For some reason, certain comments aren't showing up publicly - not sure if this is because of my settings, but I changed them to allow all comments (lord help me probably). BUT someone just commented as a femme lesbian that being a tomboy isn't a sign of not being straight. TOTALLY!!! This was just my experience, and for me, looking back...my adamant desire to differentiate myself from gender norms felt connected to my inner knowing that I wasn't heteronormative and didn't want to follow expectations. As I say in the video, it's not *directly* connected to sexuality - just something I think about now. I dress femme too (look at my profile photo lol) and don't think that being femme means you're straight in any capacity! Wanted to clear that up. It's complicated, you know? And everyone's experience is different. Okay - carry on! Also - thanks for all the views. Would appreciate you checking out some of my other videos if you get a chance 💗💜💙💫 xoxo
I heard a little different version of it for many times and got really frustrated "If You were a guy I'd date with you" It gave me hope and desperation at the same time T^T
I'm 31. I thought I was straight until the pandemic forced me to stay at home and gave me the chance to spend time thinking about myself and my mental health. Accepting my sexuality has been the most liberating experience of my life. 2020 was a good year for me because I came out as bisexual :D
Wow - I'm so happy for you!!! Congratulations on coming out and for having the time to accept all parts of yourself. That is so wonderful!!! I totally know what you mean about that liberating feeling. Sending you love and light!!
As a 19 years old bi girl, I'm so proud of you guys🤗 When I go to University, I'd like to date a girl too. 😇 I hope it happens, but my internalised homophobia is really hard to get over😫
@@MonkeyDLuffy-rr3wl oh yeah - that internalized homophobia 😳 - well you’re way ahead of me and know you’re bi so I think you can do it!!!! Rooting for you 💜🤗
Childhood signs I was bisexual: "If it wasn't shamed in my religion, I think I would be capable of liking anyone as long as they were cool. I'm straight though." *......* (26 years later) Oh.
When I was younger I always thought girls were cute, and I had thought that it was just normal, I had crushes on guys, and so I was like, I like guys I'm straight, and when a friend came out as bi, I was like "wait that's a thing?" and I had a crush on a girl in my class, and so like, I was like "I'm not bisexual. Am I?" Yeah that's how I found out I was bisexual.
I really relate to the not realizing being bi was an option bit. I have uncles who are gay, so I was vaguely aware that at least one other sexuality existed, but I knew I liked guys (I'm female), so I just kind of assumed I was straight. It took a friend coming out as bi in middle school for me as well to start putting the puzzle pieces together.
@@Sophia-zk5kz absolutely. I don’t think I knew it was an option really until I was a full grown adult. 😳 but I guess better late than never to fully accept yourself right?! Though of course it’s an ongoing process...
@@jennicahill omg same! Actually the first person that asked me it was my current Bf. And I was like “wait what? Am I?” And form then onwards everything started to click lol
I'm a very straight girl, but I do relate to the forcing crushes on boys part. I remember looking at my male classmates, and picking the best looking and deciding he would be my crush. If a guy said he liked me I'd think "guess I like him back". I even had a boyfriend when I was like 8, and honestly I don't remember even noticing him before he liked me, and I broke up with him because I felt too young to date but I lied to everyone who asked why by saying I was jealous of other girls he was friends with. I even remember looking at random guys and praying I'd have crushes on them, and lying to everyone else about it. It's funny how people can force things like this, in a sad way. I still ended up exclusively into guys in the end, however.
I think it’s so much about what we think we’re supposed to do! I totally relate to this and had a “boyfriend” in third grade that I just tolerated lol. I couldn’t tell all the stories in the video bc it would have been even longer 😂😂
It's about misogyny. Everyone around me was talking about how cute a certain celebrity was. My parents would tease me about boys I paid absolutely no attention to. They determine our worth by who's attracted to us. I'm a bi girl but there are parallels in our experience because we are women.
My mom dressed me in a pink flannel and cuffed jeans for my first picture day in Kindergarten where they made me sit on a chair backwards and now she's confused why I'm bi?? No but fr I think other signs were there too xD
Just yesterday i saw a kid in a store picking a unicorn bag from my little pony, and their grandparent said "No, this is for girls, you cant like it, you are a man". It just shock me so much, is surreal to me that a majority of people outside my bubble still pointlessly gender things. And blantantly say "you CANT like this"
I... relate way too much. I was also such a “tomboy” as a kid but was also raised in a super conservative, evangelical world, so I never even entertained ideas about not being straight. Now I’m finding myself somewhere between bi, lesbian, and pansexual... still have more searching to do but I appreciate having this internet solidarity 🤗
Solidarity!! Yes! Whew yeah - it must be hard to unpack all of that learning you did growing up. I know it has been for me still. And it is constantly evolving. Wishing you all the best in your journey - no rush to figure it all out! Here in solidarity for sure. Thank you for watching 💜
I was in a super conservative baptist family, so I totally understand. I always questioned my sexuality but convinced myself I was straight until I did more digging and found I was bisexual. I'm so happy that you've discovered more about yourself and are accepting this part of you! 💖 You deserve to feel happy with all the parts of you that are naturally there and cannot change; to feel proud to be who you are.
@@BethanyHarbaugh thank you so much! That means a lot. I appreciate you sharing with me and watching the video. I hope everyone can accept who they are and live freely within that acceptance 💜💜
@@jennicahill an adult close to me while growing up told me: "why are you hanging out with this girl so much, why are you so obsessed with your friendship? be careful, people might think you are a lesbian" and I understand your struggle in such a deep level. with shoving that part of yourself down to the grave. thank you for this video. it is literal relief. I am 27 and for the past year alone have I accepted myself.
@@DanaePap_official thank you for sharing. That is so painful to hear! I’m so glad that you’ve been able to climb out of that and accept yourself. Better late than never I say!!! It’s a wonderful feeling (and such a process). 💜💜
When I was in 6th/7th grade, I slept over at my best friend's. When the room was dark and we lay in her bed I secretly wished we would cuddle and maybe even kiss. And it still took me many more years to realise and accept I'm bi!!! Just the denial, my God. I've always been supportive of LGBT people and so I always had some sort of impostor's syndrome, you know? I thought I'm just pretending to be bi to belong to those people and that I'm a bad person for inserting myself in a space. But looking back at all the signs, I'm quite certain that I am, in fact, bisexual. (Really sorry for the rant)
No apologies necessary- I have felt the same way. Especially the imposter syndrome and worrying about inserting myself into a space. But you belong and so do I!!!! Thank you for sharing 💜
When I was a child, I thought that having a crush on a boy felt different than having a crush on a girl, because I would always get this envious longing feeling around a boy I thought was cool or talented. And I thought that I liked them. Turns out, I wanted to BE them. But with girls, I would get jittery and didn’t know how to talk to them without being weird. And they couldn’t understand why I acted like a stupid boy around them. Wasn’t until I was about ten that I heard the term bisexual and realized I have a leg up with both sexes. But suppressed bisexuality is no joke, man. 😆
It's the opposite for me! I always got all nervous and dumb talking with boys. With girls, I always assumed that my crushes weren't crushes, I just admired girls and wanted to be like them, and be around them more. Dating wasn't an option in my mind: the first time I even heard the word "busexual" was when I was 13. And I guess I don't get as nervous around girls because of our heteronormative society: I can tell girl crushes exactly what I think of them, that they're amazing, beautiful, and inspiring, and they'll just be like aw thanks sis, you too :P It's a blessing and a curse
@@andynonymous6769 are u bisexual? rn i am actually in the process of realisation coz there have been girls whom i would admire and want to be like them...then tell myself i am jst straight i jst want to be like them i dont like them
I've found out I'm bi when I fell in love with a girl. I remember thinking I just appreciate the beauty of the world and girls are very beautiful until then. I genuinely loved this girl, I've met her on Tumblr and didn't knew her gender when I developed a crush on her personality, then I've found out she's a girl, I was still into her and when I saw her picture, oh dear... and I just accepted it as it is with not much confusion, no denial or shock.
In high school grade one, I had this Internet bestfriend. She said to me that she might be going abroad and I full on wrote paragraphs of love messages to her and cried really bad because she was going to be more far away from me than she already was. Then my family caught me and asked if she was my girlfriend and I got so offended by that question that I've stopped talking to her all together. Now I'm out to myself as a bisexual woman and it's a liberating feeling.
That must have felt so intense and hard! It’s also scary when someone comes at you with that kind of thing before you’re ready to share it. I’m so glad that you’ve been able to come out to yourself and feel liberated by that. It really is such an amazing feeling! Thank you for sharing 💜
Ok but one sign i was bisexual that I realize now if that i always liked feminine guys and never actually masculine guys. Later i realized that the way I feel about having a celebrity crush on a guy wasnt much different than how I'd feel about a female celebrity I liked. And as a preteen I was constantly asked if I was gay bcuz i was tomboyish, I never fitted in with girls and guys, and I would constantly try stroke a girl's hair in class. I didn't notice anything could mean anything else. There's obviously more, but I don't wanna write an essay. Hope this helps someone too.
Thank you for sharing! Feel free to write an essay if you want!! Lol. That’s interesting about the feminine guys. I’ve also been more attracted to people in general who are in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides.
@@danaabelle Same here! I always felt I had masculinity in me, and I admired the looks of some girls in class. I figured out I might be biromantic, and everything clicked into place.
The fact that I was attracted to both the male and female protagonists of so many shows I watched as a kid should have given me a clue that I'm bi. Phil of the Future for example. Both the main characters were cute.
I was never big on celebrity crushes, so my subconscious signs took a different form, especially in college. I avoided planned 1 on 1 interactions with male friends like the plague. It didn't matter if it was dining in at a fast food place, or going to a retreat for a weekend. And it didn't matter that we were close friends. It still gave me a weird anxiety that I only now recognize as my brain saying, "YO, this feels like a DATE!"
Thank you for putting this video out. My daughter is 12 1/2 and told me recently she likes girls. The fire time she told me that was when she was 10. She has all these signs you’re stating. I specially the part about not liking or being attracted to boys. My 15 year old daughter is total opposite and as a mom I’ve just always seen the signs.
tonight i watched this and realized that even though i've considered myself "out" for forever, i've actually been keeping it a secret and been unwilling to admit how much internalized homophobia i actually have. so 20 minutes after watching this i came out to my dad and grandma jakfjdsklajfskdj it went great! thank you so much for the push to accept myself and share myself. your vulnerability really made a difference for me today
My heart just exploded. I am so happy for you!!! It's so interesting - I had a similar experience when I realized I had "come out" but hadn't really been open about it to my family. Thank you so much for sharing!! This is the goal - to help each other - and each comment helps me in turn. What great great news!!!!!
I grew up in the 80s and 90s and much of what you said is relatable. My family was religious and forced me to wear dresses. I actually tried to compromise and tried to ask for blue. Nope. Had to be pink. Amongst other things that made me feel that I could not "feel outside the box", I just felt like there was something wrong with me and couldn't understand my actual feelings. Then, I had a friend that talked about gay people. I was intrigued by it. My mother actually asked me at age 11 (me not her, lol) if I was attracted to girls. I was so afraid to say yes that I denied it. It took me years to figure out, much like you that I am just attracted to who I was. Man or woman, it didn't matter. I am now 41 and happily in a relationship for going on 14 years. It was hard, harder than I could explain, but I relate so much to this video. Thank You for it.
Ugh, i love all these "its ok to be bi" videos. It genuinely helps to have it now but good lord this would have been awesome 20 years ago. Im glad the younger crowd is much more accepting.
