This and your video on the young lady who was 14 and arrested 4times... Have drawn me closer to speaking out for resolve. At 11 my step father tried to rape me, a week after him and my mother got married. I was taken from my mother and given back after investigation. He was a sheriff and had been put on "desk duty" so he left that Jon and worked on Naval Base as Police. At 16, he raped me. Instead of me telling my mom and going through investigation again, I asked her to come in my room the morning after assault happened. I was having a hard time walking and couldn't pick up my son. I had bruises on the inside of BOTH thighs. I asked her what it looked like... She Said "HANDPRINTS" I told her what happened the night before with her husband coming in my room while I was sleep, asking for my covers. She said, perhaps I bumped into something in my room. However, I quickly pointed out my mattress was on the floor and all dressers were against the wall! There was NOTHING THE INSIDE OF MY THIGHS, WOULD HAVE BUMPED INTO THAT LOOKED LIKE HANDPRINTS!! Now at 39 and have had those difficult discussions with my mom, having to tell my sons... even though we are currently "homeless" THEY CAN'T GO STAY WITH MY RAPIST! My mom is still married to her husband, 2 of my son's live in my guardians duplex (upstairs from my mom's husband) My 14 year old is being asked to leave because he is more introverted and the uncle they stay with has an extroverted family like my 16 year . ( My 14 year old son, is the one I first had that conversation with and decided to have with all of them, so they could grasp why I had certain requirements about them AND for when I came to the uncle's home to visit my children) At this point, with all that has happened. Even wrote my mom's husband a father's day card a decade ago and he still has never apologized. Plus, I want him and my mother to have that conversation in front of me... My mom apologized and Said she didn't realize what was happening because he never presented himself in those manners with her. Plus by him being "an officer and military personnel " Would you Karamo be open to sharing one of your filmings, that are along the lines of what has been described. I am not part of any "support" groups and I look forward to gaining healthier ways of being.
Lie... The girl is thinking about herself. And being disrespectful is screaming at your mother when you want something from her.. you brought her on the show to bully her into saying sorry..
@@Ame_by_verb Uh-uh. Now I know you see that her mother IS AND HAS BEEN disrespectful to her daughter. The daughter is in pain from what her mother caused her to have. She has every right to yell. She's just getting everything off her chest. Be better.
I don't think she wants this resolved, she could be calm and have a discussion with her mum, but she being disrespectful will never bring the right outcome...
@@Ame_by_verb YEARS of pain and abandonment will eventually make someone explode with emotions. Her mother deserved everything she got with her narcissistic self. Stop defending a narcissist.
This isn't the drugs. It's the woman. She's just a narcissistic human being. She's using drugs as an excuse for being a shitty parent. No apologies, no acknowledgement, nothing. My heart goes out to this young woman. I hope you heal and be happy in your life.
There's a time and place for talk about yourself. We do it all the time. When you do it at the wrong time and place, that will come across as narcissistic. It also makes you look extremely solipsistic.
I think it's insane, when the daughter asked "Have you seen me take my first steps?" And her response was I can't even walk. That's when you know she's a narcissistic mother who has too much pride, even for her daughter. The thing that got me was when her mother asked her, "Have you tried drugs?" And her daughter responded with no because of you! Her mother is foul and really doesn't gaf.
Yeah, what was the moms point- "you aren't better than me. If you did drugs you'd get addicted to"? No shit, the thing that makes her "better" is that she didn't even try them because she knew it was a big risk.
She said she smoked weed what part did u miss. And she allegedly she is addicted and she just doesn't agree with her mom drug that she was born with. So what I am hearing if her mom smoked weed the daughter would be fine. ? I best most get friends get high and don't give darn. One thing for sure people who smoke weed over and behind here what they think they hear.bthe brain slows down. I bet she can't go a day with out social media or a cell phone. Now who really is addicted. Just because she has a chance to see her baby walk doesn't mean she can catch her if she falls. Hello. So stop and by the way did she smoke weed while she was pregnant? Don't be know fool because this is so ial media.
@@lankenstein5884I hate that you ain't know better than me. That wasn't the question. It's a opinion. Doesn't make it a fact. I didn't hear anyone sincerely say they love each other and want to etc. the same applies to relationships every one wants to be right. The devil is lie. Now get educated to understand and stop putting people down at anything. That's not loving humble empathy
Most importantly be spiritually still and pray and forgive thy self. Understand to be understood. Everything is blamed on parents the home.well . United States of America is a mansion,home! And it's obvious drugs are a multi billion business. The cell phone is a addiction worse than any drug .. it's like heroin, cocaine which I believe in my opinion bfir those who had the privilege became addicted to coke a cola,. Makes me wonder suger coffee tobacco and coka cola and sex and money. Please .. and moon shine. . People who wanna blow up innocent people and children etc. have some kinda of ?? . Don't forget in order to see the affect of a drug got to have been pigs.
@@Krystal.Pascal7 disrespectful? You still don't get it do you? The child wants to be heard. Most parents will always activate "disrespectful" "i raised you" "i carry you for 9 months" card while in fact it is their choice and most importantly its their RESPONSIBILITY to do so. Your child is there for you to become a better parent. Plus the mother in the video is playing victim and gaslighting the child. So stupid of you for thinking like that
@@Krystal.Pascal7 it's not disrespectful to show your frustration to your parents especially when you know they are doing wrong. Parents are not always right. Do better
@@Krystal.Pascal7 she (mother) doesn't even care what her daughter feeling even with she (daughter) screamed her lung out. When people demand something from someone, the person who being asked usually answer based on what the other person demand off, but her (mother)?? Nah, she even talked about her brother being murdered and others, doesn't have any ounce of care for her daughter while her daughter only want her affection. Yeah, the mother has been through hard life, but it doesn't mean that she raise her child that way and make her child suffer what she's been through
Literally, but I get it .. the mom only see’s life from her perspective and so does the daughter, sometimes it’s hard to understand another persons pain especially when you’re blinded by your own … I feel for the both of them.
My mom wasn’t an addict but the stubbornness and self pity, manipulation, etc keeps me in that same loop I have yet to grieve for our relationship but I’m understanding that as a mom of six, I really have to heal that little girl who just didn’t feel the love and worthy of it.
"I had a very traumatic life and my daughter has to understand I didn't ask for my life to be like that..." omg, your daughter didn't ask for it either! This woman had the power and opportunities every day to turn her life around to give her daughter a stable life and a better mom. All it takes is consistency and faith that the work will pay off.
"im sorry you felt that way about what i did" is NOT an apology. "i apologize for what i did and what it did to you" IS an apology. the mom did not apologize one bit.
@@Unknown-lp9mu I agree that taking action is an ideal apology. That said what the first pointed out is the minimum apology someone can do and if a person can't even do that then are they truly sorry?
My mother and grandmother say the exact same thing, and it's truly debilitating. I don't think narcissists can change, so I've decided to just cut contact.
The poor daughter is talking about how she is so present in her own daughter's life that she's experienced her first steps - something her mom was unable to do for her. The mom's response "You think you're better than me; ...drugs..., I can't walk, orthopedic shoes..." everything under the sun but an apology. 🙁
She basic answered the mom's question about being better than her through how she is there for her daughter and the fact that weed is the only thing she smokes for her anxiety but nothing further than that to become like her. It's amazing the mom didn't even listen to anything that she said. And what made me freeze was when the mom asked "have you been on drugs" or something along the lines. I was like, do you really wish for your daughter to be a drug addict like you to understand you? She understands but she never heard a 'im sorry'.
Crazy thing is , the mom is acting like she had no control of the drugs. She did. Drugs are something you choose, whether it was peer pressure, growing up with family using , etc.
I feel like even in another reality where the mother was not suffering from drug addiction, she still has that huge ego and wouldn’t be able to be a good mother…
@@rickyo7061AGREED. I understand that people go through things and that people make bad choices sometimes. But you cannot use it as a crutch and you cannot use that to justify your own wrong doings.
All the mom had to do was say “I’m sorry”. The daughter was willing to let go of all the hurt and pain for a simple exchange of …. “I’m sorry”. How evil can you be to withhold an apology so deserved.
The mom said she apologized for the lapse in not having a relationship with her daughter caused by her drug use, she also said she apologized for the hurt she caused her through her addiction but she thanked God that her mother took care of her inspite of her own addiction. The daughter is rude and disrespectful she cursed her and tried to belittle her, she wasn't talking about herself, she was trying to get this selfish child to understand that if she had been in her right state of mind she would have done better. The girl was still yelling and she didn't want to talk to her mother to mother or mother to daughter she appeared to only want to try and make her mother look bad, she was over talking her mother and said her grandmother apologized to her over 21 years ago, how does she know? She's only 24, also she said her mother put her in dangerous situations, yet she never said she was molested or anything, the daughter is disrespectful and totally rude.
For real! We are healing all alone and we can't fully feel complete until that apology even when we don't want it we NEED it and they still won't. It's so unfair ❤
I agree but if she ever wants to heal she has to be willing to listen. She wasn’t even listening when Karamo tried to explain the side effects of her mother’s addiction.
I feel so much empathy for this young woman acceptence is hard to swallow when your not ready to loose someone and wish things could of been different I hope this young lady finds the courage to pick up her life when this sad chapter of her life has closed and hope the new chapter in her life brings her better things in life and makes her stronger and able to deal with things in a better way and wish her all the blessings God can give her and her daughter and partner and the rest of the family life's a funny thing who knows what possative surprised and unexpected blessings are around the corner God moves in mysterious ways
That woman is disgusting. Even in her daughter’s pain and tears, she couldn’t even reach out to ATTEMPT to calm her. What mother does that. She’s pushing everything to drugs which was even a choice she made. She’s so pathetic. I’m happy for the courage of the young smart lady .
Addiction to drugs is not a choice. It’s a disease. She said she started when she was a teen, the first time might be a bad choice but then she is just sick. Some people never heal from addiction. Your brain is changed forever and But on the rest I agree, she’s being so closed to her daughter and so defensive of herself. It’s just not right. No contact is the only safe option. I hope everyone gets therapy! That girl really said « that generational trauma is not me » and rose up the challenge. She can be proud of herself.
@@schwap7210being a parent to young children and teenagers and being an addict is a choice in the sense that if you weren't a selfish parent you wouldn't have ever put yourself in the position to be an addict. You choose to drink every night, you choose to take drugs regularly. Most drugs you cannot immediately become addicted to, it happens over time and if that choice comes at the expense of your children's happiness, safety and love then you chose to do that to them. There's no excuse to be an addict as a parent.
Self-pitying mother. Narcissistic. Selfish. Doesn't love her daughter. I pray this young lady remains strong and shows herself and her daughter what a woman can overcome and become. She is extremely articulate. Completely understand her anger when her terrible mother refused to acknowledge and comprehend her daughter's pain. Her daughter doesn't have to understand crap. You have no choice but to walk away from your mother.
May God bless you and no one understands unless they have experienced the struggle ❤❤being handicap having children is always some difficultly no exceptions for those who just use drugs because they want to use
The mother has a story of abuse and neglect to tell as well. She does not know HOW to be there for her daughter. It's not for us to say whether she loves her.
Your right your comment is spot on. So fed up of these people saying oh the mother made mistakes. Excuses excuses. Only people who have experienced narc abuse will EVER understand. Her daughter don't have to understand jack. She is a dead beat mother. It's cold what I'm saying but she takes no responsibility. I am your mother now. Her mother is a NARC.
She has NO respect for her mother bro. I can see why.The Bible says Do not provoke your children to wrath. Oh we conveniently forgot about that didn't weeeeeeeeee.
