HOW I KNEW I WAS GAY
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- Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
- Hello! I get tons of questions about how I knew that I was gay/how to figure out if you're gay so I thought I'd make a video about it! I'm a bit all over the place, but hopefully you can still get something out of it. If you have any other questions or video requests, please let me know! Thanks for watching!
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“what if i’m just straight and going crazy?” i felt that so deeply 😭 fortunately i’m not though 😌
this is me rn
@@easybakeoven15 me too :(
@@easybakeoven15 sameee
Currently identify as bi, but half the time I have that “what if I’m faking it “ feeling, but then I see girls
SAME OMG
Same but I just saw thus girl and she was so pretty and I don’t know if I’m straight or bi or lesbian ughhh
this is exactly me, idk if i liked some dudes bc they are just nice (bc there so many trash men out there) or is it that i liked them for them, and as you said "girls" seeing them or coming around wlw i fall head over heels
I will always say love is love no matter what
I think we all go through that _"do I want to BE her, or do I want to BE WITH her"_ phase as we question our attraction to the same sex. I honestly don't think I totally accepted it until I watched Keira Knightley in the movie Love Actually (all doubt was removed) 😂 Oh, and I love that sweater...so pretty and looks super comfy!
Sarah Sloan totally get you with that , but I realized it's literally the persons energy there whole life u r attracted to thinkin they every move is adorable,gestures thoughts smile style and all but most importantly when your hot and drawn to someone of the same sex,u know it's more than looks when ur attracted to someone that's not so much a looker but just a pure beautiful soul. Because I thought I had a type and didn't like plus sized for a relation until there was a couple heavy guys I liked and this one girl that was beautiful inside out ,she was really sexy sweet and funny I didn't care that she was heavier' ..I knew surely then I don't want to b these ppl I want to b with them😹😊✨🎀 but anyway I love girls I'm so gentle to and with them .their literally flowers😸💐💐💐💐💋💋🦄🦄💕🌈🌈🎀
i came to this video, because i was confused. and this comment section made me open up my eyes so much to how many people are going/were going through the same things
@@gracebutler2 I know it might sound simplistic, but your feelings are totally valid and more importantly YOU are totally valid! Coming to grips with your sexuality can be incredibly hard and awkward (especially in a religious family) but there's a huge other family out here ready to embrace and celebrate you. Take your time, go slow and don't stress xo
every girl who struggle with this should read about compulsory heterosexuality. There's a doc called "am i a lesbian?" which talks about it and it's great, it made me realize i was gay and cleared all my doubts about if i was attracted to men or not.
Can you send a link to the am I a lesbian documentary? I don’t know which one ur talking abt haha
@AliciaGarcia can you also send me a link?
Holyyy, i just read about it, and i can legit relate to each of them.... Im becoming more and more sure of my sexuality
Omg thank you so much. It really made me more sure that i am a lesbian. Now i am 98% sure 😂. But i stil think that maybe i just make myself think that i am a lesbian cause i want to be it. *Confused* 😂
f its me wanting so bad to be a lesbian is also a sign that you are, in fact, a lesbian and not bisexual; or at least i remember that they talked about it in the masterdoc. Anyways, there’s nothing wrong in taking your time to realize, we have all been there!
When I came out I got a lot of people at school calling me names and stuff saying I was only 16 and I was too young to know but now I am 20 and engaged to a girl:)
Ella Hunter awww congratulations
Woa👏💕
How do they know they are straight 😂
Congrats !
congrats!
i think i’m bisexual because i’m a girl and i’ve liked both boys and girls but it’s been a while since i felt any attraction to anyone at all so i’m starting to think if IM going crazy ahahaha or maybe it’s just that no one’s my type rn
roach ! Omg I found an avocado yayyyyyy😁
rochelle that could definitely make things more confusing. try not to stress about the labels too much and just let yourself feel your feelings!
