RED FLAGS IN THE TALKING STAGE: 6 Tips to Help Decide if You're a Good Match | Lanz MacDonald

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  • Опубликовано: 2 фев 2023
  • It's important that you don't try to force fit a connection in the initial talking stage and avoid any red flags in the process. So, here are some ways to remain objective and observant on your first few dates to determine if you're a good match with your special someone. :)
    ☆ c o n t a c t ☆
    Business Inquiries: TheLanzMacDonald@gmail.com
    Hey everyone! Today’s video is all about making note of any red flags that you should be aware of in the initial talking or dating stage to avoid potentially wasting your time (or, if you're a good match). As we've talked about many times on this channel, you should never allow anyone to overstep your boundaries or value system simply for the sake of being in a relationship. I know many of you may being feeling some dating 'burn out' and really want to find a good match, but it's important that we don't attempt to force fit a connection. Also, remember to do some reflecting beforehand about what your key values and needs are, what type of dynamic you're looking for at this point in your life, and what your non-negotiables are as well. As I mention in the video, avoid looking at anyone through rose-coloured glasses, because the red flags will just look like flags. I hope this video helps in some way!
    #relationships #redflags #talkingstage #dating #lanzmacdonald #2023
    Give this video a thumbs up and comment down below on what you would like to see for the weeks to come!!
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Комментарии • 49

  • @lanzmacdonald
    @lanzmacdonald  Год назад +25

    Remember, "the issue with looking at someone through rose-coloured glasses is that the red flags just look like flags!" Be sure to take your time in the early stages of getting to know someone so you can be sure that they're a good match for you and you're not blocking your opportunity to be with a better fit!
    Wishing everyone the best ❤

  • @cheryljones2009
    @cheryljones2009 3 месяца назад +32

    What I find to be the BIGGEST turn off is when you're talking to a brand new guy on the phone, and they dont ask me ANY questions about myself! Ugh!!!
    I always ask guys questions about themselves, because I'm naturally a "curious" person.... I may let it go for 1 or 2 phone conversations, but I definitely pick up on it, like- does the guy even CARE about learning more about me??? 😣 So frustrating!!!

  • @TheTomJon
    @TheTomJon Год назад +61

    Tip 6 is everything! I've always said; go for a week long canoe-camping trip with a partner in back-country... if you can survive that without fighting you can survive anything 😅

  • @raystarzee3929
    @raystarzee3929 9 месяцев назад +25

    Thank you for this video. There was a girl I was talking to after a social event on WhatsApp and I felt things were to rushed. Such as over sharing, the constant love flirty messages, it felt pretty exhausting ngl to the point that I couldn’t even end the convo. I was gonna ask her for a date but I just felt that gut instinct that something didn’t seemed right. She kept indirectly persisting me to go on a date with her or video call her even though we only spoke for a few days at that point. When I refused and decided to go on separate ways she still continued and even asked me to meet up with her and her guy friends. That was the last straw for me. I felt that I did the right thing but keeping my distance and moving on. Ngl I always felt that getting to know someone on a deeper level should take time and should never ever feel rushed. If it does then I think you need to be careful.

    • @omerege3495
      @omerege3495 8 месяцев назад +1

      Bro I was just about to comment the same but I knew something was off

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  3 месяца назад +1

      I'm so glad you listened to your instincts! I've been in similar situations in the past. If you're already feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable from the jump, it's a strong indication that it's not the right fit.

  • @khayil
    @khayil 3 месяца назад +3

    I agree! Birds of a feather 🪶 flock together!! Be careful ladies! I’m taking notes 🗣️🗣️💯‼️

  • @rainberry2159
    @rainberry2159 Год назад +21

    I was talking to a guy, but I’m sorta embarrassed, I told him a lot about I felt because while we were trying to figure out if we would be a good match, he asked me what I found attractive about him. I was sorta hesitant to tell him because I wasn’t sure if we would even work out, (we didn’t obviously) but he would say things like “Who says we won’t work out?”, etc. He tried in the beginning, but expected me to reach out 90% of the time. I do feel like it’s partly on me, because I’m socially awkward, but I found it hard to talk to the guy irl because I got really nervous, so I wouldn’t say anything and most times we just didn’t talk. There were also certain times where he would mention his past relationships/talking stages. A part of me feels like I was just an ego-boost, but I still got attached because I’ve never been in an relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never been in an relationship, or no guy will ever like me for me. How do I get over him?

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  Год назад +13

      Hey! I'm sorry you had to go through that - I like to see these experiences as learning opportunities above all else. 😊
      I wouldn't put the blame on you for feeling socially awkward, I promise you that the right person will make you feel comfortable and like you can be yourself without having to put on a mask or feel unnatural. It sounds to me like his behaviour and comments were very egocentric and that he was looking for validation. He certainly may have been interested in you but based on what you've listed, he seems to lack some maturity.
      In terms of moving on, just remember that everyone comes into your life for a reason or to teach you a lesson about what you really want. Every time you put yourself out there to go on a date, you're gaining more information about the qualities you like/dislike in someone so you can be better informed the next time! Also, don't stress about it not working out. Putting yourself out there takes a lot of courage and vulnerability so you should be proud of yourself! My favourite mantra I like to tell myself is: "whatever is truly meant for you, will never pass you by." ❤ I hope that helps a bit!

