My husband and I got married six weeks after we met. Our ceremony was in a garden in front of the Santa Barbara Courthouse. The costs included the marriage license ($75), minister ($50) two wedding bands (his was $60, mine was $50). I wore a dress that I had bought for $20 two years earlier (never worn because it felt too fancy for ordinary occasions). I bought a $10 pair of sandals for the wedding. My parents, brother, and in-laws attended. My dad walked me down the “aisle”. My father-in-law took us all out to dinner at a restaurant on the pier. Next month we will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary. And we’re still on our honeymoon! 😊
Congratulations on your long and happy marriage. My husband and I have been marries over 7 years now. Everything for our wedding cost less than £1000. In Britain at that time most weddings cost between £20,000 and £25,000. Like you we are very happy.
I love every bit of this!!!!! My favorite quote was “you should spend just as much time in premarital counseling as you do planning your wedding”. That’s a mic drop.
We were married in my church and had the reception in the church basement. Finger sandwiches, Italian anise cookies, ouch and coffee, and wedding cake were served. The food was prepared by the Mothers Club of the church and the gorgeous cake was made by my mother's friend who was a cake decorating instructor. The band was three friends who had just started playing together but were really good. My dress was a fire sale rescue I paid $5.00 for! I made my own veil. Did the vows stick? You bet they did. We had our 59th anniversary a couple of weeks ago!!
We had a tiny garden ceremony on a Sunday afternoon with less than 20 guests and no reception. We’d had to cancel our big wedding due to everything going on in 2020/2021. I think it’s one of the few good things to come out of those years. Microweddings and elopements became more popular. Even though we lost out on so much money with all our deposits, I am sooo happy we chose to do a small wedding instead. It was a surprise how peaceful everything felt. No stress over coordinating bridal parties or vendors running late or going into debt over centerpieces. I still had my lovely dress and bouquet. Our guests enjoyed coffee and tiny desserts. And a few lanterns were the only decor we added to the beautiful flowers in the garden. All with our wonderful photographer. A sweet, serene day with just the two of us and our closest friends and family celebrating love together
My fiancé and I are about three months away from our wedding. We have been so excited but I have felt overwhelmed and judged by some people for wanting to have a smaller, inexpensive wedding. Our budget is $5,000 or less! I wish I had a more fun wedding planning process but it has been filled with a lot of comparison, judgement, and extreme overwhelm. Staying strong in my Christian faith, preparing for the actual marriage, and aiming for simple living in my life has helped me get through. Thank you so much for this video!
Most of that $5,000 or less is mostly for the food, guest accommodations since we have a lot of out of town guests, and the photographer. But other than that we are keeping it inexpensive.
Hang in there! We had huge judgement from people who were angry that we weren't having an expensive wedding, but we had no regrets about choosing a simpler celebration.
I heard some good wedding advice, that you want to make it easy for your guests to be glad you're getting married. We did a few things toward that end, and none of them required much money.
My parents were married during the war, 1942. My mother bought a very pretty burgundy dress that she still wore after having two children. It’s now on a mannequin in my house. They went to the minister’s house on a Friday evening with my dad’s brother and sister as witnesses. The only regret my mom had was that there were no pictures. They were married for 67 years until my dad passed away in 2010. My mom followed him seven years later. They were wonderful parents and had a wonderful marriage. We should all be so blessed.
One of the best weddings I ever went to had no attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen). It was so refreshing that the bride and groom had enough sense to say "Hey, this day is about us!" No extra expenses for them or their friends/family.
If you know anyone who is planning a simple wedding, please encourage them by telling them how great you think that is. I was shocked by the pushback we got for planning a simple wedding, and it was exhausting standing up against the constant pressure. I don't know if people who had/want to have expensive weddings feel threatened by those who don't, but there is HUGE pressure to conform. We were even called 'selfish' for not splashing the cash on expensive items we didn't want! We stuck to what we wanted and got married very simply and cheaply (in 2020) and the only thing we regretted was that some of our loved ones were unable to attend our wedding in person due to Covid restrictions.
I think i was honestly very blessed to get married during covid, we had already planned a fairly simple wedding, but with covid it had to be even simpler. It put the focus of the day on the promise we were making to each other and to God.
Honestly it’s Instagram that’s played a huge part in this. Everyone wants to show off online. It’s not even for them anymore but what everyone online will say about it. It’s so sad.
I’m of Pakistani descent and it’s sad that large and excessive weddings have become the norm. The phrase “what will others say” has unfortunately infiltrated the minds of many. I hope to find a woman who shares the vision of embracing the simple things in life. Not a life of collecting shiny toys and the attention of people. Knowing that the life we have on this earth is incredibly short and all we will have left at the end of it is the memories we shared with the ones we loved.
You are so right about all of this! What also shocks me is how much money members of the wedding party are now expected to spend between expensive dresses and gifts, there are parties, weekends away and in some cases flights to destination weddings! I know young women who get into debt themselves over someone else’s wedding. It’s madness.
My daughter is going through this. Also, the bride deciding where the wedding party stays yet the girls all have to split the cost vs a few each getting a room at an Econo Lodge type hotel. My daughter was crying the prior week due to finding out the bride had a bridal party and a set request from her bridal party registry. Most items were $100.
I was planning a simple, inexpensive wedding. But the marriage itself was a bad idea, so I called off the engagement. Saving ourselves from an unhappy marriage: priceless.
My husband and I paid for our own wedding. My mother in law tried her hardest to expand but that was the only conflict. I even made mine and the bridesmaid dresses. Our wedding pictures were beautiful with the background of a large Montana field and the expansive big sky. The photographer submitted a photo of us and won first prize in the annual contest. He was so thrilled with the honor that he gave us the wall portrait for free. Simple is always best.
As someone who has hosted over 300 weddings, I will vouch for everything you’ve said. The loveliest wedding we’ve had, the bride made the wedding cake & simple table arrangements with wildflowers, her mother made the gowns, her father was the photographer, & groom’s parents prepared a taco buffet. *I recommend not catering your own wedding, it’s exhausting, time consuming, & too many things can go wrong. Hire a food truck, if it’s an outdoor wedding. The most extravagant wedding the bride had 33 pages of instructions for her friends & family to follow with two U-Hauls of decorations (& then some… I think she written down her every whim since the age of 12). Everyone was pooped long before the nuptials. Pack up was left for the elders, which took over 3 hours. No one was happy.
We eloped to Virginia. We are military, and had many friends who were stationed there. So we went and got our license and hired the JP to show up at 6 PM. We called our friends and told them we were coming over. They called the rest of our friends and told them to get over to their house. We stopped and bought beer and ordered pizzas. Everybody got together, thinking we were just going to have a nice evening visiting. Doorbell rang at 6 PM and the JP arrived. She came in and we said surprise we’re getting married. Will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this summer.
My husband and I eloped before our "big wedding" the next month (so my grandfather who wasn't ordained could lead the ceremony). We did City Hall with parents and my grandfather + lunch afterwards. We realized too late (Big wedding paid for and could no longer cancel) that we would have been just as happy with skipping the wedding entirely and doing just the elopement.