The mother refuses to acknowledge her role in her daughters life because she had it worse than her daughter? That’s not drugs. She’s just a self centered bitter loveless person, and I’m so proud of Hannifah.
People with narcissistic parents get it. There's nothing more frustrating than being emotionally drained and hurt by your parent, only for them to completely disregard or deny your experiences. You'll never get through to them. Narcissists don't change. All you can do is heal and be better than them.
It’s so sad be cause I dated a narc and his mom was so manipulative and it made him the same hurt This young lady def need counseling because that was traumatizing
Listen to what happened robbed at gunpoint she was in foster care because of that not my fault it's a problem which caused this and yes the person that should apologize is the person who robbed us
@@syrettabastien9575girl no you should apologize, apologize to the child you didn't give love to apologize to the child who couldn't express her feelings because her mother was so rooted in party party that no bodys problems matter but her own, you was a terrible mother and because your childhood was hard and because your adult life was hard don't give you no excuse to treat that girl like that. You learn from mistakes made by those around you and you better yourself so it don't happen to you. Now just because you got held at gunpoint don't mean to get to invalidate her own trauma just because you can't walk don't mean that the moments of her first steps didn't mean nothing that was supposed to be your babygirl and you and you alone are to fault for how she was treated and you don't get to pity yourself and say oh woh is me because you could've changed and you didn't you aren't the victim here she was. Your battles are over and yet you hung them over that poor girls head because you're a narcissist. You should've apologized instead of making it about you. Because it wasn't about you it was about your daughter
The fact that Karamo respected the daughter’s boundary of not wanting to have contact with her mom anymore & he got her off stage. That’s amazing because most people would definitely be like “that’s still your mom.. you gotta respect her.”
Yeah fr, like Dr. Phil in the pst got mad at a girl because she asked why her mother was on the stage or invited to the show or something. And he got mad and was like “I invite whoever I want on this show.” And I think this girl had some kind of animosity or trauma with her mother.
No I seriously like how he conducted this entire exchange. I forget this man has a whole degree and profession surrounding therapy and interpersonal relationships! He did a great job supporting Hannifah, getting her to hear her mother without compromising herself and recognizing the best next steps- even if that meant leaving her mother behind (thank goodness she did)
The mother really made me upset because her whole demeanor from the time she walked on that stage and sat down was disgusting! Your daughter is trying and crying out to you for you to hear her and you have yet to apologize for the emotional pain you’ve caused! Yes I understand the mom was going through a rough time but NOW is the time be a grown woman and apologize to your child! Saying “I wouldn’t be here” is very disrespectful in my eyes
I am sad for both of them. The daughter has to grieve the loss of her relationship with her mum because the mum is not ready to mend the relationship. The mum was trying but she can't come out of her brokenness enough to meet with her daughter. I pray that they get the right mediator to bring them both out of the deep pain they experienced in their lives.
This is so incredibly sad... I know exactly what the daughter wants, and she will probably never get it. Her mother is actually more broken than she is. The mother is just hardened as a defense mechanism. I think it's easier for her to be hard than to feel or acknowledge what her daughter is going through because her own pain has never been dealt with.
I’m really appreciate Karamo getting the mom off the stage once her daughter said she doesn’t want her in her life anymore. Helping with those boundaries from the jump!
Its so refreshing to see a talkshow host actually advocate for the person who just needs someone else to stand up for them and validate their pain, instead of re-traumatizing their guests for dramatic effect and money.
This woman is a different level of narcissism and lack of accountability. The fact she can sit there while her daughter is pouring out her pain and STILL make it about her is beyond infuriating
@starsonapollo5281 Seriously!!! I feel most mother's may feel one way but the second you see your child in pain it breaks any cold exterior you may have had
@@starsonapollo2 Narcs are in full demon mode honestly. Theyre scary because they act like a regular person with empathy and a heart, and then whenever they start switching up on you, and whenever you realize whats happening and fight back, you see their true selves emerge, Thyere a shell of a human, nothing there behind them souless eyes. Trying desperately to keep control of the narrative and you see they never really meant any of the friendship or love they gave
Generationally and sometimes they would bring religion into it and guilt children for feeling betrayed by not getting the love and emotional support from their parents that they deserve. One example is the idea that disrespecting your mother set you a path of hell and mothers use that to their advantage to set whatever level of toxicity they can have to their children because no child of hers can disrespect her
Karamo missed a major note when saying the daughter needed more time to understand her mother’s state of mind. She put in the time over the years of pain and abuse. There’s major narcissism elements in that mother’s behavior. Bravo to this young woman!
I got Karamo point. It is not justifying the behavior, but understanding that her mother is not the mother she imagines. Yes you mentally can understand how drugs can affect someone, but you can't understand how YOU as a kid could be affected by an adult decision to use drugs. Most of us are presented with what a parent should look like, but when you don't get that it causes a rejection, you can't really process and understand how THEY can't do it but U can. That's what he meant. That's why at the end he told her to grieve, say goodbye to that parent U wanted to then be able to accept the parent U have (I mean accept the reality of who she is as a person, awful, but she is who she is outside of what you may want as a child)
"I watched my daughter walk" I felt that because when my son was a toddler sick with a fever and I had to rock his hot crying self to sleep I said to myself "my mom never did this for me" It's those moments I respect a woman for being a mother.
Mum's don't usually do that for daughters they do it for sons. Daughters practically raise themselves and repeat the toxic cycle of neglect and abandonment with their daughters
It’s not the drugs, the mother is a narcissist even now she make’s everything about her. Her daughter asks “can you say you saw me walk?” Then mom says “well I couldn’t walk I had orthopedic shoes” ma’am wtf does that have to do of whether you were there for your baby. And she can’t even say sorry for her past! Ridiculous. I hope this young woman finds healing because a narcissist mother will never give that!
I think the mother is still using most ppl who’ve been clean or recovering from drug addiction, are remorseful for the pain and suffering, they’ve put their family through. She lowkey giving vibes that’s she still using.
Ive noticed addicts tend to be narcissistic, i think whatever drives them to "use" also causes them to be consumed and obsessed with their pain. so much so that nothing else (or anyone else) can ever matter as much as their personal pain.
with a narcissistic parent i understand her. this woman is saying “you didnt go through what i had to go through and your pain is not as bad as what my pain is so you dont deserve to be that angry” im so glad shes broke that generational curse and is a good mother for her daughter despite what her mother put her through
That's what I fight for every single day, to get to the point where I move out and become a mother, and raise my kids better than my parents have raised me. I strive to break generational curses cause they couldn't break their own
@@xheartsfor_U really most never want to but most ends up it’s natural if you don’t get help, she admitted to smoking weed why does she take that if she intends to not be like her mother the truth be told she will end up like that if she doesnt give up the weed and get therapy quick.
okay dont respect her as a mother, respect her as an adult who you want to have a conversation with. what is the point of asking me to come on a show so i can be disrespected. the daughter is insane to think that is okay. no one else would sign up for being publicly yelled at or shamed so why should she?
@@supersenpainovablaze7078 She obviously did sign up 😭 also the girl was TRAINED to yell. She didn’t come out yelling. She yells because she obviously wouldnt be heard even if she talked slowly.
I just love how considerate the host was to the daughter. he knew the mom had to go and keep the daughter from feeling anymore pain. Then he comforted her and gave her some solid advice. Cudos to this host. Better than any dr. phil I’ve watched
Myself and my siblings were raise by a narcissistic mother. She was on drugs and a drunk and slept around our entire childhood. We were treated so badly, constantly telling us what pos’s we were, never such a thing as Xmas, birthdays etc etc Her husband left her, none of her 4 children or 6 grandchildren speak to her. She lives alone in a trailer on her baby sister’s property (the only person that still has anything to do with her) The day I chose to remove her from my life was when I told her do you realize you’ve never apologized to any of us for anything you’ve done to us. She said I’ve never done anything I need to apologize for. I was done with her that day. I wish she would do a little self reflection but I’ve given up on that ever happening. Sometimes no matter how bad you want something it just will not happen. You have to let it go and focus on being the best parent you can to your children.
"can you stand and say you watched me walk?" well "I couldn't walk, i had orthopedic shoes".... "you're the only parent in the house" "you're not gonna tell me i wasn't robbed at gun point."........ ma'am be so fr right now. this is exactly what she means when she said she makes everything about her.
"Just because you had a shit parent, doesn't mean you get to be a shit parent". My mom needs to hear this. I got so tired of hearing that excuse every time she put her hands on me. I hope the best for this woman. Even if her mom never changes, I hope she can work on herself and be a better parent for her child. If you have a terrible parent, ALWAYS strive to be better. Don't repeat history. Her mother is pathetic and I'm so upset for Hannifah.
Me too. It got really hard to watch toward the end and keep listening to the mom talking about herself and watching this young woman get let down again.
The pain of watching your parent choose drugs over you is something that cannot not be compared to anything the fact that this generation is trying to overcome it is beautiful
truth, my dad put drugs over us up until he died. my mom was caught in addiction half my life, i constantly wondered why i wasn’t good enough for them to choose me and my siblings. why i was so undeserving.. thankfully my mom has been sober for 8 years and has done everything in her power to make sure we are loved. i feel this girls pain and grief so much, to have lost a parent that is sitting right in front of you. so great that she is breaking those generational curses. 🩵🩵🩵
Unfortunately no one chooses drugs to take over their life, it’s an addiction and possibly the worst way to experience life. Now that her mum is sober, she has the choice to accept her daughters pain that was caused by her addiction, but her mum issn’t healed and chooses to focus on her own pain. Just heartbreaking
That girl’s mother is a textbook narcissist. She’s screaming & saying she just wants her mom to apologize for the pain she caused & that woman flat out refused & talked around it. I feel for Hanifa, honestly & I’m proud of her for being a better mother to her child.
Absynthe: The mother is not a NARCISSIST. The mother has a painful past as well and you are listening to hurt people. Did the grandmother ever talked to her daughter? Have the grandmother ever say to her daughter sorry! You don’t know the mother’s history? You have no idea what she went through? So, leave the name calling out! Would or could you have done better if you place yourself in her shoes? I guess no! STOP IT !
@Happiness In Heart she's clearly a narcissist. The signs are all there. If you can't see what everyone else sees, then I don't what to say 🤷♀️ I'm mean some people from abusive homes become narcissistic.
She really said “I apologize IF you felt some type of way about what I was traumatized about…” like wtf is that??? She is gaslighting to the max and taking no accountability!
@@nakkesha yess . Completely invalidated her daughter feelings . When her baby said “ did you get to see me walk “ and her reply was “well I couldn’t walk” my heart dropped to my stomach . I could never imagine doing ts to my kids .
Saying I’m sorry also implies that you feel empathy. She’s not comfortable with saying “I’m sorry” because she simply can not. In her mind, she has no empathy at all. She’s too busy empathizing with herself. She uses the word selfish against her when in reality she’s pitying herself.
You can tell that she turns back into that kid that didn't feel supported or fought for. So sad. I hope she heals well and I believe she's a great mother.
The audacity of her mom to be crying in the beginning and then sit there and talk about herself and call her DAUGHTER selfish later on in the episode really gets me
@@ljackson24 I thought you meant both her and the daughter lmao like this was all scripted. I was like no bruh I had a narcissistic mother I know ts is real 😭 but you right
“Remind yourself you’re your own rock” is a good way to say don’t lean on people especially when you’re hurt bc if they let you down it hurts even worse
She’s so articulate about her feelings and her needs. I love that for her and am thankful for Karamo giving her sound advice. He’s thoughtful and knowledgeable 👏🏾👏🏾
The moment she snapped, i felt all her anger, disappointment and frustration bursting out. It's heartbreaking to see someone suffers so much like that. hugs for the girl.
