So I can understand the sentiment with all of this. The problem is, as you mentioned Courtney, that all of this should be reciprocated. It's really not. A huuuuuge percentage of effort that men put in on a regular basis towards women is not reciprocated. They are not honest about not being attracted to us. They will gladly receive the effort, the favors, the gifts, the money, whatever, while still throwing themselves at the men who DON'T put in the effort. If you're not attracted, don't accept anything offered.
Amen! And have the class to at least offer to help out with the dinner bill. Chances are we'll decline your offer, but at least we won't be able to look at you as a user after it's obvious we've been friendzoned
This is very true. Though Courtney makes some valid points she doesn't really know what it's like on the dating scene for a man. She has never dated a woman. She keeps talking about pursuing a woman. You NEVER pursue a woman. The minute that you do you have lost the game, she will think she is better than you and you're done. This is what women will not tell you. All you do it present yourself and give her the key word is OPPORUNITY to get with you. It's a mindset shift. Don't get into the simp mindset of pursuing a woman.
@@nicksmith-cx1fx Agreed. But unfortunately, whenever I do that, it's only the 7s and lower who take the opportunity without at least SOME initial pursuit from me. And I'm a high value guy who is even looked upon as a Chad by many people, smh.
@@Lonstermash it's about the mindset. If you're coming at dating with the mindset of pursuing in this day and age of simps god help you. Dating starts in the mind and your actions will follow. Yes you can pursue but be ready for the disrespect.
1) Being clingy and desperate 2) Poor communication skills-Being a good listener too (lil side bonus tip she sneaks in) 3) Coming on too strong 4) Not being direct and taking the lead 5) Dishonesty Don’t worry…big papa’s got you.
DON'T SPEND TONS of MONEY on woman you barely know! and if that means she's splits, she was just a shallow, gold-digger and NOT worth your time (much less that money you spent). Signed, a woman who's a Real Human Being
A lot of Courtney’s points can apply to women as well. But if I could think of a couple “don’t’s” for ladies: don’t change plans at the last minute; don’t be selfish (relationships are give AND take) and don’t cry / complain when men ask for time for themselves (we need personal space, time to work on our projects and time with friends). Great list!
"Great! I'll take that advice," said no modern woman, ever. We are not allowed to give advice out..wait, except when they are venting... oh and except when they need a tire fixed, oh.. and... we are full of flaws, and they, flawless.. except when they spend 39 minutes applying makeup to hide their flaws, oh and except when they get tummy tucks, oh and except when they get augmentations, and wear girdles to hide their belly fat, oh and except. ...see a pattern here?
@@Cantetinza17 I have no doubt both genders are guilty of these DON'T's. BUT Courtney did ask what are some things women can do to improve themselves. Another one for women would be: don't spend all your time on your phone when you're with your date / partner. Just a thought. :)
being too clingy/ desperate 0:54 poor communication skills 3:32 coming on too strong 6:10 not being direct/ not putting in any effort 9:01 dishonesty 11:54
I was clingy with someone once and I did not realize it until it was over and reflected on the events of our situation. I’ll never make that mistake again.
As someone who has lived almost 30 years without going on a date or getting involved with women beyond platonic friendship, having hobbies is the best, they give you something to look forward to and make you happy
I feel Courtney is giving great advice here. I do not consider myself an "Alpha Male'", "Pick-Up Artist", a "1%." or a "SIMP." Obviously, there has been a paradigm shift in the dating world, with dating applications and social media, I don't think anyone will disagree with that, but these tips/advice have always been the 101 guide too dating. Attractive women or any women for that matter, may have several options at any given time, thats okay gents, focus on becoming a better version of you and you'll be suprised at what you can accomplish and what you will attract. I tell my friends to approach dating, with a carefree comical approach because who doesn't like to laugh and theres no reason to be so serious in the beginning stages or when you're trying to approach or court a women, let your intuition be your guide as how to proceed. If she hasn't answered you're message in a timely fashion, chances are she's just not interested and thats okay. It has been in my experience, that women do in fact prefer a man, who isn't so serious and concerned with rejection. The most important thing is, do not lose yourself, women can see right through that. Also, no inappropriate pictures. I just hope one day I'll get the Heart from Courtney lol. Good luck and may your dates be winning.
I haven't dated since 2010 but I really enjoy content like this. No idea why -- I have no interest in a relationship for myself, however, you seem very sweet and genuine. I hope you go on to do great things and continue with this subject matter. You're helping men everywhere ✌️
I have 4 kids with my x so we keep in touch, she yaps forever on the the phone and said how she berated him and compared some of his ways to mine. I thought how humiliating and insulting for him and how insensitive of her.
I hate it when women do that ish… that IS a big turn off/put off I agree with you. It’s a deal breaker for me if she keeps bringing an ex back. I dealt with that once too. Women stuck in the past on an ex best to just leave be and walk away.
Ladies ( and gentlemen), if you want us to plan dates then at least be willing to share what you like/don't like instead of giving the vague "surprise me" or "whatever you want" and be disappointed. It's just an example but imagine you tell us to plan something when we have very little idea yet of your tastes and decide to plan lunch on a balloon ride...and when we get there you tell us you're afraid of heights after we kept asking for info but just kept getting "I don't care, use your imagination." We would like to plan dates but we also need something to start with. Not all of us are great at planning things without some initial info.
Invited a girl to first date at ice cream. She doesn't eat sweets. 😂 Now when I plan dates I don't make it a surprise...I ask her if she always wanted to do something but never got to and also offer a few choices where she would like to go. The point is to have fun together, not read her mind.
You’re thinking way too hard bud. Obviously you’ll get good ideas of what she loves and what not by talking to her when you meet her. That’s when you take advantage and ask her questions. Like what her favorite music is, what type of food she likes, does she love getting on rides, is she an outdoor girl, etc etc
One hack here is to plan something you enjoy. It may turn out that she will enjoy your enthusiasm for your plan. Worst case you learn something she doesn’t like, which she can’t fault you for.
Maybe start smaller. My wife and I met online in 2004 and talked for a few weeks before meeting in person. We met at a fun park with mini-golf, go-karts and skee-ball. Been married 15 years this year. Pick something where you are doing something. A movie is a bad choice because there is no interaction, it's passive. If you have fun during the activities, you can then go for a meal and talk. You get to know a lot about a person by seeing how they handle winning or losing at mini-golf, or skee-ball. Told our kids (we each had kids from prior marriages before this) to take any potential spouse on a float trip and share a canoe. If you cannot work together to float a mild river, chances are you cannot work together to navigate challenges during a marriage. If a float trip isn't your thing or you are afraid of water, buy some IKEA furniture and assemble it working together. Basically the same test. If you have fun, proceed. If you want to kill one another, think twice before going any further. But the first date should be an activity that engages both of you. Or, and I'll admit, I've never tried this with a first date. Have a progressive date. You each pick 2 or 3 places to go and DO something. That way you learn about one another. Tell her within X distance of some central spot, pick two places you want to go and she will do the same. You list the first spot as she may not want to get in a car with you without knowing more. After that, if she wants to continue, she suggests her activity and you go there. Back and forth. Like you pick the amusement place and rent bikes in the park and ride around. She might pick a museum or gallery. Whatever. That way, you BOTH plan AND you get her to show some cards. At anytime, you each have a choice to continue or end it.
I kinda agree. My mom told me a long time ago, if one person is chasing one person isn't interested. She's in her 60s and very traditional but still holds true for me at least to this day.
