the conversation about ego has been changing and evolving for years. we have such a better understanding now of the role our ego plays and how we must manage it. David is spot on, what a great man!
This is so different to the usual stories about ego, I think it's the first instance I've seen where someone has described their ego as the thing that fills them with self doubt and anxiety.
David, you are so gifted in saying how we all feel, and giving us hope that these feelings may be lies. Thank you for your wisdom and transparency. Keep it up!
“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.” ― John Lennon
Four ways to be in peace with my ego: 1. Figure out what my why is. 2. Train your mind (Reading the "10 Percent Happier" book is optional to achieve this). 3. Find areas in your life where you are at least one percent wrong. 4. Consciously choose what is going to consume curiosity all day. Your sparring partner is not trying to defeat you, the boxer. He is trying train you to be ready for the next boxing ring. Dance with your dragon, not slay it.
I always love hearing Gerber talk. His life talks are always inspiring and this man has transpired more than anyone I know. The most open and authentic person I have heard from
Very encouraging to see how shifting the way you view your ego can turn your ego from an enemy to a friend that sharpens you as iron sharpens iron! Thanks for sharing your heart, God bless.
Even if the brain convinces us there is evidence to put ourselves down, we must fight against that, talk back to that voice that we are enough and we have plenty to be grateful for. That's when I've found my ego to balance out. Excellent topic for a ted talk! I Love it.
I have been doing a lot of reading recently about how the ego actually can keep us safe at times and this talk definitely reiterated that. Keeping ourselves in check and holding ourselves accountable is what keeps the ego healthy I think. I really loved David's dragon explanation here. So good.
There is so much vulnerability here and I felt it in such a raw way. I could physically feel that shaking and the tears that are burning the edge of my eyes while standing there on a stage trying to deliver a message which means so much to me- all the while anticipating everyone to think ‘what are they on about?’. And he is there, giving this talk and pushing through and the message he is giving is just everything I needed to be reminded of. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerability and message. One day, I hope I can get up and challenge my fears too.
Wow what an opening, hearing the little cracks in his voice when he talks about his ego telling him he won't make it and that he's a fraud really affected me. I love that he was able to overcome all that self doubt and get to where he is now.
Oh I love this talk so much, the quote about dancing with our dragons is just a perfect analogy. Thank you David for this incredible perspective shift!
I'm not slaying, I'm not dancing - I'm making friends and getting to know the parts of me that are confronted by that which is out of my control. Understanding your ego and why it does what it does to keep you safe is so important - the ego is NOT BAD
“The greatest opportunities we have in life lie in areas that we’re currently wrong about.” This struck me from your talk today. What am I...what are you...currently wrong about? Are we open to being wrong? What opportunities are available if we are open to being wrong? Do we have to be open to being wrong about everything we believe? Are there times when life is just a multiple-choice question, and we chose the answer that we believe is MOST right? Is there anything we can be absolutely certain about? Just some questions running through my mind...
We have evolved so much since the conversation of Ego first started. The ego lets us know when we are confronted - and that we should probably dig a little deeper. The ego reminds us that we are human and are far from perfect, which means always digging deeper when it comes to things that make us uncomfortable.
Our ego is meant to keep us safe. And for those of us who are facing our weaknesses , the ego continues to be a friendly reminder of what we need most in our life to feel safe
I figured out the same thing by myself a few years ago it changed my life completely. Only now I have found this video. It is fascinating to see how people from different realities arrive at very similar conclusions when questioning their inner self, their essence, something that all mankind has in common. Be kind to yourself and speak the truth with him, be transparent and respectful because no matter what happens you will always have yourself.
Thank you, David, for courageously stepping into vulnerability with yourself. You're creating safe spaces for others to do the same and begin learning how to dance with their own dragons for the first time.
I was pretty intrigued by the title of this talk, I didn't think your ego was your enemy to begin with but after listening to David's journey I have a much better understanding oh what ego actually is!
I've come back to this a few times. It's very much in line with a few online psychologist that I subscribe to. Our ego is essentially our inner child trying to keep us safe, if we can have a relationship with our inner self that allows us to always feel safe - our ego is definitely always our friend.