Great advice. Your wedding looked beautiful and I'm sure your wife was happy that you wouldn't have changed anything. We also kept our wedding simple. I paid $50 for my dress from a consignment store and it was just fine. I couldn't justify spending thousands on a dress worn for just a few hours. My bridesmaids picked out dresses that they liked and could wear over and over again. We had a $1500 limit and paid for everything ourselves. It was lovely and we still get compliments from guests 37 years later. Keep it simple, you won't have regrets.
100 percent true!!!. In my home country, every penny is spent by the bride’s parents, in a lot of cases by borrowing heavily. The weddings are multi day affairs with more and more ridiculous newly invented rituals., over the top decorations, photo shoots, 20-course meals, and lots of jewelry, clothes and gifts for every guest that attends( especially the groom’s), etc. In the end, the groom’s family has a multi-page list of complaints. I can’t even think of how much money is spent on ridiculous clothes, most of which can’t be worn on a daily basis. The few people that defy this trend are ridiculed. As a woman who is against this tradition, I was beyond sad that my parents had to waste so much money and I couldn’t do anything. I have promised myself to never repeat those mistakes and would rather put that money for a home down payment or something of that sort.
Tradition and customs do put great pressure on people. I'm sorry your family felt that but I'm glad that you have the courage to change that for future generations.
We had a micro wedding in Montecito, California, with six meaningful guests and two removed family members who crashed our event (which we were fine with). We chose a beautiful venue for $500 and the dinner was just about the same cost. Also, my ring, which I love, was $750. We were all in at about $3k (about 1/2 of our monthly salaries combined at that time) . We have beautiful pictures, great memories, and I think the frugality early on set the right tone for a healthy partnership based on our love first and foremost. ❤️🙏🏻
I'm not the ceremony type. We went to the county courthouse, were married by a judge. My husband joked I could run whilst i still had the chance and he wouldn't blame me. They got two gals from the office as our witnesses. The judge said it's one of the more fun jobs he gets to do, and the witness ladies giggled a little. Was lovely to us. It lasted until death. Hoopla doesn't guarantee anything but a big financial hardship, stress 💐
Congratulations! Don't give in to the pressure. Decide on what is important to you (and your budget!) and stick to it. We found it was easier the less we shared with others - if they don't know what you are planning, they can't argue with it! For example, I made the mistake of telling someone I wasn't having a veil (in my view, an unnecessary expense) and I had weeks of fending off arguments about it because 'you can't be properly married without a veil.'!
I guess it depends. I was married 24 years ago. The wedding was $10,000. Which is around $17,000 in 2024 money. Had 150 guests. Got married at 11:30 am at our church then went to the reception venue for brunch. Received a lot of compliments from guests loving having breakfast foods at a wedding. Had music, dancing, huge cake. (I paid for the wedding with no parents help… was 36) and Hubby paid for honeymoon (two weeks in England). I still think about the great time we had at the wedding. Only thing I would change would be to not have a videographer. I thought we would watch it every year but except when we are saying our vows it is pretty boring to just watch. Also, I had no debt but my house and the money for the wedding saved in the bank. I think not going into debt might make all the difference between enjoying and stressing.
Joshua, 1st of all...your hair looks awesome! 2nd of all...AMEN! We literally didn't spend hardly anything on our wedding & we will be celebrating 25 yrs this Aug. I told someone last wk, if we had it to do over, I would make it even more sinple. Great video. 😊
My wedding was 13 years ago, we had a simple ceremony, but we had a great Honeymoon 😊 because we decided to spend on Honeymoon trip for three weeks rather than a wedding itself❤ and I am happy we did that, now we have great memories 🎉
Wow. The industry really makes money off of people. I think it's better when people go in with a blank slate and only buy what they feel they need for that day. Or elope lol. That forced sweating of the small stuff has always bugged me.
Love this video! We got married seven years ago, had about 120 guests, and our ENTIRE wedding cost about $8,000 *including* the cost of the engagement ring, wedding bands, AND honeymoon flights. We were able to keep it low because of the amount of people in our community who offered to help us with things... From hair to cooking to music to photography. We spent a little extra on things that mattered to us, like making sure we rented reusable dishware instead of buying disposable. We found an ethical engagement ring for less than a thousand, my dress was purchased second hand, and we got flowers from Trader Joe's for the bouquet. I love that our wedding was such a demonstration of not just our love, but the love of the people in our lives. It was beautiful and actually so fun to plan!
What ever happened to cake and punch? I think it is ridiculous to be expected to pay for dinner for everyone! If you are going to spend $35,000 spend 10,000 on the wedding and give the couple $25,000 towards a home.
I was excited to see this video! We’re having a small close family wedding ceremony this summer combined with a once in a lifetime holiday to America! I’m going to rewatch this to keep my perspective, thank you Joshua! 💒🌸🩷
I love what one mother of seven daughters ( all married now!) said helps her keep her priorities set: “At the end of the day, there are only three questions that I just want to be able to answer affirmatively: 1.) Are the bride & groom married? 2.) Did God show up too? 3.) We’re our guests cared for? If all three are “yess’s- then the day was a success.” What a wise lady! And how I appreciate your wisdom too, Mr. Becker!
I got married at the justice of the peace and my only regret is that I didn't have a pretty dress. Even a simple one would have been nice. BUT we used our wedding money to buy furniture for our house.
Saving that money in order to start a family or a security fund to start marital life is more useful I think. Never underestimate the money factor in a marriage. It s a killer if finances are a struggle. In my family, the trend among the newly wed is not only we pay for everything ( food, chateau, accommodation for the 3 days, international flights etc..) but also wedding presents that they would nicely put on a fancy website. The latest was a honeymoon to Japan. We had to choose what present we want to buy them e.g. the plane ticket, the kimonos for the tea ceremony, the tea ceremony, the ticket from Tokyo to Kyoto, etc... etc...as for me, I sent them my love and all the very best for their new life together.
I do think a wedding is the day you should invite everyone you know, don't go small IMO, but that doesn't mean you have to spend alot. Cake and punch is fine, there is no reason a beautiful big wedding should cost more than a few thousand dollars.
We had a very small wedding: 7 guests, coffee and cake 120€. My dress: 60€, wedding ring: inherited, flowers: 35€. Plus invitation/thank you cards and some small things. Photographer 100€. It was a small, funny wedding. The divorce was more expensive...
Yes!! I agree with everything you said. We had a tiny wedding and I made all the things for it, then had the party in our garden after the ceremony in our lovely local church. The whole thing cost £1500 with our Honeymoon. Wouldn't change it a bit ♡ My dress alone cost £75 with my mum paying half. Everyone thought it was vintage and it wasn't, it was just a vintage style pretty white lace dress. I was inspired even more to keep it simple after talking to an older lady in church, who told me at her wedding it was raining and after the ceremony her and her husband went home and sat together infront of the fire and chatted the evening away. Not everyone should feel like they need to spend money to make it a special day. Thank you Joshua for all your videos ♡
Yes! Our wedding was less than $1,000 in 1997. A simple church, homemade touches, a friend photographer, a clearance dress. A cookout at the park for a reception. We were only 19 & 21, broke college students who loved the Lord. I don't regret a thing!