I don’t really chase girls or message them a lot. I had a crush with my coworker. She also knew this from me. That chance to get in a relationship with her never came. So I moved on happily
Great videos! About listening, most of us have a blind spot about listening. We always think we listen twice if no thrice more than we actually do. And talk twice less than we actually do. So it's important to keep that in mind and double down on the listening compared to what we perceive. Even when being mindfull this default setting comes up more than we think. Just my 2 cents.
I am married and do have a daughter that are 20 years old now. Yet i am really enjoying your videos and your from a woman perspective. Helps me to understand the women in my life a little bit better.
I can not wrap my mind around sending unrequested "pics" nobody asked for. Honestly I don't even like when they're given willingly, never have never would. There's something scummy and skeevy about it to me and I feel like if you're at that point with eachother then you see the real thing in person. Not to mention pics can be used against you in some nightmare scenario. Just don't do it.
I had a girl send me naked pictures and it disgusted me.. She became very unattractive to me and I lost interest. Why would any sane person send Naked pictures to others. If you need to do that to someone he/she is not relationship material period!.
@@RAimotion there is something about not saving that for private and in person that seems to drop them into a lower value category for some of us for sure.
@@RAimotion there is something about not saving that for private and in person that seems to drop them into a lower value category for some of us for sure.
Seems a little nuts doesn't it? I've been married now for more than 29 years and probably wouldn't send a pic to my own wife even if she asked me to. A friend of mine who was my former manager and in a previous life had been a federal investigator once advised me to be careful and have an awareness about documenting anything private in an email/text/message that could potentially be used against you. Now, he was talking specifically about work and things that should be kept confidential but that is good advice for outside of the workplace ... and I can't think of much that is more private and confidential than images of your privates.
Most men don't tell girl's everything because women talk to much and sometimes they can use your own things against you. Something that i hate is when i tell a girlfriend something they tell they friends i really hate that
@@johnpatrick3096 Don’t reveal information to the ONE person you’re supposed to be able to trust implicitly? Man... you must be real comfortable with toxic relationships.
@@jb5625 yea it sux.. if ur gf does this to u even after u told her dnt tell anyone.. she is red flag.. if u cant get trust ur gf/wife then what the hell..
I’m really tired of being a punching bag and guinea pig for each new girl I want to date. It’s like coming to the ring for a fight. It’s can drive a passion in the beginning but not intimacy and honesty for the long run relationship! Every time I should expect for the new test so I can’t relax and let myself be honest and my true self cause I KNOW RIGHT NOW SHE’s PROVOKING ME (which I take as manipulation) Like it’s said where there’s a competition there’s no place for love. I end up giving up honesty and being open hearted. My core belief now is that I can’t build trust even if I like the girl very much! And why need relationship if there’s no trust between partners?! ❤️From Ukraine to you, Courtney!
From what you've written I understand that you have not yet internalized enough of your own locus of control. My suggestion: work on doing more "internalizing" so you(your emotions) won't be so easily triggered. I think it was pretty common practice(in olden times) for little girls (who hadn't yet evolved the communication skills) to literally "sock" or punch the boys they actually liked in the arms, just like their male friends.
What shall you do if a girl takes 5 or more days to reply to a simple conversation, even though both matched on tinder. She might be really busy as a law University student shall you take 5 days as well to start another conversation or reply. Shall you ask her to join you for dinner after couple series of these long feedback online conversation? is the girl taking too long to respond on purpose so that months would pass, maybe she wants at a later stage? or shall you stop trying to make a conversation with her and talk alternating on week yes and one week no? : )
@@owenaquilina5001 i'd give her a chance (If only she really worth it) after some time. If there will be no vibe again then simply forget it without taking her to your head any longer.
Courtney, I'm sure there's probably a video like this in some form or fashion already, but could you consider this for a video idea: "10 things men in their first relationship should know about". Something like that would be quite helpful since some of us didn't have uncles, older brothers, fathers, father figures, etc to tell us all this stuff, and since it's our first relationship, we don't know wtf we're doing. Thanks!
I have watched several of your videios and I love the way you put the inforation in a not a put down but ina simple way that some of us men can grab hold of it and use it rightly. Thank you so much.
I appreciate these tips Courtney and most them i have already begin to apply in my dealings with women because i had no choice especially that clingy stuff. I think a 5 things women shouldn't do with a guy that has good intentions is definitely needed. I do think some women trigger these negative reactions in guys with their actions too now. So sometimes i don't think guys especially ones on your channel intend to act in a off putting way. Anyways God bless and guys keep focusing things that energize you. You'll be so better off.
Ikigai is a Japanese term that blends two words: “iki” meaning “to live,” and “gai” meaning “reason,” which translates to “a reason to live.” It's a concept that encourages people to discover what truly matters to them and to live a life filled with purpose and joy. Courtney mentions that guys should stop focusing solely on chasing women. Chase your own life instead, because you only get ONE, and if you waste IT that's your fault.
Really love all of your content. Down to earth. The advice most people should hear. A video suggestion would be on actual types of date ideas? Personally, there is a new dating guideline I try to follow. Never go out on a date that you wouldn't enjoy doing yourself.
I use to be really clingy. Most of it was out of boredom. Now I spend most of my free time making RUclips videos, mountain biking or doing CrossFit competitions. It's also a lot easier to talk to women when they're not the main focus.
I have to agree with the section on being direct and taking the lead (Once you already have their attraction and interest) Just like in dancing, woman want you to take the lead- if you won't, they will walk. Every time. This has happened to me more than I care to say. And its a hard lesson to swallow. Only now, in my 40's, do I understand where I was going wrong with woman. Sad but true. If you like the girl and she likes you, take action. Trust me, they want you to be a man of action and take the lead.
I fully agree with the content, love it! Just wanted to comment on the guy talking all about himself. I've talked with many different women who never ask ME any questions. I love learning about them, but they end up barely knowing me.
"Being a good communicator" can applied to women as well. There's one time I went to a date with a girl who, I think, not good at communication and talking about her whole life at our first date. At that point I understood the feeling of a woman who have to succumb to a 'talk-a-lot' guy on the date, completely....
I've been watching your videos for three months and didn't realize that I have not subscribed. Whoops. lol Love the way you go into detail and make it simple.
guys, this generation isn't for dating. Make money and set your life up so you won't struggle in the future. I promise you, if you're financially secure at 35 because you took the initiative, it will make you way happier than any women. You'll have so much money to invest as well, because you won't have some girl or kid holding you back. Dating should be so easy, like you don't understand. It shouldn't be a hit or miss with women, you will know when she likes you. If you have to make a valiant effort to please her, it's not worth it.
I’m a mgtow priest and I approve this message. Ps How long will it take for humanity to die off the earth if more rational people listened to this advice and followed it??
@@PK-gs3xo True. Women don't empathize with men. They don't care, that's why they do it. Dating isn't worth for right now, in this damn generation. I wouldn't have said this if I were born in the 80s or 90s. It wasn't as bad back then.
@@joemoshowasdfjoweifojaoifdwto they do empathize they just also are very emotionally unstable because they are hormonal. Not their fault it’s how they are wired. But women should never be placed on a pedestal. They’re human just like us.
Great tips here.. Although these days most of my potentials I connect with first online so we tend to talk a lot about who we are,our backgrounds,interests,and what we're looking for long before meeting up.. Also I tend to be up front and encourage that as opposed to small talk and comparing notes of expectations. I emphasize that I am openminded mostly and seek that.. A lot of the time we jump to a phone conversation which really brings about putting everyone at ease.. The very process I have generally described either builds up to a meetup or they simply weed themselves out.. Great tips here,sounds like my filters.. Yeah I only pursue as much as Its being reciprocated.
