DOES AN ALCOHOLIC HAVE TO STOP DRINKING FOREVER? (Stories from an Alcoholic)
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- Опубликовано: 14 июл 2021
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I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
My Story
My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
Drinking is something you should not have to think about. Non alcoholic's minds don't work that way. Trying to control it, ration it, etc, is showing you that there is no way for you to do that. You are correct. It is denial.
The power of denial!
I have tried to go back to drinking so many times. I tried drinking again two days ago and after making a fool of myself once again I wanted to kill myself yesterday...
This way of life is not normal,
That's why I can never be a normal drinker again.
Been 100% sober coming up 2 decades.
Noah, looking in shape. Definitely better sober than a drunk.
Life's hard sober, but harder as a drunk...
indeed. life is definitely not easier with alcohol.
It’s never worth it to go back I have so many horrible memories drinking now I see things from a different view a clearer view it’s a blessing some people didn’t get a second chance but you did!
Alcohol is ruining my life. I had a relapse.
It’s okay keep going relapse is one step closer to Recovery YOU GOT THIS!
@@SophisticatedDogCat it’s okay keep going don’t give up relapse means one step closer to Recovery! Trust me you Got this!!!!!!!
@@LynerdC Thank you. :) I was seven months sober and friends wanted to go out. I gave into the peer pressure. I look forward to a sober lifestyle moving forward. We're all in this!
@@SophisticatedDogCat we are all in this together keep me updated if you can YOU GOT THIS!
I keep telling myself I can moderate my drinking but if I'm honest with myself I don't think I can, I just can't have one beer/drink, 1 turns into 2 and 2 turns into a half a bottle. I don't think I'll ever be able to occasionally have a drink or 2, it's all or nothing, and at this point I feel like it's gonna have to be nothing.
For me, its dancing with the devil....
Honestly, no amount of alcohol is good or worth it. It’s detrimental at all angles. I have too much soul to drink spirits. The angst they bring my otherwise jolly energy is simply not worth the ethanol that is placed strategically into pretty bottles deceiving delusions of a ‘ good time.’
Keep going. It evolves into something better. All those things in life go up and down sober or not. I’d rather be sober and deal with shit. Nov 3 will be 31 years for me. I do not miss it. In fact, if I’m in a situation where there is major partying -drinking going on I just thank the man upstairs that I am out of that crap life and sip on my Rose’s lime juice and seltzer. 😉
Wow. I needed this message this morning. I’m one day away from 3 weeks totally sober. Only because 3 weeks ago I fell 15ft while totally wasted and broke my neck and my back. I can still walk and will hopefully not have to have surgery….but this was a huge deal. I should be dead. But sadly, I didn’t want to quit. Most days I still want to drink. It is getting easier but I completely get what you’re saying. Sometimes I just want to be left alone so I can get hammered all by myself. Thanks for this video. I really needed this motivation to keep going sober. Proud of you Noah!
Hope your Ok
As someone who went to rehab in 2016 and still hasn't touched alcohol, weed, or anything else since I would say an addictive person needs to understand who they are and why it's better to stay sober. Not everyone is an addict. But those who are need to come to an important realization.
Much respect my brother.. stay clean and sober. I just went on a 3 day bender of booze, and a couple other drugs after being sober 3 weeks. I'm back at it again a few days clean. Addiction and binging is strong. The 3 day unshaven dark circle eyes disgusted myself. I have a baby in the way.. trying to be strong and fight!!
I have never had a problem with alcohol, but I had a huge addiction with gambling, and yeah, I deluded myself many times that I was gonna go and play just for 5€, but in reality it every single times got out of control. Even though I am reluctant to say one can never get the power back in certain areas, my experience with gambling has showed thus far that maybe once one gets addicted , there is no going back to normal relationship with whatever it is.
When you are an alcoholic it means that the alcohol doesn't work anymore. You try very hard to get back to that warm fuzzy feeling you had years ago when you drank. But you can't. You built up a tolerance and it wont work. You will try to drink and drink but all that will happen is that you may black out. It's difficult to come to terms with. He makes a good point about drinking socially. Most alcoholics drink at home by themselves.
I was asking this question a couple days ago...wish I saw this video at the time. I am an alcoholic no matter how many times I try to control my drinking it never works out. It always ends up in a full blown relapse. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I can’t drink like a normal person, I’d much rather live my life believing I’m an alcoholic then fool myself drinking thinking I can handle my liquor. Last time I relapsed was on a 6 pack of beer told myself I would drink 3, ended up drinking the 6 bottles and wanting more.
Great video - keep fighting the good fight bro!