The nicest wedding I ever attended was to a couple who had just 40 guests, the meal was on a long table in the dinning room, were we all sat next to someone we didn't know which encourage conversation, the food delicious, a personal, intimate time had by all. This wedding described was over 15 or more years ago and I've never forgotten it.❤
We had a small wedding with 85 guests. We had a great time and it was very simple. We didn’t go into debt for it. 32 years later, I don’t regret anything we did. Still very happily married! Thanks for such good advice. 💚💚💚
Many of my friends and relatives got married in their 20’s. A few of them were divorced within a few years so I decided to take my time before I would get married. After a few relationships, I met a nice woman with a great saoul. We got married before family and friends after 18 months of relationship. That was 18 years ago. It was a simple wedding but at a beautiful riverfront manoir. Guests were on site for a simple ceremony followed by a delicious meal a wine. We had about 50 guests, the whole wedding cost $5,000 but most guests sent money so we broke even. It was a beautiful sunny day in late May. I love my wife and I hope we’ll have many beautiful more years together.
When my husband and I married in 1967 we had a simple wedding that cost us $500. A friend who married at the same time had a wedding that cost $3000. That sounds cheap but if you consider at the time men were making less than $10,000 per year you can get some perspective. Assuming that money doubles every 14 years ( at 5%) that $500 wedding would be $8000 today and that $3000 one would be $48,000. Both my son and daughter got married in 2007. They had destination weddings that were the absolute best. The daughter had been living in San Diego at the time and a wedding there would have been over $20000. They married in Costa Rica for about $5000. 32 people came to their wedding and we celebrated for the entire week. Everyone arrived on Saturday but the wedding was not until the following Friday. Every day we had fun exploring the sights and doing fun things around Arenal. The resort or hotel accommodations were $25-125 per night and a full meal cost $5. Our flight was only slightly more than it would have cost to fly to CA. The son got married in the Bahamas and again it was 1 week of fun with everyone after the wedding. There is no doubt in my mind that a destination wedding is the best.
I'm Amish the most expensive wedding I've attended is $250 one Amishman nearly fainted when he heard how much it was. One said his was $167 another $123 n another $97 n the last $67 they all said how can he afford it. The wedding is conducted in the church/,meeting house. The head of each church has a Bishop with 2 preachers n a Deacon. The Bishop conducts the ceremony. The decorations are done by the young girls n boys. The reception is held at the local firehall where most are volunteers. The cake is baked by the ladies in the church. The food is made by the boys n girls n the church n ladies and normally sandwiches like ham n cheese n chips. Etc. Gifts are pragmatic like a big jug of laundry detergent or 6 days work on their farm or property. Or whatever. That's the way to keep expenses down n make it more enjoyable n memorable. Everyone is involved in this in one way or another. .maybe more couples should marry with an Amish theme not only saving money which could b put to other things bills a house or whatever. Make it more memorable.the average cost of a modern wedding is $35000 versus $250 or less and u r just as married maybe more so.by the 250. Less stress. The wedding planners only want to milk every dollar they can out of u n could care less. About any financial stress they've put on anyone and if it helps add to a divorce they got theirs so what. My parents were married in 1938 by a justice of the peace for $10 and their marriage lasted till Moms death in 1983. PRAY
My daughter is a bridesmaid in a wedding. The obligation financially is very stressful. She called me crying the last week, as she was going to the friend's bridal party and didn't realize she needed to bring a gift there also (in addition to the wedding and a separate bridal function). She said most of the gifts given exceeded $100. A distant relative married recently. It took two years to plan the wedding. It was held in NY and was so large and expensive. I know that her dad (my cousin) can not afford that and has health issues. They already have children and are a younger couple. I'm all for people enjoying what they can afford and it's their decision what type of wedding. However, I hope they didn't go into massive debt to entertain people.
Married at a friends lake house. My ring $299. (last year lost a stone and it was $700 to repair) Did not reach our honeymoon destination New Orleans. Stopped for the night at Natchitoches, Louisiana. Town was so beautiful we cancelled New Orleans. This is year 25.
I’m not American but it’s a booming industry here too. My husband and I spent about USD 2k on our wedding including rings and a buffet lunch for our 15 guests including us. 😍
Thank you for sharing this important topic! Well done! My husband and I were married in 2004 and I was determined to have a minimal ceremony after experiencing the stress and regret around extravagance of many of my family members after their weddings. It seemed the stress was often circled around food - whether pot luck or catered by the plate. I found that a 3pm ceremony at a rocky beach on a sunny day with only cake and punch to be the perfect kickoff to our marriage!
We married in our backyard in 2002. People who see photos of the wedding( that a co-worker took ) think it was in a park. I never want to move and hope my kids will marry here too.
Great advice. I grew up in the 1980's and it was terrible, so many bridesmaids/gentlemen, parents taking a 2nd mortgage to give their only daughter the extravagant wedding. All I could think of was How can so many people decide to start their lives together with financial burdens. Back then people did not live together in fornication usually, even if they did fornicate. Now you wonder why are they even doing a wedding, is it all a show?
I’m so happy I married the love of my life and we did so in a quiet and a peaceful fashion, which are both our style. We prepared for 70 guests. Morning event. We had pizza for lunch at a restaurant across the church❤ But I agree that no matter how we made it simple, we were still both deliriously tired by 3pm. I cannot imagine if it was in anyway more extravagant. In hindsight, it’s pleasing to watch this video and I couldn’t agree more with every bit of it. Marriage takes work and some seasons will require more work. It’s best to prepare for it than the wedding day. ❤ Thanks for this vidoe, Joshua! Nice hair, btw!
Cuanfo me casé, hace mas de 25 años, usé el vestido de novia de mi mamá, y solo invitamos a familia amistades cercanas, así que pudimos hacer la comida en mi casa, solo contratamos un grupo de cuerdas, mesas, sillas, mantelería y el servicio de comida... así que no fue caro.
I am a recently ordained metaphysical minister registered to perform weddings. I have decided that I will specialize in smaller more intimate weddings for many of the reasons you mentioned: a more relaxed couple, more attentive guests, less pressure on everyone to marvel at an expensive event, and primarily from my perspective - the opportunity for the couple to fully enjoy their simple day with the people who matter most to them.
Totally Agree! We had a wedding that cost under $1,000, including the reception! We rented a cliffside ”park” overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Laguna Beach , CA. for $15.00, bought a cake for $25.00 that we made sure not to identify as a wedding cake to the bakery, which is key, bought an off- white raw silk dress with pearls that looked like a wedding dress for $295 from a regular store called Cache’ ( probably no longer around) NOT A WEDDING DRESS STORE , which at almost $300 was an unneeded extravagance and I’m sure you could go cheaper, I made my vail for five dollars, my grandfather did the flowers for $10, since he was a florist, and my husband jazzed up a black suit he had already . The reception was at a little place, called The Cottage , a charming little white house with hardwood floors near the beach, where we had a brunch with three choices of highly affordable dishes. They printed out our little menu on colored paper and treated it just like a large party of people , again, NOT a wedding . As soon asyou say the world word “wedding”, the price goes up by 10 or 20 times .The wedding party was small, and only around 20 people, so, of course, a larger group would be more to feed. My husband worked with a photographer, who did the pictures for free, and they turned out gorgeous. We just had to pay for the expense of printing them, which wasn’t much. My parents gift was two tickets to Maui, and since my husband worked for Westin, the hotel was free .I think you could do it for even less, people. ❤😊
Totally agree. I always said I want a simple wedding and to enjoy our honeymoon even more with all the money we saved on the wedding( within reason, of course). Thanks for sharing photos of your wedding. So adorable.