Thank you for all your great content. My suggestion for the woman version would be what you touched on for the men version, over expectation. If men always plan, ask, and do we don't really get to know how you would plan, ask, and do. Men like to be asked out for a afternoon to see how you spend your time and what you would do to have a good day. Thank you again for bringing joy to the world. 🧡😃🙏
my wife is definitely the worst communicator. she speaks something and does opposite and expects me to understand something totally different, then she mixes in some of hypocrisy as well. it's painfull.
Hey Courtney! 👋 Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. 🦃 I agree with most of the things you mentioned, especially sending explicit pictures etc. Have a good weekend!
Clingy, needy and desperate is only viewed by women if your unattractive. When she finds you unattractive even 1 text is too much and will make her think your weird, clingy and desperate.
Good point. The guys who I was already not attracted to turned me off when they sent me even a few texts. That usually doesn’t happen when you like someone… you want them to show interest. I think her point is that if they seem like their life revolves around you and they’re not doing anything with their life, that’s an issue.
I guess I'm one of those desperate ones because, sometimes, I felt... unloved and lonely. And yeah, I'm aware that I can't keep focusing on that one person, but the thing is: I don't have any real friends and, occasionally, I get bored real easily. I rather have someone I can spend the rest of my life with than be surrounded by people who made me feel like crap.
Hey, I’m practically the girl version of you. I suffer from loneliness and boredom far to easily. But people are never going to give us that happiness, happiness comes from within. I’m working hard on myself to be less desperate, clingy, and comfortable with myself. Warning, it will get even lonelier. But it’s worth it. I wish you good luck!
@@1MikuFan yes!! Build your social circle! Friends, family, partner. All have their own value. No one wants a partner that is codependent soley on you.
When it comes to dating apps, I always start by asking what their intentions are/what they look for. I get mixed responses, but usually women respect the fact you came forward and asked before progressing farther and waste each other’s time
Courtney, love your content, I wanted to add a male perspective to one of the turn-offs. Women often use “poor communication” to mean “prioritizes information over listening and empathy.” Men naturally tend to focus on the words being said, and often forget the rhythm of an engaging conversation. Women are naturally better at communicating in a way that includes the other person and makes them feel positive. So, when telling guys to “communicate better” you should add that you need to focus on the other person more instead of the content of your words, and use active listening 👍
Courtney you should do a video about 5-10 things for guys in their first dating/relationship to expect or be aware of, I think a lot of us newer guys or late bloomers could use a crash course…
One thing women do is bring there phone on the date, then start looking at it and paying attention to it and not you. I wonder, is she seeing if Chad got back to her text? Very rude. Shut the Damm phone off on an important date.
Personally if I was in that situation, depending on where we are exactly, I'd just walk off without saying anything (Irish goodbye I think it's called), and if she notices and asks "where are you going?" I'd reply with something with "away from you". If I show respect and she doesn't, why bother continuing when it's just become a waste of time?
"ask her out, if she say no, she say no" You are totally right. The problem is, they always say yes and at the last moment "oh sorry i have aquaponey" or even never respond when you ask her out
Courtney you are intellectually above your years lady. I mean you're helping dudes and women who are twice or 3 times your age. Listened to a few of your videos, you're on point. Fellas, she 100% knows what she's talking about. Kudos yo. You're probably one of the few really good women left.
If a girl cancels the first date with enough notice, but says she wants to reschedule, should I initiate a reschedule, or should I wait for her to initiate? I don’t want to chase her, but I also don’t want to make her feel like I’m not interested either.
Thanks tor the tips. 31 and never been in a relationship. Have a job, working on getting my GED,and working out., have great hygiene Happy Thanksgiving Courtney.
basically you are protected.. no broken heart, no trauma, no betrayal etc. You should have a pretty beautiful view of humanity or opposite sex i assume :D
I'm in the way of understanding that I used to talk a lot as a sort of automatic defense mechanism. It takes the "work" of owning more of your own locus of control and gaining the needed perspective to see that you are actually doing this to begin reversing this near-automatic process and begin to pause long enough to yield the "floor" so that others can have an opportunity to speak. It's hard-- at first. It'll take practice to get good at, but it can be done.
A woman once mentioned that one mistake that straight guys do with women when they take them out, is that they don't ask questions. I guess I'll have to remember to do that if I ever get to take a woman out.
As an older male, there are some things that males these days should be fully aware of...1. Women don't need you and are taught this on a daily basis,...So, there is an 80% chance that if you ask her out on a date, she will say no...there is a 90% chance that even if she says yes, that she will already have several backups in case you flop ... and there is almost a 100% chance that even if things go well and you get into a relationship, she will have someone somewhere as a replacement.....it is important to understand that you, as a male, are a usable, disposable and replaceable commodity... remember there are huge differences between pursuing, obtaining and keeping a female ...and all of these require time, money and an enormous effort ....you really have to ask yourself, is it really worth it ?? .... I have been married for over 30 years ...and I know from experience.....that input does not always lead to reward ...and the major mistake a male will make is believe that it will...
As a woman in my 20s, I find this ironic. '' It is important to understand that you, as a male, are a usable, disposable and replaceable commodity.'' Because surely, men aren't known to be players who get all sweet and lovely, untill a girl sleeps with them, and then suddenly detach while moving onto the next catch? You haven't been called 'complicated' or 'a prude' because you wanted to create a connection first, and it shows.
@@simple4kill Exactly. Both sexes can treat people as replaceable. It’s all about the person. Not all women are going to treat men as just someone they can get resources out of, and not all men are going to treat women as just a usable orifice for their own pleasure. I’m tired of all these generalizations.
@@simple4kill The men that are "the players" are probably only 20% of men. Most men under the age of 30 are virgins. Women have a lot more options when it comes to dating which makes a lot of men replaceable. Men don't have the luxury of getting bombarded with messages from women. There is nothing ironic about what he said and you should maybe try looking at things from a different perspective.
Yeah I think for most part I do all these things. Mainly because I always forget, and mainly because my memory is not always that great and social skills not good because of me having autism. But still a great video, and agree with her a lot. And we can always try harder to improve little by little.
I agree with all of your points here. I believe that I may come on a little bit strong at times....just a little bit. As for dates, I always plan them. The only time I will not is when she wants to do something, and ask me if I want to join her.
If you are a man, you send her a message, she doesn’t respond and you message her again, you need to review your values. Never do that, no matter what. If you cannot say what you think, you are not an introvert or shy. You are afraid. And it is ok to be afraid. What is not ok is to let fear control you. That is being a coward. Don’t be one. Nudes? I will send you movies suggestions, music suggestions or books suggestions!
