@Cory Alaric if you feel the need to do that firstly you should probably not be together you must be insecure or summit bro... and secondly it’s not cool to encourage other people to do that too and thirdly.... we’re here for kermodes epic rant so.... keep your weird shit to yourself ya?
Whenever a day starts to get a little grey, I pop on a Kermode Transformers review. So maybe, in a roundabout way, the Transformers movies did do some good.
This is, without doubt, my favourite Kermode review. I try to explain to people what is wrong with Transformers and any other pointlessly graphic action films, and I just send them this link.
What a wonderful rant =) I agree with everything except digital projection, its better for the environment and it makes it easier for indies to distribute their films, don't get me wrong I love a good 35mm print as much as the next filmgeek but wouldn't you agree mr Mark Kermode, that thas is also true?
You know whenever I had a bad day or low morale I open up this clip and listen Kermode's pure gold classic rant about Michael Bay. It always brightens me...
With reference to the 60mins battle sequence, it worked with Seven Samurai although that was well spread out with impeccable timing. I can't see it working in a Transformers film.
Probably my favourite Kermode rant. Maybe even favourite Kermode moment. I just wish I didn't love 'Armageddon' so much. I can watch it over and over. I despise the Transformers movies but 'Bad Boys' and 'The Rock' were two of the great 90's Action Blockbusters in my opinion..and I don't recall either of them being particularly pervy.
Great Mark. I love it. You get paid to see these films and still demand you should get your money back. You're a national treasure. That said, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to see the thing anyway, but the cost of making it was justified by your eloquent rant.
He had openly expressed that he liked The Avengers, Spider-man, Men In Black, Prince of Persia, Harry Potter, Twilight Saga ('Tis I dissent) and other blockbusters (of Transformers' mold). He also changed his mind about some directors or some films.
He's a film critic and journalist. With a PhD and everything. So yes, he's well-read, well-researched and well-versed in talking about movies - his job. Also his rant is completely justifiable, and, incidentally, more thrilling and entertaining than any of Bay's Transformer movies. Have you got that pen and paper ready for your apology, yet? ;)
@ShingoEX He was comparing Transformer's use of endless action scenes to the porn industry's use of the word, so the origin of the actual word doesn't quite matter. The fact that Transformers is a children's franchise kind of suggests that it's in some way a children's film, if not then children will go to see it anyway. Michael Bay has produced all of the live-action Transformers films to date, so it's fair to say he oversees the script.
I was looking at this film's IMDb page a while back and on the section where they have a single user review, the review that was used gave TF3 ten stars and called it things like "The next Lord of the Rings!" and "Michael Bay's Masterpiece". And the basis for this user saying these things was "I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane." And that's literally it. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
I've been saying 3D is a flash in the pan for years...we've been here before, it will come and 'save' the industry but then they never work out what to do with it other than spectacle - ie. help tell a story, really include the medium - and then it goes away again for another 20 years.
I work at a cinema now and all I do is push a button and wind back the curtains then turn the sound up (It's more than most corporate cinemas do!). I to don't like the fact it's become completely digital and something about film is fantastic. It feels very real where as digital not only takes jobs but it makes you feel brain dead when something goes wrong and you can't sort it yourself but have to phone up a special engineer..
"No editor in their right mind would say that a battle sequence should go on for 60 minutes." Well, someone hasn't heard of the film Gettysburg. Of course, in that film, the battle was kind of the point...
@DrJohannFaust Gaiking is going to be a japanese film made by the same people who made the space battle ship yammamoto film. And yes I agree with you I absoloutly adore the Rebuild of Evangelion films I just wish they actualy got a theatrical relese over here (I understand wy they didnt though).
@sulijoo I was locked in a mental paradox- so much action was going on and yet I was so bloody bored. Michael Bay also seems to share George Lucas' view that ordinary human beings in films are there to contribute screams to the background noise and flying limbs to the debris.