I relate to this!! I thought I was gay but I haven’t had a crush in LITERALLY 2 years (and I’m 16 so I feel like I should be crushing on someone), and now I’m questioning if I’m on the asexuality spectrum🤷♀️ also it’s difficult with quarantine and not seeing people often
I made the mistake of going into denial mode and over compensating. I kind of suspected during my teens when my first sexual daydreams always revolved around elaborate super heroine situations, being rescued, or them falling under a love spell or potion, or being kidnapped etc. Although not 100 percent gay, I now accept I'm probably around the 90 percent mark, and made the huge mistake of ignoring what I felt and entered a doomed ten year marriage which I only escaped from last year. Not only do I feel I wasted my 20s, it wasn't fair on my ex husband. If you know you're gay, don't suppress it, because trust me it doesn't go away.
I struggled with my sexual orientation for over 4 years. I don't wish that on anyone at all, it was living hell also considering I have an anxiety disorder. I would worry every day 'am I gay?' or 'am I attracted to her?'. I struggled with a lot of internalized homophobia which im sure a lot of others can relate too. I still doubt myself, but its completely normal! I just got so sick of societal gender and sexuality norms that one day I was completely like, screw it. I like who I like and that is okay! coming to the conclusion that I liked girls was really really hard for me, but it felt like such a relief from all the years of constant stress and worry.
How did you do this and did you not think it was ocd?
I’m still confused, I just don’t know if I’m bi, or straight but think I’m bi, but I’ve had girl crushes before but I thought maybe it was a one time thing but I got butterflies over her ugshsjwjdjsj *confusion*
Rachel Dion
Same I’m so confused 😩
@@annalise0330 maybe the both of you girls are Lesbian
same :(
Take sometime and think about it! You will know it just in time,I'm sure you will.
sara. Thank you❤️
“What if I’m straight but I’m just going crazy” I love that 😂😂 but this video was very very helpful so thank you! 💙 your videos are amazing !
I’m not even joking when I tell you that it took me watching Blue is the warmest color to realize that I wasn’t straight, and then I’ve just been spiraling from that point. There needs to be more lgbtq+ representations in our media & Hollywood imo.
This helped so much, I thought I was just going crazy and I thought that I was "trying" to like girls for attention. I have been thinking about it for about 6 months now and by watching your video it helped me realise that it is normal to think these things. Thank you for the video, really helped 😁
I got alot of hate at school when I came out I put up with it for ages until I realised that it doesn't matter what others think if I'm happy that's all that matters
About the whole "thinking someone is attractive vs being attractive to that person," I may try to explain this with a cake analogy (though it doesn't necessarily have to be cake). I could see a very well-made looking and well-decorated red velvet cake and think "Oh wow, someone who enjoys or prefers red velvet cake would probably really enjoy this." Meanwhile, that doesn't mean I will necessarily enjoy that same cake myself as I happen to be someone who doesn't care for red velvet cake in my own personal taste, and much prefers chocolate cake instead.
John Walker this is the PERFECT explanation!! thank you so much!
@@heatherwotherspoon7313
Sure thing, you're welcome!
you help so many people with your videos. your videos are the something i always come back to when i want to feel comfortable being myself. thank you for making videos!