My husband and I eloped in 1993 in a blizzard. It was a great wedding day. My daughter is getting married in two months, and it is the perfect minimalism wedding. Did I go a little Etsy crazy? Yes, I did with some items but the Restore has been my go to place. Tons of silk flowers and wedding decor at the Restore. Cannot beat it!
All of this so very true. I wish the young kids getting married today could see this video. I'm afraid, as you said, that competition drives so much of the elaborate wedding fuss of today, not to mention thr pre-wedding trips of the perfect engagement video/photos, bridesmaids trip, groomsmen trip, on and on. I plan on showing this video to my 23 yr old son. Thank you!
I believe social media is the cause for younger people wanting extravagant or destination weddings. They also feel they have to compete with friends and family. Honestly, most guys probably couldn't care less but they have to meet their girls' expectations.
Totally agree! Our wedding cost $600, including the wedding rings! I wore a friend’s dress, our flowers were a gift, our cake was half price as a gift. Our one regret was not using a professional photographer. Our pictures were done by a friend & obviously amateur- shadows on faces, hair out of place… Still, we’re happily married after 37 years. God is good! ❤
🙏 Amen !!! 🙏 Preach it Becker 💗 love this video 💕 I have been preaching this to my now grown kids since they were young . Now, on to sharing this video .
From our perspective, simple weddings are best. Less money is wasted, so more funds are available to start your life together. Our love is what matters, not the decorations. We were married on the side of a mountain in the snow with both families present. It was incredible.
After she herself got married, a young woman I know gave advice to another young woman planning her wedding: "Throw away all the brides' magazines!" I also am against destination weddings. Don't expect guests to spend thousands of dollars to travel to some exotic location to watch you get married. Keep it local.
I got married at the city hall, just with our parents and brothers, we had lunch at a restaurant and went home, no party, no gifts, no honeymoon, no engagement party, no wedding dress, just normal clothes... but we've been together for 11 years, no money problems, so it works
I would never ever go into debt for a wedding. I have seen family members from my husband's side of the family (it is extremely prevalent in certain non-western cultures. In this case, Sri Lankan) spend £60,000 on a wedding. They had huge fights about the money they had to loan beforehand, and I am pretty sure, lots of financial trouble afterwards. I will never be able to relate. We spent €5000 total. That includes travelling to another city hall outside of the country we live in (we had to, for certain reasons), our rings, clothing, food at a restaurant for 50 people and our honeymoon to Turkey. Decor for our wedding all came from the dollar store.
I got married in 1970 and made my gown and veil...the gown was a VOGUE pattern. Total cost - $50. I didn’t want an Engagement Ring, and our Wedding Bands were plain gold. We got married in his family's small church and had a reception dinner at a local Italian restaurant. Only family and close friends were there. It was simple and just right for us.
My husband and I eloped in Las Vegas with my 16 YO son on 2.22.22. We spent $1,500 total on all our clothing, the accommodations, the wedding ceremony, photography and food over the weekend. I did my own hair and makeup. Zero regrets, best $1,500 ever spent!
My husband and I spent a little over $1000 for our wedding. That includes the dress, the rings, the venue, everything. Probably our biggest expense was for the food at the reception. It was honestly kind of a fun challenge to see how much we could save by borrowing, thrifting, and DIYing the things for our wedding.
Such a great topic to cover Joshua! My son had a city hall wedding and simple dinner afterwards with only 16 family/friends, no stress, no fuss and done! That was 7 years ago and they wouldn't have change anything! They saved their money to travel to Europe.
My husband and I had just our immediate family for a small ceremony at our church. We had a catered family dinner at his parents house afterward. Wouldn’t change a thing. ❤️
Yes, sir! Being in my early thirties, I witnessed my friends having larvish weddings with everything imaginable. So there was room for competition. My husband and I decided to have a small wedding with 10 family members each and had a small reception at a restaurant. Because of this, we were able to go on our dream honeymoon on a South African safari! Best decision ever! Also, we still use the few floral decorations we had at the church ceremony in our home. 😊😊
I’ve been to extravagant weddings and one intimate simple wedding. I had more fun, and was extremely relaxed at the intimate wedding. They only had close family and very close friends. It was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to. My soon to be daughters in law want a small intimate wedding as well. 😅
We had a tiny wedding ceremony down at the registry office with 4 witnesses. After that we had lunch at a restaurant, it was a very happy day. We were married for 37 years until my husband passed recently. Huge expensive weddings don't necessarily guarantee a happy marriage.
At my high school prom, I met my friend’s fiancé. A few years later when I went to open an account at a local bank, I saw my friend again because she worked there. As we were finishing up with my account, I asked her how things were going on her end. She told me that she had just gotten married and that they placed the wedding expenses on a credit card. That was the first time I ever heard about a big party being placed on credit.
Wow what’s a great thinking of you. Iam going to be minimalist following you thankyou so much for your great thinking searing to us it’s a great for me
Unless you have it, it seems a waste for a few hours. And who really looks at the pictures after a few weeks? Maybe on aniv? My girls would much rather have some money to save and put toward home one day. I hope they continue to want that ; )
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My husband and I got married six weeks after we met. Our ceremony was in a garden in front of the Santa Barbara Courthouse. The costs included the marriage license ($75), minister ($50) two wedding bands (his was $60, mine was $50).
I wore a dress that I had bought for $20 two years earlier (never worn because it felt too fancy for ordinary occasions). I bought a $10 pair of sandals for the wedding.
My parents, brother, and in-laws attended. My dad walked me down the “aisle”.
My father-in-law took us all out to dinner at a restaurant on the pier.
Next month we will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary. And we’re still on our honeymoon! 😊
I live in Santa Barbara; great location choice!
@@laurenroberts1812 It was lovely!
Congratulations on your long and happy marriage.
My husband and I have been marries over 7 years now. Everything for our wedding cost less than £1000. In Britain at that time most weddings cost between £20,000 and £25,000. Like you we are very happy.
I love every bit of this!!!!! My favorite quote was “you should spend just as much time in premarital counseling as you do planning your wedding”. That’s a mic drop.
We were married in my church and had the reception in the church basement. Finger sandwiches, Italian anise cookies, ouch and coffee, and wedding cake were served. The food was prepared by the Mothers Club of the church and the gorgeous cake was made by my mother's friend who was a cake decorating instructor. The band was three friends who had just started playing together but were really good. My dress was a fire sale rescue I paid $5.00 for! I made my own veil. Did the vows stick? You bet they did. We had our 59th anniversary a couple of weeks ago!!
That should be PUNCH and coffee. LOL Don't you just love autocorrect?
