It took one girl. One girl broke my heart and changed me forever. I started going to the gym, working on myself, get a better job and it started as me doing all this to try and make her regret leaving me the way she did but it turned into me just wanting to better myself further. Now here I am.
@Evidence-Based Health UK yes. And most of these women have silicon implants or have no bubs or have sagging bubs. They have been pounded multiple times and they got a very very loose pussy as well. And also most of them are broke and live off a man's stupidity of spending on women. Also add to that tons of make-up and fake lips and what not.
I wasted my teens and 20’s being insecure, I grew up with abusive parents telling me I was useless, it really affected all areas of my life and now I’m very far behind everyone else. If you’re very insecure, seriously look into handling it, if you saw how my life is, you seriously wouldn’t want it
I understand my friend, I’m 47 and I’ve never had a girlfriend nor the prospect of one, I’m insecure because basically all these years I’ve never been able to get my money 💰 up , I only make about 33k a year and I’ve always worked and did the right thing but I just can’t get ahead man. And I’m not really physically attractive either so that’s that.
@@modalsoul6511 I'd rather have that than losing even more self esteem AND time Cucking to a female whom takes advantage of you and yr resources. Women don't always sniff out low self esteem Alpha Males with $$. They will attach to a low esteem broke man just for their own desires. Think about that guys.
Now you got a chance to worry about the world you can create for yourself, taking small steps for attainable and if you are intentional with everything, each victory will boost your confidence and hopefully erode your insecurities. Don't give up!
It is irritating to be told about being too needy from people who might behave the same way if they didn't have as many options as they do (as you yourself pointed out in your video about why dating sucks).
People are strange when you're a stranger Faces look ugly when you're alone Women seem wicked when you're unwanted Streets are uneven when you're down. Jim Morrison
I started going to the gym 6 to 7 times a week for the past 2 months I’m was seeing real results, so couple nights ago I went out to 2 different nightclubs and I got rejected by every single women I approached and now I’m back in that dark place I literally got drunk all day eating junk food and pizza now for the first time in 2 months I haven’t go to the gym in 2 days because I’m extremely depressed and I don’t really know the point of living anymore but I will keep fighting cause I genuinely believe there is someone out there for me so I won’t give up hope.
Clubs are the worst place you could have gone to meet women under your circumstances. Women are not going there to meet men. Mrs. Ryan has a video you should watch about where you can do better meeting women. Remember any interaction that goes well is a win even if you don't go on a date or find a girlfriend. For one, meeting women can lead to meeting other women, and so can making friends with other men. Moreover, if you never had any luck with women before, get ready for this truth bomb. Working out is a good thing, but it can take years even with a deliberate effort to succeed with women. Working out is in and of itself, not going to solve your dating problems, it helps but lack of success with women is always caused by multiple, interlocking and mutually reinforcing factors. You'll have to figure out what those are. I know this, because I was, and still am in your shoes even though I had been married. I understand how you feel, and there's more men and women too who understand how you feel because they too are having or had a hard time finding a suitable partner.
It’s not that I’m afraid to a Approach Women. I’m afraid to get labeled a creep and potentially have law enforcement get involved just cause some woman doesn’t like being approached
The comment section has lotsa vulnerable, honest confessions. I respect that a lot. It makes all of us feel less alone in whatever it is we're struggling with.
It's really hard not to be insecure or needy when all your life you've been unsuccessful with nearly 99% of women and still a virgin at 27. I think what makes it worse is that I've tried so hard and still end up failing. I've been working out 5 times a week, counting my macronutrients, getting haircuts biweekly and drastically improved my style the last 2-3 years. I've began going to therapy and am going to get a life coach. I hope to finally turn things around in 2022, but I really don't know what more I can do. I think it's because I'm short.
how tall are you? There is much more of us like this than you probably think. Im 27 too. And I agree. I had enough of rejections and stupid attitutes towards me (indirect). I dont give a flying f*** about broads anymore. I usually like videos of CR but not this one. It feels like these things are black and white. Like it wasnt for the fact that many women have too high standards. Even the average/under average looking ones. Man it's just crazy. I also did so much in the past, going out of my comfort zone often. And yet nothing. Im introverted and shy. But there are much more shy and introverted dudes than me.. that are doing much better and have results just because they are better looking/tall. And their effort was even much smaller.
I don't think it's about the hight, size or how you look. Women want men that are secured financially without their contribution. There is not ugly rich man.
Learned this the hard way growing up: I'd chase the girls that had no idea how to think about me to disinterest and was cold to the girls who genuinely were interested in me. I thought this was how you were supposed to play the game but honestly it's draining on both sides. You feel horrible because you're not getting the results you want and the girls end up ranging from disinterested to straight "get this creep away from me". The more you obsess, the higher the disinterest.
She gives advice about personality and what you should do but at the end she is getting smashed by tall hot men but she doesn’t want to tell you the TRUTH, the main issue if you can’t date is your LOOK. Most important is your height and face in dating as a man.
@@grumpoggo2636 hit him with the truth. He's an incel. He thinks all women are getting smashed by "Chad". God I hate that name for a stud. It's so stupid. Courtney's fiance looks like a completely normal guy, and she doesn't strike me as the cheating type.
@@Lo-to7zh you need to go to the country, in the city most women are sallow and looks is the second most important factor, keep in mind that the cost of living is a whole lot higher so the competence is fierce thus money remains the number one factor. In a more traditional environment you'll have more success, I guarantee you or move to another country such as Colombia, Brasil, Argentina, Thailand, South Korea, etc where feminism hasn't rotten that many female souls. Good luck with that.
@@Juggernaut1972 I, on the other hand, actually have a cousin name Chad, who is and actual "Chad" and he's 6'2" 240lbs and looks like Lebron James. He gets like 70% of women . I on the other hand, am 5'10" 195lb amateur Boxer, I only attract like 1 out of 3 women I talk to( alot of them are married or have boyfriends). Am I jealous if him, no! Do I get rejected, absolutely a majority of the time. Do I care, not really, cause I know I'm a man of substance and just do me, and I am as happy as a pig in shit. Alot of women see my cheerful, happy-go-lucky , bubbly attitude, I guess it intrigues them. I'm just an ok looking physically fit guy who's a rascal.
that highlighted mindset of going on a date to see if you like the other person, and not being there to try and make them like you has completely changed my dating life for the better over the last few months. Preach!!!
Good on you for not sugar coating it Courtney. As men, at our core, we like getting shit done, including self improvement. Any guy who says otherwise, is in denial.
This last one is really the biggest challenge, what can I change/improve to become the "best version of myself" while staying authentic and true to myself? Some things are obvious (everyone should exercise, develop good cleanliness and hygiene habits, etc.), but others less so. Am I actually doing myself a disservice by trying to be more charismatic (or at least conversational) in social settings? When I try something new, am I genuinely interested or do I just want to relate to people better? I feel like this is one of the hardest yet most important things to figure out for guys who struggle with self-image.
We often aren't aware of things we'll enjoy until we try them. For example, I've seen a number of husbands agree to do ballroom lessons because their wives really wanted to and then enjoy it more than the wife. It's only if you keep doing something you've tried but really can't find a way to enjoy that you're not being authentic. If you do like it, then you've just discovered something about yourself that you didn't know before. But I also think people can lose sight of what's truly core to oneself vs what's just a minor thing. You may find being more conversational challenging but I doubt you think "being awkward in conversation is really a core party of my identity". The mere fact that you don't seem happy about not being a better conversationalist screams that it's not really integral to who you are
As long as you're actually trying something as opposed to just pretending, it's being authentic. If you're trying to be more charismatic, then you're actually practicing so that you will be more charismatic in the future. You have a goal for yourself and you're trying to change yourself to reach that goal. That's being authentic. Being inauthentic is pretending to be more charismatic with just the person you're trying to get into bed with, but with other people, you just drop the act. You have no intention of changing who you are, you're pretending to be something you're not just to get something. As for trying something new, since it's new, you have no idea whether you're genuinely interested or not. If it turns out you're not interested, then just drop it. It was a genuine attempt to try something new, so totally authentic, even if you're just jumping on a bandwagon. But if it turns out you don't like it, but pretend that you do, then you're not being authentic.
I think being needy or clingy is something can be a phase you go through. Just recently I had a very strong infatuation with a girl & I started to become needy with her but she never picked up on this but I did. Then I just suddenly snapped out of it. In the past I’ve been incredibly needy & the girl you desire the actual desire becomes a mental prison it effected every area of my life badly.
I've achieved so many things in my life, things that others could only dream of, but getting a decent gf has been my Achilles heel. Don't think I'm displaying anything you mentioned, and don't think I'm ugly, but it's a CRAZY dating scene. I've almost all but given up.
@@maszk9743 Grew up poor in the hood with adhd, managed to get into my state's best xray school, graduated with honors and now work for a world renowned hospital. I hear ya, single life is great and every time I try to date my life fills with stress from the craziness out there. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm flying solo, although unwillingly. Would love to get hitched to a good girl, but the more I try the more impossible it seems.
"why men are not successful with women" the truth is it may not be your fault. Biologically most men are attracted to most women, but most women are not attracted to most men. 5 minutes vs 9 months to reproduce. Supply and demand. Human nature. If you didn't score consistently with women in high school and college forget about a woman ever being truly physically attracted to you. If you don't want an economically beneficial / eventually sexless marriage just stay single. Most marriages throughout history have been for economic reasons and not love. True love is incredibly rare in the real world outside of Hollywood.
@@InsaneOaf I agree with you on a lot of what you said, but I don't have much problem attracting women. It's attracting the RIGHT women. I attract a lot of uglies, and the pretty ones I attract are psychos. The pretty ones that are not psychos, they're harder for me to attract than attracting a dodo bird. Some may argue that these women are an endangered species, and I could agree. At my age though, 38, the hunt is too exhausting. So living a very fulfilling and fun single life is not a bad idea at all.
I've always thought I had good things to offer a woman in a relationship. However, women seem to disagree. I spent many years trying to figure out why, never did, and finally decided to spend my time, money and energy on other things. I gave up on women.
Yes! I used to be super insecure, not thinking I was good enough. When I started working on myself I noticed the quality of women that where attracted to me increased as well. I am becoming what I want to attract. Great points Courtney!!
One thing I would add is inexperience. Ive been meeting and talking to people for a long time now but never knew how to approach and be funny/interesting towards the opposite sex. I knew internally that I am a great guy, I just never knew how to express it. Failure after failure after failure and I'm still improving. Life's a journey not a destination and failure is a part of success not a lack of it.
Honestly, I don't know about that. I've seen countless girls put up with (and enable) all kinds of morally reprehensible behaviour (more times than not the guy is tall, muscular and unfriendly and there are always plenty of orbiters waiting to treat her well). I believe girls get a consolation kick out of the drama and the attention, so they win whilst looking like the loser.
They are the ones you should stay away from because they won't like you if you aren't mean and controlling, they crave something you aren't offering and will just leave you for that.
