The gamer in me gloated every moment of this. It's so well written that you can easily predict what she is going to do, long before she does it. Glorious melee combat!!!!
"Experience lad, you should learn to appreciate it!" This is one of those times where that statement has never been truer. I'm willing to bet JANE.SWANSON is a hardcore gamer.
I've played games in the past and had a few that ended like that. Just "where is everyone?...oh, it's over...wait, I won? I WON! YIPPIE!" Also: one of the scenes described reminds me of some of the demo players in TF2 getting to high ground.
This is a prime example of "if an old warrior had the body of a young one". Also a part of me imagined the smoke granades being shaped like duckies and going quack as they bounce.
Let me lay a little gamer wisdom out n you from an old gamer back in the glory days of Halo and TF2. The most important thing to know is personal skill will always beat meta. If your jumping into a game and you want to know the best way to top scoreboards, get the most kills, or just generally be better. Find out what people are complaining about the most. I can assure you is always something that forces them to slow down. Usually campers and rats. Speaking of, if you are not a fully grown child and are mature enough to sit still for more then 5 second. Be a rat to start out in the game. Play dirty, camp, cheat via exploits. Make it your goal to win by being the biggest cut throat scumbag in the server. You either become the king rat or you evolve your own play style. DO NOT TRY AND PLAY META! So many people lack the brain cells to understand that using meta weapons does not mean you will be better at the game! You will be miserable! Pros will eat you alive, campers will make you rage quit, and rats will make you uninstall the game all together. Never mess with meta, always start a game slow and work on getting a consistent 1 to 2 kills per life through unorthodox means before messing around with more main stream items
Ninja Vanish it sounds like she chose or built a ninja and using her own versions of stealth to hide and strike when she chooses and use of smoke grenades like smoke pellets of old, A great story and telling as always :)
The only strange thing about her build is how she so accurately targets her opponents with 0 ability to detect them so it seems... The author is making fun of us.
Probably hasnt realized no ones left me oh no she likely knows just how many are left that is a dominace stance the eqvilant of a taunt with out the taunt
I'm reminded of the line from "Starship Troopers" (the book, not the movie) that, paraphrased, said "if you load a soldier up with too much tech, an opponent will sneak up behind him while he's trying to read a screen & bash him in the head with a rock."
Robert A. Heinlein was a Great writer. The Original Book was great, still have my copy on my shelf, as well as a Kindle copy of it and as part of a Heinlein collection in Kindle again.
LOL, always like it when a story has intergalatic species as announcers. Especially for futuristic games and events. Never underestimate a 70 year old human woman. ;)
There was a seventy four year old known as Granny. Granny Gamer, and she ran through people with a combination of wholesome, totally out of pocket, and skill for days!
@@filin_fill1760 in a future eSports tournament, it would be a classic/ aged title. Not to mention the humans having a fondness for combat simulation, both realistic and fantastical
Unconventional build for win! Human winning with melee attack is so fitting. Thanks for finding and narrating this delightful story! For the Algorithm! For the Author! For the Narrator! For the Beard!
Very much an anti meta build The play style would likely only get sparse exploration as it relies on player ignorance to work Well unless the devs patch more options turn it into a demoknight situation
I don't know about anyone else but I see this becoming a series. I want more author, please follow through with it. I can see it as a comic or animated. It reminds me of the mutant league series.
Placeholder Comment because wee I'm first I think. Wow Love the ending although I think it might have been even MORE funny if they realized that she was spam taunting the only way she could, since her melee button hadn't been remapped as the taunt key XD
A clear example of why dismissing someone because of their age is a mistake, age means they have had time to get experienced and sneaky making them damn hard to beat
Reminds me of a line from a terry pratchett book " but their all old . Yes but their all old barbarian heros tell me have you ever heard of natural selection ? "
"Roll up and see the TERRIFYING Ripper with his blade! His magic knife will end your life Of one hit kills it's made He'll lunge right through your bullets And he'll stab you in the toe Then farewell to your controller Out the window it will go." Miracle of Sound - Call of Duty Circus
I'm such a nerd, I realized that after being engrossed after 13 minutes. Like it was my favorite football team. This was worse because when i watch football i don't Listen to the commentary. Yep,, such a nerd
Why am I imagining a 70 year old grandma cackling as she beats all these xenos with their high tech builds while she just has the very basic equipment? …I can even imagine her grandkids being both amused and slightly terrified at how good she is 😂
Omfg im dying rn ty to the author and to you agro just made my night the last quip she doesn’t realize that there are no enemies left because she has no hud lol take that meta only gamers bwhahahaah unorthodox play wins the day
I couldn't imagine the fear of seeing all of your drones entering a smoke screen and then getting notifications that one by one they are meleed to death, your entire army gone without much of a fight.