This made me upset. This girl STILL didn't get what she needed... that mother is AWFUL!!!!! She CAN APOLOGIZE. She chooses not to apologize for her mistakes or for what she didn't know... man I hope that girl gets the healing she needs. I hope she heals with the love of her daughter ❤️
I can't apologize for being a handicap parent and having operation whiched caused the use of drugs and having relationship being a single parent through out life I appreciate the comments it helps even to build a reflection on how to be better than you
@@syrettabastien9575 No you cant but you can apologize for not changing. Only you can truly grow as a person and this woman has not. A person who truly is getting better. Acknowledges their mistakes .
@@syrettabastien9575 stop playing the victim. None of those things had to do with your daughter. She still deserves an apology for what YOU AS A MOTHER didn’t take responsibility for. The fact that you still feel this way is proof that your daughter made the right decision in cutting you off. Having a mother that victimizes herself every single time her child brings up a concern, is one of the most traumatic things you can ever go through as a person.
@@syrettabastien9575 you know how many people I know who had health issues/became handicapped in one way or another, we’re single parents and STILL manage to not only apologize for their behavior, but for thing’s completely out of their control because of the way it affected their kids? A lot. Grow up.
@@VlueberryBlue who said anything about murder? That's for humans. This needs some Suspiria-level shit. That mom's a witch and deserves to be disemboweled like one.
@@VlueberryBlueWhen she left the first time she was rubbing her hand like if she didn’t leave she was going to start swinging and like yeah I’m so mad I couldn’t beat her pathetic mom for her.
She’s more into the fact she’s being “embarrassed” on the show in front of people then her own daughter’s emotions. True Narcissist! That’s what I had to deal with my mother. She’s the same age as me (24) & it feels good now knowing I wasn’t the only one going through this & im not the only one out here breaking my generational curse for my future children !
“Why you talkin bout yourself?!” The amount of times I’ve wanted to tell my mother that in immeasurable, I can’t imagine how good she must’ve felt finally asking that
This was powerful. Her mom is rooted in her own ego. She cant see anything else but her world and issues and has zero empathy for how her actions impacted her daughter.
She kept being dismissive about her daughters feelings and calling her selfish when she literally kept talking about herself and what she’s been through instead of acknowledging what she put her daughter through that’s sad asf
I’m in tears. she’s only 24 and she’s so mature, because she was left to fend for herself, to raise herself… and her screams, you can hear all that pain, you can hear her regress to her younger self, the self that was hurting, felt unheard, uncared for, unloved.. her walls broke and she returned to that child so desperate to have a mother. I wish I could hug her,,, I wish her so much healing,,, I wish the best for her and her daughter, and I hope she can love her daughter the way she wasn’t. 💔💔
@@blacksun6245 did you not read my original comment?!?!? “her walls broke and she returned to that child so desperate for a mother” I implied that she regressed, back to a child. children throw tantrums when they feel unheard, unloved or want attention/empathy. you’ve zero idea about how childhood trauma works, and how an adult with it would react in front of a trauma stressor. obviously you’re the one who’s got the same intelligence as a child.
@@blacksun6245 she’s not fully mature yet because she’s not allowing her mother to disrespect her & not take accountability? it seems like you never dealt with a narcissist as a parent so I’ll let you be but that’s such strength in what she did. Got on national television in front of millions of people & talked about a topic that’s so hard to do, that’s such maturity.
Even tho the daughter is a grown woman now. That baby needed this! Get it out baby! You are a great mother to your own. You broke the cycle baby. I am proud of you!
The mother isn’t getting the point, the daughter is simply saying that she is now 24 and a mother herself and that her pain doesn’t validate mistreating your daughter. Realize how she hasn’t made any excuses for anything. That’s all she’s asking the Mom to do. I feel so bad because it’s so hard for people outside to get it. We are talking about years, months, minutes, seconds of constantly being in the household of a terrible parent. Each second you’re being mentally and physically broken down and it is indescribable with words because it’s not a one time occurrence. It’s thousands. The mother uses the word selfish when she is the embodiment of it. You had the kid now bear the responsibility.
I get this and felt it to my core people will never know the extent of how cruel, evil, and viscous people like her mother could be bc they couldn't imagine their mother doing it to them or them doing it to a child
"You can't compare pain." - I love this truth. Pain is not tangible, therefore it cannot be compared as if it were currencies (dollar vs pound vs yen). Doing so only creates more pain.
Came here from TT to see the whole video. The pain in her cries hit me so hard. I don’t know if she’ll ever see this, but I hope she knows how proud so many strangers are of her for standing up for herself and not letting her mother gaslight her.
As soon as she started talking my blood boiled. "I had a very tramatic life that I had no control over", sorry to say ma'am but thats when you learn from the life you had and make changes to where you can be a better mother and give your daughter the life you never had. That victim mentality dont fly when you are an adult and have children. Her daughter has done for her daughter what her mother should have done for her. Accountability is everything!!
her daughter is so right, all she does is talk about herself and what she’s been through, it hurts to see that she can’t see past all of that. okay everything is about her, her hurt, her addiction, her child & literally does not take any type of accountability for the way her daughter’s life paved out. i wish i could give her a hug, she’s so strong and doesn’t realize how strong she is, she will be a better mother & guide to her daughter than her mother ever was to her. If you ever happen to read this, you’re doing amazing this was just the first step of many and may God Bless you & protect you
As a mother/daughter I cannot begin to imagine her pain. I’m so proud of her. Her growth is so powerful. She is a fighter. Through the pain and mourning she is still here. Being the figure she never had, especially now for her own. I’m so proud of her. I pray that she continues to heal and find peace xoxoxox good job mamas
The mom is never going to apologize, take accountability or stop talking about herself. She’s the definition of narcissistic mom, I’m glad the daughter is cutting that toxic nonsense off.
I feel every bit of pain she’s displaying, having an incarcerated mother who was battling addiction & mental health problems is so hard. Her mother doesn’t understand.. I hope one day she will.
This is the epitome of generational trauma… it’s keeps being passed down till someone acknowledges and faces the pain and breaks the cycle. The daughter is breaking the cycle. I wish her peace and healing.
The daughter is a better mother than her “mother” ever was or will be.. all she asked for was an apology.. such an innocent child and to be as strong as she is now is amazing.. baby girl you went through a lot of shit that most people would not survive.. and continue to be that mother that she never was.. ♥️
Yes! & honestly the daughter wants a relationship so she can be praised and have her mom acknowledge what a real mother is. But shes never going to get that validation or praise or joy from that narcissist. And some day she’ll realize she doesnt need it from her mom.
I am the daughter of an addict and I became one too and now.. currently I am in Treatment healing.. the hard part of this is..I see her mother.. her mom got help and forgave herself and to hear her daughter yelling and disrespecting her is difficult because she knows who she is today.. her daughter is speaking to her like how she once was and that’s hard.. her daughter can’t hear the growth in her mother because all she remembers is the last time they were in contact with one another.. as soon as she saw her mothers face..I’m sure her heart was racing with frustration, anger, and sadness..which she has every right to feel but she wasn’t able to have the moment she was hoping for because her emotions got in the way.. it could have been a healing moment if she was able to express her anger in a different way.. the mother did not have a wall up but the daughter did.. the daughter needs therapy before she can even take the huge step of confronting her mother and also she need not expect nor assume anything and just be open to TRULY understanding.. because if she understood..she wouldn’t have been yelling. I say all of this because of experience. Also, it’s very hard for a person who hasn’t done drugs the way an addict does them to understand where an addict is coming from.. this was painful to watch because I feel for both of them.
@@sistergrasschannelI appreciate you for your insight. I’m wondering why didn’t the mother just say I’m sorry and listen? That would have showed the growth she believes she has made. It’s the same excuse that occurs while using you just don’t understand. The reality is no child will understand and they shouldn’t. The apology would have begun her child’s healing process which would have demonstrated love and care. Perhaps the mother can’t apologize because she sees herself victimized by her daughters existence and her addiction. That hurtful conversation of why and how she got to the drugs is for her mother not her daughter. You cannot ask respect from a child you haven’t taught respect to nor if you haven’t respected yourself in the way you’ve lived your life. I feel they are both victims of their mothers only one of them is innocence in this situation and at this point it is Hannifah not her mother. Once you speak to that hurting child then her inner child can move forward and ask for understanding. Thank you for your insight. You are appreciated.
@@sistergrasschannel my thing is an apology goes a long way, the excuse of “I can’t apologize for the past.” Yes you can.. people do it every day.. the mother instilled anger in her.. my father is an addict and is recovering and I don’t want him to apologize for being an addict I want him to apologize for not being a father.. accountability goes a long way.. this mother did not want to take accountability for her actions that hurt her child… I am all about walking a mile in someone’s shoes, but it has to go both ways.. they both need help and therapy not just the daughter.. I do see where you’re coming from and I can sympathize in a sense, but to see hurt in your child’s face that you created and not take accountability for it is an issue..
We have to STOP making excuses for parents saying “oh they didn’t know how to do this or you can’t expect YOUR parents to show YOU showing that they didn’t have.” Some stuff is just common sense I feel for this girl we the same age I totally can relate to her she’s hurt.
She is so conceited, the fact that she had the nerve to say “my presence should be an apology” is wild. I understand she has gone through some shit she shouldn’t have gone through either. But… by projecting how SHE coped with a bad parent onto her child just continues that process of hate and pain(what I’m trying to say is maybe the mother was able to deal with having a shit parent but not everybody’s the same ex- her daughter who justs wants a simple apology). Sometimes being the bigger person is to just apologize wether you mean or not for the sake of someone you care about, and the fact that the mom couldn’t be mature enough to even apologize just shows the type of person, and how immature she is🤦🏽♀️
The mom was trying to say that she wouldn't have come on the show in front of an audience if she didn't care about her daughter. The daughter had already made up her mind and has no ability to see that her mom went through a similar childhood with her own mom and also has some sort of physical disability. I don't think the daughter was right in this occasion
@@bibbiana4Lyfeyou don’t get a fucking award for showing up for your child after neglecting them their entire life. That’s not owed to you. She couldn’t even say the words “I’m sorry” without going on and on about her dumb sob story. The mother is an adult. She needs to act like it.
@@bibbiana4Lyfe I think the girl knows. it was repeated to her CONSTANTLY, Ya’ll always seem to somehow make her a victim when quite literally she has 15 to acknowledge her mistakes.
@@bibbiana4Lyfe nobody is faulting her for her response to her trauma, He are faulting her for the lack of empathy and self awareness she has for others.
I felt this man! As African Americans, the mother daughter relationship is tarnished. Mothers ever apologize for anything but expect to still receive respect because they are mom when that’s not how life works
@@crichellebell1098 how many times did they have to express themselves before you decided to listen to them as a person an not a disrespectful child?(If that’s the case)……. That’s done a lot also which is why a lot of us are still silenced in our grown adult years.
Her mother is nothing but a hurt child. She never grew past that, or let it go. Nor does she even have space in her heart to at least be proud of her beautiful, courageous daughter for breaking the cycle.
She’s an adult tho she deserved to have kids the moment you have kids you can chose to heal and do better for them that doesn’t give her a right to treat her like shit and still invalidate her
Where have you seen me excuse her?? Knowledge offers tge power to move on. Hannifah deserves to know what her mom is actually doing so she can better avoid it, run from it and know not to bear anything of her mom's actions. It's hard to let it behind when you wonder your whole life why they'd do this thing.
