Honestly I think half of it is , that bert is as amusing to tom he is to alot of people. I mean the shit but that falls out of berts mouth is priceless
@ ~3:20 "If I have to have surgery, maybe I'll just die first." As crazy as that sounds, I think the same way. Going to any doctor, dentist appt is absolutely terrifying for my anxiety! 🤪🤣
How is LeeAnn simultaneously the rock of the family and the also the most ridiculous character in a sitcom episode? 😂 "I ain't fallin' for no trick! He thinks he's magic, he AIN'T magic!" 😂😂
He means it, he's added clarity before. It wasn't a joke he's delusional 😂 and you running to his rescue without knowing that is pathetic. All his friends mock him for it, Tom even did subtly in this pod after Bert said that stupid shit. @@kdndkdk5945
I could listen to Tom tell stories about his kids for the whole podcast. In fact, it would be 100% better than any episode with Bart talking about himself.
I can’t wait to be able to see Tom on his way back down, when he plays clubs again ❤ One of my best memories of seeing comedy was seeing Bert at comedy on state, sitting at the front table that touches the stage 😂
Bert would probably love asmr RUclips videos to get to sleep. There’s people who talk to you and massage you and give you personal attention. Just look up personal attention asmr. It’s the best thing to watch before bed it’s so soothing and comforting
“It’s just me and the truth” Bert is the best when he’s talking about his family. Also, I have definitely contemplated death instead of something like breaking my jaw.
I don't think truer words have ever been said in a 2B1C comment before - Can just see him on his 4th marriage, doesn't see his kids, lives with his dad in Tampa, drives a 90's Corvette
Oh gawd, the whole story of Tom’s dad giving an allowance to his sisters in college, so, Tom, “Do, how much am I getting?” Marine vet Dad: “What? An allowance? That’s different…You’re a guy” Is so funny.
Who remembers when Bert was that red only from laughing or coughing and now he just exists and is a tomato he only has 2 years left max I’m telling you 😂😂😂
You ask how to keep kids- kids at heart. I think showing them you can still be a kid at heart is the best example. We let life run out emotions and physical everyday life. Sometimes it's just okay to exist and nothing more. I played a video game from my childhood yesterday. It brought me so much join to feep like i was a little kid again playing video games on my grandma's bed. We all grow up too soon. Just keep loving life, loving everything around you. It's all we have.
Things change, you can change your watching habits too. I personally enjoyed the bit about their dads and growing up etc. Granted they’re not all hits haha Bart can get a little grainy and Tim is his own issue sometimes. If it’s too much bragging or empty talk about celebrities they know it’s all good, I feel you on that, I say vote with your feet and watch something else, make them earn back your viewership. When the fun stops, stop. Either way have a great day, try Bad Friends, some of the older episodes around ep 100 are hilarious But to each their own x
@@axis1393 ya I have. I just check in once in a while for like the last 2 years or something. Still the same... I literally saw every episode for a long while, but cant do it anymore.
I started a drinking game everytime Bert laughs like a crazy person you take a drink. Its seems tooo bee wrokkking ot prttey goood so fra yu should tyr it!
Can’t believe this but I’m going to highly agree with Bert on the doctor thing…when he was talking about the dental work and saying he might die first instead 😂😂😂
The story of Tom having to work through college while his sister got allowance is so true lol. My family was the same way, used to piss me off as a teen/young adult.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
i can’t stand how Bert pronounces tattoo😂😂
It's not even like an alternate pronunciation it's just completely wrong lol
I had to rewind to believe it
Or Ben Affleck
Ahh, so that's what he was talking about. I kept hearing "a toos" and was confused
this upsets me so much lol
"Maybe I'll die before I have to deal with that." is something I say almost every day.
Absolutely 💯 😂
this feels like tom is bert’s psychiatrist and he is simply amazed by the words of his patient
😅😅😅
Honestly I think half of it is , that bert is as amusing to tom he is to alot of people. I mean the shit but that falls out of berts mouth is priceless
Bert looks like an ice cube in a Bloody Mary.
Spot on there mate! 😉👌🏼
Next level observation! 😂
Looks more like he gets drunk and beats women named Mary till they’re Bloody
Comment of the year
Omg 💀
Tom doing his kids' voice gets me dying every time. He is raising legit psychos !!!
@@badadm-bp9qr It's deeper than his voice I fucking dieee every time 😂
100%
I know family channels are wrong and awful, but man I wish we could see a little slice of that home life. I know it must be hilarious.
