The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make After No Contact That Ruin Their Chances With Their Ex
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- Опубликовано: 17 сен 2024
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The 5 Biggest Mistakes People Make After No Contact That Ruin Their Chances With Their Ex
In this video we’re going to discuss;
Mistake #1 - You’re Coming On Too Strong
Mistake #2 - Texting Too Little
Mistake #3 - Fighting With Your Ex Or Bringing Up Past Issues
Mistake #4 - Showing Too Much Emotion
Mistake #5 - They Don’t Focus On Themselves
These are not the typical lists that you can google, this is based on reality. Every mistake you see on this list has been admitted by our clients, and we’ve deal with these in our Private Facebook Group.
Mistake #1 - You’re Coming On Too Strong
The first thing we recommend our client to do is to do the No Contact Rule where you ignore your ex from 21-45 days, where you get a lot of anxiety built up and when it is over you end up making the mistake of rushing too much too soon.
Starting to text your ex, and getting a positive response you get carried away and start texting too much.
Mistake #2 - Texting Too Little
This is the opposite side of the spectrum; you have some people who has entitlement issues and you think that doing that alone is going to get your ex to beg for you back. It really doesn’t work that way. Falling into that trap can lose over a month of attempting to get your ex back.
Mistake #3 - Fighting With Your Ex Or Bringing Up Past Issues
I’m really big on the peak end rule, where you humans remember experiences, they remember the best part and the end. When working with clients I tell them to emphasise the peak of the relationship and client seem to struggle to let go of the end of the relationship and all you’re doing is forcing your ex to remember the end of the experience instead of the peak.
Mistake #4 - Showing Too Much Emotion
The science of relationship is following direction and following game plans. The art of the relationship is more on the emotional things saying I love you saying I miss you.
There are usually two types of people the logical ones and the emotional ones. Usually the logical ones can follow direct but struggle to show the emotional side of things. Where the Emotional one will struggle to follow through with directions.
Mistake #5 - They Don’t Focus On Themselves
When you are trying to get your ex back you don’t realise that your focus needs to be on yourself not your ex. I see clients doing this all the time. When that happens, this comes through there and you’re not as attractive to your ex as you first thought.
There is a reason why, people who are done trying to get their ex back and try to focus on themselves instead of putting their energy into their exes getting success with their ex.
Why? It’s because they’ve stopped obsessing about their ex.
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Tried the no contact rule of sorts twice towards the last remnants of our relationship, partly to give her space, and partly cuz I was a tad tired of me always having to initiate communication. Both times after talking with her after the breaks, she was mad and blamed me for not initiating, mostly because she viewed these as me testing her. After the second one, she formally ended the relationship for good, so buyer beware. I will say that after reading about Avoidants, I think is one of those, so that might explain her blaming me, her sort of playing the victim, etc., so maybe the relationship was doomed to fail, anyways, might very well never know...very, very sad, however, because we had lots in common and she decided to not fight for us like I did.
So I think I made Mistake #3 and asked him why he reached out so brought up the past 🤦🏽♀️ Guess that's that done then!
Guilty of #2. Except I had a NR and I’m supposed to send out my second text attempt and I’m scared.
And with #4 I’ve been getting better with the emotional stuff. I’ve been able to slowly work on the emotional side of myself, I found myself being cold.
Did the 1st and 5th part... but i didnt know before that this could turn a man away more ... (mainly people look at videos like this AFTER it happend so...) Women are mainly very emotional when they loose someone they love or already have feelings for after a while of getting to know eachother ( at least 3 months & longer) ,so the reaction with the emotional part is pretty normal.
Now ,im a woman. So i can only speak for at least how i feel myself. Some things that women have to do to get men back etc are super weard. In my case: A man would NEVER turn me more away if he would act very emotional towards me , but maybe thats just me. Some women probably dont like it either ,doesnt include me though ( i was NEVER in my life the one who broke up first , if i start to like someone, we dont have to be in a relationship already btw , i ALWAYS want to STAY with that person , EXCEPT , Obviously , if the man brakes up with ME. I do NOT like changing partners all the time its extremly annoying in my opinion , so my life choices were always to stay . I guess im one of the most loyal and faithul people ever after a very short time of dating a person already.
(btw with dating i mean getting to know eachother, i dont know why people consider dating and being in a relationship as the exact same, where i live ,which is in europe, i never heard of dating being already considered as being in relationship) , anyhow , you can alread fall in love BEFORE you get into a relationship so both dating and being in a rel.ship counts in my opinion (especially if you were dating for some time already starting at at least 2 months)
After 8 weeks of no contact he was very responsive, initiating texts and sending funny videos etc. But I think I came on too strong after we had plans to meet up and he cancelled, and I got upset (he said he had time to reconnect in a month, not now). He stopped initiating and has been sending one word replies or very little information. He told me he wants to see me it is just bad timing as he has a huge work project and has no time but I think he would make time if he wanted to (i told him that in a nice way, ugh). Should I pull back and do no contact again and focus on myself? I did great during the 8 weeks before...
