Dating Advice (For Catholics/Christians) w/ Amber Rose
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- Full Episode: • TikTok, Dating Advice,...
A supporter asks Amber for her take on the Catholic dating scene...
Amber's Channel: / @thereligioushippie
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Just walk up to a girl and tell her “ I was reading my bible, in the book of Numbers, and I realized…. I didn’t have yours”. Boom! Icebreaker and say Hi 👋
This is golden humor as a bonus Point as well lol
Pretty clever, lol!
11 Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him 13 so that another man has sexual relations with her, and this is hidden from her husband and her impurity is undetected (since there is no witness against her and she has not been caught in the act), 14 and if feelings of jealousy come over her husband and he suspects his wife and she is impure-or if he is jealous and suspects her even though she is not impure- 15 then he is to take his wife to the priest. He must also take an offering of a tenth of an ephah[a] of barley flour on her behalf. He must not pour olive oil on it or put incense on it, because it is a grain offering for jealousy, a reminder-offering to draw attention to wrongdoing.
16 “‘The priest shall bring her and have her stand before the Lord. 17 Then he shall take some holy water in a clay jar and put some dust from the tabernacle floor into the water. 18 After the priest has had the woman stand before the Lord, he shall loosen her hair and place in her hands the reminder-offering, the grain offering for jealousy, while he himself holds the bitter water that brings a curse. 19 Then the priest shall put the woman under oath and say to her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you and you have not gone astray and become impure while married to your husband, may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. 20 But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and you have made yourself impure by having sexual relations with a man other than your husband”- 21 here the priest is to put the woman under this curse-“may the Lord cause you to become a curse[b] among your people when he makes your womb miscarry and your abdomen swell. 22 May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.”
“‘Then the woman is to say, “Amen. So be it.”
23 “‘The priest is to write these curses on a scroll and then wash them off into the bitter water. 24 He shall make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and this water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering will enter her. 25 The priest is to take from her hands the grain offering for jealousy, wave it before the Lord and bring it to the altar. 26 The priest is then to take a handful of the grain offering as a memorial[c] offering and burn it on the altar; after that, he is to have the woman drink the water. 27 If she has made herself impure and been unfaithful to her husband, this will be the result: When she is made to drink the water that brings a curse and causes bitter suffering, it will enter her, her abdomen will swell and her womb will miscarry, and she will become a curse. 28 If, however, the woman has not made herself impure, but is clean, she will be cleared of guilt and will be able to have children.
29 “‘This, then, is the law of jealousy when a woman goes astray and makes herself impure while married to her husband, 30 or when feelings of jealousy come over a man because he suspects his wife. The priest is to have her stand before the Lord and is to apply this entire law to her. 31 The husband will be innocent of any wrongdoing, but the woman will bear the consequences of her sin.’”
Were you reading this part of Numbers?
@@kevinkelly2162 Yes, actually, I was. Being that I actually read the Bible and don't quote it out of context at people, I understand that the verse is not about abortion, actually. I understand that it's about the ancient Hebrews being untrusting of the justice of man, and using the justice of God in this instance to render guilt upon the conscience of the accused woman (assuming she is actually guilty of adultery as implied).
But, by all means, don't let something like nuance get in the way of your very blatant atheist agenda.
Thanks, I will be using that, unironically!
“Just don’t be weird” “be a friend first” “be confident in yourself” sorry but none of this is helpful. It’s like “Eat, laugh, love” tumblr post vibes.
Desperation to be with someone also leads to mistakes
Good post. The secular world says to date and have sex ASAP or else you're some prude while normalizing anything and everything relating to sex and sexuality as long as its debauched and/or disordered. In some Catholic/Christian circles people to much emphasis on finding a spouse ASAP without carefully discerning whether or not they're called to marriage, and if they are to also discern their potential spouses.
I’ve made a commitment with my girlfriend to not have sex until marriage and she was on board with that. I just want to say that this was the best decision we ever made and anyone else who is willing to do this won’t regret it.
I tend to avoid the Protestant phrasing of "waiting until marriage" or "saving myself for marriage." (Not saying you said this, just what you wrote reminded of it.) I always phrase it as sex has its time and place - within marriage. Not married? No sex. It's that simple. If people can't understand that then that's their issue. Ain't rocket science nor 4D philosophy. Not married? No co-habitation. I don't play house.
Do you drink at work? I hope not. There's time to drink and time not to drink. After work either during Happy Hour, with friends at a BBQ, at a sporting event or at a social event i.e. wedding. Maybe have a beer when you eat dinner, but not at work. That's how I try to frame it.
Are Catholics afraid of sex? No. Do Catholics think sex is disgusting? I mean, it can be, but no we don't view sex in general as disgusting. It's just that sex is made for the the confines of marriage.
God bless you.
@@TickleMeElmo55 Guess you are not OK with the LGBTQFAG movement.
Awesome!
Not an easy thing to do, my respect 💪😤
I’m married but in my experience from back when I was dating, there is something I feel like Amber is missing the mark on. Yes, men need to treat women as people and not just a potential girlfriend… but they also need to make their intentions clear. In my experience, a failed dating attempt really only hurts if the two parties are leading each other on because their intentions were not made clear. Sometimes it’s the guy just claiming that he wants to he friends but secretly wanting something more. Sometimes it’s the girl spending lots of time with the guy but secretly she isn’t actually interested and just enjoys having a male friend floating around her. Both sides are capable of leading each other on and the way that happens is by one or both parties not making their intentions clear. The guy needs to let the girl know that he’s interested in more than just friendship and the girl needs to to be prepared to stop leading the guy on if she’s not interested in a relationship.
Isn't intimacy like holding hands, hugging and kissing allowed during courtship? Wouldn't that be a sign that it's more than just an innocent friendship?
Exactly! This whole friendship thing is a charade and everybody knows it lol - platonic friendships are like 1 in a million, and often times one of the parties still “catches feelings” anyways.
@@WolvesBaseballNine Yes but you’re not going to be doing things like that immediately after meeting each other.
@@WolvesBaseballNine I think the OP means the first date where one party is unsure if it's an actual date date. They may just think it's just them hanging out as friends.
@@Alfram I don't believe it's a charade and I'm not sure what world you live in. Though feelings may develop it's still a platonic relationship if the two parties don't enter a romantic/sexual relationship. It's like saying two people of the same sex can't be good friends without any romantic/sexual tension from an outsider's perspective.
