It’s crazy how that works! I was in a cell with a guy who was on his fourth prison sentence for domestic violence. This time he had broken his girlfriend’s arm when he attacked her with a baseball bat. It was my first offense ever for having and selling drugs to my friends who were already on drugs. And I had a longer sentence than him. That seemed weird to me. Thank you for your comment ❤️
The system is so beyond fucked. It's super scary because honestly all it takes is someone to lie about something and you could be in there for life. My ex almost killed me and he didn't even get community service 🤮. I'll never understand it, absolutely no justice for myself and my kids.
@@jessicaschmidt126 I’m so sorry to hear that. Yeah it’s pretty backwards. I was in a cell with a guy who was in there for his fourth time for domestic assault (this time he had broken his girlfriend’s arm with a baseball bat) and he had gotten less time than me. Strange. I hope you are ok now and away from that guy. My heart goes out to you ❤️
@@SmilesforMiles2024that’s true. You know why? Because domestic violence is a misdemeanor. If it hadn’t been the girlfriend but a stranger it would have been a felony. My arm was broken as well and totally bruised up as I was dragged around the house. and he was a doctor, and had many DUIs prior. And in a way, I’m glad for him now, as he wouldn’t have been able to be a doctor probably had he had a felony. It doesn’t however show up on a background test and can’t be removed. He got 3 years and 1,5 years in prison. He had done more things that just that There is this tendency even within the police force, to say it’s the girlfriend choice. As I had to go to court, I saw first hand, if they think you are selling drugs, and I mean a small seller it’s 10 years or even longer. And it’s uhm. Or a pedophile. I don’t understand that when people get back out there they would only focus on the time served and probably will reoffend. In stead tney should get actually help, so hopefully they don’t reoffend
@@jessicaschmidt126I’m sorry, it’s very frustrating, mu experience was so double. There were actual police officers telling me are you done playing him? And my arm was broken it needed surgery, I have a pin in there. I was bruised up as he dragged me through the house. I think he would have killed me had I not escaped. because leaving a witness wouldn’t work. Honestly I was also very confused and alone and embarrassed about it. You fall in a black whole. And your ex get to just blame you for it. And I am what? There is actual prove of it. I still live it today. As if I am the crazy one. I don’t know the answer. I just hope all is ok with you ❤
Keep sobriety your number 1 priority brother. I am a recovering heroin and meth addict myself, 9 years sober. I went to federal prison for interstate trafficking aka distribution. My guidelines for sentencing were 10 years to LIFE. I got very lucky and qualified for Safety Valve Act. The only thing that could’ve mitigated my sentence in the Feds. So lucky I didn’t have any prior arrests
I was really close to having a fed case. One of my charges was interstate trafficking as well. Someone snitched on me and they got me just as I came across the boarder from California into Nevada. Also my first offense, so same here, I got super lucky. Thank you for sharing. 9 years is a long time! I only have 2 1/2, but so far I’m loving this new way of being in my skin. Reading your comment is so inspiring to me! Thank you 🙏
@@SmilesforMiles2024I love pickles and ice cream but together? No! County jail shittiest for food definitely, one only gave you food twice a day! I was in a city jail for half a day once for driving with no license, they gave me a tv dinner & I slept til the drunk people got in. Best food - federal minimum security camp. Salad bar lunch and dinner, all these cereals and drink options, vegetarian without needing religion, you were allowed to take 2 pieces of fruit with you per meal! Pretty cool. Maybe I was just excited after corporate prison, being limited to the little pancakes, oatmeal, maybe eggs, and then peas basically. Then it was options and working out all day after my grounds cleaning job, then I got to go home.
Great video, i am nurse also and have seen nursing addiction over the last 13 years..something not talked about enough..you got my support for you and the channel
preciate it. online there are many who dont know the difference between jail and prison. they also just think criminals are random faceless "evil" people. nice to have a face and story shared to help the ignorant learn, even if its just a little.
I must admit I didn’t know much about the criminal justice system either before I was arrested. It was an eye opener for sure. And it is crazy how many wonderful people I met who were in there with me. Some of them probably should be in there but a lot of them have no business being in there at all. It’s really a messy and sad state of affairs. Thank you so much for watching and commenting ❤️
Hello, I am a nurse, and I am so sorry for what happened to you, but at the same time i am so happy that you are clean and trying to find your purpose in life. I am so proud of you being able to stand in front of a camera and talk openly of your drug issues as a nurse. Maybe this is your call; advice and prevent people from making the mistake you did, maybe saving someones life and their families. As a mother of 2 young boys I appreciate you so much for your courage and resilience. Keep it up you got this ❤
I’m 11 months sober from alcohol. Just found your videos. Love your honesty!! Do you go to AA or NA? AA has truly saved me!! I don’t think I could have stayed sober without it. Good luck!! I’ll keep watching. 🥰
I'm an alcoholic and my father is an alcoholic...I grew up going with my father to AA gatherings and was forced by law to go to AA later in life....I can say that my experience with AA was a disappointing and shallow one where everyone played a pity party trying to one up each other's sad stories...I do believe it helped some people but others just replaced their addiction with AA
0:17 appreciate the honesty about "meaning and balance". Nobody ever talks about that. It's either implicit or neglected. Or worse... people push nihilism instead. 14:58 "the initial separation from your problem/substance/behavior is essential for you to clear your head enough for you to be able to make some decisionson your own" this is true! I have a low social need, and was forced into public social spaces throughout my childhood in school. It took being out of that to start to learn what my relations with society and socializing are, to learn people are interdependent, etc.
I have the same experience. I never felt like I got enough alone time, even well into my adult life. I am experiencing some consistent and controlled solitude now and it is teaching me so much. I love the way you put that. Having a “low social need.” Now that I am finally honoring that need in my day to day life I am finding that the time I decide to spend with others is so much more rewarding and fulfilling. I really appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏
I am a nicotine addict. I was smoking up to 3 packs a day. What finally gave me the push to quit for good was approaching the age where my dad's siblings (all addicted to nicotine) started getting sick and dying (their late 40's early 50's). By far, for me, the most tortuous part of quitting was psychological. Seeing how divided I was in myself. Part of me saw clearly what I needed to do, and the other part of me couldn't have cared less; this was an insidious battle. That was 22 years ago. Thanks for your sharing. You've got a bright future ahead of you. Good man.
Thank you for sharing. What got me to stop smoking was a health scare. I wasn't even as heavy of a smoker as you and yet, I still sometimes find myself feeling like I want one. Do you find that those cravings ever really 100% go away?
@@brendanm6921 Those cravings do go away, 100%!!! It took a few years (4-5). I can even enjoy a cigarette, vicariously (sitting with someone enjoying a cig). Recently I saw a video by a Stamford neurologist, who stated that there is mounting evidence of the benefits of nicotine (preventing dementia, alzheimer's), so I've been experimenting with gum. No cravings for a cigarette, whatsoever! Stick with it, and good luck to you!
@@brendanm6921 Those cravings do go away, 100%!!! It took a few years (4-5). I can even enjoy a cigarette, vicariously (watching someone enjoying a cig). No cravings for a cigarette, whatsoever! Stick with it, and good luck to you!
@@brendanm6921 Nicotine gum is fantastic - it's not the nicotine that causes cancer - in fact, in Japan they sell nicotine-infused energy "drinks." It's all the gases and other crap in cigarettes that kill you. Good luck!