Thanks for this talk. I didn’t see this before. I really loved the visualization of taking your ego to the airport. As you know, I once chewed out my ego, shouting at him at the beach to shut him up and put him in his place haha. It’s an invitation to revisit my ego in a new way…
I think it's really interesting all the different ways people interpret those facets of themselves, like the ego, props to this guy for figuring out a nice interpretation.
There are so many philosophies around ego and ego death but this is a lovely way of explaining what the true purpose of ego is and how to exercise it properly.
Yeah I agree! I was so sure the ego was a bad thing, something that needed to be dealt with in almost every interaction. I so appreciated David's talk!
Re-watching this today. Powerful. I'm coupling this with some work around self-compassion, and it is really impacting my ability to dance with my dragons. Well said, David!
The part about how the negativity and self doubt is designed to prepare you for what the world throws at you is an interesting one. On the one hand I can see how that's true and might be beneficial but on the other hand I don't know that anyone would ever be so harsh with you as you can be with yourself, because only YOU know about all the awful things you've done, said, and thought. That's why we can be tougher on ourselves than we ever would be with another person, and vice versa.
I feel like I have the opposite problem... like my ego is so over-confident that I think anything I'm going to do will be the most amazing thing anyone's ever done and then I get disappointed when I don't receive heaps of praise. But I still go on thinking that way...
I always thought ego was the voice that said you're better than other people or that made you get super offended by things that aren't really a big deal but this talk has made me realise there are so many other factors or self dialogues that your ego impacts. All the more reason to keep it in check!
“Your dragon’s aren’t for slaying, they are for dancing with”. I needed this today. I think that's a really important narrative to be reminded of, especially with all this new age understanding of the ego. Thank you David.
Finally someone laying down the honest truth about our Ego and how and why we manage it. At the end of the day we are still just surviving as a species and without our ego we wouldn't be able to do that.
I have been attempting to bring mindfulness practices into my every day life and there's something I've noticed when my ego is hurt, it's like a toddler version of me going "No! That's not fair!" I find asking myself questions in these cases leads me to a better response to the ego hurt.
Love this perspective on the ego you have expressed to the world, David! It seems that the ego is neither good or bad, rather something we all inevitably possess but should learn to dance with instead of suppressing! Really enjoyed hearing your story and appreciate your vulnerability :)
This is right on. I can totally relate and resonate with this. Imposter syndrome, knowing my ‘why’, dancing with my dragons.. Super valuable insight! I bought “10% Percent Happier” and I look forward to reading it.
the conversation about ego has been changing and evolving for years. we have such a better understanding now of the role our ego plays and how we must manage it. David is spot on, what a great man!
Yes I agree.
@@suebakernottly 👍
He is a philosopher of our time!
Thank you all for the kind words!
Such thought provoking idea!!
Your ego says, "I am not your opponent, I'm your partner"--what an awesome perspective! Your ego is your ADVOCATE! Yay!!!
or your enemy!
I wonder what other thing in our lives might be our advocates if we just perceived them that way?
LOVE this Gerber! Your dragons aren't for slaying, they're for dancing! Amazing buddy, congrats all the way!
Thanks Trezza!
love that line too!
Rare to see such authenticity and vulnerability in a Ted Talk! Well done David!
Thank you Mark! Appreciate your kind words.
Right? So great!
Agree!
100% Agree! ego gets a bad name and we need it.
Absolutely agree!
This is so different to the usual stories about ego, I think it's the first instance I've seen where someone has described their ego as the thing that fills them with self doubt and anxiety.
Hichem - thanks for taking the time to watch the video and glad you enjoyed it!
You are so right. This is a far cry from the usual approach.
Love the different perspective he provides…
David, you are so gifted in saying how we all feel, and giving us hope that these feelings may be lies. Thank you for your wisdom and transparency. Keep it up!
Thank you for your kind words Joyce! Glad the talk connected with you.
Totally agree!!
“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.”
― John Lennon
Love that quote Thao.
It's amazing how much positive change can come from just thinking of that voice a little differently. Thank you David for providing this for me.
I found that helpful too Dak.
Agreed!
Your vulnerability is inspiring, David! Love the JC reference. Way to samba with those dragons.
Samba! Love me some Joseph Campbell.