@Chuh Wey false. Once clear boundaries are set, her mother's influence will not affect her. She already knew what was going to happen on the show. She needed guidance on how to let go of her mother and FULLY appreciate herself. Cycle is done.
The mom is pissing me off. Everything the daughter says, the mother brings it back to one of her many ailments because of her chosen drug use. She's a narcissist.
It's so sad how the mother doesn't recognize and acknowledge the hurt and damage she done to that young woman, because of that, I don't feel her mom is completely over drugs. A person recovering from drugs is very sorry and honest about what they ve done to hurt family and friends in the past. Praying for that beautiful young woman
As a woman with a traumatic childhood, there is no excuse to cause repeated trauma for my daughter. Her emotional needs will Always trump mine. My heart hurts for this young lady.
"I can't apologize for my past" WHAT ELSE DO YOU APOLOGIZE FOR? That's the definition of an apology? God I feel so bad for this poor woman having to deal with a mom like that, trying to branch out just a bit, and getting treated in such a manner.
For her to call her daughter Selfish is just mind-boggling because she didn’t think it was selfish when she was doing drugs in her mother was taking care of her child she didn’t think it was selfish not being there for her kid but it was selfish the way that she’s talking now is very selfish she’s not even giving her daughter the acknowledgement that she was asking for. It’s sad that she doesn’t think she has to apologise for the trauma she inflicted on her child.
Because your not understanding what happened we were robbed at gun point she was placed in foster because of this so I'm the blame because someone else actions for her to come back into my care with so much hurt I tried and she ran away after that I never abandoned her
This is a clear case of a generational curse going through this family and I am so glad it's ending with Hannifah and her daughter. Grandmom raised her mother while dealing with addiction and then her mother turns around and does the same to her children. Now thank God her Grandma made changes in her life by the time Hannifah came around because she was able to help her not go down the same path. Just watching this gives me chills because you can feel Hannifah's pain and frustration.
This reminds me of my mom... I feel so bad for this young woman. She's not being selfish, she's not being controlling, she set firm boundaries and recognized her value and in that she's seeing that her mother doesn't have a place in her life. I wish I would have had the courage to do the same. I hope she and her daughter and flourishing in everything that they do 🥰
i used to fight with my mom a lot and she didnt get along with my granny. now my mama has passed away and there is nothing i wouldnt give to go back and redo some things. i cry every day. I warn u, even little disagreements eat at u, haunt u when shes gone. Please do all u can to make amends. Try to encourage her to be tenderhearted, empathetic with u, to work with u on better communication, better words and better understanding and to not hold grudges. Let her know u love her and are just trying to get along with her and to help her. Your relationship with her is precious. Please i beg u to do all u can to try to make it work with her. U dont get her back when shes gone, passed away, 6 feet under. Then, there are no more chances, no more hugs, no more time, no more having her company. i would give every penny i have or anything, to have even another minute with my mama. I pray u make the most of your time with her and that u and your mom, heal your relationship. i dont think any relationship is beyond repair. God bless u.
Wow. The raw emotions this young lady showed and her mom to react the way she did. This hit me in the gut, and I just wanted to hug the young lady. I pray that she gets into therapy.
Something even therapy can’t fully heal ..she can just learn to except it for what it is and move on for the better. Trauma like this tho.. it always hurts , even just a little bit.
It’s your job as the parent to break the cycle. My mother had a horrific abusive childhood and she made sure she put herself through therapy and worked hard to give my sisters and I the childhood she never had. My mom was able to live her childhood through her children and now I’m 26 and have an Unbreakable bond with my mommy.
“You are your own rock”. The power in that is everything and shit something I struggle with on and off. Her pain was very very powerful. I hope she can pull the strength up to be everything she’s ever wanted other ppl to be for her❤️❤️❤️ From what I see she can do it
Narcissistic mother will not release her daughter so that she can have healing but keeps bringing up that she's in pain and her daughter is selfish. What a disgusting person deflecting wouldn't even give her an apology. Baby the best thing you could do is stay far away from this woman cuz she will always keep you bound in pain because that's all she knows and you eternally hate her or try to get revenge, walk away. Stay away!
She has every right to be mad at her mom for abandoning her after all those years because of her drug addiction. And Hannifah really had every right to yell at her, and thanks to her grandmother who raised her, I hope she and her mother reconcile
I never abandoned my daughter she ran away and it wasn't my fault being robbed at gunpoint for her to be put in foster care and be mistreated it's truly unfair when a person is being judged and they don't know the whole truth
Her mom is a pure narcissist. I know exactly what the daughter is going through because I grew up in a similar situation and it sucks when you want your mom to change but they're not willing to change not only for you or for themselves. They will always play the victim no matter what until they look outside themselves and really acknowledge their b.s.
Having an addicted parent is hard. But having your lived experience not acknowledged from your only parent is a different kind of pain! I pray for this young lady!
“I apologise for how my trauma made *you feel* “ MMM Just that SLIGHT edge to it pushing the blame right back to you, this woman is not apologising, and she never truly care.
Watch Karamo read YOUR comments from this episode in our new series, Karamo Connects: ruclips.net/video/7O5lJk_5sdA/видео.html
This and your video on the young lady who was 14 and arrested 4times...
Have drawn me closer to speaking out for resolve.
At 11 my step father tried to rape me, a week after him and my mother got married.
I was taken from my mother and given back after investigation.
He was a sheriff and had been put on "desk duty" so he left that Jon and worked on Naval Base as Police.
At 16, he raped me.
Instead of me telling my mom and going through investigation again, I asked her to come in my room the morning after assault happened.
I was having a hard time walking and couldn't pick up my son. I had bruises on the inside of BOTH thighs.
I asked her what it looked like...
She Said "HANDPRINTS"
I told her what happened the night before with her husband coming in my room while I was sleep, asking for my covers.
She said, perhaps I bumped into something in my room.
However, I quickly pointed out my mattress was on the floor and all dressers were against the wall! There was NOTHING THE INSIDE OF MY THIGHS, WOULD HAVE BUMPED INTO THAT LOOKED LIKE HANDPRINTS!!
Now at 39 and have had those difficult discussions with my mom, having to tell my sons... even though we are currently "homeless" THEY CAN'T GO STAY WITH MY RAPIST!
My mom is still married to her husband, 2 of my son's live in my guardians duplex (upstairs from my mom's husband)
My 14 year old is being asked to leave because he is more introverted and the uncle they stay with has an extroverted family like my 16 year . ( My 14 year old son, is the one I first had that conversation with and decided to have with all of them, so they could grasp why I had certain requirements about them AND for when I came to the uncle's home to visit my children)
At this point, with all that has happened. Even wrote my mom's husband a father's day card a decade ago and he still has never apologized.
Plus, I want him and my mother to have that conversation in front of me...
My mom apologized and Said she didn't realize what was happening because he never presented himself in those manners with her.
Plus by him being "an officer and military personnel "
Would you Karamo be open to sharing one of your filmings, that are along the lines of what has been described.
I am not part of any "support" groups and I look forward to gaining healthier ways of being.
I'm praying for you baby
Karamo the best gift you gave that young lady is to tell her to remind herself to "BE YOUR OWN ROCK" I am talking from. experience.
The mother disgusts me. She will pay for her mistakes. You can heal and keep moving.
This poor baby. Someone taught her to be strong despite this woman’s horrid “parenting “
This woman is a pure example of screaming isn't always disrespect, it is pain.
So true.
Lie... The girl is thinking about herself. And being disrespectful is screaming at your mother when you want something from her.. you brought her on the show to bully her into saying sorry..
@@Ame_by_verb Uh-uh. Now I know you see that her mother IS AND HAS BEEN disrespectful to her daughter. The daughter is in pain from what her mother caused her to have. She has every right to yell. She's just getting everything off her chest. Be better.
I don't think she wants this resolved, she could be calm and have a discussion with her mum, but she being disrespectful will never bring the right outcome...
@@Ame_by_verb YEARS of pain and abandonment will eventually make someone explode with emotions. Her mother deserved everything she got with her narcissistic self. Stop defending a narcissist.
This isn't the drugs. It's the woman. She's just a narcissistic human being. She's using drugs as an excuse for being a shitty parent. No apologies, no acknowledgement, nothing. My heart goes out to this young woman. I hope you heal and be happy in your life.
1000% AGREED
100% facts my mother was on drugs and still tried her hardest to be a good mom even while dealing with her vices. There’s no excuse
Very true narcs will never change.
See a woman with a cane I had physical condition before I even had my daughter so it was always a drug for pain and treatment ❤❤
The mother is so irritating to me. SHE IS NOT LISTENING TO HER DAUGHTERS PAIN.
"YOURE STILL TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF! WHHHY!?" Ugh, I felt that in my bones.
😢😢 frfr
😢
Ugh yes
There's a time and place for talk about yourself. We do it all the time. When you do it at the wrong time and place, that will come across as narcissistic. It also makes you look extremely solipsistic.
THIS
I think it's insane, when the daughter asked "Have you seen me take my first steps?" And her response was I can't even walk. That's when you know she's a narcissistic mother who has too much pride, even for her daughter. The thing that got me was when her mother asked her, "Have you tried drugs?" And her daughter responded with no because of you! Her mother is foul and really doesn't gaf.
Yeah, what was the moms point- "you aren't better than me. If you did drugs you'd get addicted to"? No shit, the thing that makes her "better" is that she didn't even try them because she knew it was a big risk.
First step second step etc. Who what when where how.. doesn't it makes sense to talk about thy self . That answered the who. Now what the issue is.
She said she smoked weed what part did u miss. And she allegedly she is addicted and she just doesn't agree with her mom drug that she was born with. So what I am hearing if her mom smoked weed the daughter would be fine. ? I best most get friends get high and don't give darn. One thing for sure people who smoke weed over and behind here what they think they hear.bthe brain slows down. I bet she can't go a day with out social media or a cell phone. Now who really is addicted. Just because she has a chance to see her baby walk doesn't mean she can catch her if she falls. Hello. So stop and by the way did she smoke weed while she was pregnant? Don't be know fool because this is so ial media.
@@lankenstein5884I hate that you ain't know better than me. That wasn't the question. It's a opinion. Doesn't make it a fact. I didn't hear anyone sincerely say they love each other and want to etc. the same applies to relationships every one wants to be right. The devil is lie. Now get educated to understand and stop putting people down at anything. That's not loving humble empathy
Most importantly be spiritually still and pray and forgive thy self. Understand to be understood. Everything is blamed on parents the home.well . United States of America is a mansion,home! And it's obvious drugs are a multi billion business. The cell phone is a addiction worse than any drug .. it's like heroin, cocaine which I believe in my opinion bfir those who had the privilege became addicted to coke a cola,. Makes me wonder suger coffee tobacco and coka cola and sex and money. Please .. and moon shine. . People who wanna blow up innocent people and children etc. have some kinda of ?? . Don't forget in order to see the affect of a drug got to have been pigs.
She broke a generational curse well done proud of her 👏
By screaming and being mad disrespectful ????? Yeah right😂 what a joke!!!