Mommy Tina is raising the psychos, Tommy is gone so he doesn’t get stabbed in the middle of the night
I'm a simple man, if Top Dog is in the title, I watch. RIP Top Dog
I miss the days when the poors = Tim and top dog was still among us...Unfortunately, sometimes, we move forward. Keep em high and tight there feller.
💯 🕊️ 😇 🐶
D@@Bilow_Selhi
That's really why I hopped on, I don't watch much anymore. Still a big fan of there stuff though
💯 👏🏽 He was a cool dad to all of us and didn’t even know it.
Ive never seen a redder face on someone who isn’t sunburnt or incredibly angry. Good work Burk, Looking healthy
#Bur(n)t
Dudes a functioning alcoholic
But hey, he is perfectly healthy according to his blood work 😂
If you were crushing it at life you'd be partying and having the best time of your 50s too.
Lmfao!
Bert looks identical to the cowardly lion on wizard of oz 😂😂
😅😅😅
He’s definitely the lion but he has the courage. Liquid courage, courage to take his shirt off, you name it.
Welcome to one bear one dolphin
the dugong (mannity? for americans) is the species of dolphin represented
37 beers - one adulting
Dude....it's spelled Manatee 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I know you didn't go your whole life spelling it like that come on now @@dalelane1948
Underrated comment
20 beers 1 case
"Don't even bring up the surgery"
"You brought it up first"
"IM NOT LIKE YOU TOM"
@ ~3:20 "If I have to have surgery, maybe I'll just die first." As crazy as that sounds, I think the same way. Going to any doctor, dentist appt is absolutely terrifying for my anxiety! 🤪🤣
How is LeeAnn simultaneously the rock of the family and the also the most ridiculous character in a sitcom episode? 😂 "I ain't fallin' for no trick! He thinks he's magic, he AIN'T magic!" 😂😂
That's because bert is delusional about his life lmaoo
Tuhtwo lol
I think she may be the original Hawk Tuah.
She’s the worst.
Yeah I really disliked her before (don’t have a podcast and that’s obvious)
But now I think I’m gonna just straight up root against her. Lolol
Bert's laugh just cracks me up everytime!!! 😂😂
Bert is about as jacked as a fucking sailor with hepatomegaly
He has to walk his liver in order for it to work the next day
catch-up, tuh-too's, ben uh-fleck. This shit really grinds my gears. JUST SAY IT RIGHT BERT
cant forget nightmeer
he does it to troll kids like you. worked i guess
Bena-flick
how are you still listening if it bothers you that much? ive just accepted that he's an r word
I love that Bert will try almost anything to avoid having to use self control
Or introspection
Because he doesn't have any
Ad reads are important because it’s the only time we hear Tom talk.
😅😅😅
I like when Tomatillo and Bertrude talk about their youth.
Bert thinking he's "Jacked af" is comedy in itself 😂
It’s funny how people watch a comedy podcast and take everything so literal
He means it, he's added clarity before. It wasn't a joke he's delusional 😂 and you running to his rescue without knowing that is pathetic. All his friends mock him for it, Tom even did subtly in this pod after Bert said that stupid shit. @@kdndkdk5945
I wish I had just a fraction of his blind confidence
He has reverse body dysmorphia
When he said, "still jacked", I wished that I had half his false confidence😂
Listening to the crew in the background laugh when Toms talking about his son and the paint and trophy 😂😂😂
You guys do realize Tom gave us all a gift by plugging his dates, right from the top knowing it would trigger blork. Thanks papa jeans, ❤
We all just wanna be loved like Top Dog loved Tommy
I could listen to Tom tell stories about his kids for the whole podcast. In fact, it would be 100% better than any episode with Bart talking about himself.
so then dont watch lmfao
Bert living into his 60s 😂 he has 1 year left... TOPS !
Bert's squealing laughs get me every time😂
It’s just killing me on my shitty earphones I have 😅🤷🏻♂️
Bert trying to convince us he downloaded Acorns is the funniest shit ever
and him saying "our landscaper said she took a vacation for free!" Also shows he does not understand how it works
Oof 🤦🏼♂️😂 you're... oh you're special😅
? @@deaderthendead041
"I hope I'll STILL be jacked when I'm 60"....Oh, Brother....Dude is so Bertlusional...!!!!
Think/hope he said it half jokingly
12:10 Bert picks his nose and flicks his booger onto the couch. He’s STILL the coolest of cool guys.