Hello Courtney, love your channel. Some things I wish western women would understand (disclaimer: I just want to say that I love women, men should never abuse women, and men and women are perfect compliments to each other when there is a mutual “RESPECT”) : #1- there are good men out there that still want a real relationship but have been painted with a broad broad brush with all the bad experiences from the Chads and Tyrones that women typically fall for in the beginning of their dating experience and then there is incurred baggage most of us “good guys” would rather not deal with, so we choose to continue to date younger women or stay casual for life. #2- men are still expected to be traditional and women are not. #3- men do not want to hear that you want kids on a first date. #4- it’s absolutely ok to be single mom, but be patient, that’s a big potential commitment out the gate. #5- Please listen to us. Don’t always be on the offensive. There are still good men out there. We are already unfairly presumed to be a “player” or playing games due to your poor choices in men in the past. #6- please don’t label us misogynistic if we have a different opinion than yours. That’s akin to throwing the race card to win an argument because the argument wasn’t really substantial. #7- we don’t like to compete with or date women with male characteristics. We like femininity. We can get bro time with our friends. #8- marriage is a terrifying topic to any man because we have everything to lose. Statistics don’t lie. Favorability towards women is drastically skewed. When women get bored, get an itch, or feel they can do better, they can jump ship at any time and come out much better than they came into marriage with. #9- men can identify red flags as well. That is why ghosting occurs. #10- you will not find a good man on Tinder. We are working on our purpose. Try the gym, book store, training seminar, museums, etc. #10- if you haven’t read Steve Harvey’s book, read it. He’s right on most things, some are outdated. Peace n’ Love.
I know this is an older video but if you could possibly answer this Question: what should I do if me and this girl are just starting to talk and who should be the one texting first? Me or the girl ? And how do I know if she is interested?
While I am very much a fan of "traditional" dating, I find it hard to believe that I'm the only guy who gets asked to dance or to go out on a date. When I go to a dance, it happens a fair amount if I stand for longer than a minute (and sometimes when I sit down), so I actually expect it. But being asked out on a date, not quite so much.
It is irritating to be told about being too needy from people who might behave the same way if they didn't have as many options as they do (as you yourself pointed out in your video about why dating sucks).
Good advice but if we're being totally honest, the opposite could also be true for points 1-4 and I'm not speculating about that. Not giving enough attention, over communicating, not coming on strong enough, and being too direct/trying to hard are also things that can be perceived as "wrong."
About the things that women do wrong with men from my humble experience is bad communication skills,the most known "it's all good" when they mean the contrary 🙄 and also comparing you with their ex (I don't know if this is a matter of gender or happened to you guys but some of my ex girlfriends used to compare me ,my behavior or some things with their ex which is annoying
I'm a guy and I once had some women come on too strong towards me, and it really was uncomfortable. Also, keep in mind that I was 15 and these women who did that looked to be in their mid-20s. It doesn't help that there are people who believe that there's no right or wrong way to approach a guy. We're just supposed to be happy with any kind of attention we get.
It's kinda irrelevant but something I've found is that men are shamed if they reject any kinda women for any reason, unlike women are seemingly empowered to do the same thing to men. I remember a girl flipped me off in 5th grade because I didnt want to date her lol & got the shame from her friends.
@@banginbadger75 Yeap. They get REALLY mad when you don't just want to HOP right in bed with them... Sorry, I have a long vetting process to weed out the many with Daddy issues, trauma issues, etc...
Well there's the issue.. you were 15. that shzzt is weird bro. of course you would feel that way, depending on how knowledgeable you are about courting
I love your videos I just started watching them so it's pretty random and I don't know if you read anything so I'll post this on a few videos and maybe it will catch or anybody else can give me advice I'm in Naples Florida and I'm in my early 50s and I'm on a couple dating sites and everybody wants to go to dinner on a first date and down here it's $200 it's ridiculous. And if you want to meet them for drinks it starts out with $15 drinks and then it rolls into dinner and they say do you want to grab something to eat so then I get shuckled in again. How do you meet somebody without spending all that money on a first meeting I don't even call it a first date
Straight off the bat I told a girl that I am not in a good situation. Financially and in other aspects,I am in a bad spot in my life. I told her that for now I can't offer too much besides myself. So I told her straight away to not waste mine and hers time if she doesn't like what she is seeing. I think she liked that, because I was pushing her away subconsciously. And people want what they can't have and it's bad for them. She decided to stick around and put an effort with me, but to be honest my hopes are not high. I am too much of a realist to let myself get fooled. I don't want to hurt her as well.
There is a girl at work that I like (I wouldn’t usually get involved with girls from work) and I feel that she is interested in me but not all of the time. She seems to be hot and cold, she will always talk to me when we’re together and asks me questions, she always reply to my messages and not just with one word answers, we sit in the same group at lunch, she looks at me quite a bit. I think these are all good signs but every so often she acts as a little bit colder. Does she want me to chase her and should I ask her out?
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So I can understand the sentiment with all of this. The problem is, as you mentioned Courtney, that all of this should be reciprocated. It's really not. A huuuuuge percentage of effort that men put in on a regular basis towards women is not reciprocated. They are not honest about not being attracted to us. They will gladly receive the effort, the favors, the gifts, the money, whatever, while still throwing themselves at the men who DON'T put in the effort. If you're not attracted, don't accept anything offered.
Amen! And have the class to at least offer to help out with the dinner bill. Chances are we'll decline your offer, but at least we won't be able to look at you as a user after it's obvious we've been friendzoned
This is very true. Though Courtney makes some valid points she doesn't really know what it's like on the dating scene for a man. She has never dated a woman. She keeps talking about pursuing a woman. You NEVER pursue a woman. The minute that you do you have lost the game, she will think she is better than you and you're done. This is what women will not tell you. All you do it present yourself and give her the key word is OPPORUNITY to get with you. It's a mindset shift. Don't get into the simp mindset of pursuing a woman.
@@nicksmith-cx1fx Agreed. But unfortunately, whenever I do that, it's only the 7s and lower who take the opportunity without at least SOME initial pursuit from me. And I'm a high value guy who is even looked upon as a Chad by many people, smh.
@@Lonstermash it's about the mindset. If you're coming at dating with the mindset of pursuing in this day and age of simps god help you. Dating starts in the mind and your actions will follow. Yes you can pursue but be ready for the disrespect.
This is the problem with globalizing the dating economy.
1) Being clingy and desperate
2) Poor communication skills-Being a good listener too (lil side bonus tip she sneaks in)
3) Coming on too strong
4) Not being direct and taking the lead
5) Dishonesty
Don’t worry…big papa’s got you.
15 mins in 15 secs
0:53 Being too Clingy/Desperate.
3:31 Poor Communication skills.
6:09 Coming on too strong.
9:00 Not putting any effort.
11:53 Dishonesty.
"Do not sacrifice financial security to make girls like you."
I wish girls around me understand that.
@TheDoogieT lmao what a simp
Great advice!
Just make more money dude
DON'T SPEND TONS of MONEY on woman you barely know! and if that means she's splits, she was just a shallow, gold-digger and NOT worth your time (much less that money you spent). Signed, a woman who's a Real Human Being
A lot of Courtney’s points can apply to women as well. But if I could think of a couple “don’t’s” for ladies: don’t change plans at the last minute; don’t be selfish (relationships are give AND take) and don’t cry / complain when men ask for time for themselves (we need personal space, time to work on our projects and time with friends). Great list!
Everything that you say men do too. Both genders are guilty of what's on your list.
@@Cantetinza17 Low VIBE 🌝
"Great! I'll take that advice," said no modern woman, ever.
We are not allowed to give advice out..wait, except when they are venting... oh and except when they need a tire fixed, oh.. and... we are full of flaws, and they, flawless.. except when they spend 39 minutes applying makeup to hide their flaws, oh and except when they get tummy tucks, oh and except when they get augmentations, and wear girdles to hide their belly fat, oh and except. ...see a pattern here?
