Then as a person that used to drink all the time, couldn't just have one, would drink until blacked out, and because of all that I can never drink again, I've been sober since 2011. Better? lol 👍
@@jaimereynolds258 😄🤭 Well said. (I am judging by your "lol" that it would be well recieved to use light hearted emojis.) Keep on keepin' on, brahette. Salute.
@@jaimereynolds258, I am with you on that, I had been sober for over 10 years, well not really sober I just didn't drink. I picked up a drink 2 years ago and was right back where I left off. I am now sober 2 years and work my 12 step AA program and have a sponsor. I will always be an alcoholic, I tested the theory of 'Oh I have been sober for ten years maybe I am not an alcoholic" turns out I am and will always be. I don't see this as a bad thing, it is only one small part of who I am🥰🥰
@@geraldinemoloney3706 If I take one sip, I will be right back at it lol. So none for me. I can be around it still though. No urge to drink. Happy you have help and are doing well 🥰
Yes heavy drinking can make you feel like you have the flu every day. I have always remembered when you said (I think it was you) it’s always o.k. to start over
I had my last drink 10/31/1993, I NEVER EVER let my guard down and have to hate alcohol for my own sobriety and sanity. I can remember when two days was a long time to be sober. I used to wake up and cry and think it is not normal to have to use a substance to get through the day. I had multiple suicide attempts, I stole, lied, begged and did whatever I can to use. Today I am brutally honest with myself and those around me. Please work hard, if I can do it so can you!!!!!
@icklethepickle depends how you look at it. There are a few people who are missing limbs or have an illness thats life long, yet live very happy lives. If you are dead in spirit, there will be nothing that will ever make you happy, no matter how you live.
@@Shammy_V I had a serious delirium after heavy drinking, the spirits were real and the horror was out of this world. I assume that is why they call alcohol spirits ?
I'm the wife of a (now sober) alcoholic. I found your channel years go when my husband was deep in his addiction and mental health struggles. At that time I actually felt jealous of your wife. Sure you kept relapsing but you were TRYING. It didn't seem at that point in time like my husband realized how much his drinking was affecting us. I'm a lot more knowledgeable on the disease of addiction now. My husband is now 4 years sober and our marriage has been saved, his relationship with our children has been saved. Alcohol is such a dangerous drug for some people. And it's so hard for a non-alcoholic to understand. I'm not an alcoholic and so therefore I don't get those intense feelings from alcohol that my husband gets. It's just different. And I really believe someone is either an alcoholic or they are not, before they even take their first drink. Alcohol affects alcoholics differently. I'm so glad for you and your wife that you have found sobriety again. Many prayers and congratulations!
Diffently is a huge allergy to the liver, kidneys stomach blood and huge to the brain eats the insides ....poor body ...killing brain cells ..... Have to change your way of thinking ....change your image Stop being an idiot be the person you want to be classy.....work on it... this is fr anyone who needs to hear truth
The first 3 days were the worst for me. I dont want to go back there. It was a very dark place. When you talked about laying awake all night. Been there. Panic attacks, been there. 102 days today..It gets easier..Can't get cocky though. I have given up for a year before. Went back. 3 months before. Went back. I watch at least one RUclips video a day to remind me and i pray to God every day to help me. Good luck.
I'm an alcoholic, that's why I do not drink. Stop now before something disrupting, or traumatic may happen. I disfigured my finger in a self inflicted party accident 5 years ago, doctors didn't have any sympathy and didn't fix me up, and my finger will never be the same. There's not a day that I don't think about it. Also considering irresponsible drinking history, I decided that I am too emotional and dependent to be moderate about the substance. Drinking only makes me look at my hand, and remember the scars of what I did to my once taken for granted very natural set of hands, now considerable mangled. God Bless You, Child of God. In Jesus Holy Name, Forgiveness, Grace, Amen!
Your descriptions are dead on and bring back memories like they happened yesterday. Thank you for making this video. I've twice relapsed in my life after 2 long-terms of sobriety and each time lead to a deeper, darker hell. I'm not quite sure how I lived through the last 2 years of the last chapter. On the 24th of this month I will once again have 2 years. Hearing your experiences brought back and made fresh the seriousness of working our recovery regime and staying in the light of honesty. Thank you again and I'm grateful for your recovery from this wretched disease.
I was also a constant relapser. You gave me hope when I couldn’t find it anywhere else. I’ll be celebrating 5 years on December 1st. Just continue to get back up brother, one day at a time.
So much of what you said is what I still go through. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing so many difficult and painful moments. Gives me hope.
Wow Noah, that was such a tough listen. You described the loneliness of addiction so clearly. All the mental gymnastics that we go through to hide the truth from our loved ones... and ourselves. It viscerally took me back to where I was two years ago before I got sober. I never comment on social media but felt compelled to in this case. I'm really proud of you for your 30 days and am excited for your future going forward. Much love
I totally agree with the description you gave, johnnixon and found myself while listening, reliving my drinking that came to an end 1-3-2001. Hearing what it was like NEVER gets old. Thank AA, group of Drunks, Good orderly Direction and an HP I developed once I could love myself again. Congratulations and my hope for all is to make sobriety their new way of life. It's a good life. We can look healthy on the outside with great bods and trying to say all the right things, trying to please others, etc. It's fruitless. It's ALL an inside job. Both physically and emotionally. Your liver will thnak you, among other organs that sustain your life. My best to all who are walking this road. Courage abounds and this alcoholic never overlooks that courage it takes for all to step into the light.
I got 6 & a half months! I’m so happy to see your face & I know you can do this. No drinks this evening, and go from there. You HAVE to be ready, that’s the only way to stay sober. My 17 yo daughter had to take care of me when I got wasted alone one night & almost died the next day. She saw what I did to myself & helped me. I told her that will never happen again, and so far, I’m good & it hasn’t. Never ever lose hope!
We just lost our only son at 38 after many attempts at detox. The pain of your loved ones will last a lifetime.The pain he felt must have become unbearable . He is at peace and we are lost for the rest of ours.
I started following you yrs ago when you were going thru your severe mental health issues. I have no alcohol issues but my mental health problems have become so much worse over the yrs and listening to you always helps me. I feels so alone with the way my mind is every day and you have always made me feel I'm not alone with what I'm going thru. I give you so much credit for being 30 days sober and for returning to rehab. Thank you so much for posting this. Please take care of yourself.
Thanks for sharing your journey with addiction Noah, it's helped me a lot. I'm over 2 years clean and sober now, never thought that would be possible for me. Keep fighting the good fight mate!
Noah, I’m sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s very challenging. Appreciate your honesty - a lot of what you share resonates with my story. Congratulations on this month, you’re making your way back. ❤
Wow, Noah. What an incredible video. I was rapt from start to finish. Such devastating honesty and bravery. You've suffered an awful lot but you're fighting for your sanity and your health. I commend you. Welcome back.
