Mom, the Day You Abandoned Me Still Hurts! | KARAMO
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- Опубликовано: 12 фев 2023
- Hannifah’s childhood was traumatic after her mother Syretta abandoned her and she ended up in the system. Hannifah has struggled with depression, bullying, and instability. Now that Hannifah is a mother herself, she’s ready to face off against her mom. Will these women mend ways, or will they walk away from each other?
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This and your video on the young lady who was 14 and arrested 4times...
Have drawn me closer to speaking out for resolve.
At 11 my step father tried to rape me, a week after him and my mother got married.
I was taken from my mother and given back after investigation.
He was a sheriff and had been put on "desk duty" so he left that Jon and worked on Naval Base as Police.
At 16, he raped me.
Instead of me telling my mom and going through investigation again, I asked her to come in my room the morning after assault happened.
I was having a hard time walking and couldn't pick up my son. I had bruises on the inside of BOTH thighs.
I asked her what it looked like...
She Said "HANDPRINTS"
I told her what happened the night before with her husband coming in my room while I was sleep, asking for my covers.
She said, perhaps I bumped into something in my room.
However, I quickly pointed out my mattress was on the floor and all dressers were against the wall! There was NOTHING THE INSIDE OF MY THIGHS, WOULD HAVE BUMPED INTO THAT LOOKED LIKE HANDPRINTS!!
Now at 39 and have had those difficult discussions with my mom, having to tell my sons... even though we are currently "homeless" THEY CAN'T GO STAY WITH MY RAPIST!
My mom is still married to her husband, 2 of my son's live in my guardians duplex (upstairs from my mom's husband)
My 14 year old is being asked to leave because he is more introverted and the uncle they stay with has an extroverted family like my 16 year . ( My 14 year old son, is the one I first had that conversation with and decided to have with all of them, so they could grasp why I had certain requirements about them AND for when I came to the uncle's home to visit my children)
At this point, with all that has happened. Even wrote my mom's husband a father's day card a decade ago and he still has never apologized.
Plus, I want him and my mother to have that conversation in front of me...
My mom apologized and Said she didn't realize what was happening because he never presented himself in those manners with her.
Plus by him being "an officer and military personnel "
Would you Karamo be open to sharing one of your filmings, that are along the lines of what has been described.
I am not part of any "support" groups and I look forward to gaining healthier ways of being.
I'm praying for you baby
Karamo the best gift you gave that young lady is to tell her to remind herself to "BE YOUR OWN ROCK" I am talking from. experience.
The mother disgusts me. She will pay for her mistakes. You can heal and keep moving.
This poor baby. Someone taught her to be strong despite this woman’s horrid “parenting “
This woman is a pure example of screaming isn't always disrespect, it is pain.
So true.
Lie... The girl is thinking about herself. And being disrespectful is screaming at your mother when you want something from her.. you brought her on the show to bully her into saying sorry..
@@Ugoufinite Uh-uh. Now I know you see that her mother IS AND HAS BEEN disrespectful to her daughter. The daughter is in pain from what her mother caused her to have. She has every right to yell. She's just getting everything off her chest. Be better.
I don't think she wants this resolved, she could be calm and have a discussion with her mum, but she being disrespectful will never bring the right outcome...
@@Ugoufinite YEARS of pain and abandonment will eventually make someone explode with emotions. Her mother deserved everything she got with her narcissistic self. Stop defending a narcissist.
"YOURE STILL TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF! WHHHY!?" Ugh, I felt that in my bones.
😢😢 frfr
😢
Ugh yes
There's a time and place for talk about yourself. We do it all the time. When you do it at the wrong time and place, that will come across as narcissistic. It also makes you look extremely solipsistic.
THIS
The daughter is 100% VALID and the mom needs to be held accountable for child neglect.
The mom mentioning her orthopedic shoes when her daughter asked did she watch her learn how to walk is BLOWINGGG me lmao
Professional victim fr that was crazy!
The fact that she said “I couldn’t even walk.” YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND WATCH YOUR CHILD WALK
@@superkay4421smh, facts
I laughed at her late excuse😂🤣
I was so damn mad she makes me so sick! Like what the hell does that got to do with anything? 😂🤣
This isn't the drugs. It's the woman. She's just a narcissistic human being. She's using drugs as an excuse for being a shitty parent. No apologies, no acknowledgement, nothing. My heart goes out to this young woman. I hope you heal and be happy in your life.
1000% AGREED
100% facts my mother was on drugs and still tried her hardest to be a good mom even while dealing with her vices. There’s no excuse
Very true narcs will never change.
See a woman with a cane I had physical condition before I even had my daughter so it was always a drug for pain and treatment ❤❤
The mother is so irritating to me. SHE IS NOT LISTENING TO HER DAUGHTERS PAIN.
She broke a generational curse well done proud of her 👏
By screaming and being mad disrespectful ????? Yeah right😂 what a joke!!!
@@Krystal.Pascal7 disrespectful? You still don't get it do you? The child wants to be heard. Most parents will always activate "disrespectful" "i raised you" "i carry you for 9 months" card while in fact it is their choice and most importantly its their RESPONSIBILITY to do so. Your child is there for you to become a better parent. Plus the mother in the video is playing victim and gaslighting the child. So stupid of you for thinking like that
@@Krystal.Pascal7 it's not disrespectful to show your frustration to your parents especially when you know they are doing wrong. Parents are not always right. Do better
@@Krystal.Pascal7 she (mother) doesn't even care what her daughter feeling even with she (daughter) screamed her lung out. When people demand something from someone, the person who being asked usually answer based on what the other person demand off, but her (mother)?? Nah, she even talked about her brother being murdered and others, doesn't have any ounce of care for her daughter while her daughter only want her affection. Yeah, the mother has been through hard life, but it doesn't mean that she raise her child that way and make her child suffer what she's been through
Well no cause the daughter is doing drugs
I think it's insane, when the daughter asked "Have you seen me take my first steps?" And her response was I can't even walk. That's when you know she's a narcissistic mother who has too much pride, even for her daughter. The thing that got me was when her mother asked her, "Have you tried drugs?" And her daughter responded with no because of you! Her mother is foul and really doesn't gaf.