He is an absolute legend.
Love the JC ref too
Agreed!
I get choked up each time I watch this talk. Thank you for being real. Your pursuit to be the best is so beautiful, David.
That means a lot to me. Thanks for your kind words!
I think e's the best i've seen in a long time
Definitely agree
I love the authenticity in it. Definitely have watched a more than a couple times
Same! Just so powerful.
I have never thought of my ego in a positive way--what a wild pivot in my whole perspective. 😲Thank you for doing this Tedx!!
You are so welcome Melissa!
Same! Really enjoyed the story about a dragon name Ego. It has stuck with me to this day.
Joseph Campbell is an amazing inspiration of mine. I so often think of the hero’s journey- so much wisdom in his messages.
Thanks Shirley!
I agree!
David, this is a very smart and grounded way of looking at the ego and one I believe many philosophers would agree with.
Absolutely true
This is probably the best talk on overcoming that negative inner dialogue I've ever seen.
Ditto
I agree Raquel
Right? So good. Such a shared human experience.
Four ways to be in peace with my ego:
1. Figure out what my why is.
2. Train your mind (Reading the "10 Percent Happier" book is optional to achieve this).
3. Find areas in your life where you are at least one percent wrong.
4. Consciously choose what is going to consume curiosity all day.
Your sparring partner is not trying to defeat you, the boxer. He is trying train you to be ready for the next boxing ring. Dance with your dragon, not slay it.
Thank you Warren!
never even had this perspective cross my mind before, brilliant
I agree Leo.
I come back to this when I need some grounding. Thank you, David.
You are so welcome Shannon! Thanks for the kind words!
I always love hearing Gerber talk. His life talks are always inspiring and this man has transpired more than anyone I know. The most open and authentic person I have heard from
A very authentic guy! What you see is what you get!
I agree!
Very encouraging to see how shifting the way you view your ego can turn your ego from an enemy to a friend that sharpens you as iron sharpens iron! Thanks for sharing your heart, God bless.
Agreed!
Agreed!
Thought provoking, uplifting, positive and refreshing! Everything a tedx talk should be, thank you David.
Agree!
@@bethanypeer3206 I'm glad we are on the same page!
I thought so too. I feel so inspired.
Thank you so much. I'm honored.
Even if the brain convinces us there is evidence to put ourselves down, we must fight against that, talk back to that voice that we are enough and we have plenty to be grateful for. That's when I've found my ego to balance out. Excellent topic for a ted talk! I Love it.
Thank you Elise! Glad you enjoyed it!
@@davidgerber401 I just saw this now, thank you David!
you're totally right, David. we need to rethink how we interact with our egos.
Thank you Turk
I wish there were more wonderful people like David Gerber.
Thanks man.
Agreed Bojan!
Thank you Bojan. That means a lot.
Nor does it have to be a big scary monster inside your head! Well done David for such concise and valid points as to the truth of the matter!
You are so welcome!
True, we need ego to tell us we are enough and we can do it!
Agreed Mic!
I have been doing a lot of reading recently about how the ego actually can keep us safe at times and this talk definitely reiterated that. Keeping ourselves in check and holding ourselves accountable is what keeps the ego healthy I think. I really loved David's dragon explanation here. So good.
Thank you Enes! I am glad the talk resonated with what you are finding!
Agreed Enes - the explanation of the dragon is so helpful.
i like david's speech. plenty of thought provoking bits that made me question a lot of bs i've read over the years. well done.
Thanks for the kind thoughts Ted!
Me too Ted!
Beautiful message, David, Well done. Thank you for sharing & for your vulnerability.
Thanks for all of your help along the way. This wouldn't have happened without you and the team!
Agree!
There is so much vulnerability here and I felt it in such a raw way. I could physically feel that shaking and the tears that are burning the edge of my eyes while standing there on a stage trying to deliver a message which means so much to me- all the while anticipating everyone to think ‘what are they on about?’. And he is there, giving this talk and pushing through and the message he is giving is just everything I needed to be reminded of. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerability and message. One day, I hope I can get up and challenge my fears too.
I wish I could have that courage too. I am not comfortable being center stage
Thanks for the kind words Effie. It means more than you know!