HI Krissy...yes, I think you should pull back, focusing on your own needs and growth aspirations and then try to later re-engage to see if you can gain better traction.
one time i made the mistake of sending a 2nd reply and they haven't said a thing yet, i cringed at myself.
Ya, it sucks to not get a response. I think the more alarming thing is if you repeat the behavior and make it a precedent.
What if I did all of mistakes...then its the end? I lost him forever..😪
Hi Inesa....NO, you did not make all the mistakes. It never works that way. So much more complexity in matters of relationships and breakups. Go visit my website and tap into the tools and books and resources I have there that can help lift you up.
Ex broke up with me on Saturday... because she said she has no time for such things... 3 months together down the drain... 1 month of her being cold and distant... I'm hurt and broken and I've only been kind and caring and loving to her... she's been so cruel and hostile and horrible to me this last month... I love her SOOOOO much... but i'm so confused as to her blaming me for all her health issues... literally accused me for trying to kill her... FYI... It's long distance... by over 8000km... So i'm confused...
Fuck her, bro....she is a coward
Hi Coach Chris!:)
I asked my fiancé to watch a movie, he gave me «he is unsure» reponse. So i change the day, and he finally said «yes» but i feel like is being forced or am i just overthinking? Felt like he really dont want to go. Did i ask too soon? Meeting him this friday. Hope he wont bail on me.
Hey Miyaka, so I am now sure of your time line but I hope you have completed a No contact and some time in the texting phase before asking for the meet up. When watching the movie make sure you do not give him any relationship benefits while you are still broken up.
Chris Seiter
thank you coach C:) i really hope this goes well.
Me and my boyfriend just broke up 2 days ago and yesterday as we phoned but he rejected to re try the relationship, we were together for 2 years and I don't want to lose him how long should I try the no contact rule as I feel like I already failed by calling him yesterday
Hello there I know how it's feels to be heartbroken or going through difficulty in your relationship or marriage !!..
To restore back your broken relationship with your ex , reunite with your soulmate specific person including saving your marriage from divorce !!!..
Message his line for hlp👇...
*✛2349159558749👈♻️♻️≧﹏≦亲爱的你好*?????...
So I guess my question is what to do after committing any of these…my ex gf came back and I was too pushy and needy…I pushed her away…I’m starting no contact again but what are my chances? And is this what I should be doing?
Hello there I know how it's feels to be heartbroken or going through difficulty in your relationship or marriage !!..
To restore back your broken relationship with your ex , reunite with your soulmate specific person including saving your marriage from divorce !!!..
Message his line for hlp👇..
*✛2349159558749👈♻️♻️≧﹏≦亲爱的你好*?????...
Hi Chris,
there on thing missing in all videos run from all coaches ,i watched all your videos and they are really so great ,
my ex init contact after 30 day of no contact with me and after 2 weeks of interaction i did mistake by asking her to back togther before re-attract her, i did some mistakes as well by talking about the relationship,
is there still chance or i hurt my chances, when she reject me affter no contact she replied 2 days after to my story in facebook and again we had good interaction for 2 days but then stopped,
what should i do no contact again?.
the thing that miss in all coaches is what if i really did the mistakes affter no contact what to do then , i didn't pleaed or begeed and just wished to her better life.
Hey Solari, so if you did have these emotional conversations with your ex and they have rejected you when you asked to get back together. Ideally you would go back into a short No contact and re start the texting phase but make sure that you keep emotional composure when speaking to her and avoid emotional topics or talking about the past the second time around
@@chrisseitercoaching thanks @chris
what is the short the no contact mean?
i mean for how long
@@solarisoldadi2096 i think just a week or two
I did the 30 days of no contact and she then later blocked me on Facebook and a few weeks ago unfriended me on snapchat but still following on Instagram. The relationship was going so well honestly. She told me I was the best guy she ever dated, liked that I was athletic and attractive, all of the friends I met liked me and told her to not loss me and she said her dad could tell that I made her happy, but said that I was on chapter 8 while she was on chapter 4. But when we first started dating, she wanted something to last a long time and later on move in together. She does live about an hour away from me though
She did meet most all my family very soon. She met all my cousins and parents in the second week but told her that we didn't have to go to my brothers band gig and they were going but said it would be fun. But later, my dad had a gig and didn't know that some extended family was going and met them as well.
any updates?
So #2 was Confusing so text if so how much
The biggest mistake is even entertaining that thought. Just tell them to get the F out. I came here to see what she may try, in order that I may find out how to violently discard her, cos I have lost respect for her.
Hi Andre....our feelings can be confusing and complicated and even one dimensional after a beakup. I usually advise allow for some time and space before making any really important decisions about a relationship.
LMFAO if you are doing this you don't value yourself at all.