Awesome. I have no excuses anymore. I believe I finally stopped this past summer. From 3 drinks at least a day, to 1 a day. To 1 time a week. To none. Finally. Skin healthier. Memory improving. Cravings gone. Regrets, lingering. But I'm hopeful.
Hi Noah, thank you for being honest, genuine about your alcoholism.Pls remember that you are not alone in this fight, God is for you, with you and behind you! Dont despair and persevere!
Know how you feel total alcoholic went through dts many times hospitalized been drinking 11 years lost jobs I try to take it day by day it's the mental psychosis of this is why I fall. Anyway your video shed some confidence for me hang in there bro.... Danny
I quit counting sober days a long time ago. I thought about making beer bread last weekend but I knew how it would end. Said a prayer of thanks for getting home from work on Friday empty handed. Drove to visit my mom on Sunday and intentionally left my money at home. I know my drunk self very well. Sometimes I let a family member use my car all weekend. Do what you have to do. Hanxiety sucks.
Kudos to everyone working to overcome addictions. I was self-medicating for what turned out to be severe childhood PTSD.. My circadian cycles were all out of whack, which meant I didn't get a lot of sleep and when I did, I had nightmares, and passing out from overdrinking became my bedtime habit. The PTSD meds for sleep and preventing the dreams helped quite a bit, and put me in a much better position to heal my emotional traumas. It's been truly difficult work and really unpleasant, but so was the status quo, you know? Getting through the first month was ROUGH. I still get intrusive thoughts to self-medicate, but I've slowly shifted what that means to me to be more in line with good health. Getting up for another one became grabbing a chocolate bar, which I've now diverted to having a granola bar. Recovery isn't quick work, it's a skill you can learn to start and adjust the speed as required.. Not preaching, just speaking to others on the same general path I am, moving in the ways most suitable to the individual going through it. I am enjoying all of the encouraging comments here. :)
I relapsed for 10 years. I went to rehab 5 times. I’m 6 years sober. Back then, I had lost hope, I had dead eyes, I saw no escape. I also lost a friend in this madness who I was in rehab with. Someone said to me a long time ago ‘be curious.’ So today, I try all manner of things to uphold and support my recovery. Seems to me that is what you are doing. For a long time I had great resentment over the fact I couldn’t drink like other people. It lead to relapse, I hadn’t surrendered properly. Not how it is for me today. If I want to be congruent to who I truly am, the drink has no part in my life. Great vid. Inspiring my friend. A message of hope.
Noah i have followed your journey from the beginning, and i was waiting/hoping for this video to come. A lot of this sounds very familiar to me, i can definitely relate. Keep fighting the good fight and keep being humble and honest. I am happy for ya.
I so relate to the insanity of this. I was drinking a similar amount but also smoking weed. Went to rehab 11 months ago and been sober since. Been having some hard weekends lately with cravings lately but getting through
been following you for a few years noah. it appears as though your trying to resist your addictions, which keeps the problem close to the surface. always there, tempting you. ive seen you so happy when youve been sober and focused on living life. get back to that man... replace those "tempting thoughts" with more drive and direction towards building yourself up, weather that means physically or academically or creatively what ever,, just move on with living your best life. iwndwyt
Your channel is helpful to a 55 year old friend of mine who is a major alcoholic and wants to quit.i have liver cancer from chemical exposure from my old job and I'm trying to make him understand that that could happen to him from drinking and I might outlive him at this point
This journey is a mysterious one, brother. I watched your stuff as a resource when I was really struggling, years ago. I spent 12 years in the rooms trying to get sober and failing. I deeply, deeply relate to everything you've shared here. I ended up having a bizarre experience with my understanding of God changing to become more personal and intimate after beginning to approach alcoholism from an indigenous perspective, wherein I behaved as if I were directly dealing with a spirit I had made a deal with at some point in my life, one that was now attached to me. What followed after was some kind of exorcism, a complete surrender to God as I understood God, in which I heard a voice and did some strange things and saw some strange things. Nothing like it has ever happened in my life. Then the burden was lifted. I haven't been haunted a single time since then. Celebrating 18 months soon... I've never been here before, not even close. I go to AA every once in a while to see if there is somebody I can help, but for myself? I don't need it for my sobriety. Whatever was there is done, gone. I don't know how to explain it. I just encourage hope, faith, trust... open-mindedness more than anything, though. In order for God to change me, I had to change how I saw him. I don't know you or your life, but if the same could be true for you... try to dismantle the walls you have built around God. I hope you find and receive what it is you need, Noah.
My journey to God has helped me to quit. After 35 years of drinking, I knew I had to stop. I was trying for a couple years to do so. During that time, I would make it to between ten and fourteen days, just to start drinking again. There were a couple times that I would be drinking a few and then suddenly just know I shouldn't be doing that and I poured the rest of what I had in the house down the drain. It was April of last year that I finally stopped. I have the occasional temptation that lasts for a minute, but that is it. Praise to God.
Noah, whats the longest you’ve got sober? Keep up the good fight brother. I’m an alcoholic, drank daily like a madman for 15 years. Now at 18 months sober. 4 months ago I was diagnosed with a life threatening illness. This is I believe down to my years of abusing my body. Now I don’t even think about drinking with this on my plate. Just some food for thought for anyone out there. Quit whilst you’re ahead guys. Cause this situation I’m in sucks.
Are you sharing your illness and fight on RUclips? Another gentleman, in a similar boat, just turn on his phone and just started talking about his liver disease and diagnosis. In his first posted video and 2nd, he hit home on countless people. He has less than ten videos and it has given his experience, plight and illness a purpose to help others and unexpectedly he found hundreds/thousands of people pledge thanks and support. Share your story. Turn on the phone and post it. Praying that you have peace and healing ❤️🩹
I'm an alcoholic. We have an alcoholic brain, we are spiritually, mentally and physically ill. Our illness tricks us into believing we can drink, but we cannot. Keep up the good work. It is worth it 🙏
I've been wondering about you bro and had a feeling you were suffering. I've followed you for many years now and it's been the same ole same. Watching you get sober while I couldn't and being sober while you were struggling... the longest time I had was two and a half years starting in 2018. The last few years has been an in and out in and out struggle. I just got out of a 30 treatment (5th treatment) on Friday. I'm stoked to see you on the water wagon with me. I always appreciate your content brother. Keep fighting!
Love you brother! I’m proud of you man. Any steps in the right direction is something to be proud of. Regardless if you’ve taken those steps before. It doesn’t make it any less of an achievement. Keep me updated on your progress man. I can relate and apply a lot of what you’re going through. It’s extremely helpful❤️
Hi Noah, I've been trying the harm reduction method and unfortunately it gas backfired on me to the point I have to take time off from work, days I can't even get out of bed, family and friends worried for me. Depression and anxiety skyrocketing. I'm really trying my best but it's a constant war. I really do hope you will prevail and succeed, because I'm in my hell right now, and hope to escape these circumstances to finally be free and live a better version of myself life, free from that poison.