It took a long time to come to terms with my biromantic feelings because I’m also ace. I didn’t have that ‘infatuation’ with celebrities or anything like that. I just kinda ignored how I wanted to kiss my girl best friend. (For reference I was a teen in the 2010s)
As a child I wanted to marry my female best friend, because I loved her so much more than I could ever love a boy. I also had huge crushes on female actresses. I was obsessed with them for month and hang up pictures of them, in the same behaviour, other girls would do with boys. And it still took me almost 17 years to find out, that I am a lesbian. Now with 19 years, there are still moments, when I remember situations in which I acted obviously gay, but didn't realize, that they were. I was for example OBSESSED with the music video of "Can't remember to forget you" because I liked the song. Sure Katie, then why do you watch the clip and don't just listen to it?
If only we had the option to just be attracted to whoever we were attracted to from a young age! Maybe then it wouldn’t take so long 🤦🏻♀️ I had obsessions with female musicians even in college and didn’t put two and two together! Thank you for sharing!
I'm a lesbian, but when I was a child, i wanted to marry elmo from sesame street 😅. I had an elmo plushie i brought everywhere and 3 other elmo plushies sitting at home. I don't think i ever had a crush on elmo though, i think i just saw elmo as my bestest friend, so it made sense to marry your bestest friend.
@@phadenswandemil4345 You are right. I actually never had a crush on my kindergarden friend, but all the other girls didn't have real crushes on their male best friends either and still dreamed of marrying then or another boy one day.
I relate to the part of the music video but in the opposite side lol I always felt kind of uncomfortable when looking at things that had beautiful and sexy women in it and I never knew why, now I'm questioning my sexuality (80% sure I'm bi) and maybe I know the reason know...
For me I think I knew since I was like 13 but I only admitted it and accepted it during quarantine. The advice people always give on the internet is "ask yourself, how would you identify if nobody was around to judge you." I mean I knew I wouldn't identify as straight but I was always too scared that I, I don't know, wasn't bi enough. But then I didn't see anybody for like 6 months and boom, the only person judging my level of gayness is me and I deem myself bi.
I’m almost 22 now, and I’ve known I was lesbian for about 8 yrs but I’ve only come out to a few people. I really want to explore that side of myself because I still haven’t, I’ve been watching a lot of videos on the topic.
I haven't talked about my sexuality to anyone except my boyfriend, and I'm still hiding in the shadows. I don't feel "bi" enough because I haven't had a true sexual experience with a woman yet.
I was right there too, and I haven’t had an experience with a woman either. I talk about that in one of my videos, and that part can feel really invalidating but you are definitely bi enough. Sending you love 💖💜💙
@@jennicahill you're right, it does feel extremely invalidating because that's everyone's first question. And when we say no they're like "oh well then you don't KNOW". But to hear another bi person say that helps a lot. Thank you.
Same. And I have kids and one of them is asexual right now. But I feel like my mom has always known and my older sister that I was into girls and am secretly bi 😬 but I grew up in a strict religious household… I told my partner from the beginning that I am I to women and if I ever cheated on him it would be with a woman because I have not explored that yet and the 🔥is there. 😬
I‘m a guy, but your experience is so incredibly similar to mine, it‘s scary. I remember so many instances where I would feel these crazy strong feelings towards my best male friend and just think, that was the way everybody felt xD I mean BOI I literally read dozens of gay fanfiction but was still convinced I was totally straight. Compulsorary heterosexuality is terrible and I know so many bisexual people who did not understand their own sexuality well into their 20s (like myself).
Totally! Thanks for being here. No matter your gender, I do think it’s just hard to figure out being bi, especially if it wasn’t discussed growing up!!
The thing that really helped me out most when I was questioning was when someone reminded me of two things: 1. you don't need to have acted on your same sex attraction to be bi. If you have the feelings, you're bi. Period. 2. You don't need to measure "what percentage gay am I?" Sexuality really is a spectrum, and there's no specific threshold of gayness you need to pass to qualify as bisexual. Hope that helps! Good luck
@@catt021 I actually made a video about your first point, and I think it's so important! ruclips.net/video/ue416_BhSKI/видео.html Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the group!
I grew up in a very homophobic family going to a very fundemental church. I only came out of the church almost 4 years ago. I am just now discovering I'm bi and basically married also. Your videos are so helpful for me since our situations are so similar! 🥰
@@RatsPicklesandMusic That must be really hard to reckon with, especially after hearing in church and around your family that what was so natural to you was "wrong" for so long. I didn't grow up in a heavily religious household, so I can only imagine how much more I would have stuffed my sexuality if I was dealing with that dynamic too. Thank you for sharing - it's helpful for me to hear stories of people who relate to me too! Having community helps me feel less alone too, and every time someone says "I relate" I breathe a sigh of relief.
i’m a zoomer and while i’m blessed that i could come out when i was in middle school, i still had to deal with the internalized biphobia in elementary. i grew up in a very conservative baptist town where if you didn’t meet the status quo, you were the oddball. i very much related to the signs and honestly, i’m glad i’m not the only one who went through those signs. to everyone who hasn’t come out yet, you’re loved and valid.
Me in kindergarten: secretly obsessed with girly things and beautiful princesses, beautiful girls in general *Watch my first Disney princess movie* Me: oh, so, I'm supposed to like boys. OK, i guess.... Me at 17, just realized I'm bi: damn it...
U kno, I had this "best friend" with whom I would do EVERYTHING, but hurt me when she was talking about boys and didn't react to my comments like 'if that doesn't work out, we always can be gay' BEST FRIEND, SURE Now that I know I fell like I used her, since unconsciously knew that I loved her
You did the best you could with the information and maturity you had! You even said unconsciously, so doesn’t seem like you were using her, but I totally get how you might feel that way now. 💜 be good to yourself friend
Your timeline of events sounds remarkably like mine. When I was 14, I suddenly realized that I could also be attracted to men as well as women (based on seeing a male public figure on TV), reacted with fear, shame and obsession, then at 28 went through a personal revolution to become comfortable with being bisexual. That was the late 1980s, and I found that I fit into no group at all. Although my city was and is pretty LGBT-friendly, it seems everybody here thought bi necessarily meant polyamorous, or 3-ways, or just self-indulgent. Heterosexual women were scared by poor journalism of the '80s that claimed bi men were the key spreader of AIDS. I was very lonely. I appreciate sources such as your channel showing bisexual in human, individual terms. Kate Brown's election as Oregon governor also helped dispel a totally uncalled for stigma.
Wow that does sound so similar to my timeline. Thank you for sharing your story. I didn’t know that about bi men and the rumor around AIDS. I’m so glad you had your personal revolution!! And I am constantly surprised by the lack of bi representation, so let’s keep sharing.
Im so late to this but thank you so much for this, i recently came out as not straight but im constantly questioning my sexuality and its so confusing, i relate to literally all of this looking back on my childhood, thank you so so much
Thank you so much for watching and sharing your feelings/thoughts. It IS so confusing. I guess all we can do is be patient with ourselves and let it be as fluid as it needs to be. Sending you lots of love! 💜
I grew up in a small town and went to a private Catholic school and I would say I was a little tomboyish too. I also grew up not knowing about LBGTQ so when I heard of it, I realized that I was bisexual.
I had a best friend in middle school that stopped hanging out with me when she got a boyfriend, and I was so hurt because we did everything together. I did not have the words to even express it so we just stopped being friends. Then in ninth grade, I had private beef (only in my head lol) with this couple (girl/guy) and I always wrote about them in my diary. I was weirdly jealous of the both of them. It took me until college to figure out that I was bi.
Those in your head beefs are SO REAL! lol. I'm so glad that you've figured it out now, but all that childhood stuff definitely causes real pain, and it's hard to process until you realize what was going on for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
oh man, i am from a different generation! when i was really young i didn’t know the term bisexual but i knew i was really into both han solo and princess leia. i kinda thought everyone was into both boys and girls but only dated the opposite sex because the expectation was to get married and reproduce. this was the deep rural south in the early 80’s. we all chased and were chased by boys at school but at home my girlie friends and i watched madonna videos on repeat and practiced making out with each other. i never discussed it with my mum but she must have known something was up because by the time i hit high school in the early 90’s we had to sleep in the living room anytime i had friends spend the night.
Love this video! I’m heteroromantic and bisexual - though I didn’t realize this fully until this year. There were many, many different signs from my childhood that have popped into my mind now that I have finally figured out exactly where on the many spectrums my sexuality lies. I’ve come to realize that I have always been attracted to women, and thinking through past experiences brings that to light. There were so many things in this video I relate to, thanks for making it!
I relate to this so much! I’m 31 & still not comfortable coming out fully yet. Some people know, but not very many. Hoping to be able to come out fully one day. 🏳️🌈
When I look back at my childhood, it was really funny that how couldn't nobody noticed I wasn't straight, even myself. I guess it's bc of raising in a strict family:')
Yeah - I wonder if some people just don't even allow it to be an option in their minds, you know? Because it is something they are too afraid of or don't even think about since it's not the "norm" to them. I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner either!
@@jennicahill I agree with you! Like you've said it wasn't even an option for me too! I remember when I've first realized, I was 11, I went to my mom and literally ask about is it normal or not. And of course my very religious mom said I wasn't "like that" so I've believed her. After that for like 2 years, I was homophobic. Later I've became an ally but finally last year I accepted myself. Now I'm 19 and finally I feel like my true self, even I love myself. I hope everybody can find themselves too!
when I was around 12-13 I told my mom that I thought I was bi, while my mom is definitely not homophobic the first thing she said was "i don't think people can be bi" and that made me drop the subject and back track into being confused again. I'm almost 20 now and I'm still not sure if i am actually bi or i made it up because I know so many people who are in the lgbt community. I've always had an attraction to girls but whenever I try to actually date someone there's this awkward energy to it that makes everything feel forced, it's so confusing and hard to figure out but im not really in a rush.
All of that sounds hard. I'm sorry your mom said that. I do think so many people have that opinion, and of course it's not true! Of course you can be bi! Keep following your instincts. Even if you don't end up dating other girls, that doesn't mean you're not bi. It might mean you haven't found the right person or that you're attracted to females but not necessarily interested in having full on relationships with them. I'm glad you're not in a rush, and I wish you all the best as you discover all the magical things about you!
I appreciate YOUR honesty. I feel you on some of the shame still buried inside. I just discovered what “internalized homophobia” means. Blew my mind. It helped me to realize that I have lots more healing to do. I also grew up in a more religious environment and a different time. I FEEL you 💗💗💗 I absolutely adore your personality and video style! I think we would have been great friends as kids. I deeply resonate with your feelings, and the color pink ☺️ You and your inner child is a bad ass!! “Society was telling her one thing and her head was telling her another thing” 💯 💯 💯 This is such an inspiring and FUN video. Thank you for sharing your personal story and kid videos. Looks like we both had a crush on Kate Winslet 😄😂☺️
Thank you so much for watching and sharing!!! Internalized homophobia...yeah, wow. I think we would have been great friends as kids too! I appreciate you so much - thanks for the kind words and for connecting with me here. Means a lot. YOU and your inner child are a badass, friend!!!
I'm Bisexual and Asexual (I think) so idk how that works...but your video made a lot of sense to me, the denial and questions you had. Thanks for sharing!
I had the same experience, just that it was with Chris Hemsworth and Ryan Reynolds. I literally never understood why I was so turned on when they appeared in the movies. Watching Thor Ragnarok with my parents while looking un-aroused was one of the most difficult things to do lol. And then in 2019 I came across reddit and found out about being bi and finally understood what I was feeling was normal and was felt by a lot of people around the world. Honestly, the internet's helped me a lot in figuring out my sexuality and now that I've finally properly come to terms with it, I'm grateful for the internet. My parents definitely wouldn't mind if I was actually bi or gay or trans or anything, but living in India I'd been scared coz of the amount of negative reception from people for making the LGBTQ+ legal. I will come out to them, but until then I'll stick to slowly coming out to one friend after the other
I’m sure it’s a hard balance, but I’m so glad your parents are supportive!! The Internet certainly has some great advantages, and one of those is bringing people together to support each other. Thank you for sharing!! 💜💜
I remember I was more of a Rock and Roll type. But I was obsessed with Britney Spears. I remember telling my friend “I know it’s not my type of music but I’m just really into her videos.” So “creative”. lol. 😂😂😂. I didn’t understand it. 😂😂😂
VENT: I’ve always wanted to do what boys do, but I never acted on it, from what I remember. I always knew it was wrong, so it was probably a traumatic memory I don’t know of. I was always nervous to talk to guys because my mom kept pretending any guy I interacted with was my boyfriend. But still, I’ve never really hated being a girl, I’ve never liked it though, and I started getting dysphoric during puberty. I suffered with a lot of mental illness, and I felt incredibly disconnected with myself throughout childhood. I always had a certain role I played with each person, and I really played into female gender roles and being a girl. I never thought I was a guy, but I didn’t like being called a girl. Am I really trans?