Yeah, what was the moms point- "you aren't better than me. If you did drugs you'd get addicted to"? No shit, the thing that makes her "better" is that she didn't even try them because she knew it was a big risk.
First step second step etc. Who what when where how.. doesn't it makes sense to talk about thy self . That answered the who. Now what the issue is.
She said she smoked weed what part did u miss. And she allegedly she is addicted and she just doesn't agree with her mom drug that she was born with. So what I am hearing if her mom smoked weed the daughter would be fine. ? I best most get friends get high and don't give darn. One thing for sure people who smoke weed over and behind here what they think they hear.bthe brain slows down. I bet she can't go a day with out social media or a cell phone. Now who really is addicted. Just because she has a chance to see her baby walk doesn't mean she can catch her if she falls. Hello. So stop and by the way did she smoke weed while she was pregnant? Don't be know fool because this is so ial media.
@@lankenstein5884I hate that you ain't know better than me. That wasn't the question. It's a opinion. Doesn't make it a fact. I didn't hear anyone sincerely say they love each other and want to etc. the same applies to relationships every one wants to be right. The devil is lie. Now get educated to understand and stop putting people down at anything. That's not loving humble empathy
Most importantly be spiritually still and pray and forgive thy self. Understand to be understood. Everything is blamed on parents the home.well . United States of America is a mansion,home! And it's obvious drugs are a multi billion business. The cell phone is a addiction worse than any drug .. it's like heroin, cocaine which I believe in my opinion bfir those who had the privilege became addicted to coke a cola,. Makes me wonder suger coffee tobacco and coka cola and sex and money. Please .. and moon shine. . People who wanna blow up innocent people and children etc. have some kinda of ?? . Don't forget in order to see the affect of a drug got to have been pigs.
"I had a very traumatic life and my daughter has to understand I didn't ask for my life to be like that..." omg, your daughter didn't ask for it either! This woman had the power and opportunities every day to turn her life around to give her daughter a stable life and a better mom. All it takes is consistency and faith that the work will pay off.
“…but she needs to understand…” I knew from that moment on, it was a lost cause.
"im sorry you felt that way about what i did" is NOT an apology. "i apologize for what i did and what it did to you" IS an apology. the mom did not apologize one bit.
no taking action to right wrongs is a TRUE apology
@@Unknown-lp9mu I agree that taking action is an ideal apology. That said what the first pointed out is the minimum apology someone can do and if a person can't even do that then are they truly sorry?
Literally she’s just invalidating what her daughter is saying
Yup she only worded it like that so she wouldn’t take accountability
My mother and grandmother say the exact same thing, and it's truly debilitating. I don't think narcissists can change, so I've decided to just cut contact.
The mother is so stuck in her own self-pity where she cannot have empathy for her own daughter.
Narcissist
Well said
No shes a narc
Literally, but I get it .. the mom only see’s life from her perspective and so does the daughter, sometimes it’s hard to understand another persons pain especially when you’re blinded by your own … I feel for the both of them.
@@fashionizkee8734 that’s what a narc is ..
I wanna hug that poor baby! She been through so much. All she needed was a “baby I apologize for hurting you.” And that’s it!
For real! We are healing all alone and we can't fully feel complete until that apology even when we don't want it we NEED it and they still won't. It's so unfair ❤
“You should respect me!”
A parent should respect a child also, it’s not just one way which is what many parents think.
She should respect her mom didnt abort her
@@donathageorge6551 you are defending a deadbeat parent who didn't care about their child's education nice
@@donathageorge6551 respect should be earned
@@donathageorge6551respect goes both ways tho
@@donathageorge6551clearly you would easily choose drugs over your own child with no hesitation
All the mom had to do was say “I’m sorry”. The daughter was willing to let go of all the hurt and pain for a simple exchange of …. “I’m sorry”. How evil can you be to withhold an apology so deserved.
She said she been apologized After an apology there’s nothing else but forgiveness and healing from the other end
She apologized.
The mom said she apologized for the lapse in not having a relationship with her daughter caused by her drug use, she also said she apologized for the hurt she caused her through her addiction but she thanked God that her mother took care of her inspite of her own addiction. The daughter is rude and disrespectful she cursed her and tried to belittle her, she wasn't talking about herself, she was trying to get this selfish child to understand that if she had been in her right state of mind she would have done better. The girl was still yelling and she didn't want to talk to her mother to mother or mother to daughter she appeared to only want to try and make her mother look bad, she was over talking her mother and said her grandmother apologized to her over 21 years ago, how does she know? She's only 24, also she said her mother put her in dangerous situations, yet she never said she was molested or anything, the daughter is disrespectful and totally rude.
@@denisewilliams3340 "I apologize if you feel some kind of way..." Is not an apology
@@denisewilliams3340 Just because she wasn’t molested doesn’t mean she wasn’t traumatized…
I felt that “I bounce between being that 15 year girl and the grown me”. So deep. She has a lot of self-awareness. I love you queen. So proud of you.
Such a relatable comment
This! That hit hard to me
My mom wasn’t an addict but the stubbornness and self pity, manipulation, etc keeps me in that same loop I have yet to grieve for our relationship but I’m understanding that as a mom of six, I really have to heal that little girl who just didn’t feel the love and worthy of it.
The mother will cry but alone and sad. The mother is so damaged
Broke my heart, she needs just hugs and love
"I apologize if you feel some type of way"
Aint a apology. Point blank.
The mother refuses to acknowledge her role in her daughters life because she had it worse than her daughter? That’s not drugs. She’s just a self centered bitter loveless person, and I’m so proud of Hannifah.
Her screams are so powerful and potent. You can feel the anger and sadness in it.
Yes I felt every bit of her pain
I felt it so deeply, had tp pause the video
man it made me cry
I agree but if she ever wants to heal she has to be willing to listen. She wasn’t even listening when Karamo tried to explain the side effects of her mother’s addiction.