❤
Love that! I grew up attending those church weddings, and they were beautiful! Deeply missed having a church committee help with mine.
Perfect wedding!
We had a tiny garden ceremony on a Sunday afternoon with less than 20 guests and no reception. We’d had to cancel our big wedding due to everything going on in 2020/2021. I think it’s one of the few good things to come out of those years. Microweddings and elopements became more popular. Even though we lost out on so much money with all our deposits, I am sooo happy we chose to do a small wedding instead. It was a surprise how peaceful everything felt. No stress over coordinating bridal parties or vendors running late or going into debt over centerpieces. I still had my lovely dress and bouquet. Our guests enjoyed coffee and tiny desserts. And a few lanterns were the only decor we added to the beautiful flowers in the garden. All with our wonderful photographer. A sweet, serene day with just the two of us and our closest friends and family celebrating love together
My fiancé and I are about three months away from our wedding. We have been so excited but I have felt overwhelmed and judged by some people for wanting to have a smaller, inexpensive wedding. Our budget is $5,000 or less! I wish I had a more fun wedding planning process but it has been filled with a lot of comparison, judgement, and extreme overwhelm. Staying strong in my Christian faith, preparing for the actual marriage, and aiming for simple living in my life has helped me get through. Thank you so much for this video!
Most of that $5,000 or less is mostly for the food, guest accommodations since we have a lot of out of town guests, and the photographer. But other than that we are keeping it inexpensive.
Hang in there! We had huge judgement from people who were angry that we weren't having an expensive wedding, but we had no regrets about choosing a simpler celebration.
Tel them it's the marriage. Not the wedding.
Good for you! Wise moves like this will pay off for your future together! Best wishes!
I heard some good wedding advice, that you want to make it easy for your guests to be glad you're getting married. We did a few things toward that end, and none of them required much money.
My parents were married during the war, 1942. My mother bought a very pretty burgundy dress that she still wore after having two children. It’s now on a mannequin in my house. They went to the minister’s house on a Friday evening with my dad’s brother and sister as witnesses. The only regret my mom had was that there were no pictures. They were married for 67 years until my dad passed away in 2010. My mom followed him seven years later. They were wonderful parents and had a wonderful marriage. We should all be so blessed.
One of the best weddings I ever went to had no attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen). It was so refreshing that the bride and groom had enough sense to say "Hey, this day is about us!" No extra expenses for them or their friends/family.
If you know anyone who is planning a simple wedding, please encourage them by telling them how great you think that is. I was shocked by the pushback we got for planning a simple wedding, and it was exhausting standing up against the constant pressure. I don't know if people who had/want to have expensive weddings feel threatened by those who don't, but there is HUGE pressure to conform. We were even called 'selfish' for not splashing the cash on expensive items we didn't want!
We stuck to what we wanted and got married very simply and cheaply (in 2020) and the only thing we regretted was that some of our loved ones were unable to attend our wedding in person due to Covid restrictions.
I think i was honestly very blessed to get married during covid, we had already planned a fairly simple wedding, but with covid it had to be even simpler. It put the focus of the day on the promise we were making to each other and to God.
I LOVE YOUR NEW HAIRCUT!!
Ha, thanks.
That’s the first thing I noticed too. Haha
Yes, his hair is on point.
Joshua Becker for the win. I am a wedding vendor and think expensive, extravagant weddings are foolish.
Honestly it’s Instagram that’s played a huge part in this. Everyone wants to show off online. It’s not even for them anymore but what everyone online will say about it. It’s so sad.
I’m of Pakistani descent and it’s sad that large and excessive weddings have become the norm. The phrase “what will others say” has unfortunately infiltrated the minds of many. I hope to find a woman who shares the vision of embracing the simple things in life. Not a life of collecting shiny toys and the attention of people. Knowing that the life we have on this earth is incredibly short and all we will have left at the end of it is the memories we shared with the ones we loved.
She’s out there! Good things come to those who wait.
You are so right about all of this! What also shocks me is how much money members of the wedding party are now expected to spend between expensive dresses and gifts, there are parties, weekends away and in some cases flights to destination weddings! I know young women who get into debt themselves over someone else’s wedding. It’s madness.
My daughter is going through this. Also, the bride deciding where the wedding party stays yet the girls all have to split the cost vs a few each getting a room at an Econo Lodge type hotel. My daughter was crying the prior week due to finding out the bride had a bridal party and a set request from her bridal party registry. Most items were $100.
@@LA-wv7gf That is so sad to hear of your daughter being in tears about being put in one of these situations. It’s just out of control isn’t it.
Not to mention the strain it puts on family to show up looking and acting "the part". Thank you for putting the focus back on what matters.
I was planning a simple, inexpensive wedding. But the marriage itself was a bad idea, so I called off the engagement. Saving ourselves from an unhappy marriage: priceless.
A lot of what you say is simple common sense. I don't think common sense is something a lot of people have these days.
My husband and I paid for our own wedding. My mother in law tried her hardest to expand but that was the only conflict. I even made mine and the bridesmaid dresses. Our wedding pictures were beautiful with the background of a large Montana field and the expansive big sky. The photographer submitted a photo of us and won first prize in the annual contest. He was so thrilled with the honor that he gave us the wall portrait for free. Simple is always best.
As someone who has hosted over 300 weddings, I will vouch for everything you’ve said. The loveliest wedding we’ve had, the bride made the wedding cake & simple table arrangements with wildflowers, her mother made the gowns, her father was the photographer, & groom’s parents prepared a taco buffet. *I recommend not catering your own wedding, it’s exhausting, time consuming, & too many things can go wrong. Hire a food truck, if it’s an outdoor wedding.
The most extravagant wedding the bride had 33 pages of instructions for her friends & family to follow with two U-Hauls of decorations (& then some… I think she written down her every whim since the age of 12). Everyone was pooped long before the nuptials. Pack up was left for the elders, which took over 3 hours. No one was happy.
We eloped to Virginia. We are military, and had many friends who were stationed there. So we went and got our license and hired the JP to show up at 6 PM. We called our friends and told them we were coming over. They called the rest of our friends and told them to get over to their house. We stopped and bought beer and ordered pizzas. Everybody got together, thinking we were just going to have a nice evening visiting. Doorbell rang at 6 PM and the JP arrived. She came in and we said surprise we’re getting married. Will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this summer.
100% agree. Hope this is something more people will embrace. Also, like the haircut 😉
My husband and I eloped before our "big wedding" the next month (so my grandfather who wasn't ordained could lead the ceremony). We did City Hall with parents and my grandfather + lunch afterwards. We realized too late (Big wedding paid for and could no longer cancel) that we would have been just as happy with skipping the wedding entirely and doing just the elopement.
I’m about a micro wedding. We spent 500$ to get married back in 91. That included our rings. Here we are, still married…without spending a fortune.
Great advice. Your wedding looked beautiful and I'm sure your wife was happy that you wouldn't have changed anything.
We also kept our wedding simple. I paid $50 for my dress from a consignment store and it was just fine. I couldn't justify spending thousands on a dress worn for just a few hours. My bridesmaids picked out dresses that they liked and could wear over and over again. We had a $1500 limit and paid for everything ourselves. It was lovely and we still get compliments from guests 37 years later.