@@AN-ou6qu I can’t tell you if you’re trans, but I hope you keep exploring and deep thinking to follow your intuition! I hear you about playing a certain role with each person. I used to do that and still do to some extent. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with trauma related to your identity. I wish you all the best as you continue to love yourself as you are - whatever that means for you 💜💜💜
My mom told me, when I was 4, that all kids wished they were a different gender. Took me decades to realize she was wrong. Toddler me knew who I was better than anyone else, even adult me. Kids know.
I'm 25 and only last year, thanks partially to quarantine, I found out I'm autistic and bi. First time I ever identified with the bi label I was 11. First time I was bullied and called a lesbian I was 10. Somehow I just locked it all in a vault and threw it away for very long.
Yeah. You may as well have been describing my childhood and teen years. I've been calling myself bi for a while but feeling like a fraud or faker, but this has cemented it for me really. Your confusion is comforting to my confusion ❤️
Listening to you and your journey makes me feel..calm.. and suprised, bc what you are saying in this video are exacly what I'm feeling and thinking (and very simillar childhood experience). I am engaged to a male and I discoverd pretty late aswell that i am Bi. And its really liberating to hear about other people who are in the same boat as me. Its nice :)
You should explore yourself first before getting married because you might find out later that you're something else. It's not fair to both parties in a marriage.
This is basically my exact experience. Down to all my friends having crushes on JTT and Hansen haha and me feeling like I was defective or something. Thanks for sharing this x
I relate SO MUCH! When I was a kid and "fucking Åmål" came out, I watched it and felt SO BAD. I was so scared I was lesbian because the movie taught me that if you are, you'll have a really hard time. So it scared me so much and I just tucked all that away. + just as you I had no idea what bisexual was, I had never heard about it. I just turned 30 and the months leading up to it I realized that, no, I'm not straight. The thing now is that I second guess it because I think I want a trait that makes me interesting. + really scared of what it may mean I guess. There is like this whole unexplored part of myself that I just pushed away. What else am I pushing away? Do I even know myself at all?! So this is what an identity crisis is like XD Thanks for sharing your story!
Oh my goodness yes to all of this. I haven’t seen that .. and now I want to. I feel like an identity crisis is much preferable to not knowing yourself so cheers to you!!! 🥂
I recently accepted I was Bi and this just explained so much to me. I'm a demi so I don't get lots of crushes and I never had any like celeb crushes but, I would constantly get all flustered around a lot of my guy friends and never understood why. I told myself I was completely straight just because I thought I had to be but, when I first heard about Bisexuality its like it all clicked together. I always felt like there was this lingering "thing" in the back of my head, so I sorta always knew I liked boys too I just never accepted it. But at 19 I feel pretty happy figuring it out and being confident with myself.
Congratulations on accepting yourself ⭐️ that is so huge, and it’s a lifelong journey .. but to be 19 and have that kind of self awareness? Good on you! Happy for you and thank you for sharing.
You have to realize that you are okay and you are not less of a man because you are bisexual it does not mean you are a bad guy you are a caring person who has feeling's for both sexes. I wish you well in your life journey.
I accepted that I was queer 10 months ago, and started feeling like the I am more bi than anything else two months ago. Now, I'm actively using it as how I speak about myself publicly. It's all been this slow unraveling of what I told myself I was for so dang long. Looking back I can see young me doing similar things as you. Eventually, it was like I'm tired of using the rebuttal to my attraction to women of "but I see myself with a man," and I felt so relieved and happy. I'm still learning, and it's really helpful to find people like you sharing your experience. I appreciate it💜
During my pre-teen years and even now, when I saw a women I liked in movies or tv shows, I wanted to dress like them. I didn’t realize that I had a crush on them, but now it’s so prominent😂 Claire from the TV show Heroes, Liesl from The Sound of Music, Laura Benanti from She Loves Me, and Renée Elise Goldsberry from Rent (just to name a few)😂 when I realized that I’m bi, I was watching Betsy Wolfe in Falsettos and she was singing her part in the song ‘something bad is happening’. The song was stuck in my head for the past few days, so I decided to watch it again on RUclips. And then I realized, “wait.... I have a big crush on Betsy Wolfe.............” Before I came out, I had a crush on a friend of mine (who’s also a girl) 3-4 years earlier, but I quickly dismissed it. But on that day, I took quizzes about sexuality, and felt like I wanted to kiss girls (up to this point I was a straight-ally, with going to DragCon, a Pride for Youth party, and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with my sister (who’s also bi). ) it just felt different than the other women I admired. Now, it’s been a little over 3 months since I came out to myself as bisexual, and fortunately, my friends and family have been very understanding and supportive😊 (and many of my friends are also bi or gay) Hope y’all enjoyed my story (:
I know I enjoyed your story!!! Thank you for sharing. I had the biggest crush on Cheryl Cole and would watch her videos on repeat and didn’t realize I didn’t just want to be like her lol. That was college! I’m so glad the folks in your life have been so supportive!!! 💜
Thank you. I can’t explain how much I needed to hear your story. It’s the first time I heard anyone accurately verbalize how I’ve felt my whole life. After listening to you describe yourself as a kid- especially when express how you put that part of yourself in a box and didn’t think about it later in life, I feel such a relief. I feel valid, and seen, and maybe even “enough.”
When I was a child I wanted to have a bedroom that "no one could tell if it was a boy's room or a girl's room." I think that was a pretty obvious sign that I had big bi energy.
Thank you so much for this video! Just recently realized I’m bisexual, and I’m still in the closet living with a very religious family in the bible belt. Some signs that made me realize were feeling this strong romantic tension with some of my female friends. Except I would totally project and think that the tension came from them liking me for some reason 🙃 Homophobia has been so deeply ingrained in me that I still don’t think I fully realize it.
Happy for you that you’ve been able to realize this about yourself, despite your circumstances right now. Sending you lots of love and healing as you continue your journey! 💖
The influence of growing up in very religious families can really mess people up. It's great that you're already realizing who you are. Some day, you won't be living with your family. It's going to be amazing!!
Okay so here are my signs (I seriously can’t tell if I’m bi or straight) -I’ve never crushed on a girl but I get obsessed with things easily so when I was younger there were a lot of girl celebrities and actresses who I would want to be like a lot. I would make them my wallpaper, listen to all their songs if they did music, and try to act like them so idk what that means -my friend who was a girl tried to kiss me at the pool but I pushed her away and told her I didn’t want to kiss a girl which I felt bad about because she looked hurt. Something in my head told me “why don’t u just try it even tho it feels weird” after that I forgot about it and never really thought about it. We were normal again too 😄 she was still acting kind of weird and touchy but I just ignored it. -my favorite colors when I was younger used to be pink, blue, purple because I thought they looked pretty together but also I thought colors were just colors like I didn’t even know that had a meaning 😭 -I’ve only crushed on guys, and I don’t get nervous around girls. I feel more emotionally connected to girls because I like being friends with them more, but I’m more attracted to guys overall -one time I saw two girls kissing but I only glanced at it for a second and then went on with my day, like it didn’t make me feel anything -one time a girl was staring at me and it felt weird. That’s all please help me 😭
I don’t think you need to put a label on your feelings if it’s not feeling right to you! There’s such a spectrum of attraction and sexuality, and some people identify as being sexually attracted to one gender while more romantically attracted to another. Also, you could just really value your female friendships! And I think it’s very normal to feel certain things toward anyone, regardless of gender. We’re all just living life! But if you want to keep exploring what identity feels right for you right now, I recommend journaling, therapy, talks with people you trust, etc. - check out my resources video! It takes time. No rush. And whatever you discover, you are valid!!! 💜🌟
I really appreciate you share your personal feelings and experience with the community, thank you for that! Since some time I have been questioning my own sexuality (25yrs o age) and I'm still confused 💃 But your video feels like it's guiding a way 🌈 Well life is a magical journey 🙂
Thank you for watching and for this comment of support Sarah! Life sure is a magical journey!!! Sometimes I still feel confused too. But the great news is, only you get to decide so you have all the time you need! Wishing you all the best on this journey 🌟🏳️🌈💜
Oh my - This is so relatable. I had a huge crush on my female teacher when I was in preschool (I had like fantasies about her and I wasn't able to talk to her because I would blush so much when I saw her because I liked her so much and thought she was so cute). I was so anxious because I didn't know what was happening (no girl in my class had that too). I was also only about 10 or 11 when that happened. 10:30 Exactly the same. I was so scared to not fit in. I also had an eating disorder back then so I remember I did feel that way about girls but I didn't want to feel it. I always thought bisexuality was not real, because everyone said you were either gay or lesbian. And also that were these type of people I really wasn't. Honestly happy to hear you're happy now:) thnx for sharing.
@@jennicahill I had a sort of sexual relationship with my best friend growing up, from like 5th grade to around middle school. We kissed and did other stuff together (not actual sex) and considered it "practice" for girls LOL. We both ended up getting lots of female attention in high school and remained best friends even though we stopped doing stuff together like that. I never knew if he became like me or not. It got to where I was fantasizing about him when I was with girls. I am 40 now and still have my boyish good looks LOL, but I really do see bisexuality as a beautiful thing and while it's stressful and emotional at times with feelings, it's definitely made me a happier and kinder person.
I didn't like being called a princess or gorgeous by my grandma, and would prefer having my hair brushed all nice. Also whenever my family would say things like "youll marry a man one day" or "what boys do you like? " i never liked those questions, they made me so uncomfortable and i would always be mad if they asked me that
I've been coming out as bi to some people since last year but recently I've been having a lot of second thoughts and my good old friend the impostor syndrome has been hitting me pretty hard. This video really helped me out, we had such a similar experience; my mouth was on the floor when u mentioned how all of your friends had celebrity boy crushes from the time while u were obsessed with female celebrities because I experienced the same at the hype of High School Musical, Twilight and Justin Bieber. I could only look at Sharpay and Alice and felt like there was something wrong with me 😂 Thank you so much for this wonderful video, I'm so happy i found your channel ❤️
I’m so glad this video could help you say goodbye to that darn imposter syndrome! Thank you for sharing - we are all in this together and can help each other stay true to our true selves 💜💜💜
I’m about to turn 21 and I’m just now starting to question my sexuality. Throughout my entire childhood I suppressed any sort of feelings I would have towards girls because I was scared of what that would mean. I thought that since I was still very much attracted to boys I would just ignore these other feelings, but now I’m starting to become comfortable with calling myself bi-curious ☺️
One of my first sexual thought as a kid was about a famous man at the time. I didn't question why I was thinking about men in such a way and it certainly never bothered me. I knew then without actually knowing it, I liked boys and girls. And I still do.
Wow, this is like a mirror of my experience. Growing up in the same age, society and the media generally frowning on these things, though my parents probably would have been accepting, kids in school being unaccepting, wanting to wear more feminine clothes but thinking it was not okay, and not figuring it all out till much later. Thank you for making this.
One of my favourite things is the "OMG I SO WANT TO BE THEM!" when in reality you have a crush on them... You know, when you're totally in love with this character or whatever, but you don't know of other sexualities other than straight yet, so you just think that you want to be like them. So many of my friends have a lot of characters they said that about. I just think it's the funniest thing.