A person will be with you because they want to, not because you convince them that you are the best candidate. After watching so many videos about this topic, I ended up saying "so many requisits to be with a girl... I'll pass"
A first step towards healing steep insecurity, something that held me back my entire life, is understanding that you are not perfect. No one is perfect, but you are worthy of being loved in spite of your flaws. You DO have admirable traits, embrace them. Work on things that are workable: your hygiene and self of style is a major thing most men I know need to improve, progressing with your personal and professional goals, etc. Do not change yourself to fit an image of what you think women want.
@ModBopBeat How did you become disappointed? The only way I could see someone being disappointed despite working on themselves and improving is if they continued to need validation from women or other people, which is precisely the problem.
Appreciate you Courtney for the last point debunking the feel-good "be yourself" comments so commonly made. While well-intentioned moms and sisters tend to say that to calm a guy's nerves e.g. before a date, it removes the responsibility to change and improve when it's needed. Thanks for being the proverbial older sister who speaks these tough truths
She gives advice about personality and what you should do but at the end she is getting smashed by tall hot men but she doesn’t want to tell you the TRUTH, the main issue if you can’t date is your LOOK. Most important is your height and face in dating as a man.
@@Lo-to7zh LOL someone didn't watch the video. She acknowledged in the 4th point that levelling up appearance is important, plus Courtney's engaged so (giving her the benefit of the doubt here) she's probably not out smashing like you're accusing her (she criticizes cheaters in other videos, and trust me when I say that if it was revealed that she didn't practice what she preached, I'll unsub quicker than the drop of a 🧢). (Incoming "simp" comments in 3, 2...)
Men, just chase success and self-improvement. Never focus on "appearing" to be secure, not needy, etc. You can't fake it. You need to BECOME "that dude." Once you put in the requisite work and obtain high value for yourself then women will see you. Until then stay your insecure ass away from women and go to the gym.
@@JPKelly-xr7tr then it's meaningless in terms of finding a partner because you can feel as successful as you want but if society at large says different then you aren't magically going to attract people especially women just because you feel content with your life. That's why stuff like this sounds good but ultimately doesn't mean much in regards to interactions with other people.
Thank you C.R for another great Discussion on bettering yourself. I'm working at it every day. I listened to all your key points while working and looking back at my character as i am now. it wasn't any good. Blaming anyone other than myself was crazy.
See above comment about ticking those boxes and leaving one important thing out. If I want to attact a beautiful girl or guy but in reality even if I did all those things maybe I just don't have the looks, youth, or money - then its all about working on yourself..which is great, but at the same time - you have to be real with yourself in what you (at your highest level of you) can get with. After a point in mid-20's I think the whole 1-10 scale gets thrown out and its all about personality and common interest - but still in 2022 people want to get with the hottest Twitch streamer or IG model and think its an actual possibility.
It easier to get laid by a pretty & gorgeous looking woman than to get a job ; lots of people looking to extra dollars 💸: getting laid alot of guy would pass or give it away
The major issue with dating today is the majority of women don't give a fuck about a mans issues or insecurities unless she is very attracted to his looks. If she isn't really attracted to the mans looks, the man has to really stand out personality wise when it comes to his social skills and being able to make women laugh and smile. Being in relationships suck if you feel like you have to put in 10 times the effort as your partner, and when you stop being the charismatic funny guy she got attracted to in the relationship even within a day, she can get the notion that it is time to move on and find someone who has his shit toegther... 95% of men aren't even funny or charming the first place to even initially attract women and stand out if we're being real here... Women just don't realize how tough it is for the average man making average money these days
Guys you ought to keep in mind that Courtney is talking about reasons the girls aren't liking you but they could easily apply to why you're underemployed, have few friends, or feel stuck in life in many contexts. Being inauthentic because I was scared someone wouldn't like me has been the bane of my existence, LOL. Mostly because it starts to affect your mental health when you have to put up a false front all the time. It leads to depression. Maybe a good way to address this is to also present the opposites: - You'll be successful in dating/life/jobs/opportunities if you have options (opposite of desperation). This involves getting out there, meeting people, building up your social circles, and having the guts and the wherewithal to make the first move, or even just the feeling that if *this one* doesn't work out, there's another out there that will. - You'll be successful if you feel confident in yourself, secure in your abilities and personal characteristics and sense of self-worth. - You'll be successful if you maintain a positive mental attitude, abundance mentality, sense of gratitude. - You'll be successful if you pay attention to your appearance, because it makes you feel good to look good, and people react positively to that because you look like you take care of yourself. That includes, fitness, hygiene, grooming, and style. - You'll be successful if you are authentic, true to yourself, your own values and priorities. Remember you need to do all these things for yourself first. You're important enough, and worthy enough, to make your life how you want it to be. Be Action-oriented, because all of the above are within your control. Simple, though not easy, but within reach.
I always make sure I have none of these, and I STILL have this issue despite me doing everything I’m supposed to like hobbies, staying occupied, etc. I expect nothing and I’m still disappointed
I'm haven't been clingy, insecure, negative, or inauthentic since my mid 20s, and I value my appearance. I'd consider myself a high value man. Women don't see me in a romantic way simply because I don't pursue. I don't create that frame. I don't try to. I don't need to. So even if you have it all going on and check all the boxes, if you aren't creating that sexual frame, women won't be attracted to you. They'll see you as a friend or acquaintance.
It's the fact you *don't* pursue. Probably you need to be honest about what you want and keep trying until you get it or you're indirect and they see through that. There's a difference between chasing one relentlessly and shopping around relentlessly, you're attractive by doing the second one.
Ok, I agree with you. Here is my problem. I have low vision. Now if you take a second to think about virtually everything involved with telling if someone likes you. Now, imagine trying to feel confident in that situation. It's not even fear of rejection. . It's fear of not knowing wtf is going on....
Confidence can do wonders, especially when used right. Had a friend in college that was most definitely not the kind of guy women would give the time of day in the looks dept. Despite this he had a good looking and quality girlfriend most of the time I knew him. His major advantage was that he knew he wasn't going to win in the looks dept so he developed a pretty strong and attractive personality. He was the guy who listened, and paid careful attention to what people said, he was a man of action and not just boastful talk, he wasn't shredded but he was physically active and was mindful of the appearance of his clothes, hair and skin. He wasn't shallow, he just knew that by looking like he just rolled out of bed and put on the first things he found lying around would make him look like a slob. One of the major things that helped is he made sure to never come across as desperate no matter how badly he wanted a girl. If she scoffed at him when he introduced himself or turned him down for a date he didn't go the "You think you're too good for me?" crap so many 'alphas' think makes them look dominant. He gracefully accepted the rejection and walked away and didn't let it affect how he viewed himself. A couple of girls who dated him said that they were aware he was not good looking but he was so sure of himself and his goals that it did make him very appealing once they got to know him.
💯! All of it. Another one for me is if you don't listen because you think you know best. There was this one guy (real sweet guy) he came over to help me paint my room we were going to move my bed from my wall and I'm trying to tell him that my bed frame is not on wheels, you have to pick it up. He kept cutting me off saying he got it. He gave it a hard pull and SNAP! He broke my bed frame. He should have listened to me. Then he went home. He was supposed to come back the next day to help me move things back, but he called and said he was sick. How convenient.
I'm confident about my insecurities....THAT IM WORKING ON!😉👍 I saw a post on Instagram this morning from a dating coach and she made a valid point. If most men constantly complain that they feel they're doing all the work and women should do more approaching, they're gonna get passed up. I'm sorry to say this, but this is true and women are selective. Shoot your shot, if you miss, shoot again, or shoot it with someone new. Anything worthwhile takes effort y'all! My advice, find something that inspires you, even if it's one thing, or many! I found my true inspiration New Year's Eve and since then, I keep marching on and on in the battlefield....cause love is a battlefield!
@@smores8982 and then those guys complain that they're doing all the work, or they can't seem to get the women they want and blame them! Whereas women who act masculine can sometimes forget how to be in their femininity, make sense?
The best advice I could give anyone is to be yourself. I change my looks for the better, in my opinion. I am a male with painted nails, long hair, gauges and wears whatever I like. Some people hate it, but most of the people I know love it, because I am being myself. No matter what you do you will always get haters, but you will always have people that love you for you. Ever since I change my looks and started being more confident in myself, and stopped caring about others, I started to be more successful with women
Good points. As a guy who used to be 85 pounds heavier than I am now, I can tell you that getting into shape makes a world of difference in how the world treats you. I have noticed that the very same guys who resent being told that they should work on themselves physically will set high physical standards for women and not see the irony there.
@@timothygibney159 I started off by just making myself eat less than I was and eliminating obvious bad foods like fried stuff. I had one guy tell me that, "You'll never be able to outrun or outlift a bad diet." By this he meant that if you are not going to clean up your eating than no workout in the world is going to make a difference. The next step was the workout. Because I was too overweight to do a full-body workout in one session, I started off with splits. I had a leg day, a chest day, a back day, etc. I usually finished off each one with about 20-30 minutes of cardio after maybe 45-60 minutes of strength training for a total workout of no more than 90 minutes. Doing cardio of a leg workout will have you questioning if you're suffering from some type of self-loathing but it does pay off. Eventually I got to the point where I had lost about 40-50 pounds with that system and hit my second plateau. My first plateau had come after about 20-25 pounds of weight loss. I found out from a couple of people that this is normal and that each time that you plateau you just look for ways to up your diet and workouts and eventually break the plateau while not getting discouraged. The first plateau was not too bad. The second one was harder to break. I decided that I had lost enough weight to handle a full-body workout and some higher intensity cardio. I decided to mix up my strength training at the gym that I was going to with 2-3 evenings per week at a Title Boxing location near me. High intensity boxing drills and abs for 60 minutes with resistance training on alternate evenings pretty much shattered my second plateau. It takes time and patience but it can be done and you feel like a different person altogether.
women are never clingy, needy or desperate because they are on easy mode , they just have to show up, but rather they are used, stressed with tons of emotional baggage with less or nothing to offer
I see your perspectives and I love the video 🙂. There are two major controversies that I want to address in your video that can be taken from a different perspective. When you say, " That only works because he is attractive or he is only with her because he makes a lot of money," is not solely victimizing, but it is actually the cold harsh reality. Realism at its finest. People don't always say stuff like that to victimize themselves, but to expose the truth. Many men and women have "pretty privilege" in life and can get away with doing a lot of mischievous things because of how attractive they are. I notice many people give "free passes" for people who are more attractive than people who are average or are considered unattractive. It's reality. The people who use quotes like that, may not even be trying to victimize themselves too. These people may actually accept that they aren't that attractive and make the best out of it to achieve better, but still expose the truth. I see where you are coming from, but it is not seen from that one view alone. Also, people get in relationships for many reasons too. Many people just want money, sex, and other resources from the relationship and not really care at all about the other person. Many people put up fronts in public, but that's not who they are. Not everyone is in it for love, many men and women are mischievous these days. See the posts on Tik Tok and Twitter, you'll see it. I love your take on it though, positive mindsets are key. The whole "Being Yourself" thing is not really the best advice either. You mention trying to improve yourself for the better later on in the video, which completely contradicts "Being Yourself." Improving yourself usually requires slight changes in character, so you wouldn't actually be acting like yourself, but like a different brand new person because you improved and act differently. Many people act like their true selves and a lot of times, it really just isn't good enough for the other person. We all have different likes in people. You have to really think about this to understand. I love your positivity when you explain it from your view though :). I always enjoy your videos.