I feel so much empathy for this young woman acceptence is hard to swallow when your not ready to loose someone and wish things could of been different I hope this young lady finds the courage to pick up her life when this sad chapter of her life has closed and hope the new chapter in her life brings her better things in life and makes her stronger and able to deal with things in a better way and wish her all the blessings God can give her and her daughter and partner and the rest of the family life's a funny thing who knows what possative surprised and unexpected blessings are around the corner God moves in mysterious ways
The poor daughter is talking about how she is so present in her own daughter's life that she's experienced her first steps - something her mom was unable to do for her. The mom's response "You think you're better than me; ...drugs..., I can't walk, orthopedic shoes..." everything under the sun but an apology. 🙁
She basic answered the mom's question about being better than her through how she is there for her daughter and the fact that weed is the only thing she smokes for her anxiety but nothing further than that to become like her. It's amazing the mom didn't even listen to anything that she said. And what made me freeze was when the mom asked "have you been on drugs" or something along the lines. I was like, do you really wish for your daughter to be a drug addict like you to understand you? She understands but she never heard a 'im sorry'.
And yes her daughter is better than her
Crazy thing is , the mom is acting like she had no control of the drugs. She did. Drugs are something you choose, whether it was peer pressure, growing up with family using , etc.
I feel like even in another reality where the mother was not suffering from drug addiction, she still has that huge ego and wouldn’t be able to be a good mother…
@@rickyo7061AGREED. I understand that people go through things and that people make bad choices sometimes. But you cannot use it as a crutch and you cannot use that to justify your own wrong doings.
Karamo missed a major note when saying the daughter needed more time to understand her mother’s state of mind. She put in the time over the years of pain and abuse. There’s major narcissism elements in that mother’s behavior.
Bravo to this young woman!
i think he was jus trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but after everything i’m sure he’d take it back
No he knows. He just not going to go back n forth with her
Agreed.
I got Karamo point. It is not justifying the behavior, but understanding that her mother is not the mother she imagines. Yes you mentally can understand how drugs can affect someone, but you can't understand how YOU as a kid could be affected by an adult decision to use drugs. Most of us are presented with what a parent should look like, but when you don't get that it causes a rejection, you can't really process and understand how THEY can't do it but U can. That's what he meant. That's why at the end he told her to grieve, say goodbye to that parent U wanted to then be able to accept the parent U have (I mean accept the reality of who she is as a person, awful, but she is who she is outside of what you may want as a child)
as a former addict, i can say it is EXTREMELY important to apologize to those you have hurt with your addiction. period.
That woman is disgusting. Even in her daughter’s pain and tears, she couldn’t even reach out to ATTEMPT to calm her. What mother does that. She’s pushing everything to drugs which was even a choice she made. She’s so pathetic.
I’m happy for the courage of the young smart lady .
My both parents do this, it's awful
Lies Aerts I'm so sorry ,i wish you nothing but the best and hopefully you break this cursed cycle if you have kids ❤
Addiction to drugs is not a choice. It’s a disease. She said she started when she was a teen, the first time might be a bad choice but then she is just sick. Some people never heal from addiction. Your brain is changed forever and But on the rest I agree, she’s being so closed to her daughter and so defensive of herself. It’s just not right. No contact is the only safe option.
I hope everyone gets therapy! That girl really said « that generational trauma is not me » and rose up the challenge. She can be proud of herself.
@@schwap7210being a parent to young children and teenagers and being an addict is a choice in the sense that if you weren't a selfish parent you wouldn't have ever put yourself in the position to be an addict. You choose to drink every night, you choose to take drugs regularly. Most drugs you cannot immediately become addicted to, it happens over time and if that choice comes at the expense of your children's happiness, safety and love then you chose to do that to them. There's no excuse to be an addict as a parent.
She reminds me of my own mother
As a child in a household where my mom puts up through the same stuff, I HATE when people give my mom slack cause she had a tough childhood. Just cause she had it bad doesn’t mean she NEEDS TO TREAT US BAD.
I gave my mom slack until I couldn’t anymore. She selfishly holds on to trauma and hurts other ppl without care. I can’t continue to sympathize with a unsympathetic person
Yea bro, if you take the trauma and pain youve been dealt and ACTIVELY pass that on, youre a piece of shit and undeserving of respect for your pain until you take full responsibility for what pain youve caused, and even at that, your children do not need to accept you or accept the thought of "well mom was abused so thats why she did it to me" thats the reason why she did it, doesnt mean thats an acceptable excuse for why it was Ok or something like wtf. I didnt like how Karamo was consoling the mother in that moment because the mom is not lucid u feel me? She has let her ego and narcissistic disorder completely take over her, she aint some regular person anymore imo and her evil actions need to be acknowledged and called out, if he really wanted to do some healing and not further silence the daughter, that shoulda been his approach. The mom aint worth saving if she doesnt wanna save herself
Amen!!! ❤
And the fact that we (people that went through similar as her) can become good to other proves that our mothers could have to, they chose not to
Yes growing up and reflecting I’m 19 And I do this so it’s makes me extremely mad to see my 36 year old mom do BS and then really think they are and actual adult
I had a traumatic life as well, & I still treat my son like a human being. This mother is straight trash. I hope this young lady excells in everything she puts her hands to.
I just love how considerate the host was to the daughter. he knew the mom had to go and keep the daughter from feeling anymore pain. Then he comforted her and gave her some solid advice. Cudos to this host. Better than any dr. phil I’ve watched
Myself and my siblings were raise by a narcissistic mother. She was on drugs and a drunk and slept around our entire childhood. We were treated so badly, constantly telling us what pos’s we were, never such a thing as Xmas, birthdays etc etc
Her husband left her, none of her 4 children or 6 grandchildren speak to her. She lives alone in a trailer on her baby sister’s property (the only person that still has anything to do with her)
The day I chose to remove her from my life was when I told her do you realize you’ve never apologized to any of us for anything you’ve done to us. She said I’ve never done anything I need to apologize for. I was done with her that day.
I wish she would do a little self reflection but I’ve given up on that ever happening.
Sometimes no matter how bad you want something it just will not happen. You have to let it go and focus on being the best parent you can to your children.
People with narcissistic parents get it.
There's nothing more frustrating than being emotionally drained and hurt by your parent, only for them to completely disregard or deny your experiences. You'll never get through to them. Narcissists don't change. All you can do is heal and be better than them.
100% right!!
