You can be Gay, Straight, or Bi, or whatever - but people seem to forget that once you have children, any changes in your life become changes in THEIR lives. This girl is 16 for Christ sakes...
'She's upset I didn't come' SHE WAS IN PAIN, AND YOU DIDN'T HEAR OP COMPLAINING WHEN YOU DIDN'T VISIT AT THE HOSPITAL A pathetic apology after treating your own kid like shit at your wedding? Gosh, what a horrible human
I guess it was just too much for her mother to be bothered to come to the Airbnb to see her only child!(sarcasm) She acts like she would rather have OP's cousin as her child than OP, since she pawned OP off on everyone else during the visit for the wedding and then to tell a guest to not worry about who she was, like she was ashamed of her. That would have been the end of that relationship for me! Plus, putting her at a table with a bunch of kids she didn't know instead of the family table. BS on the excuse of the wheelchair because they could have helped her sit in a chair and then removed the wheelchair to another room. This mother is acting like a rebellious teenager who's not getting her way, not calling, only short texts, not making time for her daughter and giving her the cold shoulder. She needs to grow the F up!!
That’s what I was thinking as well. The in laws probably are giving mom and her wife some grief for not having grandkids so they’re super elated to hear about OP. If anything I hope OP can build a good relationship with them.
Also wanted her to be in her life so she can have a grandchild, or maybe to raise another kid, herself with her wife. Like a do-over baby as crabby as that sounds. I think the mom is harsh on OP and not only blames but projects onto OP a lot of issues she had when she was OPs age. Like the comment about marrying whoever got OP pregnant (even tho she wasn't) is probably what happened to her, she was forced to marry OPs dad and it 'stole years of her life away when she could've been herself (gay)'. And also the catalyst for her 'issues' was OPs conception 'technically' and so now that OP is her age she is projecting a lot onto OP or find it too hard to be around her/potentially see her make similar choices or be 'allowed' to make different choices than her (like not allowed to 'kill her grand kid' which is something she was probably told while pregnant with OP). Her commenting about how OP needs to learn not to cry when she has a baby because that is what she needed to learn sounds like Post partum depression or her own issues that she has projected onto OP now. I think the mom had, and probably still does, have conflicting feelings about OP but definitely can't share them in group therapy because 1) she probably knows/has been told its not OPs fault she was born and 2) OP is NOT stable enough to handle that info. Also lowkey sounds like mental illnesses run in the family, I suspect the mom has some sort of mood disorder because she sounds all over the place. I personally think it might be bipolar just because the mom wanting to up and leave everything from her past, the drastic change in look, the emotional flip flopping between super close and distant, and the anger outbursts. It could be just depression but her drastic change in looks and anger outbursts to crying to anger or whatever sound almost manic or rapid cycling (quickly cycling between moods in people with bipolar) in a way. Also ngl OP could also be getting some of the symptoms because its hereditary and usually onsets in late teens/early twenties (which OP is). She could have bipolar type 2 and have more depressive episodes than hypomanic or mixed episodes but if the mom does have it OP's psych needs to know because certain antidepressants can trigger manic episodes and make it worse. I know because I have bipolar and was on antidepressants around OPs age while in college and didn't find out until I was hospitalized and found out my mom had it. I worry for OP if she does get pregnant, she doesn't sound ready but sounds like her mom still have a lot of sway over her and the mom meant what she said during the outburst at the end and probably would not support OP if OP ever needed to terminate a pregnancy. At least the step mom on mom side has a good family and seems to understand the issues that both of them have, however lowkey feel that if the mom doesn't get her anger under control step mom might leave her because how the mom is treating OP is not a good look.
Agreed. Not only should OP go complete no contact with her mother, she should also move to the US to start her life afresh, apply for US citizenship, and transfer to another college there.
@@danacarter9147 Why on earth would she immigrate to another country? That you are so gung-ho about loving your country doesn't mean everyone around the world would be happy to move to the US. We're happy with our healthcare.
@@inferiorinferno8859the thing is Canadian healthcare is a circus. Idk why the other comment said the U.S. specifically. Canada is a huge country, she can find somewhere else here to be away from her mom whether it’s here or any other country
@@maddiemcnugget1076I’m a dual citizen and I’ve lived in both countries for well over a decade. I agree canadas health care is a circus but uh… the US healthcare is also a circus. Half you canadians are shocked when I tell you that I had to pay $70 before even SEEING my family doctor in the US WITH INSURANCE. Ya’ll don’t know what it’s like getting the run around on the phone with an insurance company. Ya’ll don’t even know what the concept of an OOP cost is, PCP, pre-existing condition, deductible or a premium. Sure there’s a lot of great reasons to move to the united states. But US health care sure as hell isn’t one of them. 😂 You are just trading one set of problems for another.
So I know everyone will be in agreemace, but the mom is just so abusive. Emotionally and mentally strangely her daughter, it sounds like the mom wants OP to live the exact same life she 'had' to. Not to mention not letting your child cry is awful, it's such a horrific thing. Clearly your child is in pain and wants something, almost guaranteed always from her. But her demanded her to stop? Having a 'complex' with crying? I worry and wonder what the mom did to OP when she was a baby/toddler. I'm just scared there was more abuse when she was just a baby, it doesn't sound like the father has a backbone after all.
It honestly sounds like the Mom is resentful of OP's existence because she views OP as the embodiment of how she had to "pretend to be straight" and not getting to live as a Lesbian. So now Mom is fighting the urge to just say all the things she wants to get rid of OP for good but won't because she knows deep down it isn't OP's fault. But in doing so is STILL abusive towards OP because she's giving her so many mixed messages. It's sad but bottom line is if Mom knows that she isn't capable of loving OP the way she deserves she just needs to cut ties and go NC with OP because it this point she's causing more harm than good for both of them.
I think the main issue is that nobody outside of her therapist is letting her process things in a way that helps her, none of them are letting her move on, and they're minimizing everything Mom wants to move on? Fine. But continuing the relationship with op only on her terms isn't fair and that's where the resentment is coming from on op's end The mom is being foul to op and op is being generous bc she's not taking things out on the step mom, or anyone else. I'm glad the apology came, but they handled this so horribly. Op's mom is one bad day from messing their progress but I'm happy their relationship is getting better
> Op's mom is one bad day from messing their progress but I'm happy their relationship is getting better I think would be much better if the relationship just went downhill. Her mom have too many issues that makes a parent-son relationship too toxic until fixed
Seems pretty clear that the mom has, among a bunch of other issues, a deeply repressed and misplaced resentment for the daughter. She's upset she chose to spend so much of her life pretending to be what she isn't and, intentionally or not, is taking it out on her daughter. It's honestly pretty terrible.
that’s the vibe i’m getting too. also wouldn’t surprise me if the mom is just parroting what she’s been told by her own parents (“if you’re pregnant you have to marry the father” “if you don’t grow up you’ll never get a husband” “you have to learn not to cry like i had to”)
Yeah, Mom is deeply traumatized and taking it out on her daughter. I feel bad for her, but worse for her daughter. It's not an easy situation at all for either, but it shouldn't be on a child to fix their parent.
@kissyface3000 Just being an enabler to his ex-wife and not taking his daughter's issues with her more seriously. Wouldn't surprise me if the reason they divorced is because he was such a pushover.
@@gradealunaticofthewildwest8857 It sounds like Mom is using the courts to force his hand. Dads can't really get anything done in court without the mom complying and Canada is one of those "mom-first" countries.
@@alexandermccall227even when the kid is 16-17? Because as far as I know where I live (Europe) and I thought in the US, the consider what the kid wants and needs as more important? But Canada might be different 😅
@@tamoeri it is once the kid is old enough it really depends on the situation if it's more serious sometimes they dont care and move the child or they'll let once once there at least 5 but usually you have to be 12 im not sure how it is in canada (since this is where op is from) but im talking from experience and not statistics
The mom definitely resents the kid, she mentioned coming out earlier and getting married. But the wife's parents want grandchildren, so that's the only reason that ops mom keeps her around. This makes me so sad literally like kicking a puppy around and keeping it cause it still loves you.
my guess is that, she hates her daughter because she has a choice in life, the mother even after coming out as gay and ditching op from hours away still has no other choice but to have op around, as well as very unhinged and controlling
OP's mom is so confusing, like it's not even happening to me and I'm so weirded out by it and losing my patience with her. This hot and cold can't be healthy. And what's up with OP's mom and uncle? Like damn
He came out and lived his life early on, She didn't. That is the only thing that was mentioned as a conflict between them before the "He took OP's Side" thing. Which is also confusing since the Mom kept talking about how much she still loved OP's Dad? I don't understand her and feel like there Has to be something else going on.
the mom sounds like she would benefit from being institutionalized, noone should treat their daughter like that. this push and pull she does clearly hurts op. what I don't get is how all the other adults just seem to stand by while all of this is happening. the mom needs a reality check.