I'm so thankful for discovering Courtney, I've been doing a lot of these mistakes and failing miseraby even though in looks I'm above average(but we all know they don't get you very far if your character sucks ass like mine did and still does) and things are slowly getting better
A woman can truly never tell a male about dating advice because they've never been on my own. The sad truth is if you're over 6' tall and good looking and built and have money you won't have any trouble finding a female. All the sense of humor and game or whatever will not make any difference if they're not already attracted to you
I know a bunch of average looking guys who are under 6 ft tall who get a lot of pretty women. I’m better looking than they are and they get more women than I do. This is both frustrating and encouraging. You can do it!
Every single point mentioned in video was relevant 🙏 Lots of respect to you courtney💙 I am following your channel from very begining and i can say you have turned into an alfa female too 😎
The situation is grim and bleak for any men not in the very top percentages as far as height and income I have seen Courtney acknowledge this in other videos. She repeats ad nauseam about confidence and insecurity. I would like to see a womans confidence and security after dealing with the rejection rate and then the treatment from the opposite sex enjoyed by 90% of men.
I have a disability. Epilepsy, in the past when gals learned about that, I got tossed out with used cat litter. Gentlemen or not everyone is different but I could only handle having my heart ripped out about half a dozen times. If that happens to any guy here, just take a break. Don’t stop, take a break, unfortunately I walked away. Don’t make that mistake.
This list is a brilliant and applies to ALL relationships. While physical appearance has fewer implications for non-romantic involvements, being clingy, insecure, negative and inauthentic is not what I'm looking for in a friend, business associate or anyone I come I across.
If you grew up watching Disney and you make women the sole focus of your attention, you will definitely come off as needy and clingy. Showing excessive attention in the beginning will also make you look desperate so it is best to focus on everything going on in your world and let the girl interested in you be more of a treat and not the main focus
@Nic777 true, they want to feel noticed and desired, yet if you put them on a pedestal, constantly, women tend to be afraid of failure and embarrassment, and when you put someone on a pedestal, you take all of the pressure off of yourself and put it onto the girl and that definitely worries them. Like I always say, the Lord made my shoulders bigger than hers for a reason
I think it's because most guys are looking for the wrong kind of girls in the wrong kinds of places. Also nowadays some girls just wanna text or keep you on all these different apps. I do think some women/people can make feel clingy, or anxious. Cuz i noticed I'm not always like that around every woman or person. I do appreciate your honesty and advice tho. I wish you a lovely day 😊🙌🏽♥️
Man. I’m most guilty of this one. It hurts when she ghosts you. Cheats on you. And when u settle for less so often u believe that is the best you will ever get. Proud to say this year I have lost 45 lbs. been watching your videos everyday I feel those insecure demonic thoughts creep into my head. I’m a beautiful person. Finally just focusing on becoming the best version of myself I wish I knew about you years ago these videos you create would of saved me tons of pain and sleepless nights 🙏
3 weeks into weight loss plan, down 11 lbs, working on the neediness its hard when youve been single for 6 years with very intermittent intimacy, its hard to not want it when your subconcious brain is screaming at you to do something
If I had one wish, I'd go back to my teenage years and show myself this video. This is everything I was and I was one miserable bastard that was constantly being friend-zoned. Happily married now and no longer like this, but I missed out on so much by feeling sorry for myself. I'll be making damn sure my son doesn't go down this path.
Good for you for being self-aware and getting yourself out of that mindset! So many people spend their whole lives living that way. Thanks for sharing this!
@Ljosi yes my first port of call when we divorce will be to come back here and inform some rando prick in the comments section of a RUclips video that it has happened. Penning it in my diary as we speak.
Well here's the thing. I've always dressed nice and kept groomed cuz I thought that's what a responsible human being does. And I've been told by several female family members and friends. Why I walk around so happy when I have nothing to be happy or confident about they tell me I'm not handsome or rich and that I have a false sense of self-worth
I am a 6'1', 200 lb viking, very muscular, fit and athletic, have a deeper voice than anyone I've ever have met, and about a 7 in looks. I have no problem initiating contact even with good looking women. But as soon as my Asperger's kicks in: Game over - almost before it even starts. Autists are legendary for their poor face reading skills - but even I can see the face of the women go from "flirting and interested" to "WTF?" in a matter of minutes, even seconds. Aspergers turns a 10 into a zero hero. Some men are just completely chanceless in the dating market.
@@stainedClass2112 I feel you. I have also several other comorbid disorders; ADHD, Tourettes, OCD, etc. Asperger's rarely comes alone. I have a measured IQ of around 125, but still have no clue when it comes to social interactions. Relations with the opposite sex can be summed up in one word: Catastrophic. Asperger's is truly hell on earth.
1. You're clingy, needy, or desperate -should have mindset you'll be just fine regardless of outcome -scarcity mindset vs abundancy mindset -causes you to be anxious -don't blow up her phone 2. Insecurity -needing reassurance all the time -stop saying "I don't know why you're with me" etc... -don't point out your insecurities -show your confidence and happiness and invite people to share it -insecurity costs you chances to succeed -insecurity makes you an undesirable pushover -if you think you can or think you can't, you're right -confidence isn't a 24 hour thing, but know when to be confident 3. Negative attitude and playing the victim -people who see the positives and focus on solutions are attractive -don't blame others for problems, or belittle people you're jealous of 4. Appearance -put effort into your appearance, inside and outside -physical attraction does play a huge role in the initial stages of attraction 5. Being inauthentic -very important -bragging, claiming to be things you're not -you wouldn't want someone who doesn't want the real you anyway
How do you go from having an scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset when all you've known is failure. It's sound advice but difficult to put into practice, especially when you have low self esteem and are afraid of getting hurt
I was insecure in the sense that I had the need to "prove" myself in love,work and friendships. This insecurity stemmed from a troubled upbringing and not feeling a sense of belonging. Over the years that insecurity disappeared with success (from hard work) and strong friendships. If you're feeling insecure, not one else is ever going to fulfill that void in you. You have to tackle it with goal achieving and making connections
Fixing yourself from the inside is the most important. Social conditioning from teachers and parents ect really fucked us over later in life. Now its time to unlearn those mindsets and accept who we are first then improve
Add number 6: You are not what women are looking for to chat with. There are those that love to chat with anyone. Just go up with a pleasant look on your face and say Hello! If the turn away,, they may be having a bad day, go just wantcto chat with a certain type of guy. But if they say hello back, start chatting with them about simple topics, and go from there! Maintain a,positive attitude. Throw in a joke or two. Maybe a,light hearted tease. And enjoy the conversation like two ( or more) people. If it goes well, the next time you may see them, they might say hello to you first!
I hate trying to distinguish between clingy and “putting in work”. Like I have dated women before who went ghost after texting them and asking about their day. Got told “I was clingy” for texting a lot after a few dates. Like I am trying to solidify a relationship and getting told “that’s clingy” makes dating very “game like” and I felt like I got used for dates quite a bit when I was simply trying to “lock in” a relationship with gals I felt attracted to. I stopped doing that but then I feel like I have been ghosted at when I didn’t want to come off as “clingy” because of previous experiences. Best way to be is to not “double or triple text” but it’s something I’ll admit I struggle with.
Men, be careful with this video. Don't beat yourself up trying to attract women. You can have none of these issues and women will still ignore you, avoid you, dislike you, etc. There's nothing wrong with trying to become more attractive to women, but remember that you can be more than good enough and people still might not care. You can write the best book in the world but that doesn't mean most people will read it. That's just how things are. BUT... that doesn't mean there aren't things you can do to become more attractive. There are. But have self-respect and confidence NOW that you are a human and that you still deserve to be loved and respected NOW. It's just tough out there right now. Not in the dating market, but in everything. People aren't that social or nice overall.
Thank you Courtney! You are so right. I am one of your "Senior" fans. Always be yourself and just enjoy the moment. If it doesn't work out,, be thankful that you shared the experience together.
At the end of the day we are all actors, there’s no such thing as authentic. That’s like saying make up makes you beautiful, it doesn’t it’s all psychological. It’s about acceptance and respect. Women today don’t respect men just for being men, social media has created one giant illusion that crumbles every time someone gets hurt and then a new cycle starts.
There's a difference between embellishing what's already there and completely making something up. There are guys out there completely making shit up about their life. They brag about an impressive job that they don't have or money that they don't have. It's like those people taking pictures of themselves standing next to an expensive car that's not theirs and pretending that it is on social media.
In that case, what a great thing to make you unique authentic is. Be authentic, be proud that you are and you're already special. Likewise make sure you don't date someone obsessed with social media and fake.
All of these things aren't just things that help you in dating they are regular life concerns that everyone should take into account. I really resonated with what you were saying about insecurities. I had figured out that by telling self deprecating jokes, it actually made ppl repulsed bc they felt they had to reassure me when in my mind I thought I was just making a joke. A lot of times you can air out insecurities without even noticing and it does make someone not want to be around you.
Yeah self deprecating jokes have to be not about your actual insecurities or it's a lame vibe it gives out. They make you funny and likeable providing you don't actually care about whatever it is. Everybody can tell if you do.
1.Guys act cooler than they are! 2.Guys try to change themselves to match the girls. 3.Guys are resentful towards women. 4.Guys don’t have basic fundamentals(eye contact,hygiene,clothes down) 5.Too much interest 6Not enough interest Those are the big six
Isn't it funny how much work us guys have to do on ourselves,to avoid displaying any of the traits that most women will happily bring ALL of to the table and then expect us to just put up with them?
Abudance mindset is all fine and well, but the most common complaint I'm hearing from my single male friends is that they can't seem to match up with people on apps, and don't know what avenue to try to meet women outside of it. So, when they get to a date, scarcity is not a mindset, it's a reality.
Absolutely. Many people seem to miss this point. If you've been lost in the desert without water and finally stumble upon an oasis, I'm sure you're going to gulp down water instead of sipping.
I’m a dude and am 27. I’m not sure what it’s like to be in a relationship because I’ve never been in one but also at the same time I’m just working on myself. I’m not against experimenting whether it’s short term or long term, the only thing is that I’m afraid of a false accusation. Does anyone else have the fear of a false accusation?
