THE TALKING STAGE | DOS & DON’TS
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- So recently I've seen a lot of chatter about the 'talking stage' and I have my thoughts on it. How long should it be? What kinds of questions should you be asking? What are my red flags etc...
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
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The talking stage used to be so fun and cheeky but now it’s hella complicated , taking the fun out of it 🥴🥴 Let me know if you agree with my dos and don’ts ?
💯 I can’t understand talking to multiple people, how does one even have energy 🥴 I wouldn’t want to be a part of someone’s weekly time slot 🙅🏾♀️
Janine Marie honestly!!! I don’t get it at all 😂
Adella Afadi I’m curious as to how the cutting off process would go once someone decides to pursue a relationship with one person after... Do you just fade out, or?
@@janinemarie8591 Lol that's a valid question, I've never even thought about that part. I guess some people just ghost or let it fizzle out?
Adella Afadi Yeah I guess so, that means there’s a whole lot of people who’s been ghosted on🙇🏾♀️
Once ppl want to be talking to everyone the same way they talking to you in a relationship? They have an agenda most likely that's not positive to the relationship. That's also called double dating or more than that multiple dating that make no sense and also is a huge lack of respect for you and the person themselves. Uugghh.... Are they for real? Or for fake? Lol stay positive
Heavily distracted by the wall decor. Love it 😍
TheAriesCut _ haha thank you! It’s from Desenio :)
Can I just say, this is very quarantine relevant. Thanks, Adella!
Tinashe thank you Tinashe 🥰
This is soo valuable for girls and women with low self worth and low self esteem.
I'm hearing of the talking stage in a relationship for the first time. And I happen to be in the talking stage with a great guy. We've been talking for quite some time now. We started out as friends and that has been for about 3 yrs now but we only just started talking actively about relationships. I have been asking alot of questions, and he has too. I feel like we have covered alot, down to likes, dislikes, children, parenting, finance,sex and all that interesting stuff. And I've been real. We've even stated that we like each other. All along our conversations have been on chats but recently we've been talking on voice calls. He asked me just yesterday if I have fallen for him I simply said "I'm still making my observations" and that's the truth. I'm still young, so I'm taking my time, no rush at all. Thank you Adella, I've learnt alot from your insight 💞💞
I love this. It sounds like you're making all the right moves. I hope things work well for you both :) x
Ahhh the talking stage is so confusing lmaoo & taking my feelings seriously omggg very serious!!! NO gaslighting !!!!!🥺
Cinthia Jefia Say it againnnnnnnn!!!
I defo agree and including not entertaining others within that time. Non-Negotiables help to not compromise and it saves one from time wasters. If he/she sees a problem with it, then it’s a (?)🥴 Also to add- he/she should focus on their purpose/goal or what they were doing prior because people can smell desperation from afar. Have fun, like you said be yourself & ask important questions not “what’s your fave colour”, you’re also figuring if they’re right for you. Let those you actually trust in too, that are also wise so they can give guidance. Great video Adella 👏🏾💕
Nonyerem Duru very true RE being focused on your goals. Nothing worse than looking back and cringing at the desperate vibes you were giving off! And 100% it’s about figuring out if you want them not just trying to get them to like you! 🥰🥰
I love your energy and attitude Adella. You're so cool! You hit on everything I would think about but one thing.... Lol. The secrets. Secrets are big red flags. If someone don't wanna be honest and open and claim to wanna be with you. I don't understand that relationship. It would be by then you're like more than friends looking at each other more special than friends so hiding or withholding info that relates to the relationship like you got something to hide is a no no. You should feel free to be yourself if you feel you're worthy of the relationship or the other person by extention. I really enjoyed this video and hope to hear more on other subjects. Stay positive.
This talking stage is a mess! Dating and relationships is confusion! I’m single get me out of here! 😂🤣
👏🏾👏🏾 To all the things here! 😫😂 Especially relate to what you were saying about emotions and not ignoring them and not keeping silent out of fear!
Thank you for sharing Adella!🤗
That's a big one!! Glad you liked the video :) x
We have the same red flags hey... biggest pet peeve for me too is someone who’s keeping his options open. Clearly he isn’t sure about me ☝🏻
But that’s the point of the talking stage, to find out if you’re sure about the person you’re talking to…
Loved this video & will be encouraging friends that are at this stage to watch as you raised fantastic points🙌🏾🙏🏾💖
Thanks so much!
Love you Adelle. Love your vibe in this video
I just want to say your background and your new aesthetic is FAB! I love it✨✨ Back to the video😂
Hehe thank you!! Keith's been helping me with my new set up :D
Hehe thank you!! Keith's been helping me with my new set up :D
thanks for this Adella, it's so hard out here
Loved this so much. 🥺 very informative 💯
Johanna Klemens thank you!!
Thank you for this
I've never been in a relationship so I'm kinda "informing" myself ( that sounds weird) what to watch out for and what to look for etc. Because if the time comes I don't want to regret anything? I don't know if someone can understand but yeah :) Just trying to do stuff right and avoiding trauma and abuse
Love your accent 🌼
Oh my word... I’m going through this right now... thank you for all these points. I mean why is he calling me everyday am talking on phone for 2 hours... what are your intentions
Questions we need to ask!! Glad you like the vid :D
How I break it all up is like this:
Talking stage: around a month - no expectations are being held, just getting to know someone. My time is top priority so talking to this person doesn’t come before what I want to do during my day and night. During this stage make sure you know what your deal breakers are and find out if you both want the same thing, if not, move on, if you both do share the same big desires (such as kids for example) then next stage.
Dating: around 4 months - still no expectations are being held (that means they can date other people and so can I) we’re getting to know one another WITH THE SHARED INTEREST of a potential relationship and this has already been communicated before the first actual date so we’re both clear we’re interested in one another with the idea of a commitment if things work out. During this stage know what you’re looking for and evaluate if the person ticks those things off, such as core values that they may have and if they actually live by them and if those are things that are important to you.
Relationship: this is where you both communicate a commitment to one another and you now have an expectation of your person to take your needs into account because they’ve committed to a relationship with you. Before this stage no expectations of this individual meeting any particular needs should be had. By this stage it’s just a time game to make sure you’re both really compatible and if you’re both thinking of marriage, visiting a 3rd world country with a budget for a holiday at some stage will reveal to you if you really have a partner you can do life with lol.
Marriage comes next if that’s what you both want to do.
i am “talking” to this guy right now. We hung out together but he didnt attempt to do anything sexual-fine by me, since i wasnt either.. its because he never openly “flirts” that i think he’s not into me but there are definite signs that he is.. driving me home when i dont have a ride, remembering to hang out even though i merely suggested it once..and he let me wear his rings
Pray to be “sober-minded”
yas Madam Just subscribed!
Yay! Thank you love x
Huh?🙄😁 way too complicated... indecisiveness is time consuming. Mutual intune connection is where it's at, no gaming
Jahha H it’s very confusing 🥴🥴
He hasn’t asked to me for a week is that bad?
He already said he wants to be together in the future 😭😭
Talking for two years id rather be ...
Our greatest fear is that we think we are not beautiful(good) enough......
I look back and wished I had asked some tough questions and not ever have to wonder,esp in my singlehood season.
Being Ghosted😋
Have ghosted people 🤣
Have being clueless as well😪
I agree with most things in the comment session
Be real with people is my lesson of the talking stage,you might never get the same energy back/ ask the tough questions/trust God/ He that is to come would come🤗
What questions would you have asked if you don’t mind sharing?
The background music is annoying!!