I'm late to this party but I related to this so hard. I'm an elder Millenial so was a child in the 80s, teen in the 90's and I didn't know anything about bisexuality. We couldn't secretly Google it until way later. I didn't figure out what I was until I was 42, but I felt exactly as you did as a kid. I just supressed the shit out of it as I grew up in a religious home where it would have been unsafe. I also just didn't think my attraction for women was abnormal I think is ironically what made me not get it. When I understood others didn't really feel the same way it made sense. But my differences with straight women around some gender things like clothes and interests always made me feel not quite understood. You've really validated a lot for me. Thank you.
I grew up in a Baptist Christian home in the 90's, so we were very sheltered. I had a very similar childhood as you, although we were told that being gay was a sin. Growing up, I was very much the 'tomboy' as well. I also went through a phase around the age of 10-25 that I really didn't like anything that girly from the colour pink to skirts and dresses. I got butterflies when I saw attractive female characters or models on TV. It always confused me since I also got them for guys. It wasn't until eight years ago that I finally started to accept my sexuality. When I told my husband about it, he was so accepting and understanding. My birth family isn't, unfortunately, as the last time I tried, my mom apparently got distraught, and my parents said it was a phase. I'm now turning 31 next month. It's still not a phase. I hope one day I can finally tell them everything and embrace it completely around everyone, even without their approval. Thank you for sharing your story. It's always amazing to hear other people's experiences. ❤
I've always known, I'd never be the manly man and I've felt more like I belonged with a clique of girls; gossiping while painting each other's nails, doing their hair etc.. But I never acted on it. I've been rather open about my non-straightness (bisexuality) online before, but never irl yet.. (except for not liking beer, but the most girly cocktails.) But now this damn pandemic made me realize, that I've been missing something this whole time and at age 26 (I know, still relatively young but..) I feel so much regret, for not embracing my femininity earlier. Yes, your video did make me cry! And yes, gen Z rocks!
It's really interesting to hear your perspective and experience of being bi! For me, I feel lucky that I never felt like I was constrained from my true nature growing up as a girl. But bi erasure did mean that I misinterpreted a few experiences. I had a couple of boy crushes and one girl crush in primary school, which I assumed was just admiration. Britney Spears had a huge influence on my sexuality, but that was kept secret because I understood that sex and sexuality should be private. Then by my mid-teens, my friends were all crushing on guys, and I didn't really get it. I rarely felt an attraction to anyone, and I was honest about it. It made them ask me if I was gay, and I'd honestly say "I don't know". Then, one year, I met a girl who I developed a huge crush on, and I suddenly had this "am I gay" panic. I wasn't worried about being gay, I was accepting of others being gay, but it just didn't feel like me, and that was really confusing, because here I was head over heels over a girl! It took months before I realized bi was an option, and it was such a relief! Suddenly everything made sense, and I felt so stupid for not considering it earlier! I thought I had a liberal sex education... but erasure is a sneaky thing.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Everyone’s is so different (even when they feel relatable too.) I’m glad you didn’t feel constrained from your true nature, but you’re right - bi erasure sure is sneaky!!! Britney Spears had a huge influence on me as well.
Born in '92. I also lived in biker shorts for a while! I wouldn't wear a skirt without them! Not that I liked skirts much anyway. Bermuda shorts all the way!
Literally I had same signs specially that first one , I am a cisgender male but i also have a lot of feminine aspects along with so many masculine aspects people would sometime call me a little girly or something in a friendly way tho and I would never pay attention to it , I even had a physical experience with a boy of my class and also many girlfriends after that in school still didn't payed any attention to those signs and years later I understand why it happened with me Thanks for this video Really resonated with me a lot 💗💜💙
I feel this a lot as someone who only in recent years recognised I was non-binary and bisexual. That feeling of a younger you climbing out that you were not able nurture. In some ways it can feel like a puberty you were not able to have when you were a teenager. The sort of thing you would have looked at your peers and think you are not like that.
Is the childhood obsession with matchy matchy crew and jogger sweatsuits bi culture?! I had the same thing! And tie die t-shirt and shorts set for summer. Fruit of the Loom baby!
Also Kate Hudson in the yellow gown in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck had me *worried* I was a lesbian... But I also really really wanted boys...
I am so glad I came across this lovely video!! It is so encouraging and affirming, and I relate to so much of what you shared. I love the home video clips and how you’re honoring your younger self. I also got Mister Rogers vibes towards the end, which is awesome because he’s one of my very favorite bisexual people 💗💜💙
How did you just give me the best compliment, perhaps of my LIFE?!?! Haha thank you so much for watching. I'm glad this was affirming for you!!! Keep on keepin on!
My father said he knew I was bi when as a child I was greatly offended that I would not be allowed to have my choice of a husband or wife because “I couldn’t predict the future & didn’t know who I would fall in love with” When same sex marriage became legal he called me & said “now you can have your choice” & I said “but what if I want one of each?” I’ve always been his impossible child
First time watcher and commenter! Just have to say, You ALL are so brave for being you and living your lives. Its like peaking through blind shades lol
Holy crap, the hatred of pink. I went through a period of hating anything I found to be high fem. Pink, purple, rhinestones, butterflies, dragonflies, dresses/skirts, and I would REFUSE to wear them. It had more to do with my gender than sexuality though. I also stopped using girl and went by tomboy, which allowed me to behave in feminine and masculine ways even though I was still treated like a girl.
I love your hair Jennica. It fits your beautiful face perfectly! You're very good at describing how bisexuals feel. I graduated from being bi to being lesbian in my journey so I find lesbians more intriguing. No offence to bisexuals, I've loved several, but I've moved on. I applaud your courage and devotion to educating others, and helping them feel accepted. Your beautiful and I would totally date you! 😊
I’m only 15 and within the first 5-6 minutes I’ve related so much 😭. I was super girly and loved pink when I was really little to around age 7 and then once I hit 3rd grade I was kinda turning into the complete opposite, I didn’t wanna wear dresses I “hated” pink but I’d still do things like play with barbies and stuff 😂. Now I look back on it, I was honestly just exploring myself and technically still am. Now I’m in 10th grade and I’m proud of how far I’ve come! 💗💜💙
ding ding ding! This was soo me. I am so so happy I accepted the truth in my early-mid 20s and gave validation to all of those feelings I had buried in the past. Keep being you!
I've recently realized I'm not straight and the signs from the past are so funny now, how could I disregard them. Some of them: -i was obsessed with watching bollywood movies because girls were so pretty, especially aishwarya rai whom i painted around 20 times -I would get extremely shy around pretty girls and start blushing -I haven't been interested in any men(expect for kylo ren for some reason) and i don't like how men look shirtless - I watched one tik tok od a girl on different outfits on a daily basis many times in a row because I found her pretty But i was CONVINCED I was straight because I was christian and I thought it's impossible 😆 (what's even more interesting how delusional I've been, I've been asked by multiple people if I were a lesbian (including my boyfriend at the time and my family members), I'm just impressed by my ability to lie to myself
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For some reason, certain comments aren't showing up publicly - not sure if this is because of my settings, but I changed them to allow all comments (lord help me probably). BUT someone just commented as a femme lesbian that being a tomboy isn't a sign of not being straight. TOTALLY!!! This was just my experience, and for me, looking back...my adamant desire to differentiate myself from gender norms felt connected to my inner knowing that I wasn't heteronormative and didn't want to follow expectations. As I say in the video, it's not *directly* connected to sexuality - just something I think about now. I dress femme too (look at my profile photo lol) and don't think that being femme means you're straight in any capacity! Wanted to clear that up. It's complicated, you know? And everyone's experience is different. Okay - carry on! Also - thanks for all the views. Would appreciate you checking out some of my other videos if you get a chance 💗💜💙💫 xoxo
You should prob aly Lin this
@@lizziestired what does that mean? lol I am apparently old!
@@jennicahill you should probaly pin this comment
@@lizziestired Oh - I had pinned it! I did again in case something happened.
@@jennicahill yeah it shows as pinned now ig youtube was being glitchy
Childhood signs I was bi:
I was cooler than everyone
😂😂😂🙌🏼🌟🏳️🌈 best comment ever
This made me laugh out loud thank you! 🤣 -a fellow bi cool kid 😎💙💜💗
4:08
Now I understand why everyone around me call me cool 💗💜💙
I would always be like “if I were a guy I’d be into her” turns out I didn’t need to be a guy
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I heard a little different version of it for many times and got really frustrated "If You were a guy I'd date with you" It gave me hope and desperation at the same time T^T
@@aviavi404- so funny that we thought you had to be one of the other and there was no middle option!
SAME
Oh my god. That's what I always say to myself. Is this a sign?
I'm 31. I thought I was straight until the pandemic forced me to stay at home and gave me the chance to spend time thinking about myself and my mental health. Accepting my sexuality has been the most liberating experience of my life. 2020 was a good year for me because I came out as bisexual :D
Wow - I'm so happy for you!!! Congratulations on coming out and for having the time to accept all parts of yourself. That is so wonderful!!! I totally know what you mean about that liberating feeling. Sending you love and light!!
Same:) 33 and finally got the nerve to talk to my beautiful neighbour. It's one thing the pandemic has been a positive for
@@sarahmclennan6558 That's wonderful!!! Good for you
As a 19 years old bi girl, I'm so proud of you guys🤗
When I go to University, I'd like to date a girl too. 😇 I hope it happens, but my internalised homophobia is really hard to get over😫
@@MonkeyDLuffy-rr3wl oh yeah - that internalized homophobia 😳 - well you’re way ahead of me and know you’re bi so I think you can do it!!!! Rooting for you 💜🤗
Childhood signs I was bisexual: "If it wasn't shamed in my religion, I think I would be capable of liking anyone as long as they were cool. I'm straight though."
*......*
(26 years later) Oh.
omg yes!
Shit. I remember having that thought Dx
The fact that I think like this now and I’m currently confused about my sexuality.Is that a sign?
So relatable!
Our inner child deserved so much more than we gave them, usually! So glad you are able to make her proud!
Oh my god so true. Thanks friend. Our inner children deserve some pampering. 😄
I was obsessed with Kim Possible and Shego
Omg Kim Possible!!!!
I still am😂
@@sety4252 😂😂
Omg, yes
Same here
When I was younger I always thought girls were cute, and I had thought that it was just normal, I had crushes on guys, and so I was like, I like guys I'm straight, and when a friend came out as bi, I was like "wait that's a thing?" and I had a crush on a girl in my class, and so like, I was like "I'm not bisexual. Am I?" Yeah that's how I found out I was bisexual.
The, "Wait, that's a thing?" is so real LOL. I didn't know being bi was possible for so long! Thank you for sharing your story!
I really relate to the not realizing being bi was an option bit. I have uncles who are gay, so I was vaguely aware that at least one other sexuality existed, but I knew I liked guys (I'm female), so I just kind of assumed I was straight. It took a friend coming out as bi in middle school for me as well to start putting the puzzle pieces together.
@@Sophia-zk5kz absolutely. I don’t think I knew it was an option really until I was a full grown adult. 😳 but I guess better late than never to fully accept yourself right?! Though of course it’s an ongoing process...
@@jennicahill omg same! Actually the first person that asked me it was my current Bf. And I was like “wait what? Am I?” And form then onwards everything started to click lol
@@chocolatecurls94 your bf sounds awesome! All the clicking haha
I'm a very straight girl, but I do relate to the forcing crushes on boys part. I remember looking at my male classmates, and picking the best looking and deciding he would be my crush. If a guy said he liked me I'd think "guess I like him back". I even had a boyfriend when I was like 8, and honestly I don't remember even noticing him before he liked me, and I broke up with him because I felt too young to date but I lied to everyone who asked why by saying I was jealous of other girls he was friends with. I even remember looking at random guys and praying I'd have crushes on them, and lying to everyone else about it. It's funny how people can force things like this, in a sad way. I still ended up exclusively into guys in the end, however.
I think it’s so much about what we think we’re supposed to do! I totally relate to this and had a “boyfriend” in third grade that I just tolerated lol. I couldn’t tell all the stories in the video bc it would have been even longer 😂😂
8- sis how old r u even- 💀
It's about misogyny. Everyone around me was talking about how cute a certain celebrity was. My parents would tease me about boys I paid absolutely no attention to. They determine our worth by who's attracted to us. I'm a bi girl but there are parallels in our experience because we are women.
Asexual?
8? bro u must be young
My mom dressed me in a pink flannel and cuffed jeans for my first picture day in Kindergarten where they made me sit on a chair backwards and now she's confused why I'm bi??
No but fr I think other signs were there too xD
Bahahahaha!!!! That is hilarious 😂
gotta start 'em young
@@queenv22 is it weird to hope my kid is bi? Lol
@@jennicahill not at all. in this day and age, it's pretty embarrassing to raise straight kids
LMAOOOOOO
Just yesterday i saw a kid in a store picking a unicorn bag from my little pony, and their grandparent said "No, this is for girls, you cant like it, you are a man". It just shock me so much, is surreal to me that a majority of people outside my bubble still pointlessly gender things. And blantantly say "you CANT like this"
It’s so insane to me! And sad. I wish we could just break totally free of that.
I would like to have a talk with that gentleman.
Sadly it's true. My sister stopped making bows because my nephew would wear them. I just wish she would let him be his self.
@@gaiaswildchildtarot :( me too
once a cashier in front of me gendered a package. package! it's insane that sometimes goes on in the minds of other people
I... relate way too much.
I was also such a “tomboy” as a kid but was also raised in a super conservative, evangelical world, so I never even entertained ideas about not being straight. Now I’m finding myself somewhere between bi, lesbian, and pansexual... still have more searching to do but I appreciate having this internet solidarity 🤗
Solidarity!! Yes! Whew yeah - it must be hard to unpack all of that learning you did growing up. I know it has been for me still. And it is constantly evolving. Wishing you all the best in your journey - no rush to figure it all out! Here in solidarity for sure. Thank you for watching 💜
I was in a super conservative baptist family, so I totally understand. I always questioned my sexuality but convinced myself I was straight until I did more digging and found I was bisexual. I'm so happy that you've discovered more about yourself and are accepting this part of you! 💖 You deserve to feel happy with all the parts of you that are naturally there and cannot change; to feel proud to be who you are.
@@BethanyHarbaugh thank you so much! That means a lot. I appreciate you sharing with me and watching the video. I hope everyone can accept who they are and live freely within that acceptance 💜💜
@@jennicahill an adult close to me while growing up told me: "why are you hanging out with this girl so much, why are you so obsessed with your friendship? be careful, people might think you are a lesbian" and I understand your struggle in such a deep level. with shoving that part of yourself down to the grave. thank you for this video. it is literal relief. I am 27 and for the past year alone have I accepted myself.
@@DanaePap_official thank you for sharing. That is so painful to hear! I’m so glad that you’ve been able to climb out of that and accept yourself. Better late than never I say!!! It’s a wonderful feeling (and such a process). 💜💜
My first kiss was with my childhood best friend, a girl like me, in elementary school, , that was def the first sign
Yep, that would do it! A nice, clear first sign! 🤗💜
My first kiss was also with my childhood best friend...I thought it was “just what best friends do” 😅
@@emilybeaudette9917 hahaha totally get that! My friends and I “experimented” or “practiced” and I thought that was just what we did too
First person I asked out was my best friend. I still thought I was straight a year and a half later lmao
@@andynonymous6769 hahaha we are great liars to ourselves!
When I was in 6th/7th grade, I slept over at my best friend's. When the room was dark and we lay in her bed I secretly wished we would cuddle and maybe even kiss. And it still took me many more years to realise and accept I'm bi!!! Just the denial, my God. I've always been supportive of LGBT people and so I always had some sort of impostor's syndrome, you know? I thought I'm just pretending to be bi to belong to those people and that I'm a bad person for inserting myself in a space. But looking back at all the signs, I'm quite certain that I am, in fact, bisexual.
(Really sorry for the rant)
No apologies necessary- I have felt the same way. Especially the imposter syndrome and worrying about inserting myself into a space. But you belong and so do I!!!! Thank you for sharing 💜
I have also struggled with the imposter syndrome and not wanting to invade LGBTQ spaces. It's nice to hear I'm not alone.
@@heatherstock4491 Absolutely.
When I was a child, I thought that having a crush on a boy felt different than having a crush on a girl, because I would always get this envious longing feeling around a boy I thought was cool or talented. And I thought that I liked them. Turns out, I wanted to BE them.
But with girls, I would get jittery and didn’t know how to talk to them without being weird. And they couldn’t understand why I acted like a stupid boy around them. Wasn’t until I was about ten that I heard the term bisexual and realized I have a leg up with both sexes. But suppressed bisexuality is no joke, man. 😆
you are right about that! It's noooo joke. I wanted to be so many of my guy friends too!!
Thank you for sharing!!
It's the opposite for me!
I always got all nervous and dumb talking with boys. With girls, I always assumed that my crushes weren't crushes, I just admired girls and wanted to be like them, and be around them more. Dating wasn't an option in my mind: the first time I even heard the word "busexual" was when I was 13. And I guess I don't get as nervous around girls because of our heteronormative society: I can tell girl crushes exactly what I think of them, that they're amazing, beautiful, and inspiring, and they'll just be like aw thanks sis, you too :P
It's a blessing and a curse
@@andynonymous6769 are u bisexual? rn i am actually in the process of realisation coz there have been girls whom i would admire and want to be like them...then tell myself i am jst straight i jst want to be like them i dont like them
@@debanjanade2204 ace
I've found out I'm bi when I fell in love with a girl. I remember thinking I just appreciate the beauty of the world and girls are very beautiful until then. I genuinely loved this girl, I've met her on Tumblr and didn't knew her gender when I developed a crush on her personality, then I've found out she's a girl, I was still into her and when I saw her picture, oh dear... and I just accepted it as it is with not much confusion, no denial or shock.
Good for you!!! I felt the same about appreciating female beauty until I realized I was bi. Thanks for sharing!
that’s adorable oml
In high school grade one, I had this Internet bestfriend. She said to me that she might be going abroad and I full on wrote paragraphs of love messages to her and cried really bad because she was going to be more far away from me than she already was. Then my family caught me and asked if she was my girlfriend and I got so offended by that question that I've stopped talking to her all together. Now I'm out to myself as a bisexual woman and it's a liberating feeling.
That must have felt so intense and hard! It’s also scary when someone comes at you with that kind of thing before you’re ready to share it. I’m so glad that you’ve been able to come out to yourself and feel liberated by that. It really is such an amazing feeling! Thank you for sharing 💜
Ok but one sign i was bisexual that I realize now if that i always liked feminine guys and never actually masculine guys. Later i realized that the way I feel about having a celebrity crush on a guy wasnt much different than how I'd feel about a female celebrity I liked. And as a preteen I was constantly asked if I was gay bcuz i was tomboyish, I never fitted in with girls and guys, and I would constantly try stroke a girl's hair in class. I didn't notice anything could mean anything else. There's obviously more, but I don't wanna write an essay. Hope this helps someone too.
Thank you for sharing! Feel free to write an essay if you want!! Lol. That’s interesting about the feminine guys. I’ve also been more attracted to people in general who are in touch with both their masculine and feminine sides.
I've felt the same way but the only difference is that I'm a femme girl
@@danaabelle ❤️❤️❤️
Omg thanks for sharing this, it really helped me, I feel the exact same!!
@@danaabelle Same here! I always felt I had masculinity in me, and I admired the looks of some girls in class. I figured out I might be biromantic, and everything clicked into place.
The fact that I was attracted to both the male and female protagonists of so many shows I watched as a kid should have given me a clue that I'm bi. Phil of the Future for example. Both the main characters were cute.
Phil of the Future!!!!!! Yes I feel that for sure.
Omg … yes
Fr
I was never big on celebrity crushes, so my subconscious signs took a different form, especially in college. I avoided planned 1 on 1 interactions with male friends like the plague. It didn't matter if it was dining in at a fast food place, or going to a retreat for a weekend. And it didn't matter that we were close friends. It still gave me a weird anxiety that I only now recognize as my brain saying, "YO, this feels like a DATE!"
Wowww!!! That’s so interesting and makes a lot of sense! Thank you for sharing your story 💜💜
Thank you for putting this video out. My daughter is 12 1/2 and told me recently she likes girls. The fire time she told me that was when she was 10. She has all these signs you’re stating. I specially the part about not liking or being attracted to boys. My 15 year old daughter is total opposite and as a mom I’ve just always seen the signs.
Your daughters are so lucky to have a mom like you! Thank you for watching and for sharing 💜
you are such a great mom
tonight i watched this and realized that even though i've considered myself "out" for forever, i've actually been keeping it a secret and been unwilling to admit how much internalized homophobia i actually have.
so 20 minutes after watching this i came out to my dad and grandma jakfjdsklajfskdj it went great! thank you so much for the push to accept myself and share myself. your vulnerability really made a difference for me today
My heart just exploded. I am so happy for you!!! It's so interesting - I had a similar experience when I realized I had "come out" but hadn't really been open about it to my family. Thank you so much for sharing!! This is the goal - to help each other - and each comment helps me in turn. What great great news!!!!!
I’m bi and transgender. I fee you sister.
🥰🤩💜
I grew up in the 80s and 90s and much of what you said is relatable. My family was religious and forced me to wear dresses. I actually tried to compromise and tried to ask for blue. Nope. Had to be pink.
Amongst other things that made me feel that I could not "feel outside the box", I just felt like there was something wrong with me and couldn't understand my actual feelings.
Then, I had a friend that talked about gay people. I was intrigued by it.
My mother actually asked me at age 11 (me not her, lol) if I was attracted to girls. I was so afraid to say yes that I denied it.
It took me years to figure out, much like you that I am just attracted to who I was. Man or woman, it didn't matter.
I am now 41 and happily in a relationship for going on 14 years.
It was hard, harder than I could explain, but I relate so much to this video.
Thank You for it.
“Harder than I could explain.” That is so real. Thank you so much for sharing 💜💜
Ugh, i love all these "its ok to be bi" videos. It genuinely helps to have it now but good lord this would have been awesome 20 years ago. Im glad the younger crowd is much more accepting.
I feel you. I wish we had videos like this 20 years ago too!!!! Always progressing, hopefully.
It took a long time to come to terms with my biromantic feelings because I’m also ace. I didn’t have that ‘infatuation’ with celebrities or anything like that. I just kinda ignored how I wanted to kiss my girl best friend. (For reference I was a teen in the 2010s)
Ah wow that’s a really tough combination to figure out I’m sure. I think it’s a lifelong journey for many people too! Thanks for sharing 💜
As a child I wanted to marry my female best friend, because I loved her so much more than I could ever love a boy.
I also had huge crushes on female actresses. I was obsessed with them for month and hang up pictures of them, in the same behaviour, other girls would do with boys.
And it still took me almost 17 years to find out, that I am a lesbian.
Now with 19 years, there are still moments, when I remember situations in which I acted obviously gay, but didn't realize, that they were. I was for example OBSESSED with the music video of "Can't remember to forget you" because I liked the song. Sure Katie, then why do you watch the clip and don't just listen to it?
If only we had the option to just be attracted to whoever we were attracted to from a young age! Maybe then it wouldn’t take so long 🤦🏻♀️ I had obsessions with female musicians even in college and didn’t put two and two together! Thank you for sharing!
I'm a lesbian, but when I was a child, i wanted to marry elmo from sesame street 😅. I had an elmo plushie i brought everywhere and 3 other elmo plushies sitting at home. I don't think i ever had a crush on elmo though, i think i just saw elmo as my bestest friend, so it made sense to marry your bestest friend.