Along with support which I am in the process of obtaining, I will also be utilizing holistic approaches such as nutritional base to repair my dopamine and GABA system. One particular herbal root I found is called Kudzu root. You are an inspiration to me brother
Noah these drinking runs are so hard on our bodies and minds. You know just as much as I know that all these lies we tell ourselves lead to the same outcome. I have seven 9+ month stretches of sobriety. I lie to myself regularly to try to justify my drinking and every time I start out slow and easy and feel like I’m in full control and 3 months in and I’m drunk from sun up to sun down. I think my fucked up mind loves to build the castle just so I can burn it down. In the last 5 years my wife and I have built an extremely successful business, our kids are doing amazing in school and sports, my marriage has become stronger, but in the back of my head every once in a while my lies and justifications creep back telling me I can just have a couple. Today I’m 2 months sober and back on track again. Planning a trip to Germany in 2025 and already trying to tell myself I’ll stay sober until then so I can get pissed drunk on German beer when we go. I’m going to fight the thoughts and aim for lifelong sobriety. Being an alcoholic is the most exhausting and miserable part of existence. Been watching you for about 6 years and have watched all your ups and downs and know exactly what you are going through. Keep up the good fight brother
How do you get access to it? It helped for me to keep my fridge free of it.. I never go to bars, I think the best way to go about it is to not have the access. Whenever the craving comes theres so many different things to do and since its not accessible something else must help that feeling pass
This video touched me! I’ve been drinking for more than a decade in 35 years and i can proudly say that I’m 5 days sober I guess.. I never tried before but I have sharp pains in my stomach too Andy bowel movements are different lately. I feel better now but as they say day by day! I hope to get rid of the pain and be sober for a longer time!
Hey man, thank you for sharing. I'm almost 35 and spent nearly the last 15 years drinking nearly almost every day. I had about 2 months of sobriety under my belt about 3 years ago. I went to a buddy's wedding and was offered a small, small flute of champagne by the brides mother...not wanting to be the asshole, I accepted it. Well, you know the rest. That relapse was about 3 years ago, followed by heavy drinking most weeknights and blackout weekends. Some liver and heart scares later, and I decide i need to get back on the wagon. I'm almost at 5 months and my life has drastically improved... watching your videos helps me stay the course. Alcohol has been one of the biggest demons in my life. I relate to everything you've said. Its all true and very insightful. We deserve the rewards of sobriety. Thank you.
Noah you have been so lucky to come out of major depression in two years...its been a decade for me and still getting hard...i miss my old self and all the feelings and emotions...i remember when you are not depressed everything gives you pleasure like everything...and now locked in my head...feeling good for you
The temperance movement that began in the 1800s were our way as Americans to combat Alcoholism. Consumption was tearing families apart, whether it was from verbal or physical abuse. Or worse, death. I have had my struggles in the past, but for me, (and this works for me maybe not others) is not labeling myself as an Alcoholic. Not that I don't accept I have triggers and have had issues with it, but I have to know personally that I am stronger than a label. It was as if the label itself was an excuse for me to fall back into the same patterns. I started listening to your channel years ago and I hate that you have struggled, but I understand. I wish you the best in your continued journey towards sobriety and thank you for sharing the most intimate parts of your life with us.
This seems to be a continuous theme from many people commenting. I myself have gone back-and-forth on this issue. I think for today I’ve landed on being an alcoholic and thinking of it in no negative or positive terms. I’m either an alcoholic, an active addiction, or an alcoholic in recovery. I like the disease model. I’m finding success and thinking about treating my alcoholism every single day in order to stay healthy and thrive. Be a maximum service to myself and others. In the past when I’ve turned away from the label and thought to myself “I’m cured“ I quickly fell into relapse, but if I can think about it as something that I will need to work on every day, it keeps me grounded in the realities of my past. Everyone’s different though this is what’s been working for me I have no clue what works best for everyone else. I truly mean that.
@@bignoknow Thanks for the reply and insight. The beauty about us is we are all different, and perhaps at similar or different stages in our path to recovery. What works for one, may not work for another. I have appreciated your honesty and strive towards helping anyone struggling with addiction. I know personally I have and your videos have helped with that. This is just another perspective that I provide, but am acutely aware that it may not work for all. You're awesome, and your aim to utilize technology in a positive way is most certainly inspiring!
Don’t mean to be blunt Brother but I’ve also noticed you working hard in trying to justify the drinking for years now. It’s awesome you’re recognizing it. I know the thought process, because I myself was a heavy binge drinker. You’ve fought like a champ. You’ve stayed regimented in a routine where most people wouldn’t. Time to start thinking in drastic terms though. You’ve hit your 30’s (although age is only a number). Now is the time where you need to say no. Gone are the days where you can entertain inviting alcohol in your consciousness. I don’t mean to get personal, but think about Jesse. When you’re drinking I can guarantee she can sense the low drive. The days your sick because of that fog and putting up a front - she’s looking for the high energy Noah. I know this because it happened with my relationship. When we are in that alcohol mind space - we’re oblivious to what others can actually sense. It’s not just physical front you present - it’s the energy you bring into the situation. You even said it yourself … your eyes looked lifeless some days. What if she ever walked? What if your living situation suddenly drastically changed? What if Income suddenly came to a halt? I respect you sharing your story in this platform. It takes courage and even though you haven’t been completely transparent. Keep in mind you don’t need to share these updates with anyone - but you choose to do so - and that alone deserves recognition!! You’ve vlogged your ups & downs for all to see and this is helping so many people. Congrats on the 31 days Noah that is absolutely phenomenal. You’ll get to a year again, and further. And I know this time around you’ll keep it going and be happy genuinely while doing so. Awesome Brother, thanks for the updates you share.
Thank you very much for sharing, & for your honest & strength! I have been very skeptical of IGNTD, I thought it could possibly cause more harm than good for addicts. I was very curious to see your results from the program, & it is very enlightening to see that my suspicions were correct in the sense that harm reduction is simply not feasible for an addict. Perhaps it is only helpful in the sense that the addict will come to realize that harm reduction is not a reality for those with an addiction problem. Keep being very gentle, loving, caring with your self. You are a good, thoughtful & very helpful person. I am very thankful to have come across your channel!
Like you, I’ve lied to others many times and put up a front. But truth is, you can never lie to yourself and truly believe it. I knew what I was doing, and I allowed the addiction to slip back in. I’ve followed you for many years Noah. I’m hoping the best for you. Know there are others out there that understand the struggle. Stay strong brother
Best wishes Noah, you will get through this. I have followed the channel for quite a while, it's been a wild ride of highs and lows but I have never stopped feeling inspired by you. Yes, you have relapsed, the battle keeps going, you still suffer. But you also do so much more than than! You keep triying and growing and learning. We all wish there was some test or method, a single battle that we can win so we can just stop having to figth. But life is often not so simple. When I think of all the times of recovery and fall that we have seen in the channel it reminds of how failing once or even several times doesn't have to be the end of the world, even when it feels like it. As long as you can you keep getting up, it keeps being worth it. Thanks for sharing your experiences, I will keep rooting for you.