Had this video come across my homepage and was shocked to find out you only had less than 300 subscribers while I was watching. You’ve got one more now at least👊
Thank you!! I’ve been posting one video a week for about 6 months now. So I’m brand new and I’m still learning how to make content. Two weeks ago I only had 80. So it’s going in the right direction 🙂 thank you for your support. You’re awesome!
Your comment is 6 months old, that means @SmilesforMiles2024 gained nearly 20 THOUSAND subscribers in half a year? That's nuts. RUclips algorithm is a wild thing. That being said though, congrats Miles! Love your content! You're an inspiration, and I hope you can keep up the good work! Keep the content positive, and stay positive yourself! Thanks for the vids!
I love your energy! The fact that you’re making these videos is awesome and I hope your channel grows cause I feel you should have way more followers than you do 😊
I, too, was a nurse. About 15 years ago I got addicted to opiates and got my license suspended and was required to go to the RNP (recovery nurse program) in my State. Never went to prison but I did spend a night in jail for taking medication from the hospital I was working at. I understand and congratulations. It's not easy but it's easily possible.
This is such an unacceptable way to care for prisoners. Incarceration is the punishment, not incarceration followed by endless torture. I’m guessing from your accent and the stories that you’re in America. I’m glad you’re resilient enough to get this far and I hope you continue in an upwards trajectory until you’re thriving. Criminals are people just like anyone else, and you’re proof that true change can happen. Thank you for sharing on here 👍
Thank you for that. Yes, jail/prison is a pretty strange place. I actually got a lot out of it though. I met a lot of very wonderful and interesting people. It’s ultimately an experience I am glad I had. Oh, and yes, I am in America.
Yeah I knew US prisons were bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. Getting served rotten food, starving, subjected to unsolicited violence, denied access to medical treatment and visits from family.. and then there's the slave labour. There's no way these things aren't breaches of UN's human rights. EDIT: Just looked it up, and it gets much worse than what's mentioned in this video. What a godless stain on the western world.
Glad you were able to get healthy. Thanks for telling your story about Prison. It's good for people to know what it's really like. Appreciate your honesty!
I love John Prine but I hadn’t heard Christmas in Prison. Just listened to it. I’m in love with it. I’m gonna have it on for the rest of the day!!! Thank you SO MUCH for giving this to me! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. I worked as a peer recovery specialist for the Minnesota Department of Corrections for a while. I wasn’t allowed to advocate for the people in my program. The department only wanted the grant dollars from the state and didn’t care about the program itself at all.
Love your videos man! I have some “experience” with the things you went through going through the whole criminal justice system process so it’s very interesting to hear your experience and kind of the similarities and differences between our experiences is what I really find cool. Obviously being a former trauma RN you’re really smart but you also are very articulate and well spoken so it makes hearing about your experiences that much better. Will continue to watch and enjoy your stuff, stay bless my friend 🙏💪❤️
Excellent video. Thanks for sharing your terrible experiences in prison. I'm glad this terrible experience gave you your life back. Best wishes for your continued good health and strength.
Hi Brian, it is awesome to hear that you are feeling better now in your life than ever before. Glad that you can spend the remainder of your prison sentence on House arrest and free of all the bad experiences you encountered in prison. The only positive thing with the bad experiences is that you know how bad it is in Prison and it incentivizes you to never want to go back in that environment. So glad you started this channel talking about your struggles and victories. It is wonderful that you are working so hard to improve each day.
Oh man, these stories make me happy to be living in a place like Norway, where we actually treat our incarcerated people as exactly that - people who just so happen to be incarcerated. They've messed up in life, or life has messed them up - no matter what made them get a prison sentence, that is their past. Now they're in prison so that the society can give them the resources they need to change.
Either you are an amazing actor or both sincere and amazingly natural in your delivery. The moment that jumped out at me was when you dropped in "...nobody's going to see this..." Such a great look into your subtext as you were making this.. As I said, either wonderfully acted or naturally charming. I'm pulling for you, man. Best wishes.
When a profession struggles so much to attract staff such as the Prison service, they obviously lower standards significantly in order to actually attract ANY staff. You know the people talked about in this video hate their job & probably lives & project that hatred onto the inmates. Excellent video...Good luck.
Definitely. It doesn’t help that they are also not treated nor paid very well, less incentive to act humanely. A lot of it is just bad people but unfortunately a lot of others would probably not otherwise if the environment was better. Not trying to excuse anyone’s behavior, it’s just a thought
Thank you for sharing this video and information.. I can’t even imagine. I fortunately have never been incarcerated.. but I can relate to you when you were talking about how jail was good when you were withdrawing from the drugs.. when I was in my infancy of recovery.. I had a stroke.. so I didn’t have any access to drugs or cigarettes.. so that made it a little easier on the quitting part.. I can definitely relate to you in a way. I did have a stoke because of my drug use.. I had a defect in my brain.. so when I used.. I was at higher risk than most.. but I stopped using because of my stroke.. but I am staying sober because I surrendered.. and I am done. Keep making these great videos. Have a wonderful day ❤
Oh wow! That is crazy! But the similarity is interesting in that something that was not your choice was the catalyst for getting you away from the drugs initially. Your situation sounds scarier than mine though. I’m glad you made it through and are here 🙂 I really appreciate you sharing and for your encouragement.
@@SmilesforMiles2024 you are 100% correct.. it wasn’t my choice to have the stroke… I know it sounds crazy.. but I am so happy it did happen.. because if it didn’t how much longer would I be in my addiction.. I probably would have died eventually.. but so blessed I had it happen to me. 3 brain surgeries later 💪
I'm 40 and disabled. I live in a care home in Sweden. I totally understand what you're saying about not being able to choose your food. My body doesn't feel well if I'm only eating what I'm served. And not having a real kitchen there's not much I can do about it either.
But I've got a feeling that the food they give y'all in the nursing home is five-star cuisine compared to what most American inmates receive! As for not being able to choose what to eat, beggars can't be choosers.
I was only in county for a day, and I got the dehumanizing treatment from most of the staff there. It's crazy. They act like their job is to punish you further.
SAME! I was even made fun of and harassed because I had never been in jail before and I didn't know any of the routines, etc. I kept crying, "I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN HERE BEFORE!!"
Hey Brian (edit), thanks for sharing. Have you done a video on what led up to your arrest, the arrest and going to county jail? Can you share more about your B felony? I’m glad you have a RUclips channel. You never know who’s listening…and who you are reaching. Disclosing our secrets help mitigate the shame.
The stories of how poorly inmates are treated makes me sad and angry. Dehumanizing is not okay and I can’t respect a country that treats people that way.
@@JohnGorman355 Still, we shouldn't stoop to the same low as the worst criminals, at least not for all prisoners. Most inmates are behind bars for small things.
@@Libertaro-i2ucorrect. I , sadly, spent a night in County, and most of the women there were for unpaid DWLS and other traffic tickets!!!! (Yes, I realize that Jail is different from Prison, but u get the idea)
This is a great life lesson. I have sought out people and experiences, ever since I can remember, in order to gain sophistication and familiarity with perspectives different from my own. As for mine, I was an LAPD officer for 5 years in the 90s, during World War Crack. As part of our academy training, we worked for a week in L.A. County and Sybil Brand Institute. Being behind those walls was as close as I can come to what you experienced, and it was closer than I anticipated. Mainly, I remember the stale air inside, and eating in the cafeteria line that the inmates ate in. I have never breathed air like that in my life, and I intend to never do so again. As for the food, the deputies said that the food was "good", but we ate what the inmates ate. They dished it up for us in the line. It was a ridiculously vulnerable feeling, but it was either eat that...or nothing. Congrats on your sobriety. Keep up the good work. I wish you the best, and I thank you for the education that you are providing. You are helping people.