As a young Catholic guy (also somewhat recent convert) what she says about her experience at young Catholic events is so true. I just think unfortunately that many Catholic singles just need to chill. I've seen many of my Catholic friends do this to girls (and vice versa many women do it as well). Part of me thinks it's the pressure of a secular society. Good, young, single Catholics are actually hard to find (particularly in the liberal states where I am) so when you meet one that you find even mildly attractive your instinct is to pounce. So I think what Matt said is actually pretty spot on.
Wow this is so opposite of what I experience!!!! I run a Catholic young adult group and have been involved in so many and this is not the culture at all. Dating within the group is actually rare. I think it is because I live in the NYC area where everyone gets married later so people really aren’t looking for a spouse just fellowship.
It’s even worse in rural parts like where I live because there are not a lot of young single Catholic girls here but there are a bunch of single guys. Once any attractive single girl comes to the group the instinct is as you said for the guys to flock to her and it honestly scares them away. I think the strategy is to just chill out and do your own thing and that will distinguish you from so many people.
@@natefechtig7533maybe some mixer or Mission trip is needed to a town or State with plenty more active young Catholic women.
Had a daughter at Franciscan and yep, she had guys who told her she shouldn't want a career, that she wasn't attractive because she was 'unfeminine' for showing her intelligence. Many of the young men and women attending that college treat it more like a marriage mart than a place of higher education. It's quite sad and doesn't seem to be coming from the faculty or administration, but from the students themselves.
Men don't care about a woman's career, education, or any of that. They certainly don't want an overly argumentative sparring partner who's constantly down their throat. Previous generations have misled their daughters into thinking their 20s and 30s are best spent climbing the corporate ladder and making as much money as possible rather than preparing for marriage, and they've truly done these girls a disservice in doing so. While it comes across as harsh to hear that none of that matters to guys, those same guys are trying to do her a favor by telling it like it is.
That's disappointing, but I'm not surprised by the distorted culture that can develop in a counter-cultural place like Steubenville. Ultimately, you cannot take it as a whole, you must encounter people as individuals.
Plenty of guys out there who want an intelligent partner. If a woman has a certain intellectual capacity, is she supposed to be 'dumber' to be more 'feminine'? I don't buy that in the slightest. I am happy to have a college-educated wife who is informed and confident, and can contribute to good decisions. No real leader ever wants LESS capability within his team. I loved to have capable and qualified soldiers under me and watching my 6. It is good to have a smart wife beside me doing the same.
@@FortisEquus
"Men don't care about a woman's career, education, or any of that."
Speak for yourself, most people want a partner, not a trophy.
" They certainly don't want an overly argumentative sparring partner who's constantly down their throat."
Obviously people don't want hostility but the idea that anything other than placid agreement is "argumentative" is a toxic idea from people who are insecure about their own decision making abilities.
"Previous generations have misled their daughters into thinking their 20s and 30s are best spent climbing the corporate ladder and making as much money as possible rather than preparing for marriage"
Actually that makes a lot of sense, how are you going to "prepare for marriage" without gaining some sort of financial stability?
How are you going to be a good spouse if you don't know how to handle any responsibility?
And even if being financially stable and mature weren't necessary components for a modern marriage, then how does an education or a good job stop you from "preparing for marriage"?
What does that even entail?
Because I can tell you that I wouldn't want to marry someone who's never worked, has no education and has been socially cut of from their peers.
@@Grokford because the corporate ladder is not a good guide for growing in responsibility and maturity. Corporatism is a cult - it trains people to be good members, not good people. It creates artificial standards and goals that are divorced from healthy reality. Those who go far in the corporate world are those who get away with being irresponsible by maneuvering blame and climbing over the bodies of the people who got caught up in accountability.
If you didn't realize the corporate world is a farce, not good for learning loving relationships, you've got some serious blindspots in applying Christian charity and the authenticity of the Gospel to daily life and I wish you much grace and luck in escaping the delusion of corporatism and the laughable version of "financial responsibility" in a society where the government has not had a budget in more than a decade, prints its own money like a drunk and then sends its children to kill any government that is audacious enough to propose a more authentic and less exploitative currency. There is no financial responsibility unless you pay off all debts monthly.
You're going to find good and bad men anywhere you go.
Trust me it's much better than being at a huge secular college, where the men try to push sex and sexual contact on all the women. Marriage is the furthest thing from their minds and they don't respect women at all.
Not all of them, but enough that many outbreaks of STIs and STDs happened on campus, such that they had to send a community email.
Also they had to add police officers and counselors due to the rising rates of SA and violence on campus.
I've never been so happy to have graduated. I learned a lot at college but the ferral nature of so many of my male classmates was frightening. Oftentimes I wish I went to a Catholic college instead.
As a 35 year old, who has been putting myself out there in the Catholic circles for the past 10 years, it has not been my experience. I'm glad that it is different for the younger generations 🙏❤️
Aren't the young Catholic girls looking to get married and have kids?
The Gym and Playstation 5 are now at the cheapest they've ever been.
PC master race!
Amber is sweet and I enjoy her content and this episode, but her immaturity here shows.
Why
This point was talked about quite a bit in the show, and the biggest sign of it was her advice about what to do when in a fight with your spouse or significant other. To which she suggested holding hands during those heated moments.
In this video I’d say her dismissive attitude towards men asking her out. Maybe it’s traditional circles that have men who are socially awkward in that way, but it’s a pretty harsh condemnation as a whole. She, and even Matt to be fair, talk about not being ‘weird’ without really defining what that is. I’d also say that there is a value to simply asking a person out on a date. Getting to know them beforehand is a nice thing and it should be done prudently, but I’d argue there’s nothing wrong with being forthwright from the beginning.
@@TheJmlew11 Wanting a man to approach you properly isn't being dismissive and why would they have to define what the word "weird" means?
Being straightforward and being tactless are not same thing.
1. Be attractive.
2. Be attractive.
3. Don't be unattractive.
Guys just don’t be straightforward and weird LOL. That’s all she is saying. I agree with her.
Already married, and her advice is hit or miss. No one-on-one coffee dates "just to hang out" 😩 after rejecting someone.
K this is massively off base. This is modern feminism bound up in a Catholic case. A guy asking about your relationship status is telling you two things: he wants to marry, he doesn’t want to waste his time and risk temptation with a taken woman.