Good to see you're honest with yourself again. It took me many tries until I fully surrendered - and even now it's one day at a time. I'm curious: were you consistently sober in your RUclips videos from the last 12 months?
Have you ever considered ADHD? You seem to go from one addiction to another. Constant highs and lows. I go through exactly the same thing and I was diagnosed with ADHD towards the end of last year.
I believe Addiction never leaves us. Its built into everyone. For our tribe (addicts and alcoholucs), the Addiction Demon is clicked into the "on" position somewhere in our timelines, and for us, it's stuck there. Addiction is like the hands on a clock face. If it's not pointing at Alcohol or Drugs, it's pointing at shopping. Jacking off. Cash. Working out. Online trolling. Food. Codependency. Medical attention. Anger. Sex. Success. Our big lesson is moderation, staying in the moment, forgiving ourselves.
I love your honesty here, Noah. This says nothing about your willpower or character, as you well know, this is an insidious disease that is fully aware of exactly what to say and do in order to erode your resolve. You helped me get sober a few years ago, and I will forever be grateful.
During that scary panicky night, did you think about calling your dad or counselor, or 911? Beyond awful for you to endure that alone ❤ Stay hopeful & in the glimmer of light. You're not alone & you've proven you're stronger than you think.
You are so brave. I only recently found your channel as I'm on my own journey exploring sobriety for the first time in my adult life, at about 60 days now. The concealing of how much I was drinking was a big tell for me that I was starting to lose control. I don't have much wisdom to share at this point, but one thing that comes to mind that has helped me is Hebrews 12:1-3, "Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, and run with endurance the race God has set before us." I think He has big plans for you 💜. Will be thinking of you. God bless and be well.
I've been in recovery a little over 3 years now best thing I've ever done but man I needed this today thank you for the honesty I have followed you for many years now but this has hit home At how important recovery is and it absolutely must come first thank you once again 🙏👍🏻
I didn't get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking. Humility is the key to all my problems, when I am a know-it-all and take all the credit for the wonderful things in my life I'm in trouble. God is giving me the serenity to make peace with my past, and if I want serenity, I must forgive myself and others. I'm still living One Day at a Time, and I pray I'm sober until my death, then I can be called A Recovered Alcoholic. Peace and Love
I have always thought an AA slogan on the walls of AA should include the experience of the case of the " Yets" I'm so happy for you, my 45 year old son died 1 month ago....his life had become so Tragic ❤🍀
I am in Portland as well. Do you know of any local sober groups that do outdoor activities? I stopped drinking again 3 days ago and wonder if I should be around other sober individuals.
One day the penny dropped. It was the mental chatter in my head. There is no problem, I either drink or I don't. Who cares? I have no friends so the answer's nobody. I gave up spending money on alcohol. Where's the catch? No catch, I don't drink anymore, nobody could care less and I certainly don't because it was a boring waste of time and money.
It's one thing to be an alcoholic...but it's a whole other thing to be drinking and driving and putting others at risk. Imagine if you're drunk and kill someone else or a child. Get it together. You're a grown ass man.
Godbless you Noa ❤🙏 27 month's sober and clean ✊ Weirdly I stopped when I caught covid as was drinking on the Saturday n actually poured the third can away I felt ruff,next day felt so sick n was ill for 12 days Until I Made A Full Recovery 🙏 In a way was A Blessing as all I wanted to do was sleep ,that natural sleep that really makes you feel rested,been through hell with withdrawal and I've never looked back,I Get that lovely Natural sleep now and Thank God I'm Alive For My Kids and Grandchildren ❤🙏 Much Love and Wish You All The Best 🙂👍🍀🙏 From across the pond in Manchester England 🇬🇧
I am a relapser as well and your story was exactly what I needed to hear. I've been sober now for 65 days.
Let’s go!!!!!
@@bignoknow You've got this noah
Congrats I am 71 days sober today
Alcoholic here. Been sober since October 2011. Love to all those who deal with addiction.
Yo no longer an alcoholic
Then as a person that used to drink all the time, couldn't just have one, would drink until blacked out, and because of all that I can never drink again, I've been sober since 2011. Better? lol 👍
@@jaimereynolds258
😄🤭 Well said.
(I am judging by your "lol" that it would be well recieved to use light hearted emojis.)
Keep on keepin' on, brahette.
Salute.
@@jaimereynolds258, I am with you on that, I had been sober for over 10 years, well not really sober I just didn't drink. I picked up a drink 2 years ago and was right back where I left off. I am now sober 2 years and work my 12 step AA program and have a sponsor. I will always be an alcoholic, I tested the theory of 'Oh I have been sober for ten years maybe I am not an alcoholic" turns out I am and will always be. I don't see this as a bad thing, it is only one small part of who I am🥰🥰
@@geraldinemoloney3706 If I take one sip, I will be right back at it lol.
So none for me. I can be around it still though. No urge to drink.
Happy you have help and are doing well 🥰
Nothing lifted my drinking until I faced and began to correct what I didn't like about my life.
Yes heavy drinking can make you feel like you have the flu every day. I have always remembered when you said (I think it was you) it’s always o.k. to start over
Thank you for the support!!!
I can't even count the amount of times I failed at staying sober before I quit for good. Don't let another drink mean the end of trying
I had my last drink 10/31/1993, I NEVER EVER let my guard down and have to hate alcohol for my own sobriety and sanity. I can remember when two days was a long time to be sober. I used to wake up and cry and think it is not normal to have to use a substance to get through the day. I had multiple suicide attempts, I stole, lied, begged and did whatever I can to use. Today I am brutally honest with myself and those around me. Please work hard, if I can do it so can you!!!!!
Thanks so much for this video. You are able to convey the absolute terror, desperation and bewilderment involved in addiction
Never stop trying. .
I used to be afraid to die from alcoholism. Now I know that death is not the worst thing that can happen.
Spiritual death is worse
@@Shammy_V No, actually there are a lot of physical things that are worse.
@icklethepickle depends how you look at it. There are a few people who are missing limbs or have an illness thats life long, yet live very happy lives. If you are dead in spirit, there will be nothing that will ever make you happy, no matter how you live.
@@Shammy_V losing important people due to mistakes/poor decisions might be hard too
@@Shammy_V I had a serious delirium after heavy drinking, the spirits were real and the horror was out of this world. I assume that is why they call alcohol spirits ?
