The Four Cs of Parenting
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- Опубликовано: 5 мар 2018
- These are my FOUR Cs of Parenting that I first published in my Advanced Techniques for Counseling and Psychotherapy textbook back in 2009 - however, you can also read more about them in my book, Zen Parent, Zen Child.
Kaia is the most kind, peaceful person I have ever met, and I am honored to be her father (and I LOVE when she's in my videos - so THANK YOU Kaia!).
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Visit: www.DrChristianConte.com for more....
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Song: Always by Stephen Keech
#MuchPeace
I can tell she loves and respects her dad so much! You're doing a great job!
Appreciate you! Sending you all my best and tons of gratitude and peace! 🙏🏼
I was physically and emotionally abused as a child so as I matured and developed a relationship with God I knew that I didn’t want to do that to my children.
When my wife and I found out that we were going to have a baby we were elated. I was determined to be the best father that she could ever have. I was determined to never allow her to be scared or frightened by me. I was determined to always teach her that she could always count on me no matter what.
My wife and I sat down while she was pregnant and we talked and talked and talked and shared so many ideas in how we were going to be parenting our child.
The truly wonderful thing about my wife was that we were so much alike and we had so many of the same ideas and how we wanted to be a family. We didn’t want anybody else raising her but us. So she’s had no babysitters. She’s had no timeouts. She’s never had a hand on your butt. She has been raised by the both of us and we use three words that helped us in raising her. God. Love. structure and she’s 14 years old now and she is the most remarkable young lady I’ve ever known.
So I guess I’m sharing this with you because I agree wholeheartedly with your video and I support and cheer you on in anything you can do to spread this word to all parents out there because they need to hear it. God bless you my brother and great job to the your little one.
Here is my daughter doing this weeks Monday Devotional. ruclips.net/video/QV4dM6BTXL0/видео.html
Hey Chuck,
Man that is so powerful to share. Thank you for sharing that. I love that you were able to change the cycle and put love first. I really believe it's our job as parents to help make this world a better place for our kids. It definitely seems to be the time to lead with peace for sure. Sending you all the best my brother, and tons of peace!
Dr. Christian Conte thank you. Have a wonderful evening. God bless.
That’s awesome I hate my dad and that makes me so sad
Give yourself and your family some earthly credit. You make your choices and commit your own actions without divine intervention. You don't need to allocate results to superstition. That is emotional abuse in itself.
The 5th C is Character development... For the parent that is. Character development to become consistent and compassionate. Thanks Doc
I absolutely love love love her in your videos ! The way she looks at you fills my heart ❤
Thank you! My daughter's my life, and I love kind comments about her. Definitely sending you much gratitude and peace!
I LOVE THIS MAD. Please listen to him. I have a 3 yer old and I'm a single mum what ever he says I will religiously follow and tack in. Just look at how beautiful and happy n obedient his little girl is that is a beautiful family. All my Love from my family to yours.
I am so grateful anytime someone shares my videos - so THANK YOU so much! And I appreciate your kind words about Kaia. She's a true gift to be around. I love being her dad more than anything. Much love and peace from all three of us to you (and your family), too!
Great information and a great kid! You should be very proud.
Dr. Conte thank you for this!
So grateful for finding your channel. I’m a mom in a blended family with 3 kids with my oldest being from my first marriage. Am currently having such a challenging time with my 11 year old boy and I really hope these 4 C’s help me out a bit. Thank you for such great advice.
Hey Elvia - Parenting is flat-out the most challenging, honorable, (and rewarding) job we'll ever do. Please know I'm definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
100%! Much peace!
I'm so grateful to have found your channel.
I love these C’s . Effective parenting in 4 words. I love it 👍❤️Consistency is the strength of consequences, that’s for sure. Compassion is empathy, and empathy is the “glue” of relationships, and in parenting it makes us think outside ourselves and truly understand our children’s needs which are the root of their behaviors.
Choices is the biggest strategy I use to avoid power struggles with my 15 year old ( he thinks he knows everything by the way)
Thank you so much! Sending you (and your son) all the best and tons of peace!
Love your videos. You give me confirmation that im on the right path with my little girl.. KEEP PUTTING OUT GREAT CONTENT !
Thank you to you and your amazing wife and beautifull child. Thank you to you all for your advise is really helping me with my baby girl as I'm only 25 and am finding it hard but your advise keeps me on the right track.💙 so thanks💜
Thank you Emily! Your little girl is blessed to have a mother who cares so much about finding ways to help guide her (and I'm genuinely grateful that you find helpful things in what I'm sharing). Being a parent is the greatest gift on the planet, and even though we can't be perfect, we can always give our children our best effort. Sending you and your beautiful baby girl all of my best and tons of peace!