Thank you so much for this video, for many months I have been struggling with my sexuality. I'm still unsure but I won't label it as all that matters is that whoever I end up dating as long as I am happy & they treat me right then that is what matters. Whether if it is with a girl or a boy as long as I am happy that is what is important to me at the moment. Thank you for this & I will refer to this to help me guide me if I'm ever confused & send this to anyone who may be confused and needs advice xx
When I came out at 14 a lot of people told me that I was too young to know and that it was just a phase. I figured out my sexuality when I was 12 after like six months of questioning. It has been nearly 8 years since I found out my sexuality and I am proud of who I am. Nothing will every stop me from being gay, and I love that about myself. Me being gay is not all of me it is a part of me. It gets better I was depressed for a long time even after I came out because I was scared of what other people would thing as I am a stud lesbian. It also doesn't really help that I am African American. I now have had a girlfriend for two years and I love her to death and plan on marrying her and having kids. I am not ashamed to be gay, I love that about myself. You are loved and valid and it is never too soon or too late to now who you are and to accept that person. Thank you for reading this, I hope you have a great day and just know that I accept you and support you and that you are loved
Thank you for this video, I'm in this stage of trying to reflect on my sexuality and what that even means. I really appreciate all your advice and insight into how you figured out yours, especially about how you said who you daydreamed about and who you thought you'd enjoy being with more. The only thing with that is I never know if my internalised homophobia is stopping me from ever imagining myself with a girl, but maybe I'm just overthinking it and stressing myself out haha. Also thank you for the reminder at the end that it's okay to be confused and that we don't have to label ourselves or be certain of it.
I am so frustrated because for the longest time I considered myself just a really emotional ally and that I was allowed to "look" at the LGBTQIA+ community, but not "touch" and now I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm gay and I'm so happy to hear that I'm not the only one who has a ton of doubts and "what ifs" and feel like I'm faking it. I'm not. I've had multiple relationships with men and I've always broken things off before they got sexual because I couldn't do it, but I never opened my mind to the high likelihood that I'm gay because I always justified Heterosexuality. I'm still very confused and figuring myself out, but I'm in therapy and I'm getting there
I'm curently Pansexual and in a LDR with the most amazing guy ever! Yeah the distance is probably huge(I'm from Europe and he is from the USA),I've always felt like I was a lesbian and I was saying I was a lesbian on Aminos,because I simply never felt attracted to boys,but when I met my now boyfriend I felt so confused,I was all mixed up and just going nuts. Soonly I wanted to label myself as Bisexual,but that didn't really stick with me,so I realised I may be Pansexual! And thats where I am now. If you are reading this Heather,I adore your channel,you and Aliah meeting made me have hope that I will soon get enough money to go and visit my boyfriend! Thanks for giving me hope! 💞💖
I'm 13 and trying to figure out my sexuality... At first I was just like "Maybe I'm bi" but I think I'm lesbian now! It's confusing as hell. I know my parents won't care but I probably won't come out for awhile just to be 100% clear. Thanks for making this video!
Okay.. that was 80% of my story.💖😙😁 U are really awesome
its easy to say "just take it slow, labels don't matter" when you're single. If you're in a relationship and questioning on the other hand.. oh god
same here
Not sure how everything has gone on your journey, but if your partner is worth your time then just be honest about how you're feeling.
Wooow all of your points resonated with me and you so intelligently and elliquintly described the process. It's been so hard to conceptualize and put into words for me. I assumed I was straight for so long. I'm 27 years old and feel like a teenage boy experiencing their sexuality for the first time. It can be pretty awkward but also veeerrrry exciting. I feel so shy around girls still. It's been one of the most confusing parts about myself that is unfolding slowly. I finally stopped compulsively dating men so I can practice being more open to attraction to women. To stop judging myself for it and feeling like it is "evil" bc that is my catholic conditioning speaking. So much guilt around it that I am trying to shed. So anyhow the "assignment" was going to a girls, gays, and theys party. And I had the most interesting experience. I'm actually thinking I should make a logo about it so I'm gonna do that rn to continue this story and dialogue around the topic. Check it out if you related to this video ^
thank you for this video, it helped me a lot 😔💗
I love you saying not to stress. I pushed myself into societal boxes of normalcy to the point of married to a man with a child and completely messed up with my self identity. Been struggling for almost a year. Thank you for your video!!
I think I’m gay but I don’t know... I’ve never liked any guys in my whole life and I’ve liked a bunch of girls... but like.. do I really like them or do I think I like them? It’s so confusing D:
I think you are Lesbian
Alberto Aguiar I do too but like idkkk
officiallyno ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ i totally get second guessing yourself but by the sounds of it, you like girls. just identify yourself in a way that fits the best for you and try not to let how you’ve been taught to act interfere with that.