@@phadenswandemil4345 haha that’s so cute and totally does make sense!
@@phadenswandemil4345 You are right. I actually never had a crush on my kindergarden friend, but all the other girls didn't have real crushes on their male best friends either and still dreamed of marrying then or another boy one day.
I relate to the part of the music video but in the opposite side lol I always felt kind of uncomfortable when looking at things that had beautiful and sexy women in it and I never knew why, now I'm questioning my sexuality (80% sure I'm bi) and maybe I know the reason know...
This video made me remember how I had a huge crush on my best friend in middle school but didn’t do anything because I was too confused
Ah those memories!
I wrote love songs to my middle school bff and didn't even realize I was gay lmao
@@goldenknox LOL there it is. 💜💜
@VinylGeek great to find out early I’m jealous!! 💜
I didn't do anything, because I didn't want to ruin the friendship or be too weird
For me I think I knew since I was like 13 but I only admitted it and accepted it during quarantine. The advice people always give on the internet is "ask yourself, how would you identify if nobody was around to judge you." I mean I knew I wouldn't identify as straight but I was always too scared that I, I don't know, wasn't bi enough. But then I didn't see anybody for like 6 months and boom, the only person judging my level of gayness is me and I deem myself bi.
💜💜💜💜 makes me so happy. Congratulations!
Almost 30 and still in the closet, hoping to come out soon. Thanks for this representation :)
Here for you! Whenever it feels right, you’ve got this 💪🏼💪🏼
Same!
I’m almost 22 now, and I’ve known I was lesbian for about 8 yrs but I’ve only come out to a few people. I really want to explore that side of myself because I still haven’t, I’ve been watching a lot of videos on the topic.
That’s great that you’re exploring it! I did the same thing when I was trying to figure it all out. Sending you love and light 💫❤️
I haven't talked about my sexuality to anyone except my boyfriend, and I'm still hiding in the shadows. I don't feel "bi" enough because I haven't had a true sexual experience with a woman yet.
I was right there too, and I haven’t had an experience with a woman either. I talk about that in one of my videos, and that part can feel really invalidating but you are definitely bi enough. Sending you love 💖💜💙
@@jennicahill you're right, it does feel extremely invalidating because that's everyone's first question. And when we say no they're like "oh well then you don't KNOW". But to hear another bi person say that helps a lot. Thank you.
@@zombieinfection1999 anytime. We need to validate each other! Those people are acting out of fear and misunderstanding and judgment.
Same. And I have kids and one of them is asexual right now. But I feel like my mom has always known and my older sister that I was into girls and am secretly bi 😬 but I grew up in a strict religious household… I told my partner from the beginning that I am I to women and if I ever cheated on him it would be with a woman because I have not explored that yet and the 🔥is there. 😬
I‘m a guy, but your experience is so incredibly similar to mine, it‘s scary.
I remember so many instances where I would feel these crazy strong feelings towards my best male friend and just think, that was the way everybody felt xD
I mean BOI I literally read dozens of gay fanfiction but was still convinced I was totally straight.
Compulsorary heterosexuality is terrible and I know so many bisexual people who did not understand their own sexuality well into their 20s (like myself).
Totally! Thanks for being here. No matter your gender, I do think it’s just hard to figure out being bi, especially if it wasn’t discussed growing up!!
I'm questioning my sexuality and this video really helped
I’m glad to hear that. Hearing other people’s stories really helped me too.
Me too
@@kodak3619
The thing that really helped me out most when I was questioning was when someone reminded me of two things:
1. you don't need to have acted on your same sex attraction to be bi. If you have the feelings, you're bi. Period.
2. You don't need to measure "what percentage gay am I?" Sexuality really is a spectrum, and there's no specific threshold of gayness you need to pass to qualify as bisexual.
Hope that helps! Good luck
@@catt021 I actually made a video about your first point, and I think it's so important! ruclips.net/video/ue416_BhSKI/видео.html
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the group!
I grew up in a very homophobic family going to a very fundemental church. I only came out of the church almost 4 years ago.
I am just now discovering I'm bi and basically married also.
Your videos are so helpful for me since our situations are so similar! 🥰
By the way, I'm 28.
@@RatsPicklesandMusic That must be really hard to reckon with, especially after hearing in church and around your family that what was so natural to you was "wrong" for so long. I didn't grow up in a heavily religious household, so I can only imagine how much more I would have stuffed my sexuality if I was dealing with that dynamic too. Thank you for sharing - it's helpful for me to hear stories of people who relate to me too! Having community helps me feel less alone too, and every time someone says "I relate" I breathe a sigh of relief.
i’m a zoomer and while i’m blessed that i could come out when i was in middle school, i still had to deal with the internalized biphobia in elementary. i grew up in a very conservative baptist town where if you didn’t meet the status quo, you were the oddball. i very much related to the signs and honestly, i’m glad i’m not the only one who went through those signs. to everyone who hasn’t come out yet, you’re loved and valid.
Ugh yes thank you so much. You are loved and valid too! I appreciate you sharing. It is so helpful to have a community and know we’re not alone.
Me in kindergarten: secretly obsessed with girly things and beautiful princesses, beautiful girls in general
*Watch my first Disney princess movie*
Me: oh, so, I'm supposed to like boys. OK, i guess....
Me at 17, just realized I'm bi: damn it...
Oh what a great storyteller you are! Congratulations and welcome to the bi realization club!
same
U kno, I had this "best friend" with whom I would do EVERYTHING, but hurt me when she was talking about boys and didn't react to my comments like 'if that doesn't work out, we always can be gay'
BEST FRIEND, SURE
Now that I know I fell like I used her, since unconsciously knew that I loved her
You did the best you could with the information and maturity you had! You even said unconsciously, so doesn’t seem like you were using her, but I totally get how you might feel that way now. 💜 be good to yourself friend
I thought I was straight until I watched The Nanny and something awakened within me
I mean... sure. Yeah.
Omg The Nanny is one of my favorite shows of all time 😁
Your timeline of events sounds remarkably like mine. When I was 14, I suddenly realized that I could also be attracted to men as well as women (based on seeing a male public figure on TV), reacted with fear, shame and obsession, then at 28 went through a personal revolution to become comfortable with being bisexual.
That was the late 1980s, and I found that I fit into no group at all. Although my city was and is pretty LGBT-friendly, it seems everybody here thought bi necessarily meant polyamorous, or 3-ways, or just self-indulgent. Heterosexual women were scared by poor journalism of the '80s that claimed bi men were the key spreader of AIDS.
I was very lonely. I appreciate sources such as your channel showing bisexual in human, individual terms. Kate Brown's election as Oregon governor also helped dispel a totally uncalled for stigma.
Wow that does sound so similar to my timeline. Thank you for sharing your story. I didn’t know that about bi men and the rumor around AIDS. I’m so glad you had your personal revolution!! And I am constantly surprised by the lack of bi representation, so let’s keep sharing.
Im so late to this but thank you so much for this, i recently came out as not straight but im constantly questioning my sexuality and its so confusing, i relate to literally all of this looking back on my childhood, thank you so so much
Thank you so much for watching and sharing your feelings/thoughts. It IS so confusing. I guess all we can do is be patient with ourselves and let it be as fluid as it needs to be. Sending you lots of love! 💜
I grew up in a small town and went to a private Catholic school and I would say I was a little tomboyish too. I also grew up not knowing about LBGTQ so when I heard of it, I realized that I was bisexual.
How did you realize? You just knew that was one of the options and you were like “oh yeah that one!” Because that’s awesome
@@jennicahill I had a crush on my best friend (female) Also i said this comment not watching the entire video lol
@@BiBeeWithTea ahh okay! Haha no worries
I had a best friend in middle school that stopped hanging out with me when she got a boyfriend, and I was so hurt because we did everything together. I did not have the words to even express it so we just stopped being friends. Then in ninth grade, I had private beef (only in my head lol) with this couple (girl/guy) and I always wrote about them in my diary. I was weirdly jealous of the both of them. It took me until college to figure out that I was bi.
Those in your head beefs are SO REAL! lol. I'm so glad that you've figured it out now, but all that childhood stuff definitely causes real pain, and it's hard to process until you realize what was going on for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
oh man, i am from a different generation! when i was really young i didn’t know the term bisexual but i knew i was really into both han solo and princess leia. i kinda thought everyone was into both boys and girls but only dated the opposite sex because the expectation was to get married and reproduce. this was the deep rural south in the early 80’s. we all chased and were chased by boys at school but at home my girlie friends and i watched madonna videos on repeat and practiced making out with each other. i never discussed it with my mum but she must have known something was up because by the time i hit high school in the early 90’s we had to sleep in the living room anytime i had friends spend the night.
Love this video! I’m heteroromantic and bisexual - though I didn’t realize this fully until this year. There were many, many different signs from my childhood that have popped into my mind now that I have finally figured out exactly where on the many spectrums my sexuality lies. I’ve come to realize that I have always been attracted to women, and thinking through past experiences brings that to light. There were so many things in this video I relate to, thanks for making it!
thank you so much for sharing this 💜 i’m glad you relate and appreciate you being open about your experience
I relate to this so much! I’m 31 & still not comfortable coming out fully yet. Some people know, but not very many. Hoping to be able to come out fully one day. 🏳️🌈
All in your time!!! Thank you so much for sharing 💜💜💜
When I look back at my childhood, it was really funny that how couldn't nobody noticed I wasn't straight, even myself.
I guess it's bc of raising in a strict family:')
Yeah - I wonder if some people just don't even allow it to be an option in their minds, you know? Because it is something they are too afraid of or don't even think about since it's not the "norm" to them. I can't believe I didn't figure it out sooner either!
@@jennicahill I agree with you! Like you've said it wasn't even an option for me too! I remember when I've first realized, I was 11, I went to my mom and literally ask about is it normal or not. And of course my very religious mom said I wasn't "like that" so I've believed her. After that for like 2 years, I was homophobic. Later I've became an ally but finally last year I accepted myself. Now I'm 19 and finally I feel like my true self, even I love myself. I hope everybody can find themselves too!
@@studywithselene5490 I’m so happy for you!!! 😍😍
when I was around 12-13 I told my mom that I thought I was bi, while my mom is definitely not homophobic the first thing she said was "i don't think people can be bi" and that made me drop the subject and back track into being confused again. I'm almost 20 now and I'm still not sure if i am actually bi or i made it up because I know so many people who are in the lgbt community. I've always had an attraction to girls but whenever I try to actually date someone there's this awkward energy to it that makes everything feel forced, it's so confusing and hard to figure out but im not really in a rush.
All of that sounds hard. I'm sorry your mom said that. I do think so many people have that opinion, and of course it's not true! Of course you can be bi! Keep following your instincts. Even if you don't end up dating other girls, that doesn't mean you're not bi. It might mean you haven't found the right person or that you're attracted to females but not necessarily interested in having full on relationships with them. I'm glad you're not in a rush, and I wish you all the best as you discover all the magical things about you!
0:33 her subscription button had a rainbow boreder
I appreciate YOUR honesty.
I feel you on some of the shame still buried inside. I just discovered what “internalized homophobia” means.
Blew my mind. It helped me to realize that I have lots more healing to do.
I also grew up in a more religious environment and a different time.
I FEEL you 💗💗💗
I absolutely adore your personality and video style!
I think we would have been great friends as kids. I deeply resonate with your feelings, and the color pink ☺️
You and your inner child is a bad ass!!
“Society was telling her one thing and her head was telling her another thing”
💯 💯 💯
This is such an inspiring and FUN video.
Thank you for sharing your personal story and kid videos.
Looks like we both had a crush on Kate Winslet 😄😂☺️
Thank you so much for watching and sharing!!! Internalized homophobia...yeah, wow.
I think we would have been great friends as kids too! I appreciate you so much - thanks for the kind words and for connecting with me here. Means a lot.
YOU and your inner child are a badass, friend!!!
@@jennicahill thank you, Jennica!!