They need to start reading 10 comments from previous podcasts each pod cause these comments are priceless and can be its own comedy act in itself
Bert dolphining over Tom’s dads college pay story is killin me
Burt is unhinged and I love that Tom watches it like a comedy
...ahh its time for Berts weekly psych therapy again....
uh-oh, did we get Cocaine Bert today?
You have never been around anyone on cocaine
@@YMoney- sure thing, pal. is this where I'm supposed to go "yuh-huh, I have so!" and try to prove it to you? lol
@@daegiovanni5864 no I’m jus simply making a statement, get off the internet sometimes Jesus lmfao
@@daegiovanni5864 no, get off the internet sometimes you sound miserable
When Bert said "I eat out a lot", I heard "I eat owl a lot" and I thought to myself "yeah that checks out for Bert"
My promo-skipping right arrow key skills at this stage has me confident I can stand toe to toe with even the most avid bean-flickers
You can tell Tom's dad cared about him and Burt's couldn't wait to get him out of the house.
This comment wins. 😂
Leann reacting to magic is probably the best bit on the podcast in a long fuckin time 😂
Bert and tom episode actually kind of happy for it
2Bears really reminds me of sitting in front of the TV as a kid. I get tired of the commercials and do something else
"Hopefully I'll still be jacked as fuck" - no one wants to tell him? Also that he thinks a scar would be the most distracting part of his body.... 🤣
To his credit; he’s not AS fat as he can be… 😆
I can’t wait to be able to see Tom on his way back down, when he plays clubs again ❤ One of my best memories of seeing comedy was seeing Bert at comedy on state, sitting at the front table that touches the stage 😂
Hey I got upto 8 minutes into the pod! That’s better then the last 6 months
Nice work brother, keep after it! 💪
Same. I used to be able to keep listening. At this point I think everyone just hate watches bc the comments are crazy
This show used to be great and now it's just a reminder of how good Bad Friends is
Still Jacked As Fuh! Yup! That’s Bert!!!😂😂😂
Bert would probably love asmr RUclips videos to get to sleep. There’s people who talk to you and massage you and give you personal attention. Just look up personal attention asmr. It’s the best thing to watch before bed it’s so soothing and comforting
It’s funny how I found Bart first from the machine story , then Discovered Tim and I don’t wanna see Bart ever again
My dogs got their first exposure to Bert's laugh today. Confused isn't even close😅
I tried. Bert's laugh fucking hurts my ears. Back to the main mommy's pod.
I feel like they could fix that, the sound guys
I suffered from insomnia for over 10 years. Got about 2 hours of sleep in 15 min increments. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Not wanting the world to continue after you die has to be the most narcissistic thing to say ever.
Bourthe wouldn’t be afraid of death if he could literally forget about himself for five minutes
Tom can't get out three sentences out before Bert interrupts.
New here?
😅😅😅
“It’s just me and the truth” Bert is the best when he’s talking about his family. Also, I have definitely contemplated death instead of something like breaking my jaw.
Remember when bert didnt force these laughs after every sentence
No. It's his shtick.
I cannot stand when he squeals when he's laughing and talking at the same time..
Literally almost had to turn it off
Tom’s dad allowance system was a perfection !😂😂
No one can take their shirts off without Bert’s permission.
STOP STEALING JOKES
The whole Austin Comedy scene is a “Self Licking Ice Cream Cone!”
Camera is probably on Tom for less than 10 minutes
Nah there's lots of shots of him nodding and polite laughing
@@taylorthecurator He does that.
---> *_Can't wait for Wednesday, so stoked to hear Christina tell all about the world changing airtight session she had with the Gallagher Bros._*
Truly a Blessing in the Skies
Toms "all that is Connected" while he is trying not to piss his pants laughing.... a amazing Moment.
If Bart had not gotten lucky and is making tons of dough, he'd 100% be in the cool guy club jesus fucking christ xD
I don't think truer words have ever been said in a 2B1C comment before - Can just see him on his 4th marriage, doesn't see his kids, lives with his dad in Tampa, drives a 90's Corvette
Yep. He still sounds like a chicken being choked out.
"Tuh-too" - Bert doing comedy
Who wants to tell hardcore Keto Burnt that meatballs typically have breadcrumbs in them?
Bert's the reason condoms are only 97% effective. He puts his on after he's done.
Asks Tom question, answers question himself. Classic Bart.
Oh gawd, the whole story of Tom’s dad giving an allowance to his sisters in college, so, Tom, “Do, how much am I getting?”
Marine vet Dad:
“What? An allowance? That’s different…You’re a guy” Is so funny.