Mr. Squirrel, looking dapper as ever. I need to know where that jacket if from though, if it's even from anything. At first I thought it was some 80's Dune Atreides... Then maybe rebel Star Wars. Hell even possibly a little death korps of Krieg. I don't know, but it's nice. I need more infomation, and more stories.
it's hard to be meta when you are not supported. remember she had a skill that nullified her explosive's damage to herself, it is very likely the grenades just one shot you. and people could only discover explosive jumping because the explosives didn't one shot you
Hey look, she beat everyone with a TF2 Trollger Market Garden Build! Edit: SpitfiretheKat just let me know this build would be closer to demoknight. Jane is just Demoman's mom with the tide turner.
The moment the announcer mentioned "the meta" I knew where this was going. Meta builds in any game tend to take a rock-paper-scissor approach where tactics considered non-viable are ignored as potential threats to guard against, meaning the stupidest tactics become meta-breakers.
As soon as they explained the safety perk i started cackling like a crone in an old Disney movie.
Legit same, the characters never saw the bomb-jump coming.
Grenade jumps are amazing
When soldier from tf2:
Rocket-jump!😂😂
And Grappling section made me think about Titanfall 2 Grapple ability
The gamer in me gloated every moment of this. It's so well written that you can easily predict what she is going to do, long before she does it. Glorious melee combat!!!!
"Experience lad, you should learn to appreciate it!"
This is one of those times where that statement has never been truer. I'm willing to bet JANE.SWANSON is a hardcore gamer.
I've played games in the past and had a few that ended like that. Just "where is everyone?...oh, it's over...wait, I won? I WON! YIPPIE!"
Also: one of the scenes described reminds me of some of the demo players in TF2 getting to high ground.
because it's pretty much explaining a sticky jump
Stickies are an inaccurate comparison instead the lock and load pill jumping
Even more accurately a hybrid knight in man power
THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. ITS A GRENADE JUMP!
This is a prime example of "if an old warrior had the body of a young one". Also a part of me imagined the smoke granades being shaped like duckies and going quack as they bounce.
Quack Bang out.
😅
@@Gilhelmi Exactly!
Grenade jump!! I love this author! All hail agro!
yeah, I'd watch that. Here is your like and comment as payment for the story and to help your channel grow and get you the recognition you deserve.
Gotta love the dex melee builds) Personally, I'll take that over the typical heavy armour + str melee any day.
Looks like a quality build over pure dex
@@siliciaveerah9327 Definitely. Well, that's why she's the champion :)
In a high electronic warfare environment, time to go analogue.
Let me lay a little gamer wisdom out n you from an old gamer back in the glory days of Halo and TF2.
The most important thing to know is personal skill will always beat meta. If your jumping into a game and you want to know the best way to top scoreboards, get the most kills, or just generally be better. Find out what people are complaining about the most. I can assure you is always something that forces them to slow down. Usually campers and rats.
Speaking of, if you are not a fully grown child and are mature enough to sit still for more then 5 second. Be a rat to start out in the game. Play dirty, camp, cheat via exploits. Make it your goal to win by being the biggest cut throat scumbag in the server.
You either become the king rat or you evolve your own play style.
DO NOT TRY AND PLAY META! So many people lack the brain cells to understand that using meta weapons does not mean you will be better at the game! You will be miserable! Pros will eat you alive, campers will make you rage quit, and rats will make you uninstall the game all together. Never mess with meta, always start a game slow and work on getting a consistent 1 to 2 kills per life through unorthodox means before messing around with more main stream items
Ninja Vanish it sounds like she chose or built a ninja and using her own versions of stealth to hide and strike when she chooses and use of smoke grenades like smoke pellets of old, A great story and telling as always :)
Thank you for the reading
Grenade boosting and a double jump. I just see Titanfall with a crazy armor kit.
Another great read
Your voice, and accents and acting add a lot to my enjoyment of the stories.
Now that was funny. ❤
She Spiderman'd the game.
Thanks!
My pleasure , thank you for the dono
At the end I thought that she was T-bagging or Dip Dip potato chip 😅
Nice!
Grandma with the sandal
You just know the devs are gonna have to patch in melee support before next season, now lmao!
The only strange thing about her build is how she so accurately targets her opponents with 0 ability to detect them so it seems...
The author is making fun of us.
Most of her opponents had just finished a fight so she was probably just sprinting towards the sound of gunshots.