@@Krystal.Pascal7 disrespectful? You still don't get it do you? The child wants to be heard. Most parents will always activate "disrespectful" "i raised you" "i carry you for 9 months" card while in fact it is their choice and most importantly its their RESPONSIBILITY to do so. Your child is there for you to become a better parent. Plus the mother in the video is playing victim and gaslighting the child. So stupid of you for thinking like that
@@Krystal.Pascal7 it's not disrespectful to show your frustration to your parents especially when you know they are doing wrong. Parents are not always right. Do better
@@Krystal.Pascal7 she (mother) doesn't even care what her daughter feeling even with she (daughter) screamed her lung out. When people demand something from someone, the person who being asked usually answer based on what the other person demand off, but her (mother)?? Nah, she even talked about her brother being murdered and others, doesn't have any ounce of care for her daughter while her daughter only want her affection. Yeah, the mother has been through hard life, but it doesn't mean that she raise her child that way and make her child suffer what she's been through
Well no cause the daughter is doing drugs
The mother is so stuck in her own self-pity where she cannot have empathy for her own daughter.
Narcissist
Well said
No shes a narc
Literally, but I get it .. the mom only see’s life from her perspective and so does the daughter, sometimes it’s hard to understand another persons pain especially when you’re blinded by your own … I feel for the both of them.
@@fashionizkee8734 that’s what a narc is ..
I felt that “I bounce between being that 15 year girl and the grown me”. So deep. She has a lot of self-awareness. I love you queen. So proud of you.
Such a relatable comment
This! That hit hard to me
My mom wasn’t an addict but the stubbornness and self pity, manipulation, etc keeps me in that same loop I have yet to grieve for our relationship but I’m understanding that as a mom of six, I really have to heal that little girl who just didn’t feel the love and worthy of it.
The mother will cry but alone and sad. The mother is so damaged
Broke my heart, she needs just hugs and love
"I had a very traumatic life and my daughter has to understand I didn't ask for my life to be like that..." omg, your daughter didn't ask for it either! This woman had the power and opportunities every day to turn her life around to give her daughter a stable life and a better mom. All it takes is consistency and faith that the work will pay off.
“…but she needs to understand…” I knew from that moment on, it was a lost cause.
"im sorry you felt that way about what i did" is NOT an apology. "i apologize for what i did and what it did to you" IS an apology. the mom did not apologize one bit.
no taking action to right wrongs is a TRUE apology
@@Unknown-lp9mu I agree that taking action is an ideal apology. That said what the first pointed out is the minimum apology someone can do and if a person can't even do that then are they truly sorry?
Literally she’s just invalidating what her daughter is saying
Yup she only worded it like that so she wouldn’t take accountability
My mother and grandmother say the exact same thing, and it's truly debilitating. I don't think narcissists can change, so I've decided to just cut contact.
The poor daughter is talking about how she is so present in her own daughter's life that she's experienced her first steps - something her mom was unable to do for her. The mom's response "You think you're better than me; ...drugs..., I can't walk, orthopedic shoes..." everything under the sun but an apology. 🙁
She basic answered the mom's question about being better than her through how she is there for her daughter and the fact that weed is the only thing she smokes for her anxiety but nothing further than that to become like her. It's amazing the mom didn't even listen to anything that she said. And what made me freeze was when the mom asked "have you been on drugs" or something along the lines. I was like, do you really wish for your daughter to be a drug addict like you to understand you? She understands but she never heard a 'im sorry'.
And yes her daughter is better than her
Crazy thing is , the mom is acting like she had no control of the drugs. She did. Drugs are something you choose, whether it was peer pressure, growing up with family using , etc.
I feel like even in another reality where the mother was not suffering from drug addiction, she still has that huge ego and wouldn’t be able to be a good mother…
@@rickyo7061AGREED. I understand that people go through things and that people make bad choices sometimes. But you cannot use it as a crutch and you cannot use that to justify your own wrong doings.
All the mom had to do was say “I’m sorry”. The daughter was willing to let go of all the hurt and pain for a simple exchange of …. “I’m sorry”. How evil can you be to withhold an apology so deserved.
She said she been apologized After an apology there’s nothing else but forgiveness and healing from the other end
She apologized.
The mom said she apologized for the lapse in not having a relationship with her daughter caused by her drug use, she also said she apologized for the hurt she caused her through her addiction but she thanked God that her mother took care of her inspite of her own addiction. The daughter is rude and disrespectful she cursed her and tried to belittle her, she wasn't talking about herself, she was trying to get this selfish child to understand that if she had been in her right state of mind she would have done better. The girl was still yelling and she didn't want to talk to her mother to mother or mother to daughter she appeared to only want to try and make her mother look bad, she was over talking her mother and said her grandmother apologized to her over 21 years ago, how does she know? She's only 24, also she said her mother put her in dangerous situations, yet she never said she was molested or anything, the daughter is disrespectful and totally rude.
@@denisewilliams3340 "I apologize if you feel some kind of way..." Is not an apology
@@denisewilliams3340 Just because she wasn’t molested doesn’t mean she wasn’t traumatized…
I wanna hug that poor baby! She been through so much. All she needed was a “baby I apologize for hurting you.” And that’s it!
For real! We are healing all alone and we can't fully feel complete until that apology even when we don't want it we NEED it and they still won't. It's so unfair ❤
I grew up with a mother like this, trust me.. they never apologize
I want to hug her. 😢
Her screams are so powerful and potent. You can feel the anger and sadness in it.
Yes I felt every bit of her pain
I felt it so deeply, had tp pause the video
man it made me cry
I agree but if she ever wants to heal she has to be willing to listen. She wasn’t even listening when Karamo tried to explain the side effects of her mother’s addiction.
I feel so much empathy for this young woman acceptence is hard to swallow when your not ready to loose someone and wish things could of been different I hope this young lady finds the courage to pick up her life when this sad chapter of her life has closed and hope the new chapter in her life brings her better things in life and makes her stronger and able to deal with things in a better way and wish her all the blessings God can give her and her daughter and partner and the rest of the family life's a funny thing who knows what possative surprised and unexpected blessings are around the corner God moves in mysterious ways
That woman is disgusting. Even in her daughter’s pain and tears, she couldn’t even reach out to ATTEMPT to calm her. What mother does that. She’s pushing everything to drugs which was even a choice she made. She’s so pathetic.
I’m happy for the courage of the young smart lady .
My both parents do this, it's awful
Lies Aerts I'm so sorry ,i wish you nothing but the best and hopefully you break this cursed cycle if you have kids ❤
Addiction to drugs is not a choice. It’s a disease. She said she started when she was a teen, the first time might be a bad choice but then she is just sick. Some people never heal from addiction. Your brain is changed forever and But on the rest I agree, she’s being so closed to her daughter and so defensive of herself. It’s just not right. No contact is the only safe option.
I hope everyone gets therapy! That girl really said « that generational trauma is not me » and rose up the challenge. She can be proud of herself.
@@schwap7210being a parent to young children and teenagers and being an addict is a choice in the sense that if you weren't a selfish parent you wouldn't have ever put yourself in the position to be an addict. You choose to drink every night, you choose to take drugs regularly. Most drugs you cannot immediately become addicted to, it happens over time and if that choice comes at the expense of your children's happiness, safety and love then you chose to do that to them. There's no excuse to be an addict as a parent.
She reminds me of my own mother
Self-pitying mother. Narcissistic. Selfish. Doesn't love her daughter. I pray this young lady remains strong and shows herself and her daughter what a woman can overcome and become. She is extremely articulate. Completely understand her anger when her terrible mother refused to acknowledge and comprehend her daughter's pain. Her daughter doesn't have to understand crap. You have no choice but to walk away from your mother.
AMEN❤❤❤
May God bless you and no one understands unless they have experienced the struggle ❤❤being handicap having children is always some difficultly no exceptions for those who just use drugs because they want to use
The mother has a story of abuse and neglect to tell as well. She does not know HOW to be there for her daughter. It's not for us to say whether she loves her.
Your right your comment is spot on. So fed up of these people saying oh the mother made mistakes. Excuses excuses. Only people who have experienced narc abuse will EVER understand. Her daughter don't have to understand jack. She is a dead beat mother. It's cold what I'm saying but she takes no responsibility. I am your mother now. Her mother is a NARC.
She has NO respect for her mother bro. I can see why.The Bible says Do not provoke your children to wrath. Oh we conveniently forgot about that didn't weeeeeeeeee.
The mother refuses to acknowledge her role in her daughters life because she had it worse than her daughter? That’s not drugs. She’s just a self centered bitter loveless person, and I’m so proud of Hannifah.
People with narcissistic parents get it.
There's nothing more frustrating than being emotionally drained and hurt by your parent, only for them to completely disregard or deny your experiences. You'll never get through to them. Narcissists don't change. All you can do is heal and be better than them.
100% right!!
So true. Narcissists don’t change. The sooner I learned this, the better off I was
Only Jesus can give them a brand new heart. I am tearing up for this girl. I hope they get her some therapy.
It’s so sad be cause I dated a narc and his mom was so manipulative and it made him the same hurt This young lady def need counseling because that was traumatizing
Yes, omg
“YOUR’RE STILL TALKING ABOUT YOUSELF WHYYYYYYY” that part got me In tears 🥺
Listen to what happened robbed at gunpoint she was in foster care because of that not my fault it's a problem which caused this and yes the person that should apologize is the person who robbed us
@@syrettabastien9575girl no you should apologize, apologize to the child you didn't give love to apologize to the child who couldn't express her feelings because her mother was so rooted in party party that no bodys problems matter but her own, you was a terrible mother and because your childhood was hard and because your adult life was hard don't give you no excuse to treat that girl like that. You learn from mistakes made by those around you and you better yourself so it don't happen to you. Now just because you got held at gunpoint don't mean to get to invalidate her own trauma just because you can't walk don't mean that the moments of her first steps didn't mean nothing that was supposed to be your babygirl and you and you alone are to fault for how she was treated and you don't get to pity yourself and say oh woh is me because you could've changed and you didn't you aren't the victim here she was. Your battles are over and yet you hung them over that poor girls head because you're a narcissist. You should've apologized instead of making it about you. Because it wasn't about you it was about your daughter
The fact that Karamo respected the daughter’s boundary of not wanting to have contact with her mom anymore & he got her off stage. That’s amazing because most people would definitely be like “that’s still your mom.. you gotta respect her.”
Fr, and it’s annoying as hell.
Yeah fr, like Dr. Phil in the pst got mad at a girl because she asked why her mother was on the stage or invited to the show or something. And he got mad and was like “I invite whoever I want on this show.” And I think this girl had some kind of animosity or trauma with her mother.
@@madamehoefyre1808i hate dr. phil with a passion. he feel like he knows everything and he’s so goddamn disrespectful too
No I seriously like how he conducted this entire exchange. I forget this man has a whole degree and profession surrounding therapy and interpersonal relationships! He did a great job supporting Hannifah, getting her to hear her mother without compromising herself and recognizing the best next steps- even if that meant leaving her mother behind (thank goodness she did)
that part! If I only had a dollar for every time someone said “but that’s still your mom”…
“You should respect me!”
A parent should respect a child also, it’s not just one way which is what many parents think.
She should respect her mom didnt abort her
@@donathageorge6551 you are defending a deadbeat parent who didn't care about their child's education nice
@@donathageorge6551 respect should be earned
@@donathageorge6551respect goes both ways tho
@@donathageorge6551clearly you would easily choose drugs over your own child with no hesitation
The mother really made me upset because her whole demeanor from the time she walked on that stage and sat down was disgusting! Your daughter is trying and crying out to you for you to hear her and you have yet to apologize for the emotional pain you’ve caused! Yes I understand the mom was going through a rough time but NOW is the time be a grown woman and apologize to your child! Saying “I wouldn’t be here” is very disrespectful in my eyes
She has gone through rehab they teach you how to better self, but not how to heal the family
I am sad for both of them. The daughter has to grieve the loss of her relationship with her mum because the mum is not ready to mend the relationship. The mum was trying but she can't come out of her brokenness enough to meet with her daughter. I pray that they get the right mediator to bring them both out of the deep pain they experienced in their lives.