@@Lulu-99 I hear you!
I can relate ☺️
Wow what an opening, hearing the little cracks in his voice when he talks about his ego telling him he won't make it and that he's a fraud really affected me. I love that he was able to overcome all that self doubt and get to where he is now.
Thank you Charlie!
I felt similarly Charlie.
It felt like he was living it in the moment of the presentation.
Ugh there are so many people I know who need to watch this!
Agreed Felipee.
My inner critic is so loud these days. Thanks for this talk, David.
You are welcome.
Wow I found so much validation in this talk, really glad to have found it.
Jim I felt the same way. So grateful.
Agreed Jim!
Anyone else just love this guys mannerisms? He seems so joyous and humble and I really enjoyed his talk.
Thank you Agnes. That means a lot!
He does seem to be full of Joy.
Oh I love this talk so much, the quote about dancing with our dragons is just a perfect analogy. Thank you David for this incredible perspective shift!
You are so welcome Harry. I really appreciate it!
I agree. Great way to ponder this.
I thought it was really good as well!
I'm not slaying, I'm not dancing - I'm making friends and getting to know the parts of me that are confronted by that which is out of my control. Understanding your ego and why it does what it does to keep you safe is so important - the ego is NOT BAD
Agreed!
Love this, thanks!
Thank you for sharing this information with us David, your honesty and vulnerability is refreshing. Thank you for your authenticity.
Yes, thank you!
@@bethanypeer3206 You are all so so so welcome.
“The greatest opportunities we have in life lie in areas that we’re currently wrong about.”
This struck me from your talk today. What am I...what are you...currently wrong about? Are we open to being wrong? What opportunities are available if we are open to being wrong? Do we have to be open to being wrong about everything we believe? Are there times when life is just a multiple-choice question, and we chose the answer that we believe is MOST right? Is there anything we can be absolutely certain about? Just some questions running through my mind...
Yes I agree, is there?
Nothing in life is certain
Very helpful.
So.good. I hear this line repeating in my brain all the time. Really interesting way to think about things.
We have evolved so much since the conversation of Ego first started. The ego lets us know when we are confronted - and that we should probably dig a little deeper. The ego reminds us that we are human and are far from perfect, which means always digging deeper when it comes to things that make us uncomfortable.
Agreed!
Love this observation!
this is a wonderful talk. it's a thin line between being excessively hard on oneself and being truly self-reflective.
Yeah, I am exploring what self-compassion looks like and this has been a really helpful piece.
Thanks Becky!
Such courage! I think this talk is a great signifier that he's dancing quite well with his dragons
Thank you!
Our ego is meant to keep us safe. And for those of us who are facing our weaknesses , the ego continues to be a friendly reminder of what we need most in our life to feel safe
Came across this a while ago and was kinda putting off watching it. Glad I finally got in and watched, left me with lots to think about.
What did you think about when watching it?
I figured out the same thing by myself a few years ago it changed my life completely. Only now I have found this video. It is fascinating to see how people from different realities arrive at very similar conclusions when questioning their inner self, their essence, something that all mankind has in common. Be kind to yourself and speak the truth with him, be transparent and respectful because no matter what happens you will always have yourself.
Love that Gabriele!
Beautiful Gabriele! Such heartfelt thoughts. Love how TedX talks can bring this authenticity out of people 😊
Sometimes visualising things helps in ways we would never predict, very cool to hear about his breakthrough.
100% agree. His vulnerability allowed me to connect with the visualization in a memorable way.
Thanks Bilbo!
Many very real tears. David has made such an impact on my life! I love his way of storytelling.
That means the world to me Shannon. Glad you enjoyed it!
ME TOO!
He IS a great storyteller!!
Thank you, David, for courageously stepping into vulnerability with yourself. You're creating safe spaces for others to do the same and begin learning how to dance with their own dragons for the first time.
Thanks Lexington! Glad you enjoyed the talk!
Yes indeed. Very well said!
So beautifully put - vulnerability is truly amazing!
I was pretty intrigued by the title of this talk, I didn't think your ego was your enemy to begin with but after listening to David's journey I have a much better understanding oh what ego actually is!
Thanks Rona!