@yammaster2007 i do agree that he compares blockbusters way too often with 2001 and other great classics. nevertheless, these movies he's criticizing are the highest grossing movies ever and reflect the awful direction this industry has been taken (especially fora kid's toys franchise in this case). i think what he's trying to convey is that a blockbuster can still be interesting, well directed/scripted/acted and intellectually stimulating; which is why he has such a hard on for inception
I heard this from a dubbing editor that worked on the Mexican dub of all Transformers movies, "Michael Bay makes the worst movies to work with" He constantly changes edits, and thus, some of the material has to be redubbed. To avoid piracy, the video material is sent with everything blacked out except for the mouths, which is a nightmare for the dubbing. I can say from what I've seen that Michael Bay really is an overtly succesful bad filmmaker.
![BRASIL vs. URUGUAY [1-1] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 12](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-hWBAuxF1eY/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm caught in a RUclips hole of only watching Kermode review movies I know he'll hate, it's marvelous.
I hear you bro.
Me too, we must discuss this problem to people
Something good that came out of COVID finally
@Cory Alaric if you feel the need to do that firstly you should probably not be together you must be insecure or summit bro... and secondly it’s not cool to encourage other people to do that too and thirdly.... we’re here for kermodes epic rant so.... keep your weird shit to yourself ya?
I’m here from a Letterboxd list of his best rants lmao
Whenever a day starts to get a little grey, I pop on a Kermode Transformers review. So maybe, in a roundabout way, the Transformers movies did do some good.
"Shall we hear a clip"
"No, let's not."
That summarises it nicely I think.
he's too traumatized
I'd rather watch Kermode rant about the movie than the movie itself.
An adult swin style animation to mark kermode's review would be great
Watch cats review haha
"PHWOAR! EH! PHWOAR! EH!" - Mark needs to do this impression all the time!
Michael bays number one fan
"Well, that bottom called the director Hitler.." Greatest line in the whole review
It really is. I also love his "no" after "would a text be enough".
This review is more thrilling than the film.
I...I think he liked it.
Agreed. Opinions are so black and white these days, it’s nice to have a measured and balanced review for a change. Thanks Mark.
It’s 2019. I still chuckle when I hear “completely inexplicable fluids.”
This review is ten times more exciting than the actual film
I just watch this review from time to time when I'm in a bad mood and it always cheers me up immensely.
5:13 - Literally the only time I've ever seen Mayo laugh at one of Kermode's jokes.
5:18-5:30 is probably the most hilariously true thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
I completely concur!!
Rosie Huntington WHRROOAHH
WWWore ay! WWWore ay! WWWore ay!!!! Lol classic kermode!!!
That part about projectionists losing there jobs did actually happen, they had to rehire the projectionists as "Technicians" at our cinema, poor guys.
I love kermode’s impression of people complaining about critics 😂
"You remember the bottom we had from the first two movies? Unfortunately that bottom called the director 'Hitler' - but here's another one!"
LOL
This is, without doubt, my favourite Kermode review. I try to explain to people what is wrong with Transformers and any other pointlessly graphic action films, and I just send them this link.
"Would a text be enough?"
"... No."
😂
9:42
I love how Mark compares every film that's too long to 2001.
Perfect
8 years later you have a podcast with him. Pretty amazing. Congrats. ❤️
I love how bonkers he goes on this one. Off the hook!
As a big fan of the original children's toy I agree fully with what Kermode says. Michael Bay's Transformers Movies are a hideous disgrace.
"Cluster fruitcake is a word that has two meanings"
Definitely going to be quoting that out of context.
a proper british critique.
Waah-eh?-waah-eh?-waah-eh?
It's spelled "Whoar!", FYI.
W-H-o?
What a wonderful rant =) I agree with everything except digital projection, its better for the environment and it makes it easier for indies to distribute their films, don't get me wrong I love a good 35mm print as much as the next filmgeek but wouldn't you agree mr Mark Kermode, that thas is also true?
i feel like giving this video a standing ovation.
Love how there's a tab to buy this film to the right of the video.
‘Megan Fox PHWOAR EH PHWOAR EH PHWOAR!’
Holy crap, I must have watched this review five times in a row, SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!
You know whenever I had a bad day or low morale I open up this clip and listen Kermode's pure gold classic rant about Michael Bay. It always brightens me...
i'm bingeing this till the end of time
This was epic, right up there with Mark losing it over SATC 2. Love your passion for cinema Mr. Kermode, you're a good egg!
How am I only seeing this now? Absolutely incredible
Haha, brilliant review! Michael Bay should be given Life in prison with no parole for what he did (and still doing) to the Cinema!
Congratulations, you've come up with the perfect description of Michael Bay. Keep up the good work.
This review is actually thrilling.
With reference to the 60mins battle sequence, it worked with Seven Samurai although that was well spread out with impeccable timing. I can't see it working in a Transformers film.
The most anticipated movie review of the year DELIVERS. This is a rant for the ages.
Still never gets old 💝
this review is 1000X better than the the movie
Probably my favourite Kermode rant. Maybe even favourite Kermode moment.
I just wish I didn't love 'Armageddon' so much. I can watch it over and over.
I despise the Transformers movies but 'Bad Boys' and 'The Rock' were two of the great 90's Action Blockbusters in my opinion..and I don't recall either of them being particularly pervy.
The Rock is good because of Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery.
I love that rant!
I needed to watch this again. Thanks Mark.
Wow what an awesome review/rant
"13 assassins" was a good film with a 60 minutes battle sequence, great review though
*great
This is the best thing about Transformers 3.
Great Mark. I love it. You get paid to see these films and still demand you should get your money back. You're a national treasure.
That said, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to see the thing anyway, but the cost of making it was justified by your eloquent rant.
"Would a text be alright?" ".........no"
this is going down in history as one of best, most coherent rants of all time
He had openly expressed that he liked The Avengers, Spider-man, Men In Black, Prince of Persia, Harry Potter, Twilight Saga ('Tis I dissent) and other blockbusters (of Transformers' mold). He also changed his mind about some directors or some films.
I've never heard this one before, Mark does make me chuckle.
Pure 21st Century Gold. LOVE your passion Mr. Kermode
I've watched this review countless of times. Love it.
'When are we going to hear the clip?'
'No, let's not do that...'
Fabulous rant, mainly due to the fact that Mark is correct.
This Is Precisely Why I Love Kermode.
He's a film critic and journalist. With a PhD and everything. So yes, he's well-read, well-researched and well-versed in talking about movies - his job. Also his rant is completely justifiable, and, incidentally, more thrilling and entertaining than any of Bay's Transformer movies.
Have you got that pen and paper ready for your apology, yet? ;)
I actually liked this film for some reason
The very definition of optimism - RUclips are offering that I "Buy or Rent" this movie on the right hand side of the screen.
Takashi Miike did a good job of an hour-long battle scene in '13 Assassins'.
"he's not making avatar" and "the ship has sunk" wow 2 james cameron references I'm impressed
So I'm guessing Mark didn't like TRANSFORMERS 3?
Great rant Mark! Kermode is spot on.. because Michael Bay is one of the reasons for cinema going down the pan.
Top 3 Kermode Rants
1. Entourage
2. Sex And The City 2
3. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon
Have I missed anything?😂😂😂😂😂
Pirates 3
FRED: The Movie
And we can now add Avatar 2: The Way Of Water to this hallowed list. And perhaps also Moonfall.
One of Marks Best Rants Ever!!
@ShingoEX He was comparing Transformer's use of endless action scenes to the porn industry's use of the word, so the origin of the actual word doesn't quite matter. The fact that Transformers is a children's franchise kind of suggests that it's in some way a children's film, if not then children will go to see it anyway. Michael Bay has produced all of the live-action Transformers films to date, so it's fair to say he oversees the script.