Keep it simple, you won't have regrets.
100 percent true!!!. In my home country, every penny is spent by the bride’s parents, in a lot of cases by borrowing heavily. The weddings are multi day affairs with more and more ridiculous newly invented rituals., over the top decorations, photo shoots, 20-course meals, and lots of jewelry, clothes and gifts for every guest that attends( especially the groom’s), etc.
In the end, the groom’s family has a multi-page list of complaints. I can’t even think of how much money is spent on ridiculous clothes, most of which can’t be worn on a daily basis. The few people that defy this trend are ridiculed. As a woman who is against this tradition, I was beyond sad that my parents had to waste so much money and I couldn’t do anything. I have promised myself to never repeat those mistakes and would rather put that money for a home down payment or something of that sort.
Tradition and customs do put great pressure on people. I'm sorry your family felt that but I'm glad that you have the courage to change that for future generations.
We had a micro wedding in Montecito, California, with six meaningful guests and two removed family members who crashed our event (which we were fine with). We chose a beautiful venue for $500 and the dinner was just about the same cost. Also, my ring, which I love, was $750. We were all in at about $3k (about 1/2 of our monthly salaries combined at that time) . We have beautiful pictures, great memories, and I think the frugality early on set the right tone for a healthy partnership based on our love first and foremost. ❤️🙏🏻
I'm not the ceremony type. We went to the county courthouse, were married by a judge. My husband joked I could run whilst i still had the chance and he wouldn't blame me. They got two gals from the office as our witnesses. The judge said it's one of the more fun jobs he gets to do, and the witness ladies giggled a little. Was lovely to us. It lasted until death. Hoopla doesn't guarantee anything but a big financial hardship, stress 💐
I needed this so bad. I’m planning my wedding right now and I don’t want to spend a lot but I still want it memorable. Thank you!! ❤
Congratulations!
Congratulations! Same here! My parents want a big wedding reception, I don't.
@@WorrierKitten congratulations!! 🎉 me too. I just want something simple, but even simple can cost a lot unless you know someone with a big backyard
@@JoshuaBecker thank you!!
Congratulations! Don't give in to the pressure. Decide on what is important to you (and your budget!) and stick to it. We found it was easier the less we shared with others - if they don't know what you are planning, they can't argue with it! For example, I made the mistake of telling someone I wasn't having a veil (in my view, an unnecessary expense) and I had weeks of fending off arguments about it because 'you can't be properly married without a veil.'!
I guess it depends. I was married 24 years ago. The wedding was $10,000. Which is around $17,000 in 2024 money. Had 150 guests. Got married at 11:30 am at our church then went to the reception venue for brunch. Received a lot of compliments from guests loving having breakfast foods at a wedding. Had music, dancing, huge cake. (I paid for the wedding with no parents help… was 36) and Hubby paid for honeymoon (two weeks in England). I still think about the great time we had at the wedding. Only thing I would change would be to not have a videographer. I thought we would watch it every year but except when we are saying our vows it is pretty boring to just watch. Also, I had no debt but my house and the money for the wedding saved in the bank. I think not going into debt might make all the difference between enjoying and stressing.
Joshua, 1st of all...your hair looks awesome! 2nd of all...AMEN! We literally didn't spend hardly anything on our wedding & we will be celebrating 25 yrs this Aug. I told someone last wk, if we had it to do over, I would make it even more sinple. Great video. 😊
My wedding was 13 years ago, we had a simple ceremony, but we had a great Honeymoon 😊 because we decided to spend on Honeymoon trip for three weeks rather than a wedding itself❤ and I am happy we did that, now we have great memories 🎉
Wow. The industry really makes money off of people. I think it's better when people go in with a blank slate and only buy what they feel they need for that day. Or elope lol. That forced sweating of the small stuff has always bugged me.
Love this video! We got married seven years ago, had about 120 guests, and our ENTIRE wedding cost about $8,000 *including* the cost of the engagement ring, wedding bands, AND honeymoon flights. We were able to keep it low because of the amount of people in our community who offered to help us with things... From hair to cooking to music to photography. We spent a little extra on things that mattered to us, like making sure we rented reusable dishware instead of buying disposable. We found an ethical engagement ring for less than a thousand, my dress was purchased second hand, and we got flowers from Trader Joe's for the bouquet. I love that our wedding was such a demonstration of not just our love, but the love of the people in our lives. It was beautiful and actually so fun to plan!
What ever happened to cake and punch? I think it is ridiculous to be expected to pay for dinner for everyone! If you are going to spend $35,000 spend 10,000 on the wedding and give the couple $25,000 towards a home.
I was excited to see this video! We’re having a small close family wedding ceremony this summer combined with a once in a lifetime holiday to America! I’m going to rewatch this to keep my perspective, thank you Joshua! 💒🌸🩷
I love what one mother of seven daughters ( all married now!) said helps her keep her priorities set:
“At the end of the day, there are only three questions that I just want to be able to answer affirmatively:
1.) Are the bride & groom married?
2.) Did God show up too?
3.) We’re our guests cared for?
If all three are “yess’s- then the day was a success.”
What a wise lady!
And how I appreciate your wisdom too, Mr. Becker!
I got married at the justice of the peace and my only regret is that I didn't have a pretty dress. Even a simple one would have been nice. BUT we used our wedding money to buy furniture for our house.
Saving that money in order to start a family or a security fund to start marital life is more useful I think. Never underestimate the money factor in a marriage. It s a killer if finances are a struggle. In my family, the trend among the newly wed is not only we pay for everything ( food, chateau, accommodation for the 3 days, international flights etc..) but also wedding presents that they would nicely put on a fancy website. The latest was a honeymoon to Japan. We had to choose what present we want to buy them e.g. the plane ticket, the kimonos for the tea ceremony, the tea ceremony, the ticket from Tokyo to Kyoto, etc... etc...as for me, I sent them my love and all the very best for their new life together.
I do think a wedding is the day you should invite everyone you know, don't go small IMO, but that doesn't mean you have to spend alot. Cake and punch is fine, there is no reason a beautiful big wedding should cost more than a few thousand dollars.
We had a very small wedding: 7 guests, coffee and cake 120€. My dress: 60€, wedding ring: inherited, flowers: 35€. Plus invitation/thank you cards and some small things. Photographer 100€.
It was a small, funny wedding.
The divorce was more expensive...
Yes!! I agree with everything you said. We had a tiny wedding and I made all the things for it, then had the party in our garden after the ceremony in our lovely local church. The whole thing cost £1500 with our Honeymoon. Wouldn't change it a bit ♡ My dress alone cost £75 with my mum paying half. Everyone thought it was vintage and it wasn't, it was just a vintage style pretty white lace dress. I was inspired even more to keep it simple after talking to an older lady in church, who told me at her wedding it was raining and after the ceremony her and her husband went home and sat together infront of the fire and chatted the evening away.