So true. Narcissists don’t change. The sooner I learned this, the better off I was
Only Jesus can give them a brand new heart. I am tearing up for this girl. I hope they get her some therapy.
It’s so sad be cause I dated a narc and his mom was so manipulative and it made him the same hurt This young lady def need counseling because that was traumatizing
Yes, omg
Self-pitying mother. Narcissistic. Selfish. Doesn't love her daughter. I pray this young lady remains strong and shows herself and her daughter what a woman can overcome and become. She is extremely articulate. Completely understand her anger when her terrible mother refused to acknowledge and comprehend her daughter's pain. Her daughter doesn't have to understand crap. You have no choice but to walk away from your mother.
AMEN❤❤❤
May God bless you and no one understands unless they have experienced the struggle ❤❤being handicap having children is always some difficultly no exceptions for those who just use drugs because they want to use
The mother has a story of abuse and neglect to tell as well. She does not know HOW to be there for her daughter. It's not for us to say whether she loves her.
Your right your comment is spot on. So fed up of these people saying oh the mother made mistakes. Excuses excuses. Only people who have experienced narc abuse will EVER understand. Her daughter don't have to understand jack. She is a dead beat mother. It's cold what I'm saying but she takes no responsibility. I am your mother now. Her mother is a NARC.
She has NO respect for her mother bro. I can see why.The Bible says Do not provoke your children to wrath. Oh we conveniently forgot about that didn't weeeeeeeeee.
You can tell that she turns back into that kid that didn't feel supported or fought for. So sad. I hope she heals well and I believe she's a great mother.
Every kid deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a kid
This woman is a different level of narcissism and lack of accountability. The fact she can sit there while her daughter is pouring out her pain and STILL make it about her is beyond infuriating
The way her mother acts from the start has me on edge... The demeanor is scary
@starsonapollo5281 Seriously!!! I feel most mother's may feel one way but the second you see your child in pain it breaks any cold exterior you may have had
@@starsonapollo2 Narcs are in full demon mode honestly. Theyre scary because they act like a regular person with empathy and a heart, and then whenever they start switching up on you, and whenever you realize whats happening and fight back, you see their true selves emerge, Thyere a shell of a human, nothing there behind them souless eyes. Trying desperately to keep control of the narrative and you see they never really meant any of the friendship or love they gave
Mother is a narc -wow
She on TV she can't fold lol. I'm serious tho
It’s not the drugs, the mother is a narcissist even now she make’s everything about her. Her daughter asks “can you say you saw me walk?” Then mom says “well I couldn’t walk I had orthopedic shoes” ma’am wtf does that have to do of whether you were there for your baby. And she can’t even say sorry for her past! Ridiculous. I hope this young woman finds healing because a narcissist mother will never give that!
I caught that as well. She doesn’t care about anyone but her self. It’s so sad
I think the mother is still using most ppl who’ve been clean or recovering from drug addiction, are remorseful for the pain and suffering, they’ve put their family through. She lowkey giving vibes that’s she still using.
Ive noticed addicts tend to be narcissistic, i think whatever drives them to "use" also causes them to be consumed and obsessed with their pain. so much so that nothing else (or anyone else) can ever matter as much as their personal pain.
Malignant, classic narcissist! I pray that the daughter heals 🙏🏾
Love this comment
The moment she snapped, i felt all her anger, disappointment and frustration bursting out. It's heartbreaking to see someone suffers so much like that. hugs for the girl.
This lady is the epitome of "it's everyone else's fault not mine"
“YOUR’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT YOUSELF WHYYYYYYY” that part got me In tears 🥺
Listen to what happened robbed at gunpoint she was in foster care because of that not my fault it's a problem which caused this and yes the person that should apologize is the person who robbed us
@@syrettabastien9575girl no you should apologize, apologize to the child you didn't give love to apologize to the child who couldn't express her feelings because her mother was so rooted in party party that no bodys problems matter but her own, you was a terrible mother and because your childhood was hard and because your adult life was hard don't give you no excuse to treat that girl like that. You learn from mistakes made by those around you and you better yourself so it don't happen to you. Now just because you got held at gunpoint don't mean to get to invalidate her own trauma just because you can't walk don't mean that the moments of her first steps didn't mean nothing that was supposed to be your babygirl and you and you alone are to fault for how she was treated and you don't get to pity yourself and say oh woh is me because you could've changed and you didn't you aren't the victim here she was. Your battles are over and yet you hung them over that poor girls head because you're a narcissist. You should've apologized instead of making it about you. Because it wasn't about you it was about your daughter
The mother really made me upset because her whole demeanor from the time she walked on that stage and sat down was disgusting! Your daughter is trying and crying out to you for you to hear her and you have yet to apologize for the emotional pain you’ve caused! Yes I understand the mom was going through a rough time but NOW is the time be a grown woman and apologize to your child! Saying “I wouldn’t be here” is very disrespectful in my eyes
She has gone through rehab they teach you how to better self, but not how to heal the family
I am sad for both of them. The daughter has to grieve the loss of her relationship with her mum because the mum is not ready to mend the relationship. The mum was trying but she can't come out of her brokenness enough to meet with her daughter. I pray that they get the right mediator to bring them both out of the deep pain they experienced in their lives.
And the way she was fake crying offstage - I was immediately done with her
This is so incredibly sad... I know exactly what the daughter wants, and she will probably never get it. Her mother is actually more broken than she is. The mother is just hardened as a defense mechanism. I think it's easier for her to be hard than to feel or acknowledge what her daughter is going through because her own pain has never been dealt with.
@@monifagilbert3613 she needs to grieve the relationship the relationship is lost. the mother is a lost cause
I'm 3rd generation white trash to put it bluntly, and my mom is just like this chick. Got me tearing up over here. I feel her pain. I try to forgive, but once you have kids, you look at them and wonder how she could've put you in all those situations. Narcissism is a wall they put between you and their addiction. I've been on both sides now, but I still can't forgive everything.
I hope you are treating your inner child like a child of your own as well. Give him all the love he missed out on. Security, love, respect, and everything wonderful. One day at a time ❤
So many of us had to go out and figure this sht out right.