Heather Wotherspoon thank you! ❤️
@@souliewrld i came out as lesbain to my family they support me but my dad isnt support lgbt my mum make him read lgbt online why she told him that ?.
I just wanted to say i am very happy you have made me think alot about my self more but it hard to be as i want sometimes when others my judge me so i will say i am very thankful for the videos
I went though my confused state..it takes time. There is nothing the matter with being gay....my College years things come together with my fiance.
She was my first love we defiantly went thru alot because we toke things fast. As I look back was it worth it no because Adi can't take back the homophobia that she got neither can I. She has PTSD from that. You can date on the down low...
okay but this video helped me A LOT, thank u
You're so adorable🤧😍
Love your sunflower motif! It is so pretty! 🌻🌻
I'm subbing because Heather here is really cute.
I think that searching on youtube about how people figure out they are gay is a pretty good indication that one is trying to figure themselves out if they might be gay. That's how it is with me anyway.
Thank you so much for this video. You just described me, so I guess the answer is really out there and I just do not want to face it.
I’m so confused, I’m not sure if I’m gay or straight. It’s a lot.
i cant rlly see myself being in a relationship with a guy but im like WHYYYYYY like whyyyy does the thought seem so uncomfortable to me?????? i rlly can see myself with a woman though. BUT WHYYYYYYYY
My teenage years have been nothing but confusing but life is about experience and it'll take time. I'm turning 17 tomorrow and I can proudly say that I'm a lesbian thanks to some things I can resonate with in this video alongside other things. I fell in love with my best friend when I was 11 and I would get fascinated by sapphic media in middle school. I would always look at the girls a lot more than the guys.
However, complusive hetereosexuality is a bitch. I thought finding a guy attractive meant that I was attracted to him or that I should be interested in a guy that's interested in me. I remember how often I would feel disgusted whenever a guy that I found attractive actually liked me "back". Heck, I even chose which guys would be crush instead of letting it happen to feel normal in my friend group. I forced myself into relationships with men and would end them in a week because I was so uncomfortable. I gaslighted myself into thinking that it was because I wasn't ready for a relationship and that my attraction to guys will grow once I mature.
I assumed everyone thought that women were naturally a lot more attractive than men and that some of my feelings towards girls was just admiration. However, I still recognized my attraction towards women and identified as bi for a few years. The best relationship I've been in was with my ex-girlfriend during freshman and sophomore year. My attraction felt genuine and even if we've gone our seperate ways, it was still a bittersweet relationship.
I acknowledged the fact that I might have been a lesbian during the summer in between freshman and sophomore year. However, I was still in denial due to finding some guys attractive and having crushes on fictional men. Once I broke up with my girlfriend, one of my male friends asked me out and since he was somewhat attractive and had the same interest, I decided to give it a shot.
I would always feel uncomfortable and would force myself to do romantic stuff with him. I preferred just talking more about casual topics rather than acting lovey dovey toward him. I hate to admit it but I felt nothing towards his poetry or songs about me. I noticed that I was a lot happier with my girlfriend. I felt really bad about the entire situation and would fantasize about escaping the relationship but I knew I was his first love and he was happy to be with me so I stayed for 4 months in order to satisfy him. I despised having sex with him to the point where I would have to close my eyes or tell myself that it's going to be over soon. I didn't want to straight up tell him that I wasn't attracted to him so I did something shameful and used my mental health as an excuse to get out.