First half of my life I was battered beaten and bullied so by the time I reached Middle School I was so insecure and withdrawn. It took awhile to realize little things about myself like the fact that I'm smart and funny and apparently some girls thought I was cute these were things I never knew because I spent so much of my early years being abused
Female perspective here ... first of all YES to everything Courtney says. At a more granular level, I would say what I see missing most in men is 1) unkept appearance - I put in a lot of thought and time into looking nice, so I feel like men can definitely do the same, 2) respectful assertiveness - come talk to me/ask me for my #/ask me out for coffee, but if I clearly show I'm busy and/or not interested, gracefully walk away, 3) ask me questions - seriously, do you even want to get to know me or do you just like me bc I'm pretty?, 4) be upfront and clear about your interest and intentions - ie "I think you're a cool person and would like to get to know you better. I'd love to take you on another date.", and 5) be as consistent as possible and communicate your feelings all along the way - none of this hot and cold stuff.
@@johngalt6838 why do you think men and women are or should be the same in their behaviors when it comes to relationships? You are starting from a false premise - men and women are different and are attracted to different things.
Rejection is not a big deal... Rejection is part of life as a whole - Odds you will fail or get rejected in all aspects of your life at some point. Obsessing over that rejection is not going to get you anywhere or be healthy for you.
@@jamescalder5115 That may be true. Though still doesn't nullify the fact that she as a female doesn't have to approach and go through that time and time again.
Its easy for a woman to talk about rejection lols. Or what men "should" be, although most women aren't good enough for their man either. They're just sheltered from reality because they never have to approach anyone, only to say yes or no to people who do approach, creating the illusion that there's nothing in them that needs fixing and that it's only the men who need to put in work.
@@LGDarksteed So what? Does that mean what she said was wrong? No of course it doesn't you just don't like that she said it because she is a woman. Not to mention you seem to be under this illusion that women never face rejection... Everybody faces rejection - Men face it more in terms of dating but everybody faces rejection thats part of life.
@@jamescalder5115 Exactly men face it more when it comes to dating. Getting turned down over & over again takes a toll on anyone. It's like being apart of a sports team and no matter how much you try you can never score any points. Also there is a big difference in the types of rejection one faces. Romantic rejection carries more weight then say an employment rejection. Minimize it so much is disingenuous, especially when she isn't even one that has to go through that over & over again perhaps hundreds of times in a row. It always takes a toll.
When it comes to communication, it is a good practice to use, ‘texting only for plans’. This will be a ‘anxiety’ negation for those who become anxious on the response. Think of texting like tennis. Any other conversation that you share with the partner of interest, talk with them over the phone to discover who they are.
Really phone is just a tool to get dates also - especially in early stages you are just giving away free attention and building very little attraction in any non face-to-face communication. You've always got to frame things from the mindset of "my time is valuable, I'm not going to waste it on low value activities or with women who are wishy-washy". If she's not sitting across from you YOU'VE GOT NOTHING! You can't build or test her attraction unless you are together.
@@jleano609 Right. That is exactly my point. ‘Playing it like tennis’ is a good way to play off the ‘my time is valuable’ aspect you are talking about. If any partner is ‘wishy-washy’ as you mentioned, on to the next. The channel of communication can evolve with anyone you speak with. It is a matter of directing it from texts, voice memos, phone calls, FaceTimes, etc. it’s all on the individuals.
@@jaywaup No, my point is this. Texts, voice memos, phone calls, FaceTimes are all secondary to the main aim which is to go on a bloody date with her! Thus they are simply tools to do that. Once you've set the date, STFU and SAVE IT FOR THE DATE!!!!! You say "talk with them over the phone to discover who they are". No! Take her for a cup of coffee, Man.
If you walk with intention, speak with intention, and act with intention, not only will you feel more confident in yourself but people will see you as confident. Achieving goals, getting over hurdles, winning a competition and even surviving heavy lifting will not only boost your testosterone but it will also boost your confidence
Courtney, you are welcome to pin this haha but it won't affect me if you don't, I just want to get the message out there so that men become more competent and confident
Just be yourself implies you don’t need to improve/push forward (aka you peaked and it’s downhill from here) never finish climbing. Actively pushing to be the best version of you is significantly more attractive.
@Evidence-Based Health UK you keep plateauing and I will keep losing weight and loving myself and learning new skills. Sorry you feel toxic about others wanting to live a healthier life.
I think you just described the entire human race. Real men don't get caught up with women .they chase goals and prepping for the future . Regardless , what comes their way.
It looks like women are finally red-pilling their dating advice. I guess the red pill is the way after all. Also, I appreciate the honesty. If more women were to acknowledge these truths, I believe there would be less communication problems between the sexes on this matter and more guys would know what they were doing wrong from an earlier age. Trying to talk to girls about why I don't get girls has so many flowery, maddening empty cliches from their end it drives me nuts. This was all constructive and I think accurate. It's not necessarily easy to follow but if it was then I would have gotten more girls by now on my own.
Men, you are allowed to have any emotion along the human spectrum. A man with pain is not a red flag - suppressing how you feel in order to be liked is.
@@somaspecialist if you are a crier than cry! If not, than don't. If you're scared than be scared. If you're daring than be that. But for God sakes don't suppress your behavior just to get a girl to like you.
"A man doesn't need to respect a woman in order to feel attracted to her, but a woman needs to respect a woman in order to feel attracted to him" That was a powerful quote or statement that changed my view or perspective, what do you think of that?
No matter how true my love was....But i was having all these problems....And i got rejected by her....And after that i changed myself....And at this point of my life i'm extremely stable....And extremely confident of myself...cheers✌️
I'm lonely, isolated. At the age of 23, making friends is hard. Honestly, it feels too late for me, to ever get better. I want to improve, I want to be a good person that makes other people happier. All I'm lacking is hope, and I have none of that. I keep failing academically due to my ADHD. I'm convinced that no one is a loser because they're not me. You can't possibly be as lost of a cause as me. Every day, I hate my interfiority complex, not showing it to anyone. This is the only place, this comment right here, where I vent it.
Great tips! I agree, being clingy, needy, and desperate will definitely do it! No woman is going to continue to like a man that she basically has in the palm of her hand. Women love a challenge, if she knows that she can have you any time she wants to, then she’s going to start losing interest - it’s just the way it is, it’s human nature. You have to act like you’ve been there before, and turn the tables on her - make her chase you instead, that’s the way it should be! Lol Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I like your bit at 4:14 on negative attitiude/playing the victim as I wrestle with the guilt I feel over icing an old friend out of my life but I can't take his endless whining/moralizing/paranoia any more and realised recently he's never gonna change. It's just so "draining" as you say, and any attempt to cheer him up is effort thrown into a bottomless black hole. No wonder he keeps running out of people to complain at 🤦
Well said - Tabish! Great tips! I agree, being clingy, needy, and desperate will definitely do it! No woman is going to continue to like a man that she basically has in the palm of her hand. Women love a challenge, if she knows that she can have you any time she wants to, then she’s going to start losing interest - it’s just the way it is, it’s human nature. You have to act like you’ve been there before, and turn the tables on her - make her chase you instead, that’s the way it should be! Lol Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I give my crush hostile looks and always ignore her. I know she will never love me, so it feels good to know that I'll never be rejected. No Serial Killer.
It took one girl. One girl broke my heart and changed me forever. I started going to the gym, working on myself, get a better job and it started as me doing all this to try and make her regret leaving me the way she did but it turned into me just wanting to better myself further. Now here I am.
God bless u brother stay that way 🙏
a hearth broken man or even worse a totally broken man whose lifted himself up from total ruin..
WILL NOT BE STOPPPED.
You turn a negative into a positive - you are in control, not the situation! 👍
It doesn’t matter what got you motivated at first as long as it leads to you accomplishing further goals for you! Cheers mate
@@benjaminwright8032 Can't argue with that- doesn't matter as long as it gets done - .......YEP.
clingy, needy or desperate 0:23
insecurity 2:10
negative attitude playing the victim 4:15
appearance 5:52
you're being inauthentic 7:26
Thank you
Thanks bro
But women must be accepted and should be understood if they have these qualities.
@Evidence-Based Health UK yes. And most of these women have silicon implants or have no bubs or have sagging bubs. They have been pounded multiple times and they got a very very loose pussy as well. And also most of them are broke and live off a man's stupidity of spending on women.
Also add to that tons of make-up and fake lips and what not.
@@ameya7723 Gynocentric criteria.
I wasted my teens and 20’s being insecure, I grew up with abusive parents telling me I was useless, it really affected all areas of my life and now I’m very far behind everyone else. If you’re very insecure, seriously look into handling it, if you saw how my life is, you seriously wouldn’t want it
I understand my friend, I’m 47 and I’ve never had a girlfriend nor the prospect of one, I’m insecure because basically all these years I’ve never been able to get my money 💰 up , I only make about 33k a year and I’ve always worked and did the right thing but I just can’t get ahead man. And I’m not really physically attractive either so that’s that.
@@modalsoul6511 I'd rather have that than losing even more self esteem AND time Cucking to a female whom takes advantage of you and yr resources. Women don't always sniff out low self esteem Alpha Males with $$. They will attach to a low esteem broke man just for their own desires. Think about that guys.
Now you got a chance to worry about the world you can create for yourself, taking small steps for attainable and if you are intentional with everything, each victory will boost your confidence and hopefully erode your insecurities. Don't give up!
I’m sorry that happened to you. Wishing you all the best. All of our paths are different, you got this ❤️ hugs!
@9λ true that.
It is irritating to be told about being too needy from people who might behave the same way if they didn't have as many options as they do (as you yourself pointed out in your video about why dating sucks).
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down.
Jim Morrison
Fax!
I started going to the gym 6 to 7 times a week for the past 2 months I’m was seeing real results, so couple nights ago I went out to 2 different nightclubs and I got rejected by every single women I approached and now I’m back in that dark place I literally got drunk all day eating junk food and pizza now for the first time in 2 months I haven’t go to the gym in 2 days because I’m extremely depressed and I don’t really know the point of living anymore but I will keep fighting cause I genuinely believe there is someone out there for me so I won’t give up hope.
Clubs are the worst place you could have gone to meet women under your circumstances. Women are not going there to meet men. Mrs. Ryan has a video you should watch about where you can do better meeting women. Remember any interaction that goes well is a win even if you don't go on a date or find a girlfriend. For one, meeting women can lead to meeting other women, and so can making friends with other men. Moreover, if you never had any luck with women before, get ready for this truth bomb. Working out is a good thing, but it can take years even with a deliberate effort to succeed with women. Working out is in and of itself, not going to solve your dating problems, it helps but lack of success with women is always caused by multiple, interlocking and mutually reinforcing factors. You'll have to figure out what those are. I know this, because I was, and still am in your shoes even though I had been married. I understand how you feel, and there's more men and women too who understand how you feel because they too are having or had a hard time finding a suitable partner.
Pretty much what the other guy means is that the issue is your face
It’s not that I’m afraid to a Approach Women. I’m afraid to get labeled a creep and potentially have law enforcement get involved just cause some woman doesn’t like being approached
The comment section has lotsa vulnerable, honest confessions.