Thanks!! Can't wait for this information!
Sending you much peace!
Love your stuff man !!Teaching me a lot I am a learner and you are giving me an abundance to pass on and to practice.Peace brother.
Thank you very much! Mindful parenting will help us change the world together. Much love!
Thank you so much! Much peace!
I love it.
It’s great that I find your videos so educational. I was relying solely on my parents mistakes to lead my children and wonder at night whether I could easily make the same mistakes. Your videos make good parenting attainable and enjoyable.
Thank you so much! I put my heart and soul into what I do, so I really appreciate hearing that. Much peace!
Thank you so much for the great advice.
Thank you for the kind words!
Amazing video just in time to guide me with my son , thank you Dr Christian
Definitely. Sending you and your son all the best! Much peace!
Thank you. You have change my life for the better I am becoming a grade parent
Try to handle all things in the same day. So every day is a new beginning and a new day for fresh choices.
Love this 💜
Thank you!
Amazing....
Great video! I’ve been watching and re watching a few of these videos and it has improved my relationships with the people I love the most! My kids and wife!
My kids have been able to see a difference in me. And I know that because I see the difference in them. I am so great full for what I’ve learned in these short lectures. I’m ready to apply these 4 C’s in a productive way.
Thanks again Doc!
I appreciate hearing that a ton. Thank you so much. I really love being a father more than anything, and the impact we have as parents is probably the most profound impact we can ever make. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Dude, this and your other videos are great!
Thank you
Your daughter is the cutest!!!
I've watched many videos about the consequence part of parenting and most of it is not applicable to the real life. I really found this video useful, very practical. Thank you
Thank you for the time out your day to do these videos. I never had a good parent teacher/role model as a child. Mom left at 18 months, and my dad was physically and mentally abusive. I never wanted to have kids out of fear that I would have a kid like I was (which I was a horrible kid not gonna lie) or I would repeat the vicious cycle and become my dad; but I took what he did, and did the exact opposite. I don't yell, whoop, nor belittle. I shown my 6 year old little girl (Karma is her name) more love and attentiveness than what I was shown in 18 years. Thank you once again. This helped a lot. I don't show consistency when it comes to discipline. You shown me that it is important to keep my foot down.
Man thank you so much for what you wrote. I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through as a child, but I am so happy that Karma gets to have the love that you give her. I know I love being a dad more than anything. In regard to your kind words, it's funny because some people will just wildly cuss me out for taking time to make free videos (like they just get pleasure from trying to tear others down), but then there are just flat out awesome people like you who would take the time to say something kind. It's words like yours that will have me continue to make these videos. Sending you all the best and tons of peace!
My daughter is 9 years old and I haven't been the best parent I feel so guilty about it I had a when I was 19 I just wasn't ready I had a lot of issues from my childhood I just hope and Pray she doesn't grow out to hate me. I've been impatient lack of compassion always shouting and snapping over punishing. We reap what we sow and I haven't sowed good
I think it takes a lot of courage to own up to our mistakes, and if you watch some of my other videos, you'll see that I don't want people to live in shame. Even though we cannot change the past, we can work hard from this moment on to do our best.... And I'm certainly sending you all the best and much peace.
I'm so late on this , thank you
Great advice
Thank you! Much peace!
I am a new father and my son is only 4 years old and I never had a dad and in some regards I have might be a little more strict but I do often tell him that whining will get him "what will it get you Alex?" that's right nothing dad I tell him not to get upset and to verbalize the things he wants and that he'll get much further with me having an open communication and discussion then he will whining I know. At times it might feel like I can be a bit harsh and even though he's 4 I treat him like he is a human and his opinions and thoughts matter to me I will always teach him that he can get further with honey than with vinegar and the end of the day being the squeaky gear that simply gets oil for being squeaky is not what I want him to be but I care for him deeply and I invest a lot of time making sure that he feels listenes to I am consistent in how I discipline him. If I give him an ultimatum and he decides to go for the other side as harsh as it is I stick to the punishment or consequence to which has been set out .I have to say that I have been practicing your meditation routine since you made that up load and I'm finding it's helping me when I'm overwhelmed if my son is doing something that is frustrating me I'm now taking it slow deep breath through my nose holding it for a few moments and slowly releasing and breathing focused on my breathing until that moments passed I just want to say thank you dr. Conte your uploads are motivational and are helping me be the best dad that I can be for my boy. A side note is is that I have found myself more and more often doing the controlled breathing recognizing as you mentioned physiological effects will manifest in a short period of time I'm already feeling more relaxed anyways I could Ramble On and On thanks again for the upload
Thank you for your kind words, brother. Being a parent is the greatest gift we can ever have. I wrote a book called Zen Parent, Zen Child, and it sounds like that book would be helpful for you. Sending you and your son all the best and tons of peace!