And the way she was fake crying offstage - I was immediately done with her
This is so incredibly sad... I know exactly what the daughter wants, and she will probably never get it. Her mother is actually more broken than she is. The mother is just hardened as a defense mechanism. I think it's easier for her to be hard than to feel or acknowledge what her daughter is going through because her own pain has never been dealt with.
@@monifagilbert3613 she needs to grieve the relationship the relationship is lost. the mother is a lost cause
I’m really appreciate Karamo getting the mom off the stage once her daughter said she doesn’t want her in her life anymore. Helping with those boundaries from the jump!
Yes!!! 👏👏
Exactly‼️‼️‼️
He was tired of her in just those few minutes, so just imagine what Hannifah had to experience.
Its so refreshing to see a talkshow host actually advocate for the person who just needs someone else to stand up for them and validate their pain, instead of re-traumatizing their guests for dramatic effect and money.
Right
"I apologize if you feel some type of way"
Aint a apology. Point blank.
Note that she also said "if you feel some type of way about the way I was traumatized".
Pure narcissism.
@@deborahmenchini2931wow, can you imagine??? What type of demon is this lady
@@macavalli2619 Well... yeah i can.
This woman is a different level of narcissism and lack of accountability. The fact she can sit there while her daughter is pouring out her pain and STILL make it about her is beyond infuriating
The way her mother acts from the start has me on edge... The demeanor is scary
@starsonapollo5281 Seriously!!! I feel most mother's may feel one way but the second you see your child in pain it breaks any cold exterior you may have had
@@starsonapollo2 Narcs are in full demon mode honestly. Theyre scary because they act like a regular person with empathy and a heart, and then whenever they start switching up on you, and whenever you realize whats happening and fight back, you see their true selves emerge, Thyere a shell of a human, nothing there behind them souless eyes. Trying desperately to keep control of the narrative and you see they never really meant any of the friendship or love they gave
Mother is a narc -wow
She on TV she can't fold lol. I'm serious tho
People seem to forget respect is earned no matter your title as “Mother” You get what you give
Exactly! Respect is earned, no matter who you are
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤❤ Exactly
Generationally and sometimes they would bring religion into it and guilt children for feeling betrayed by not getting the love and emotional support from their parents that they deserve.
One example is the idea that disrespecting your mother set you a path of hell and mothers use that to their advantage to set whatever level of toxicity they can have to their children because no child of hers can disrespect her
The mom mentioning her orthopedic shoes when her daughter asked did she watch her learn how to walk is BLOWINGGG me lmao
Professional victim fr that was crazy!
The fact that she said “I couldn’t even walk.” YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND WATCH YOUR CHILD WALK
@@superkay4421smh, facts
I laughed at her late excuse😂🤣
I was so damn mad she makes me so sick! Like what the hell does that got to do with anything? 😂🤣
Karamo missed a major note when saying the daughter needed more time to understand her mother’s state of mind. She put in the time over the years of pain and abuse. There’s major narcissism elements in that mother’s behavior.
Bravo to this young woman!
i think he was jus trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but after everything i’m sure he’d take it back
No he knows. He just not going to go back n forth with her
Agreed.
I got Karamo point. It is not justifying the behavior, but understanding that her mother is not the mother she imagines. Yes you mentally can understand how drugs can affect someone, but you can't understand how YOU as a kid could be affected by an adult decision to use drugs. Most of us are presented with what a parent should look like, but when you don't get that it causes a rejection, you can't really process and understand how THEY can't do it but U can. That's what he meant. That's why at the end he told her to grieve, say goodbye to that parent U wanted to then be able to accept the parent U have (I mean accept the reality of who she is as a person, awful, but she is who she is outside of what you may want as a child)
Karamo always come sith the wrong takes. Hes an embarassment eith his painted on beard
"I watched my daughter walk" I felt that because when my son was a toddler sick with a fever and I had to rock his hot crying self to sleep I said to myself "my mom never did this for me" It's those moments I respect a woman for being a mother.
happy belated mother’s day !
Mum's don't usually do that for daughters they do it for sons. Daughters practically raise themselves and repeat the toxic cycle of neglect and abandonment with their daughters
@dearbrave4183 Well, I only have 2boys but I most certainly have 2 nieces that I have done that exact same for and helped raised them as my own.
@@1991MekaI'm glad you're showing them all love and compassion. Glad you made that step to better yourself. Much love
The screaming and voice tone do not help.
It’s not the drugs, the mother is a narcissist even now she make’s everything about her. Her daughter asks “can you say you saw me walk?” Then mom says “well I couldn’t walk I had orthopedic shoes” ma’am wtf does that have to do of whether you were there for your baby. And she can’t even say sorry for her past! Ridiculous. I hope this young woman finds healing because a narcissist mother will never give that!
I caught that as well. She doesn’t care about anyone but her self. It’s so sad
I think the mother is still using most ppl who’ve been clean or recovering from drug addiction, are remorseful for the pain and suffering, they’ve put their family through. She lowkey giving vibes that’s she still using.
Ive noticed addicts tend to be narcissistic, i think whatever drives them to "use" also causes them to be consumed and obsessed with their pain. so much so that nothing else (or anyone else) can ever matter as much as their personal pain.
Malignant, classic narcissist! I pray that the daughter heals 🙏🏾
Love this comment
with a narcissistic parent i understand her. this woman is saying “you didnt go through what i had to go through and your pain is not as bad as what my pain is so you dont deserve to be that angry” im so glad shes broke that generational curse and is a good mother for her daughter despite what her mother put her through
That's what I fight for every single day, to get to the point where I move out and become a mother, and raise my kids better than my parents have raised me. I strive to break generational curses cause they couldn't break their own
I’m not sure she has broken the curse she’s already admitted she smokes weed a door opener to heavy drugs
@@jaynesh2008Thats true, but seeing the way she was in the video I highly doubt she would ever to that to her child.
@@xheartsfor_U really most never want to but most ends up it’s natural if you don’t get help, she admitted to smoking weed why does she take that if she intends to not be like her mother the truth be told she will end up like that if she doesnt give up the weed and get therapy quick.
@@jaynesh2008weed is NOT a gateway drug. 80% of people who smoke weed will NEVER touch another drug.
as a former addict, i can say it is EXTREMELY important to apologize to those you have hurt with your addiction. period.
This mother is a prime example of why not everyone should be a parent and I just wanted to give the young lady a hug
Well we don't know her story. Maybe she was raped, assaulted, etc.
Same, plus am also grieving a living toxic mom
I have a mother like that,she's even ashamed of walking with me,when I visit her.
This how my mama treat me I just spoke out
That woman still has addict ways.. Kudos to those of us who survived the narcissistic mothers of that generation 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
We are strong and kind
❤
Survived but not thriving
@@inherblues7261 keep strong and do the self-work. It gets better, promise
@@inherblues7261 I know it sounds cliche but therapy does work! Don't know where I'd be without it
She can’t ask for respect as a mother when she doesn’t mother her child.
Thank you !
Right April 👍
okay dont respect her as a mother, respect her as an adult who you want to have a conversation with. what is the point of asking me to come on a show so i can be disrespected. the daughter is insane to think that is okay. no one else would sign up for being publicly yelled at or shamed so why should she?
@@supersenpainovablaze7078 she deserve it
@@supersenpainovablaze7078 She obviously did sign up 😭 also the girl was TRAINED to yell. She didn’t come out yelling. She yells because she obviously wouldnt be heard even if she talked slowly.
I just love how considerate the host was to the daughter. he knew the mom had to go and keep the daughter from feeling anymore pain. Then he comforted her and gave her some solid advice. Cudos to this host. Better than any dr. phil I’ve watched
Myself and my siblings were raise by a narcissistic mother. She was on drugs and a drunk and slept around our entire childhood. We were treated so badly, constantly telling us what pos’s we were, never such a thing as Xmas, birthdays etc etc
Her husband left her, none of her 4 children or 6 grandchildren speak to her. She lives alone in a trailer on her baby sister’s property (the only person that still has anything to do with her)
The day I chose to remove her from my life was when I told her do you realize you’ve never apologized to any of us for anything you’ve done to us. She said I’ve never done anything I need to apologize for. I was done with her that day.
I wish she would do a little self reflection but I’ve given up on that ever happening.
Sometimes no matter how bad you want something it just will not happen. You have to let it go and focus on being the best parent you can to your children.
"can you stand and say you watched me walk?" well "I couldn't walk, i had orthopedic shoes".... "you're the only parent in the house" "you're not gonna tell me i wasn't robbed at gun point."........ ma'am be so fr right now. this is exactly what she means when she said she makes everything about her.
Fr. Like did your daughter do that to you??? what’s that gotta do with your CHILD. That lady is crazy
That shit irritated me SO bad 😫
FR FR
"Just because you had a shit parent, doesn't mean you get to be a shit parent". My mom needs to hear this. I got so tired of hearing that excuse every time she put her hands on me. I hope the best for this woman. Even if her mom never changes, I hope she can work on herself and be a better parent for her child. If you have a terrible parent, ALWAYS strive to be better. Don't repeat history. Her mother is pathetic and I'm so upset for Hannifah.
#IAmSorryThatYouAreGoingThroughtThatRightNow
#PleaseLeaveAndMakeABetterLifeForYourself
#YouAreWorthyAndLovedAlways
I’m sorry that your “PARENT” is putting hands on you and I hope you get to the opportunity to escape such an environment
Exactly amen some people shouldn’t be parents
I 💯 agree some people just don’t see that
Narcissist mom
Her whimpers broke me. She’s so strong.
Me too. It got really hard to watch toward the end and keep listening to the mom talking about herself and watching this young woman get let down again.
The pain of watching your parent choose drugs over you is something that cannot not be compared to anything the fact that this generation is trying to overcome it is beautiful
Thank you
Much love to you
truth, my dad put drugs over us up until he died. my mom was caught in addiction half my life, i constantly wondered why i wasn’t good enough for them to choose me and my siblings. why i was so undeserving.. thankfully my mom has been sober for 8 years and has done everything in her power to make sure we are loved. i feel this girls pain and grief so much, to have lost a parent that is sitting right in front of you. so great that she is breaking those generational curses. 🩵🩵🩵
Unfortunately no one chooses drugs to take over their life, it’s an addiction and possibly the worst way to experience life. Now that her mum is sober, she has the choice to accept her daughters pain that was caused by her addiction, but her mum issn’t healed and chooses to focus on her own pain. Just heartbreaking
That girl’s mother is a textbook narcissist. She’s screaming & saying she just wants her mom to apologize for the pain she caused & that woman flat out refused & talked around it. I feel for Hanifa, honestly & I’m proud of her for being a better mother to her child.
Self control ,just how the child can stay away from drugs and break the curse she can . They neeeeed Jesus .
@@alziedownes1955 wtf
Absynthe: The mother is not a NARCISSIST. The mother has a painful past as well and you are listening to hurt people. Did the grandmother ever talked to her daughter?
Have the grandmother ever say to her daughter sorry!
You don’t know the mother’s history?
You have no idea what she went through?
So, leave the name calling out!
Would or could you have done better if you place yourself in her shoes?
I guess no!
STOP IT !
@Happiness In Heart she's clearly a narcissist. The signs are all there. If you can't see what everyone else sees, then I don't what to say 🤷♀️ I'm mean some people from abusive homes become narcissistic.