“Why you talkin bout yourself?!” The amount of times I’ve wanted to tell my mother that in immeasurable, I can’t imagine how good she must’ve felt finally asking that
I’m really appreciate Karamo getting the mom off the stage once her daughter said she doesn’t want her in her life anymore. Helping with those boundaries from the jump!
Yes!!! 👏👏
Exactly‼️‼️‼️
He was tired of her in just those few minutes, so just imagine what Hannifah had to experience.
Its so refreshing to see a talkshow host actually advocate for the person who just needs someone else to stand up for them and validate their pain, instead of re-traumatizing their guests for dramatic effect and money.
Right
This 24 y/o woman is my hero. Breaking generational curses baby ❤️
I just love her
I feel her !
definitely!
She's a queen and she's so young
She is a single mother 🤔 in poverty no doubt
But after all her fam issues: she went head first into poverty D. So now, she created another broken baby girl/boy. Life choices are hard but if you keep yourself as priority- most of the BS will fly past you ❣️💎
To not even be able to say "I'm sorry that I hurt you." Poor girl.
As soon as she started talking my blood boiled. "I had a very tramatic life that I had no control over", sorry to say ma'am but thats when you learn from the life you had and make changes to where you can be a better mother and give your daughter the life you never had. That victim mentality dont fly when you are an adult and have children. Her daughter has done for her daughter what her mother should have done for her. Accountability is everything!!
The fact that Karamo respected the daughter’s boundary of not wanting to have contact with her mom anymore & he got her off stage. That’s amazing because most people would definitely be like “that’s still your mom.. you gotta respect her.”
Fr, and it’s annoying as hell.
Yeah fr, like Dr. Phil in the pst got mad at a girl because she asked why her mother was on the stage or invited to the show or something. And he got mad and was like “I invite whoever I want on this show.” And I think this girl had some kind of animosity or trauma with her mother.
@@madamehoefyre1808i hate dr. phil with a passion. he feel like he knows everything and he’s so goddamn disrespectful too
No I seriously like how he conducted this entire exchange. I forget this man has a whole degree and profession surrounding therapy and interpersonal relationships! He did a great job supporting Hannifah, getting her to hear her mother without compromising herself and recognizing the best next steps- even if that meant leaving her mother behind (thank goodness she did)
that part! If I only had a dollar for every time someone said “but that’s still your mom”…
with a narcissistic parent i understand her. this woman is saying “you didnt go through what i had to go through and your pain is not as bad as what my pain is so you dont deserve to be that angry” im so glad shes broke that generational curse and is a good mother for her daughter despite what her mother put her through
That's what I fight for every single day, to get to the point where I move out and become a mother, and raise my kids better than my parents have raised me. I strive to break generational curses cause they couldn't break their own
I’m not sure she has broken the curse she’s already admitted she smokes weed a door opener to heavy drugs
@@jaynesh2008Thats true, but seeing the way she was in the video I highly doubt she would ever to that to her child.
@@ElmoInUrWalls really most never want to but most ends up it’s natural if you don’t get help, she admitted to smoking weed why does she take that if she intends to not be like her mother the truth be told she will end up like that if she doesnt give up the weed and get therapy quick.
@@jaynesh2008weed is NOT a gateway drug. 80% of people who smoke weed will NEVER touch another drug.
This is the epitome of generational trauma… it’s keeps being passed down till someone acknowledges and faces the pain and breaks the cycle. The daughter is breaking the cycle. I wish her peace and healing.
Even tho the daughter is a grown woman now. That baby needed this! Get it out baby! You are a great mother to your own. You broke the cycle baby. I am proud of you!
"I watched my daughter walk" I felt that because when my son was a toddler sick with a fever and I had to rock his hot crying self to sleep I said to myself "my mom never did this for me" It's those moments I respect a woman for being a mother.
happy belated mother’s day !
Mum's don't usually do that for daughters they do it for sons. Daughters practically raise themselves and repeat the toxic cycle of neglect and abandonment with their daughters
@dearbrave4183 Well, I only have 2boys but I most certainly have 2 nieces that I have done that exact same for and helped raised them as my own.
@@1991MekaI'm glad you're showing them all love and compassion. Glad you made that step to better yourself. Much love
The screaming and voice tone do not help.
People seem to forget respect is earned no matter your title as “Mother” You get what you give
Exactly! Respect is earned, no matter who you are
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤❤ Exactly
Generationally and sometimes they would bring religion into it and guilt children for feeling betrayed by not getting the love and emotional support from their parents that they deserve.
One example is the idea that disrespecting your mother set you a path of hell and mothers use that to their advantage to set whatever level of toxicity they can have to their children because no child of hers can disrespect her
We have to STOP making excuses for parents saying “oh they didn’t know how to do this or you can’t expect YOUR parents to show YOU showing that they didn’t have.” Some stuff is just common sense I feel for this girl we the same age I totally can relate to her she’s hurt.
As a woman with a traumatic childhood, there is no excuse to cause repeated trauma for my daughter. Her emotional needs will Always trump mine. My heart hurts for this young lady.
Her whimpers broke me. She’s so strong.
Me too. It got really hard to watch toward the end and keep listening to the mom talking about herself and watching this young woman get let down again.
That woman still has addict ways.. Kudos to those of us who survived the narcissistic mothers of that generation 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
We are strong and kind
❤
Survived but not thriving
@@inherblues7261 keep strong and do the self-work. It gets better, promise
@@inherblues7261 I know it sounds cliche but therapy does work! Don't know where I'd be without it
“You are your own rock”. The power in that is everything and shit something I struggle with on and off. Her pain was very very powerful. I hope she can pull the strength up to be everything she’s ever wanted other ppl to be for her❤️❤️❤️
From what I see she can do it
This reminds me of my mom... I feel so bad for this young woman. She's not being selfish, she's not being controlling, she set firm boundaries and recognized her value and in that she's seeing that her mother doesn't have a place in her life. I wish I would have had the courage to do the same. I hope she and her daughter and flourishing in everything that they do 🥰
i used to fight with my mom a lot and she didnt get along with my granny. now my mama has passed away and there is nothing i wouldnt give to go back and redo some things. i cry every day. I warn u, even little disagreements eat at u, haunt u when shes gone. Please do all u can to make amends. Try to encourage her to be tenderhearted, empathetic with u, to work with u on better communication, better words and better understanding and to not hold grudges. Let her know u love her and are just trying to get along with her and to help her. Your relationship with her is precious. Please i beg u to do all u can to try to make it work with her. U dont get her back when shes gone, passed away, 6 feet under. Then, there are no more chances, no more hugs, no more time, no more having her company. i would give every penny i have or anything, to have even another minute with my mama. I pray u make the most of your time with her and that u and your mom, heal your relationship. i dont think any relationship is beyond repair. God bless u.
@@amandagrace4461 Sweet sentiments, but every situation is different. We're close now though. She's right up on my shelf.
She can’t ask for respect as a mother when she doesn’t mother her child.
Thank you !
Right April 👍
okay dont respect her as a mother, respect her as an adult who you want to have a conversation with. what is the point of asking me to come on a show so i can be disrespected. the daughter is insane to think that is okay. no one else would sign up for being publicly yelled at or shamed so why should she?
@@supersenpainovablaze7078 she deserve it
@@supersenpainovablaze7078 She obviously did sign up 😭 also the girl was TRAINED to yell. She didn’t come out yelling. She yells because she obviously wouldnt be heard even if she talked slowly.
"Just because you had a shit parent, doesn't mean you get to be a shit parent". My mom needs to hear this. I got so tired of hearing that excuse every time she put her hands on me. I hope the best for this woman. Even if her mom never changes, I hope she can work on herself and be a better parent for her child. If you have a terrible parent, ALWAYS strive to be better. Don't repeat history. Her mother is pathetic and I'm so upset for Hannifah.
#IAmSorryThatYouAreGoingThroughtThatRightNow
#PleaseLeaveAndMakeABetterLifeForYourself
#YouAreWorthyAndLovedAlways
I’m sorry that your “PARENT” is putting hands on you and I hope you get to the opportunity to escape such an environment
Exactly amen some people shouldn’t be parents
I 💯 agree some people just don’t see that
Narcissist mom
"I cannot apologize for my past"
And
"I fully apologize if you feel some type of way about what I was traumatized about"
Wow. Wooooooow.
I’m sending love and positive healing energy to this girl. I truly wish the best for her. “You are your own rock”
"I apologize IF you feel some kind of way..." is NOT an apology. The mom is absolutely ridiculous.
When the right way would be I apologize for having made you feel some kind of way.
literally
This mother is a prime example of why not everyone should be a parent and I just wanted to give the young lady a hug
Well we don't know her story. Maybe she was raped, assaulted, etc.
Same, plus am also grieving a living toxic mom
I have a mother like that,she's even ashamed of walking with me,when I visit her.
This how my mama treat me I just spoke out
“I apologise for how my trauma made *you feel* “ MMM Just that SLIGHT edge to it pushing the blame right back to you, this woman is not apologising, and she never truly care.
This hit so close to home, I feel for that young woman and her pain. I know it’s hard to hear someone who neglected you tell you to respect them. It’s angering to see her refuse to acknowledge the pain she inflicted and apologize. She’s going to be okay though because you can see her strength. Keep raising your daughter right, you got this sweetie! ❤
Notice how the mom says "I apologize" but not "I'm sorry" The mother refuses to take full accountability for her actions.
She really said “I apologize IF you felt some type of way about what I was traumatized about…” like wtf is that??? She is gaslighting to the max and taking no accountability!
@@nakkesha yess . Completely invalidated her daughter feelings . When her baby said “ did you get to see me walk “ and her reply was “well I couldn’t walk” my heart dropped to my stomach . I could never imagine doing ts to my kids .
@@nakkesha "I'm sorry you misinterpreted me/you're so weak."
Saying I’m sorry also implies that you feel empathy. She’s not comfortable with saying “I’m sorry” because she simply can not. In her mind, she has no empathy at all. She’s too busy empathizing with herself. She uses the word selfish against her when in reality she’s pitying herself.
We don't even know what she apologized for because she didn't say
"I bounce between the 15 year old girl and the grown woman me" that hit my soulllll
That statement brought me to tears.
@@klove_life_blessings literally tears falling down after that one 😭
me too!!
Same, it hit hard.
trust that made me burst into tears
The way her mother kept looking at Karamo, instead of her daughter who’s clearly in pain is so devastating.
Wow this woman is strong and incredibly smart and self aware. She learned quickly. I really think being on this show allowed her to accept what she already knew since 15.. that relationship is dead. She grieve it right then and there
her reaction to her mom’s “apology” LMFAO 10:29
shes so real for that. i hope she can heal completely and that she’s doing alright now
I’m glad she processed it too when she basically said “sorry you fell that way” my stomach dropped
She can only heal after her mom is ripped apart atom by atom.
@@Hewasno1 yea.. murder is a no no so
@@VlueberryBlue who said anything about murder? That's for humans. This needs some Suspiria-level shit. That mom's a witch and deserves to be disemboweled like one.
@@VlueberryBlueWhen she left the first time she was rubbing her hand like if she didn’t leave she was going to start swinging and like yeah I’m so mad I couldn’t beat her pathetic mom for her.
"can you stand and say you watched me walk?" well "I couldn't walk, i had orthopedic shoes".... "you're the only parent in the house" "you're not gonna tell me i wasn't robbed at gun point."........ ma'am be so fr right now. this is exactly what she means when she said she makes everything about her.
Fr. Like did your daughter do that to you??? what’s that gotta do with your CHILD. That lady is crazy
That shit irritated me SO bad 😫
FR FR
“Can you say that you watched your daughter walk?”
Mom: “Well I couldn’t walk”
😫😩💔😭
What was that even about? I didn’t see the whole episode. One’s talking about first steps, and the other talking about orthopedic shoes…
As someone who was raised by a narcissistic mother i feel her 100%. They will never take ownership of their actions. I dealt with the blame, the abuse, and being her pushing bag all my life until one day I had enough and had to cut her out of my life. Now, I'm a mother myself and I cant imagine doing the things thats
my mom did to me to my own daughter, what's funny is that she still calls me selfish and and ungrateful, when i was the one who bought ALL the furniture she has at her place, paid the bills, took her shopping, and even gave her my 2 dogs, and still had the audacity to say i was the ungrateful one smh. Since cutting her out of my life, my marriage has grown stronger, i finally feel free, and finally have control over my own life. I'm so proud of that girl for breaking the barriers and confronting her mom and ultimately cutting her out of her life.
That girl’s mother is a textbook narcissist. She’s screaming & saying she just wants her mom to apologize for the pain she caused & that woman flat out refused & talked around it. I feel for Hanifa, honestly & I’m proud of her for being a better mother to her child.
Self control ,just how the child can stay away from drugs and break the curse she can . They neeeeed Jesus .
@@alziedownes1955 wtf
Absynthe: The mother is not a NARCISSIST. The mother has a painful past as well and you are listening to hurt people. Did the grandmother ever talked to her daughter?
Have the grandmother ever say to her daughter sorry!
You don’t know the mother’s history?
You have no idea what she went through?
So, leave the name calling out!
Would or could you have done better if you place yourself in her shoes?
I guess no!
STOP IT !
@Happiness In Heart she's clearly a narcissist. The signs are all there. If you can't see what everyone else sees, then I don't what to say 🤷♀️ I'm mean some people from abusive homes become narcissistic.
@@happinessinheart5340 she is.
This was powerful. Her mom is rooted in her own ego. She cant see anything else but her world and issues and has zero empathy for how her actions impacted her daughter.
She's rooted in shame that she refuses to face.
I came here just for this story. I feel this girls pain to my very core. I hope that she found peace and revisited the strength she had in her all along.
ppl r gonna call her immature for yelling and forget that explosive/outward anger expression is still a valid version of it.
Because ‘quiet/silent rage’ has become more popular and basically romanized, outward expression of the emotion is demonized.
The fact that she walked away when she COULD HAVE tried to hurt her mother DOES show maturity.
Emotional abuse can lead to outbursts, which are PERFECTLY FINE. It doesn’t make her immature nor does it make her a brat.
She’s so articulate about her feelings and her needs. I love that for her and am thankful for Karamo giving her sound advice. He’s thoughtful and knowledgeable 👏🏾👏🏾
Damn rdxcdr
All facts . Like this girl seems so sweet
Yeah when you grew up in a cycle of trauma u kinda become a low key genius
@@stoplayin21 Preach !
“Remind yourself you’re your own rock” is a good way to say don’t lean on people especially when you’re hurt bc if they let you down it hurts even worse
👏🏼
That part that makes me sad is that fact that she can only remain calm if she doesn't look at her. Like the daughter is pure right in everything. Most addicts are purely selfish, so while its not surprising its still not right to put your kids through it.
Having an addicted parent is hard. But having your lived experience not acknowledged from your only parent is a different kind of pain! I pray for this young lady!
She’s more into the fact she’s being “embarrassed” on the show in front of people then her own daughter’s emotions. True Narcissist! That’s what I had to deal with my mother. She’s the same age as me (24) & it feels good now knowing I wasn’t the only one going through this & im not the only one out here breaking my generational curse for my future children !
Nope 💕
@@lizzarts nope what?
@@amogusamogos She's not alone
The pain of watching your parent choose drugs over you is something that cannot not be compared to anything the fact that this generation is trying to overcome it is beautiful
Thank you
Much love to you
truth, my dad put drugs over us up until he died. my mom was caught in addiction half my life, i constantly wondered why i wasn’t good enough for them to choose me and my siblings. why i was so undeserving.. thankfully my mom has been sober for 8 years and has done everything in her power to make sure we are loved. i feel this girls pain and grief so much, to have lost a parent that is sitting right in front of you. so great that she is breaking those generational curses. 🩵🩵🩵
Unfortunately no one chooses drugs to take over their life, it’s an addiction and possibly the worst way to experience life. Now that her mum is sober, she has the choice to accept her daughters pain that was caused by her addiction, but her mum issn’t healed and chooses to focus on her own pain. Just heartbreaking
Seen a clip from the shorts and had to come watch the full video. I cried with the daughter because I resonate with her feelings so much. I needed this episode 💙
I left my home 2 years ago and honestly I can fully feel her pain. This awful woman reminds me so much of my own mother.. I almost cried when her daughter yelled WHY!!?? Because a narcissistic parent is a fight you cannot verbally win. Never ever. No arguing whatsoever can change their twisted reality. Love and Kind regards to the daughter and to everyone that knows how it feels to scream an not be heard. Stay Strong❤
The audacity of her mom to be crying in the beginning and then sit there and talk about herself and call her DAUGHTER selfish later on in the episode really gets me
They’re very good actors smh
@@ljackson24 sure
@@numberonetetofan Meaning, narcissistic mothers. It’s a whole dog and pony show smh
@@ljackson24 I thought you meant both her and the daughter lmao like this was all scripted. I was like no bruh I had a narcissistic mother I know ts is real 😭 but you right
This made me upset. This girl STILL didn't get what she needed... that mother is AWFUL!!!!! She CAN APOLOGIZE. She chooses not to apologize for her mistakes or for what she didn't know... man I hope that girl gets the healing she needs. I hope she heals with the love of her daughter ❤️
Thats my my r8t there, i alread removed her from my life issues and soon i will be moving out
I can't apologize for being a handicap parent and having operation whiched caused the use of drugs and having relationship being a single parent through out life I appreciate the comments it helps even to build a reflection on how to be better than you
@@syrettabastien9575 No you cant but you can apologize for not changing. Only you can truly grow as a person and this woman has not. A person who truly is getting better. Acknowledges their mistakes .
@@syrettabastien9575 stop playing the victim. None of those things had to do with your daughter. She still deserves an apology for what YOU AS A MOTHER didn’t take responsibility for. The fact that you still feel this way is proof that your daughter made the right decision in cutting you off. Having a mother that victimizes herself every single time her child brings up a concern, is one of the most traumatic things you can ever go through as a person.
@@syrettabastien9575 you know how many people I know who had health issues/became handicapped in one way or another, we’re single parents and STILL manage to not only apologize for their behavior, but for thing’s completely out of their control because of the way it affected their kids? A lot. Grow up.