I'm the wife of a (now sober) alcoholic. I found your channel years go when my husband was deep in his addiction and mental health struggles. At that time I actually felt jealous of your wife. Sure you kept relapsing but you were TRYING. It didn't seem at that point in time like my husband realized how much his drinking was affecting us. I'm a lot more knowledgeable on the disease of addiction now. My husband is now 4 years sober and our marriage has been saved, his relationship with our children has been saved. Alcohol is such a dangerous drug for some people. And it's so hard for a non-alcoholic to understand. I'm not an alcoholic and so therefore I don't get those intense feelings from alcohol that my husband gets. It's just different. And I really believe someone is either an alcoholic or they are not, before they even take their first drink. Alcohol affects alcoholics differently. I'm so glad for you and your wife that you have found sobriety again. Many prayers and congratulations!
What a courageous and thoughtful share. Thank you.
@lukekemplinger. I pray I can say the same thing in my future!
Diffently is a huge allergy to the liver, kidneys stomach blood and huge to the brain eats the insides ....poor body ...killing brain cells .....
Have to change your way of thinking ....change your image Stop being an idiot be the person you want to be classy.....work on it... this is fr anyone who needs to hear truth
The first 3 days were the worst for me. I dont want to go back there. It was a very dark place. When you talked about laying awake all night. Been there. Panic attacks, been there. 102 days today..It gets easier..Can't get cocky though. I have given up for a year before. Went back. 3 months before. Went back. I watch at least one RUclips video a day to remind me and i pray to God every day to help me. Good luck.
I'm an alcoholic, that's why I do not drink. Stop now before something disrupting, or traumatic may happen.
I disfigured my finger in a self inflicted party accident 5 years ago, doctors didn't have any sympathy and didn't fix me up, and my finger will never be the same. There's not a day that I don't think about it.
Also considering irresponsible drinking history, I decided that I am too emotional and dependent to be moderate about the substance. Drinking only makes me look at my hand, and remember the scars of what I did to my once taken for granted very natural set of hands, now considerable mangled.
God Bless You, Child of God.
In Jesus Holy Name, Forgiveness, Grace, Amen!
Your descriptions are dead on and bring back memories like they happened yesterday. Thank you for making this video. I've twice relapsed in my life after 2 long-terms of sobriety and each time lead to a deeper, darker hell. I'm not quite sure how I lived through the last 2 years of the last chapter. On the 24th of this month I will once again have 2 years. Hearing your experiences brought back and made fresh the seriousness of working our recovery regime and staying in the light of honesty. Thank you again and I'm grateful for your recovery from this wretched disease.
I was also a constant relapser. You gave me hope when I couldn’t find it anywhere else. I’ll be celebrating 5 years on December 1st.
Just continue to get back up brother, one day at a time.
That’s so damn cool. Thanks for sharing.
So much of what you said is what I still go through. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing so many difficult and painful moments. Gives me hope.
Keep your focus. For me I wake with a prayer of protection and go to bed with gratitude. Thank you for sharing this ❤
Wow Noah, that was such a tough listen. You described the loneliness of addiction so clearly. All the mental gymnastics that we go through to hide the truth from our loved ones... and ourselves. It viscerally took me back to where I was two years ago before I got sober. I never comment on social media but felt compelled to in this case. I'm really proud of you for your 30 days and am excited for your future going forward. Much love
I totally agree with the description you gave, johnnixon and found myself while listening, reliving my drinking that came to an end 1-3-2001. Hearing what it was like NEVER gets old. Thank AA, group of Drunks, Good orderly Direction and an HP I developed once I could love myself again. Congratulations and my hope for all is to make sobriety their new way of life. It's a good life. We can look healthy on the outside with great bods and trying to say all the right things, trying to please others, etc. It's fruitless. It's ALL an inside job. Both physically and emotionally. Your liver will thnak you, among other organs that sustain your life. My best to all who are walking this road. Courage abounds and this alcoholic never overlooks that courage it takes for all to step into the light.
I just celebrated 6 years in September. Spent a week in detox in 2017. Thanks for sharing. ODAAT!
That is awesome!
Wow Noah. I was almost crying. You are tougher than I am. Keep going!
I got 6 & a half months! I’m so happy to see your face & I know you can do this. No drinks this evening, and go from there. You HAVE to be ready, that’s the only way to stay sober. My 17 yo daughter had to take care of me when I got wasted alone one night & almost died the next day. She saw what I did to myself & helped me. I told her that will never happen again, and so far, I’m good & it hasn’t. Never ever lose hope!
Congratulations man and your daughter sounds amazing. What a great story
@@Happysanjo She absolutely is, thank you!
We just lost our only son at 38 after many attempts at detox. The pain of your loved ones will last a lifetime.The pain he felt must have become unbearable . He is at peace and we are lost for the rest of ours.
I am so very sorry to hear this,.
I understand your pain but I think you just made Noah feel even worse.
Im so sorry ❤️
So Sorry ❤❤❤❤❤
I started following you yrs ago when you were going thru your severe mental health issues. I have no alcohol issues but my mental health problems have become so much worse over the yrs and listening to you always helps me. I feels so alone with the way my mind is every day and you have always made me feel I'm not alone with what I'm going thru. I give you so much credit for being 30 days sober and for returning to rehab. Thank you so much for posting this. Please take care of yourself.
Thanks for sharing your journey with addiction Noah, it's helped me a lot. I'm over 2 years clean and sober now, never thought that would be possible for me. Keep fighting the good fight mate!
amazing
Thank you! I am sharing this video to my son hoping it will help inspire him to get help and be sober!
🎉Best moment of your life, understanding how to get out of that hell. Twenty-five years sober - and listening closely. You're helping me!
Noah, I’m sorry you’ve been going through this. It’s very challenging. Appreciate your honesty - a lot of what you share resonates with my story. Congratulations on this month, you’re making your way back. ❤
I appreciate that!
Wow, Noah. What an incredible video. I was rapt from start to finish. Such devastating honesty and bravery. You've suffered an awful lot but you're fighting for your sanity and your health. I commend you. Welcome back.
Awesome. I have no excuses anymore. I believe I finally stopped this past summer. From 3 drinks at least a day, to 1 a day. To 1 time a week. To none. Finally. Skin healthier. Memory improving. Cravings gone. Regrets, lingering. But I'm hopeful.
Welcome back Noah. 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Hi Noah, thank you for being honest, genuine about your alcoholism.Pls remember that you are not alone in this fight, God is for you, with you and behind you! Dont despair and persevere!
It's good to see you back. .Thank you for your honesty. Take care.
Know how you feel total alcoholic went through dts many times hospitalized been drinking 11 years lost jobs I try to take it day by day it's the mental psychosis of this is why I fall. Anyway your video shed some confidence for me hang in there bro.... Danny
I quit counting sober days a long time ago. I thought about making beer bread last weekend but I knew how it would end. Said a prayer of thanks for getting home from work on Friday empty handed. Drove to visit my mom on Sunday and intentionally left my money at home. I know my drunk self very well. Sometimes I let a family member use my car all weekend. Do what you have to do. Hanxiety sucks.