The fact that you recoil and deceive (by wearing a ring) men that are living like this is very telling about your whole approach to dating and marriage.
Awful response.
Well said. Men have traditionally always expressed their interest for a woman up front, rather than pretending to want nothing more than friendship, then resenting the fact they're "just friends", until that man's bottled-up emotions reach a boiling point and the girl wonders what the heck is wrong with him when he becomes distant or spiteful.
That level of dishonesty and evasiveness is weird... Not a guy being honest in his intentions.
A lot of guys ask "are you married/seeing someone?" right off the bat because most guys now have no interest in being "just friends" with women. Men being "just friends" with women is a waste of time and has a high risk of inviting scandal. Better to just ask up front and save both parties a lot of senseless toil and trouble.
Could we phrase it better? Yeah, probably. We men are blunt creatures, please try and understand that lol.
As for "just talk like you want to get to know her," that's what dating is for. And again, men nowadays generally have no interest in being "just friends". It's pointless. You're either dating or you're acquaintances, because friendship between men and women muddies the waters and gives scandal a place to hide and wait to pounce when one or both of you are weak and vulnerable.
Woah woah disagree! I was just friends with 2 men and I helped introduce both of them to their fiancés! Be friends with a girl you have no interest in marrying - she might introduce to your wife!!!
@@CatholicKatherine Chastity is two parts: one part emotional, one part physical. Platonic friendship with the opposite sex is certainly possible, but it's very easy to cross that boundary and enter into emotional intimacy. And after that line is crossed, physical intimacy is nigh unavoidable.
If you're single, I suppose it's more permissible, but I don't see any reason for those who are in relationships or married to maintain friendships with the opposite sex for the reason I listed above.
In a perfect world, men and women could he platonic friends, no muss, no fuss. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak," and all that.
@@CatholicKatherineI tried that and they introduced me to some woman who I had no interest in dating.
"Approach a woman with intentions of not dating at first. Approach with the intention of getting to know her." Okay while that is solid advice for breaking through that initial "stranger" ice the first 1-2 times you meet a girl, time is also a big factor. Guys who take it slow will learn that you have to move quickly because a desirable single woman is usually not single for long. After "missing your opportunity" with several girls because you were taking your time to organically get to know them, you start to lose your patience for that kind of thing. But yes, you are right, the first couple times you meet a girl you shouldn't seem like you're in a hurry--even though you've probably learned by now that yes, you need to be in a hurry.
I was about to fall asleep, but then I saw this piece of gold being uploaded, you don't know how much this helps me! Thank you so much!
I’m just gonna throw this out. Nearly everyone commenting on this thread is single.
I met my husband be replying to his comment on a RUclips video about Christian courtship. No joke. He was Protestant, but as we got to talking, he fell in love with the Catholic Church and me 😉
Now we will be celebrating 10 years of friendship and 8 years of marriage. Two precious kids and hopefully more to come.
So just saying… Might want to strike up conversation on this video 😉❤️
That is so sweet. Now that makes me want to comment more 😂
Thats never gonna happen for me. Im 26 and feel so frustrated with dating and wish I had a beautiful wife and kids already.
@@MB_Biggie_Cheese Dude you're not old, don't give up! You will have a happy family one day
If you're looking for a 'better half' approach her and talk to her like she has the potential to be that better half.
I'm married now and this is how I felt around my soon to be girlfriend who then became my soon to be wife who is now my 'ball and chain'. I gave her the space to grow into the roll by showing her the respect required to fulfil it.
Oh, and go fishing in the right location to catch the right fish. That'll help.
Of course it’s a big deal. It weighs heavily on a man. Rejection isn’t fun. That’s a woman saying that she isn’t interested in connecting with you spiritually, physically, experientially, and that she doesn’t want to have your children. All of that context resides in a simple two-letter word.
I struggle with that. When you eat crow, it hurts. Especially after a handful or two of rejections.
Some men weren’t taught by their fathers. My dad taught me virtually nothing about that side of life. But by the grace of God I’m starting to learn later in life through personal experience and from better men than myself.
It's one reason why women go beserk in their early thirties: no one treats them like a princess when their looks go.
I have a feeling the guys that are asking if you're single have been burned so many times by saying Hey I'm blah blah and the girl goes I'm married or I have a boyfriend
Im confused. 🤔 aren’t guys supposed too be respecting the supposed sanctity of marriage? 💁🏽♂️im pretty sure thats what there doing when questions like “are you married”
I think the idea is that it lacks some social grace for someone to ask if you're married right away. it just seems rushed to skip directly into "you single?" before you even introduce yourself or listen to them introduce themselves. imagine someone walked up to you and immediately said, "hey, are you looking for more friends to hang out with or do you have enough?". Telling people "hey this is what I want" as your very first impression is self-absorbed. You're not catering to them at all, just trying to see if they might be able to fill a role for you. So I think her point is to be respectful and to treat them like a person, don't just ask if they fit your criteria right away.
If 6 ‘5 giga Chad asked her the same thing she’d be all over him. Don’t listen to this cap boys. Simply better yourself to the highest degree for mating value
True lol - obviously character and virtue are important but ultimately looks (and maybe a bit of status) is what will get you the first date with most women. It’s an unfortunate reality but it is what it is.
We are not animals bro,nobody is gonna mate,stop watching fresh and fit
I think so many people are just confused as to what it means to date anymore. There is a difference between "dating" and what my grandparents called "going steady" (dating exclusively or courtship). The goal of dating is NOT marriage. Dating has marriage in mind, but the goal is to learn more about potential spouses, most importantly to learn about the moral character of the other, to see if they would be a person you would want to court. Until you become exclusive, it's OK to go out with other people to find what qualities you like or don't like in a person. Ideally, you would be able to go out with several different people before electing to an exclusive relationship with one of them (I know this is not always possible). I would argue that even courtship's main goal is not marriage, as you're still trying to learn more about the other at that stage (obviously, it could be an end, but not the only one). Betrothal (engagement) would have marriage as the end goal. At this point, it's not a marriage yet, but it's end is marriage, and it should only be called off for very grave reasons.
The idea that you're agreeing to some sort of "pre-mariage process" is completely the wrong attitude.
While I agree that using “are you single?” as an opening line is a bad idea, I also think it’s strange that on one hand Catholic men are criticized for not being forward, intentional, and confident enough to ask women out, we are also criticized for doing it too much.