After the relationship, I started to notice how much more genuine my crushes on women were compared to my "guy crushes", how all of my sexual fantasies involved women and how I got a hundred times butterflies when having a romantic experience with a woman. All women are so much better to look at. I could barely imagine my future with a guy. I just noticed that I felt happier and more like myself when I would daydream and talk romantically about girls. It took me a while to accept myself but looking back at everything, I can for sure say that I'm a lesbian and proud
I THOUGHT I WAS BI BC IVE HAD A GUY CRUSH BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT MY GUY CRUSH HAD LONG HAIR AND LOOKED LIKE A GIRL JEJENSIAOJA
you have that strong personality.. watching all your content. 🙂
Hi,
I am the same - but I am a guy.
I have been coming onto RUclips - and I see a lot of women talking about their self-discovery - but what is lacking is gay men's self-discovery of their sexuality, which would be good to hear (for me).
You really help me, when i watch it i fell like you read my mind and answering many of my questions thank you soooo much 😘💕
Honestly I feel the same way you feel about the difference between being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive. But for me it’s reversed. I am able to acknowledge that girls are beautiful and attractive. But when I look at my future and think on who I see myself with and who will be the person I am kissing and put a ring on, at the day I don’t see that person being a girl. I see a man and that is the way I see my future.
Thank you, I was stupid and came out at 10 as bi, and now I believe i’m lesbian, I never think sexually or romantically about guys, only females. And I don’t know how to tell my parents bc I’ve came out as bi to them, and they say i’m too young to know. I only have my friends and my girlfriend to talk to.
I’ve always known I was into girls and just considered myself bi. I’m now realizing that guys were interested in me and I just went along with it and always felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want to talk about how I had a boyfriend , and always fantasized about being in a relationship with a girl. I put a lot of weight on the fact that me and my boyfriend had been together for so long and he loved me a lot so I figured I was good. But then I realized I only saw him as a friend, and only looked at girls. I have no attraction to guys. It’s all starting to make sense. I feel not “valid” in a way because I dated him for 5 years, but realize it was only as a friend on my side
I’m 22 btw
I’ve never been in love with a man, when I imagine myself with a girl it makes me so happy and I would want to tell the world that she was my girlfriend. I can’t wait to fall in love
i think i might be bi curious but in denial bc my parents wouldn’t accept me. but i’m rlly confused.
DanTDM Fangirl 05 that could definitely make things more confusing. i’m sorry to hear that your parents are unaccepting, i can’t even imagine how hard that must be. try to lean on your friends/other people who will support you and lift you up. sending my love!
Heather Wotherspoon thank you so much !
You look really pretty.and a lil bit like Sabrina Carpenter
Thnx so much Heather
This was a really helpful reference
I sometimes feel like I'm gay because I like girls more than boys but I also like boys but NOT more than girls
I'm so confused 😥💁
bilsstolen avocadoes that means you’re probably bi (bisexual) meaning you like girls and boys.
@@raylol4291 yeah but she said that she likes girls more
Alberto Aguiar you can have a preference, im bisexual and have a preference to girls, bit i still like guys. it doesnt matter if she has a preference
Yeah so I think I'm bisexual
@@lameessee7462 I am not gay but I support y'all 100% I know I'm a guy but if I was a girl I will like girls more because girls are way better but if y'all want to be bisexual that's your girls business
i feel like i am only attracted to girls, but i am still in a relationship with a boy with whom i‘ve been physical. i feel like i dont have real feelings for him and i can only imagine my future with a girl. could this be comphet? or am i just bi? i am so confused...
I don't know if this is helpful or compete inappropriate bit there is a master doc about that...I dont now if you read it already I just know it helped me a lot
Whoa how quick 😁lol love u
I think I accidentally deleted something I am so sorry my phone is in French for me to learn but there are problems
I had many boyfriends but only because I want my family feal happy. But my family dount know that I wasn't happy. But now I feal great, because I do and love what I wanted 😊❤️
BAHAHA I had a 7th grade "boyfriend" too for a year and the one time he asked me to kiss I ran away and broke up with him a week later xD
Thank you for this video 🙂
newww videoooo yassss 💗💗💗
I like your eyes your eyes are very beautiful
I know this is gonna sound very gay haha but basically I’ve been questioning my sexuality for 5 ish years now, I actually almost came out to my mom in 2019 but chickened out. I feel like I gaslight myself into thinking that idk what I’m talking about and I’ve never kissed a guy or a girl but had huge crushes on both. I feel like it’s eating me up inside and it keeps following me, I thought it would go away but it’s been years..