@@happinessinheart5340 she is.
Notice how the mom says "I apologize" but not "I'm sorry" The mother refuses to take full accountability for her actions.
She really said “I apologize IF you felt some type of way about what I was traumatized about…” like wtf is that??? She is gaslighting to the max and taking no accountability!
@@nakkesha yess . Completely invalidated her daughter feelings . When her baby said “ did you get to see me walk “ and her reply was “well I couldn’t walk” my heart dropped to my stomach . I could never imagine doing ts to my kids .
@@nakkesha "I'm sorry you misinterpreted me/you're so weak."
Saying I’m sorry also implies that you feel empathy. She’s not comfortable with saying “I’m sorry” because she simply can not. In her mind, she has no empathy at all. She’s too busy empathizing with herself. She uses the word selfish against her when in reality she’s pitying herself.
We don't even know what she apologized for because she didn't say
You can tell that she turns back into that kid that didn't feel supported or fought for. So sad. I hope she heals well and I believe she's a great mother.
The audacity of her mom to be crying in the beginning and then sit there and talk about herself and call her DAUGHTER selfish later on in the episode really gets me
They’re very good actors smh
@@ljackson24 sure
@@numberonetetofan Meaning, narcissistic mothers. It’s a whole dog and pony show smh
@@ljackson24 I thought you meant both her and the daughter lmao like this was all scripted. I was like no bruh I had a narcissistic mother I know ts is real 😭 but you right
“Remind yourself you’re your own rock” is a good way to say don’t lean on people especially when you’re hurt bc if they let you down it hurts even worse
👏🏼
She’s so articulate about her feelings and her needs. I love that for her and am thankful for Karamo giving her sound advice. He’s thoughtful and knowledgeable 👏🏾👏🏾
Damn rdxcdr
All facts . Like this girl seems so sweet
Yeah when you grew up in a cycle of trauma u kinda become a low key genius
@@stoplayin21 Preach !
The moment she snapped, i felt all her anger, disappointment and frustration bursting out. It's heartbreaking to see someone suffers so much like that. hugs for the girl.
This made me upset. This girl STILL didn't get what she needed... that mother is AWFUL!!!!! She CAN APOLOGIZE. She chooses not to apologize for her mistakes or for what she didn't know... man I hope that girl gets the healing she needs. I hope she heals with the love of her daughter ❤️
Thats my my r8t there, i alread removed her from my life issues and soon i will be moving out
I can't apologize for being a handicap parent and having operation whiched caused the use of drugs and having relationship being a single parent through out life I appreciate the comments it helps even to build a reflection on how to be better than you
@@syrettabastien9575 No you cant but you can apologize for not changing. Only you can truly grow as a person and this woman has not. A person who truly is getting better. Acknowledges their mistakes .
@@syrettabastien9575 stop playing the victim. None of those things had to do with your daughter. She still deserves an apology for what YOU AS A MOTHER didn’t take responsibility for. The fact that you still feel this way is proof that your daughter made the right decision in cutting you off. Having a mother that victimizes herself every single time her child brings up a concern, is one of the most traumatic things you can ever go through as a person.
@@syrettabastien9575 you know how many people I know who had health issues/became handicapped in one way or another, we’re single parents and STILL manage to not only apologize for their behavior, but for thing’s completely out of their control because of the way it affected their kids? A lot. Grow up.
her reaction to her mom’s “apology” LMFAO 10:29
shes so real for that. i hope she can heal completely and that she’s doing alright now
I’m glad she processed it too when she basically said “sorry you fell that way” my stomach dropped
She can only heal after her mom is ripped apart atom by atom.
@@Hewasno1 yea.. murder is a no no so
@@VlueberryBlue who said anything about murder? That's for humans. This needs some Suspiria-level shit. That mom's a witch and deserves to be disemboweled like one.
@@VlueberryBlueWhen she left the first time she was rubbing her hand like if she didn’t leave she was going to start swinging and like yeah I’m so mad I couldn’t beat her pathetic mom for her.
She’s more into the fact she’s being “embarrassed” on the show in front of people then her own daughter’s emotions. True Narcissist! That’s what I had to deal with my mother. She’s the same age as me (24) & it feels good now knowing I wasn’t the only one going through this & im not the only one out here breaking my generational curse for my future children !
Nope 💕
@@lizzarts nope what?
@@amogusamogos She's not alone
“Why you talkin bout yourself?!” The amount of times I’ve wanted to tell my mother that in immeasurable, I can’t imagine how good she must’ve felt finally asking that
This was powerful. Her mom is rooted in her own ego. She cant see anything else but her world and issues and has zero empathy for how her actions impacted her daughter.
She's rooted in shame that she refuses to face.
"I apologize IF you feel some kind of way..." is NOT an apology. The mom is absolutely ridiculous.
When the right way would be I apologize for having made you feel some kind of way.
literally
She kept being dismissive about her daughters feelings and calling her selfish when she literally kept talking about herself and what she’s been through instead of acknowledging what she put her daughter through that’s sad asf
Every kid deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a kid
Saying “I’m sorry I upset you” is an apology, saying “I’m sorry you’re upset” is horseshit. I feel for the daughter 😢
Saying that still won’t cut it and I’ve learned that from my parents, it needs to be more sincere
"I bounce between the 15 year old girl and the grown woman me" that hit my soulllll
That statement brought me to tears.
@@klove_life_blessings literally tears falling down after that one 😭
me too!!
Same, it hit hard.
trust that made me burst into tears
I’m in tears. she’s only 24 and she’s so mature, because she was left to fend for herself, to raise herself… and her screams, you can hear all that pain, you can hear her regress to her younger self, the self that was hurting, felt unheard, uncared for, unloved.. her walls broke and she returned to that child so desperate to have a mother. I wish I could hug her,,, I wish her so much healing,,, I wish the best for her and her daughter, and I hope she can love her daughter the way she wasn’t. 💔💔
So well said.
She's throwing a tantrum on live television she ain't fully mature yet
@@blacksun6245 I don't think you understand what maturity is mate 😂
@@blacksun6245 did you not read my original comment?!?!? “her walls broke and she returned to that child so desperate for a mother” I implied that she regressed, back to a child. children throw tantrums when they feel unheard, unloved or want attention/empathy. you’ve zero idea about how childhood trauma works, and how an adult with it would react in front of a trauma stressor.
obviously you’re the one who’s got the same intelligence as a child.
@@blacksun6245 she’s not fully mature yet because she’s not allowing her mother to disrespect her & not take accountability? it seems like you never dealt with a narcissist as a parent so I’ll let you be but that’s such strength in what she did. Got on national television in front of millions of people & talked about a topic that’s so hard to do, that’s such maturity.
Even tho the daughter is a grown woman now. That baby needed this! Get it out baby! You are a great mother to your own. You broke the cycle baby. I am proud of you!
The mother isn’t getting the point, the daughter is simply saying that she is now 24 and a mother herself and that her pain doesn’t validate mistreating your daughter. Realize how she hasn’t made any excuses for anything. That’s all she’s asking the Mom to do. I feel so bad because it’s so hard for people outside to get it. We are talking about years, months, minutes, seconds of constantly being in the household of a terrible parent. Each second you’re being mentally and physically broken down and it is indescribable with words because it’s not a one time occurrence. It’s thousands. The mother uses the word selfish when she is the embodiment of it. You had the kid now bear the responsibility.
Yea I have CPTSD due to those thousands of moments of trauma. This girl does too. 😢
@@kandb4life Hope you came/ can come to terms with it and recover. It’s truly awful.
I get this and felt it to my core people will never know the extent of how cruel, evil, and viscous people like her mother could be bc they couldn't imagine their mother doing it to them or them doing it to a child
Mother don't care!
@@kandb4life yes, I have CPTSD as well!
It upsets me because people who aren't accountable always want to compare their pain to the pain of someone else's pain. You can't compare pain.
"You can't compare pain." - I love this truth. Pain is not tangible, therefore it cannot be compared as if it were currencies (dollar vs pound vs yen). Doing so only creates more pain.
Came here from TT to see the whole video. The pain in her cries hit me so hard. I don’t know if she’ll ever see this, but I hope she knows how proud so many strangers are of her for standing up for herself and not letting her mother gaslight her.
Ditto‼️‼️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❤️❤️❤️
Same
Same
It brought tears to my eyes
As soon as she started talking my blood boiled. "I had a very tramatic life that I had no control over", sorry to say ma'am but thats when you learn from the life you had and make changes to where you can be a better mother and give your daughter the life you never had. That victim mentality dont fly when you are an adult and have children. Her daughter has done for her daughter what her mother should have done for her. Accountability is everything!!
her daughter is so right, all she does is talk about herself and what she’s been through, it hurts to see that she can’t see past all of that. okay everything is about her, her hurt, her addiction, her child & literally does not take any type of accountability for the way her daughter’s life paved out. i wish i could give her a hug, she’s so strong and doesn’t realize how strong she is, she will be a better mother & guide to her daughter than her mother ever was to her. If you ever happen to read this, you’re doing amazing this was just the first step of many and may God Bless you & protect you
She can't ask for respect as a mother
Poor baby! Some of us don’t have any other option than to be our own rock! You got this girl!!
the 24 year old has the right to feel what she feel at the end of the day
💯🎯!!!
@@LogantaliaferroShe gotta get rid of the pain tho
As a mother/daughter I cannot begin to imagine her pain. I’m so proud of her. Her growth is so powerful. She is a fighter. Through the pain and mourning she is still here. Being the figure she never had, especially now for her own. I’m so proud of her. I pray that she continues to heal and find peace xoxoxox good job mamas
❤❤❤ thank you
@syrettabastien9575 pretty sure she's not talking about you🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
This lady is the epitome of "it's everyone else's fault not mine"
you literally just described my dad
The mom is never going to apologize, take accountability or stop talking about herself. She’s the definition of narcissistic mom, I’m glad the daughter is cutting that toxic nonsense off.
I feel every bit of pain she’s displaying, having an incarcerated mother who was battling addiction & mental health problems is so hard. Her mother doesn’t understand.. I hope one day she will.
If anyone apologizes and say “if you feel some type of way” then that’s not a real sincere apology smh
This is the epitome of generational trauma… it’s keeps being passed down till someone acknowledges and faces the pain and breaks the cycle. The daughter is breaking the cycle. I wish her peace and healing.
I understand her mom went through things, but her mom cannot downplay her pain because she "hurt more". This really made me cry.
The daughter is a better mother than her “mother” ever was or will be.. all she asked for was an apology.. such an innocent child and to be as strong as she is now is amazing.. baby girl you went through a lot of shit that most people would not survive.. and continue to be that mother that she never was.. ♥️
Yes she can't ask for respect from the daughter cause she never mother her daughter
Yes! & honestly the daughter wants a relationship so she can be praised and have her mom acknowledge what a real mother is. But shes never going to get that validation or praise or joy from that narcissist. And some day she’ll realize she doesnt need it from her mom.
I am the daughter of an addict and I became one too and now.. currently I am in Treatment healing.. the hard part of this is..I see her mother.. her mom got help and forgave herself and to hear her daughter yelling and disrespecting her is difficult because she knows who she is today.. her daughter is speaking to her like how she once was and that’s hard.. her daughter can’t hear the growth in her mother because all she remembers is the last time they were in contact with one another.. as soon as she saw her mothers face..I’m sure her heart was racing with frustration, anger, and sadness..which she has every right to feel but she wasn’t able to have the moment she was hoping for because her emotions got in the way.. it could have been a healing moment if she was able to express her anger in a different way.. the mother did not have a wall up but the daughter did.. the daughter needs therapy before she can even take the huge step of confronting her mother and also she need not expect nor assume anything and just be open to TRULY understanding.. because if she understood..she wouldn’t have been yelling. I say all of this because of experience. Also, it’s very hard for a person who hasn’t done drugs the way an addict does them to understand where an addict is coming from.. this was painful to watch because I feel for both of them.