I also vehemently disagree with Amber’s philosophy of getting to know someone before dating. What is dating if not getting to know someone? I am just not that interested in having opposite sex friends to begin with, so forgive us for not wanting to go that route and potentially waste my time and emotions.
I have to agree. Amber’s philosophy seems to flirt with the secular idea that dating is some kind of special status. Almost as if you are asking a girl to marry you day one.
I’ve started to use the term a “friend I am dating” for a while now. Cause the secular culture acts as if a girlfriend and boyfriend are a couple while they at all legal and spiritual levels aren’t a couple.
So she’s getting it at least partially right. No, you shouldn’t ask if you are single, cause that’s the secular version of asking someone for sex and marriage.
I would argue, that the best approach is to get to know someone as a friend (You’re a boy, she’s a girl that isn’t courting anyone, I think it’s pretty obvious that you are attracted to each other) and then ask to take them out to what is basically a first date. Without mentioning the word “date” to her secular friends.
I know avoiding the word date and girlfriend around a secular audience seems a bit non-straightforward but, seemingly using them creates a lot of scandal for both of you. Until the culture is righted, I don’t want to use terms that are heavily associated in secular society as what Catholics see as sinful.
You forgot to label your disagreement with "this is how I function." I would rather start off as friends and then move into dating if something beyond friendship is seen mutually.
Well I think the issue is that there’s no in between. It’s either nothing or full on. I really don’t think you can have a good relationship with a girl if you feel that you can’t be friends with girls at all. It just seems like you see girls as an object rather than a person.
I agree with you.
Couldn't agree more. I don't have friends that are the opposite sex. I would only enter in relationship with the opposite sex as a means to seak marriage.
This advice is awful. Or as Amber would say, it’s like awful and like, you know like awful.
Did she buy her way onto Fradd's channel? I watched a handful of her videos and they are just laughably misinformed. She's a self-proclaimed "influencer" who imagines she has a "ministry" but really she's just a kid that needs to go get a job. Like, and you know.
At 1:10. That happens to men as well in many churches. Women won't talk to you for a variety of reasons based on their laundry list for a man. I have seen women in their 20s tell me with a straight face they expect a man to own real estate (house or condo), make $200 k or more a year, have all his education done, have a nice car, be ripped, no living with his parents, and be over six feet tall. And none of these women bring a lot to the table themselves. They will have to lower their expectations of a future husband or become one of those church ladies who has her cats for company.
Women's complaints: "Men are just too into me! It's so annoying!" Mens complaints: "I'm constantly reminded by every woman I meet that they believe me to be not good enough, I will never be enough until I am the perfect man, no amount of improvement has been enough and I'm starting to loose hope that I'll ever get there"
To us young guys (I'm 22). The last guy is correct: Dating is a HUGGGGGEEEEE deal. Particularly when you want a very specific kind of woman (Catholic woman who doesn't want sex before marriage as a simple example). The lack of options make it hard because We know that if we mess it up with a particular girl, we may literally never find another girl who agrees with those standards
Ok I'll take this unmarried child's advice about dating and marriage.
Are there any advices besides dont marry jock(for males too, ex athletic performers are considerably impulsive in their relationships and cant be considered truly attached to anything) and sleep with her sisters? What is there to teach, besides trust your instincts .
Age does not limit intelligence.
her experience is similar to mine, even with an age gap.
@@batman-robin-soundtrack Age DOES limit intelligence
At my parish, most of the girls are like super akward. When me and my boys approach them, they act like we just offered them rings😂
Nothing wrong with asking if she is taken. Friendships between men and women don't end well unless there is some distance maintained.
Also, better to make intentions clear.
If I'm asking out a girl because I find her attractive (and I want to get to know her) I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
Exactly. The only reason a woman wouldn't want you getting straight to the point and asking if she's taken is because
A. It implies you're above seeing or sleeping with a woman who's already in a relationship, and/or
B. She wants to string you along for attention, and a direct approach negates this
Christian men would do well to speak in a direct, confident manner with a woman they're interested in. To take an indirect approach by falsely claiming you only want to be friends, hoping to somehow manipulate her feelings so she comes around to liking you, or otherwise being dishonest is not going to work out for you. It never does.
Why are women telling men how they should date ?
As she herself even said. If a girl thinks you’re unattractive or creepy the girl will shut you down ruthlessly.
If you’re handsome and tall and dress well… it’s essentially an automatic yes. So average guys are in a hard situation where they don’t want their dignity stomped on by a mid average girl with an inflated ego
It also needs to be said that though girls tend to hold the keys to sex, men hold the key to the relationship. After all, if men don't approach women women and men are forever single unless they don't swing that way.
If a girl treats you badly and treats another guy well then this means she's showing you her true face and her true personality. She's in fact putting on an act for the other guy. This is the type of woman you avoid.
You know, you may also just want to cultivate better conversation skills. If you're doing what Amber is describing here, of just walking up to women and putting it to them bluntly that you want to court, that's not a gallant or attractive strategy. If you were especially handsome that might work for you, but the problem here is if you don't engage in any pleasant small talk or show a woman that you're generally interested in her well being as your sister in Christ, but rather your actions are implying that "I want to know whether you're my future wife because if you're not I think talking to you is a waste of my time."
And sure guys that are really handsome can get away with having such a knuckle headed approach, but my point is that it is a rude and knuckleheaded approach, and girls will react accordingly if they aren't seeing stars because the guy is incredibly handsome.
That comment is so true hahaha
@@mariemunzar6474 but if you read my comment carefully you'll see what I said was.....if a girl treats one guy badly and another guy well, then she is showing her true personality in how she treats the first guy. She's acting for the second guy, trying to win his favor, but that's not her true character, her true character is revealed in how she treats the first guy. How you treat people you think you can't get anything from is who you really are. And that is a person you should steer clear of, especially when it comes to dating. It even says this in the book of James: If someone comes Into your meeting and they're dressed poorly and they have no money and you say, you get over there into the corner. But if someone comes who is rich and dressed in fine clothes, you give them an honoured seat. Thos shows that your motives are evil.......a person who treats one person badly and another well has a corrupt heart and is not to be trusted.