Glad you got clean. I never got into drugs, but I did start smoking cigarettes when I was 13, and did that until I was 23. I tried quitting so many times until it finally took at 23. I'm now 47, and have been off cigarettes for 24 years. I know it's not the same thing, as smoking isn't really mind altering, but the addiction is very strong and very real. I can only imagine if it was both that addicting, as well as being expensive, mind altering, and that quitting made you literally sick. The first few years after quitting were difficult. That's how strong that addiction is, is that there was a constant pull. Granted it got easier after a couple of months, but it was still there all the time in my mind for a few years. I STILL have regular nightmares that I started smoking again, and I have to go through quitting all over again. The disappointment in myself and so on. After a few years, it really did get a ton easier. I don't ever feel a draw for it when awake, except after one of those nightmares, for a few minutes after waking. Then the relief sets in, that I didn't actually start smoking again, and I'm so happy. I'm guessing you probably still feel the pull to the drugs, but I think in time it'll get easier and easier to say no to it, and to feel the immense gratitude of being clean, sober, and being able to build a life. You're young, you can do whatever you want still. Just remember the horrible food, and you'll know, whatever you're doing, and however basic your life is, that it's 1000x better than that. Every day you're clean, you're digging a deeper groove in your mind, that that is what is normal and good. Every day, just a little bit deeper into that rhythm, and then every day is a win.
lol. I know, right!? The institution doesn’t have much to offer as far as holidays go. But I must say that the coming together of the convicts to celebrate in whatever way was available to us was truly heartwarming. I think you just gave me a great topic for another video 🙂 thank you 🙏
Hey Brian, thanks for making this video and sharing your experience. I think it’s disgusting how good people are treated like animals simply because they suffer from the disease of addiction. I really hope you continue to grow❤️
Congrats on being sober for over 2 1/2 years. It's a long tough road, but you're doing fantastic. Keep up the great work Brian. Looking forward to watching more of your videos.
Congratulations. I was slamming over a 16th of an ounce a day, of meth, 14 yrs ago, when I realized I was killing myself & I quit cold turkey. Although I’ve been in county a couple times & those experiences were miserable, in my quit, I just managed to do it. Then I sold my house & used $50K to get dental implants, & now no one knows I was a meth addict 14 yrs ago. You’ve got this man. You’re way too smart to be owned by the cartels. You go! Go be free & happy.
Great inspiring video! Thanks. I’m so glad you’re no longer addicted. God has given your life back to you, made whole, as a precious gift. I will give God the glory and thanks for your deliverance. You have now learned that you must never go back to recreational drugs of any kind, including pot. Stay away from the booze also. All of it poison. God bless you!😊
When things appear to be falling apart, they may just be falling into place.. Everything happens for a reason. We may not understand the reason for some of the events we encounter however the priority is to learn from it.
I got sober in 1991 because I was convinced that it was only a matter of time before I was caught and thrown in prison. I knew I would never be able to handle that (or at least I didn't think so...who knows?). But that motivated me to go to AA and NA and of course other modalities, and luckily I didn't have to detox from opioids, and luckily I never relapsed. And this was way before all the new horribly addictive and dangerous new drugs. I'm so grateful, and it's fascinating to watch these guys who did go to prison. My heart goes out to these guys and gals, not just Smiles, but all of them. But it's particularly gratifying to see how Smiles is handling it, I wish him all the best. I'm now in my late 60's and for 33 years I've been able to drive around not freaking out when I see a cop behind me.
Never been imprisoned, but spent several years in various homeless shelters. The dehumanization there, was often very similar, especially in California. Anyway, stay clean and be well.
I got arrested for a DUI and had to spend 4 and half days in a county jail before I got out. This jail was setup as a 23.5hr lockdown, meaning you are only let out into the pod for .5hr a day. Inside the cell, we had nothing. No books, nothing to write with, nothing. Literally nothing. In that time I was withdrawaling from high doses of Kratom extracts and it was HELL! It was the most miserable time of my life. Trust me, the withdrawal from Kratom (when you are taking very high doses of the extracts) is very painful. It's like having constant panic attacks over and over, solid, 24hrs a day. Your body hurts and is cold and hot at the same time and there is no possible position that is ever comfortable, especially in a cold brick cell. Sleeping is IMPOSSIBLE. Also, the thinking is SO DIFFICULT and painful. Every thought is stressful and is like an anxiety attack, there is no peace, no calm, no comfort. Its just constant and doesn't let up. Awful. Anyway, congrats to you for getting sober. I know that initial 3-4 weeks was absolute misery, being in jail especially.
And should we have sympathy for you? My brother 21 years old was killed at the bottom of our road and died in my arms. I’ve been a psychiatric nurse for 40 years and never met a drunk that had sincere regrets for the lives they’ve destroyed!
I've been taking it for eight years without issue. It's the enhanced or altered kratom that they sell in head shops and gas stations that's the problem. They( Big Pharma) is doing this to give kratom a bad name. That stuff is barely kratom. Plus, remember, an addict can abuse most anything. It's the insidiousness of the disease.
@@aimeebaldwin5600 , I'm sorry, it is the reds that work for me. The red variety is for pain. It needs to be properly activated too. I would love to see clinics set up to help people with kratom. It is rather complicated with the different colors, and helps they give. Also to help people to use properly for the best results. The drug companies do all they can to ruin it, as they can't patent it. It saved my life, and continues to. I used it to come off the plethora of drugs/opiates+++ for trauma and pain management.
I am a defense lawyer in silicon valley since 2000. I have petitioned our Gov two different ones to be on the CDC with stellar references and not even a word. They pick however their " favorites" or handed them out to "their favorites": who ended up making zero changes or were fired for corruption from what made it to the news or the papers. Well I TRIED.
My uncle is a lawyer in the Sacramento area. He was an attorney for the prisons for quite some time. I’m not sure exactly what his position is now but he certainly has stories about how the prisons are. I remember he made a comment about food being served in a horrible nursing home my grandma was in years ago and he had mentioned that not even the prison food was that bad. Yet it was awful there too.
Have known several nurses over the years (4 or 5) that were stealing fent from patients/the facility. One got caught because she went down in one of the bathrooms at the hospital. Her husband was a reformed drug counselor working in that industry; he was also an active fent addict. They had 5 kids. She was good people and a great nurse; hope they’re doing better.
I wondered on to your channel , I’m a former trauma technician that was forced to retire because I refused the booster after the covid vaccine gave me short runs of SVT . I ended up in a deep deep depression and turned to drinking. I pushed my loved ones away and moved out of California. I just started to get my head right and am now in hell far away from my family . I am working on getting back to California and back into the hospital. I think I’ll subscribe to hear more. I wonder if anyone would like to hear my stories. 18 years of trauma medicine gave me many things to talk about.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. My ex-husband ended up in prison after I left him for starting a child pornography ring . So glad I was long gone. What ever happened to him it wasn’t enough. Interesting to hear what it is like. I am glad you have recovered from your drug addiction and moving on. I’m a retired RN and have heard of RNs loosing their licenses but never heard what happened to them. Your videos are very informative. Thank you for sharing these difficult experiences. I wish you well.