So stoked to connect on here!🙏💫✌️
Can’t wait for more of your videos. 🤙
@@transspiritindigo27 saaame to you!
I'm Bisexual and Asexual (I think) so idk how that works...but your video made a lot of sense to me, the denial and questions you had. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for watching and commenting! And congrats on figuring out how you identify (or being in process of).
I had the same experience, just that it was with Chris Hemsworth and Ryan Reynolds. I literally never understood why I was so turned on when they appeared in the movies. Watching Thor Ragnarok with my parents while looking un-aroused was one of the most difficult things to do lol. And then in 2019 I came across reddit and found out about being bi and finally understood what I was feeling was normal and was felt by a lot of people around the world. Honestly, the internet's helped me a lot in figuring out my sexuality and now that I've finally properly come to terms with it, I'm grateful for the internet. My parents definitely wouldn't mind if I was actually bi or gay or trans or anything, but living in India I'd been scared coz of the amount of negative reception from people for making the LGBTQ+ legal. I will come out to them, but until then I'll stick to slowly coming out to one friend after the other
I’m sure it’s a hard balance, but I’m so glad your parents are supportive!! The Internet certainly has some great advantages, and one of those is bringing people together to support each other. Thank you for sharing!! 💜💜
I remember I was more of a Rock and Roll type. But I was obsessed with Britney Spears. I remember telling my friend “I know it’s not my type of music but I’m just really into her videos.” So “creative”. lol. 😂😂😂. I didn’t understand it. 😂😂😂
My childhood signs was I wanted to be a boy my whole life and I hated being a girl but I just thought everyone felt that way nope im a trans femboy♥
Pretty strong signs! I’m so glad you have been able to be your full self and identify in a way that feels right to you. 💜💜 thank you for sharing!!
VENT:
I’ve always wanted to do what boys do, but I never acted on it, from what I remember. I always knew it was wrong, so it was probably a traumatic memory I don’t know of. I was always nervous to talk to guys because my mom kept pretending any guy I interacted with was my boyfriend. But still, I’ve never really hated being a girl, I’ve never liked it though, and I started getting dysphoric during puberty. I suffered with a lot of mental illness, and I felt incredibly disconnected with myself throughout childhood. I always had a certain role I played with each person, and I really played into female gender roles and being a girl. I never thought I was a guy, but I didn’t like being called a girl.
Am I really trans?
@@AN-ou6qu I can’t tell you if you’re trans, but I hope you keep exploring and deep thinking to follow your intuition! I hear you about playing a certain role with each person. I used to do that and still do to some extent. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with trauma related to your identity. I wish you all the best as you continue to love yourself as you are - whatever that means for you 💜💜💜
My mom told me, when I was 4, that all kids wished they were a different gender. Took me decades to realize she was wrong. Toddler me knew who I was better than anyone else, even adult me. Kids know.
@@Hakumeiun I love this. Yes they do!!
I'm 25 and only last year, thanks partially to quarantine, I found out I'm autistic and bi.
First time I ever identified with the bi label I was 11. First time I was bullied and called a lesbian I was 10. Somehow I just locked it all in a vault and threw it away for very long.
Thank you for sharing! Bullying 😞 - but hurray for learning new things about yourself!! 💜💜💜🌟💫
Shook. But in the most positive liberated way.🥲
SHOOK!!! Haha thank you Muretta xoxoxoxo
Yeah. You may as well have been describing my childhood and teen years. I've been calling myself bi for a while but feeling like a fraud or faker, but this has cemented it for me really. Your confusion is comforting to my confusion ❤️
You’re not a faker! Glad to hear we can be comforting to each other though 💜
@@jennicahill Thank you
@@melanyebaggins big hugs to you friend
Listening to you and your journey makes me feel..calm.. and suprised, bc what you are saying in this video are exacly what I'm feeling and thinking (and very simillar childhood experience). I am engaged to a male and I discoverd pretty late aswell that i am Bi. And its really liberating to hear about other people who are in the same boat as me. Its nice :)
You should explore yourself first before getting married because you might find out later that you're something else. It's not fair to both parties in a marriage.
This is basically my exact experience. Down to all my friends having crushes on JTT and Hansen haha and me feeling like I was defective or something.
Thanks for sharing this x
Thank you so much for saying so and for watching! It’s always nice to know I wasn’t alone in that lol 🥰
When you finally accept Yourself As bisexual it gets a little easier, but it is still hard to live with .
I hear you.
I relate SO MUCH! When I was a kid and "fucking Åmål" came out, I watched it and felt SO BAD. I was so scared I was lesbian because the movie taught me that if you are, you'll have a really hard time. So it scared me so much and I just tucked all that away. + just as you I had no idea what bisexual was, I had never heard about it. I just turned 30 and the months leading up to it I realized that, no, I'm not straight. The thing now is that I second guess it because I think I want a trait that makes me interesting. + really scared of what it may mean I guess. There is like this whole unexplored part of myself that I just pushed away. What else am I pushing away? Do I even know myself at all?! So this is what an identity crisis is like XD Thanks for sharing your story!
Oh my goodness yes to all of this. I haven’t seen that .. and now I want to. I feel like an identity crisis is much preferable to not knowing yourself so cheers to you!!! 🥂
I recently accepted I was Bi and this just explained so much to me. I'm a demi so I don't get lots of crushes and I never had any like celeb crushes but, I would constantly get all flustered around a lot of my guy friends and never understood why. I told myself I was completely straight just because I thought I had to be but, when I first heard about Bisexuality its like it all clicked together. I always felt like there was this lingering "thing" in the back of my head, so I sorta always knew I liked boys too I just never accepted it. But at 19 I feel pretty happy figuring it out and being confident with myself.
Congratulations on accepting yourself ⭐️ that is so huge, and it’s a lifelong journey .. but to be 19 and have that kind of self awareness? Good on you! Happy for you and thank you for sharing.
You have to realize that you are okay and you are not less of a man because you are bisexual it does not mean you are a bad guy you are a caring person who has feeling's for both sexes. I wish you well in your life journey.
dude u seriously remind me of a tv show, like ur channel has that vibe
Oh my goodness thank you! I’ll take it!
I accepted that I was queer 10 months ago, and started feeling like the I am more bi than anything else two months ago. Now, I'm actively using it as how I speak about myself publicly. It's all been this slow unraveling of what I told myself I was for so dang long. Looking back I can see young me doing similar things as you. Eventually, it was like I'm tired of using the rebuttal to my attraction to women of "but I see myself with a man," and I felt so relieved and happy. I'm still learning, and it's really helpful to find people like you sharing your experience. I appreciate it💜
I appreciate you too! Thank you for sharing 💜💜
During my pre-teen years and even now, when I saw a women I liked in movies or tv shows, I wanted to dress like them. I didn’t realize that I had a crush on them, but now it’s so prominent😂 Claire from the TV show Heroes, Liesl from The Sound of Music, Laura Benanti from She Loves Me, and Renée Elise Goldsberry from Rent (just to name a few)😂 when I realized that I’m bi, I was watching Betsy Wolfe in Falsettos and she was singing her part in the song ‘something bad is happening’. The song was stuck in my head for the past few days, so I decided to watch it again on RUclips. And then I realized, “wait.... I have a big crush on Betsy Wolfe.............” Before I came out, I had a crush on a friend of mine (who’s also a girl) 3-4 years earlier, but I quickly dismissed it. But on that day, I took quizzes about sexuality, and felt like I wanted to kiss girls (up to this point I was a straight-ally, with going to DragCon, a Pride for Youth party, and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with my sister (who’s also bi). ) it just felt different than the other women I admired.
Now, it’s been a little over 3 months since I came out to myself as bisexual, and fortunately, my friends and family have been very understanding and supportive😊 (and many of my friends are also bi or gay)
Hope y’all enjoyed my story (:
I know I enjoyed your story!!! Thank you for sharing. I had the biggest crush on Cheryl Cole and would watch her videos on repeat and didn’t realize I didn’t just want to be like her lol. That was college! I’m so glad the folks in your life have been so supportive!!! 💜
@@jennicahill thanks so much :))
@@Shae29 thanks for engaging and watching! ❤️
Angelina Jolie had me a mess in Gia back in my time.
Thank you. I can’t explain how much I needed to hear your story. It’s the first time I heard anyone accurately verbalize how I’ve felt my whole life. After listening to you describe yourself as a kid- especially when express how you put that part of yourself in a box and didn’t think about it later in life, I feel such a relief. I feel valid, and seen, and maybe even “enough.”
🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
"I have been hiding for so long
But these feelings they are not gone"
💜🌟
When I was a child I wanted to have a bedroom that "no one could tell if it was a boy's room or a girl's room."
I think that was a pretty obvious sign that I had big bi energy.
definitely. i love it. what were the colors you liked in your room? just curious!!
@@jennicahill My favorite color, green! I loved everything green. I'm partial to blue greens, but it could be any green when I was a kid. 🙂
@@wareforcoin5780 love green!!!
Thank you so much for this video! Just recently realized I’m bisexual, and I’m still in the closet living with a very religious family in the bible belt. Some signs that made me realize were feeling this strong romantic tension with some of my female friends. Except I would totally project and think that the tension came from them liking me for some reason 🙃 Homophobia has been so deeply ingrained in me that I still don’t think I fully realize it.
Happy for you that you’ve been able to realize this about yourself, despite your circumstances right now. Sending you lots of love and healing as you continue your journey! 💖
The influence of growing up in very religious families can really mess people up. It's great that you're already realizing who you are. Some day, you won't be living with your family. It's going to be amazing!!
Okay so here are my signs
(I seriously can’t tell if I’m bi or straight)
-I’ve never crushed on a girl but I get obsessed with things easily so when I was younger there were a lot of girl celebrities and actresses who I would want to be like a lot. I would make them my wallpaper, listen to all their songs if they did music, and try to act like them so idk what that means
-my friend who was a girl tried to kiss me at the pool but I pushed her away and told her I didn’t want to kiss a girl which I felt bad about because she looked hurt. Something in my head told me “why don’t u just try it even tho it feels weird” after that I forgot about it and never really thought about it. We were normal again too 😄 she was still acting kind of weird and touchy but I just ignored it.
-my favorite colors when I was younger used to be pink, blue, purple because I thought they looked pretty together but also I thought colors were just colors like I didn’t even know that had a meaning 😭
-I’ve only crushed on guys, and I don’t get nervous around girls. I feel more emotionally connected to girls because I like being friends with them more, but I’m more attracted to guys overall
-one time I saw two girls kissing but I only glanced at it for a second and then went on with my day, like it didn’t make me feel anything
-one time a girl was staring at me and it felt weird.
That’s all please help me 😭
I don’t think you need to put a label on your feelings if it’s not feeling right to you! There’s such a spectrum of attraction and sexuality, and some people identify as being sexually attracted to one gender while more romantically attracted to another. Also, you could just really value your female friendships! And I think it’s very normal to feel certain things toward anyone, regardless of gender. We’re all just living life! But if you want to keep exploring what identity feels right for you right now, I recommend journaling, therapy, talks with people you trust, etc. - check out my resources video! It takes time. No rush. And whatever you discover, you are valid!!! 💜🌟
I really appreciate you share your personal feelings and experience with the community, thank you for that!
Since some time I have been questioning my own sexuality (25yrs o age) and I'm still confused 💃
But your video feels like it's guiding a way 🌈
Well life is a magical journey 🙂
Thank you for watching and for this comment of support Sarah! Life sure is a magical journey!!! Sometimes I still feel confused too. But the great news is, only you get to decide so you have all the time you need! Wishing you all the best on this journey 🌟🏳️🌈💜
Oh my - This is so relatable. I had a huge crush on my female teacher when I was in preschool (I had like fantasies about her and I wasn't able to talk to her because I would blush so much when I saw her because I liked her so much and thought she was so cute). I was so anxious because I didn't know what was happening (no girl in my class had that too). I was also only about 10 or 11 when that happened.