This is by far the greatest rant by the Doctor.
one of the very best from Kermode
God, I love when he rants!
EPIC rant....x1000 times better to watch than the film
I was looking at this film's IMDb page a while back and on the section where they have a single user review, the review that was used gave TF3 ten stars and called it things like "The next Lord of the Rings!" and "Michael Bay's Masterpiece". And the basis for this user saying these things was "I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane." And that's literally it.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
I've been saying 3D is a flash in the pan for years...we've been here before, it will come and 'save' the industry but then they never work out what to do with it other than spectacle - ie. help tell a story, really include the medium - and then it goes away again for another 20 years.
The Stewardesses sounds awesome
Cluster "fruitcake" in a kids' film? What happened to "fiasco" or "disaster" as acceptable terms?
OK, that's legitimately awesome. Thank you Mark Kermode!
"As far as the rest of the acting is concerned, there basically isn't any"
Mark Kermode tells it like it is, he's on my wavelength.
I work at a cinema now and all I do is push a button and wind back the curtains then turn the sound up (It's more than most corporate cinemas do!). I to don't like the fact it's become completely digital and something about film is fantastic. It feels very real where as digital not only takes jobs but it makes you feel brain dead when something goes wrong and you can't sort it yourself but have to phone up a special engineer..
"No editor in their right mind would say that a battle sequence should go on for 60 minutes."
Well, someone hasn't heard of the film Gettysburg. Of course, in that film, the battle was kind of the point...
That's how you review Transformers. Well done Mark
@DrJohannFaust
Gaiking is going to be a japanese film made by the same people who made the space battle ship yammamoto film.
And yes I agree with you I absoloutly adore the Rebuild of Evangelion films I just wish they actualy got a theatrical relese over here (I understand wy they didnt though).
Well to be fair, Michael Bay asked projectionists to turn up the brightness in order to counteract the dimming effect that comes from the 3D glasses.
Sounds like Michael Bay has worn 3D glasses for too long....
Another lovely rant. I only saw the first "Transformers" movie. It was more than enough of the franchise for me....
@sulijoo I was locked in a mental paradox- so much action was going on and yet I was so bloody bored. Michael Bay also seems to share George Lucas' view that ordinary human beings in films are there to contribute screams to the background noise and flying limbs to the debris.
Unfortunately, I had to take my nephew to watch it at the weekend. Yes, Mark you were right indeed!
@yammaster2007 i do agree that he compares blockbusters way too often with 2001 and other great classics. nevertheless, these movies he's criticizing are the highest grossing movies ever and reflect the awful direction this industry has been taken (especially fora kid's toys franchise in this case). i think what he's trying to convey is that a blockbuster can still be interesting, well directed/scripted/acted and intellectually stimulating; which is why he has such a hard on for inception
I heard this from a dubbing editor that worked on the Mexican dub of all Transformers movies, "Michael Bay makes the worst movies to work with"
He constantly changes edits, and thus, some of the material has to be redubbed. To avoid piracy, the video material is sent with everything blacked out except for the mouths, which is a nightmare for the dubbing.
I can say from what I've seen that Michael Bay really is an overtly succesful bad filmmaker.
Haha! I love it how he always tries to contain himself, but then it's like a nuclear reactor going into meltdown, then finally it explodes.
12 years later... 3D? Anyone?
....................................so Mark liked it?
I guess he didnt like it then.....
Transformers 3 is a total clusterfruitcake! Hopefully one day a good director will come along and make a proper Transformers film.
The animated movie was a masterpiece. The modern films are a crime against humanity.
best review ever, best listener responce ever too
I wonder if Mark is looking forward to Transformers 4.
“Phwoar! Eh!”
“Phwoar! Eh!”
“Phwoar! Now!”
HOLY SHIT
That ship and water idea was great