I respect that a lot. It makes all of us feel less alone in whatever it is we're struggling with.
We have a great community here! ❤️
Nobody gives a fk.
You have no way to find out if what they’re saying is true, which means that they everyone can easily lie about everything
It's really hard not to be insecure or needy when all your life you've been unsuccessful with nearly 99% of women and still a virgin at 27. I think what makes it worse is that I've tried so hard and still end up failing. I've been working out 5 times a week, counting my macronutrients, getting haircuts biweekly and drastically improved my style the last 2-3 years. I've began going to therapy and am going to get a life coach. I hope to finally turn things around in 2022, but I really don't know what more I can do. I think it's because I'm short.
how tall are you? There is much more of us like this than you probably think. Im 27 too. And I agree. I had enough of rejections and stupid attitutes towards me (indirect). I dont give a flying f*** about broads anymore. I usually like videos of CR but not this one. It feels like these things are black and white. Like it wasnt for the fact that many women have too high standards. Even the average/under average looking ones. Man it's just crazy. I also did so much in the past, going out of my comfort zone often. And yet nothing. Im introverted and shy. But there are much more shy and introverted dudes than me.. that are doing much better and have results just because they are better looking/tall. And their effort was even much smaller.
@@arthurmorgan2906 got you beat. I’m 40. Don’t kill yourself.
@@Filthy_Larry dont react on me
@@arthurmorgan2906 whoa reacting. I’m just stating facts.
I don't think it's about the hight, size or how you look. Women want men that are secured financially without their contribution. There is not ugly rich man.
Learned this the hard way growing up: I'd chase the girls that had no idea how to think about me to disinterest and was cold to the girls who genuinely were interested in me. I thought this was how you were supposed to play the game but honestly it's draining on both sides. You feel horrible because you're not getting the results you want and the girls end up ranging from disinterested to straight "get this creep away from me". The more you obsess, the higher the disinterest.
She gives advice about personality and what you should do but at the end she is getting smashed by tall hot men but she doesn’t want to tell you the TRUTH, the main issue if you can’t date is your LOOK. Most important is your height and face in dating as a man.
@@Lo-to7zh Before I call you an incel, I just have to ask: Who hurt you?
@@grumpoggo2636 hit him with the truth. He's an incel. He thinks all women are getting smashed by "Chad". God I hate that name for a stud. It's so stupid. Courtney's fiance looks like a completely normal guy, and she doesn't strike me as the cheating type.
@@Lo-to7zh you need to go to the country, in the city most women are sallow and looks is the second most important factor, keep in mind that the cost of living is a whole lot higher so the competence is fierce thus money remains the number one factor. In a more traditional environment you'll have more success, I guarantee you or move to another country such as Colombia, Brasil, Argentina, Thailand, South Korea, etc where feminism hasn't rotten that many female souls. Good luck with that.
@@Juggernaut1972 I, on the other hand, actually have a cousin name Chad, who is and actual "Chad" and he's 6'2" 240lbs and looks like Lebron James. He gets like 70% of women . I on the other hand, am 5'10" 195lb amateur Boxer, I only attract like 1 out of 3 women I talk to( alot of them are married or have boyfriends). Am I jealous if him, no! Do I get rejected, absolutely a majority of the time. Do I care, not really, cause I know I'm a man of substance and just do me, and I am as happy as a pig in shit. Alot of women see my cheerful, happy-go-lucky , bubbly attitude, I guess it intrigues them.
I'm just an ok looking physically fit guy who's a rascal.
Confidence is literally not giving a shit. And having no shame about it.
Nah, that's just being a giant D. Confidence is being g comfortable in your skin and respecting yourself and others.
that highlighted mindset of going on a date to see if you like the other person, and not being there to try and make them like you has completely changed my dating life for the better over the last few months. Preach!!!
Wom3n do not give a fk about you unless you’re hot. Mkay. 😊
Good on you for not sugar coating it Courtney. As men, at our core, we like getting shit done, including self improvement. Any guy who says otherwise, is in denial.
🙌🏼
As a human being of infinite worth just because I am I could care less about getting feces done.
What kind of shyt are you talking about?
Anyone who disagrees with me, is wrong.
@@Ifslayanct same with me, you must have a big ego 💀🙂👌
Saw on the gram the big news, massive congrats to you and Teddy. Really love the way the channel is going for you too hun. Love from the UK x
Thank you so much 🥰
@@CourtneyRyan What's the big news?
@@just_some_internet_guy we’re engaged!
This is like watching an unexpected character make a cameo appearance on my fav show
SHOUTS OUT TO MY BOI TEDDY LET'S GOO
This last one is really the biggest challenge, what can I change/improve to become the "best version of myself" while staying authentic and true to myself? Some things are obvious (everyone should exercise, develop good cleanliness and hygiene habits, etc.), but others less so. Am I actually doing myself a disservice by trying to be more charismatic (or at least conversational) in social settings? When I try something new, am I genuinely interested or do I just want to relate to people better? I feel like this is one of the hardest yet most important things to figure out for guys who struggle with self-image.
We often aren't aware of things we'll enjoy until we try them. For example, I've seen a number of husbands agree to do ballroom lessons because their wives really wanted to and then enjoy it more than the wife. It's only if you keep doing something you've tried but really can't find a way to enjoy that you're not being authentic. If you do like it, then you've just discovered something about yourself that you didn't know before.
But I also think people can lose sight of what's truly core to oneself vs what's just a minor thing. You may find being more conversational challenging but I doubt you think "being awkward in conversation is really a core party of my identity". The mere fact that you don't seem happy about not being a better conversationalist screams that it's not really integral to who you are
As long as you're actually trying something as opposed to just pretending, it's being authentic. If you're trying to be more charismatic, then you're actually practicing so that you will be more charismatic in the future. You have a goal for yourself and you're trying to change yourself to reach that goal. That's being authentic. Being inauthentic is pretending to be more charismatic with just the person you're trying to get into bed with, but with other people, you just drop the act. You have no intention of changing who you are, you're pretending to be something you're not just to get something.
As for trying something new, since it's new, you have no idea whether you're genuinely interested or not. If it turns out you're not interested, then just drop it. It was a genuine attempt to try something new, so totally authentic, even if you're just jumping on a bandwagon. But if it turns out you don't like it, but pretend that you do, then you're not being authentic.
I think being needy or clingy is something can be a phase you go through. Just recently I had a very strong infatuation with a girl & I started to become needy with her but she never picked up on this but I did. Then I just suddenly snapped out of it. In the past I’ve been incredibly needy & the girl you desire the actual desire becomes a mental prison it effected every area of my life badly.
I've achieved so many things in my life, things that others could only dream of, but getting a decent gf has been my Achilles heel. Don't think I'm displaying anything you mentioned, and don't think I'm ugly, but it's a CRAZY dating scene. I've almost all but given up.
@@maszk9743 Grew up poor in the hood with adhd, managed to get into my state's best xray school, graduated with honors and now work for a world renowned hospital. I hear ya, single life is great and every time I try to date my life fills with stress from the craziness out there. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm flying solo, although unwillingly. Would love to get hitched to a good girl, but the more I try the more impossible it seems.
"why men are not successful with women" the truth is it may not be your fault. Biologically most men are attracted to most women, but most women are not attracted to most men. 5 minutes vs 9 months to reproduce. Supply and demand. Human nature. If you didn't score consistently with women in high school and college forget about a woman ever being truly physically attracted to you. If you don't want an economically beneficial / eventually sexless marriage just stay single. Most marriages throughout history have been for economic reasons and not love. True love is incredibly rare in the real world outside of Hollywood.
@@InsaneOaf I agree with you on a lot of what you said, but I don't have much problem attracting women. It's attracting the RIGHT women. I attract a lot of uglies, and the pretty ones I attract are psychos. The pretty ones that are not psychos, they're harder for me to attract than attracting a dodo bird. Some may argue that these women are an endangered species, and I could agree. At my age though, 38, the hunt is too exhausting. So living a very fulfilling and fun single life is not a bad idea at all.
The non psyco pretty ones are all picked off early.
I've always thought I had good things to offer a woman in a relationship. However, women seem to disagree.
I spent many years trying to figure out why, never did, and finally decided to spend my time, money and energy on other things. I gave up on women.
Yes! I used to be super insecure, not thinking I was good enough. When I started working on myself I noticed the quality of women that where attracted to me increased as well. I am becoming what I want to attract. Great points Courtney!!
Fix yourself up first then you’ll see how they follow I know by experience
@@abolisherthat’s completely false 😂😂😂😂😂 don’t preach that bullshxt
@@kooldisciple2498 personality is a big part of it as well.
One thing I would add is inexperience. Ive been meeting and talking to people for a long time now but never knew how to approach and be funny/interesting towards the opposite sex. I knew internally that I am a great guy, I just never knew how to express it. Failure after failure after failure and I'm still improving. Life's a journey not a destination and failure is a part of success not a lack of it.
Honestly, I don't know about that. I've seen countless girls put up with (and enable) all kinds of morally reprehensible behaviour (more times than not the guy is tall, muscular and unfriendly and there are always plenty of orbiters waiting to treat her well). I believe girls get a consolation kick out of the drama and the attention, so they win whilst looking like the loser.
They are the ones you should stay away from because they won't like you if you aren't mean and controlling, they crave something you aren't offering and will just leave you for that.
@@danstylus1
They wouldn’t give me the time of day anyway. I’m not 6’5”.
A person will be with you because they want to, not because you convince them that you are the best candidate. After watching so many videos about this topic, I ended up saying "so many requisits to be with a girl... I'll pass"
A first step towards healing steep insecurity, something that held me back my entire life, is understanding that you are not perfect. No one is perfect, but you are worthy of being loved in spite of your flaws. You DO have admirable traits, embrace them. Work on things that are workable: your hygiene and self of style is a major thing most men I know need to improve, progressing with your personal and professional goals, etc. Do not change yourself to fit an image of what you think women want.
@ModBopBeat How did you become disappointed? The only way I could see someone being disappointed despite working on themselves and improving is if they continued to need validation from women or other people, which is precisely the problem.
Appreciate you Courtney for the last point debunking the feel-good "be yourself" comments so commonly made. While well-intentioned moms and sisters tend to say that to calm a guy's nerves e.g. before a date, it removes the responsibility to change and improve when it's needed. Thanks for being the proverbial older sister who speaks these tough truths
She gives advice about personality and what you should do but at the end she is getting smashed by tall hot men but she doesn’t want to tell you the TRUTH, the main issue if you can’t date is your LOOK. Most important is your height and face in dating as a man.
@@Lo-to7zh LOL someone didn't watch the video. She acknowledged in the 4th point that levelling up appearance is important, plus Courtney's engaged so (giving her the benefit of the doubt here) she's probably not out smashing like you're accusing her (she criticizes cheaters in other videos, and trust me when I say that if it was revealed that she didn't practice what she preached, I'll unsub quicker than the drop of a 🧢).