@@fives2155 fr, she throws a tantrum, hurts people in the process, comes crawling back after some time begging for forgiveness only to repeat the cycle. I just hope op can stay strong though all of this, I can't even begin to imagine the mental anguish she has to face every day. I hope the mom gets better but from what I can tell by the info provided it seems like the mom only goes to therapy to validate her feelings and not change for the better :/
She's your mother.. She's shown how selfish she is, you're supposed to be her first priority but she's basically gaslighting, blaming you, deflecting for everything that has been going on. And even after Therapy when she realizes she's been the one at fault.. She's acting like you have to do exactly as she says or she'll flare up and become Crazy.. This is so unhealthy, i feel bad for op 😔
@Laland123t shes 16 and nobody seems to let her sit for five minutes and process all the shit thats happening to her. Of course shes being a little immature. I guarantee that if she was allowed to express herself without her parents shoving words down her throat that she clearly never intended
Maybe because she's a CHILD?!?!? You're such a goober bro how about the ADULTS stop acting immature?? Her mom literally sounds like a 5 year old getting mad over her own child crying
If you look up the word narcissist, the mom shows a classic sign of it. A narcissist trait is formed from childhood trauma and OP's mom sounds like she had a lot of childhood trauma because of her sexuality.
As someone who couldn't come out because of a hostile environment: Punishing your child who never asked to be born, Because you made the choice to stay closeted and now regret it, And disregarding the fact that she loves, needs, and depends on you? Ugh.The mom is so utterly disgusting to me.
Those story made me cry so f much, this poor girl, I don't understand why some women come out and completely forget they still have a kid, I know they maybe want to forget the fact that they had to endure being with a man, but damn,
Mom: im so happy now that im away from my old life, fuck that life! OP: got it Mom : No no, your happiness is my happiness! alosi totally love you but i wont come see u even when u are at the hospital! but look my gf and me and a cool cabin! nice right? EDIT: ''Don't worry about her''?! What the actual fuck?! EDIT 2 : ah ok so shes a control freak and she somehow doesnt get that a 16 years old isnt a perfect communicator and she blames OP for the whole thing, great... EDIT 3: ok wtf? so does she have depression? interrnalized homophobia? self-hate? why is she making her wife apologize to OP when she's the one being mental? EDIT 4 : Umh is the stupid thing OP did a suicide attempt? coz it sounds like everyone changed gears after that. also with the mom getting thinner, the new clothes and the will talks, shes dying or something right? thats why shes so fixated on the ''wasted time'' of her life Finall edit: ok yeah the mom definitely is dying or is infertile now, but jesus christ, what a bunch of mixed signals her mom gives....
Ok, but why is the mom abusive and resentful to OP, but more of a loving mother to OP's cousin... Honestly, it's borderline favouritism on top of everything else.
Exactly. After graduating from college, OP will go no contact with her mother and move to Ottawa, to get away from her, next, after breaking up with her boyfriend she'll find solace with/marry a new beau who controls her, abuses her, mentally emotionally, verbally, and physically, to the point of putting her in the hospital, traps her, and threatens to un-alive her, if she breaks up with him, then, stay at a women's shelter, get a passport, plus a visa, escape to the US, with the help of the Canadian authorities and DV social workers (because she's scared that her husband and mother will get custody of her kid, and subject him to the same abuse her mother put her through), stay at another women's shelter, and apply for US citizenship, find a cheaper apartment in Albuquerque, NM, or Phoenix, AZ, plus, a reasonable paying job, a trustworthy therapist, and hire a nanny to care for her kid, but sadly, she'll lose contact with her bio-dad, stepmother, and cousins, and her kid will never get to know his grandfather, uncles, or aunts; the only family OP and her kid will have in the US is each other.💔 Plus, instead of ever finding new love, or getting married again, OP will need to stay away potential new partners/spouses, concentrate on her career, getting therapy for herself, raising her kid, creating stable and safe home environment for him, and be a far better mother to him than her mother is.⚠️
Probably because she was forced to marry because she got pregnant. I am surprised she got pregnant when she knew she was gay back then, but I guess her parents forced her to date men…or at least that’s what I gathered by her reaction to the possible pregnancy of OP. “You have to marry the guy if you are pregnant”, like people don’t have to marry these days if they are pregnant, but that’s what she’s mad about because her parents made her marry…jealousy because things are different. She showed that by having days and days of meltdown over a stupid movie!!
It's almost as if OP's mom is embarrassed of her daughter, she needs to stop with the nonsense and either be there for her kid or leave. The leading on thing is extremely shitty
yeah, it seems like nobody is giving her the room to process and grieve for her old relationship with her mom and are just pumping her with meds to fix the problem
I actually think the councellor was the only one seeing straight. She was telling op to prepare for a life without her mom. The councellor was the only one seeing how toxic mom was. And sending her to a psychiatrist? I was mad the first time I heard that. Like they blamed op's problems on depression rather than the sick home system. However, during the story you hear her say that the meds helped and then the suicide attempt after losing the one she loved. I'm sensing she didn't tell us, but that she was indeed depressed. All in all I'm thinking that the councellor (psychologist) and psychiatrist actually did all they could, meanwhile both parents weren't fully listening to and/or actively working against advice from the professionals.
It honestly sounds like the Mom is resentful of OP's existence because she views OP as the embodiment of how she had to "pretend to be straight" and not getting to live as a Lesbian. So now Mom is fighting the urge to just say all the things she wants to get rid of OP for good but won't because she knows deep down it isn't OP's fault. But in doing so is STILL abusive towards OP because she's giving her so many mixed messages. It's sad but bottom line is if Mom knows that she isn't capable of loving OP the way she deserves she just needs to cut ties and go NC with OP because it this point she's causing more harm than good for both of them.
What I'm getting is the mom was forcing herself into a relationship with the dad, and told herself it was worth it for the kid, then one day had some awakening and decided to put herself first and live her life and just threw away everything and started new. Now she's trying to reconcile her old life and the trauma she forced on herself and her relationship with her daughter and fucking up and trying to both be a parent but also resenting the kid she had despite the kid never asking for any of this. Her wife is at least supportive and has a great head on her shoulders. Other stepmom too. Both parents failing this kid but the stepparents at least rock. Their parents too. Pity they couldn't have met earlier cause their parents might have been better people by now.
anyone else annoyed at how it seemed like instead of the therapist trying to help go through the feelings at the beginning, they just put her on drugs and crancked up the dose?? also the way the mom suddenly got better before going back to worse sounds lile love bombing, and it is EXTREMELY weird and concerning about the way her mom brings up marriage and grandchildren
Not going to lie, but with all the scholarships she got, I would've just went to where I wanted to go to regardless of how my parents felt. It is stupid to go to a school because of your partner, but if the school lines up with all of your personal goals AND lines up with being with your partner, then I don't see a problem. It's still possible to end up having sex with a random person you meet as your partner, although maybe not as likely.
Let's be real. The only reason she has a complex with crying is because it's physical proof she's treated someone like garbage and she's a piece of crap. Then again, so are most of the adults in OP's life...
I understand she does not want you to share her personal business I am like that too I don't want anyone talking about my sexuality but if something is hurting you the first one to know and solve it is mom your mom is very selfish I know this new life might feel wonderful but remember you made a child and she is your first priority
Barely 2 minutes in, "your happiness is my happiness so i dont want to see you till your not depressed" is such bullshit i cant wrap my mind around how a mother came to that conclusion
What the hell is it going to take for OP to see her Mother for the Monster she really is and draw some boundaries? When her Stepmom gets sick of her wife's bullshit? When her father gets diagnosed with a deadly illness and confesses how both he and her mom have failed her? When her therapist decides she no longer wants to help her because she makes very little progress? Or when she get sent to the hospital again and/or has to drop out of University? At some point, enough is enough. Either she takes a stand against her Womanchild of a mother or she'll continue to be her spineless servant. This cycle of abuse must stop someday, before OP herself becomes just like her mother to her own children (if she'll have any at all).
Literally. I’m 40mins through, and I know OP is just 16/17yo, but fuck me dead, my patience and empathy for her is almost 0. Kid needs to grow a backbone, actually listen to her trained psych, and let herself fully realise how toxic her mother is. It’s like, she gets so close, but then puts the blinders back up. Sigh.
Weird that you see it that way because there’s plenty of stories of straight couples remarrying and going out of their way to dismantle their children’s lives so they can remove them and pretend like they’re childless teenagers falling in love for the first time because the children from their first marriage gives their new partner the ick or just because the shadow of their past is ruining the romance for them. It definitely manifests a little differently for gay couples but it’s not unique to them.
Just finished the whole vid, just one question, what the hell is up with OP’s mum wanting to be a grandmother and this ‘no crying’ bullshit? I mean l can kinda understand wanting to be a grandmother (even thought l feel OP’s mother is pushing it onto op a bit to early for my liking), but just getting mad at your child for crying? For showing a emotion that is viewed as ‘weak’? Now that is just weird and terrifying for me.