Women are so precious in every young adult group. Men please understand they are sisters first. I’m also learning too
Advise for dating: go on a trip. Like a big, adventure trip that you can only do when you're single. Bonus points if you Go with friends or siblings/cousins (not parents) . This will accomplish two things: 1) It gives you a maturity gauntlet to complete and prove that you can take care of yourself in situations outside of your comfort zone. 2) It gives you conversation fuel for meeting new people without resorting to "have you thought about your vocation?"
This works. It's part of how my husband caught me.
This is true. I just came back from Israel and it was a formative experience
Bad idea if you are not Finacially stable.
If I’m looking for a wife and I’m in a singles group, why would I want to interact with a married woman? Women get the automatic nice treatment and conversation from people but guys who are looking are supposed to placate you until they figure out your not on the table. Men have to invest so much time effort and starting the entire thing but then we’re told not to seek it out. Women shouldn’t lead men along just for the potential friendship the guy might bring. Men aren’t looking for friends, we’re looking for wives. This girl is crazy. If I’m looking for a wife, why would I want to spend my time and effort on a woman who’s not even looking or god forbid married and just in the way of a man finding a viable woman as a wife.
This was the most discouraging dating advice I have heard.
We’re asking if you’re married because we don’t think it’s appropriate to talk to a married woman. 🤷🏻♂️
Most likely a married or engaged woman will have a ring on their finger. Plus asking if a woman's married immediately is just freaking awkward. Don't do that.
@@TickleMeElmo55 Not always. I've had a couple of engaged/married women at work try having flings with me, and they'd often (but not always) take off their rings when coming by my desk. Or women will simply not wear their ring(s) at work for one reason or another.
While I never lead a conversation with "Are you married?" (literally no man does), women have always been flattered and appreciative for when I've skipped the small talk and gotten straight to the point. I had one woman at work seek me out after informing me she was engaged, and she was grinning ear to ear and gushing over how flattered she felt that day when I showed an interested in her.
Women appreciate it when attractive men are direct in asking "Are you married?", and men (whether they are attractive or unattractive) don't get friendzoned or otherwise have their time wasted when they are direct with their intentions. It's a win-win.
All right, now we actually need a video with this exact same topic but for guys from a Catholic guy because I think his advice would actually be more helpful lol
No one should ever take dating advice from someone who’s not married (or at least engaged soon to be married). Because so far they have failed at dating successfully, because the goal is to be married.
And someone needs to tell these young ladies that “like“ is a specific word used for a specific purpose, and should not be inserted every third or fourth word in a sentence. 😊
I wouldn't go so far as to say they haven't dated "successfully" because part of dating is weeding out people who are not someone you are interested in marrying.
But isn't that like saying priests can't counsel married couples because they aren't married? You can be unmarried and have enough wisdom to be able to guide others.
Also, language evolves and that's okay 😊
This is a fallacy. A female doctor knows more about a male's anatomy than most men. She doesn't have to be a male to have the correct information. She may have a different perspective, but doesn't mean she's wrong. If you disagree with someone, disagree with the logic of their argument, not their status or position or membership of a particular group.
Agreed. Relationships aren’t about knowing facts, like female doctor analogy in your responses. Marriage so incredibly nuanced that after 20 years, I still wouldn’t know how to describe it to somebody. Male body parts and how they work? That’s facts and diagrams anybody can learn. I’m sure Amber has a wheelhouse, but dating advice isn’t it.
I understand what you are saying. But on the other hand, she could still give good advice as what *not* to do. The advice about actually having a real conversation and treating the other person as... a person (and not just a future GF) rings true.
Men and women both can be awkward at first. Don’t judge on first impressions maybe
Whoa! Times have changed since I dated. I have a teenage son and apparently guys are much more straightforward than they once were. It's weird! When I was growing up, guys were supposed to be genteel, polite, conversational, subtle, casual, etc. You got to ease into it! Just be friendly and polite and talk like a normal person and see how it goes.
And wow, I think she gets it. Women indeed have the power when it comes to dating, excluding abusive and domineering men. Women generally do the selecting. They are much pickier and for good reason. Sex is much more costly for them; they should be picky. So yes, women make men better when they let men know what it takes to be with them.
Probably the most sane and balanced post here.
I used to think that women held the power I dating but I've changed my view on this recently. Now I actually believe it's the opposite, that men have the real power. But that's only true if they're men who are not slaves to lust and sex. Guys who masturbate and watch porn are easily controlled by women, they'll jump through hoops trying to get with her because they crave sex. And women know this, that's why they can put themselves into the position of judge and selector. But if you're a man who's overcome lust and has gotten to the point where he does not need sex for happiness, validation or whatever, then the power completely shifts in your favor. I know this from personal experience. When you get to the point where you don't need sex or a relationship to be whole and happy in life and God truly is enough, just watch what happens. Women will come to you, as if drawn by a magnet. It's actually quite and amazing thing to experience. And when that happens you see that true power is earned though self control and discipline and that its you who holds all the cards, not women. But just like uncle Ben said to perter Parker in spiderman "With great power comes great responsibility" you gotta use this power wisely and not abuse it.
Dating is over rated. People gets attracted to the looks of a person first and they become infatuated to pursue it. I agree with her, try to know the person first. A few dates may not be enough and pray for discernment.
Holy moly this combox is cringe.
We got one poster suggesting to withhold marriage in your twenties to "experience life" (I can only imagine what this means) and build a career, and then marry in your thirties, or something like that. We got people who think dating is only for "to get to know you" stage (I mean, to a degree it is). We got people who think being friends with women is will create scandal. You then got your r/CatholicMeme guys who took one too many sips of MGTOW using Giga Chad seriously
Here's a suggestion: Get out in the real world, choose kindness and be friends with people regardless of their sex. This is called being social. Sometimes relationships start off within friendships. Sometimes you see a cute girl and you ask her on a date. Sometimes that works out. Sometimes she's a bad fit and you move on hopefully within a few months.
Edit: Also, when men approach women at these Catholic/Christian social groups and immediately ask if they're single/married it's ironically viewing them as a means to an ends. It is a selfish action in the sense that the question only values them by viewing them in a myopic light. Oddly, it dehumanizes them.
It's eerily similar to when people date for the sex and not without much intentions on moving to marriage and procreation. Amy the single Catholic isn't Amy the Catholic who works in education who likes bowling and B-rated horror films, but Amy My Future Spouse Please Date Me Let's Pray The Rosary Right Now. Like, chill, bruh. I know all those Catholic husbands wearing suits and sporting a full beard at the TLM with their veiling wife and 5 kids are your heroes, but you ain't there yet.