Wow, this was all very relatable. Thanks for sharing
Hey! Been watching your vids for a couple years now and no way am I a medically professional. Keeping that in mind, the way I stopped, been in and out with you, was going back to why I was always feeling guilt 24/7. It was like this perpetual feeling and always people pleasing. It came from childhood so there was nothing I could do about it until now. I’m learning to set boundaries, understanding I’m a survivor of emotional guilt since childhood, and that I’m kickin butt in life. Thanks and wishing you the best. I’m still learning about this whole thing too. No more guilt!
thx for your work , noah , this helps us all
Pretty accurate description of what I’m currently going through.
I will respond now to the mail of the rehab which is waiting for me in my inbox for 2 days now… it’s enough, this has to change.
Love your videos bro. I can relate so much to your addiction journey.
I tried everything under the sun without any addictive tendencies, but this damn legal alcohol got me hooked so hard.
You’re so correct!! It’s insane how accurate you are!!
Dude, I had not seen your videos in such a long time. Since RUclips changed the manner on how they would show you what videos you "want" to see. I could not remember your account for the life of me but I knew I was subscribed to you. I searched and searched, I figured the easiest way to find your channel would be to look through my subscriptions and find your channel. 102 channels unsubscribed later, I finally found your channel. Dude, I can so totally fucking relate to all your relapse videos and your rational. Loved your videos, always stuck with me man. Glad I was able to find your channel. I am having a "few" beers as i'm catching up on your videos.
Very honest...... great to see you looking so well and happy
Good motivation brother..✅
6 1/2 years sober and counting… Thanks for the pep talk today… ✌️💙🙏🇺🇸
Rehab and psychologists never helped me. Ultimately, it's going to be up to you. I used to drink because first, I needed it, and second, I loved to get drunk. I can now have a couple drinks, and have self control. This works for me, and not necessarily for someone else. You said you're under a spell. Very true. I had to teach myself to get out of that dependency of alcohol.
Hope your doing well Noah. You look healthy mate.
I just passed 6 years sober from drugs and alcohol. Just the thought of drinking slowly or having a beer or two and stopping makes me feel anxious.
This video spoke to me a lot - the comment about wanting to go home and get blitzed alone and resenting company so you can have that denial. I love the honesty
That was excellent - thank you!
The way many people talk about it sounds like the movie Drop Dead Fred where Elizabeth had this imaginary friend who was causing all kinds of chaos and then she had him boxed up for like 20 years. Then 20 years later, she decided to let him out of the box and sure enough, her imaginary friend continued to cause chaos as if he was never boxed up those 20 years. For many people, alcohol can be like that imaginary friend where no matter how long you stay sober, as soon as you start drinking again even 20 years later, alcohol can be like that imaginary friend causing chaos in ones like.
This helps me. Thank you. I always tell people I'm an alcoholic. And they say no. You're not. I tell them I am. I can't control my drinks. They don't wish to believe it and want to think I'm being dramatic. But I have given up on being a normal drinker.
Yes you can do it🙏🏼 whatever you set your mind to you can do it!
Belive can move mountins ! If you believe .
I believe in you Norh❤️ you are motivator to so many - now go show Them you can do it!
💯💯💯
I occasionally have a 0.0 Heineken or 3 and occasionally have a 0.0 alternative whiskey with Diet Coke. AA would say that’s a problem but it’s not for me. I get the taste I’m looking for and it’s nice to feel like I’m normal when I have one with my buddies. I’ve told myself time and time again that I’m sure I can drink normally but I just really want no part of the aftermath anymore. I hate the hangovers. I replay the tapes of my final days before I got sober 20 months ago every time I think I can drink the real stuff.
Im happy you shared this with me. See, you know the answer. The scary part is that little voice that keeps trying to make it sound ok to go back. Great work I love it :)
I started Naltrexone and works for me, drinking only occasionally, I don’t loose control any more, no blackouts, no binge drinking, food addiction stopped and compulsive repetitive maniac thoughts reduced to a minimum that I am able to control. In my previous life, I lost plenty of girlfriends, 2 wives, 3 businesses, 1 career, life savings, reputation, friends, connections, I wasn’t able to see my only son.
I really know how horrible can get. Addiction to everything that could take our pain away.
The anxiety hangover stage woke me up.
Naltrexone works for me. Check it out.
OMG...I was just telling my family “I could actually drink with u guys, this is a celebration”🍾 and I got a couple “we’ll keep an eye on u”s but in the end I decided I would much rather be there for the celebration 🎉
haha surrounding yourself with great people is key. Accountability surrounds me life now
It's worth the fight! Starting day one today no cigarettes or alcohol
You can do it! Hows it going so far?