Strong smart 24 year old 🙏🏼 took control of her life as a minor, more than most adults can do. My dad still isn’t sober at 57 so I get it. Parents were pretty hands off and always wrapped up in their own drama. People like us go through a lot in terms of acceptance. She’s holding all that to break generational cycles I believe in her
That's insane, she's only five years younger than me and is going through the exact same thing i went through with my dad. Like Karamo said you just gotta grieve and be your own rock. But I will say that I never would've imagined in my wildest dreams that I'd hear every word of the same bullshit "apology" my father fed to me 3yrs ago. I hope she's doing well for herself because it's gonna take time to fully let go of hurt that deep 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Saying “I’m sorry I upset you” is an apology, saying “I’m sorry you’re upset” is horseshit. I feel for the daughter 😢
Saying that still won’t cut it and I’ve learned that from my parents, it needs to be more sincere
She kept being dismissive about her daughters feelings and calling her selfish when she literally kept talking about herself and what she’s been through instead of acknowledging what she put her daughter through that’s sad asf
She’s a brilliant beautiful young woman. I’m glad this show exists. It helped me to face my own obstacles with a better perspective
Wow, she couldn’t say I’m sorry. She’s bringing the child in her pain that she caused on herself. I’m with the daughter on this. May God heal you young lady. God got this 🙏🏼
The mother isn’t getting the point, the daughter is simply saying that she is now 24 and a mother herself and that her pain doesn’t validate mistreating your daughter. Realize how she hasn’t made any excuses for anything. That’s all she’s asking the Mom to do. I feel so bad because it’s so hard for people outside to get it. We are talking about years, months, minutes, seconds of constantly being in the household of a terrible parent. Each second you’re being mentally and physically broken down and it is indescribable with words because it’s not a one time occurrence. It’s thousands. The mother uses the word selfish when she is the embodiment of it. You had the kid now bear the responsibility.
Yea I have CPTSD due to those thousands of moments of trauma. This girl does too. 😢
@@kandb4life Hope you came/ can come to terms with it and recover. It’s truly awful.
I get this and felt it to my core people will never know the extent of how cruel, evil, and viscous people like her mother could be bc they couldn't imagine their mother doing it to them or them doing it to a child
Mother don't care!
@@kandb4life yes, I have CPTSD as well!
The mom is never going to apologize, take accountability or stop talking about herself. She’s the definition of narcissistic mom, I’m glad the daughter is cutting that toxic nonsense off.
This poor young lady! As a 45 year old who had a similar experience (although my mother didn’t have a drug dependency problem) so I relate to her so deeply. I pray that she reads my message, and if anybody is reading this and struggles to find the peace within them to accept the turmoil of not receiving the apology or recognition they needed… please hear me out. For YEARS I struggled, at times I still do, and what hurts me more is to hear advice like “tell yourself you’re not affected by this” or “forgive them and make peace”, I know people mean well when they say these things, but this advice hurts deeply because it’s not easy to change your emotions at the switch of a button. What made things worse for me was that until I could genuinely make peace with these issues, I kept choosing friends and boyfriends that added to this trauma because it was like I was dating my mother. The best thing to ever happen for me to to discover codependency through a book called “codependent no more” by Melody Beattie, and through this book I identified where exactly I was being treated badly by others and how I was allowing it (sometimes we only notice when it’s too late) and through this over stepping of our boundaries, learn to respect ourselves and see our own worth so that we learn to set and enforce our own boundaries. This is a long work in progress but in time it’s rewarding and the pain goes away, we just have to be willing to see these traumatic aspects of ourselves. Another thing, talk as much as you like and can! If you find yourself in the company of people who can’t relate to you… find another person… and keep going… eventually you’ll find people who will make you feel like you’re not alone or others that will respond with how awesome you are in a way that you will believe it and then live it. But my most important advice I can give… pray to God, find a great church that teaches you Gods word, stay in fellowship that encourages you and heals you… know that everything is Jesus Christ is possible! I truly pray that if you are reading this, that God will bless you and those who surround you! Let’s support one another! God bless ♥️🙏🏽
The definition of a strong independent motivationally driven human being is this is this girl. She has more strength than I think she ever realized that she has because most people can't cut ties with their family or don't because there's so manipulated. Good for her❤ and kudos to this guy he was so calm and humbling during that entire experience!
If anyone apologizes and say “if you feel some type of way” then that’s not a real sincere apology smh
Poor baby! Some of us don’t have any other option than to be our own rock! You got this girl!!
the 24 year old has the right to feel what she feel at the end of the day
💯🎯!!!
@@LoganTaliaferroShe gotta get rid of the pain tho
Emotionally immature parents.
Such parents break their children.
Choosing drugs over your child isn’t an excuse for being absent. She needs to admit her drug use harmed her child and she needs to say sorry for fucking up.
I understand her mom went through things, but her mom cannot downplay her pain because she "hurt more". This really made me cry.
It upsets me because people who aren't accountable always want to compare their pain to the pain of someone else's pain. You can't compare pain.
"You can't compare pain." - I love this truth. Pain is not tangible, therefore it cannot be compared as if it were currencies (dollar vs pound vs yen). Doing so only creates more pain.
As someone who has a struggling relationship with a mother who’s also had a traumatizing past, who also only talks about herself, I painfully related to her. She handled this better than I ever could.
i used to fight with my mom a lot and she didnt get along with my granny. now my mama has passed away and there is nothing i wouldnt give to go back and redo some things. i cry every day. I warn u, even little disagreements eat at u, haunt u when shes gone. Please do all u can to make amends. Try to encourage her to be tenderhearted, empathetic with u, to work with u on better communication, better words and better understanding and to not hold grudges. Let her know u love her and are just trying to get along with her and to help her. Your relationship with her is precious. Please i beg u to do all u can to try to make it work with her. U dont get her back when shes gone, passed away, 6 feet under. Then, there are no more chances, no more hugs, no more time, no more having her company. i would give every penny i have or anything, to have even another minute with my mama. I pray u make the most of your time with her and that u and your mom, heal your relationship. i dont think any relationship is beyond repair. God bless u.