(Incoming "simp" comments in 3, 2...)
Guy's don't worry if women don't like you, most women don't know what they want either, just concentrate and move on with ur own life.
Men, just chase success and self-improvement. Never focus on "appearing" to be secure, not needy, etc. You can't fake it. You need to BECOME "that dude." Once you put in the requisite work and obtain high value for yourself then women will see you. Until then stay your insecure ass away from women and go to the gym.
This.
This is legit.
Define success lol
@@tylermiller3120 'You' have to define it: everyone has different goals - is on a different path.
@@JPKelly-xr7tr then it's meaningless in terms of finding a partner because you can feel as successful as you want but if society at large says different then you aren't magically going to attract people especially women just because you feel content with your life. That's why stuff like this sounds good but ultimately doesn't mean much in regards to interactions with other people.
Thank you C.R for another great Discussion on bettering yourself. I'm working at it every day. I listened to all your key points while working and looking back at my character as i am now. it wasn't any good. Blaming anyone other than myself was crazy.
"Be what you want to attract" - In my opinion, the most important statement in this video. Perfectly sums it up.
See above comment about ticking those boxes and leaving one important thing out.
If I want to attact a beautiful girl or guy but in reality even if I did all those things maybe I just don't have the looks, youth, or money - then its all about working on yourself..which is great, but at the same time - you have to be real with yourself in what you (at your highest level of you) can get with.
After a point in mid-20's I think the whole 1-10 scale gets thrown out and its all about personality and common interest - but still in 2022 people want to get with the hottest Twitch streamer or IG model and think its an actual possibility.
It easier to get laid by a pretty & gorgeous looking woman than to get a job ; lots of people looking to extra dollars 💸: getting laid alot of guy would pass or give it away
The major issue with dating today is the majority of women don't give a fuck about a mans issues or insecurities unless she is very attracted to his looks. If she isn't really attracted to the mans looks, the man has to really stand out personality wise when it comes to his social skills and being able to make women laugh and smile. Being in relationships suck if you feel like you have to put in 10 times the effort as your partner, and when you stop being the charismatic funny guy she got attracted to in the relationship even within a day, she can get the notion that it is time to move on and find someone who has his shit toegther... 95% of men aren't even funny or charming the first place to even initially attract women and stand out if we're being real here... Women just don't realize how tough it is for the average man making average money these days
They know how tough it is for most men, many though don't care. Some on the other hand, do.
It is impossible my guy to make a women fall for you
Me getting left on delivered from a girl and getting notification : This is why girls don't like you
Thanks Courtney 😭
😂😭
Guys you ought to keep in mind that Courtney is talking about reasons the girls aren't liking you but they could easily apply to why you're underemployed, have few friends, or feel stuck in life in many contexts. Being inauthentic because I was scared someone wouldn't like me has been the bane of my existence, LOL. Mostly because it starts to affect your mental health when you have to put up a false front all the time. It leads to depression.
Maybe a good way to address this is to also present the opposites:
- You'll be successful in dating/life/jobs/opportunities if you have options (opposite of desperation). This involves getting out there, meeting people, building up your social circles, and having the guts and the wherewithal to make the first move, or even just the feeling that if *this one* doesn't work out, there's another out there that will.
- You'll be successful if you feel confident in yourself, secure in your abilities and personal characteristics and sense of self-worth.
- You'll be successful if you maintain a positive mental attitude, abundance mentality, sense of gratitude.
- You'll be successful if you pay attention to your appearance, because it makes you feel good to look good, and people react positively to that because you look like you take care of yourself. That includes, fitness, hygiene, grooming, and style.
- You'll be successful if you are authentic, true to yourself, your own values and priorities.
Remember you need to do all these things for yourself first. You're important enough, and worthy enough, to make your life how you want it to be. Be Action-oriented, because all of the above are within your control. Simple, though not easy, but within reach.
I always make sure I have none of these, and I STILL have this issue despite me doing everything I’m supposed to like hobbies, staying occupied, etc. I expect nothing and I’m still disappointed
I'm haven't been clingy, insecure, negative, or inauthentic since my mid 20s, and I value my appearance. I'd consider myself a high value man. Women don't see me in a romantic way simply because I don't pursue. I don't create that frame. I don't try to. I don't need to. So even if you have it all going on and check all the boxes, if you aren't creating that sexual frame, women won't be attracted to you. They'll see you as a friend or acquaintance.
especially if you work in a male-dominated field, then most women won't even know you exist in the first place.
@@DutchDansing I work in a female dominated field, and what I say holds true in that too. They know you exist, even adore you, but not in that way.
It's the fact you *don't* pursue. Probably you need to be honest about what you want and keep trying until you get it or you're indirect and they see through that. There's a difference between chasing one relentlessly and shopping around relentlessly, you're attractive by doing the second one.
@Red Lobster Skull yes. I'm explaining why.
Ok, I agree with you. Here is my problem. I have low vision. Now if you take a second to think about virtually everything involved with telling if someone likes you. Now, imagine trying to feel confident in that situation. It's not even fear of rejection. . It's fear of not knowing wtf is going on....
Confidence can do wonders, especially when used right. Had a friend in college that was most definitely not the kind of guy women would give the time of day in the looks dept. Despite this he had a good looking and quality girlfriend most of the time I knew him. His major advantage was that he knew he wasn't going to win in the looks dept so he developed a pretty strong and attractive personality. He was the guy who listened, and paid careful attention to what people said, he was a man of action and not just boastful talk, he wasn't shredded but he was physically active and was mindful of the appearance of his clothes, hair and skin. He wasn't shallow, he just knew that by looking like he just rolled out of bed and put on the first things he found lying around would make him look like a slob. One of the major things that helped is he made sure to never come across as desperate no matter how badly he wanted a girl. If she scoffed at him when he introduced himself or turned him down for a date he didn't go the "You think you're too good for me?" crap so many 'alphas' think makes them look dominant. He gracefully accepted the rejection and walked away and didn't let it affect how he viewed himself. A couple of girls who dated him said that they were aware he was not good looking but he was so sure of himself and his goals that it did make him very appealing once they got to know him.
Sorry do we know each other 😂
Yup, a certain mindset.
💯! All of it. Another one for me is if you don't listen because you think you know best. There was this one guy (real sweet guy) he came over to help me paint my room we were going to move my bed from my wall and I'm trying to tell him that my bed frame is not on wheels, you have to pick it up. He kept cutting me off saying he got it. He gave it a hard pull and SNAP! He broke my bed frame. He should have listened to me. Then he went home. He was supposed to come back the next day to help me move things back, but he called and said he was sick. How convenient.
I'm confident about my insecurities....THAT IM WORKING ON!😉👍
I saw a post on Instagram this morning from a dating coach and she made a valid point. If most men constantly complain that they feel they're doing all the work and women should do more approaching, they're gonna get passed up. I'm sorry to say this, but this is true and women are selective. Shoot your shot, if you miss, shoot again, or shoot it with someone new.
Anything worthwhile takes effort y'all! My advice, find something that inspires you, even if it's one thing, or many! I found my true inspiration New Year's Eve and since then, I keep marching on and on in the battlefield....cause love is a battlefield!
Love this!
@@CourtneyRyan 😉👍
From a woman’s stance, I concur. Men who expect women to do the approaching (and be in her ‘masculine’ energy) will definitely be passed up.
@@smores8982 and then those guys complain that they're doing all the work, or they can't seem to get the women they want and blame them! Whereas women who act masculine can sometimes forget how to be in their femininity, make sense?
@@tommygunn6901 exactly!
The best advice I could give anyone is to be yourself. I change my looks for the better, in my opinion. I am a male with painted nails, long hair, gauges and wears whatever I like. Some people hate it, but most of the people I know love it, because I am being myself. No matter what you do you will always get haters, but you will always have people that love you for you. Ever since I change my looks and started being more confident in myself, and stopped caring about others, I started to be more successful with women
Exactly it's the positivity. Seems most men are lacking that today.
Good points. As a guy who used to be 85 pounds heavier than I am now, I can tell you that getting into shape makes a world of difference in how the world treats you. I have noticed that the very same guys who resent being told that they should work on themselves physically will set high physical standards for women and not see the irony there.
Ya being in shape just makes you feel much better, coudos to you on the weight loss.
How did you do it?
@@timothygibney159 I started off by just making myself eat less than I was and eliminating obvious bad foods like fried stuff. I had one guy tell me that, "You'll never be able to outrun or outlift a bad diet." By this he meant that if you are not going to clean up your eating than no workout in the world is going to make a difference.
The next step was the workout. Because I was too overweight to do a full-body workout in one session, I started off with splits. I had a leg day, a chest day, a back day, etc. I usually finished off each one with about 20-30 minutes of cardio after maybe 45-60 minutes of strength training for a total workout of no more than 90 minutes. Doing cardio of a leg workout will have you questioning if you're suffering from some type of self-loathing but it does pay off.
Eventually I got to the point where I had lost about 40-50 pounds with that system and hit my second plateau. My first plateau had come after about 20-25 pounds of weight loss. I found out from a couple of people that this is normal and that each time that you plateau you just look for ways to up your diet and workouts and eventually break the plateau while not getting discouraged.
The first plateau was not too bad. The second one was harder to break. I decided that I had lost enough weight to handle a full-body workout and some higher intensity cardio. I decided to mix up my strength training at the gym that I was going to with 2-3 evenings per week at a Title Boxing location near me. High intensity boxing drills and abs for 60 minutes with resistance training on alternate evenings pretty much shattered my second plateau. It takes time and patience but it can be done and you feel like a different person altogether.
@@flyman2608 I'm pretty sure kudos is spelled kudos.
@@raularmas317 That's the same spelling Raul.
women are never clingy, needy or desperate because they are on easy mode , they just have to show up, but rather they are used, stressed with tons of emotional baggage with less or nothing to offer
I see your perspectives and I love the video 🙂. There are two major controversies that I want to address in your video that can be taken from a different perspective. When you say, " That only works because he is attractive or he is only with her because he makes a lot of money," is not solely victimizing, but it is actually the cold harsh reality. Realism at its finest. People don't always say stuff like that to victimize themselves, but to expose the truth. Many men and women have "pretty privilege" in life and can get away with doing a lot of mischievous things because of how attractive they are. I notice many people give "free passes" for people who are more attractive than people who are average or are considered unattractive. It's reality. The people who use quotes like that, may not even be trying to victimize themselves too. These people may actually accept that they aren't that attractive and make the best out of it to achieve better, but still expose the truth. I see where you are coming from, but it is not seen from that one view alone. Also, people get in relationships for many reasons too. Many people just want money, sex, and other resources from the relationship and not really care at all about the other person. Many people put up fronts in public, but that's not who they are. Not everyone is in it for love, many men and women are mischievous these days. See the posts on Tik Tok and Twitter, you'll see it. I love your take on it though, positive mindsets are key. The whole "Being Yourself" thing is not really the best advice either. You mention trying to improve yourself for the better later on in the video, which completely contradicts "Being Yourself." Improving yourself usually requires slight changes in character, so you wouldn't actually be acting like yourself, but like a different brand new person because you improved and act differently. Many people act like their true selves and a lot of times, it really just isn't good enough for the other person. We all have different likes in people. You have to really think about this to understand. I love your positivity when you explain it from your view though :). I always enjoy your videos.