@@Cantetinza17 women do it MORE
@@Cantetinza17 I have no doubt both genders are guilty of these DON'T's. BUT Courtney did ask what are some things women can do to improve themselves. Another one for women would be: don't spend all your time on your phone when you're with your date / partner. Just a thought. :)
being too clingy/ desperate 0:54
poor communication skills 3:32
coming on too strong 6:10
not being direct/ not putting in any effort 9:01
dishonesty 11:54
Okay, now that we know what women do wrong, what do guys do wrong!
Scrolled down for ages to find this. Nice one bro
@@econdude3811 That’s really funny!
I was clingy with someone once and I did not realize it until it was over and reflected on the events of our situation. I’ll never make that mistake again.
Right. With so many NEW mistakes to make, we can discard the old ones! 🙂
@@azmike3572 mistakes will be made but won’t outshine the great effort we put forth when it comes to being our best.
As someone who has lived almost 30 years without going on a date or getting involved with women beyond platonic friendship, having hobbies is the best, they give you something to look forward to and make you happy
Thats bcus yur asexual or gay
@@leccion5282 😂😂😂😂😂
@@leccion5282 or untreated severe social anxiety.
I feel Courtney is giving great advice here. I do not consider myself an "Alpha Male'", "Pick-Up Artist", a "1%." or a "SIMP." Obviously, there has been a paradigm shift in the dating world, with dating applications and social media, I don't think anyone will disagree with that, but these tips/advice have always been the 101 guide too dating. Attractive women or any women for that matter, may have several options at any given time, thats okay gents, focus on becoming a better version of you and you'll be suprised at what you can accomplish and what you will attract. I tell my friends to approach dating, with a carefree comical approach because who doesn't like to laugh and theres no reason to be so serious in the beginning stages or when you're trying to approach or court a women, let your intuition be your guide as how to proceed. If she hasn't answered you're message in a timely fashion, chances are she's just not interested and thats okay. It has been in my experience, that women do in fact prefer a man, who isn't so serious and concerned with rejection. The most important thing is, do not lose yourself, women can see right through that. Also, no inappropriate pictures. I just hope one day I'll get the Heart from Courtney lol. Good luck and may your dates be winning.
And that day has arrived lol.
By begging for a heart, you are showing SIMP like approval seeking behavior. Don't be a simp bro! Live by what you just stated!
@@pf2369 she was going to heart it regardless. No need to be gel….bro.
@@pf2369 the whole comment was amazing until that 😂😂
I haven't dated since 2010 but I really enjoy content like this. No idea why -- I have no interest in a relationship for myself, however, you seem very sweet and genuine. I hope you go on to do great things and continue with this subject matter. You're helping men everywhere ✌️
Best quote,I ever heard was be yourself everyone else is taken, very good points Courtney
The last girl I dated for 2 months always talked about her ex husband on a regular basis... what a turn off
I have 4 kids with my x so we keep in touch, she yaps forever on the the phone and said how she berated him and compared some of his ways to mine. I thought how humiliating and insulting for him and how insensitive of her.
@@planet_69 are you an emotional tampon now? Might wanna charge extra for that..
I hate it when women do that ish… that IS a big turn off/put off I agree with you. It’s a deal breaker for me if she keeps bringing an ex back. I dealt with that once too. Women stuck in the past on an ex best to just leave be and walk away.
Ladies ( and gentlemen), if you want us to plan dates then at least be willing to share what you like/don't like instead of giving the vague "surprise me" or "whatever you want" and be disappointed. It's just an example but imagine you tell us to plan something when we have very little idea yet of your tastes and decide to plan lunch on a balloon ride...and when we get there you tell us you're afraid of heights after we kept asking for info but just kept getting "I don't care, use your imagination." We would like to plan dates but we also need something to start with. Not all of us are great at planning things without some initial info.
Invited a girl to first date at ice cream. She doesn't eat sweets. 😂 Now when I plan dates I don't make it a surprise...I ask her if she always wanted to do something but never got to and also offer a few choices where she would like to go. The point is to have fun together, not read her mind.
You’re thinking way too hard bud. Obviously you’ll get good ideas of what she loves and what not by talking to her when you meet her. That’s when you take advantage and ask her questions. Like what her favorite music is, what type of food she likes, does she love getting on rides, is she an outdoor girl, etc etc
One hack here is to plan something you enjoy. It may turn out that she will enjoy your enthusiasm for your plan. Worst case you learn something she doesn’t like, which she can’t fault you for.
Maybe start smaller.
My wife and I met online in 2004 and talked for a few weeks before meeting in person.
We met at a fun park with mini-golf, go-karts and skee-ball.
Been married 15 years this year.
Pick something where you are doing something. A movie is a bad choice because there is no interaction, it's passive.
If you have fun during the activities, you can then go for a meal and talk.
You get to know a lot about a person by seeing how they handle winning or losing at mini-golf, or skee-ball.
Told our kids (we each had kids from prior marriages before this) to take any potential spouse on a float trip and share a canoe. If you cannot work together to float a mild river, chances are you cannot work together to navigate challenges during a marriage.
If a float trip isn't your thing or you are afraid of water, buy some IKEA furniture and assemble it working together. Basically the same test. If you have fun, proceed. If you want to kill one another, think twice before going any further.
But the first date should be an activity that engages both of you.
Or, and I'll admit, I've never tried this with a first date. Have a progressive date. You each pick 2 or 3 places to go and DO something. That way you learn about one another. Tell her within X distance of some central spot, pick two places you want to go and she will do the same. You list the first spot as she may not want to get in a car with you without knowing more. After that, if she wants to continue, she suggests her activity and you go there. Back and forth. Like you pick the amusement place and rent bikes in the park and ride around. She might pick a museum or gallery. Whatever.
That way, you BOTH plan AND you get her to show some cards. At anytime, you each have a choice to continue or end it.
I kinda agree. My mom told me a long time ago, if one person is chasing one person isn't interested. She's in her 60s and very traditional but still holds true for me at least to this day.
I don’t really chase girls or message them a lot. I had a crush with my coworker. She also knew this from me. That chance to get in a relationship with her never came. So I moved on happily
Imagine living a life where the guy if he wasn’t good looking was being texted first and pursued. What a wonderful world that’d be
I don’t chase women.... I chase greatness 😂✌️🇺🇸🦅
Great videos!
About listening, most of us have a blind spot about listening. We always think we listen twice if no thrice more than we actually do. And talk twice less than we actually do.
So it's important to keep that in mind and double down on the listening compared to what we perceive.
Even when being mindfull this default setting comes up more than we think.
Just my 2 cents.
I am married and do have a daughter that are 20 years old now.
Yet i am really enjoying your videos and your from a woman perspective.
Helps me to understand the women in my life a little bit better.
I can not wrap my mind around sending unrequested "pics" nobody asked for. Honestly I don't even like when they're given willingly, never have never would. There's something scummy and skeevy about it to me and I feel like if you're at that point with eachother then you see the real thing in person. Not to mention pics can be used against you in some nightmare scenario. Just don't do it.
Just pure speculation, but I think some men are so addicted to pornography that they think this is acceptable behavior.
I had a girl send me naked pictures and it disgusted me.. She became very unattractive to me and I lost interest. Why would any sane person send Naked pictures to others. If you need to do that to someone he/she is not relationship material period!.
@@RAimotion there is something about not saving that for private and in person that seems to drop them into a lower value category for some of us for sure.
@@RAimotion there is something about not saving that for private and in person that seems to drop them into a lower value category for some of us for sure.