I like your videos very much, I had a dear dear friend who finally died of an overdose, Problem with insight and wisdom it doesn't always help.Its like tough love sometimes it works, but frequently doesn't. anyway, God be with you
The treatment that non-violent offenders get is absolutely wild to me. Ok, you made a mistake, now you're paying for it. Why make reform harder than it already is? Everyone with their pitchforks out, those who vote for capital punishment, forget that prison is for reform. Their mentality still lives in the 1800s when the crime for stealing bread was death. Also The Shins are so rad. I was my lyrics were as regal and poignant as James Mercer's
A lot of it, when you’re in there, feels like punishment for the sake of punishment. The “reform” part is quite absent. But it’s a really set-in-stone system that is slow to change. There are some good things in certain cases, but mostly it feels really misguided.
Thanks for reminding me of county food - I am diabetic and sometimes feel sorry for myself for having such a strict diet. Now I am grateful it is not the loaf I used to have to eat everyday.
Hey man I am glad that you've gotten better. But I have to tell you prison guards and all the rest of the folks in general that work in prisons do it as a last resort because they can't get any other work. My ex used to live in a little county in Florida and it had a state prison there a women's prison there and then it had three private prisons there and that was like the going job because there was nothing else happening there So I've always seen prison guards as really a very low skill you know job that attracts people with sub 100 IQs hang in there.
So happy for you! How in the world did you withdraw without help? Isn't that dangerous to do cold turkey? I've taken prescription opioids and good grief, I wished to be knocked out or worse. Just awful. Good luck to you! I'm a subscriber, so ill be watching. 😊❤
I totally agree. I have my loved one who is in prison. The food - recently they had 19 missed meals. In a row. And when we (as family members) complained, they gave reasoning that it was Ramadan. Even if you are of a Muslim religion, you still eat once a day. In addition, my spouse received no medication for severe health issues. As they say “Take with food”. Medical care - he has personally paid for surgeries. After 3 years of not getting them, it went to court and the judge ordered for these to be scheduled urgently. It has been 3 years since that court date and nothing is done. But they did put him into Segregation for writing complaints and seeking legal action. He now has no communication allowed due to that.
Trust no celly , dont open up, dont speak to a co, dont steal , dont over share foods , keep shoes on all time , keep your eyes half open , keep your nose where it dont belong , dont say when you get released, be clean , dont call no one a b , if they call you a b , take flight. Dont take drugs , don't take others cigarettes could be mix , dont brag about regrets . Do your time
I can’t speak against everyone in the industry, but who would choose to work as a prison guard? You can do anything anywhere, nothing is stopping you, so why do that? I think the position attracts some serious sick fucks. As well as the entire drug and contraband market in prison was created and ran by the guards. Would it be fair to say a prison is the most corrupt place on earth? Maybe
It’s pretty bad sometimes. There are really 3 types. The ones who are strict and by the book but are respectful and kind if you respect them. Those are few and far between. Then there are the ones who are board or burnt out and just seem to have a general disregard for the inmates on every level. That is the majority of them. And then there are the handful of them who seem to be there because they just want to kick people around and treat them like shit, and they know they could never get away with it in any other context.
I worked in prison in 90s , I wasn’t a sick fuck it was just a job for me. Anyhow I went on to do other things after 2yrs. I didn’t like the environment really.
MD here. Nurses are soooo much more important to care...than my ilk will ever be. Meth is bad. But our society is misguided...to send you to prison, all too common and unthinkable.
This was very interesting, thank you for sharing. I wish our prison system was better at reform and rehabilitation for non-violent offenders. Seems like the cruelty is the point sometimes. Heartbreaking to me how they treated your notebook of hopes, plans, and dreams. Wish you all the best.
You're a good communicator/storyteller man- Keep it up- I'd like to watch more.
That’s so cool to read. I really appreciate you taking the time to watch and for your encouragement 🥰
1000% agree 😊
It’s sad that drug “dealers” get more time than child predators. Disgusting
It’s crazy how that works! I was in a cell with a guy who was on his fourth prison sentence for domestic violence. This time he had broken his girlfriend’s arm when he attacked her with a baseball bat. It was my first offense ever for having and selling drugs to my friends who were already on drugs. And I had a longer sentence than him. That seemed weird to me. Thank you for your comment ❤️
The system is so beyond fucked. It's super scary because honestly all it takes is someone to lie about something and you could be in there for life. My ex almost killed me and he didn't even get community service 🤮. I'll never understand it, absolutely no justice for myself and my kids.
@@jessicaschmidt126 I’m so sorry to hear that. Yeah it’s pretty backwards. I was in a cell with a guy who was in there for his fourth time for domestic assault (this time he had broken his girlfriend’s arm with a baseball bat) and he had gotten less time than me. Strange. I hope you are ok now and away from that guy. My heart goes out to you ❤️
@@SmilesforMiles2024that’s true. You know why? Because domestic violence is a misdemeanor. If it hadn’t been the girlfriend but a stranger it would have been a felony. My arm was broken as well and totally bruised up as I was dragged around the house. and he was a doctor, and had many DUIs prior. And in a way, I’m glad for him now, as he wouldn’t have been able to be a doctor probably had he had a felony. It doesn’t however show up on a background test and can’t be removed. He got 3 years and 1,5 years in prison. He had done more things that just that There is this tendency even within the police force, to say it’s the girlfriend choice. As I had to go to court, I saw first hand, if they think you are selling drugs, and I mean a small seller it’s 10 years or even longer. And it’s uhm. Or a pedophile. I don’t understand that when people get back out there they would only focus on the time served and probably will reoffend. In stead tney should get actually help, so hopefully they don’t reoffend
@@jessicaschmidt126I’m sorry, it’s very frustrating, mu experience was so double. There were actual police officers telling me are you done playing him? And my arm was broken it needed surgery, I have a pin in there. I was bruised up as he dragged me through the house. I think he would have killed me had I not escaped. because leaving a witness wouldn’t work. Honestly I was also very confused and alone and embarrassed about it. You fall in a black whole. And your ex get to just blame you for it. And I am what? There is actual prove of it. I still live it today. As if I am the crazy one. I don’t know the answer. I just hope all is ok with you ❤
Keep sobriety your number 1 priority brother. I am a recovering heroin and meth addict myself, 9 years sober. I went to federal prison for interstate trafficking aka distribution. My guidelines for sentencing were 10 years to LIFE. I got very lucky and qualified for Safety Valve Act. The only thing that could’ve mitigated my sentence in the Feds. So lucky I didn’t have any prior arrests
I was really close to having a fed case. One of my charges was interstate trafficking as well. Someone snitched on me and they got me just as I came across the boarder from California into Nevada. Also my first offense, so same here, I got super lucky. Thank you for sharing. 9 years is a long time! I only have 2 1/2, but so far I’m loving this new way of being in my skin. Reading your comment is so inspiring to me! Thank you 🙏
@@SmilesforMiles2024I love pickles and ice cream but together? No! County jail shittiest for food definitely, one only gave you food twice a day! I was in a city jail for half a day once for driving with no license, they gave me a tv dinner & I slept til the drunk people got in. Best food - federal minimum security camp. Salad bar lunch and dinner, all these cereals and drink options, vegetarian without needing religion, you were allowed to take 2 pieces of fruit with you per meal! Pretty cool. Maybe I was just excited after corporate prison, being limited to the little pancakes, oatmeal, maybe eggs, and then peas basically. Then it was options and working out all day after my grounds cleaning job, then I got to go home.