Do what you have to do. Love that.
Kudos to everyone working to overcome addictions. I was self-medicating for what turned out to be severe childhood PTSD.. My circadian cycles were all out of whack, which meant I didn't get a lot of sleep and when I did, I had nightmares, and passing out from overdrinking became my bedtime habit. The PTSD meds for sleep and preventing the dreams helped quite a bit, and put me in a much better position to heal my emotional traumas. It's been truly difficult work and really unpleasant, but so was the status quo, you know? Getting through the first month was ROUGH. I still get intrusive thoughts to self-medicate, but I've slowly shifted what that means to me to be more in line with good health. Getting up for another one became grabbing a chocolate bar, which I've now diverted to having a granola bar. Recovery isn't quick work, it's a skill you can learn to start and adjust the speed as required.. Not preaching, just speaking to others on the same general path I am, moving in the ways most suitable to the individual going through it. I am enjoying all of the encouraging comments here. :)
I relapsed for 10 years. I went to rehab 5 times. I’m 6 years sober. Back then, I had lost hope, I had dead eyes, I saw no escape. I also lost a friend in this madness who I was in rehab with. Someone said to me a long time ago ‘be curious.’ So today, I try all manner of things to uphold and support my recovery. Seems to me that is what you are doing. For a long time I had great resentment over the fact I couldn’t drink like other people. It lead to relapse, I hadn’t surrendered properly. Not how it is for me today. If I want to be congruent to who I truly am, the drink has no part in my life. Great vid. Inspiring my friend. A message of hope.
Took allot of hope from your share. Wow. Thank you.
I’ve watched you struggling with this for years. I understand the struggle myself. I hope you find peace with being sober.
Noah i have followed your journey from the beginning, and i was waiting/hoping for this video to come. A lot of this sounds very familiar to me, i can definitely relate. Keep fighting the good fight and keep being humble and honest. I am happy for ya.
You got this Noah! God is great! I believe in you man! Happy new years to you and your family man! God bless 🙏💙💜🤍
Thanks for the honesty. I’m 2 yrs sober… this helps. I had some of the same thoughts, Best wishes dude.
I so relate to the insanity of this. I was drinking a similar amount but also smoking weed. Went to rehab 11 months ago and been sober since. Been having some hard weekends lately with cravings lately but getting through
Dude, you've come a long way! I've been here since the beginning.
Glad you are doing well. Wondered why you hadn't posted for so long. All the best to you.
I hope your suffering is over & wish you nothing but the best moving forward.
Thank you 🙏🏻. Hope you are well.
Your wife is a Saint.
Fact
been following you for a few years noah. it appears as though your trying to resist your addictions, which keeps the problem close to the surface. always there, tempting you.
ive seen you so happy when youve been sober and focused on living life. get back to that man... replace those "tempting thoughts" with more drive and direction towards building yourself up, weather that means physically or academically or creatively what ever,, just move on with living your best life. iwndwyt
Your channel is helpful to a 55 year old friend of mine who is a major alcoholic and wants to quit.i have liver cancer from chemical exposure from my old job and I'm trying to make him understand that that could happen to him from drinking and I might outlive him at this point
This journey is a mysterious one, brother. I watched your stuff as a resource when I was really struggling, years ago. I spent 12 years in the rooms trying to get sober and failing. I deeply, deeply relate to everything you've shared here.
I ended up having a bizarre experience with my understanding of God changing to become more personal and intimate after beginning to approach alcoholism from an indigenous perspective, wherein I behaved as if I were directly dealing with a spirit I had made a deal with at some point in my life, one that was now attached to me. What followed after was some kind of exorcism, a complete surrender to God as I understood God, in which I heard a voice and did some strange things and saw some strange things. Nothing like it has ever happened in my life. Then the burden was lifted.
I haven't been haunted a single time since then. Celebrating 18 months soon... I've never been here before, not even close. I go to AA every once in a while to see if there is somebody I can help, but for myself? I don't need it for my sobriety. Whatever was there is done, gone. I don't know how to explain it. I just encourage hope, faith, trust... open-mindedness more than anything, though. In order for God to change me, I had to change how I saw him. I don't know you or your life, but if the same could be true for you... try to dismantle the walls you have built around God.
I hope you find and receive what it is you need, Noah.
My journey to God has helped me to quit. After 35 years of drinking, I knew I had to stop. I was trying for a couple years to do so. During that time, I would make it to between ten and fourteen days, just to start drinking again. There were a couple times that I would be drinking a few and then suddenly just know I shouldn't be doing that and I poured the rest of what I had in the house down the drain. It was April of last year that I finally stopped. I have the occasional temptation that lasts for a minute, but that is it.
Praise to God.
Noah, whats the longest you’ve got sober?
Keep up the good fight brother.
I’m an alcoholic, drank daily like a madman for 15 years. Now at 18 months sober.
4 months ago I was diagnosed with a life threatening illness. This is I believe down to my years of abusing my body.
Now I don’t even think about drinking with this on my plate.
Just some food for thought for anyone out there. Quit whilst you’re ahead guys. Cause this situation I’m in sucks.
A bit over 18 months is the longest I believe.
So sorry for your health issues. Hope you can recover.
@@bignoknow Thanks again
'Quit while your ahead' such good advice 👍
Are you sharing your illness and fight on RUclips? Another gentleman, in a similar boat, just turn on his phone and just started talking about his liver disease and diagnosis. In his first posted video and 2nd, he hit home on countless people. He has less than ten videos and it has given his experience, plight and illness a purpose to help others and unexpectedly he found hundreds/thousands of people pledge thanks and support. Share your story. Turn on the phone and post it. Praying that you have peace and healing ❤️🩹
Never stop trying… much respect..♥️mama
Congratulations, praying for your sobriety 🙏🏻
I'm an alcoholic. We have an alcoholic brain, we are spiritually, mentally and physically ill. Our illness tricks us into believing we can drink, but we cannot. Keep up the good work. It is worth it 🙏
True that
You are not alone. I am also an alcoholic at 20 and have been almost sober for a year.
Amazing! Thank you.
Been fighting the same fight as you man.. just made it 23 days then relapsed. Just want this cycle to end. I’m 35 and it’s exhausting
I’m right there with you. I know how hard it is. Sure hope you keep trying.
That’s all we can do. People places and things. Living in vegas is tough as an alcoholic. Aa is next then rehab if I don’t quit on my own
Took me 5 relapses before I quit. You're allowed a relapse. We love you Noah. Keep going.
I've been wondering about you bro and had a feeling you were suffering. I've followed you for many years now and it's been the same ole same. Watching you get sober while I couldn't and being sober while you were struggling... the longest time I had was two and a half years starting in 2018. The last few years has been an in and out in and out struggle. I just got out of a 30 treatment (5th treatment) on Friday. I'm stoked to see you on the water wagon with me. I always appreciate your content brother. Keep fighting!