Seems a little nuts doesn't it? I've been married now for more than 29 years and probably wouldn't send a pic to my own wife even if she asked me to. A friend of mine who was my former manager and in a previous life had been a federal investigator once advised me to be careful and have an awareness about documenting anything private in an email/text/message that could potentially be used against you. Now, he was talking specifically about work and things that should be kept confidential but that is good advice for outside of the workplace ... and I can't think of much that is more private and confidential than images of your privates.
Most men don't tell girl's everything because women talk to much and sometimes they can use your own things against you. Something that i hate is when i tell a girlfriend something they tell they friends i really hate that
So don't reveal information you are not willing to let others know? sounds pretty easy to me.
Tell them nothing
@@johnpatrick3096 Don’t reveal information to the ONE person you’re supposed to be able to trust implicitly? Man... you must be real comfortable with toxic relationships.
@@jb5625 yea it sux.. if ur gf does this to u even after u told her dnt tell anyone.. she is red flag.. if u cant get trust ur gf/wife then what the hell..
@@jb5625 Dont ever trust anyone implicitly, even your partner/spouse. Why would you want to make yourself vulnerable?
I’m really tired of being a punching bag and guinea pig for each new girl I want to date. It’s like coming to the ring for a fight. It’s can drive a passion in the beginning but not intimacy and honesty for the long run relationship! Every time I should expect for the new test so I can’t relax and let myself be honest and my true self cause I KNOW RIGHT NOW SHE’s PROVOKING ME (which I take as manipulation) Like it’s said where there’s a competition there’s no place for love. I end up giving up honesty and being open hearted. My core belief now is that I can’t build trust even if I like the girl very much! And why need relationship if there’s no trust between partners?! ❤️From Ukraine to you, Courtney!
From what you've written I understand that you have not yet internalized enough of your own locus of control.
My suggestion: work on doing more "internalizing" so you(your emotions) won't be so easily triggered.
I think it was pretty common practice(in olden times) for little girls (who hadn't yet evolved the communication skills) to literally "sock" or punch the boys they actually liked in the arms, just like their male friends.
Bruh women drive me insane 😂✌️
What shall you do if a girl takes 5 or more days to reply to a simple conversation, even though both matched on tinder. She might be really busy as a law University student shall you take 5 days as well to start another conversation or reply. Shall you ask her to join you for dinner after couple series of these long feedback online conversation? is the girl taking too long to respond on purpose so that months would pass, maybe she wants at a later stage? or shall you stop trying to make a conversation with her and talk alternating on week yes and one week no? : )
@@owenaquilina5001 i'd give her a chance (If only she really worth it) after some time. If there will be no vibe again then simply forget it without taking her to your head any longer.
@@raularmas317 by "internalizing'' you meant ''to learn, to absorb'?
Courtney, I'm sure there's probably a video like this in some form or fashion already, but could you consider this for a video idea: "10 things men in their first relationship should know about". Something like that would be quite helpful since some of us didn't have uncles, older brothers, fathers, father figures, etc to tell us all this stuff, and since it's our first relationship, we don't know wtf we're doing. Thanks!
And a similar video for women pleaseee!! ❤️
Please follow cory wayne then and read his book. I also highly suggest " the 5 love languages" by Gary Chapman!!
I have watched several of your videios and I love the way you put the inforation in a not a put down but ina simple way that some of us men can grab hold of it and use it rightly. Thank you so much.
Great to see the two toned tops back, I liked them from your older videos. :)
I appreciate these tips Courtney and most them i have already begin to apply in my dealings with women because i had no choice especially that clingy stuff. I think a 5 things women shouldn't do with a guy that has good intentions is definitely needed. I do think some women trigger these negative reactions in guys with their actions too now. So sometimes i don't think guys especially ones on your channel intend to act in a off putting way. Anyways God bless and guys keep focusing things that energize you. You'll be so better off.
My man 👍
@@black__monk400 Much respect man 😁🙌💯
Your the perfect date to listen to when I paint. Best of both worlds, beautiful voice, along with the colors of art.
Ikigai is a Japanese term that blends two words: “iki” meaning “to live,” and “gai” meaning “reason,” which translates to “a reason to live.” It's a concept that encourages people to discover what truly matters to them and to live a life filled with purpose and joy. Courtney mentions that guys should stop focusing solely on chasing women. Chase your own life instead, because you only get ONE, and if you waste IT that's your fault.
you are very truthful and informative...love your videos
Really love all of your content. Down to earth. The advice most people should hear. A video suggestion would be on actual types of date ideas? Personally, there is a new dating guideline I try to follow. Never go out on a date that you wouldn't enjoy doing yourself.
I use to be really clingy. Most of it was out of boredom. Now I spend most of my free time making RUclips videos, mountain biking or doing CrossFit competitions. It's also a lot easier to talk to women when they're not the main focus.
I have to agree with the section on being direct and taking the lead (Once you already have their attraction and interest) Just like in dancing, woman want you to take the lead- if you won't, they will walk. Every time. This has happened to me more than I care to say.
And its a hard lesson to swallow. Only now, in my 40's, do I understand where I was going wrong with woman. Sad but true. If you like the girl and she likes you, take action. Trust me, they want you to be a man of action and take the lead.
I fully agree with the content, love it! Just wanted to comment on the guy talking all about himself. I've talked with many different women who never ask ME any questions. I love learning about them, but they end up barely knowing me.
"Being a good communicator" can applied to women as well. There's one time I went to a date with a girl who, I think, not good at communication and talking about her whole life at our first date. At that point I understood the feeling of a woman who have to succumb to a 'talk-a-lot' guy on the date, completely....
Courtney I am really appreciate everything you do. God bless you and your loved ones.
I’ve never been on one date with a man that was a good listener. Never! Made it easy. I just had to sit there and look enthralled
I've been watching your videos for three months and didn't realize that I have not subscribed. Whoops. lol Love the way you go into detail and make it simple.
guys, this generation isn't for dating. Make money and set your life up so you won't struggle in the future. I promise you, if you're financially secure at 35 because you took the initiative, it will make you way happier than any women. You'll have so much money to invest as well, because you won't have some girl or kid holding you back. Dating should be so easy, like you don't understand. It shouldn't be a hit or miss with women, you will know when she likes you. If you have to make a valiant effort to please her, it's not worth it.
Agree. Girl like to manipulating guy for fun
I’m a mgtow priest and I approve this message.
Ps
How long will it take for humanity to die off the earth if more rational people listened to this advice and followed it??
@@PK-gs3xo True. Women don't empathize with men. They don't care, that's why they do it. Dating isn't worth for right now, in this damn generation. I wouldn't have said this if I were born in the 80s or 90s. It wasn't as bad back then.
@@joemoshowasdfjoweifojaoifdwto they do empathize they just also are very emotionally unstable because they are hormonal. Not their fault it’s how they are wired. But women should never be placed on a pedestal. They’re human just like us.
Let's rephrase this comment: Invest in yourself for inner peace. Money doesn't cure insecurity, it makes it worse.
Great tips here..
Although these days most of my potentials I connect with first online so we tend to talk a lot about who we are,our backgrounds,interests,and what we're looking for long before meeting up..
Also I tend to be up front and encourage that as opposed to small talk and comparing notes of expectations.
I emphasize that I am openminded mostly and seek that..
A lot of the time we jump to a phone conversation which really brings about putting everyone at ease..
The very process I have generally described either builds up to a meetup or they simply weed themselves out..
Great tips here,sounds like my filters..
Yeah I only pursue as much as Its being reciprocated.