I've come back to this a few times. It's very much in line with a few online psychologist that I subscribe to. Our ego is essentially our inner child trying to keep us safe, if we can have a relationship with our inner self that allows us to always feel safe - our ego is definitely always our friend.
Thanks for taking the time to share Mae. Glad the talk is resonating.
Beautifully put!
Thanks for this talk. I didn’t see this before. I really loved the visualization of taking your ego to the airport. As you know, I once chewed out my ego, shouting at him at the beach to shut him up and put him in his place haha. It’s an invitation to revisit my ego in a new way…
Thanks for watching David.
IKR? This was so enlightening for me--my ego is not my enemy....what??
The ego could be the enemy in some peoples eyes - but it would still be fulfilling its purpose to encourage us to learn and grow.
Agreed!
Great comment Rafe.
I think it's really interesting all the different ways people interpret those facets of themselves, like the ego, props to this guy for figuring out a nice interpretation.
Agree - enjoyed his interpretation.
Kraf - great notice.
There are so many philosophies around ego and ego death but this is a lovely way of explaining what the true purpose of ego is and how to exercise it properly.
Like all theories, they expand over time!
We are still learning
Thanks Pierre!
I love this concept of Ego. Especially considering all this speak of "toxic ego" these days. This is a really balanced view and with practical tools.
Yeah I agree! I was so sure the ego was a bad thing, something that needed to be dealt with in almost every interaction. I so appreciated David's talk!
Thank you Jycinta!
True, well spoken David.
Absolutely agree!
Thanks Vajra!
Re-watching this today. Powerful. I'm coupling this with some work around self-compassion, and it is really impacting my ability to dance with my dragons. Well said, David!
Thank you Melissa!
This is what bold humility & powerful vulnerability look like. Incredible talk!
Thank you so much Jeremiah!
glad the algorithm brought me here today, David, interesting perspective and a good talk!
Thank you Naomi!
Powerful, David! Love the notion of dancing with our dragons ❤️.
Me, too!
It definitely shifted my perspective.
@@patricegerber6797 agree 100%. Hadn't considered this as an option until now!
So eloquent and concise David! Can you please do another talk about ego reactions and how to keep them in check?
I'd LOVE to see that as well!
Same!
Agreed!
What a wonderful sense of peace this must have brought you.
I always thought that my ego isn't that bad. Now I am absolutely convinced about it!
Thanks Mat!
My ego challenges me every day, nice to be aware when it happens
David thank you for shifting the narrative and opening us up to new possibilities. Loved this!
You are so welcome Seth! Thanks for watching.
true!
Agreed!
I love this talk and everything that David Gerber does.
Thanks for the love Jason!
Everything David does is absolutely ground breaking. Love you Gerber
He is very handsome.
He's pretty good.
Just discovered him now, very good speaker.
The part about how the negativity and self doubt is designed to prepare you for what the world throws at you is an interesting one. On the one hand I can see how that's true and might be beneficial but on the other hand I don't know that anyone would ever be so harsh with you as you can be with yourself, because only YOU know about all the awful things you've done, said, and thought. That's why we can be tougher on ourselves than we ever would be with another person, and vice versa.
Agreed.
I feel so silly that I didn't know that's what sparring partners were! It's kind of lovely to think of your ego as one.
Mia - thanks for watching and glad you know what sparring partners are now!
I agree, EGO gets a bad reputation, but it's the one thing that allows to rise above.
Absolutely agree.
Oh, I read that book 10 percent happier, and I agree with this speaker it's really helpful.
Glad you liked the book as well!
He talks a little fast, I needed to reduce the playback speed to be able to take it in. Worth it, I got so much from this.
Thank you Tony.
There's always room for self reflection and being open to the possibility you may be wrong
So true Mary.
@@davidgerber401 Thank you David!
I feel like I have the opposite problem... like my ego is so over-confident that I think anything I'm going to do will be the most amazing thing anyone's ever done and then I get disappointed when I don't receive heaps of praise. But I still go on thinking that way...
Can you say more Cali? Do you have a specific example?
“Where might you be 1% wrong”. Great way to ease into challenging your dragon.
Thanks for taking the time to watch Evan.