I want to add that there are "dates" - casual dates where there's a potential for romance, like a friend setting you up for coffee one Sunday afternoon with Bill, and there's "dating" when there is romance where dating is seen as the road to a potential marriage. If one is dating for at least 1 year seriously, and the question of children hasn't been brought up then it should. If one party isn't for having kids it's best to cut ties after that single year.
One paragraph in and this is my favorite comment already.🤣
What Neil said there is 1000% true, and yes, I do always feel like I'm going to be a creep by just trying to get to know someone, or even sending a follow request on Instagram makes me think I'm going to make her feel uncomfortable
@@TraditionalHippie yea I just always overthink weather I'm reading someone correctly
That's one of the many side effects of purity culture.
If you treat sex as something impure, and everything leading up to it as morally suspicious then people are naturally going to start viewing any romantic advance at all as morally dubious.
The last time I asked someone out outside of a dating app my entire body seized and I couldn't move for a bit.
@@Grokfordvery late reply but couldnt agree more its like so many catholics think an ounce of romanticism is somehow evil and we should all act like monks whilst simultaneously trying to get married
Amber Rose doesn't understand, if you aren't available and interested then single guys aren't interested in you. Its a waste of effort.
How many of us have made the mistake and wasted months on a woman before assuming we'll take it to the next level. "Oh...I don't love you like that. Let's just be friends." Thanks lady, after all that time, effort, and money.
Yes 6:29 that’s right. Nowadays it isn’t looking for a husband or wife. It’s a lot like applying for a job and the person has to be everything to the person they are looking to be with. Many men can’t see themselves with women who they can’t have sex with.
Define weird. Please. Men can turn into women and denying that is considered weird.
Topic: Walk up to the girl, look her in the eye, stick out your hand, and say, “Hi, I’m [your first and last name]” like she should already know who you are. As if you were saying, “Hi, I’m Jesse Watters.”
Off-Topic: Matt, why is your Oz cutout upside down and backwards?
NEVER TAKE DATING ADVICES FOR WOMEN SPECIALLY YOUNG WOMEN !
That's a good rule to stick on to.
But I would take this as an exception...cuz ...You get to know new likeminded people when you become friends with a Girl tho you have no chances with her ( as she says)
I see this going around a lot. Why would you say men tend to disregard women’s advice on dating? We are literally telling you what we prefer, and we know how women work better than you do, since we are one and hang out with others all the time. Genuine question
Women often over look what attracts them because it's for the most part subconscious ,unexplainable@@popuri48
Wait can I ask where do people live that this is the culture??? In the NYC area the groups I’m a part of this is not it at all!!! I think though that’s because it is so rare here to get married in your 20s everyone knows you’re single. Also if you’re married chances are you’re not part of a young adult group.
pretty much every dude has done the 'nice guy' befriend her routine and ended up in the friend zone which is why they aren't wasting their time with it anymore. should a religious woman who wants to be married sleep with an atheist who wants an open relationship? no, so do your part and communicate your interest and expectations up front so nobody wastes their time.
I think being honest is important, but also remember that the woman is a human being. When you meet, you should want to be wanting to ask about dating, and getting that off the table. But once that's done, and if its not successful, don't just slink away but keep chatting and try and just get to know them as a person.
As a guy who went through a weird dating phase, to say the least, I still hold firm that guys shouldn't try and just be the woman's friend and try and get her to warm up to you. Chat for a bit, the first time you meet, ask her out and see if it works. It works? Great, move forward and stay Chaste. It doesn't? Great, you've got a new potential friend.
ruclips.net/video/j5sYn76ImjY/видео.html
It seems like the implication is that to be able to date you need to be confident and look attractive. But if the thorn God has given you is to be insecure and unable to be in shape, then maybe most of us deserve loneliness.
Sorry but I find this very bad advice. Of course, we want to know if you are married or not. We don't want to be a friend with someone else's wife. We don't want to chat with women pointlessly who have no intention of dating. I understand that dating comes with commitment, and it makes people afraid, but it seems like Amber is a bit immature to commit.
Jeez she can be a friend and introduce you to your wife. I’ve done that for two of my male friends. Your loss.
@@CatholicKatherine But you are single (yes, checked your Instagram) so it doesn't really prove anything that you introduced some friends to other women. It is a nice thing to do though, never happens in my neck of the woods. I was writing about talking to a married woman. Which is a huge no-no.
@@CatholicKatherine good tip.
I’m extremely avoidant and have no hope anymore.
My friend, a young professor at university, went out for coffee with a colleague. He gave her a side hug, they sat down ordered coffee, talked, all that jazz. 9pm that night he gets a text from her: "Why did you hug me?" He replied, "Just thought it was the thing to do." She replied, "don't every put your hands on me like that again."
He's now afraid that she'll go to administration and get him fired for "sexual harassment." THIS is why men WON'T date. We're not going to get our hearts broken and lose everything we've worked for all over a stupid bint...not again.
I don't think any guy actually would skip hello and say "are you single?" before anything else, if they are then obviously stop doing that. That's impulsive and doesn't display any attempt at conversation skills, which is an obviously desirable trait in anyone man or woman.
You will be labeled a creeper very quickly if you seem to be "on the prowl" no matter how good of a man you may be. If you strike up a conversation with a woman and it goes well then after a bit of talking you could invite her out on a date, just bear in mind you will be in the same parish potentially forever so don't be weird.
Well, as a 26 year old man, I can say I am one of those people who ask right off the bat, if a girl is married or dating. I have zero interest in making new friends, because most "Friendships" do not have the type of substance that I am looking for. I am a well traveled man. I have lived in many states, I've moved around a lot. I've been to 5 different high-school's, I meet so many people and I have talked to many women that I have interest in dating. I don't want any new friends, I really only like the small circle of reliable friends that I have in my life right now. Chances are, we're not going to be on a deep friendship level anyway, because most girls just don't care about the stupid things that I'm into. I also have the sentiment of not wanting to waist my time. Why would I want to be friends with you, in a deep personal level, if you are married? The temptation of lusting and adultery would be running high. I'm not saying men and women shouldn't be friends, but from a male point of view, I don't agree with this woman. She is super cute, and I would definitely want to chat with her, but does she play Fallout? Does she like talking about the lore and storytelling within that series, just as an example, perhaps you don't like to geek over Fallout. Well, it could be any movie or game series that you can use, that you may geek out over. But I don't think, she would watch TK Mantis videos on Fallout and also stick around while I am gushing over classic car's and why a HEMI is called a HEMI. Lol. We just would be speaking different languages.