All good points. I’ll definitely keep those points in mind going forward.
thank you this was good advice I hope I can remember it all . seem like a very nice person .
Thank you for all your great content. My suggestion for the woman version would be what you touched on for the men version, over expectation. If men always plan, ask, and do we don't really get to know how you would plan, ask, and do. Men like to be asked out for a afternoon to see how you spend your time and what you would do to have a good day. Thank you again for bringing joy to the world. 🧡😃🙏
Courtney I love your insight., fantastic videos... thankyou
my wife is definitely the worst communicator. she speaks something and does opposite and expects me to understand something totally different, then she mixes in some of hypocrisy as well. it's painfull.
on todays episode of "Courtney Ryan told you not to". I think you should make a mini-series about this hahaha. Great content as always :)
Watching these videos. It really helps that it's being told by the prettiest woman in the world
Hey Courtney! 👋 Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. 🦃 I agree with most of the things you mentioned, especially sending explicit pictures etc. Have a good weekend!
Happy Thanksgiving 👸
Thankyou so much for enhancing out the gentleman in me ❤
You have played your role as well in my life, true friend
Clingy, needy and desperate is only viewed by women if your unattractive. When she finds you unattractive even 1 text is too much and will make her think your weird, clingy and desperate.
Good point. The guys who I was already not attracted to turned me off when they sent me even a few texts. That usually doesn’t happen when you like someone… you want them to show interest. I think her point is that if they seem like their life revolves around you and they’re not doing anything with their life, that’s an issue.
Correct. I'm a woman and I agree. The attraction is key.
Hi Courtney! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving 🦃 with your family. Sending love from Miami, Florida
Thank you Ms. Ryan.
I guess I'm one of those desperate ones because, sometimes, I felt... unloved and lonely. And yeah, I'm aware that I can't keep focusing on that one person, but the thing is: I don't have any real friends and, occasionally, I get bored real easily. I rather have someone I can spend the rest of my life with than be surrounded by people who made me feel like crap.
You’ll be alright bro dw , but women won’t make you happy from personal experience
@@swavyhighlights2770 yeah, you're right.
Hey, I’m practically the girl version of you. I suffer from loneliness and boredom far to easily. But people are never going to give us that happiness, happiness comes from within. I’m working hard on myself to be less desperate, clingy, and comfortable with myself. Warning, it will get even lonelier. But it’s worth it. I wish you good luck!
@@1MikuFan thanks, I will. Same goes for you.
@@1MikuFan yes!! Build your social circle! Friends, family, partner. All have their own value. No one wants a partner that is codependent soley on you.
When it comes to dating apps, I always start by asking what their intentions are/what they look for. I get mixed responses, but usually women respect the fact you came forward and asked before progressing farther and waste each other’s time
Nice videos with good common sense advice but I've found that her voice is soothing and I drift off to sleep easily.......who knew this was thing!?
Realy interesting video 👍👍👍
❤❤❤
Courtney, love your content, I wanted to add a male perspective to one of the turn-offs. Women often use “poor communication” to mean “prioritizes information over listening and empathy.” Men naturally tend to focus on the words being said, and often forget the rhythm of an engaging conversation. Women are naturally better at communicating in a way that includes the other person and makes them feel positive. So, when telling guys to “communicate better” you should add that you need to focus on the other person more instead of the content of your words, and use active listening 👍
That is a really good point!
Courtney you should do a video about 5-10 things for guys in their first dating/relationship to expect or be aware of, I think a lot of us newer guys or late bloomers could use a crash course…
I really don’t care.....I no longer make the first move.....try it....the solitude is priceless.
One thing women do is bring there phone on the date, then start looking at it and paying attention to it and not you. I wonder, is she seeing if Chad got back to her text? Very rude. Shut the Damm phone off on an important date.
Personally if I was in that situation, depending on where we are exactly, I'd just walk off without saying anything (Irish goodbye I think it's called), and if she notices and asks "where are you going?" I'd reply with something with "away from you". If I show respect and she doesn't, why bother continuing when it's just become a waste of time?
Yeah absolutely well curated points. Thank you Courtney ❤️
Excellent quality information 👌
"ask her out, if she say no, she say no"
You are totally right. The problem is, they always say yes and at the last moment "oh sorry i have aquaponey" or even never respond when you ask her out
Nice tips !
I ACTAULLY HAVE THE OPPOSITE EFFECT WHERE I LET THEM TALK SO MUCH THAT WHEN ASKED A QUESSTION IAM CAUGHT OFF GUARD
“You will never be right for the wrong person”
Happy Thanksgiving!
I think it’s okay to ask firsts what they are looking for, because if you hear they are looking for casual then being more flirty can help
Good stuff, don't blame women on how they treat you, people treat you how you let them. Become a champion and everything else takes care of itself.
Courtney you are intellectually above your years lady. I mean you're helping dudes and women who are twice or 3 times your age. Listened to a few of your videos, you're on point. Fellas, she 100% knows what she's talking about. Kudos yo. You're probably one of the few really good women left.
Your awesome Courtney! A modern sensei.
If a girl cancels the first date with enough notice, but says she wants to reschedule, should I initiate a reschedule, or should I wait for her to initiate? I don’t want to chase her, but I also don’t want to make her feel like I’m not interested either.
Thanks tor the tips. 31 and never been in a relationship. Have a job, working on getting my GED,and working out., have great hygiene
Happy Thanksgiving Courtney.
basically you are protected..
no broken heart, no trauma, no betrayal etc.
You should have a pretty beautiful view of humanity or opposite sex i assume :D
I'm in the way of understanding that I used to talk a lot as a sort of automatic defense mechanism.
It takes the "work" of owning more of your own locus of control and gaining the needed perspective to see that you are actually doing this to begin reversing this near-automatic process and begin to pause long enough to yield the "floor" so that others can have an opportunity to speak.
It's hard-- at first. It'll take practice to get good at, but it can be done.
I struggle with #4 to this day, very crucial and can be tricky if you're inexperienced.
Great video. Stay focused stay mysterious set boundaries immediately
😭😢 Courtney you're one of the coolest woman in the world!
Great vídeo!! And yes, You not be fake and your girl also not be a fake,like You said be real! Good ir Bad but real!
A woman once mentioned that one mistake that straight guys do with women when they take them out, is that they don't ask questions. I guess I'll have to remember to do that if I ever get to take a woman out.
Women love talking about themselves. It helps if you're happy to listen!
Never helped me tbh, and I make sure it flows naturally and not sound like a job interview
As an older male, there are some things that males these days should be fully aware of...1. Women don't need you and are taught this on a daily basis,...So, there is an 80% chance that if you ask her out on a date, she will say no...there is a 90% chance that even if she says yes, that she will already have several backups in case you flop ... and there is almost a 100% chance that even if things go well and you get into a relationship, she will have someone somewhere as a replacement.....it is important to understand that you, as a male, are a usable, disposable and replaceable commodity... remember there are huge differences between pursuing, obtaining and keeping a female ...and all of these require time, money and an enormous effort ....you really have to ask yourself, is it really worth it ?? .... I have been married for over 30 years ...and I know from experience.....that input does not always lead to reward ...and the major mistake a male will make is believe that it will...
Thank you good sir for your advice and for *keeping it real* for the young ones. I wish I'd known this in my 20s.