Not everyone should feel like they need to spend money to make it a special day. Thank you Joshua for all your videos ♡
A humble wedding is when it's a potluck. You get to taste all the dishes of love.❤
Yes! Our wedding was less than $1,000 in 1997. A simple church, homemade touches, a friend photographer, a clearance dress. A cookout at the park for a reception. We were only 19 & 21, broke college students who loved the Lord. I don't regret a thing!
This is quite possibly the best video you've made! Loved seeing the photos of you and Kim.
The nicest wedding I ever attended was to a couple who had just 40 guests, the meal was on a long table in the dinning room, were we all sat next to someone we didn't know which encourage conversation, the food delicious, a personal, intimate time had by all. This wedding described was over 15 or more years ago and I've never forgotten it.❤
Nice haircut boss
We had a small wedding with 85 guests. We had a great time and it was very simple. We didn’t go into debt for it. 32 years later, I don’t regret anything we did. Still very happily married! Thanks for such good advice. 💚💚💚
❤
Many of my friends and relatives got married in their 20’s. A few of them were divorced within a few years so I decided to take my time before I would get married. After a few relationships, I met a nice woman with a great saoul. We got married before family and friends after 18 months of relationship. That was 18 years ago. It was a simple wedding but at a beautiful riverfront manoir. Guests were on site for a simple ceremony followed by a delicious meal a wine. We had about 50 guests, the whole wedding cost $5,000 but most guests sent money so we broke even. It was a beautiful sunny day in late May. I love my wife and I hope we’ll have many beautiful more years together.
When my husband and I married in 1967 we had a simple wedding that cost us $500. A friend who married at the same time had a wedding that cost $3000. That sounds cheap but if you consider at the time men were making less than $10,000 per year you can get some perspective. Assuming that money doubles every 14 years ( at 5%) that $500 wedding would be $8000 today and that $3000 one would be $48,000. Both my son and daughter got married in 2007. They had destination weddings that were the absolute best. The daughter had been living in San Diego at the time and a wedding there would have been over $20000. They married in Costa Rica for about $5000. 32 people came to their wedding and we celebrated for the entire week. Everyone arrived on Saturday but the wedding was not until the following Friday. Every day we had fun exploring the sights and doing fun things around Arenal. The resort or hotel accommodations were $25-125 per night and a full meal cost $5. Our flight was only slightly more than it would have cost to fly to CA. The son got married in the Bahamas and again it was 1 week of fun with everyone after the wedding. There is no doubt in my mind that a destination wedding is the best.
I'm Amish the most expensive wedding I've attended is $250 one Amishman nearly fainted when he heard how much it was. One said his was $167 another $123 n another $97 n the last $67 they all said how can he afford it. The wedding is conducted in the church/,meeting house. The head of each church has a Bishop with 2 preachers n a Deacon. The Bishop conducts the ceremony. The decorations are done by the young girls n boys. The reception is held at the local firehall where most are volunteers. The cake is baked by the ladies in the church. The food is made by the boys n girls n the church n ladies and normally sandwiches like ham n cheese n chips. Etc. Gifts are pragmatic like a big jug of laundry detergent or 6 days work on their farm or property. Or whatever. That's the way to keep expenses down n make it more enjoyable n memorable. Everyone is involved in this in one way or another. .maybe more couples should marry with an Amish theme not only saving money which could b put to other things bills a house or whatever. Make it more memorable.the average cost of a modern wedding is $35000 versus $250 or less and u r just as married maybe more so.by the 250. Less stress. The wedding planners only want to milk every dollar they can out of u n could care less. About any financial stress they've put on anyone and if it helps add to a divorce they got theirs so what. My parents were married in 1938 by a justice of the peace for $10 and their marriage lasted till Moms death in 1983. PRAY
My daughter is a bridesmaid in a wedding. The obligation financially is very stressful. She called me crying the last week, as she was going to the friend's bridal party and didn't realize she needed to bring a gift there also (in addition to the wedding and a separate bridal function). She said most of the gifts given exceeded $100. A distant relative married recently. It took two years to plan the wedding. It was held in NY and was so large and expensive. I know that her dad (my cousin) can not afford that and has health issues. They already have children and are a younger couple. I'm all for people enjoying what they can afford and it's their decision what type of wedding. However, I hope they didn't go into massive debt to entertain people.
Married at a friends lake house. My ring $299. (last year lost a stone and it was $700 to repair) Did not reach our honeymoon destination New Orleans. Stopped for the night at Natchitoches, Louisiana. Town was so beautiful we cancelled New Orleans.
This is year 25.
I’m not American but it’s a booming industry here too. My husband and I spent about USD 2k on our wedding including rings and a buffet lunch for our 15 guests including us. 😍
Thank you for sharing this important topic! Well done!
My husband and I were married in 2004 and I was determined to have a minimal ceremony after experiencing the stress and regret around extravagance of many of my family members after their weddings. It seemed the stress was often circled around food - whether pot luck or catered by the plate. I found that a 3pm ceremony at a rocky beach on a sunny day with only cake and punch to be the perfect kickoff to our marriage!
Your hair cut is awesome!🤩
Nothing could be truer. Thanks for making this video!!!
We married in our backyard in 2002. People who see photos of the wedding( that a co-worker took ) think it was in a park. I never want to move and hope my kids will marry here too.
Had a very simple one 40 years ago and we are sooo happy. So stop spending when 50 percent don’t last.❤️❤️❤️❤️
Great advice. I grew up in the 1980's and it was terrible, so many bridesmaids/gentlemen, parents taking a 2nd mortgage to give their only daughter the extravagant wedding. All I could think of was How can so many people decide to start their lives together with financial burdens. Back then people did not live together in fornication usually, even if they did fornicate. Now you wonder why are they even doing a wedding, is it all a show?
I’m so happy I married the love of my life and we did so in a quiet and a peaceful fashion, which are both our style. We prepared for 70 guests. Morning event. We had pizza for lunch at a restaurant across the church❤ But I agree that no matter how we made it simple, we were still both deliriously tired by 3pm. I cannot imagine if it was in anyway more extravagant. In hindsight, it’s pleasing to watch this video and I couldn’t agree more with every bit of it. Marriage takes work and some seasons will require more work. It’s best to prepare for it than the wedding day. ❤
Thanks for this vidoe, Joshua!
Nice hair, btw!
Love the video topic!💯👍
So True! Great message!
Cuanfo me casé, hace mas de 25 años, usé el vestido de novia de mi mamá, y solo invitamos a familia amistades cercanas, así que pudimos hacer la comida en mi casa, solo contratamos un grupo de cuerdas, mesas, sillas, mantelería y el servicio de comida... así que no fue caro.
I am a recently ordained metaphysical minister registered to perform weddings. I have decided that I will specialize in smaller more intimate weddings for many of the reasons you mentioned: a more relaxed couple, more attentive guests, less pressure on everyone to marvel at an expensive event, and primarily from my perspective - the opportunity for the couple to fully enjoy their simple day with the people who matter most to them.