She's using the good old Mark 1 Eyeball and Mark 1 Ear to find her opponents.
*crack* *sip* Now Quake 3, that was a good game.
Fuck yeah.
SOULSBORNE PLAYER SAYS WHAT?
Probably hasnt realized no ones left me oh no she likely knows just how many are left that is a dominace stance the eqvilant of a taunt with out the taunt
Grandma batman
Wow this one got me hyped lol loved this story and love your telling of it hope you have a good day
I'm reminded of the line from "Starship Troopers" (the book, not the movie) that, paraphrased, said "if you load a soldier up with too much tech, an opponent will sneak up behind him while he's trying to read a screen & bash him in the head with a rock."
Poorly designed technology can't help anyone. Tech is more then just guns and computers, it's Blades and Rope too.
Input overload - where the user spend more time staring at the screen instead of their surrounding.
Robert A. Heinlein was a Great writer.
The Original Book was great, still have my copy on my shelf, as well as a Kindle copy of it and as part of a Heinlein collection in Kindle again.
LOL, always like it when a story has intergalatic species as announcers. Especially for futuristic games and events. Never underestimate a 70 year old human woman. ;)
Probably an ex soldier who got the chance to act as in her prime years due to VR game stats, and she's loving it!
Especially one who has gone in for the Strength and Endurance upgrades! ;o)
There was a seventy four year old known as Granny. Granny Gamer, and she ran through people with a combination of wholesome, totally out of pocket, and skill for days!
Never, EVER underestimate a mean ol' lady.
Legends say she still hasn’t stopped smiling
One imagines Jane prepared for the tournament by playing retro games, like Doom Eternal.
The glory kill mechanic does seem to be similar to the doom series
I hate and absolutely adore at the same time the fact that you called Doom Eternal a retro game
@@filin_fill1760 in a future eSports tournament, it would be a classic/ aged title. Not to mention the humans having a fondness for combat simulation, both realistic and fantastical
Unconventional build for win! Human winning with melee attack is so fitting. Thanks for finding and narrating this delightful story!
For the Algorithm! For the Author! For the Narrator! For the Beard!
Remember! You'll be here forever.
nice to see that she turned her enemy's explosives against him. EOD would be proud of her.
I'm guessing she's retired EOD LOL
Thinking outside the Box can be very Dangerous, Especially if you know your enemy and Know how they think - the Poor Bastards never stood a chance
Sometimes just doing what has been done and proven for millennia is better than doing the new thing. Ex: this story
Very much an anti meta build
The play style would likely only get sparse exploration as it relies on player ignorance to work
Well unless the devs patch more options turn it into a demoknight situation
I don't know about anyone else but I see this becoming a series. I want more author, please follow through with it. I can see it as a comic or animated. It reminds me of the mutant league series.
I used to TTRPG with a guy that we all reckoned would be happiest with a force field and a sledgehammer.
Placeholder Comment because wee I'm first I think.
Wow Love the ending although I think it might have been even MORE funny if they realized that she was spam taunting the only way she could, since her melee button hadn't been remapped as the taunt key XD
you are
If it was the intention crouch punching would be more appropriate
Loocks like jane is a gamer from the 1995- 2000 s
Too much Doom Eternal.
Some Quake thrown in too :-)
A clear example of why dismissing someone because of their age is a mistake, age means they have had time to get experienced and sneaky making them damn hard to beat
Reminds me of a line from a terry pratchett book " but their all old . Yes but their all old barbarian heros tell me have you ever heard of natural selection ? "
@@antonfowler6582 "Beware the old man in a profession where men usually die young"
Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance. - David Mamet
"Roll up and see the TERRIFYING Ripper with his blade!
His magic knife will end your life
Of one hit kills it's made
He'll lunge right through your bullets
And he'll stab you in the toe
Then farewell to your controller
Out the window it will go."
Miracle of Sound - Call of Duty Circus
Ah a music lover of discriminating taste! Miracle of Sound is awesome!
Everybody gangster until demo knight rocket jumps across the map screaming gg ez
I'm such a nerd, I realized that after being engrossed after 13 minutes. Like it was my favorite football team. This was worse because when i watch football i don't Listen to the commentary. Yep,, such a nerd
That was absolutely fantastic!
Respect the old timers scrubs , we invented most of the tricks you take for granted.
Electronics is not always the best way to go. They can be fooled.
Why am I imagining a 70 year old grandma cackling as she beats all these xenos with their high tech builds while she just has the very basic equipment?