  • @nahlakor8581
    @nahlakor8581 Год назад +20

    Great tips for red flags Lanz. I think it’s also very relevant for friends as well as we have to protect our energy with all people we let in and surround ourselves with.

  • @MamaMiahhh
    @MamaMiahhh Год назад +5

    thanks for this! really needed to hear this but hear me out. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks now, and I notice he would compare a lot of our situations to his ex. He would always tell me that she was very toxic and very controlling. I get it we gotta trauma dump sometimes, but i feel like he kinda uses me for emotional support. He also has seemed very busy recently, and has become more distant, as before we would talk everyday otp and would even sleep otp togogether , did I mess it up by getting to close in the beginning?

  • @thaliafo8207
    @thaliafo8207 Год назад +5

    Great videos!! Congrats On the masters

  • @JoyFay
    @JoyFay 10 месяцев назад

    These a great tips, especially #5.

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  3 месяца назад

      Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

  • @kira22421
    @kira22421 Год назад +6

    I loveeeee your videos!! I the way you give advice and then give detailed scenarios and examples I love it. This channel is amazing thank you. 🙏🏽 💖 Also curious did you go to school for psycholog?

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  Год назад

      You're so sweet I'm so happy you like the videos! ❤For school, I did a Bachelors Degree in Communications and recently completed my Masters of Communications!

  • @user-vn9gn8ec8s
    @user-vn9gn8ec8s Месяц назад +2

    The weird thing is he wants to hangout everyday and has already introduced me to his family and integrated me into his friend group but he doesn’t know if he wants to be official yet and he needs time

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  Месяц назад +1

      I have a video on things to make note of in the talking stage - you might find some of those points to be helpful for your situation! ❤

  • @user-gc2hn4di5k
    @user-gc2hn4di5k 8 месяцев назад +2

    Very smart notions

  • @mocahontas352
    @mocahontas352 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you

  • @TheTomJon
    @TheTomJon Год назад +3

    🎉🎉🎉 EH YO WELCCOME BACK! DAY MADE! 🎉🎉🎉

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  Год назад +2

      Thank you so much! So happy to be making videos again 😊

  • @pinkclouds809
    @pinkclouds809 7 месяцев назад +9

    Watching this and wondering if i am the red flag.

  • @taisendelta6761
    @taisendelta6761 Месяц назад

    Your advice was good except for the ex part, because of co-parenting.

  • @johnathanjohnson4161
    @johnathanjohnson4161 Год назад +4

    There’s this guy I’ve been talking to for nearly 2 months. Every now and then he randomly goes half a day without responding back to my last message and then follows up with a apology. Also, I’ve seen him once every 2 weeks and he lives in long island and I’m in NYC. Red flag?

    • @jelenamilacic2182
      @jelenamilacic2182 11 месяцев назад +4

      Imo sounds like youre a placeholder. Once every 2 weeks for 2 months is giving idc. or even worse theyre cheating w you.

    • @Diarrheagod
      @Diarrheagod 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@jelenamilacic2182it’s not cheating if you’re not in a committed relationship and she said they were only talking

    • @jelenamilacic2182
      @jelenamilacic2182 5 месяцев назад

      @@Diarrheagod cheating with you on someone else aka you’re the side chick

    • @Diarrheagod
      @Diarrheagod 4 месяца назад

      @@jelenamilacic2182 did u read my comment?

    • @soniaswan7471
      @soniaswan7471 2 месяца назад

      It’s a guy he can’t be a chick

  • @raeze8401
    @raeze8401 Год назад +2

    Hey I’m a boy teenager and I want to ask is talking stage and dating same thing? It’s a phase where you get to know each other right?

    • @giancarlomatute8125
      @giancarlomatute8125 Год назад +2

      Just talking, no expectations. Dating is when you’re going out and you both know you’re courting

    • @raeze8401
      @raeze8401 Год назад +1

      @@giancarlomatute8125 but that didn’t mean we already couple right? Because there’s this girl I been talking to and she said she had crush on me and I kind a like her too and we literally talk everyday since I’m in same school with her some time we hangout together after school.Well what should I do now should I ask her to be my gf now it’s already been like 5 week we close to each other and this is my first time so I don’t really know what to do

    • @aisling2419
      @aisling2419 Год назад

      @@raeze8401 ask her on a date! and keep going on them for maybe a month or so and when the time feels right ask her to be your girlfriend 😁

  • @meekalhassan3247
    @meekalhassan3247 Год назад +1

    Well-structured and thought-out tips that both genders can adhere to. The video would have been more informative if I didn't keep getting distracted by those eyes 😊

  • @brown55061
    @brown55061 3 месяца назад +2

    Red flags.... nose rings

  • @_HonkeyKong_
    @_HonkeyKong_ Год назад +3

    Women talking about red flags is hilarious because they think having an android is a red flag

    • @lanzmacdonald
      @lanzmacdonald  Год назад +7

      😂😂I mean... is that a lie?

    • @roselereau6981
      @roselereau6981 10 месяцев назад +1

      It is.

    • @nowtata7592
      @nowtata7592 6 месяцев назад +3

      How is that a red flag

    • @EstNineteen90
      @EstNineteen90 2 месяца назад

      LOL I've just had this with some girl Why is it a red flag????