You don’t just get to decide you don’t want to be a mom because you’re discovering yourself.. this is not on the child. She’s not even acknowledging the whole thing. And honestly only sounds like she’s only trying to have a relationship with her child because of the in laws. I can’t imagine downplaying and not going to see my child who is in the hospital is crazy Lastly the mom is beyond delusional and toxic
She will be lucky if her newly married wife doesn’t leave her a$$ after all the drama she brings to the marriage. She has more ups and downs than the stock market!
Sometimes, I catch myself thinking this is like the gay equivalent of a straight dad getting into a midlife crisis and abandoning his family with a young, hot babe from the gym or something. As a bisexual woman, that's how I see LGBT parents ditching their old lives and kids once they come out. The gay version of the pathetic midlife crisis moment. I feel so sorry for all the children who's parents go that route, wether gay, straight or trans.
The mom is literally so selfish, your daughter expressed to you how she felt like you didn’t want to be in her life anymore and you just insult her? And then presume to avoid her for months? How fucking toxic she literally tries to guilt her into moving in with her too? And if you thought your daughter was going to die shouldn’t that mean you’d want to go see her more? Also this mother is fucking clueless about how allergic reactions work 😅. This is mom just want to drop all of her mother responsibilities is what it sounds like. I feel so sorry for OP she deserves a better mom.
Yea, I wouldn’t be moving anywhere near her after all the chaos she caused in her daughter’s life…caused mental issues to the point of suicide, the break up with her boyfriend and denying her the opportunity to go to her friends wedding when all of her friends were going, just to name a few! If mom doesn’t get her sh*t together, she’s going to be divorced before long because nobody can withstand all those up and down mood swings.
Why does it seem like of her entire nuclear family only OP is the only sane normal balnced one here? Dad wants control, mom is just...unbalanced...and everyone aroiund this twin-star center of disater has to deal with it (both stepmoms and grandparents, and uncles, aunts and cousins) ...and OP is just suffering collateral damage from it all...I hope when Op manages to get thru UNI she finds someone and goes as far away as possible from Briitish Columbia...I mean litellay Austraila or India...so she never has to interact with EITHER of these loons ever again.
47:00 I hope OP doesn’t tell her mom that she dated a girl as she clearly threatened by anyone taking away the rainbow spotlight from her. Like got to therapy already.
because psychiatrists are not the same thing as psychologists. psychiatrists diagnose and treat mental health conditions. psychologists help address the other issues that influence the mental health conditions
Mom clearly have HUGE emotion issues, always saying stupid stuff and regreting, daughter suicidal, so many emotion swings from the mom, daughter with deep depression in so young age. I'm not a doctor but this screams bipolar disorder so much (and dad is too damn passive). Also every adult around is a jerk, jeez, she is tried to do bad things? Let remove her friends access(???????)
Okay I agree with the mom on the school thing. You should not base your schooling on your bf. Make your choice based off what you wanna do notttt your bf.
OP mom is an emotional baggage, like literally. Hope her wife find someone's better, it feels like a cluster mess. Op mom feels like don't know a bipolar maybe? She's so annoying, op dad doesn't have a backbone too. The two step-mom over here is seems like the only one who knew their partner kind of suck when it came to their own daughter but OP mother, is just damn frustrating every updates made me want to slam my phone, the mother doesn't like crying, at the same time pushing for her to have babies, it is like projecting of her pasts getting pregnant at eighteen, she has an unresolved issues.
the problem is that her mom is living her best life which doesnt include her. her words says she cares, but not her actions. Op just want her mom to want her. Which she clearly does not unless it impacts her social image. Her psychiatrists just increases her dose everytime she has an issue instead of doing her job. (Its like having emotions is not normal). Her mom keeps disregarding her feelings by including her in stuff without consulting with her. Afrer the wedding its clear the mom is starting to worry that her daughter is moving on and geting better so now she needs her to save their relationship. Its complete bs just cut her out
I feel so bad for OP and how she's treated and she's so strong for going through all of it, the mom needs a LOT of therapy, she's clearly reflecting what she's been told all her life to her daughter and sees a younger, repressed self on her. Let this be a lesson to break the cycle, when you experience trauma from things your parents do to you, don't reflect the same thing to your children.
Not letting your child cry is awful. When I was little my mom refused to acknowledge me until I stopped crying. She’d tell me that she can’t hug me because my crying would hurt her ears. If I didn’t stop crying she’d just stand there waiting until she found a reason to leave. The second I’d stop crying a switch would flip & suddenly she cared & would start comforting me. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what she was doing, I just thought being convenient was the price of being loved. Therefore I grew up absolutely terrified of crying or being vulnerable in front of anyone. (If this is too long scroll to the end) In 5th grade the class was signing a secret birthday card for a classmate during lunch. Most of the boys were in the storeroom organising everything & all the girls were lining up to sign the card. Halfway through lunch a kid from the other class who was in on the surprise ran to the classroom & frantically told us that band practice was canceled & the birthday boy could be back any second. All hell broke loose. Everyone was fighting tug of war style over the storeroom door; the boys wanted to close it to hide the surprise & the girls wanted it open because the card was hardly a surprise since the class had done the same thing for literally everyone else on their birthday. I was just chilling in the middle of the crowd of girls since I accepted I wouldn’t be able to physically escape until this resolved itself. The teacher was still at the opposite corner of the class doing work at her desk & knowing her I think she just genuinely had no idea what to do. Amidst the crowd my only focus was to not drop my lunch or fall over. I was about to fall over when I caught myself by leaning my hand on the wall. Fun fact, it was not the wall. I managed to lean my hand directly on the door hinge, my pinky & half my ring finger inside the gap between the side of the door & the doorframe. Before I had time to notice the boys had finally managed to close the door completely. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to everyone, they had closed the door on my fingers. Being a shy kid I was completely unable to raise my voice above my normal speaking volume so instead of screaming my head off in pain I spent the next minute trying to politely get the attention of anyone around me. Somehow my teacher noticed the disappearing act my fingers were doing in the middle of the chaos. For a little context my teacher, let’s call her Ms.H, was very young, very pretty, very well liked & we were her first ever class. She was a very good teacher despite her little experience & never got angry. The second she yelled at the class to stop everyone went quiet. No one had ever seen Ms.H angry before so in that instant the entire class knew that something was going down. Without a word she parted the crowd, calmly opened the door & helped me get my fingers free. My fingers looked bad, they were completely covered in bulging blood blisters that made it look like my pinky had caught a concentrated case of chickenpox. Ms.H gently led me to the sink to run some cold water over my fingers, revealing them to the whole class. No one said a word but you could tell everyone in the room was collectively thinking “Oh shit. We’re in so much trouble. No matter how much pain I was in I did not cry. Not a single tear. Not when I had cold water running over my fingers, not when Ms.H got my friend to carry my bag & escort me to the principals office (there’s no nurse at most schools where I’m from), not even over the two hours I spent sitting in the office waiting for my mom to finish work. That entire time I was more terrified of crying than I was concerned about my fingers. By the time she was done with work school was 10 minutes from ending. I had to walk home with my mom because we lived close enough to call driving a waste of gas but just far away enough where it was annoying to walk. The second I knew I was out of earshot of the school & far away enough where no one could spot me through the fence I became Niagara Falls of snot & tears. My mom didn’t let me stop walking to cry & insisted we continue. She just walked ahead of me since she could tell if I stopped following by the sounds of my breakdown. I couldn’t go to school the next day because the soonest appointment to get my finger x-rayed was right in the middle of the school day. I had fractured it & had to wear a weird bandage splint thingy for 2 months. When I returned the day after that my friend updated me on all relevant news. They had two things to tell me. First, Ms.H spent 10 minutes giving the class a very angry lecture about never ignoring a classmate ever again & basically made the class realise she was capable of being angry but the class had just never fucked up this bad. Secondly, everyone in the school thought I was super tough because I didn’t cry & even smiled. They had no way of knowing that I was smiling because I wanted everyone to think I was fine & stop staring at me. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was inconvenient. (TLDR: in 5th grade got a door completely closed on their fingers in front of the class but was so terrified of being inconvenient I was more focused on not crying than the incredible pain from my freshly fractured fingers. Didn’t cry until I was far enough away from the school when Mom picked me up 2 hours later.) OP’s Mom needs to get their shit together because no amount of reasoning can justify making your child scared to cry. My mom isn’t even half as bad as OP’s Mom, Jesus fucking Christ.
I've seen this story before, I feel like everyone except the OP are AHs here, because pretty much no one actually tried to help the OP feel better, and apologies are lack luster at best
OMFG! That poor kid. Ive only made it to 23 minutes into this and it's already painfully clear that every significant adult in her life has been demanding that she behave like an adult while excusing the childish behavior of all the actual adults.
