INFJ Loneliness - When You Feel Like an Outsider
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about INFJ - The Outsider. We all know INFJs are considered outsiders. Most of us feel like we're the odd one out. This isn't something new, but I honestly believe that it's so much more than just that we don't fit in. It has that much more to do with the fact, that we DO know what's going on in society. And that is because of our Extroverted Feeling. We have a sense of what is the norm. We have a sense of what is wanted, and because we're so aware of it, we also see the discrepancy between who we are and what society honestly wants from us. So today we're gonna tackle this topic because I believe we can change the entire narrative. I'm not here to tell you you're not an outsider because you are. It's more about embracing that. But then it's about seeing that we could connect THROUGH that on a level we never thought possible.
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What are your thoughts on the topic INFJ = Outsider ?!
Wenzes for me it runs very deep to the point where I feel like I don’t belong here. Let me explain in no way shape or form am I in any hurry to check out I just don’t feel like I fit here on earth and I got a long line to go home and this place don’t feel like home. It’s not an ET thing It feels more like going on a very long trip and you can’t wait to get home to the wife and kids but you don’t know where home is sorry all new to me stirs up a lot of emotion thanks for your help your videos are priceless
You nailed it. There aren't a whole lot of people I can be myself unfiltered around. Also, I gave up on the idea of being able to truly fit in anywhere because I know I'm unable to do that.
Agree with Wenzes and Trevor. It feels so much better and freeing just to be and share that with the world rather than to hide and/or just project 🥰🥳😁
It's very correct 👍🏻
@Johnny Embrace that, connect with people through feeling your uniqueness...the less you try to hide it the more you realize that you are the center of your life and your only truth...show all those unique traits of yours and let people connect with you through your truth.
I have often felt like an outsider, and I think you are right: it isn’t that I really wanted to be part of a particular group, but more like I felt disturbed that I wasn’t included. Excellent video.
I know that feeling too well! But yes, let's embrace that...👍
When few other people's lives or much of the world makes no sense to you, you are probably an INFJ. It's very hard!
My dad always encouraged me to be a square peg in a society full of round holes.
Turns out I'm actually a triangular peg that doesn't fit ANYWHERE lol.
99% of society doesn't understand, so I thank you for making a video that celebrates our INFJ-ness and encourages us to rock the triangular peg identity.
As an INFJ the most validating feeling for me is that of finally being understood by someone else. To know there are other people like me, and that I'm not as alone as I feel most of the time.
These people exist...our community proves it ! :)
Willem Kuiken Your dads a wise man
@@Johnnyo1300 how so?
What’s awful is the only way I don’t feel lonely is when I get a genuine connection with another person. This takes time and patience. Just hanging out with people doesn’t cut it. So it’s not as simple as going to the bar and chatting with the bartender.
“Anyone can do my job, but no one can be me.” - Harvey Specter
When you want to go deep but nobody else does, and they look at you like you are nuts!
As an older infj-t I can concur. Its 2020 and social distancing is the new normal... As an infj it's a way of life.. To quote a part from an old 1970s favourite movie of mine Robert de Nero's character in ((Taxi driver)) says... Loneliness has followed me everywhere my whole life, in bars, in cars, in stores, sidewalks....EVERYWHERE .
I'm God's lonely man .
And so it is for many infjs in this world .
As a very young INFJ, I relate this to the shallow seas and the deep oceans. As a former island boy, the beach is by far the most popular spot to go to for relaxation. After a while however, trust me, you will get sick of it. What fascinates me now is the deep oceans because there is so much to discover down there and I think the same way about life. There is a lot that the depths of life have to offer, yet I notice what the "norm" of society and most people I know is to act as you if you are on the shallow beach. I find more fulfillment and meaning in the deep oceans of life rather than in the shallows. Yes, one must occasionally rise to the surface for a breath of fresh air, but then its back down to the depths. Unless someone is ready to take the plunge with me, then let them view me as an outsider, but for those whom want to take the plunge, get ready for some real discovery!
👍👍
Wow! I have this same view point like you. I even wrote a poem about that! It’s that people can play by the shallow waters but the ones that truly love you would want to know your deepest ocean.
I've felt like an outsider most of my life and it really has stemmed from people not being able to understand my personality. It is a lonely feeling when you feel you can understand most people but most people can't understand you.
Lately I’ve been trying to express myself more, to stand for Who I though of myself, to let the real me lead my life. It’s kinda scary cause it shocked many people, specially the closest to me. I’ve been feeling so lonely since I was a kid, and the last few weeks I decided to show this bravely, that I’m not lonely, I’m just different. It’s not that I don’t fit in, but they’re not the right circle for me. This really made me feel braver and greater, and more confident. Thanks for this video, it makes me want to be ME even more🤍
I use to say “I feel,” instead of “I think,” and I’m just now figuring out why.
There are many channels here on YT hosted by INFJs giving their advice for living. They are on my 'Outsider List'. You, however, with your passion and perfectionism, are our Light Bearer of INFJ truth and knowledge for action. I am 77. Life has not been easy, but I have enjoyed being way off over there doing my Zigging as I watch the others in their regimented Zagging. I have seen the change in you in the last couple of yours.
Glad you like the channel! Thanks so much for your feedback!
FigmoDaddy I couldn’t agree more this is all very new to me I’ve listen to a lot of people on RUclips trying to find answers there is no better place for answers as far as I’m concerned sometimes the answer is the same but it’s all about the delivery
I found this video to be affirming of things I've learned in the past - and your fresh new insights as well.
Two points you made in this video stood out for me (and probably others).
1. When you told us to embrace being an outsider and a "take the story out of it. "
2. When you told us that when we show up as our authentic selves, that those who dont like us will distance themselves and that this is good, not bad.