Glad u alright now! I just had a year and a day over my head and was lucky enough to get a good counselor in recovery, who helped me sort things out.
SO happy & grateful you made the necessary changes to change the trajectory of your life!!! Thank you for sharing and encouraging others!!! 🙏😇💫
@@cookymarie82I think the fed pens are markedly better because they have a substantial percentage of white collar crimes and money always talks.
Great video, i am nurse also and have seen nursing addiction over the last 13 years..something not talked about enough..you got my support for you and the channel
What is nursing addiction , i am european by the way .
I'm happy that you got through the drug withdraw and are sober these days. Thankyou for telling your story
preciate it. online there are many who dont know the difference between jail and prison. they also just think criminals are random faceless "evil" people. nice to have a face and story shared to help the ignorant learn, even if its just a little.
I must admit I didn’t know much about the criminal justice system either before I was arrested. It was an eye opener for sure. And it is crazy how many wonderful people I met who were in there with me. Some of them probably should be in there but a lot of them have no business being in there at all. It’s really a messy and sad state of affairs. Thank you so much for watching and commenting ❤️
The worst part about prison is the dementors
😂😂😂 that really put a smile on my face!! Some of them certainly do seem like the soulless creatures who guard Azkaban!! 😂😂 Thank you for that ❤️
It's actually a quote from "the Office" 😅@@SmilesforMiles2024
I was looking for this.
They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!
@@TheEvilDead1983 It hoyt!
Congratulations on your sobriety! You have overcome so much. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Sending love from Australia! 🇦🇺
From Australia!! That’s so cool! Thank you so much for your comment! I’m smiling from ear to ear as I type this 😁😁😁
Hello, I am a nurse, and I am so sorry for what happened to you, but at the same time i am so happy that you are clean and trying to find your purpose in life. I am so proud of you being able to stand in front of a camera and talk openly of your drug issues as a nurse. Maybe this is your call; advice and prevent people from making the mistake you did, maybe saving someones life and their families. As a mother of 2 young boys I appreciate you so much for your courage and resilience. Keep it up you got this ❤
I’m 11 months sober from alcohol. Just found your videos. Love your honesty!! Do you go to AA or NA? AA has truly saved me!! I don’t think I could have stayed sober without it. Good luck!! I’ll keep watching. 🥰
My hubby is a major city police detective. Ironic. Or not. 🤷🏼♀️
I'm an alcoholic and my father is an alcoholic...I grew up going with my father to AA gatherings and was forced by law to go to AA later in life....I can say that my experience with AA was a disappointing and shallow one where everyone played a pity party trying to one up each other's sad stories...I do believe it helped some people but others just replaced their addiction with AA
0:17 appreciate the honesty about "meaning and balance". Nobody ever talks about that. It's either implicit or neglected. Or worse... people push nihilism instead.
14:58 "the initial separation from your problem/substance/behavior is essential for you to clear your head enough for you to be able to make some decisionson your own" this is true! I have a low social need, and was forced into public social spaces throughout my childhood in school. It took being out of that to start to learn what my relations with society and socializing are, to learn people are interdependent, etc.
I have the same experience. I never felt like I got enough alone time, even well into my adult life. I am experiencing some consistent and controlled solitude now and it is teaching me so much. I love the way you put that. Having a “low social need.” Now that I am finally honoring that need in my day to day life I am finding that the time I decide to spend with others is so much more rewarding and fulfilling. I really appreciate your comment. Thank you 🙏
I am a nicotine addict. I was smoking up to 3 packs a day. What finally gave me the push to quit for good was approaching the age where my dad's siblings (all addicted to nicotine) started getting sick and dying (their late 40's early 50's).
By far, for me, the most tortuous part of quitting was psychological. Seeing how divided I was in myself. Part of me saw clearly what I needed to do, and the other part of me couldn't have cared less; this was an insidious battle. That was 22 years ago.
Thanks for your sharing. You've got a bright future ahead of you. Good man.
Thank you for sharing. What got me to stop smoking was a health scare. I wasn't even as heavy of a smoker as you and yet, I still sometimes find myself feeling like I want one. Do you find that those cravings ever really 100% go away?
@@brendanm6921 Those cravings do go away, 100%!!! It took a few years (4-5). I can even enjoy a cigarette, vicariously (sitting with someone enjoying a cig). Recently I saw a video by a Stamford neurologist, who stated that there is mounting evidence of the benefits of nicotine (preventing dementia, alzheimer's), so I've been experimenting with gum. No cravings for a cigarette, whatsoever! Stick with it, and good luck to you!
@@brendanm6921 Those cravings do go away, 100%!!! It took a few years (4-5). I can even enjoy a cigarette, vicariously (watching someone enjoying a cig). No cravings for a cigarette, whatsoever! Stick with it, and good luck to you!
@@brendanm6921 Nicotine gum is fantastic - it's not the nicotine that causes cancer - in fact, in Japan they sell nicotine-infused energy "drinks." It's all the gases and other crap in cigarettes that kill you. Good luck!
Had this video come across my homepage and was shocked to find out you only had less than 300 subscribers while I was watching. You’ve got one more now at least👊
Thank you!! I’ve been posting one video a week for about 6 months now. So I’m brand new and I’m still learning how to make content. Two weeks ago I only had 80. So it’s going in the right direction 🙂 thank you for your support. You’re awesome!
Your comment is 6 months old, that means @SmilesforMiles2024 gained nearly 20 THOUSAND subscribers in half a year? That's nuts. RUclips algorithm is a wild thing.
That being said though, congrats Miles! Love your content! You're an inspiration, and I hope you can keep up the good work! Keep the content positive, and stay positive yourself! Thanks for the vids!
30.2K today, October 12, six months later!
So rude.
I love your energy! The fact that you’re making these videos is awesome
and I hope your channel grows cause I feel you should have way more followers than you do 😊
Thank you so much 😊 that means a lot. I’m just getting started here on RUclips so hopefully it grows 🤞
I, too, was a nurse. About 15 years ago I got addicted to opiates and got my license suspended and was required to go to the RNP (recovery nurse program) in my State. Never went to prison but I did spend a night in jail for taking medication from the hospital I was working at.
I understand and congratulations. It's not easy but it's easily possible.
This is such an unacceptable way to care for prisoners. Incarceration is the punishment, not incarceration followed by endless torture. I’m guessing from your accent and the stories that you’re in America.
I’m glad you’re resilient enough to get this far and I hope you continue in an upwards trajectory until you’re thriving. Criminals are people just like anyone else, and you’re proof that true change can happen. Thank you for sharing on here 👍
Thank you for that. Yes, jail/prison is a pretty strange place. I actually got a lot out of it though. I met a lot of very wonderful and interesting people. It’s ultimately an experience I am glad I had. Oh, and yes, I am in America.
My guess is is California
Yeah I knew US prisons were bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. Getting served rotten food, starving, subjected to unsolicited violence, denied access to medical treatment and visits from family.. and then there's the slave labour.
There's no way these things aren't breaches of UN's human rights. EDIT: Just looked it up, and it gets much worse than what's mentioned in this video. What a godless stain on the western world.