@@sistergrasschannelI appreciate you for your insight. I’m wondering why didn’t the mother just say I’m sorry and listen? That would have showed the growth she believes she has made. It’s the same excuse that occurs while using you just don’t understand. The reality is no child will understand and they shouldn’t. The apology would have begun her child’s healing process which would have demonstrated love and care. Perhaps the mother can’t apologize because she sees herself victimized by her daughters existence and her addiction. That hurtful conversation of why and how she got to the drugs is for her mother not her daughter. You cannot ask respect from a child you haven’t taught respect to nor if you haven’t respected yourself in the way you’ve lived your life. I feel they are both victims of their mothers only one of them is innocence in this situation and at this point it is Hannifah not her mother. Once you speak to that hurting child then her inner child can move forward and ask for understanding. Thank you for your insight. You are appreciated.
@@sistergrasschannel my thing is an apology goes a long way, the excuse of “I can’t apologize for the past.” Yes you can.. people do it every day.. the mother instilled anger in her.. my father is an addict and is recovering and I don’t want him to apologize for being an addict I want him to apologize for not being a father.. accountability goes a long way.. this mother did not want to take accountability for her actions that hurt her child… I am all about walking a mile in someone’s shoes, but it has to go both ways.. they both need help and therapy not just
the daughter.. I do see where you’re coming from and I can sympathize in a sense, but to see hurt in your child’s face that you created and not take accountability for it is an issue..
He is phenomenal. I love how he took control of the interview and validated her feelings.
We have to STOP making excuses for parents saying “oh they didn’t know how to do this or you can’t expect YOUR parents to show YOU showing that they didn’t have.” Some stuff is just common sense I feel for this girl we the same age I totally can relate to her she’s hurt.
She is so conceited, the fact that she had the nerve to say “my presence should be an apology” is wild. I understand she has gone through some shit she shouldn’t have gone through either. But… by projecting how SHE coped with a bad parent onto her child just continues that process of hate and pain(what I’m trying to say is maybe the mother was able to deal with having a shit parent but not everybody’s the same ex- her daughter who justs wants a simple apology). Sometimes being the bigger person is to just apologize wether you mean or not for the sake of someone you care about, and the fact that the mom couldn’t be mature enough to even apologize just shows the type of person, and how immature she is🤦🏽♀️
She's stubborn and selfish..
She cannot apologize for her behavior...
Her heart is harden...
The mom was trying to say that she wouldn't have come on the show in front of an audience if she didn't care about her daughter. The daughter had already made up her mind and has no ability to see that her mom went through a similar childhood with her own mom and also has some sort of physical disability. I don't think the daughter was right in this occasion
@@bibbiana4Lyfeyou don’t get a fucking award for showing up for your child after neglecting them their entire life. That’s not owed to you. She couldn’t even say the words “I’m sorry” without going on and on about her dumb sob story. The mother is an adult. She needs to act like it.
@@bibbiana4Lyfe I think the girl knows. it was repeated to her CONSTANTLY, Ya’ll always seem to somehow make her a victim when quite literally she has 15 to acknowledge her mistakes.
@@bibbiana4Lyfe nobody is faulting her for her response to her trauma, He are faulting her for the lack of empathy and self awareness she has for others.
I cannot with this mother...every single time she described her experience, her mom spoke about how she had it WORSE! 😢
The person that should be apologizing is the person who robbed me cause her to be in foster care and being mistreated
I felt this man! As African Americans, the mother daughter relationship is tarnished. Mothers ever apologize for anything but expect to still receive respect because they are mom when that’s not how life works
You just said a word honey.
Speak on it!!
Not always true. Never on Drugs but I was hard on my kids. I mean real hard. I apologized to all of mine when they expressed their pain to me.
@@crichellebell1098 how many times did they have to express themselves before you decided to listen to them as a person an not a disrespectful child?(If that’s the case)……. That’s done a lot also which is why a lot of us are still silenced in our grown adult years.
My mother would smack me on that stage😒 and my mom never listens it got so bad that I tried to open a window and run but I didn’t😕
I’m sending love and positive healing energy to this girl. I truly wish the best for her. “You are your own rock”
Her mother is nothing but a hurt child. She never grew past that, or let it go. Nor does she even have space in her heart to at least be proud of her beautiful, courageous daughter for breaking the cycle.
She’s an adult tho she deserved to have kids the moment you have kids you can chose to heal and do better for them that doesn’t give her a right to treat her like shit and still invalidate her
Yup she is, BUT that's not an excuse. I hope she never talks to her mother again, and I wish the daughter happiness, she's a good mother
Where have you seen me excuse her?? Knowledge offers tge power to move on. Hannifah deserves to know what her mom is actually doing so she can better avoid it, run from it and know not to bear anything of her mom's actions.
It's hard to let it behind when you wonder your whole life why they'd do this thing.
Cycle won't be broken till pain is gone. Pain will condition same relations new shell
@Chuh Wey false. Once clear boundaries are set, her mother's influence will not affect her. She already knew what was going to happen on the show. She needed guidance on how to let go of her mother and FULLY appreciate herself. Cycle is done.
The mom is pissing me off. Everything the daughter says, the mother brings it back to one of her many ailments because of her chosen drug use. She's a narcissist.
It's so sad how the mother doesn't recognize and acknowledge the hurt and damage she done to that young woman, because of that, I don't feel her mom is completely over drugs. A person recovering from drugs is very sorry and honest about what they ve done to hurt family and friends in the past. Praying for that beautiful young woman
I wish she took her mom on judge Mathis he would have ate her mom alive, sitting there only thinking about herself
@@heathab...._-_ exactly 😂
As a woman with a traumatic childhood, there is no excuse to cause repeated trauma for my daughter. Her emotional needs will Always trump mine. My heart hurts for this young lady.
"I can't apologize for my past" WHAT ELSE DO YOU APOLOGIZE FOR? That's the definition of an apology? God I feel so bad for this poor woman having to deal with a mom like that, trying to branch out just a bit, and getting treated in such a manner.
For her to call her daughter Selfish is just mind-boggling because she didn’t think it was selfish when she was doing drugs in her mother was taking care of her child she didn’t think it was selfish not being there for her kid but it was selfish the way that she’s talking now is very selfish she’s not even giving her daughter the acknowledgement that she was asking for. It’s sad that she doesn’t think she has to apologise for the trauma she inflicted on her child.
Because your not understanding what happened we were robbed at gun point she was placed in foster because of this so I'm the blame because someone else actions for her to come back into my care with so much hurt I tried and she ran away after that I never abandoned her
This is a clear case of a generational curse going through this family and I am so glad it's ending with Hannifah and her daughter. Grandmom raised her mother while dealing with addiction and then her mother turns around and does the same to her children. Now thank God her Grandma made changes in her life by the time Hannifah came around because she was able to help her not go down the same path. Just watching this gives me chills because you can feel Hannifah's pain and frustration.
And now daughter has a baby and is smoking weed
This reminds me of my mom... I feel so bad for this young woman. She's not being selfish, she's not being controlling, she set firm boundaries and recognized her value and in that she's seeing that her mother doesn't have a place in her life. I wish I would have had the courage to do the same. I hope she and her daughter and flourishing in everything that they do 🥰
i used to fight with my mom a lot and she didnt get along with my granny. now my mama has passed away and there is nothing i wouldnt give to go back and redo some things. i cry every day. I warn u, even little disagreements eat at u, haunt u when shes gone. Please do all u can to make amends. Try to encourage her to be tenderhearted, empathetic with u, to work with u on better communication, better words and better understanding and to not hold grudges. Let her know u love her and are just trying to get along with her and to help her. Your relationship with her is precious. Please i beg u to do all u can to try to make it work with her. U dont get her back when shes gone, passed away, 6 feet under. Then, there are no more chances, no more hugs, no more time, no more having her company. i would give every penny i have or anything, to have even another minute with my mama. I pray u make the most of your time with her and that u and your mom, heal your relationship. i dont think any relationship is beyond repair. God bless u.
@@amandagrace4461 Sweet sentiments, but every situation is different. We're close now though. She's right up on my shelf.
His approach is amazing he is more of a therapist and healer than a gossip messy day time host I pray he never changes!! God bless him
This! He’s actually trained and has studied this stuff so he knows what he’s doing which is great
He is an actual trained therapist.
Wow. The raw emotions this young lady showed and her mom to react the way she did. This hit me in the gut, and I just wanted to hug the young lady. I pray that she gets into therapy.
Something even therapy can’t fully heal ..she can just learn to except it for what it is and move on for the better. Trauma like this tho.. it always hurts , even just a little bit.
It’s your job as the parent to break the cycle. My mother had a horrific abusive childhood and she made sure she put herself through therapy and worked hard to give my sisters and I the childhood she never had. My mom was able to live her childhood through her children and now I’m 26 and have an Unbreakable bond with my mommy.
That’s amazing! I’m glad you got to experience such a good mom.❤
@@michaelamitchell1603 yes I’m truly blessed. I just wish there were so many ppl who can say the same
“You are your own rock”. The power in that is everything and shit something I struggle with on and off. Her pain was very very powerful. I hope she can pull the strength up to be everything she’s ever wanted other ppl to be for her❤️❤️❤️
From what I see she can do it
Narcissistic mother will not release her daughter so that she can have healing but keeps bringing up that she's in pain and her daughter is selfish. What a disgusting person deflecting wouldn't even give her an apology.
Baby the best thing you could do is stay far away from this woman cuz she will always keep you bound in pain because that's all she knows and you eternally hate her or try to get revenge, walk away. Stay away!
Bingo !!!! That’s it right there
This is it!!
She has every right to be mad at her mom for abandoning her after all those years because of her drug addiction. And Hannifah really had every right to yell at her, and thanks to her grandmother who raised her, I hope she and her mother reconcile
I never abandoned my daughter she ran away and it wasn't my fault being robbed at gunpoint for her to be put in foster care and be mistreated it's truly unfair when a person is being judged and they don't know the whole truth
@@syrettabastien9575girl you failed her even during the show, couldn’t talk about anyone BUT YOURSELF ur defo a narc
@@syrettabastien9575Do better. Ask for forgiveness. Strive for peace, love.
Her mom is a pure narcissist. I know exactly what the daughter is going through because I grew up in a similar situation and it sucks when you want your mom to change but they're not willing to change not only for you or for themselves. They will always play the victim no matter what until they look outside themselves and really acknowledge their b.s.
well said.
Having an addicted parent is hard. But having your lived experience not acknowledged from your only parent is a different kind of pain! I pray for this young lady!
The way parents of that time really think they DESERVE respect. I’m glad as a generation now we are changing this toxic mentality
Exactly!!!
She doesn't need her mother, she needed her. I hope she finds more love in the other things that are out there in world. Beautiful soul.
Like i dont need my mother to heal
This mother gave me anxiety and made me furious... I feel for this girl and she's doing a great job!
“I apologise for how my trauma made *you feel* “ MMM Just that SLIGHT edge to it pushing the blame right back to you, this woman is not apologising, and she never truly care.
I honestly felt " I know you were in pain, but why inflict ur pain on your CHILD" I felt that in my soul