Let’s walk this together Tanner
Love you brother! I’m proud of you man. Any steps in the right direction is something to be proud of. Regardless if you’ve taken those steps before. It doesn’t make it any less of an achievement. Keep me updated on your progress man. I can relate and apply a lot of what you’re going through. It’s extremely helpful❤️
I appreciate that
This is amazing. Thank you so much for your honesty. I needed to hear this.
Great share Noah, I'm watching this segment and taking notes cause you're giving us some constructive ideas in this share 💯❤
Hi Noah, I've been trying the harm reduction method and unfortunately it gas backfired on me to the point I have to take time off from work, days I can't even get out of bed, family and friends worried for me. Depression and anxiety skyrocketing. I'm really trying my best but it's a constant war. I really do hope you will prevail and succeed, because I'm in my hell right now, and hope to escape these circumstances to finally be free and live a better version of myself life, free from that poison.
Along with support which I am in the process of obtaining, I will also be utilizing holistic approaches such as nutritional base to repair my dopamine and GABA system. One particular herbal root I found is called Kudzu root. You are an inspiration to me brother
Woa your back! I wondered if you still did videos.
Thank you for sharing brother, excited for this newest and most evolved version of YOU EVER 😎💪🏻❤️
Thanks for your video. You seem to be a nice genuine person. Keep up your work in coming right. You have the willpower my freind.
Addictions are difficult and we all struggle in some way. Hope the best for you. Jesus is with us always and through God all is possible. God bless
Hi Noah. Keep i
Up. You got this🙌
Noah these drinking runs are so hard on our bodies and minds. You know just as much as I know that all these lies we tell ourselves lead to the same outcome. I have seven 9+ month stretches of sobriety. I lie to myself regularly to try to justify my drinking and every time I start out slow and easy and feel like I’m in full control and 3 months in and I’m drunk from sun up to sun down. I think my fucked up mind loves to build the castle just so I can burn it down. In the last 5 years my wife and I have built an extremely successful business, our kids are doing amazing in school and sports, my marriage has become stronger, but in the back of my head every once in a while my lies and justifications creep back telling me I can just have a couple. Today I’m 2 months sober and back on track again. Planning a trip to Germany in 2025 and already trying to tell myself I’ll stay sober until then so I can get pissed drunk on German beer when we go. I’m going to fight the thoughts and aim for lifelong sobriety. Being an alcoholic is the most exhausting and miserable part of existence. Been watching you for about 6 years and have watched all your ups and downs and know exactly what you are going through. Keep up the good fight brother
How do you get access to it? It helped for me to keep my fridge free of it.. I never go to bars, I think the best way to go about it is to not have the access. Whenever the craving comes theres so many different things to do and since its not accessible something else must help that feeling pass
This video touched me! I’ve been drinking for more than a decade in 35 years and i can proudly say that I’m 5 days sober I guess.. I never tried before but I have sharp pains in my stomach too Andy bowel movements are different lately. I feel better now but as they say day by day! I hope to get rid of the pain and be sober for a longer time!
Keep it up!!❤️
Hey man, thank you for sharing. I'm almost 35 and spent nearly the last 15 years drinking nearly almost every day.
I had about 2 months of sobriety under my belt about 3 years ago. I went to a buddy's wedding and was offered a small, small flute of champagne by the brides mother...not wanting to be the asshole, I accepted it. Well, you know the rest.
That relapse was about 3 years ago, followed by heavy drinking most weeknights and blackout weekends. Some liver and heart scares later, and I decide i need to get back on the wagon.
I'm almost at 5 months and my life has drastically improved... watching your videos helps me stay the course. Alcohol has been one of the biggest demons in my life. I relate to everything you've said. Its all true and very insightful. We deserve the rewards of sobriety. Thank you.
Noah! Your dpdr vids helped me a lot back in the day.
Also, something I usually tell myself with certain bad habits is "I can't even do this once because for whatever reason I just go junkie mode"
Noah you have been so lucky to come out of major depression in two years...its been a decade for me and still getting hard...i miss my old self and all the feelings and emotions...i remember when you are not depressed everything gives you pleasure like everything...and now locked in my head...feeling good for you
Rooting for you,.
Thank you for sharing your story, I also keep going when I start
The temperance movement that began in the 1800s were our way as Americans to combat Alcoholism. Consumption was tearing families apart, whether it was from verbal or physical abuse. Or worse, death. I have had my struggles in the past, but for me, (and this works for me maybe not others) is not labeling myself as an Alcoholic. Not that I don't accept I have triggers and have had issues with it, but I have to know personally that I am stronger than a label. It was as if the label itself was an excuse for me to fall back into the same patterns.
I started listening to your channel years ago and I hate that you have struggled, but I understand. I wish you the best in your continued journey towards sobriety and thank you for sharing the most intimate parts of your life with us.
This seems to be a continuous theme from many people commenting. I myself have gone back-and-forth on this issue. I think for today I’ve landed on being an alcoholic and thinking of it in no negative or positive terms. I’m either an alcoholic, an active addiction, or an alcoholic in recovery. I like the disease model. I’m finding success and thinking about treating my alcoholism every single day in order to stay healthy and thrive. Be a maximum service to myself and others. In the past when I’ve turned away from the label and thought to myself “I’m cured“ I quickly fell into relapse, but if I can think about it as something that I will need to work on every day, it keeps me grounded in the realities of my past. Everyone’s different though this is what’s been working for me I have no clue what works best for everyone else. I truly mean that.
@@bignoknow Thanks for the reply and insight. The beauty about us is we are all different, and perhaps at similar or different stages in our path to recovery. What works for one, may not work for another.
I have appreciated your honesty and strive towards helping anyone struggling with addiction. I know personally I have and your videos have helped with that. This is just another perspective that I provide, but am acutely aware that it may not work for all. You're awesome, and your aim to utilize technology in a positive way is most certainly inspiring!
I needed to hear this today, thank you Noah
Respect buddy stay strong
Don’t mean to be blunt Brother but I’ve also noticed you working hard in trying to justify the drinking for years now. It’s awesome you’re recognizing it. I know the thought process, because I myself was a heavy binge drinker.
You’ve fought like a champ. You’ve stayed regimented in a routine where most people wouldn’t.
Time to start thinking in drastic terms though. You’ve hit your 30’s (although age is only a number). Now is the time where you need to say no. Gone are the days where you can entertain inviting alcohol in your consciousness.
I don’t mean to get personal, but think about Jesse. When you’re drinking I can guarantee she can sense the low drive. The days your sick because of that fog and putting up a front - she’s looking for the high energy Noah. I know this because it happened with my relationship. When we are in that alcohol mind space - we’re oblivious to what others can actually sense. It’s not just physical front you present - it’s the energy you bring into the situation. You even said it yourself … your eyes looked lifeless some days.