Totally Agree! We had a wedding that cost under $1,000, including the reception! We rented a cliffside ”park” overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Laguna Beach , CA. for $15.00, bought a cake for $25.00 that we made sure not to identify as a wedding cake to the bakery, which is key, bought an off- white raw silk dress with pearls that looked like a wedding dress for $295 from a regular store called Cache’ ( probably no longer around) NOT A WEDDING DRESS STORE , which at almost $300 was an unneeded extravagance and I’m sure you could go cheaper, I made my vail for five dollars, my grandfather did the flowers for $10, since he was a florist, and my husband jazzed up a black suit he had already . The reception was at a little place, called The Cottage , a charming little white house with hardwood floors near the beach, where we had a brunch with three choices of highly affordable dishes. They printed out our little menu on colored paper and treated it just like a large party of people , again, NOT a wedding . As soon asyou say the world word “wedding”, the price goes up by 10 or 20 times .The wedding party was small, and only around 20 people, so, of course, a larger group would be more to feed. My husband worked with a photographer, who did the pictures for free, and they turned out gorgeous. We just had to pay for the expense of printing them, which wasn’t much. My parents gift was two tickets to Maui, and since my husband worked for Westin, the hotel was free .I think you could do it for even less, people. ❤😊
Your wedding dress sounds gorgeous! What a perfect day!
@@Vero18929 Thank you so much! 😊
Love the haircut!!!
So agree!!
So true x
Totally agree. I always said I want a simple wedding and to enjoy our honeymoon even more with all the money we saved on the wedding( within reason, of course).
Thanks for sharing photos of your wedding. So adorable.
My husband and I eloped in 1993 in a blizzard. It was a great wedding day. My daughter is getting married in two months, and it is the perfect minimalism wedding. Did I go a little Etsy crazy? Yes, I did with some items but the Restore has been my go to place. Tons of silk flowers and wedding decor at the Restore. Cannot beat it!
All of this so very true. I wish the young kids getting married today could see this video. I'm afraid, as you said, that competition drives so much of the elaborate wedding fuss of today, not to mention thr pre-wedding trips of the perfect engagement video/photos, bridesmaids trip, groomsmen trip, on and on. I plan on showing this video to my 23 yr old son. Thank you!
I believe social media is the cause for younger people wanting extravagant or destination weddings. They also feel they have to compete with friends and family. Honestly, most guys probably couldn't care less but they have to meet their girls' expectations.
I’ve met over 300 grooms, only one actually participated in the preparation.
Totally agree! Our wedding cost $600, including the wedding rings! I wore a friend’s dress, our flowers were a gift, our cake was half price as a gift. Our one regret was not using a professional photographer. Our pictures were done by a friend & obviously amateur- shadows on faces, hair out of place… Still, we’re happily married after 37 years. God is good! ❤
🙏 Amen !!! 🙏 Preach it Becker 💗 love this video 💕 I have been preaching this to my now grown kids since they were young . Now, on to sharing this video .
AMEN!!
💯 ”The wedding with the greatest Blessings is the one with the least burdens (in terms of time, money, effort, preparation and expectation).”
Excellent advice!
From our perspective, simple weddings are best. Less money is wasted, so more funds are available to start your life together. Our love is what matters, not the decorations. We were married on the side of a mountain in the snow with both families present. It was incredible.
After she herself got married, a young woman I know gave advice to another young woman planning her wedding: "Throw away all the brides' magazines!"
I also am against destination weddings. Don't expect guests to spend thousands of dollars to travel to some exotic location to watch you get married. Keep it local.
Amen!
Lmao tell this to South Asians
I got married at the city hall, just with our parents and brothers, we had lunch at a restaurant and went home, no party, no gifts, no honeymoon, no engagement party, no wedding dress, just normal clothes... but we've been together for 11 years, no money problems, so it works
I would never ever go into debt for a wedding. I have seen family members from my husband's side of the family (it is extremely prevalent in certain non-western cultures. In this case, Sri Lankan) spend £60,000 on a wedding. They had huge fights about the money they had to loan beforehand, and I am pretty sure, lots of financial trouble afterwards. I will never be able to relate. We spent €5000 total. That includes travelling to another city hall outside of the country we live in (we had to, for certain reasons), our rings, clothing, food at a restaurant for 50 people and our honeymoon to Turkey. Decor for our wedding all came from the dollar store.
My mother had me invite her coworkers and friends.
Yes, when I was married in the 70s it was more my mother’s wedding than anything. The guest list was filled with my mother’s friends not mine.
I got married in 1970 and made my gown and veil...the gown was a VOGUE pattern. Total cost - $50. I didn’t want an Engagement Ring, and our Wedding Bands were plain gold. We got married in his family's small church and had a reception dinner at a local Italian restaurant. Only family and close friends were there. It was simple and just right for us.
My husband and I eloped in Las Vegas with my 16 YO son on 2.22.22. We spent $1,500 total on all our clothing, the accommodations, the wedding ceremony, photography and food over the weekend. I did my own hair and makeup. Zero regrets, best $1,500 ever spent!
My husband and I spent a little over $1000 for our wedding. That includes the dress, the rings, the venue, everything. Probably our biggest expense was for the food at the reception. It was honestly kind of a fun challenge to see how much we could save by borrowing, thrifting, and DIYing the things for our wedding.
So true. 😊👍
Such a great topic to cover Joshua! My son had a city hall wedding and simple dinner afterwards with only 16 family/friends, no stress, no fuss and done! That was 7 years ago and they wouldn't have change anything! They saved their money to travel to Europe.
My husband and I had just our immediate family for a small ceremony at our church. We had a catered family dinner at his parents house afterward. Wouldn’t change a thing. ❤️
I agree with everything you said Joshua.
Yes, sir! Being in my early thirties, I witnessed my friends having larvish weddings with everything imaginable. So there was room for competition. My husband and I decided to have a small wedding with 10 family members each and had a small reception at a restaurant. Because of this, we were able to go on our dream honeymoon on a South African safari! Best decision ever! Also, we still use the few floral decorations we had at the church ceremony in our home. 😊😊
I’ve been to extravagant weddings and one intimate simple wedding. I had more fun, and was extremely relaxed at the intimate wedding. They only had close family and very close friends. It was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been to. My soon to be daughters in law want a small intimate wedding as well. 😅
Spending that kind of money before starting your life together is just financial irresponsibility
We had a tiny wedding ceremony down at the registry office with 4 witnesses. After that we had lunch at a restaurant, it was a very happy day. We were married for 37 years until my husband passed recently. Huge expensive weddings don't necessarily guarantee a happy marriage.
At my high school prom, I met my friend’s fiancé. A few years later when I went to open an account at a local bank, I saw my friend again because she worked there. As we were finishing up with my account, I asked her how things were going on her end. She told me that she had just gotten married and that they placed the wedding expenses on a credit card. That was the first time I ever heard about a big party being placed on credit.
Crazy! What ever happened to cake/punch weddings?!
$35k????? I am shocked! Gee, buy a car or start a retirement fund!
Wow what’s a great thinking of you. Iam going to be minimalist following you thankyou so much for your great thinking searing to us it’s a great for me
Unless you have it, it seems a waste for a few hours. And who really looks at the pictures after a few weeks? Maybe on aniv? My girls would much rather have some money to save and put toward home one day. I hope they continue to want that ; )
There is a research that proves more expensive wedding is higher chance for divorce, less expensive less chance of divorce 😅isn’t that interesting?