Thank you very much . Dr Christian . I have child 2 years old , sometimes I don't know the best way to deal with him when he gets angry and how to teach him . Do you recommend any videos or book teach how to deal with this age correctly. Forgive me if I made some grammatical mistakes.
Thank you! Yes, I wrote a book called Zen Parent, Zen Child - and I definitely recommend that. Sending you and your son all the best and much peace!
Thanks u trying get help how deal with my 13yr old as I know it’s me messing up I just shout to much. Thanks u from 🇬🇧
Great video 👍🏼. On the bottom scroll you wrote about not raising or yelling at children because it activates fight or flight, can you make a video of how and when is the best time to raise your voice or yell at a child? Just want to know your take on that. Thanks!!!
Yes! That's a great idea. I have a ton of video to make, but I really like that because I think a lot of people struggle with understanding that aspect. I have a new show coming out on USA Network called The Secret Life of Kids, so now is a good time to share some of my thoughts on parenting. Thank you so much for your kind words. Sending you tons of peace!
Hey Lu, I wanted to share with you that I have a daily, one-minute emotional management podcast, and I addressed this question on that. My podcast is on iTunes, and it's called Emotional Management. Also, I'm going to have a call-in radio show starting in about a month, and I think this would be a great topic to call-in and talk about. In any case, I'm sending you all the best and much peace!
Dr. Christian Conte Hello! Thank you! I will definitely check it out.
Hey I'm not sure if you're going to see this but I wanted to comment my thoughts! I loved your other parenting videos, thank you so much for being mindful and amazing!
I just wanted to say, I've looked a lot into this in the last few years from experts etc.i just wanted to point out that inventing consequences for actions might do more damage and not achieve the goal to teach your kid in the longer term! For example the restaurant example, if the kid acts up the most logical thing to do is leave the restaurant explaining that he is disrupting everyone and in REAL LIFE that's what would happen they would get kicked out. The way I see consequences is will they be there when I'm not around? At 30 if my kid is rude and horrible in a restaurant he gets kicked out nobody will be there to take his TV away.
I recommend some lovely clinical psychologists and neuroscientist - Dr Laura Markham, Dr Shefali Tsabary, Dr Dan Siegel maybe you know them already!
Thank you so much! That's super kind. I love those people you mentioned, and I think you summed it up perfectly with the word "mindful." The more mindful we are about how we really want our children to learn about how to handle themselves for life, the more we can teach them in the most effective ways for them. Definitely sending all my best and tons of peace!
Helpfull yes for shure thak u
She talks and acts with like you but looks like ur wife she is beautiful
Lol Thank you! She makes me laugh. I love her so much. Thanks for watching! Sending you all the best and tons of peace!
Dr. Christian Conte I’m 24 and have 3 little girls. I love your videos your family is amazing you deserve more views
Thank you so much! That's so kind! I know your 3 little girls are blessed to have you as their mom! Sending you and your girls much peace!
Your daughter is a splitting image of your wife! Much love to you all, thank you for your videos, I'm learning all the time!! -Liz Rosenbaum
Just had the same thought :D This family is cool
That’s awesome! Does it apply with kids with diagnosis?
Yes, 100%. Loving-kindness, discipline, patience.... The Four Cs of Choices, Consequences, Consistency and Compassion include all of those, which are helpful in all parenting. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
When I was a child my Father simply said; Willi Billi, You have a choice - The RIGHT way or the Wrong way... The wrong way has serious consequences and the right way - I will be rewarded for... My choice...It's up to me!
Awesome video ❤ You do know yr daughter is a supermodel right? 😇
Aww! Thank you SO much! I love when people are kind on RUclips! Sending you all the best and TONS of peace!!!
My daughter is 5... She is fearful of me..... I need more compassion. Kills me... This macho mentality is going to kill me with regret.
It's definitely NOT too late. You got this. It takes a truly strong person to look at their life and be willing to change. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Bruh I don't even want kids, why am I watching this?
Maybe I'm trying to teach myself on how I'm deserve to be treated cause my dad was shit and so I let other treat me like shit too...
I love the way you teach parenting, but that tatoo thing on your arms may go against your own raw modeling lecture.
I wouldn't bother