8:45 HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH I REMEMBER
As a 62yo guy, listening to you, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian!
I had Jeans day at school and every girl cuffed their jeans 😂
I'm glad your coming out went so well. What area of the country are you from. It seems people in some states are more accepting than others.
I think this helped Thankyou girl
Well I didn't find find the opposite sex attraction that's how I knew lol
❤💞Keep on making great videos, your the best and beautiful💞❤
I grew into being gay when I was a toddler it was male and then middle school it all changed it became female.
Awesome video love watching your videos happy pride to you and your girlfriend
God still loves you
🥺 love you
good video as usual
I sent you a message on Instagram after watching this :)
i thought i was gay for a while but then my then crush came out to me as trans and i still liked him.. we dated for a year so i assumed i was bi during that time even though i was not attracted to any other boy except him... but now we have broken up and i still don't find any other boy attractive and i'm just like ?!?! what does this mean?
You are so pretty
I Knew i was Gay because I Had a crush on this guy don't get me wrong I do have Female friends too I just wasn't interested in women I dress into women's shorty shorts i do my finger nails and toe nails in color polish its Just i have an attraction to men and i do have a attraction to Black men .
Put some light on you! u awesome 😊
love uuu
I liked a boy once and now I actually feel more attracted to girls.
Is that okay?
Can I then identify as lesbian?
have you tried the am I a lesbian master doc? it might help (:
wahoooo
For me I like this guy but I don’t think it’s going to work out and he’s the only guy I would want to be friends with because waht if it didn’t workout between us? Like he doesn’t even like me romantically only sexually.. and even tho he wants to pop a little one of us in me he seems like he’s just playing me
Yasss
my fav thing
lesbians who don’t look like ur average lesbian haha 😌🍒
❤️❤️
Love from a gay mexican jew. This was me i thought i was bisexual for a long time cuz i found woman attractive and confused that also with being sexually attracted. 🩷 Great Video!
Can you be born lesbian or gay cause I’m not attracted to guys,I never been
I think so, depends on the situation of their life style and encounters...Meow
Billie’s Missing Avocado in my opinion, yes. i didn’t just wake up one day and choose to be a lesbian. this has just always been who i am.
How do I no I am gay
Literally this is so stupid I’ve had crushes on both guys and girls so WHYYY is my brain telling me “no you’re lying to your boyfriend what if you’re gay” aaaaah no
Like girl. You’ve cried about your boy crushes before they weren’t fake 😭
Ocd girl
according to my experience, in the past I have also experienced desires or feelings that can be classified as homosexuality, but fortunately God saved me immediately and told me what was right before I fell into a deeper sin. After many experiences I've had with God, what I can briefly conclude is that God wants us to know ourselves more deeply by knowing God. That means, what does God/Bible say about our hearts, our feelings and our thoughts. For example, the Lord showed me the book of Jeremiah 17:9 where in the verse it says that the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. According to the Dictionary, "deceitful" means "untruthful, good at deceiving, cheating and misleading others. From there, we can know ourselves more deeply about what God says about our hearts before we follow what our hearts/feelings say. When God took me to get to know him more deeply, I'm able to know my true identity. I am a Child of God and that is my true identity. My identity doesn't come from what I feel, what I went through and what I do, but my identity is what God says about me. I am very grateful that I have been saved by God and have been used to be a blessing to many people. I hope from my testimony, you can be enlightened and know the truth.
As a 62yo guy, listening to you, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian!