood. It was bound to happen with such amazing talent…. Maybe put his face in the corner everywhere, anyway? Even if can’t film live reading? Ok?👌🏽
Well done Agro. Please accept this like and comment for your outstanding reading of one of my favorite newer HFY stories.
yep, being polite is always a good idea. Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful RUclips algorithm demon, and get you the recognition you deserve.
LOL Blue space elves
i love listening to you bro.
I loved this story. So … human
Thanks for the narration. And God bless
Enjoyed thank you ❤
Ha ! - “Bohemian Rhapsody” seals the deal again ! Freddie Mercury would be delighted
your the only person i can listen to read these no idea why but thanks
Heh, everyone else was all thinking conquest...this guy was just polite and tried trade. Wonder how many others would be smacking their heads ( or the equivalent ) for not thinking of it first.
Kind of forgotten at the beginning, but the first-contact species had no problem whatsoever. Kind of a big clue. All the warmongers need a liberal application of the Clue-by-four.
You are soooo good👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Fabulous ❣️
Stories WONDERFUL too❣️❣️
Now becuz handsome man is visual in thumbnail others will be drawn faster quicker to listen to the richness, eloquence and thrilling story telling as well👏🏽👏🏽
Loved it thank-you made my night.
I enjoy all of Agro Squirrel Narrates videos 😅
Truly enjoyable, thank you
Great story, love your voice, for the algorithm
Thank you for the reading
Oh man this made me all sorts of giddy and smiling at the end of it for the merchant alien.
you tricked me into thinking you were back
as usual you did excellent😃
hello and I enjoyed today's reading
Thank you for the video.
For the Squirrel
Simple politeness opens a LOT of doors!
This one is really good! Love it :D
I love this story thank you
That is going to be one very rich merchant.
For da skwerl
For the rythm that is algo
For the attack CATAPILIARS
For the algorithm 😀
The worst or best part of this, is that you dont need to hide where you are building your next weapon of destruction, you can do it where everyone can see and juste let them see what comming😂😂😂
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
All they had to do is ask nicely.
One of your best
Reminds me of when they did that in Stargate.😂
I love this story
Thank you.
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
Yeeeah... 🤔 Be polite can take you far. But the sentence lack its end "and carry a big gun".
Be polite, but weak is the better way to be abused, and taken advantage by humans. Like our history prove it so strongly 😢
Fun little story ❤ Alway incredible how you give it life.
You just have to be nice and have cool stuff.
A great story!
Politeness can go a long way
For the Agro-rythm!
Bravo Sir Encore Etc
Basic Courtesy can do wonders.
That one sounds like the start of an interesting story. I need to know if there is more to read??
4 D 🐿️ ❗❗
4 D author ❗
4 D algorithm
4 da AL GORE RHYTHM!
(does that guy dance?)
I liked that one
I like that, entire universe involved in a dong measuring contest; humans make contact with the polite guy who just wants to trade.
Manners are what keeps us civilized
i liked this story. i generally like anything you read. Always much better than those AI voices.
Hehe that was amusing
We just need a farmwhich playlist/RPG setting.
Just be friendly, it’s good.
love the "you're the first one to ask nicely" kind of stories
For the algorithm!
Farmwhich always good.😊
Alternative name for the story: the MGTOW strategy.
😂😂😂
Momma always said you catch more with honey
Bosss was Right, set it all up then trade Properly
Should have just phased the planets out from all the Xenos in the galaxy. Let them all die in space and then take over their planets.
Yo
200K
Manners getting rewarded???
This story could go places- outsider thru being nice explores & trades in the phase-shifted humanverse???
Survivor becomes a dungeon continues when?
when agro's health is in better order.
6th, 30 May 2024