When you are married, that still persists with your wife, not caring about your silly passions, however, because you are either dating a woman or married to her, she will naturally start having interest in some of those things, only because YOU like them, not that she genuinely does. Her goal here is to impress you. Same applies to us guy's. You'll start "liking" things that your woman is into. I just don't feel that this applies at all, when you are just "friends".
Just a thought...
Men mix up confidence with aggressiveness.
Dudes, just make sure you don’t go to deep without making your intentions clear, otherwise you will end in the friendzone and it’s pretty hopeless once you’re in it
People used to hang out in larger friend groups and get to know each other. Sometimes people would couple up, and sometimes they’d date more than one person within the friend group. Dating today is so strange to me.
See here all catholic men who want to marry! If you cannot find a catholic woman at your parish, and it is not an option for you to find her elsewhere, your only other option is to go out in the "wilderness" (secular world) and find yourselves a trad influenced or trad-leaning secular woman to convert. A woman like this is someone with a conservative background, or who wants to be a housewife, or has housewife hobbies. My current boyfriend of 7 years is a very masculine man and he knew instinctively, when he was a protestant 7 years ago, that the only way he would find a good Christian woman would be to find a decent woman and make her Christian. He went on the internet and found me. We had both prayed to our respective Gods for a man/woman of God to marry. I was a MUSLIM back then, and was longing for a husband. His apologetics was so on point he converted me in under a month into protestantism, and a year or so later he discovered catholicism and converted me then too! Now we are both attendees of a trad parish, catechumens, on our way to be recieved into the church. And after that you bet we will marry and have kids! And we are both in our early thirties! So do not sulk and be discouraged, take up your cross and do the hard labor of transforming a woman into what God made her to be! And be willing to face whatever fallout, persecution and backlash that might mean for you and her. If you cannot find the answer around you, CREATE it. You know what you want, that is your vocation. Go out and make it happen if it is not landing in your backyard. You know instinctively these are grim times with very few trad women. So this IS the way if nothing else works. Men are not to passively wait, they are in the offensive, they are conquerers! Good luck!
And what if that doesn’t work?
@mz3735 I love your story! If you don’t mind sharing, how did the long distance relationship work? And how did it transition into real life?
Dating advice: DON'T take dating advice from women. They don't know what they want.
Men accept while women like to consider options. Same exact problem, because males are cheat more likely instead of getting divorce. Dont consider listening to therapy session of christian church members, they have libido of raging sensualists who consider everybody in their life to be spiritually sensitive to their personality. In reality they are morons to every sensible individualist with diploma beyond basic grades.
For example this raging pretiesh lunatic is not hard to please if you hold knee and propose marrying because she likes to consider sexting and live like normal teenagemom would. Males are not that easy for woman, especially for goodlooking 'wifematerial' who consider holding only one arm in both hands, her fathers and husbands. When looking with men for possible engagement, they consider if monetary rewards are there and she can finally stop reading new marketing departmen's job application guidelines as there is finally solution to whoring for jesus. Its money and good luck with rest. Normal hard working every day bitches are easier to please. Get body of greek god, suck dicks in threesomes and babysit her sisters kids for her to go out and cheat with normal chumps to not let you reproduce that easily. Some overly represented types are not included, these are averages without any bad lipsynching even.
Don’t be so melancholic
@@dwightschrute900 Hi, Dwightypoo!
I had a coworker admit he had a crush on me. I ended up turning him down but still tried to be nice about it. The main reason was I didn’t feel ready for marriage and he wasn’t Catholic or open to Catholicism. Any advice for situations like this
Here's another pearl of wisdom for guys - observe the girl from a distance for a while before you approach her (and no, I don't mean that kind of "checking out")
Can you be more clear as to what that means.
@@TheJmlew11
Like look at how she behaves before you are emotionally (let alone physically) invested. How does she behave in non-dating situations? How does she react to unexpected situations which take her out of her comfort zone?
I'm disregarding this entire segment because she said "yeet".
Not great advice...
At 1:34 he says H*ly Cr*p which I don't think is appropriate to say on a Catholic show and then 4:35 did she just suggest that it's okay to cheat? If you don't like someone, break up with them.
Whenever I’ve tried this they just ignore me.
Women are opportunistic lovers. Money, muscles, or mad-charisma...even then it's not a guarantee. Look what just happened to Tom Brady.
I’m a 36 year old woman and single. St. Anne, please intercede for me to have a good Catholic husband someday.
Oh boy I heard this and realized that I’m really glad I’m not single because I would do all of these things things
As a catholic man I lost interest on approaching a girls because women never approach men.
I am tired about always make the first step and I am not the only one who thinks this.
Cry about it
Women are taught to talk with men they have interest in and to show that they have interest but to allow the man to ask them out. If the man doesn't ask that could actually be a sign the man isn't interested in a relationship with you. I remember waiting to be asked out by people I liked and finding out later that they didn't like me back. One of them started dating another girl. Another one never reciprocated if I tried acting interested. I would try acting flirty and he would ignore it and/or not even realize I was trying to flirt. So I prefer for men to take the initiative most of the time.
@@mariemunzar6474 Yep... that's what gender equality looks like now.
You use it when it's comfy.
@@floshi6519 we are equal people but have separate roles in life. If a man doesn't want me no use in me wanting him. It's hard enough as it is. A man wanting you is the bare minimum for a relationship to even begin.
@@mariemunzar6474 I could say the exact same sentence for a woman.
Dating advice these days? Don't. That's the best advice any experienced person in this world could give you. Turn and run men, cause all these Catholic girls have the same standards as any other out there. If you ain't six foot with a good paying job and a nice ride, you ain't enough in her eyes.
What a doomer
Alternatively, face the possibility of rejection and allow yourself to be made stronger and more confident through the discomfort. Do you really want give in to the fear of not measuring up to some random person's standard, however attractive she might be? Let's get humble, acknowledge that our fear of rejection absolutely pales in comparison to God's embrace, and simply do our best to meaningfully connect with someone whatever the outcome.