What if she ever walked? What if your living situation suddenly drastically changed? What if Income suddenly came to a halt?
I respect you sharing your story in this platform. It takes courage and even though you haven’t been completely transparent. Keep in mind you don’t need to share these updates with anyone - but you choose to do so - and that alone deserves recognition!!
You’ve vlogged your ups & downs for all to see and this is helping so many people. Congrats on the 31 days Noah that is absolutely phenomenal. You’ll get to a year again, and further. And I know this time around you’ll keep it going and be happy genuinely while doing so.
Awesome Brother, thanks for the updates you share.
Been waiting for this video.. always love your insight, Noah
BTW, this is very helpful to me but I think it’s helping you more so. Thanks
Thank you very much for sharing, & for your honest & strength! I have been very skeptical of IGNTD, I thought it could possibly cause more harm than good for addicts. I was very curious to see your results from the program, & it is very enlightening to see that my suspicions were correct in the sense that harm reduction is simply not feasible for an addict. Perhaps it is only helpful in the sense that the addict will come to realize that harm reduction is not a reality for those with an addiction problem. Keep being very gentle, loving, caring with your self. You are a good, thoughtful & very helpful person. I am very thankful to have come across your channel!
Bless you Noah, wish you all the best! ❤
Like you, I’ve lied to others many times and put up a front. But truth is, you can never lie to yourself and truly believe it. I knew what I was doing, and I allowed the addiction to slip back in. I’ve followed you for many years Noah. I’m hoping the best for you. Know there are others out there that understand the struggle. Stay strong brother
Thanks for this mate
You have to stop saying you are an alcoholic, I used to be an alcoholic now am 11 months sober, I don't even miss it
Such honesty. I just relapsed on Friday. And it was a real disaster.
We both can hit the pillow sober tonight!
Best wishes Noah, you will get through this. I have followed the channel for quite a while, it's been a wild ride of highs and lows but I have never stopped feeling inspired by you. Yes, you have relapsed, the battle keeps going, you still suffer. But you also do so much more than than!
You keep triying and growing and learning. We all wish there was some test or method, a single battle that we can win so we can just stop having to figth. But life is often not so simple. When I think of all the times of recovery and fall that we have seen in the channel it reminds of how failing once or even several times doesn't have to be the end of the world, even when it feels like it. As long as you can you keep getting up, it keeps being worth it.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, I will keep rooting for you.
Hi noah , i finally started trt , testosterone enanthate 250 every 3 weeks , i hope it will help me with depression and anxity
Educate yourself on the topic - that is a terrible protocol. Check anabolic doc or moreplatesmkredates, vigorous steve.
Good to see you're honest with yourself again. It took me many tries until I fully surrendered - and even now it's one day at a time. I'm curious: were you consistently sober in your RUclips videos from the last 12 months?
Have you ever considered ADHD? You seem to go from one addiction to another. Constant highs and lows. I go through exactly the same thing and I was diagnosed with ADHD towards the end of last year.
My spouse is bipolar ADHD & struggles with both alcoholism & moderation of anything at all.
I believe Addiction never leaves us. Its built into everyone. For our tribe (addicts and alcoholucs), the Addiction Demon is clicked into the "on" position somewhere in our timelines, and for us, it's stuck there. Addiction is like the hands on a clock face. If it's not pointing at Alcohol or Drugs, it's pointing at shopping. Jacking off. Cash. Working out. Online trolling. Food. Codependency. Medical attention. Anger. Sex. Success. Our big lesson is moderation, staying in the moment, forgiving ourselves.
I am so sorry you have been in so much pain 😢
I love your honesty here, Noah. This says nothing about your willpower or character, as you well know, this is an insidious disease that is fully aware of exactly what to say and do in order to erode your resolve.
You helped me get sober a few years ago, and I will forever be grateful.
During that scary panicky night, did you think about calling your dad or counselor, or 911? Beyond awful for you to endure that alone ❤ Stay hopeful & in the glimmer of light. You're not alone & you've proven you're stronger than you think.
You are so brave. I only recently found your channel as I'm on my own journey exploring sobriety for the first time in my adult life, at about 60 days now. The concealing of how much I was drinking was a big tell for me that I was starting to lose control. I don't have much wisdom to share at this point, but one thing that comes to mind that has helped me is Hebrews 12:1-3, "Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, and run with endurance the race God has set before us." I think He has big plans for you 💜. Will be thinking of you. God bless and be well.
Thank you for your kind words. I think you are very brave too. 60 days!!!! Wow. Congrats. Loved the scripture.
I've been in recovery a little over 3 years now best thing I've ever done but man I needed this today thank you for the honesty I have followed you for many years now but this has hit home At how important recovery is and it absolutely must come first thank you once again 🙏👍🏻
I didn't get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking.
Humility is the key to all my problems, when I am a know-it-all and take all the credit for the wonderful things in my life I'm in trouble.
God is giving me the serenity to make peace with my past, and if I want serenity, I must forgive myself and others.
I'm still living One Day at a Time, and I pray I'm sober until my death, then I can be called A Recovered Alcoholic. Peace and Love
I have always thought an AA slogan on the walls of AA should include the experience of the case of the " Yets"
I'm so happy for you, my 45 year old son died 1 month ago....his life had become so Tragic ❤🍀
That’s heartbreaking. Thanks for reaching out.
Hi Noah nice to meet you I'm Amyia your channel is awesome
I am in Portland as well. Do you know of any local sober groups that do outdoor activities? I stopped drinking again 3 days ago and wonder if I should be around other sober individuals.
I had a long comment but I guess I just want to say thanks for the video I can relate so much to your videos
One day the penny dropped. It was the mental chatter in my head. There is no problem, I either drink or I don't. Who cares? I have no friends so the answer's nobody. I gave up spending money on alcohol. Where's the catch? No catch, I don't drink anymore, nobody could care less and I certainly don't because it was a boring waste of time and money.
It's one thing to be an alcoholic...but it's a whole other thing to be drinking and driving and putting others at risk. Imagine if you're drunk and kill someone else or a child.
Get it together. You're a grown ass man.
God Bless you 🙏
Godbless you Noa ❤🙏
27 month's sober and clean ✊
Weirdly I stopped when I caught covid as was drinking on the Saturday n actually poured the third can away I felt ruff,next day felt so sick n was ill for 12 days Until I Made A Full Recovery 🙏
In a way was A Blessing as all I wanted to do was sleep ,that natural sleep that really makes you feel rested,been through hell with withdrawal and I've never looked back,I Get that lovely Natural sleep now and Thank God I'm Alive For My Kids and Grandchildren ❤🙏
Much Love and Wish You All The Best 🙂👍🍀🙏
From across the pond in Manchester England 🇬🇧