…I can even imagine her grandkids being both amused and slightly terrified at how good she is 😂
We remember you Granny Gamer! So cool, so sassy, so old! A brief moment in time when your ass could be handed to you by a 74yr old.
Omfg im dying rn ty to the author and to you agro just made my night the last quip she doesn’t realize that there are no enemies left because she has no hud lol take that meta only gamers bwhahahaah unorthodox play wins the day
I felt like i was watching hunt showdown and phantom crash mashup. Great stuff!
Haven't even listened to the story yet, but I want to complement the author on their name.
For the algorithm for the squirrel
Doom Slayer maxxing
I couldn't imagine the fear of seeing all of your drones entering a smoke screen and then getting notifications that one by one they are meleed to death, your entire army gone without much of a fight.
Wombsmasher... 🤣😂🤣😂🤣👍
Granny plays Titanfall or Apex I'll bet on it.
Nah, this is proper old-school FPS chaos: UT, Quake, and Doom type stuff.
I kept thinking fallout. So many people doing power armor heavy gun builds. Then you have that 1 person who does a stealth melee.
Greetings, Mentlegent!
For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
Everyone overspecialized in one direction, so she went the other.
This was hilarious 😂😂😂 wombsmasher 🤣🤣🤣
Before the video starts, I imagine humanity abused melee hitreg to a ridiculous degree: think tf2 hitreg and crit rate.
better hope it's not a team game xD
TF2 hitreg is wacky with allies
This story is a reminder that sometimes the best strategy and most advanced technology can't match up to a good old cocaine gorilla with an axe
"I am a Jane Swanson and I am a Boomer!"
Literally
Why it hasn't been seen is this is the first human to play
Two more seasons and the game will be dominated by humans while the aliens try to figure out what happened to their meta-builds.
:)
Great story; Excellent Narration!
Gun Gale online technically in the future :D :D :D
Some aliens bout to die for mocking gaming gandma’s
"I've got two guns right here!" _flexes_
This is an episode of sword art online season 2
For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!
Those guys never heard of a victory lap. LOL!
why did i imagine I_Rule getting his head chopped off with savagery equivalent to conan the barbarian and optimus prime ahahaha
I was hoping for a chainsaw but the devs haven't learned about those yet..
DEMOKNIGHT TF2
The aliens aren't exactly wrong about the "6 guns" better line.
Unless you’re going up against Jane Swanson apparently 😂
For the story!
For the author!
For the algorithm!
FOR THE EMBODIED VOICE!
Demoknight tf2, enough said
And if they think she's bad, wait till they see how crazy our actual soldiers are LOL
_Demoknight TF2_
*demoknight tf2*
Mr. Squirrel, looking dapper as ever. I need to know where that jacket if from though, if it's even from anything. At first I thought it was some 80's Dune Atreides... Then maybe rebel Star Wars. Hell even possibly a little death korps of Krieg. I don't know, but it's nice. I need more infomation, and more stories.
During one of the premieres he said it was an old military jacket he found, though I forget which military.
Hmmm looks like skyrim grandma got a new game
Pretty good story. Nice pick. Especially the ending.
Brilliant. Another fantastic choice. At first, I wondered if she was playing IRL but soon realised she was just winning gloriously.
When humans play war games we expect to play them for hours not 20/30 minutes
Thanks for the awesome content as always kinda hope theirs more HFY E Sports episodes lol this was surprisingly good
so THAT'S what you look like! you look good grampa!
Brilliant
Shit this is better than any action flick Disney or Marvel have pulled on the last 3 years.
Magnificent!
That was great!
This was awesome. I love this story. 😊
The granny is an egirl on twitch right now lol. 😂
Brilliant story and fantastic narration
BadAss. Also could you bring back First Contact?
I really liked this one!
i can't believe that rocket jumping wouldn't be meta in the future
it's hard to be meta when you are not supported.
remember she had a skill that nullified her explosive's damage to herself, it is very likely the grenades just one shot you.
and people could only discover explosive jumping because the explosives didn't one shot you
I only use me blade...
Many thanks for all you do
Good stuff
Damn funny story
Hey look, she beat everyone with a TF2 Trollger Market Garden Build!
Edit: SpitfiretheKat just let me know this build would be closer to demoknight.
Jane is just Demoman's mom with the tide turner.
naw that was 100% Demoman
@@SpitfiretheCat16Oh shit, you right
Damn that was good!
The moment the announcer mentioned "the meta" I knew where this was going. Meta builds in any game tend to take a rock-paper-scissor approach where tactics considered non-viable are ignored as potential threats to guard against, meaning the stupidest tactics become meta-breakers.
7th, 14 October 2023