How's it going 2 months l8r
I started drinking in my birthday at 13, I remember I wanted to know what being drunk was, I cant forget the feeling, this is what connected me to you because I felt the same way you said, I felt in love... since then I was drinking a lot until I was 19, I remember crying many nights asking whatever higher power to help me, then I had a car accident one night drinking with my buddies, I had a brain trauma, it wasnt something too serious but guess what? I could not get hammered anymore after that because my head crashed to the windshield and I hit the front part of my brain, not crazy hard but enuff to damage it in a way that if I get too drunk it would give me pannick attacks after a night of drinking, after that my life change it for the good but I cant lie to my self, I miss that deep numb feeling
🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻
What a blessing in disguise! I'm glad your'e ok..Jeez. Also, Thank you for sharing that honest thought about missing that numbness of drinking. Very understandable
Same thing happened to me kinda. a year ago I smacked my head extremely hard and now I have panic attacks day after as well.
I was like this. Drank because I had severe anxiety & just didn’t fit in. I’ve grown up & like who I am, I know back then I didn’t as I was always trying to fit in
:) So many people struggle with this thank you for sharing
The big thing is it's your mental health. I v bin in the same boat as you for years. We can quit drinking then go back. Because it works for ppl like us. It s a very hard road just listen to your self it's just always on your mind. You just have to fight it. It's not the booze it's your mental health. You just stick it out.
Insanity isnt doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. That's just stupidity.
I hope you stay clean man.
I’ve been clean for 4 months now and today for no reason the desire to drink was so powerful I very nearly gave in to it. I won the fight and I’m over it but where the hell did that come from.?
Felt like drinking some beers today after listening to this I feel like 10% better about not drinking today
You are lookin good bro! I drank last night and as always it is never worth it.. I hate how At a snap of a finger I can drink even with weeks or months under my belt.. "One is one too many one more is never enough......"
Keep trying. Focus on the weeks and months of sobriety you have instead of beating your self up for one night you gave in.
The thumbnail is hilarious 😂
I think there are two people in us the one who truly wants to drink and the other one who wants to never drink again. Not easy to resolve this conflict, but it's a good starting point to admit it's real.
Maybe with some psychological or philosophical work we could try to overcome this, don't know... I also think we could try to gain some insight from depht psychology aka psychoanalysis albeit my knowledge here is very limited.
Coming up to 3 years sober for me (I was drinking almost 1/2 a bottle of whisky per evening). Once you have crossed the line from a "normal" drinker to a problem drinker there is no going back. I know that if I had just a single sip of alcohol I would be back to square one , and unable to stop.
Hey what happened?? You just disappeared.... oh well. A.M if you see this all of us are with you! Prayers are in the airwaves now!!!!!
Dude, you know you can't the title is madness - Can I ever go back to drinking, sure you can mate, go for it? C'mon now, you're an alcoholic for life right
it's just a nice attention grabbing title.
for life
For me sugary foods is like alcohol...i can understand you in this video, it's just sugar food instead of alcohol
Part 2 now!!!!!!
How do you get out of this “bondage” situation that you are speaking of
I havent watched your videos in like over year and im 30 seconds into this one. First thing I noticed were your biceps (no homo) looking lean, keep it up.
I’ve been sober 3 years and life still feels fucking awful.
Do you work any recovery programs or have any additional support for mental health stuff?
Noah I strongly think your addiction is for the most part rooted you agreeing to everything your friends, family wants from you but you don't necessary want and you have lost your identity along the way. The day you stop agreeing to everyone and draw the line and listen to your body I think the alcohol will slowly decline.
When I drink my week has just five days. When I don't drink I have seven full days.
My sponsor said to me something that hit real hard when I sobered up over 18 mths ago “is it getting harder to be drunk (when/how u want) than to be sober?”-u described it perfectly when u were describing the front u put on, trying to work out how to get drunk without 00” knowing/the mask, etc. ur looking awesome mate!! I’ve ditched that fantasy-I know my addiction is not trustworthy, & will resurface if I ever take alcohol again. It totally sucks a while, but it does get better-SO much better!!Congrats man!!
I really really like what you say there, makes so much sense, thank you for imparting the wisdom, God bless
Yes you do
We agnostics.
If I’m enjoying it I’m not controlling it.
And if I’m controlling it I’m not enjoying it.
It depends do you have the allergy or no? If u do this is a no brainer, going back to drinking is suicide
Do you even like the TASTE of alcohol? Try a non-alcoholic Mocktail.
Life isn’t easy but it’s a fck of a lot easier without booze in the equation
Hopefully you can#
👏👏👏👏
AA says no.
if you have the mentality of an alcoholic any excuse is good to satisfy your desires. this is what an addict does to get back to using their favorite drug. This will bring nothing but pain, anxiety and frustration.
❤❤
Good video man. Hope your onlyfans is a great experience!
stay tuned ;)
learn to drink like a gentleman :p ive tried every loop hole like a shitty lawyer. the unmanageablity
This didn’t age well
So does every one that has an alcoholic father basically has the same thought that they all just want women to feel bad for them?
🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻
Keep drinking up clown
@@bingboompow8861 🤡