On par with peter parker asking "can i get my check in advance" and the laugh that follows
Honestly the best episodes are with just Bert and Tom. Rare dynamic of a pod where it’s more fun without guests
8 sec in bert doesn't let tom promote his dates
I am grateful for all the joy that you both have provided me over the years and I wish you luck on your future endeavors!
These 2 are unrecognizable. Nail the coffin shut on this podcast.
They’ve both evolved into two very different yet unlikable people.
Move on then child
Honestly. this episode was 🔥 reminded me why I started watching Two Bears ❤
No one who pronounces tattoo as "tato" should get one.
Who remembers when Bert was that red only from laughing or coughing and now he just exists and is a tomato he only has 2 years left max I’m telling you 😂😂😂
Maybe spraytan
44:46 “just me and the truth” why does Bret seem so scared to be with his wife alone..💀
Black Rambo got me nervous too but it was good!
My ass hurts from all the commercials. I guess they knew we'd all be watching now that Christina is undergoing his sex change.
Rumor has it, he’s getting a 13 inch
I just learned of twitters intent to ban blocks. 😊Tom's back in! We're going to Garths!
if bert wants he can adopt me and feed me ❤
"It's just me and the Truth"😂🤣😂
Tom's kids are future serial killers.......
As soon as they learn daddy can buy them out of anything, Uday and Qusay Hussein will look like an after-school special compared to them.
😅😅😅
You ask how to keep kids- kids at heart. I think showing them you can still be a kid at heart is the best example. We let life run out emotions and physical everyday life. Sometimes it's just okay to exist and nothing more. I played a video game from my childhood yesterday. It brought me so much join to feep like i was a little kid again playing video games on my grandma's bed. We all grow up too soon. Just keep loving life, loving everything around you. It's all we have.
Honestly bert has been growing on me recently. Justice for barfbag
Shh
Everyone needs to watch The Goonies the fat. Kid is absolutely burnt in every way. It's mannerisms, his parents, he's eating his insecurity.
Remember when this podcast was funny, and not just bragging THE WHOLE SHOW.
Things change, you can change your watching habits too.
I personally enjoyed the bit about their dads and growing up etc.
Granted they’re not all hits haha Bart can get a little grainy and Tim is his own issue sometimes.
If it’s too much bragging or empty talk about celebrities they know it’s all good, I feel you on that, I say vote with your feet and watch something else, make them earn back your viewership.
When the fun stops, stop.
Either way have a great day, try Bad Friends, some of the older episodes around ep 100 are hilarious
But to each their own x
@@axis1393 ya I have. I just check in once in a while for like the last 2 years or something. Still the same... I literally saw every episode for a long while, but cant do it anymore.
I just realized that Tom is Bert’s therapist
Wanna play a game? Close your eyes and guess what you hear… is it a birds matting call, Asian porn, or Bert laughing?
always the asian porn
Lmfaooo
Bert is Bobby from king of the hill! 😂 be yourself Bertybear!
Lmao easy Bert. Nobody is stealing ur bits.
😂😂
The only bit he has is the machine story. Other than that, not a damn thing he says is funny.
His bit*
Other than that? The machine story isn't funny either.@@tenshunn
Look at the upgrades from the first load of episodes from a table to leather sofas congratulations guys
LeeAnn K. Being a buzzkill at up close magic is so funny
It is funny seeing Tom validate LeeAnn being a wet blanket like Bert is always saying she is 😂
Holy crap why are you people hating on Bort so much and still watching his show😂😂😂😂
Think of it as exposure therapy
Hearing Bert say his tests have never looked better and hes super healthy made me feel like hes gonna die this week or something 😂
I started a drinking game everytime Bert laughs like a crazy person you take a drink. Its seems tooo bee wrokkking ot prttey goood so fra yu should tyr it!
Bert laughing that hard at when Tom was talking about an allowance is so over the top
Can’t believe this but I’m going to highly agree with Bert on the doctor thing…when he was talking about the dental work and saying he might die first instead 😂😂😂
The story of Tom having to work through college while his sister got allowance is so true lol. My family was the same way, used to piss me off as a teen/young adult.
CELIAAAAAAAA
1:06:12 Tom, i ask myself that frequently watching bert too😂
Bert is so delusional and narssasistic it's literally insane. It's has to be super annoying being friends with that dude.
Only Bart would consider water picking your gums until they bleed as a positive thing😂
"Insert cliche negative statement about Bert here"
Like every other desperate for attention do nothing 😉