The mom has proven where her priorities lie and it’s not with their kid. She only sees her as a prop and a doll with no feelings. Only loves her daughter when it’s convenient. All that depression stems from feeling unwanted, minimized, unloved and abandoned by her own mom. Forcing the daughter to suppress her own emotions is going to do damage in the long run. All the adults around op failed her.
%100 sure that mom is in the middle of a life crisis and kinda got caught between coming out and challenging all her beliefs like her issue with crying.
I'm just halthway through but the constant 180 of the mom (from "you're the best thing in my life" to "I resent you for existing") is giving untreated bipolar disorder
So latest update is a new one to this story. Aside from the pregnancy scare, looks like OP is doing better over all. But yeah that pregnancy scare shows that her mom is still crazy.
I have a theory why the mom is acting the way she is. She is projecting the self she wishes she could be on OP. Mom has internalized homophobia. That’s why she keeps pushing that she wants OP to have a husband and child. I think she wishes she wasn’t gay. She might even want to adopt that child using OP as a surrogate. I don’t think the mom entirely hates OP but her love for her is heavily laced with trauma and a little selfish. I don’t think the mom wanted to marry a man, have sex with a man or bare a child either but she forced herself to do those things because she knew no other way of life and OP is a walking talking memory of that trauma. I think the mom hates herself for for crying, being so emotionally unstable and therefore gets upset when OP cries. She sees her least favourite parts of herself in OP and maybe a little terrified she will be like her as an adult and that’s why she berates OP for crying despite being an obvious hypocrite. The truth is she actually hates herself for constantly crying and being so emotional and she projects that self hatred onto OP for that. At the end of the day the mother never actually learned to process with her own emotions and problems so she’s emotionally immature. Poor OP has it rough.
5:39 if she’s seeing a psychologist why does she need a Psychiatrist to diagnose her? Psychologists in Canada and USA can legally diagnose mental health disorders.
not sure how it is in canada, but in the US at least, only psychiatrists can prescribe medication- i have both a psychologist and psychiatrist for the same reason
Wow... i could not imagine doing that to my children. How can a mother treat her own child like that?? Shes literally only treating her daughter like her child because her inlaws are glad to be grandparents. Now that its convenient for her she wants her daughter around. Every other time she has chosen her partner over her child. Im sorry but she really does not act like a mother should. Yes, she raised her daughter, but thats what you sign up for when you become a parent. Your children are always a priority no matter how old they are. It is just so sad how she has treated her daughter, especially since she got engaged. She now thinks she can play happy family, despite practically abandoning her daughter when she really needed her mother by her side.
I'm halfway through, and it's very apparent that OPs mom needs to process her own trauma and work to become emotionally intelligent. This cycle of love bombing and then complete detachment is extremely unhealthy for children. That blow up at the end over the pregnancy scare reminds me of generational trauma. Parents try to force children into the same situations that made their life miserable as a kind of unhealthy coping mechanism. As if making someone else suffer what you went through, validates your own suffering as justified.
Sounds like mom only wants to be a mom when it's convenient/benefits her. Ex: doesn't interfere with vacations or her plans, means she can have a grandchild, gets to feel good about herself/boosts her own image (taking photos when op wasn't in the wheelchair)
I really dont get the OP mom, she start hating the uncle for standing UP for her child and makes jokes about OP having children but when is about OP Go the same university to not happen the same with her, but when her friend have a baby she started again the pregnant jokes
Like in the end, she past months talking about her being a mom was horríble and hated It, but in the end when OP was worried about pregnancy she Just start talking her to marry the Guy and dont Ab0rt
OP's mother has issues, but she doesn't seem like a bad person at heart. Her wife seems pretty good, and her parents sound amazing. Just a lot of undiagnosed issues here honestly. Therapy and doctors would do these people well.
yeah, ops mom is emotionally abusing her kid. Whats even worse is she is throwing her hate down OPs throat for no reason other than to get a kick out of it.
Putting all of this on a kid is terrible. I feel like the mom, as another commenter pointed out, has a lot of misplaced anger and repression about how she spent her life and inadvertently takes it out on her daughter. Sure, the mom may love her kid, but I think it would be best if the mom got therapy and worked through her issues. I damn near almost cried watching this because I know how it feels to feel like your very birth ruined your mom’s life
Honestly when op is older I can see her cutting her whole family out her life & she will probably be better for it all they seem to do is cause her unnecessary drama & force her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do but refuse to let her do the things she does want to do honestly she would be better of without them in her life
It sounds like OP's mom had a form of bipolar mental health issue or a form of trauma that was never addressed. Op clearly has a lot of issues, and I feel like OP doesn't really get a say - it has to go through her parents first and that isn't right. I don't think OP realizes that she has control over her own life, otherwise I feel like they wouldn't have been scared to address anything. The fact that there are times where OP is scared clearly shows her home life. She might've not been abused physically, but mentally. Another thing is OP mom seems to have a form of narcissistic personality disorder. It would explain her outbursts of randomness or random triggers as well. Definitions: Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that affects how you view yourself and relate to others. Having NPD means you have an excessive need to impress others or feel important. That need can be strong enough to drive harmful behaviors, negatively affecting you and those around you. Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. These shifts can make it difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks.
Omg stop trying to diagnose people online ffs. Only her mom’s mental health professional knows what she has. Not every unpleasant personality is a narcissist.
32 minutes in, mom sounds kinda crazy & sounds like she has a lot of unresolved trauma shes only just now kinda feeling. I feel so bad for OP Edit one: I do agree picking a university because your partner is going there is a horrible idea tbh. Like purely for that reason, it just happening is fine
At the second update all I can think I the therapist is lazy asf. OP is having an emotional crisis and the therapist keeps saying talk to the psychiatrist to get more antidepressants.
You can be Gay, Straight, or Bi, or whatever - but people seem to forget that once you have children, any changes in your life become changes in THEIR lives. This girl is 16 for Christ sakes...
'She's upset I didn't come'
SHE WAS IN PAIN, AND YOU DIDN'T HEAR OP COMPLAINING WHEN YOU DIDN'T VISIT AT THE HOSPITAL
A pathetic apology after treating your own kid like shit at your wedding? Gosh, what a horrible human
OP.. what did you do..
@pretzelicious4200 most likely an attempt at their own life or self harm
I guess it was just too much for her mother to be bothered to come to the Airbnb to see her only child!(sarcasm) She acts like she would rather have OP's cousin as her child than OP, since she pawned OP off on everyone else during the visit for the wedding and then to tell a guest to not worry about who she was, like she was ashamed of her. That would have been the end of that relationship for me! Plus, putting her at a table with a bunch of kids she didn't know instead of the family table. BS on the excuse of the wheelchair because they could have helped her sit in a chair and then removed the wheelchair to another room. This mother is acting like a rebellious teenager who's not getting her way, not calling, only short texts, not making time for her daughter and giving her the cold shoulder. She needs to grow the F up!!
So far this feels like mom wants daughter to be in her life because of inlaws...
My thoughts exactly. How awful.
That’s what I was thinking as well. The in laws probably are giving mom and her wife some grief for not having grandkids so they’re super elated to hear about OP. If anything I hope OP can build a good relationship with them.
Also wanted her to be in her life so she can have a grandchild, or maybe to raise another kid, herself with her wife. Like a do-over baby as crabby as that sounds.
I think the mom is harsh on OP and not only blames but projects onto OP a lot of issues she had when she was OPs age.
Like the comment about marrying whoever got OP pregnant (even tho she wasn't) is probably what happened to her, she was forced to marry OPs dad and it 'stole years of her life away when she could've been herself (gay)'. And also the catalyst for her 'issues' was OPs conception 'technically' and so now that OP is her age she is projecting a lot onto OP or find it too hard to be around her/potentially see her make similar choices or be 'allowed' to make different choices than her (like not allowed to 'kill her grand kid' which is something she was probably told while pregnant with OP). Her commenting about how OP needs to learn not to cry when she has a baby because that is what she needed to learn sounds like Post partum depression or her own issues that she has projected onto OP now. I think the mom had, and probably still does, have conflicting feelings about OP but definitely can't share them in group therapy because 1) she probably knows/has been told its not OPs fault she was born and 2) OP is NOT stable enough to handle that info.
Also lowkey sounds like mental illnesses run in the family, I suspect the mom has some sort of mood disorder because she sounds all over the place. I personally think it might be bipolar just because the mom wanting to up and leave everything from her past, the drastic change in look, the emotional flip flopping between super close and distant, and the anger outbursts. It could be just depression but her drastic change in looks and anger outbursts to crying to anger or whatever sound almost manic or rapid cycling (quickly cycling between moods in people with bipolar) in a way.