Before you Cry over these inmates who put themselves there...try working as a Correction officer...dealing with these hate filled violent animals
@@cjstone28 yuck, gross attitude. You wouldn’t be allowed to work as a corrections officer in New Zealand with an attitude like that. Thank goodness.
Congrats on sobriety, self growth, ownership, and finding a positive outlet to spread your experience. Sending all the positive vibes, my friend 🤘♥️
Your gratitude is very inspiring and so good to hear 💗
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Dude I hope you never do drugs again
I hope so too. Life is too awesome without them!! 😂🙏❤️
I love the way you’re using your platform. You’re super encouraging. Keep up the fight. I am so sorry you were treated so poorly in prison.
The key to long term recovery is to cease "fighting everything and everyone". ✌️
Glad you were able to get healthy. Thanks for telling your story about Prison. It's good for people to know what it's really like. Appreciate your honesty!
thanks my sharing this dude, ur a special one x
Awe 🙂❤️ thank you ☺️. Thanks for that
Good luck to you, all the best as you move forward in life.
Thank you so much 🙏 I appreciate your encouragement.
love the song! thank u for sharing your story
Glad you like it. It’s a good one that I forgot about for a long time. I love it when that happens. Thanks for your comment 🙂
John Prine has a great song; "Christmas in Prison"
I love John Prine but I hadn’t heard Christmas in Prison. Just listened to it. I’m in love with it. I’m gonna have it on for the rest of the day!!! Thank you SO MUCH for giving this to me! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
crazy how pedos get less time than drug addicts ..
No it isn't, we shouldn't be imprisoned for our sexual attraction, how barbaric, would you arrest gay people?
@@matt4048you’re sick I hope the FBI sees your comment and watches you
@@matt4048reported you fucking weirdo
Thank you for sharing your story. I worked as a peer recovery specialist for the Minnesota Department of Corrections for a while. I wasn’t allowed to advocate for the people in my program. The department only wanted the grant dollars from the state and didn’t care about the program itself at all.
Faking the injury for medical attention is hilarious man. Great idea and great storytelling
Love your videos man! I have some “experience” with the things you went through going through the whole criminal justice system process so it’s very interesting to hear your experience and kind of the similarities and differences between our experiences is what I really find cool. Obviously being a former trauma RN you’re really smart but you also are very articulate and well spoken so it makes hearing about your experiences that much better. Will continue to watch and enjoy your stuff, stay bless my friend 🙏💪❤️
Excellent video. Thanks for sharing your terrible experiences in prison. I'm glad this terrible experience gave you your life back. Best wishes for your continued good health and strength.
Hi Brian, it is awesome to hear that you are feeling better now in your life than ever before. Glad that you can spend the remainder of your prison sentence on House arrest and free of all the bad experiences you encountered in prison. The only positive thing with the bad experiences is that you know how bad it is in Prison and it incentivizes you to never want to go back in that environment.
So glad you started this channel talking about your struggles and victories. It is wonderful that you are working so hard to improve each day.
You seem like a wonderful articulate person. All the best. I see a bright future for you!
Oh man, these stories make me happy to be living in a place like Norway, where we actually treat our incarcerated people as exactly that - people who just so happen to be incarcerated. They've messed up in life, or life has messed them up - no matter what made them get a prison sentence, that is their past. Now they're in prison so that the society can give them the resources they need to change.
Either you are an amazing actor or both sincere and amazingly natural in your delivery.
The moment that jumped out at me was when you dropped in "...nobody's going to see this..." Such a great look into your subtext as you were making this.. As I said, either wonderfully acted or naturally charming.
I'm pulling for you, man. Best wishes.
When a profession struggles so much to attract staff such as the Prison service, they obviously lower standards significantly in order to actually attract ANY staff.
You know the people talked about in this video hate their job & probably lives & project that hatred onto the inmates. Excellent video...Good luck.
To me the worst thing has to be surrounded by the worst humanity has to offer. I can’t imagine having to rely on those people for my safety and peace.
And you're highly unlikely to get safety in prison. Most American jails and prisons are GLADIATOR SCHOOLS!!
Those prison guards abused their authority on inmates.
Pretty sure they all, most all, of them do that
Definitely. It doesn’t help that they are also not treated nor paid very well, less incentive to act humanely. A lot of it is just bad people but unfortunately a lot of others would probably not otherwise if the environment was better. Not trying to excuse anyone’s behavior, it’s just a thought
Corrections officers have almost absolute power over the inmates.
@@vivianelle.6084 Try being one. Might change your mind.
@@mattwilliams4749 try cheching international law, might change your mind
I worked for the Federal Prison system. Your description sounds fair but in all reality - you had it easy. Seriously.
Thank you for sharing this video and information.. I can’t even imagine. I fortunately have never been incarcerated.. but I can relate to you when you were talking about how jail was good when you were withdrawing from the drugs.. when I was in my infancy of recovery.. I had a stroke.. so I didn’t have any access to drugs or cigarettes.. so that made it a little easier on the quitting part.. I can definitely relate to you in a way. I did have a stoke because of my drug use.. I had a defect in my brain.. so when I used.. I was at higher risk than most.. but I stopped using because of my stroke.. but I am staying sober because I surrendered.. and I am done. Keep making these great videos. Have a wonderful day ❤
Oh wow! That is crazy! But the similarity is interesting in that something that was not your choice was the catalyst for getting you away from the drugs initially. Your situation sounds scarier than mine though. I’m glad you made it through and are here 🙂 I really appreciate you sharing and for your encouragement.
@@SmilesforMiles2024 you are 100% correct.. it wasn’t my choice to have the stroke… I know it sounds crazy.. but I am so happy it did happen.. because if it didn’t how much longer would I be in my addiction.. I probably would have died eventually.. but so blessed I had it happen to me. 3 brain surgeries later 💪
I'm 40 and disabled. I live in a care home in Sweden. I totally understand what you're saying about not being able to choose your food. My body doesn't feel well if I'm only eating what I'm served. And not having a real kitchen there's not much I can do about it either.
But I've got a feeling that the food they give y'all in the nursing home is five-star cuisine compared to what most American inmates receive! As for not being able to choose what to eat, beggars can't be choosers.
Sending you love from Australia 🇦🇺 🩵
I was only in county for a day, and I got the dehumanizing treatment from most of the staff there. It's crazy. They act like their job is to punish you further.
SAME!
I was even made fun of and harassed because I had never been in jail before and I didn't know any of the routines, etc.
I kept crying, "I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN HERE BEFORE!!"
"...whatever no one is gonna watch this, " - famous last words, haha! Thanks for the content my brother
Hey Brian (edit), thanks for sharing. Have you done a video on what led up to your arrest, the arrest and going to county jail?
Can you share more about your B felony?
I’m glad you have a RUclips channel. You never know who’s listening…and who you are reaching.
Disclosing our secrets help mitigate the shame.
Im going to make this video right now! :) Thank you for the idea. Should be posted by the end of the day!
The stories of how poorly inmates are treated makes me sad and angry. Dehumanizing is not okay and I can’t respect a country that treats people that way.
How about the victims who are beaten, robbed and traumatized for the rest of their lives!
@@JohnGorman355 Still, we shouldn't stoop to the same low as the worst criminals, at least not for all prisoners. Most inmates are behind bars for small things.
@@JohnGorman355we're talking about CRUEL & UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, but, ok.
@@Libertaro-i2ucorrect.