10:30 Exactly the same. I was so scared to not fit in. I also had an eating disorder back then so I remember I did feel that way about girls but I didn't want to feel it. I always thought bisexuality was not real, because everyone said you were either gay or lesbian. And also that were these type of people I really wasn't.
Honestly happy to hear you're happy now:) thnx for sharing.
Thank you for sharing too!
I've been bisexual most of my life. I never question it and have been mostly comfortable with it.
That's great!
@@jennicahill I had a sort of sexual relationship with my best friend growing up, from like 5th grade to around middle school. We kissed and did other stuff together (not actual sex) and considered it "practice" for girls LOL. We both ended up getting lots of female attention in high school and remained best friends even though we stopped doing stuff together like that. I never knew if he became like me or not. It got to where I was fantasizing about him when I was with girls. I am 40 now and still have my boyish good looks LOL, but I really do see bisexuality as a beautiful thing and while it's stressful and emotional at times with feelings, it's definitely made me a happier and kinder person.
I didn't like being called a princess or gorgeous by my grandma, and would prefer having my hair brushed all nice. Also whenever my family would say things like "youll marry a man one day" or "what boys do you like? " i never liked those questions, they made me so uncomfortable and i would always be mad if they asked me that
I've been coming out as bi to some people since last year but recently I've been having a lot of second thoughts and my good old friend the impostor syndrome has been hitting me pretty hard. This video really helped me out, we had such a similar experience; my mouth was on the floor when u mentioned how all of your friends had celebrity boy crushes from the time while u were obsessed with female celebrities because I experienced the same at the hype of High School Musical, Twilight and Justin Bieber. I could only look at Sharpay and Alice and felt like there was something wrong with me 😂 Thank you so much for this wonderful video, I'm so happy i found your channel ❤️
I’m so glad this video could help you say goodbye to that darn imposter syndrome! Thank you for sharing - we are all in this together and can help each other stay true to our true selves 💜💜💜
I’m about to turn 21 and I’m just now starting to question my sexuality. Throughout my entire childhood I suppressed any sort of feelings I would have towards girls because I was scared of what that would mean. I thought that since I was still very much attracted to boys I would just ignore these other feelings, but now I’m starting to become comfortable with calling myself bi-curious ☺️
I’m so happy for you! 21 might seem late but the great news is now you have a whole life ahead of you to explore this. 💖💜💙🌟🙌🏼
One of my first sexual thought as a kid was about a famous man at the time.
I didn't question why I was thinking about men in such a way and it certainly never bothered me.
I knew then without actually knowing it,
I liked boys and girls.
And I still do.
Yes!!! 💗💜💙
Wow, this is like a mirror of my experience. Growing up in the same age, society and the media generally frowning on these things, though my parents probably would have been accepting, kids in school being unaccepting, wanting to wear more feminine clothes but thinking it was not okay, and not figuring it all out till much later.
Thank you for making this.
Thank you for sharing! It’s so nice to have a community of folks who understand 💜💜💜
I love this video. Thank-you for sharing your story and being open with your viewers so everyone can benefit from your story.
One of my favourite things is the "OMG I SO WANT TO BE THEM!" when in reality you have a crush on them... You know, when you're totally in love with this character or whatever, but you don't know of other sexualities other than straight yet, so you just think that you want to be like them. So many of my friends have a lot of characters they said that about. I just think it's the funniest thing.
It is just the easiest way to explain it, I guess...without having to be something other than straight. It is so interesting!
I'm late to this party but I related to this so hard. I'm an elder Millenial so was a child in the 80s, teen in the 90's and I didn't know anything about bisexuality. We couldn't secretly Google it until way later. I didn't figure out what I was until I was 42, but I felt exactly as you did as a kid. I just supressed the shit out of it as I grew up in a religious home where it would have been unsafe. I also just didn't think my attraction for women was abnormal I think is ironically what made me not get it. When I understood others didn't really feel the same way it made sense. But my differences with straight women around some gender things like clothes and interests always made me feel not quite understood. You've really validated a lot for me. Thank you.
I grew up in a Baptist Christian home in the 90's, so we were very sheltered. I had a very similar childhood as you, although we were told that being gay was a sin. Growing up, I was very much the 'tomboy' as well. I also went through a phase around the age of 10-25 that I really didn't like anything that girly from the colour pink to skirts and dresses. I got butterflies when I saw attractive female characters or models on TV. It always confused me since I also got them for guys. It wasn't until eight years ago that I finally started to accept my sexuality. When I told my husband about it, he was so accepting and understanding. My birth family isn't, unfortunately, as the last time I tried, my mom apparently got distraught, and my parents said it was a phase. I'm now turning 31 next month. It's still not a phase. I hope one day I can finally tell them everything and embrace it completely around everyone, even without their approval.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's always amazing to hear other people's experiences. ❤
I've always known, I'd never be the manly man and I've felt more like I belonged with a clique of girls; gossiping while painting each other's nails, doing their hair etc..
But I never acted on it.
I've been rather open about my non-straightness (bisexuality) online before, but never irl yet.. (except for not liking beer, but the most girly cocktails.)
But now this damn pandemic made me realize, that I've been missing something this whole time and at age 26 (I know, still relatively young but..) I feel so much regret, for not embracing my femininity earlier.
Yes, your video did make me cry!
And yes, gen Z rocks!
💜💜💜💜💜💗💗💗💗💗💗
It's really interesting to hear your perspective and experience of being bi! For me, I feel lucky that I never felt like I was constrained from my true nature growing up as a girl. But bi erasure did mean that I misinterpreted a few experiences. I had a couple of boy crushes and one girl crush in primary school, which I assumed was just admiration. Britney Spears had a huge influence on my sexuality, but that was kept secret because I understood that sex and sexuality should be private. Then by my mid-teens, my friends were all crushing on guys, and I didn't really get it. I rarely felt an attraction to anyone, and I was honest about it. It made them ask me if I was gay, and I'd honestly say "I don't know". Then, one year, I met a girl who I developed a huge crush on, and I suddenly had this "am I gay" panic. I wasn't worried about being gay, I was accepting of others being gay, but it just didn't feel like me, and that was really confusing, because here I was head over heels over a girl! It took months before I realized bi was an option, and it was such a relief! Suddenly everything made sense, and I felt so stupid for not considering it earlier! I thought I had a liberal sex education... but erasure is a sneaky thing.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Everyone’s is so different (even when they feel relatable too.) I’m glad you didn’t feel constrained from your true nature, but you’re right - bi erasure sure is sneaky!!! Britney Spears had a huge influence on me as well.
I have to say... only us 80s-90s kids know the true pain of wearing biker shorts 😄
I literally just found a pic of me wearing them. 😂🤣🤙
haha yesss!! gotta love those biker shorts!
Born in '92. I also lived in biker shorts for a while! I wouldn't wear a skirt without them! Not that I liked skirts much anyway. Bermuda shorts all the way!
@@RatsPicklesandMusic oh my, bermuda shorts!!!! I forgot about those gems!!!
@@RatsPicklesandMusic
Bermuda shorts 🩳!!! 😃
Bermuda shorts are so awesome!!
Literally I had same signs specially that first one , I am a cisgender male but i also have a lot of feminine aspects along with so many masculine aspects people would sometime call me a little girly or something in a friendly way tho and I would never pay attention to it , I even had a physical experience with a boy of my class and also many girlfriends after that in school still didn't payed any attention to those signs and years later I understand why it happened with me
Thanks for this video
Really resonated with me a lot 💗💜💙
Thank you for sharing and relating. So important to know we are not alone 💜💜💜✨
I love this video. You're awesome!
I can relate to a lot of this.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jennica.
I feel this a lot as someone who only in recent years recognised I was non-binary and bisexual. That feeling of a younger you climbing out that you were not able nurture. In some ways it can feel like a puberty you were not able to have when you were a teenager. The sort of thing you would have looked at your peers and think you are not like that.
Absolutely. A puberty you were not able to have - that resonates with me so much.
My entire childhood was a sign of me being bisexual i always knew i was bisexual but i was too ashamed of myself but now i love being who i truly am
Is the childhood obsession with matchy matchy crew and jogger sweatsuits bi culture?! I had the same thing! And tie die t-shirt and shorts set for summer. Fruit of the Loom baby!
Also Kate Hudson in the yellow gown in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck had me *worried* I was a lesbian... But I also really really wanted boys...
I mean, I'm not gonna say it's not because it's my favorite. Now I feel like it's very popular, so maybe more people are bi than we think!! lol
I am so glad I came across this lovely video!! It is so encouraging and affirming, and I relate to so much of what you shared. I love the home video clips and how you’re honoring your younger self. I also got Mister Rogers vibes towards the end, which is awesome because he’s one of my very favorite bisexual people 💗💜💙
How did you just give me the best compliment, perhaps of my LIFE?!?! Haha thank you so much for watching. I'm glad this was affirming for you!!! Keep on keepin on!
My father said he knew I was bi when as a child I was greatly offended that I would not be allowed to have my choice of a husband or wife because “I couldn’t predict the future & didn’t know who I would fall in love with”
When same sex marriage became legal he called me & said “now you can have your choice” & I said “but what if I want one of each?”
I’ve always been his impossible child
I love that so much!
First time watcher and commenter! Just have to say, You ALL are so brave for being you and living your lives. Its like peaking through blind shades lol
As a fellow bi who grew up in Boise, Idaho, thank you.
Well heyyyyy!!!!! Thank you! Wow I feel so seen now 💜
Holy crap, the hatred of pink. I went through a period of hating anything I found to be high fem. Pink, purple, rhinestones, butterflies, dragonflies, dresses/skirts, and I would REFUSE to wear them. It had more to do with my gender than sexuality though. I also stopped using girl and went by tomboy, which allowed me to behave in feminine and masculine ways even though I was still treated like a girl.
I love your hair Jennica. It fits your beautiful face perfectly! You're very good at describing how bisexuals feel. I graduated from being bi to being lesbian in my journey so I find lesbians more intriguing. No offence to bisexuals, I've loved several, but I've moved on. I applaud your courage and devotion to educating others, and helping them feel accepted. Your beautiful and I would totally date you! 😊
I’m only 15 and within the first 5-6 minutes I’ve related so much 😭. I was super girly and loved pink when I was really little to around age 7 and then once I hit 3rd grade I was kinda turning into the complete opposite, I didn’t wanna wear dresses I “hated” pink but I’d still do things like play with barbies and stuff 😂. Now I look back on it, I was honestly just exploring myself and technically still am. Now I’m in 10th grade and I’m proud of how far I’ve come! 💗💜💙
I'm so proud of you too!!!!!! So amazing to be this self aware in 10th grade. Huge congratulations for doing that exploring!!!! Yes!!!!
ding ding ding! This was soo me. I am so so happy I accepted the truth in my early-mid 20s and gave validation to all of those feelings I had buried in the past. Keep being you!
Yes I’m so happy you did too!!! Keep being YOU! 💫
I Always wore cuffed jeans,beanies,caps,vans and tucked shirts even before I knew it was a bisexual stereotype
Same! Haha 😆
I've recently realized I'm not straight and the signs from the past are so funny now, how could I disregard them. Some of them:
-i was obsessed with watching bollywood movies because girls were so pretty, especially aishwarya rai whom i painted around 20 times
-I would get extremely shy around pretty girls and start blushing
-I haven't been interested in any men(expect for kylo ren for some reason) and i don't like how men look shirtless
- I watched one tik tok od a girl on different outfits on a daily basis many times in a row because I found her pretty
But i was CONVINCED I was straight because I was christian and I thought it's impossible 😆 (what's even more interesting how delusional I've been, I've been asked by multiple people if I were a lesbian (including my boyfriend at the time and my family members), I'm just impressed by my ability to lie to myself
We’re all so good at lying to ourselves huh?!? I’m not as good at it now thankfully 💪🏼