Also ngl OP could also be getting some of the symptoms because its hereditary and usually onsets in late teens/early twenties (which OP is). She could have bipolar type 2 and have more depressive episodes than hypomanic or mixed episodes but if the mom does have it OP's psych needs to know because certain antidepressants can trigger manic episodes and make it worse. I know because I have bipolar and was on antidepressants around OPs age while in college and didn't find out until I was hospitalized and found out my mom had it.
I worry for OP if she does get pregnant, she doesn't sound ready but sounds like her mom still have a lot of sway over her and the mom meant what she said during the outburst at the end and probably would not support OP if OP ever needed to terminate a pregnancy. At least the step mom on mom side has a good family and seems to understand the issues that both of them have, however lowkey feel that if the mom doesn't get her anger under control step mom might leave her because how the mom is treating OP is not a good look.
Mom is definitely a nut case. The OP is just a kid. Regardless of your own confusion in life, to treat your daughter so expendably is so disgusting.
Agreed. Not only should OP go complete no contact with her mother, she should also move to the US to start her life afresh, apply for US citizenship, and transfer to another college there.
@@danacarter9147 Why on earth would she immigrate to another country? That you are so gung-ho about loving your country doesn't mean everyone around the world would be happy to move to the US. We're happy with our healthcare.
@@inferiorinferno8859the thing is Canadian healthcare is a circus. Idk why the other comment said the U.S. specifically. Canada is a huge country, she can find somewhere else here to be away from her mom whether it’s here or any other country
@@danacarter9147
Do you know how much the colleges cost???
@@maddiemcnugget1076I’m a dual citizen and I’ve lived in both countries for well over a decade. I agree canadas health care is a circus but uh… the US healthcare is also a circus. Half you canadians are shocked when I tell you that I had to pay $70 before even SEEING my family doctor in the US WITH INSURANCE. Ya’ll don’t know what it’s like getting the run around on the phone with an insurance company. Ya’ll don’t even know what the concept of an OOP cost is, PCP, pre-existing condition, deductible or a premium. Sure there’s a lot of great reasons to move to the united states. But US health care sure as hell isn’t one of them. 😂 You are just trading one set of problems for another.
So I know everyone will be in agreemace, but the mom is just so abusive. Emotionally and mentally strangely her daughter, it sounds like the mom wants OP to live the exact same life she 'had' to.
Not to mention not letting your child cry is awful, it's such a horrific thing. Clearly your child is in pain and wants something, almost guaranteed always from her. But her demanded her to stop? Having a 'complex' with crying? I worry and wonder what the mom did to OP when she was a baby/toddler. I'm just scared there was more abuse when she was just a baby, it doesn't sound like the father has a backbone after all.
It honestly sounds like the Mom is resentful of OP's existence because she views OP as the embodiment of how she had to "pretend to be straight" and not getting to live as a Lesbian. So now Mom is fighting the urge to just say all the things she wants to get rid of OP for good but won't because she knows deep down it isn't OP's fault. But in doing so is STILL abusive towards OP because she's giving her so many mixed messages. It's sad but bottom line is if Mom knows that she isn't capable of loving OP the way she deserves she just needs to cut ties and go NC with OP because it this point she's causing more harm than good for both of them.
I think the mom just want op for the inlaws. I think you make sense
@@stertrack520 tbh with all those ''baby comments'' it seems to be a shitmix of everything
I think the main issue is that nobody outside of her therapist is letting her process things in a way that helps her, none of them are letting her move on, and they're minimizing everything
Mom wants to move on? Fine. But continuing the relationship with op only on her terms isn't fair and that's where the resentment is coming from on op's end
The mom is being foul to op and op is being generous bc she's not taking things out on the step mom, or anyone else. I'm glad the apology came, but they handled this so horribly.
Op's mom is one bad day from messing their progress but I'm happy their relationship is getting better
It sounds like the Dad was doing a pretty good job of being there without pushing or minimizing it?
> Op's mom is one bad day from messing their progress but I'm happy their relationship is getting better
I think would be much better if the relationship just went downhill. Her mom have too many issues that makes a parent-son relationship too toxic until fixed
You said it all! 👍
That wasn’t a real apology that was her trying to appease her wife and in-laws.
@@rauljosechaves3291 I thought OP was a daughter since mom and cousin picked out a dress for her to wear to the wedding.
Seems pretty clear that the mom has, among a bunch of other issues, a deeply repressed and misplaced resentment for the daughter. She's upset she chose to spend so much of her life pretending to be what she isn't and, intentionally or not, is taking it out on her daughter. It's honestly pretty terrible.
that’s the vibe i’m getting too. also wouldn’t surprise me if the mom is just parroting what she’s been told by her own parents (“if you’re pregnant you have to marry the father” “if you don’t grow up you’ll never get a husband” “you have to learn not to cry like i had to”)
Nailed it.
Yeah, Mom is deeply traumatized and taking it out on her daughter. I feel bad for her, but worse for her daughter. It's not an easy situation at all for either, but it shouldn't be on a child to fix their parent.
Mom isn't traumatized. 😑 She's just a selfish b****. Stop excusing away a grown woman treating a child like this.
Mom and dad suck, I’m getting madder each update
And dad? I'm halfway thru what did he do 😨😨
@kissyface3000 Just being an enabler to his ex-wife and not taking his daughter's issues with her more seriously.
Wouldn't surprise me if the reason they divorced is because he was such a pushover.
@@gradealunaticofthewildwest8857 It sounds like Mom is using the courts to force his hand. Dads can't really get anything done in court without the mom complying and Canada is one of those "mom-first" countries.
@@alexandermccall227even when the kid is 16-17? Because as far as I know where I live (Europe) and I thought in the US, the consider what the kid wants and needs as more important? But Canada might be different 😅
@@tamoeri it is once the kid is old enough it really depends on the situation if it's more serious sometimes they dont care and move the child or they'll let once once there at least 5 but usually you have to be 12 im not sure how it is in canada (since this is where op is from) but im talking from experience and not statistics
The mom definitely resents the kid, she mentioned coming out earlier and getting married. But the wife's parents want grandchildren, so that's the only reason that ops mom keeps her around. This makes me so sad literally like kicking a puppy around and keeping it cause it still loves you.
The mother resents her daughter, love bombs her, and wants her to live her life as payback. She's bad but good enough when needed to keep her hooked.
my guess is that, she hates her daughter because she has a choice in life, the mother even after coming out as gay and ditching op from hours away still has no other choice but to have op around, as well as very unhinged and controlling
hi frens, im away on my trip now 😁 ill be back on tuesday to catch up on newer reddit posts :] cheers and stay well until then :D
Have a fun trip, thanks for all you do
enjoy your vacation!!
I love your channel both on TT and here, never skipped a day without listening! Have a fun and safe trip boo. Thank youuu!
Enjoy!
thank you for the stories and your full stories ss have fun (❁´◡`❁)(❁´◡`❁)
Poor OP. Her mom is sending so many mixed signals.
I think she's BDP personified. Acting hot and cold just to keep OP upset because.. fuck you that's why
Too many mixed signals, that's for sure.😒
OP's mom is so confusing, like it's not even happening to me and I'm so weirded out by it and losing my patience with her. This hot and cold can't be healthy. And what's up with OP's mom and uncle? Like damn
He came out and lived his life early on, She didn't. That is the only thing that was mentioned as a conflict between them before the "He took OP's Side" thing. Which is also confusing since the Mom kept talking about how much she still loved OP's Dad? I don't understand her and feel like there Has to be something else going on.
@@nehpets216 she probably was ditching op, then the grandparents came into the equation and she wants her to have grandbabies for some sreason
the mom sounds like she would benefit from being institutionalized, noone should treat their daughter like that. this push and pull she does clearly hurts op. what I don't get is how all the other adults just seem to stand by while all of this is happening. the mom needs a reality check.
The mom is only going to get a reality check when something goes badly and I mean badly wrong
@@fives2155 fr, she throws a tantrum, hurts people in the process, comes crawling back after some time begging for forgiveness only to repeat the cycle.
I just hope op can stay strong though all of this, I can't even begin to imagine the mental anguish she has to face every day.
I hope the mom gets better but from what I can tell by the info provided it seems like the mom only goes to therapy to validate her feelings and not change for the better :/
She's your mother.. She's shown how selfish she is, you're supposed to be her first priority but she's basically gaslighting, blaming you, deflecting for everything that has been going on. And even after Therapy when she realizes she's been the one at fault.. She's acting like you have to do exactly as she says or she'll flare up and become Crazy.. This is so unhealthy, i feel bad for op 😔
So true but op is extremely immature for her age, she really needs to grow up.
@Laland123t shes 16 and nobody seems to let her sit for five minutes and process all the shit thats happening to her. Of course shes being a little immature. I guarantee that if she was allowed to express herself without her parents shoving words down her throat that she clearly never intended
@@Laland123t and how do you suggest she do that? If she's controlled and spoken for like a baby she wouldn't have space to grow.
Maybe because she's a CHILD?!?!? You're such a goober bro how about the ADULTS stop acting immature?? Her mom literally sounds like a 5 year old getting mad over her own child crying
If you look up the word narcissist, the mom shows a classic sign of it. A narcissist trait is formed from childhood trauma and OP's mom sounds like she had a lot of childhood trauma because of her sexuality.
The mom sounds emotionally abusive… to both OP and the stepmom.
As someone who couldn't come out because of a hostile environment:
Punishing your child who never asked to be born,
Because you made the choice to stay closeted and now regret it,
And disregarding the fact that she loves, needs, and depends on you?
Ugh.The mom is so utterly disgusting to me.
Those story made me cry so f much, this poor girl, I don't understand why some women come out and completely forget they still have a kid, I know they maybe want to forget the fact that they had to endure being with a man, but damn,
Ikr. I didn't think I would cry at a story like this but here we are. The way op writes is so raw and so innocent that it makes me even sadder
Mom: im so happy now that im away from my old life, fuck that life!
OP: got it
Mom : No no, your happiness is my happiness! alosi totally love you but i wont come see u even when u are at the hospital!
but look my gf and me and a cool cabin! nice right?
EDIT: ''Don't worry about her''?! What the actual fuck?!
EDIT 2 : ah ok so shes a control freak and she somehow doesnt get that a 16 years old isnt a perfect communicator and she blames OP for the whole thing, great...
EDIT 3: ok wtf? so does she have depression? interrnalized homophobia? self-hate? why is she making her wife apologize to OP when she's the one being mental?
EDIT 4 : Umh is the stupid thing OP did a suicide attempt? coz it sounds like everyone changed gears after that. also with the mom getting thinner, the new clothes and the will talks, shes dying or something right? thats why shes so fixated on the ''wasted time'' of her life
Finall edit: ok yeah the mom definitely is dying or is infertile now, but jesus christ, what a bunch of mixed signals her mom gives....
Thanks for the resume x.x I didn't want to continue hear this, it's so painful
Ok, but why is the mom abusive and resentful to OP, but more of a loving mother to OP's cousin... Honestly, it's borderline favouritism on top of everything else.
Exactly. After graduating from college, OP will go no contact with her mother and move to Ottawa, to get away from her, next, after breaking up with her boyfriend she'll find solace with/marry a new beau who controls her, abuses her, mentally emotionally, verbally, and physically, to the point of putting her in the hospital, traps her, and threatens to un-alive her, if she breaks up with him, then, stay at a women's shelter, get a passport, plus a visa, escape to the US, with the help of the Canadian authorities and DV social workers (because she's scared that her husband and mother will get custody of her kid, and subject him to the same abuse her mother put her through), stay at another women's shelter, and apply for US citizenship, find a cheaper apartment in Albuquerque, NM, or Phoenix, AZ, plus, a reasonable paying job, a trustworthy therapist, and hire a nanny to care for her kid, but sadly, she'll lose contact with her bio-dad, stepmother, and cousins, and her kid will never get to know his grandfather, uncles, or aunts; the only family OP and her kid will have in the US is each other.💔 Plus, instead of ever finding new love, or getting married again, OP will need to stay away potential new partners/spouses, concentrate on her career, getting therapy for herself, raising her kid, creating stable and safe home environment for him, and be a far better mother to him than her mother is.⚠️
Probably because she was forced to marry because she got pregnant. I am surprised she got pregnant when she knew she was gay back then, but I guess her parents forced her to date men…or at least that’s what I gathered by her reaction to the possible pregnancy of OP. “You have to marry the guy if you are pregnant”, like people don’t have to marry these days if they are pregnant, but that’s what she’s mad about because her parents made her marry…jealousy because things are different. She showed that by having days and days of meltdown over a stupid movie!!
This girl sounds like she'd be way happier if she could get some distance from her unstable mother.
It's almost as if OP's mom is embarrassed of her daughter, she needs to stop with the nonsense and either be there for her kid or leave. The leading on thing is extremely shitty
Ok, wtf with that councellor? They seem extremly incompetent and trying to solve all problems with drugs
yeah, it seems like nobody is giving her the room to process and grieve for her old relationship with her mom and are just pumping her with meds to fix the problem
That's all they ever do.
I actually think the councellor was the only one seeing straight. She was telling op to prepare for a life without her mom. The councellor was the only one seeing how toxic mom was.
And sending her to a psychiatrist? I was mad the first time I heard that. Like they blamed op's problems on depression rather than the sick home system. However, during the story you hear her say that the meds helped and then the suicide attempt after losing the one she loved. I'm sensing she didn't tell us, but that she was indeed depressed.
All in all I'm thinking that the councellor (psychologist) and psychiatrist actually did all they could, meanwhile both parents weren't fully listening to and/or actively working against advice from the professionals.
It honestly sounds like the Mom is resentful of OP's existence because she views OP as the embodiment of how she had to "pretend to be straight" and not getting to live as a Lesbian. So now Mom is fighting the urge to just say all the things she wants to get rid of OP for good but won't because she knows deep down it isn't OP's fault. But in doing so is STILL abusive towards OP because she's giving her so many mixed messages. It's sad but bottom line is if Mom knows that she isn't capable of loving OP the way she deserves she just needs to cut ties and go NC with OP because it this point she's causing more harm than good for both of them.
And the councellor/psychologist saw that. Hence they tried to prepare Op for a life not involving her mom
What I'm getting is the mom was forcing herself into a relationship with the dad, and told herself it was worth it for the kid, then one day had some awakening and decided to put herself first and live her life and just threw away everything and started new. Now she's trying to reconcile her old life and the trauma she forced on herself and her relationship with her daughter and fucking up and trying to both be a parent but also resenting the kid she had despite the kid never asking for any of this.
Her wife is at least supportive and has a great head on her shoulders. Other stepmom too. Both parents failing this kid but the stepparents at least rock. Their parents too. Pity they couldn't have met earlier cause their parents might have been better people by now.
Apparently the only good thing mom has done these days is introducing her in laws to OP. They’re the best
STOP TALKING TO YOUR EXCUSE OF A MOM AAHHHHHH
anyone else annoyed at how it seemed like instead of the therapist trying to help go through the feelings at the beginning, they just put her on drugs and crancked up the dose??
also the way the mom suddenly got better before going back to worse sounds lile love bombing, and it is EXTREMELY weird and concerning about the way her mom brings up marriage and grandchildren
Not going to lie, but with all the scholarships she got, I would've just went to where I wanted to go to regardless of how my parents felt. It is stupid to go to a school because of your partner, but if the school lines up with all of your personal goals AND lines up with being with your partner, then I don't see a problem. It's still possible to end up having sex with a random person you meet as your partner, although maybe not as likely.
Let's be real. The only reason she has a complex with crying is because it's physical proof she's treated someone like garbage and she's a piece of crap. Then again, so are most of the adults in OP's life...
I understand she does not want you to share her personal business I am like that too I don't want anyone talking about my sexuality but if something is hurting you the first one to know and solve it is mom your mom is very selfish I know this new life might feel wonderful but remember you made a child and she is your first priority
Barely 2 minutes in, "your happiness is my happiness so i dont want to see you till your not depressed" is such bullshit i cant wrap my mind around how a mother came to that conclusion
It feels like everyone but the gay uncle, or step grandparents are trying to gaslight op and are trying to control her.
Every. Adults. Sucks
What the hell is it going to take for OP to see her Mother for the Monster she really is and draw some boundaries? When her Stepmom gets sick of her wife's bullshit? When her father gets diagnosed with a deadly illness and confesses how both he and her mom have failed her? When her therapist decides she no longer wants to help her because she makes very little progress? Or when she get sent to the hospital again and/or has to drop out of University?
At some point, enough is enough. Either she takes a stand against her Womanchild of a mother or she'll continue to be her spineless servant. This cycle of abuse must stop someday, before OP herself becomes just like her mother to her own children (if she'll have any at all).
Literally. I’m 40mins through, and I know OP is just 16/17yo, but fuck me dead, my patience and empathy for her is almost 0. Kid needs to grow a backbone, actually listen to her trained psych, and let herself fully realise how toxic her mother is. It’s like, she gets so close, but then puts the blinders back up. Sigh.
This is the second story of mother's who came out and acted like they didn't have children anymore
Weird that you see it that way because there’s plenty of stories of straight couples remarrying and going out of their way to dismantle their children’s lives so they can remove them and pretend like they’re childless teenagers falling in love for the first time because the children from their first marriage gives their new partner the ick or just because the shadow of their past is ruining the romance for them. It definitely manifests a little differently for gay couples but it’s not unique to them.
Just finished the whole vid, just one question, what the hell is up with OP’s mum wanting to be a grandmother and this ‘no crying’ bullshit? I mean l can kinda understand wanting to be a grandmother (even thought l feel OP’s mother is pushing it onto op a bit to early for my liking), but just getting mad at your child for crying? For showing a emotion that is viewed as ‘weak’? Now that is just weird and terrifying for me.
Hell, mom cries more than her daughter!
You don’t just get to decide you don’t want to be a mom because you’re discovering yourself.. this is not on the child. She’s not even acknowledging the whole thing. And honestly only sounds like she’s only trying to have a relationship with her child because of the in laws. I can’t imagine downplaying and not going to see my child who is in the hospital is crazy
Lastly the mom is beyond delusional and toxic
She will be lucky if her newly married wife doesn’t leave her a$$ after all the drama she brings to the marriage. She has more ups and downs than the stock market!
40:58 😂😂 therapist is like, “Even a broken clock is right twice a day”
Sometimes, I catch myself thinking this is like the gay equivalent of a straight dad getting into a midlife crisis and abandoning his family with a young, hot babe from the gym or something.
As a bisexual woman, that's how I see LGBT parents ditching their old lives and kids once they come out. The gay version of the pathetic midlife crisis moment. I feel so sorry for all the children who's parents go that route, wether gay, straight or trans.
The mom is literally so selfish, your daughter expressed to you how she felt like you didn’t want to be in her life anymore and you just insult her? And then presume to avoid her for months? How fucking toxic she literally tries to guilt her into moving in with her too? And if you thought your daughter was going to die shouldn’t that mean you’d want to go see her more? Also this mother is fucking clueless about how allergic reactions work 😅. This is mom just want to drop all of her mother responsibilities is what it sounds like. I feel so sorry for OP she deserves a better mom.
Yea, I wouldn’t be moving anywhere near her after all the chaos she caused in her daughter’s life…caused mental issues to the point of suicide, the break up with her boyfriend and denying her the opportunity to go to her friends wedding when all of her friends were going, just to name a few! If mom doesn’t get her sh*t together, she’s going to be divorced before long because nobody can withstand all those up and down mood swings.
Why does it seem like of her entire nuclear family only OP is the only sane normal balnced one here? Dad wants control, mom is just...unbalanced...and everyone aroiund this twin-star center of disater has to deal with it (both stepmoms and grandparents, and uncles, aunts and cousins) ...and OP is just suffering collateral damage from it all...I hope when Op manages to get thru UNI she finds someone and goes as far away as possible from Briitish Columbia...I mean litellay Austraila or India...so she never has to interact with EITHER of these loons ever again.
Weak dad failed to protect his kid.
47:00 I hope OP doesn’t tell her mom that she dated a girl as she clearly threatened by anyone taking away the rainbow spotlight from her. Like got to therapy already.
That stepmon deserve better..
Why do psychiatrists always jump to loading patients with antidepressants instead of actually addressing the issue? It’s absolutely ridiculous.
Hi loves listen to the show by Jake Daniels and its what you said loves😅❤😂😊
THIS!! Ofc the antidepressants weren’t working, she was dealing with so much shit!
because psychiatrists are not the same thing as psychologists.
psychiatrists diagnose and treat mental health conditions.
psychologists help address the other issues that influence the mental health conditions
This might have been due to pressure from the parents, since OP was a minor while they were prescribed.
"""""""That's their job"""""
Mom clearly have HUGE emotion issues, always saying stupid stuff and regreting, daughter suicidal, so many emotion swings from the mom, daughter with deep depression in so young age. I'm not a doctor but this screams bipolar disorder so much (and dad is too damn passive). Also every adult around is a jerk, jeez, she is tried to do bad things? Let remove her friends access(???????)
I feel so sorry for OP; her whole situation is a lot for a teen to handle. 😢
Okay I agree with the mom on the school thing. You should not base your schooling on your bf. Make your choice based off what you wanna do notttt your bf.
It felt more like she was afraid to live with her mom because of their unstable relationship then because of her bf
But I absolutely agree
But at the same time it might also be about emotional support
I'm sorry by the 8th update everyone is fucking INSUFFERABLE. Like op, mom the only one that doesn't pmo are the step moms like holy SHIT
Omg yes! I don’t see anyone else saying this!
This made me cry and you are really amazing for Being really brave and managing to fight through that I respect
I kinda like the fact that the grandparents are bringing gifts for OP 😅
top 10 worst reddit parents
also really dislike op cant lie
all of these adults are insane.
So, so sad for this child. Screwed up parents destorying their children.
OP mom is an emotional baggage, like literally. Hope her wife find someone's better, it feels like a cluster mess. Op mom feels like don't know a bipolar maybe? She's so annoying, op dad doesn't have a backbone too. The two step-mom over here is seems like the only one who knew their partner kind of suck when it came to their own daughter but OP mother, is just damn frustrating every updates made me want to slam my phone, the mother doesn't like crying, at the same time pushing for her to have babies, it is like projecting of her pasts getting pregnant at eighteen, she has an unresolved issues.
I think I have the beginnings of a headache after listening to all the exhausting moods of dear ole mom!
the problem is that her mom is living her best life which doesnt include her. her words says she cares, but not her actions. Op just want her mom to want her. Which she clearly does not unless it impacts her social image. Her psychiatrists just increases her dose everytime she has an issue instead of doing her job. (Its like having emotions is not normal). Her mom keeps disregarding her feelings by including her in stuff without consulting with her. Afrer the wedding its clear the mom is starting to worry that her daughter is moving on and geting better so now she needs her to save their relationship. Its complete bs just cut her out
I feel so bad for OP and how she's treated and she's so strong for going through all of it, the mom needs a LOT of therapy, she's clearly reflecting what she's been told all her life to her daughter and sees a younger, repressed self on her. Let this be a lesson to break the cycle, when you experience trauma from things your parents do to you, don't reflect the same thing to your children.
Not letting your child cry is awful. When I was little my mom refused to acknowledge me until I stopped crying. She’d tell me that she can’t hug me because my crying would hurt her ears. If I didn’t stop crying she’d just stand there waiting until she found a reason to leave. The second I’d stop crying a switch would flip & suddenly she cared & would start comforting me. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what she was doing, I just thought being convenient was the price of being loved. Therefore I grew up absolutely terrified of crying or being vulnerable in front of anyone.
(If this is too long scroll to the end)
In 5th grade the class was signing a secret birthday card for a classmate during lunch. Most of the boys were in the storeroom organising everything & all the girls were lining up to sign the card. Halfway through lunch a kid from the other class who was in on the surprise ran to the classroom & frantically told us that band practice was canceled & the birthday boy could be back any second. All hell broke loose. Everyone was fighting tug of war style over the storeroom door; the boys wanted to close it to hide the surprise & the girls wanted it open because the card was hardly a surprise since the class had done the same thing for literally everyone else on their birthday. I was just chilling in the middle of the crowd of girls since I accepted I wouldn’t be able to physically escape until this resolved itself. The teacher was still at the opposite corner of the class doing work at her desk & knowing her I think she just genuinely had no idea what to do. Amidst the crowd my only focus was to not drop my lunch or fall over. I was about to fall over when I caught myself by leaning my hand on the wall. Fun fact, it was not the wall. I managed to lean my hand directly on the door hinge, my pinky & half my ring finger inside the gap between the side of the door & the doorframe. Before I had time to notice the boys had finally managed to close the door completely. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to everyone, they had closed the door on my fingers. Being a shy kid I was completely unable to raise my voice above my normal speaking volume so instead of screaming my head off in pain I spent the next minute trying to politely get the attention of anyone around me. Somehow my teacher noticed the disappearing act my fingers were doing in the middle of the chaos. For a little context my teacher, let’s call her Ms.H, was very young, very pretty, very well liked & we were her first ever class. She was a very good teacher despite her little experience & never got angry. The second she yelled at the class to stop everyone went quiet. No one had ever seen Ms.H angry before so in that instant the entire class knew that something was going down. Without a word she parted the crowd, calmly opened the door & helped me get my fingers free. My fingers looked bad, they were completely covered in bulging blood blisters that made it look like my pinky had caught a concentrated case of chickenpox. Ms.H gently led me to the sink to run some cold water over my fingers, revealing them to the whole class. No one said a word but you could tell everyone in the room was collectively thinking “Oh shit. We’re in so much trouble.
No matter how much pain I was in I did not cry. Not a single tear. Not when I had cold water running over my fingers, not when Ms.H got my friend to carry my bag & escort me to the principals office (there’s no nurse at most schools where I’m from), not even over the two hours I spent sitting in the office waiting for my mom to finish work. That entire time I was more terrified of crying than I was concerned about my fingers. By the time she was done with work school was 10 minutes from ending. I had to walk home with my mom because we lived close enough to call driving a waste of gas but just far away enough where it was annoying to walk. The second I knew I was out of earshot of the school & far away enough where no one could spot me through the fence I became Niagara Falls of snot & tears. My mom didn’t let me stop walking to cry & insisted we continue. She just walked ahead of me since she could tell if I stopped following by the sounds of my breakdown.
I couldn’t go to school the next day because the soonest appointment to get my finger x-rayed was right in the middle of the school day. I had fractured it & had to wear a weird bandage splint thingy for 2 months. When I returned the day after that my friend updated me on all relevant news. They had two things to tell me. First, Ms.H spent 10 minutes giving the class a very angry lecture about never ignoring a classmate ever again & basically made the class realise she was capable of being angry but the class had just never fucked up this bad. Secondly, everyone in the school thought I was super tough because I didn’t cry & even smiled. They had no way of knowing that I was smiling because I wanted everyone to think I was fine & stop staring at me. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was inconvenient.
(TLDR: in 5th grade got a door completely closed on their fingers in front of the class but was so terrified of being inconvenient I was more focused on not crying than the incredible pain from my freshly fractured fingers. Didn’t cry until I was far enough away from the school when Mom picked me up 2 hours later.)
OP’s Mom needs to get their shit together because no amount of reasoning can justify making your child scared to cry. My mom isn’t even half as bad as OP’s Mom, Jesus fucking Christ.
I've seen this story before, I feel like everyone except the OP are AHs here, because pretty much no one actually tried to help the OP feel better, and apologies are lack luster at best
Especially trying to tell your child they are not allowed to cry, its hella terrible.
I agree with the mom about not going to university just for OP's bf. That was a naive choice made by OP.
The mom is unhinged
OMFG! That poor kid. Ive only made it to 23 minutes into this and it's already painfully clear that every significant adult in her life has been demanding that she behave like an adult while excusing the childish behavior of all the actual adults.
Big episode let’s goo
I can tell almost every inmediate adult in Op's life has fail her so far
Except her uncle
Was anyone else expecting the mom to jump in front of a bus or something?
By halfway through kind of hoping, actually.
The mom has proven where her priorities lie and it’s not with their kid. She only sees her as a prop and a doll with no feelings. Only loves her daughter when it’s convenient. All that depression stems from feeling unwanted, minimized, unloved and abandoned by her own mom. Forcing the daughter to suppress her own emotions is going to do damage in the long run. All the adults around op failed her.
All the wedding BS made me want to sob. Everyone treats this kid like extra baggage. Her mom treats her like garbage
%100 sure that mom is in the middle of a life crisis and kinda got caught between coming out and challenging all her beliefs like her issue with crying.
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The out of the closet mother, is using the child as an accessory. Without caring about op's feelings I would be very wary of her future actions.
I'm just halthway through but the constant 180 of the mom (from "you're the best thing in my life" to "I resent you for existing") is giving untreated bipolar disorder
Dad's girlfriend calls her a jerk and then tells OP she's staying out of it. BS.
Mum wants a grand child all the fun and none of the real responsibility
So latest update is a new one to this story. Aside from the pregnancy scare, looks like OP is doing better over all. But yeah that pregnancy scare shows that her mom is still crazy.
god i'm so glad i gave up my emotional relationship with my mom
at the family dinner.
Random relative: Who is she ?
Mother: No one to worry about"
Damn no, that's mean and cruel...
I have a theory why the mom is acting the way she is. She is projecting the self she wishes she could be on OP. Mom has internalized homophobia. That’s why she keeps pushing that she wants OP to have a husband and child. I think she wishes she wasn’t gay. She might even want to adopt that child using OP as a surrogate.
I don’t think the mom entirely hates OP but her love for her is heavily laced with trauma and a little selfish. I don’t think the mom wanted to marry a man, have sex with a man or bare a child either but she forced herself to do those things because she knew no other way of life and OP is a walking talking memory of that trauma.
I think the mom hates herself for for crying, being so emotionally unstable and therefore gets upset when OP cries. She sees her least favourite parts of herself in OP and maybe a little terrified she will be like her as an adult and that’s why she berates OP for crying despite being an obvious hypocrite. The truth is she actually hates herself for constantly crying and being so emotional and she projects that self hatred onto OP for that.
At the end of the day the mother never actually learned to process with her own emotions and problems so she’s emotionally immature. Poor OP has it rough.
after the 6th update i started getting really annoyed w OP
soo i hate how they were like ah op your this your that But you no one capped wtf the mom was doing
Her mother is a SOS. This kid doesn´t need antidepressants as much actual responsible adults that actually love her.
5:39 if she’s seeing a psychologist why does she need a Psychiatrist to diagnose her? Psychologists in Canada and USA can legally diagnose mental health disorders.
not sure how it is in canada, but in the US at least, only psychiatrists can prescribe medication- i have both a psychologist and psychiatrist for the same reason
@@NinesRaewas going to say this
The mom sounds like a terrible person
I think the mother is bipolar.
She’s special
Wow... i could not imagine doing that to my children.
How can a mother treat her own child like that??
Shes literally only treating her daughter like her child because her inlaws are glad to be grandparents. Now that its convenient for her she wants her daughter around.
Every other time she has chosen her partner over her child.
Im sorry but she really does not act like a mother should. Yes, she raised her daughter, but thats what you sign up for when you become a parent. Your children are always a priority no matter how old they are.
It is just so sad how she has treated her daughter, especially since she got engaged. She now thinks she can play happy family, despite practically abandoning her daughter when she really needed her mother by her side.
I'm halfway through, and it's very apparent that OPs mom needs to process her own trauma and work to become emotionally intelligent. This cycle of love bombing and then complete detachment is extremely unhealthy for children.
That blow up at the end over the pregnancy scare reminds me of generational trauma. Parents try to force children into the same situations that made their life miserable as a kind of unhealthy coping mechanism. As if making someone else suffer what you went through, validates your own suffering as justified.
Sounds like mom only wants to be a mom when it's convenient/benefits her. Ex: doesn't interfere with vacations or her plans, means she can have a grandchild, gets to feel good about herself/boosts her own image (taking photos when op wasn't in the wheelchair)
I really dont get the OP mom, she start hating the uncle for standing UP for her child and makes jokes about OP having children but when is about OP Go the same university to not happen the same with her, but when her friend have a baby she started again the pregnant jokes
Like in the end, she past months talking about her being a mom was horríble and hated It, but in the end when OP was worried about pregnancy she Just start talking her to marry the Guy and dont Ab0rt
OP's mother has issues, but she doesn't seem like a bad person at heart. Her wife seems pretty good, and her parents sound amazing.
Just a lot of undiagnosed issues here honestly. Therapy and doctors would do these people well.
yeah, ops mom is emotionally abusing her kid. Whats even worse is she is throwing her hate down OPs throat for no reason other than to get a kick out of it.
Narcissistic moms suck.
I still hadn't seen the full vid, and im gay but being gay shouldn't be an excuse for emotional child neglect.
Putting all of this on a kid is terrible. I feel like the mom, as another commenter pointed out, has a lot of misplaced anger and repression about how she spent her life and inadvertently takes it out on her daughter. Sure, the mom may love her kid, but I think it would be best if the mom got therapy and worked through her issues. I damn near almost cried watching this because I know how it feels to feel like your very birth ruined your mom’s life
Honestly when op is older I can see her cutting her whole family out her life & she will probably be better for it all they seem to do is cause her unnecessary drama & force her to do stuff she doesn’t want to do but refuse to let her do the things she does want to do honestly she would be better of without them in her life
It sounds like OP's mom had a form of bipolar mental health issue or a form of trauma that was never addressed.
Op clearly has a lot of issues, and I feel like OP doesn't really get a say - it has to go through her parents first and that isn't right. I don't think OP realizes that she has control over her own life, otherwise I feel like they wouldn't have been scared to address anything. The fact that there are times where OP is scared clearly shows her home life. She might've not been abused physically, but mentally. Another thing is OP mom seems to have a form of narcissistic personality disorder. It would explain her outbursts of randomness or random triggers as well.
Definitions:
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition that affects how you view yourself and relate to others. Having NPD means you have an excessive need to impress others or feel important. That need can be strong enough to drive harmful behaviors, negatively affecting you and those around you.
Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. These shifts can make it difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks.
Omg stop trying to diagnose people online ffs. Only her mom’s mental health professional knows what she has. Not every unpleasant personality is a narcissist.
32 minutes in, mom sounds kinda crazy & sounds like she has a lot of unresolved trauma shes only just now kinda feeling. I feel so bad for OP
Edit one: I do agree picking a university because your partner is going there is a horrible idea tbh. Like purely for that reason, it just happening is fine
At the second update all I can think I the therapist is lazy asf. OP is having an emotional crisis and the therapist keeps saying talk to the psychiatrist to get more antidepressants.
By the sixth update, the mom definitely has some kind of disorder, bi polar or something else with mood swings and manic states.
That woman is toxic and op shouldn’t be made to be around the mother if she doesn’t want to.
The fucking op spent 90% of the time crying
I cried with her too this shit sad. I can't imagine what I would do if my mom started treating me like this
I'd cry too if my mum just abandoned me
Oooh this was updated again?
Edit: it wasn't, it's the same updates I heard last time.