I'm so thankful for discovering Courtney, I've been doing a lot of these mistakes and failing miseraby even though in looks I'm above average(but we all know they don't get you very far if your character sucks ass like mine did and still does) and things are slowly getting better
The victim part is so true. It's why I try to avoid people obsessed with politics. They're insufferable to be around.
A woman can truly never tell a male about dating advice because they've never been on my own. The sad truth is if you're over 6' tall and good looking and built and have money you won't have any trouble finding a female. All the sense of humor and game or whatever will not make any difference if they're not already attracted to you
I know a bunch of average looking guys who are under 6 ft tall who get a lot of pretty women. I’m better looking than they are and they get more women than I do. This is both frustrating and encouraging. You can do it!
@@Kylebeard0720 I agree brother
Every single point mentioned in video was relevant 🙏
Lots of respect to you courtney💙
I am following your channel from very begining and i can say you have turned into an alfa female too 😎
Thank you my friend!
If you are rich you might attract a bad girl but a good women will always choose you over money
❤️
Where are they- the good women?
The situation is grim and bleak for any men not in the very top percentages as far as height and income I have seen Courtney acknowledge this in other videos. She repeats ad nauseam about confidence and insecurity. I would like to see a womans confidence and security after dealing with the rejection rate and then the treatment from the opposite sex enjoyed by 90% of men.
Amen
I have a disability. Epilepsy, in the past when gals learned about that, I got tossed out with used cat litter. Gentlemen or not everyone is different but I could only handle having my heart ripped out about half a dozen times. If that happens to any guy here, just take a break. Don’t stop, take a break, unfortunately I walked away. Don’t make that mistake.
What prevents you from walking back?
This list is a brilliant and applies to ALL relationships. While physical appearance has fewer implications for non-romantic involvements, being clingy, insecure, negative and inauthentic is not what I'm looking for in a friend, business associate or anyone I come I across.
If you grew up watching Disney and you make women the sole focus of your attention, you will definitely come off as needy and clingy. Showing excessive attention in the beginning will also make you look desperate so it is best to focus on everything going on in your world and let the girl interested in you be more of a treat and not the main focus
That you Joe. I agree.
@@FGj-xj7rd *tips hat*
@Nic777 true, they want to feel noticed and desired, yet if you put them on a pedestal, constantly, women tend to be afraid of failure and embarrassment, and when you put someone on a pedestal, you take all of the pressure off of yourself and put it onto the girl and that definitely worries them. Like I always say, the Lord made my shoulders bigger than hers for a reason
🙌🏼
What do you mean girls don’t like me? So many said we’re just friends
I think it's because most guys are looking for the wrong kind of girls in the wrong kinds of places. Also nowadays some girls just wanna text or keep you on all these different apps. I do think some women/people can make feel clingy, or anxious. Cuz i noticed I'm not always like that around every woman or person. I do appreciate your honesty and advice tho. I wish you a lovely day 😊🙌🏽♥️
This is true as well! Thanks Georgio 🙌🏼
Man. I’m most guilty of this one. It hurts when she ghosts you. Cheats on you. And when u settle for less so often u believe that is the best you will ever get.
Proud to say this year I have lost 45 lbs. been watching your videos everyday I feel those insecure demonic thoughts creep into my head.
I’m a beautiful person. Finally just focusing on becoming the best version of myself I wish I knew about you years ago these videos you create would of saved me tons of pain and sleepless nights 🙏
3 weeks into weight loss plan, down 11 lbs, working on the neediness its hard when youve been single for 6 years with very intermittent intimacy, its hard to not want it when your subconcious brain is screaming at you to do something
If I had one wish, I'd go back to my teenage years and show myself this video. This is everything I was and I was one miserable bastard that was constantly being friend-zoned. Happily married now and no longer like this, but I missed out on so much by feeling sorry for myself. I'll be making damn sure my son doesn't go down this path.
Good for you for being self-aware and getting yourself out of that mindset! So many people spend their whole lives living that way. Thanks for sharing this!
I'd go back and tell myself not to be a needy Oneitis Simp, and to grow a pair...
(and that's just the 'me' of a few months ago :'( )
Let us know when she divorces you, because just by reading your comment I know your wife will divorce you within the next 10 years
@Ljosi yes my first port of call when we divorce will be to come back here and inform some rando prick in the comments section of a RUclips video that it has happened. Penning it in my diary as we speak.
@@awkwardhoors good
Well here's the thing. I've always dressed nice and kept groomed cuz I thought that's what a responsible human being does. And I've been told by several female family members and friends. Why I walk around so happy when I have nothing to be happy or confident about they tell me I'm not handsome or rich and that I have a false sense of self-worth
I am a 6'1', 200 lb viking, very muscular, fit and athletic, have a deeper voice than anyone I've ever have met, and about a 7 in looks. I have no problem initiating contact even with good looking women. But as soon as my Asperger's kicks in: Game over - almost before it even starts. Autists are legendary for their poor face reading skills - but even I can see the face of the women go from "flirting and interested" to "WTF?" in a matter of minutes, even seconds. Aspergers turns a 10 into a zero hero. Some men are just completely chanceless in the dating market.
from experience: asperger's sucks. but i've got ptsd, avpd, stpd and sad too lol. complete social cripple
@@stainedClass2112 I feel you. I have also several other comorbid disorders; ADHD, Tourettes, OCD, etc. Asperger's rarely comes alone. I have a measured IQ of around 125, but still have no clue when it comes to social interactions. Relations with the opposite sex can be summed up in one word: Catastrophic. Asperger's is truly hell on earth.
What do you mean your aspbergers kicks in? What do you end up doing?
1. You're clingy, needy, or desperate
-should have mindset you'll be just fine regardless of outcome
-scarcity mindset vs abundancy mindset
-causes you to be anxious
-don't blow up her phone
2. Insecurity
-needing reassurance all the time
-stop saying "I don't know why you're with me" etc...
-don't point out your insecurities
-show your confidence and happiness and invite people to share it
-insecurity costs you chances to succeed
-insecurity makes you an undesirable pushover
-if you think you can or think you can't, you're right
-confidence isn't a 24 hour thing, but know when to be confident
3. Negative attitude and playing the victim
-people who see the positives and focus on solutions are attractive
-don't blame others for problems, or belittle people you're jealous of
4. Appearance
-put effort into your appearance, inside and outside
-physical attraction does play a huge role in the initial stages of attraction
5. Being inauthentic
-very important
-bragging, claiming to be things you're not
-you wouldn't want someone who doesn't want the real you anyway
How do you go from having an scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset when all you've known is failure. It's sound advice but difficult to put into practice, especially when you have low self esteem and are afraid of getting hurt
You are all you need. If you are good alone then you already have an abundance. A woman is supposed to be additive not supplemental. Cheers!
I was insecure in the sense that I had the need to "prove" myself in love,work and friendships. This insecurity stemmed from a troubled upbringing and not feeling a sense of belonging. Over the years that insecurity disappeared with success (from hard work) and strong friendships. If you're feeling insecure, not one else is ever going to fulfill that void in you. You have to tackle it with goal achieving and making connections
Thank you for this Courtney, I am proud to share that “I’ve become what I want to attract”
And because of that, you’ve gained a new Subscriber in me😌
Fixing yourself from the inside is the most important. Social conditioning from teachers and parents ect really fucked us over later in life. Now its time to unlearn those mindsets and accept who we are first then improve
Add number 6:
You are not what women are looking for to chat with.
There are those that love to chat with anyone. Just go up with a pleasant look on your face and say Hello! If the turn away,, they may be having a bad day, go just wantcto chat with a certain type of guy.
But if they say hello back, start chatting with them about simple topics, and go from there! Maintain a,positive attitude. Throw in a joke or two. Maybe a,light hearted tease. And enjoy the conversation like two ( or more) people.
If it goes well, the next time you may see them, they might say hello to you first!
I hate trying to distinguish between clingy and “putting in work”. Like I have dated women before who went ghost after texting them and asking about their day. Got told “I was clingy” for texting a lot after a few dates. Like I am trying to solidify a relationship and getting told “that’s clingy” makes dating very “game like” and I felt like I got used for dates quite a bit when I was simply trying to “lock in” a relationship with gals I felt attracted to. I stopped doing that but then I feel like I have been ghosted at when I didn’t want to come off as “clingy” because of previous experiences. Best way to be is to not “double or triple text” but it’s something I’ll admit I struggle with.
Men, be careful with this video. Don't beat yourself up trying to attract women. You can have none of these issues and women will still ignore you, avoid you, dislike you, etc. There's nothing wrong with trying to become more attractive to women, but remember that you can be more than good enough and people still might not care. You can write the best book in the world but that doesn't mean most people will read it. That's just how things are.
BUT... that doesn't mean there aren't things you can do to become more attractive. There are. But have self-respect and confidence NOW that you are a human and that you still deserve to be loved and respected NOW. It's just tough out there right now. Not in the dating market, but in everything. People aren't that social or nice overall.
True, but stats are showing AFA dating it's not just "right now" it's, to use a cliche, "the new normal".
Thank you Courtney!
You are so right. I am one of your "Senior" fans. Always be yourself and just enjoy the moment. If it doesn't work out,, be thankful that you shared the experience together.
At the end of the day we are all actors, there’s no such thing as authentic. That’s like saying make up makes you beautiful, it doesn’t it’s all psychological. It’s about acceptance and respect. Women today don’t respect men just for being men, social media has created one giant illusion that crumbles every time someone gets hurt and then a new cycle starts.
There's a difference between embellishing what's already there and completely making something up. There are guys out there completely making shit up about their life. They brag about an impressive job that they don't have or money that they don't have. It's like those people taking pictures of themselves standing next to an expensive car that's not theirs and pretending that it is on social media.
incel
So true
In that case, what a great thing to make you unique authentic is. Be authentic, be proud that you are and you're already special. Likewise make sure you don't date someone obsessed with social media and fake.
All of these things aren't just things that help you in dating they are regular life concerns that everyone should take into account. I really resonated with what you were saying about insecurities. I had figured out that by telling self deprecating jokes, it actually made ppl repulsed bc they felt they had to reassure me when in my mind I thought I was just making a joke. A lot of times you can air out insecurities without even noticing and it does make someone not want to be around you.
Yeah self deprecating jokes have to be not about your actual insecurities or it's a lame vibe it gives out. They make you funny and likeable providing you don't actually care about whatever it is. Everybody can tell if you do.