Jeez bro who hurt you
Poor you
@@lmmn3164 ok buddy
While I agree it's poor form to seek relationship status immediately, there's no reason to maintain relations if there's no availability. No reason to simp or torture myself. You don't need to be close friends to go to the same church. She seems to be coming from a place of wanting the attention without the next steps. That is a waste of a guy's time and energy.
Correct. The sooner men stop simping and providing free attention to women, and start being direct with our intentions, the sooner women will be forced to take a little accountability and put in the work themselves. Women are flooded with attention and validation on social media, dating apps, etc., and it's frankly setting both men and women up for failure.
Don’t ask a fish how to catch a fish.
Never take dating advice from women. Everything she said is nonsense. Lol
I literally froze up when I read “Amber Rose” lol.
Shorty isn't dating and isn't married lol not a great place for advice.
@Oliver Jones I wouldn't say that
She got engaged in 2023, so…
This girl is good for politics. 😂 She has opinion on everything, but in short and surface level only.
Men, all you need to know is that if she finds you attractive right out of the gate, there is nothing you can do wrong
I think a key to dating and attracting women from my experience is being confident, and being complementary towards the lady, in a genuine way. It’s key to life in general, uplifting someone and looking for the good in them is always relevant, and reverent.
I would say stop thinking too much about it. Talk to her like a NORMAL person because that’s what she is. When you’re thinking too much about whether or not you’re acting right, you’re not going to be acting natural and you might come across weirdly to her.
I’d rather have a girl make the first move
This advice was so refreshing, laid-back, and to the point! P.S. Any guidance for determining whether or not someone is of sound moral character? (e.g. doesn't drink excessively, use drugs, or engage in criminal/unethical behavior)
I’m glad this wasn’t the Amber Rose I thought it was
I like her but I disagree with like half of what she said. Young Catholic women in the USA don't know what they want and play games with just about any guy who's interested in them. Until their like 29 and they realize time is almost up. Sucks that it's like this. Really does.
Time is almost up for what? You realize theres like a life expectancy of 80 in the modern age right!,
@@Arginne fertility decreases drastically the older you get
I tend to agree. If men go through all the work to better themselves then women should also stop thinking you're princesses and queens. They ain't. Young Catholic women are no different until proven otherwise.
Though if a woman does meet her spouse in her late twenties or early 30s time isn't up - just that they have a smaller window for fertility.
I never did that and I sick of men saying I am a player or a friend zoner, or tramp or I just picked a career because I could not find anyone who want and actually meaningful relationships. I was never attractive enough for the suppose good guys, I never just had hook up after hook up and I only friendzone someone once when I was 18 because he friendzoned me first three years eariler, he was actually still dating someone, he was not my religion and he could not have children. I do not give a flying fig about a career. No one and I mean no one talks about the people who did everything right and there never been anyone around for them to even have a relationship. I have to live with the fact that I will never have children which I wanted so bad and I wish that I was told as a child that I couldn't have them to because I would have never desired them and would not feel as sad as I do now, which I will probably feel for the rest of my life, which I hope is short because the sadden is horrible. Then I constantly have to see people saying that I am a trash human being for not being able to find anyone.
Loreto Publications has 2 wonderful books on this topic! 1) The Wife Desired 2) The Man for Her
Would be great to interview Dinah from catholic wife, great channel and few about traditional Catholicism mainly addressed to women, because traditional catholic channels for men are a lot thanks God😊
25 is too old for a woman to still be unmarried.. Stop trying to normalize getting married at an old age.
Thanks for laying down the law of the land
You're probably a 40 year living in his mom's basement who has never touched a woman.
😂🤣 I can’t wait for you to tell my wife this who was 28 and I was 33.
I guess she broke the rules 🤷♂️
@@claytonhall989 Exceptions don't disprove the general rule. In the Bible you had women giving birth in their 80s. Are we going to tell women it's okay to wait til their 80s for children?
@@WolvesBaseballNineHuh? If you’re trolling, you’re doing a masterful job.
I fail to see “The Rule” in the Bible nor do I see the correlation between two people who differ about 60 years in age.
it’s so weird how we’ve all forgotten the “making friends” part…
I don't like how girls these days say the word creep. Don't know why she brought that word up for.
It's their way of shaming unattractive guys for having the audacity to approach them. But hey, at least the use of shaming language helps us guys differentiate these shallow modern types from those Catholic women who are feminine, supportive, and inspirational.
Because the opposite sex are WAY TOO PICKY in choosing their men. Humility goes both ways
6:30 was really good. Dang
I’d say these are pretty good secular dating tips as well. They are pretty common sense but good nonetheless, because I guess some guys go around asking girls if they are single right off the bat, which is kind of a lame way to approach a girl whether that’s your intention or not.
People who ask if a girl they're interesting in is single immediately tend to not have good social skills. They're relying on texts and certain passages without thinking through the concepts presented and how they relate to real life situations. They're also the type of people who can't "just be" - just BE single and BE okay with, pick up hobbies that they're fine doing alone, and hang out with friends to socialize and just have fun.
They're the opposite side of the coin of people who date just to date because feelings/want sex/scared to be alone or whatever. In this case, they want to date just to date because "I need a spouse." Yes, that is the whole POINT of dating but they're going about it awkwardly.
Walking up to a girl for the sole reason to be with her for courtship and dating purposes was normal in the fifties so I suppose those boys or young men are just really traditional
Was that the norm?
I'm not sure I believe that.
People have always been people and people have always wanted friends.
Besides, if they're acting that way they're not traditional, their perspective is warped by incorrect information.
Whenever I asked a girl out and she told me that the most I'd ever be is a just a friend, I always said sure, friends is fine with me.
After 76 years, I ended up with a lot of great and wonderful women friends in my life , but never a wife. Basically some guys have it and some guys don't and if you're a guy that doesn't have it, you end up dying alone. That's life and that's just God no matter how good of a Catholic man you are.
6:24 this is a brilliant point.
Going to have to put the model of Australia on the shelf in the correct way. Little disrespectful
Hey Matt, do you have any videos series that are similar to Cameron‘s Among the Lilly’s Sex series videos that are for men?
my humour is dark af will still work??
Hey can you start getting interesting people on your program again?
I've meet Catholic people let hangout talk about about god