I , sadly, spent a night in County, and most of the women there were for unpaid DWLS and other traffic tickets!!!!
(Yes, I realize that Jail is different from Prison, but u get the idea)
This is a great life lesson. I have sought out people and experiences, ever since I can remember, in order to gain sophistication and familiarity with perspectives different from my own. As for mine, I was an LAPD officer for 5 years in the 90s, during World War Crack. As part of our academy training, we worked for a week in L.A. County and Sybil Brand Institute. Being behind those walls was as close as I can come to what you experienced, and it was closer than I anticipated. Mainly, I remember the stale air inside, and eating in the cafeteria line that the inmates ate in. I have never breathed air like that in my life, and I intend to never do so again. As for the food, the deputies said that the food was "good", but we ate what the inmates ate. They dished it up for us in the line. It was a ridiculously vulnerable feeling, but it was either eat that...or nothing.
Congrats on your sobriety. Keep up the good work. I wish you the best, and I thank you for the education that you are providing. You are helping people.
Glad you got clean. I never got into drugs, but I did start smoking cigarettes when I was 13, and did that until I was 23. I tried quitting so many times until it finally took at 23. I'm now 47, and have been off cigarettes for 24 years. I know it's not the same thing, as smoking isn't really mind altering, but the addiction is very strong and very real. I can only imagine if it was both that addicting, as well as being expensive, mind altering, and that quitting made you literally sick. The first few years after quitting were difficult. That's how strong that addiction is, is that there was a constant pull. Granted it got easier after a couple of months, but it was still there all the time in my mind for a few years.
I STILL have regular nightmares that I started smoking again, and I have to go through quitting all over again. The disappointment in myself and so on. After a few years, it really did get a ton easier. I don't ever feel a draw for it when awake, except after one of those nightmares, for a few minutes after waking. Then the relief sets in, that I didn't actually start smoking again, and I'm so happy.
I'm guessing you probably still feel the pull to the drugs, but I think in time it'll get easier and easier to say no to it, and to feel the immense gratitude of being clean, sober, and being able to build a life. You're young, you can do whatever you want still. Just remember the horrible food, and you'll know, whatever you're doing, and however basic your life is, that it's 1000x better than that. Every day you're clean, you're digging a deeper groove in your mind, that that is what is normal and good. Every day, just a little bit deeper into that rhythm, and then every day is a win.
Unexpectedly uplifting. Thanks for the video. Stay on your path of redemption.
Thanks for your clarity & honesty. What are your plans for the future? Maybe podcaster?
Wow this is crazy to hear! I always wondered on Christmas if there’s anything special for prisoners, I guess that’s the best they’ve got :(
lol. I know, right!? The institution doesn’t have much to offer as far as holidays go. But I must say that the coming together of the convicts to celebrate in whatever way was available to us was truly heartwarming. I think you just gave me a great topic for another video 🙂 thank you 🙏
@@SmilesforMiles2024 very interesting, yeah I’d love to hear more about that!
Christmas is one of very few times of year that most inmates can get edible food, rather than the slob that's more for livestock than people.
here before channel blows up keep putting out content and your gonna be successful with this
Hey Brian, thanks for making this video and sharing your experience. I think it’s disgusting how good people are treated like animals simply because they suffer from the disease of addiction. I really hope you continue to grow❤️
Congrats on being sober for over 2 1/2 years. It's a long tough road, but you're doing fantastic. Keep up the great work Brian. Looking forward to watching more of your videos.
3. Dehumanizing and disrespecting of the prisoners by the prison staff
2. The food
1. The withdrawing from drugs
Wishing you the best on your sober journey!! You'll get through this.
Congratulations. I was slamming over a 16th of an ounce a day, of meth, 14 yrs ago, when I realized I was killing myself & I quit cold turkey. Although I’ve been in county a couple times & those experiences were miserable, in my quit, I just managed to do it. Then I sold my house & used $50K to get dental implants, & now no one knows I was a meth addict 14 yrs ago. You’ve got this man. You’re way too smart to be owned by the cartels. You go! Go be free & happy.
Thanks for doing this. Best wishes
Good Luck to you !!! New Slang is a great tune.
Keep your head up and don't lose that hope of yours. Love you
9:21 "No one's gonna watch this'." 45k views later.
Really great video man, keep up the good vibes.
Good to see you rising above your bad decisions. Good luck to you. Great broadcast
wow, wow, wow. I'm so impressed by you, Keep going. You're doing great. I'm pulling for you!!!!!!
The nostalgia of garden state! Haha thanks for the song of the weeks. It's a nice little touch
Best wishes!!
I hope you never go back and go on to be a happy productive member of a community..
Thank you. I appreciate you watching and commenting 🙂
Great inspiring video! Thanks. I’m so glad you’re no longer addicted. God has given your life back to you, made whole, as a precious gift. I will give God the glory and thanks for your deliverance. You have now learned that you must never go back to recreational drugs of any kind, including pot. Stay away from the booze also. All of it poison. God bless you!😊
When things appear to be falling apart, they may just be falling into place..
Everything happens for a reason. We may not understand the reason for some
of the events we encounter however the priority is to learn from it.
Easy subscribe.
Your life story is inspiring, man. Wishing you the best.
I got sober in 1991 because I was convinced that it was only a matter of time before I was caught and thrown in prison. I knew I would never be able to handle that (or at least I didn't think so...who knows?). But that motivated me to go to AA and NA and of course other modalities, and luckily I didn't have to detox from opioids, and luckily I never relapsed. And this was way before all the new horribly addictive and dangerous new drugs. I'm so grateful, and it's fascinating to watch these guys who did go to prison. My heart goes out to these guys and gals, not just Smiles, but all of them. But it's particularly gratifying to see how Smiles is handling it, I wish him all the best. I'm now in my late 60's and for 33 years I've been able to drive around not freaking out when I see a cop behind me.
Good on ya man! Good to see that you made it!
Great video. Good luck. Be free. Be happy. Be great. ✌🤠
Never been imprisoned, but spent several years in various homeless shelters. The dehumanization there, was often very similar, especially in California. Anyway, stay clean and be well.
I'm glad ball play didn't come up on this video. Seriously, good video and congratulations! Keep on keepn' on!
I got arrested for a DUI and had to spend 4 and half days in a county jail before I got out. This jail was setup as a 23.5hr lockdown, meaning you are only let out into the pod for .5hr a day. Inside the cell, we had nothing. No books, nothing to write with, nothing. Literally nothing. In that time I was withdrawaling from high doses of Kratom extracts and it was HELL! It was the most miserable time of my life. Trust me, the withdrawal from Kratom (when you are taking very high doses of the extracts) is very painful. It's like having constant panic attacks over and over, solid, 24hrs a day. Your body hurts and is cold and hot at the same time and there is no possible position that is ever comfortable, especially in a cold brick cell. Sleeping is IMPOSSIBLE. Also, the thinking is SO DIFFICULT and painful. Every thought is stressful and is like an anxiety attack, there is no peace, no calm, no comfort. Its just constant and doesn't let up. Awful. Anyway, congrats to you for getting sober. I know that initial 3-4 weeks was absolute misery, being in jail especially.
And should we have sympathy for you? My brother 21 years old was killed at the bottom of our road and died in my arms. I’ve been a psychiatric nurse for 40 years and never met a drunk that had sincere regrets for the lives they’ve destroyed!