It's a relief when we learn that we don't have to please everyone.
👍😊
Thats very true. Thanks for your insight. I wish I knew that earlier in life but it took me decades to learn tha from experience. Its only when I was unapologatic with what came naturally to me that I saw more respect from people. I was now an insider with my own role in society.
Well said!
My life has no room for toxic people.
I do not go out of my way to hurt other's...
Was just talking to a friend of mine abt this yesterday. Holding myself back from certain careers bc i felt i had to play a role i didnt want to play, like i couldnt be myself. Thank you for this!
You got this!
I always felt I was on the outside looking in. Like something fundamentally about me was flawed. It’s hard because we live in an extroverted, shallow world where the traits we have are the opposite of what society expects. That’s the good thing about getting older, you just learn not to really care anymore(it’s exhausting anyway).
The norm to me is fake; I've always experienced feeling like an outsider. Either you are like everyone else or you are ignored I never was a fan to play by the rules of society. The emotional atmosphere is too negative.
I hold lotta myself back... inner storms, fed up frustrated... your words make sense ... just discovered this personality trait test recently... I always felt I never fit IN ... so weird seeing some of my thought process been explained by strangers who have INFJ traits... still learning about this, I know it’s just a part of but not set in stone sort of thing. I took that mbti test few times & resulted to INFJ-A ... lotta similarities but yeah... looking within... great video thanks 👍
It's all fun and games, until you realise no one likes, or cares about, your true self
Self accept your outside the box thinking and acting. As simple as it sounds, just be authentically yourself no matter what and don't fear of that. Well the last thing is a tough one to do, I have been through that but if there's there's way.
Your honesty relating your experiences is quite perceivable. I feel related with all these things you share on your channel. Thanks for doing so. It's good to know that there are people like me that know how to manage being weird and not comprehended.
Extraverted thinking is not logic, it's rationale. Logic (aka introverted thinking) is about telling truth from what's not true. Rationale is about statistics and probabilities: what's more effective in a particular situation.
But your material is pretty great and on point about the topic.
That contrast between your hair and your eyes is amazing...Good stuff! Thank you.
Thanks for watching!
You make me feel alive
Thank you so much 😭😭❤️❤️
Your mission is so valueable and beautiful
Thank you for your dedication and energy
2:47 exactly!!! My whole life
Wow... So enlighting Wenzes!!! Its seems really scary to me right now but I will make my best to accomplish the life I want to live.
Thank you so much for being you and showing us that its possible finding real happiness by doing so. 💕
You can do it!
Great advice! Thank you Wenzes!
Any time!
Great talk, it was soo helpfull, I am so happy I found your channel.
Glad it was helpful!
i like this video very much. you are a very vise and encouraging person. thank you :)
Awesome!
Thank you Wenzes for this beautiful video, it shares a message that had remained in the shadows for me until now but I experienced strongly, I'm definitely going all the way with the process of letting go of the ideas of the ideal me & just show myself as I really am, even if I resist doing it at some level at first.. Thanks!
You got this!!!
Thank you.
Thank you. 💙
Thank You for this. You are so right. I just wish I could grasp all that you are saying.
Took so long to realize I was never going to get my 94 yr old Fathers validation. His rules don't fit my world.
We are the only ones that can give us the validation we are hoping for. Thank you for sharing.
Good video thanks beautiful for the videos there always good
As a 37 year old INFJ-T guy, I often feel like I should tie a heavy weight to my leg and throw myself into the sea. I only know one other INFJ personally but she lives 2,000 miles away. When we talk on the phone, I feel normal. The older I get, the more I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm a nervous wreck, feeling like I'm moving 150 miles per hour in every direction at the same time, but I'm actually moving -150 miles per hour in reverse. It probably has something to do with having only a hand full of friends and family. Overall, I'm probably moving toward a positive breakthrough because I'm starting to care a lot less about everything and I'm just waiting to fade out.
dig your channel
Yah 99% of the time I feel like I'm a observer, like an Alien amongst the world. The outcast amongst the outcast 👽
Hi, I really appreciate your video. Discovering this made me feel like I'm not alone, your video also points out a possibility I've never imagined before. Since young I always have an image of what I should be like when I got older, how I should act, what occupations I should do to make people see me in the way I want them to.
I wish to be happy living a life I pictured but after seeing your video I'm unsure if the life I'll lead will be as I imagined it to be. however, I have been (successfully) following the image for my whole life and to the point that I'm not sure if it is what I really like doing or is it an imaginary feeling that I created to match my situation. Do you know of any case where people truly find their passion through the image they created? (I'm still not sure if I'm doing all this just because I'm too scared to step out of the box) I don't know if it is ok for me to ask this much here but if anyone has been in a situation like mine I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some advice.
What are my thoughts on the topic INFJ = Outsider ? ! I do face opposition in both my personal and professional life. I'm the "odd guy out", "outlier", "lone wolf". Whatever they want to call me. I like it that way. The question is not, who will permit me. It's who is gonna stop me ?
I’ve been struggling with this. I come across as rude to people I have adhd anxiety depression it’s very hard. I want to fit in but I can’t I’m not even capable. I ruminate over everything I said and how I messed up and won’t sleep so I don’t even want to socialize.
🥰
🙋♂️
Put the speed on 1.5x, thank me later.
I hold lotta myself back... inner storms, fed up frustrated... your words make sense ... just discovered this personality trait test recently... I always felt I never fit IN ... so weird seeing some of my thought process been explained by strangers who have INFJ traits... still learning about this, I know it’s just a part of but not set in stone sort of thing. I took that mbti test few times & resulted to INFJ-A ... lotta similarities but yeah... looking within... great video thanks 👍