As a woman in my 20s, I find this ironic. '' It is important to understand that you, as a male, are a usable, disposable and replaceable commodity.'' Because surely, men aren't known to be players who get all sweet and lovely, untill a girl sleeps with them, and then suddenly detach while moving onto the next catch? You haven't been called 'complicated' or 'a prude' because you wanted to create a connection first, and it shows.
But tables turn once you get married and have children. Women must depend on the man to help and she won't have backup men.
@@simple4kill Exactly. Both sexes can treat people as replaceable. It’s all about the person. Not all women are going to treat men as just someone they can get resources out of, and not all men are going to treat women as just a usable orifice for their own pleasure. I’m tired of all these generalizations.
@@simple4kill The men that are "the players" are probably only 20% of men. Most men under the age of 30 are virgins. Women have a lot more options when it comes to dating which makes a lot of men replaceable. Men don't have the luxury of getting bombarded with messages from women. There is nothing ironic about what he said and you should maybe try looking at things from a different perspective.
Yeah I think for most part I do all these things. Mainly because I always forget, and mainly because my memory is not always that great and social skills not good because of me having autism. But still a great video, and agree with her a lot. And we can always try harder to improve little by little.
I agree with all of your points here. I believe that I may come on a little bit strong at times....just a little bit.
As for dates, I always plan them. The only time I will not is when she wants to do something, and ask me if I want to join her.
A lot of us got a problem with instant gratification I know I do but I’m a lot better with it since I noticed it 👌🏿💯
❤️👏🏼
Thank you so much for your insight, Courtney! Subscribing to your RUclips channel was a very wise decision.
Your audio always sounds so good. Do you use any soundproofing?
If you are a man, you send her a message, she doesn’t respond and you message her again, you need to review your values. Never do that, no matter what.
If you cannot say what you think, you are not an introvert or shy. You are afraid. And it is ok to be afraid. What is not ok is to let fear control you. That is being a coward. Don’t be one.
Nudes? I will send you movies suggestions, music suggestions or books suggestions!
Omg--movie, music, and book suggestions would be awesome! That's a great idea. I wish more guys would do that.
Hello Courtney, love your channel. Some things I wish western women would understand (disclaimer: I just want to say that I love women, men should never abuse women, and men and women are perfect compliments to each other when there is a mutual “RESPECT”) : #1- there are good men out there that still want a real relationship but have been painted with a broad broad brush with all the bad experiences from the Chads and Tyrones that women typically fall for in the beginning of their dating experience and then there is incurred baggage most of us “good guys” would rather not deal with, so we choose to continue to date younger women or stay casual for life. #2- men are still expected to be traditional and women are not. #3- men do not want to hear that you want kids on a first date. #4- it’s absolutely ok to be single mom, but be patient, that’s a big potential commitment out the gate. #5- Please listen to us. Don’t always be on the offensive. There are still good men out there. We are already unfairly presumed to be a “player” or playing games due to your poor choices in men in the past. #6- please don’t label us misogynistic if we have a different opinion than yours. That’s akin to throwing the race card to win an argument because the argument wasn’t really substantial. #7- we don’t like to compete with or date women with male characteristics. We like femininity. We can get bro time with our friends. #8- marriage is a terrifying topic to any man because we have everything to lose. Statistics don’t lie. Favorability towards women is drastically skewed. When women get bored, get an itch, or feel they can do better, they can jump ship at any time and come out much better than they came into marriage with. #9- men can identify red flags as well. That is why ghosting occurs. #10- you will not find a good man on Tinder. We are working on our purpose. Try the gym, book store, training seminar, museums, etc. #10- if you haven’t read Steve Harvey’s book, read it. He’s right on most things, some are outdated. Peace n’ Love.
#1,2,5 and 6 are huge and commonly observed even outside of dating.
Only playboy have enough success and dating app, to stay on them. Every decent man will get crushed. He will be desperate as fuck, or leave.
I know this is an older video but if you could possibly answer this Question: what should I do if me and this girl are just starting to talk and who should be the one texting first? Me or the girl ? And how do I know if she is interested?
Great advice ty
While I am very much a fan of "traditional" dating, I find it hard to believe that I'm the only guy who gets asked to dance or to go out on a date. When I go to a dance, it happens a fair amount if I stand for longer than a minute (and sometimes when I sit down), so I actually expect it. But being asked out on a date, not quite so much.
It is irritating to be told about being too needy from people who might behave the same way if they didn't have as many options as they do (as you yourself pointed out in your video about why dating sucks).
Good advice but if we're being totally honest, the opposite could also be true for points 1-4 and I'm not speculating about that. Not giving enough attention, over communicating, not coming on strong enough, and being too direct/trying to hard are also things that can be perceived as "wrong."
Thanks for being fair.
About the things that women do wrong with men from my humble experience is bad communication skills,the most known "it's all good" when they mean the contrary 🙄 and also comparing you with their ex (I don't know if this is a matter of gender or happened to you guys but some of my ex girlfriends used to compare me ,my behavior or some things with their ex which is annoying
No dislike after 3 days? waow... BTW quality content Courtney. Keep it up.!
I'm a guy and I once had some women come on too strong towards me, and it really was uncomfortable. Also, keep in mind that I was 15 and these women who did that looked to be in their mid-20s. It doesn't help that there are people who believe that there's no right or wrong way to approach a guy. We're just supposed to be happy with any kind of attention we get.
It's kinda irrelevant but something I've found is that men are shamed if they reject any kinda women for any reason, unlike women are seemingly empowered to do the same thing to men. I remember a girl flipped me off in 5th grade because I didnt want to date her lol & got the shame from her friends.
@@banginbadger75 Yeap. They get REALLY mad when you don't just want to HOP right in bed with them... Sorry, I have a long vetting process to weed out the many with Daddy issues, trauma issues, etc...
Well there's the issue.. you were 15. that shzzt is weird bro. of course you would feel that way, depending on how knowledgeable you are about courting
Haha this happening now to me and i’m much older then 15.
@@banginbadger75 it's just female nature
I love your videos I just started watching them so it's pretty random and I don't know if you read anything so I'll post this on a few videos and maybe it will catch or anybody else can give me advice I'm in Naples Florida and I'm in my early 50s and I'm on a couple dating sites and everybody wants to go to dinner on a first date and down here it's $200 it's ridiculous. And if you want to meet them for drinks it starts out with $15 drinks and then it rolls into dinner and they say do you want to grab something to eat so then I get shuckled in again. How do you meet somebody without spending all that money on a first meeting I don't even call it a first date
Great Video! Thx...
New here, hi, Courtney! Men need to understand that no response IS a response.
Straight off the bat I told a girl that I am not in a good situation. Financially and in other aspects,I am in a bad spot in my life. I told her that for now I can't offer too much besides myself. So I told her straight away to not waste mine and hers time if she doesn't like what she is seeing. I think she liked that, because I was pushing her away subconsciously. And people want what they can't have and it's bad for them. She decided to stick around and put an effort with me, but to be honest my hopes are not high. I am too much of a realist to let myself get fooled. I don't want to hurt her as well.
There is a girl at work that I like (I wouldn’t usually get involved with girls from work) and I feel that she is interested in me but not all of the time. She seems to be hot and cold, she will always talk to me when we’re together and asks me questions, she always reply to my messages and not just with one word answers, we sit in the same group at lunch, she looks at me quite a bit. I think these are all good signs but every so often she acts as a little bit colder. Does she want me to chase her and should I ask her out?
I hope you had an awesome Thanksgiving Courtney keep up the great content 🦃🌹❤
🥰🙏🥰 such nice words to use 😇