Your kratom story scares me. I've used it before and thankfully it's hasn't been a problem.
I've been taking it for eight years without issue. It's the enhanced or altered kratom that they sell in head shops and gas stations that's the problem. They( Big Pharma) is doing this to give kratom a bad name. That stuff is barely kratom. Plus, remember, an addict can abuse most anything. It's the insidiousness of the disease.
Kratom has never given me any relief.
@@aimeebaldwin5600 , I'm sorry, it is the reds that work for me. The red variety is for pain. It needs to be properly activated too. I would love to see clinics set up to help people with kratom. It is rather complicated with the different colors, and helps they give. Also to help people to use properly for the best results. The drug companies do all they can to ruin it, as they can't patent it. It saved my life, and continues to. I used it to come off the plethora of drugs/opiates+++ for trauma and pain management.
Keep your head up, glad to follow your journey, best wishes
Best of luck to you. You have a lot to offer. ❤
I am a defense lawyer in silicon valley since 2000. I have petitioned our Gov two different ones to be on the CDC with stellar references and not even a word. They pick however their " favorites" or handed them out to "their favorites": who ended up making zero changes or were fired for corruption from what made it to the news or the papers. Well I TRIED.
My uncle is a lawyer in the Sacramento area. He was an attorney for the prisons for quite some time. I’m not sure exactly what his position is now but he certainly has stories about how the prisons are. I remember he made a comment about food being served in a horrible nursing home my grandma was in years ago and he had mentioned that not even the prison food was that bad. Yet it was awful there too.
Have known several nurses over the years (4 or 5) that were stealing fent from patients/the facility. One got caught because she went down in one of the bathrooms at the hospital. Her husband was a reformed drug counselor working in that industry; he was also an active fent addict. They had 5 kids. She was good people and a great nurse; hope they’re doing better.
I wondered on to your channel , I’m a former trauma technician that was forced to retire because I refused the booster after the covid vaccine gave me short runs of SVT . I ended up in a deep deep depression and turned to drinking. I pushed my loved ones away and moved out of California. I just started to get my head right and am now in hell far away from my family . I am working on getting back to California and back into the hospital. I think I’ll subscribe to hear more. I wonder if anyone would like to hear my stories. 18 years of trauma medicine gave me many things to talk about.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. My ex-husband ended up in prison after I left him for starting a child pornography ring . So glad I was long gone. What ever happened to him it wasn’t enough. Interesting to hear what it is like. I am glad you have recovered from your drug addiction and moving on. I’m a retired RN and have heard of RNs loosing their licenses but never heard what happened to them. Your videos are very informative. Thank you for sharing these difficult experiences. I wish you well.
I like your videos very much, I had a dear dear friend who finally died of an overdose, Problem with insight and wisdom it doesn't always help.Its like tough love sometimes it works, but frequently doesn't. anyway, God be with you
Good for you on turning it around. I wish everyone in prison was able to have your experience and come out better for it.
Wow really interesting to hear you can serve some of your sentence at home with an ankle montior. Good for you. You seem like a good guy
My top 3 prison negatives....
1. RAPE
2.VIOLENCE
3. LACK OF EXPIRED PICKLED FLAVORED ICE CREAM FOR PREGNANT WOMEN.
The treatment that non-violent offenders get is absolutely wild to me. Ok, you made a mistake, now you're paying for it. Why make reform harder than it already is? Everyone with their pitchforks out, those who vote for capital punishment, forget that prison is for reform. Their mentality still lives in the 1800s when the crime for stealing bread was death.
Also The Shins are so rad. I was my lyrics were as regal and poignant as James Mercer's
A lot of it, when you’re in there, feels like punishment for the sake of punishment. The “reform” part is quite absent. But it’s a really set-in-stone system that is slow to change. There are some good things in certain cases, but mostly it feels really misguided.
I’m watching this in the end of September 2024. I hope you are free now and can put this behind you. I have confidence in you.
Thanks for reminding me of county food - I am diabetic and sometimes feel sorry for myself for having such a strict diet. Now I am grateful it is not the loaf I used to have to eat everyday.
Hey man I am glad that you've gotten better. But I have to tell you prison guards and all the rest of the folks in general that work in prisons do it as a last resort because they can't get any other work. My ex used to live in a little county in Florida and it had a state prison there a women's prison there and then it had three private prisons there and that was like the going job because there was nothing else happening there So I've always seen prison guards as really a very low skill you know job that attracts people with sub 100 IQs hang in there.
So proud of you!
So happy for you! How in the world did you withdraw without help? Isn't that dangerous to do cold turkey?
I've taken prescription opioids and good grief, I wished to be knocked out or worse. Just awful.
Good luck to you! I'm a subscriber, so ill be watching. 😊❤
I totally agree. I have my loved one who is in prison.
The food - recently they had 19 missed meals. In a row. And when we (as family members) complained, they gave reasoning that it was Ramadan. Even if you are of a Muslim religion, you still eat once a day.
In addition, my spouse received no medication for severe health issues. As they say “Take with food”.
Medical care - he has personally paid for surgeries. After 3 years of not getting them, it went to court and the judge ordered for these to be scheduled urgently. It has been 3 years since that court date and nothing is done.
But they did put him into Segregation for writing complaints and seeking legal action. He now has no communication allowed due to that.
Drink more water for a hernia ? That prison staff should be prosecuted.
Great vid man hope your doing well
Keep it up dude!
Trust no celly , dont open up, dont speak to a co, dont steal , dont over share foods , keep shoes on all time , keep your eyes half open , keep your nose where it dont belong , dont say when you get released, be clean , dont call no one a b , if they call you a b , take flight. Dont take drugs , don't take others cigarettes could be mix , dont brag about regrets . Do your time
I worked at long term Acute Hospital in San Diego and we had prisoners as patients being closed to death.
I can’t speak against everyone in the industry, but who would choose to work as a prison guard? You can do anything anywhere, nothing is stopping you, so why do that? I think the position attracts some serious sick fucks. As well as the entire drug and contraband market in prison was created and ran by the guards. Would it be fair to say a prison is the most corrupt place on earth? Maybe
It’s pretty bad sometimes. There are really 3 types. The ones who are strict and by the book but are respectful and kind if you respect them. Those are few and far between. Then there are the ones who are board or burnt out and just seem to have a general disregard for the inmates on every level. That is the majority of them. And then there are the handful of them who seem to be there because they just want to kick people around and treat them like shit, and they know they could never get away with it in any other context.
@@SmilesforMiles2024is there any way I can get in touch with you? I don't have a criminal background but I am a fellow addict.
@@eustab.anas-mann9510 yes. Definitely. Hit me up on Facebook. Brian Collins. My face is the profile picture. Message me on Messenger 🙂
I agree 💯
I worked in prison in 90s , I wasn’t a sick fuck it was just a job for me. Anyhow I went on to do other things after 2yrs. I didn’t like the environment really.
MD here. Nurses are soooo much more important to care...than my ilk will ever be. Meth is bad. But our society is misguided...to send you to prison, all too common and unthinkable.
This was very interesting, thank you for sharing. I wish our prison system was better at reform and rehabilitation for non-violent offenders. Seems like the cruelty is the point sometimes. Heartbreaking to me how they treated your notebook of hopes, plans, and dreams. Wish you all the best.
11:15 I cannot imagine how brutal a prison full of consumed expired pickle ice cream does in terms of lethal farts 😂