Thank you David, this was so beautiful and a valuable thing for me to hear.
I agree Bridgette. Was so helpful!
I got so much value from it too!
This talk is brilliant! I'm so glad it popped up for me today, gave me a really great push to reassess that voice in my head
Glad you enjoyed it Megan!
I always thought ego was the voice that said you're better than other people or that made you get super offended by things that aren't really a big deal but this talk has made me realise there are so many other factors or self dialogues that your ego impacts. All the more reason to keep it in check!
Ursala - I agree! Thanks for watching the video! It means a lot to me.
Same! I never thought about ego in this way and it's been really enlightening!
“Your dragon’s aren’t for slaying, they are for dancing with”. I needed this today. I think that's a really important narrative to be reminded of, especially with all this new age understanding of the ego. Thank you David.
Thanks Kirsten! Glad the talk resonated!
I agree!
Always good to stay in the question. How can we grow, not cut out!
So true!
Everything in life is a choice! That includes our views of so many things, we do so much better when we look for the lessons in things.
Thanks for your kind thoughts Moreis. I appreciate you listening to the talk!
So true! Love the perspective that our Ego is not our enemy.
Finally a healthy conversation about ego! About time!
Thanks Maverick! Glad you enjoyed it!
Agreed!
Psychology can be so powerful when it's applied in helpful ways! Just lovely David, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it Roosevelt!
Wonderful way of talking about ego, from a very smart and handsome man.
Thank you Salsa!
Mind blown- my ego as my sparing partner. Hot Daymn I love this and something just clicked and opened up for me!
Love that!
Yes! Targeting our blind spots can allow us to focus on ways to build balance.
Thanks Sorphea!
This is a really beautiful talk David, thank you.
Agreed!
You are welcome Joshua!
Agreed Joshua!
Gosh this is such a poetic and beautiful take. Very well done.
Thank you Mark!
Finally someone laying down the honest truth about our Ego and how and why we manage it. At the end of the day we are still just surviving as a species and without our ego we wouldn't be able to do that.
It took me way too long to watch this send. Cheers!
Yeah there seems to be so much debate out there about the Ego. Really enjoyed this perspective.
YES. Yes to this talk. Thank you!
Thanks Meg!
Powerful Brother! I needed this! Dancing and Owning my Dragons!
You are welcome Ed!
Powerful stuff for life. Sharing.
Thanks for sharing it Michael.
A must watch talk for everyone who still thinks that ego is an enemy for you.
yes agree!
Thank you Raphael!
We are so hard on ourselves because we are human, and we think we aren't good enough!
It seems to be a constant battle with my inner dialogue.
Such a refreshing take on ego and the reasons for it!
Bailee - thanks for taking the time to listen to the talk and share your thoughts. It means a lot to me.
I found it refreshing as well!
Ego is your Enemy. ... concept of your book that I already want to buy
I'm working on it.
Love this talk David! So many beautiful moments and the overall message is wonderful.
Thank you June!
Agreed!
One of my favorite talks.
Oh! Ego as a sparing partner! I love this
Elias, thanks for taking the time to listen to my talk and share your thoughts. It means a lot to me!
I have been attempting to bring mindfulness practices into my every day life and there's something I've noticed when my ego is hurt, it's like a toddler version of me going "No! That's not fair!" I find asking myself questions in these cases leads me to a better response to the ego hurt.
Mindfulness is such a great practice.
mindfulness is the only place
Agreed Barb.
I love love LOVE his way of thinking
Thank you Haz!
Love this perspective on the ego you have expressed to the world, David! It seems that the ego is neither good or bad, rather something we all inevitably possess but should learn to dance with instead of suppressing! Really enjoyed hearing your story and appreciate your vulnerability :)
Appreciate your kind words Hudson! Glad you enjoyed it!
Love this!
This is right on. I can totally relate and resonate with this. Imposter syndrome, knowing my ‘why’, dancing with my dragons.. Super valuable insight!
I bought “10% Percent Happier” and I look forward to reading it.
Glad you enjoyed it Andy. Tell me how you like the book once you read it!
Great thought, I agree.
I found this so helpful as well. I gotta read that book.
Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change. My dragons are to be danced with, thanks David.
You bet Harry.