1.Guys act cooler than they are!
2.Guys try to change themselves to match the girls.
3.Guys are resentful towards women.
4.Guys don’t have basic fundamentals(eye contact,hygiene,clothes down)
5.Too much interest
6Not enough interest
Those are the big six
True!
You would be resentful towards women to if they were negative and didn't like you
Isn't it funny how much work us guys have to do on ourselves,to avoid displaying any of the traits that most women will happily bring ALL of to the table and then expect us to just put up with them?
Translation, GET WEALTHY FIRST, then worry about a relationship. Women are so much more cooperative with rich guys than blue collar guys.
Courtney, you didn’t need to make this video. I already knew all this Lmfao.
Seriously, this was a good talk. I truly needed this
Abudance mindset is all fine and well, but the most common complaint I'm hearing from my single male friends is that they can't seem to match up with people on apps, and don't know what avenue to try to meet women outside of it.
So, when they get to a date, scarcity is not a mindset, it's a reality.
Absolutely. Many people seem to miss this point. If you've been lost in the desert without water and finally stumble upon an oasis, I'm sure you're going to gulp down water instead of sipping.
I’m a dude and am 27. I’m not sure what it’s like to be in a relationship because I’ve never been in one but also at the same time I’m just working on myself. I’m not against experimenting whether it’s short term or long term, the only thing is that I’m afraid of a false accusation. Does anyone else have the fear of a false accusation?
First half of my life I was battered beaten and bullied so by the time I reached Middle School I was so insecure and withdrawn. It took awhile to realize little things about myself like the fact that I'm smart and funny and apparently some girls thought I was cute these were things I never knew because I spent so much of my early years being abused
Courtney is an excellent communicator, coach/mentor.
Female perspective here ... first of all YES to everything Courtney says. At a more granular level, I would say what I see missing most in men is 1) unkept appearance - I put in a lot of thought and time into looking nice, so I feel like men can definitely do the same, 2) respectful assertiveness - come talk to me/ask me for my #/ask me out for coffee, but if I clearly show I'm busy and/or not interested, gracefully walk away, 3) ask me questions - seriously, do you even want to get to know me or do you just like me bc I'm pretty?, 4) be upfront and clear about your interest and intentions - ie "I think you're a cool person and would like to get to know you better. I'd love to take you on another date.", and 5) be as consistent as possible and communicate your feelings all along the way - none of this hot and cold stuff.
Absolutely LOVE this comment. Thank you for sharing your perspective and advice, Muriel! ❤️
Outside of looking nice, I see the rest of those qualities in so few women, it's not worth mentioning.
@@johngalt6838 exactly what I was thinking... and those where I see it, they are usually taken for a long time.
@@johngalt6838 why do you think men and women are or should be the same in their behaviors when it comes to relationships? You are starting from a false premise - men and women are different and are attracted to different things.
@@jleano609 being respectful, candid, etc. Those should apply to both, I believe.
Love how she's talking about the fear of rejection like it's no big deal. Meanwhile they never have to go through that trial.
Rejection is not a big deal... Rejection is part of life as a whole - Odds you will fail or get rejected in all aspects of your life at some point. Obsessing over that rejection is not going to get you anywhere or be healthy for you.
@@jamescalder5115 That may be true. Though still doesn't nullify the fact that she as a female doesn't have to approach and go through that time and time again.
Its easy for a woman to talk about rejection lols. Or what men "should" be, although most women aren't good enough for their man either. They're just sheltered from reality because they never have to approach anyone, only to say yes or no to people who do approach, creating the illusion that there's nothing in them that needs fixing and that it's only the men who need to put in work.
@@LGDarksteed So what? Does that mean what she said was wrong? No of course it doesn't you just don't like that she said it because she is a woman.
Not to mention you seem to be under this illusion that women never face rejection... Everybody faces rejection - Men face it more in terms of dating but everybody faces rejection thats part of life.
@@jamescalder5115 Exactly men face it more when it comes to dating. Getting turned down over & over again takes a toll on anyone. It's like being apart of a sports team and no matter how much you try you can never score any points. Also there is a big difference in the types of rejection one faces. Romantic rejection carries more weight then say an employment rejection. Minimize it so much is disingenuous, especially when she isn't even one that has to go through that over & over again perhaps hundreds of times in a row. It always takes a toll.
When it comes to communication, it is a good practice to use, ‘texting only for plans’. This will be a ‘anxiety’ negation for those who become anxious on the response. Think of texting like tennis. Any other conversation that you share with the partner of interest, talk with them over the phone to discover who they are.
i agree.
@@callidus5586 share any more information that may help the people if I forgot to mention anything, please!
Really phone is just a tool to get dates also - especially in early stages you are just giving away free attention and building very little attraction in any non face-to-face communication. You've always got to frame things from the mindset of "my time is valuable, I'm not going to waste it on low value activities or with women who are wishy-washy". If she's not sitting across from you YOU'VE GOT NOTHING! You can't build or test her attraction unless you are together.
@@jleano609 Right. That is exactly my point. ‘Playing it like tennis’ is a good way to play off the ‘my time is valuable’ aspect you are talking about. If any partner is ‘wishy-washy’ as you mentioned, on to the next. The channel of communication can evolve with anyone you speak with. It is a matter of directing it from texts, voice memos, phone calls, FaceTimes, etc. it’s all on the individuals.
@@jaywaup No, my point is this. Texts, voice memos, phone calls, FaceTimes are all secondary to the main aim which is to go on a bloody date with her! Thus they are simply tools to do that. Once you've set the date, STFU and SAVE IT FOR THE DATE!!!!!
You say "talk with them over the phone to discover who they are". No! Take her for a cup of coffee, Man.
I wish I heard this in my 20s. Had to learn this the hard way😬
😄 Love it. Courtney giving the black pill trolls a complimentary ice-bucket challenge. No charge.
She puts on glasses and spits out advise that's been said a million times thanks alot
If you walk with intention, speak with intention, and act with intention, not only will you feel more confident in yourself but people will see you as confident. Achieving goals, getting over hurdles, winning a competition and even surviving heavy lifting will not only boost your testosterone but it will also boost your confidence
Courtney, you are welcome to pin this haha but it won't affect me if you don't, I just want to get the message out there so that men become more competent and confident
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT COURTNEY. 💯🎉🎊
Just be yourself implies you don’t need to improve/push forward (aka you peaked and it’s downhill from here) never finish climbing. Actively pushing to be the best version of you is significantly more attractive.
@Evidence-Based Health UK you keep plateauing and I will keep losing weight and loving myself and learning new skills. Sorry you feel toxic about others wanting to live a healthier life.
I think you just described the entire human race. Real men don't get caught up with women .they chase goals and prepping for the future . Regardless , what comes their way.
It looks like women are finally red-pilling their dating advice. I guess the red pill is the way after all.
Also, I appreciate the honesty. If more women were to acknowledge these truths, I believe there would be less communication problems between the sexes on this matter and more guys would know what they were doing wrong from an earlier age. Trying to talk to girls about why I don't get girls has so many flowery, maddening empty cliches from their end it drives me nuts. This was all constructive and I think accurate. It's not necessarily easy to follow but if it was then I would have gotten more girls by now on my own.
It's silly to put a label for something that is simply practical advice.
These I can add to your list 👇🏼
Breaking Promises
Not Listening
Showing Disrespect on the Others
🙌🏼
Men, you are allowed to have any emotion along the human spectrum. A man with pain is not a red flag - suppressing how you feel in order to be liked is.
Hahaha.....bro try to be "vulnerable" to your woman and watch her cheat on you with Chad....
@@somaspecialist If you think suppressing your emotions will stop a girl from cheating you have another think coming.
NO BRO.....don't be VULNERABLE....especially in front of women, that's the danger zone..
@@2livenoob Then try it.....and see what happens. In fact, let it all out and cry on her shoulders..
@@somaspecialist if you are a crier than cry! If not, than don't. If you're scared than be scared. If you're daring than be that. But for God sakes don't suppress your behavior just to get a girl to like you.
Secretly hoping the music and outtro theme never change. Love that there’s an outtro now.
"A man doesn't need to respect a woman in order to feel attracted to her, but a woman needs to respect a woman in order to feel attracted to him"
That was a powerful quote or statement that changed my view or perspective, what do you think of that?
#screenshot lol
No offense, bro but you sound like a beta male!
No matter how true my love was....But i was having all these problems....And i got rejected by her....And after that i changed myself....And at this point of my life i'm extremely stable....And extremely confident of myself...cheers✌️
Best advice
Treat her like a celebrity and you will get treated like a FAN.
Hence. Only FANS
OlyFansOnly for us weightlifters 🤣🤣🤣
Yep!!
I'm lonely, isolated. At the age of 23, making friends is hard. Honestly, it feels too late for me, to ever get better. I want to improve, I want to be a good person that makes other people happier. All I'm lacking is hope, and I have none of that. I keep failing academically due to my ADHD. I'm convinced that no one is a loser because they're not me. You can't possibly be as lost of a cause as me. Every day, I hate my interfiority complex, not showing it to anyone. This is the only place, this comment right here, where I vent it.
Great tips! I agree, being clingy, needy, and desperate will definitely do it! No woman is going to continue to like a man that she basically has in the palm of her hand.
Women love a challenge, if she knows that she can have you any time she wants to, then she’s going to start losing interest - it’s just the way it is, it’s human nature.
You have to act like you’ve been there before, and turn the tables on her - make her chase you instead, that’s the way it should be! Lol
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Lol thank you Carlos! 🙌🏼
@@CourtneyRyan No problem! My pleasure. Lol
I like your bit at 4:14 on negative attitiude/playing the victim as I wrestle with the guilt I feel over icing an old friend out of my life but I can't take his endless whining/moralizing/paranoia any more and realised recently he's never gonna change. It's just so "draining" as you say, and any attempt to cheer him up is effort thrown into a bottomless black hole. No wonder he keeps running out of people to complain at 🤦
@Michael Rolling I have zero interest in getting my ex back, thanks.
Your advice are really legit
100%
Well said - Tabish!
Great tips! I agree, being clingy, needy, and desperate will definitely do it! No woman is going to continue to like a man that she basically has in the palm of her hand.
Women love a challenge, if she knows that she can have you any time she wants to, then she’s going to start losing interest - it’s just the way it is, it’s human nature.
You have to act like you’ve been there before, and turn the tables on her - make her chase you instead, that’s the way it should be! Lol
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Thank you! 🥰
I give my crush hostile looks and always ignore her. I know she will never love me, so it feels good to know that I'll never be rejected. No Serial Killer.
Who's this person with glasses? Where did Courtney go?
It's like seeing a twin hahaha
😂 was having eye trouble this day lol
@@CourtneyRyan Some strange lady stole your channel. Take care 😥
Your last point is right on the spot. BE YOURSELF!
I can't stop smiling at how your glasses shrink your eyes 😅
I look deformed 😂 it makes me laugh lol enjoy