stop doing 50/50 relationships

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024

Комментарии • 177

  • @aliyevaalbina
    @aliyevaalbina  3 месяца назад +7

    follow my main channel here
    ruclips.net/channel/UCnnxJMmo7WGU8i1WMTnwUXw

  • @Emma-ge9db
    @Emma-ge9db 3 месяца назад +368

    Hi Albina, I was a student when I got into a relationship with my husband. He is older and has had a good career then. He paid when we were going out and paid for expensive holidays, even my sports. After graduating, I went to one place and started my first well-paid job, we got married. And then he wanted to transform the relationships more and more into 50 50 which made me feel betrayed. Because I never wanted to have 50 50 and it seemed that he could provide and our future doesn't depend on my incomes. Now our life standard depends on my carrier, because he doesnt like to work ambitiously and wants just a simple life (simple car, simple or no holidays, no restaurants, etc.). It's on me that our children can go to a private school and have the extra lessons. I want my children to have good network and opportunities in the future. He doesn't care about that. Conclusion: You even have to talk about finance even though it seems that he is fine with providing. Plus: you really have to proof your future partner before marriage. Plus, things can change.

    • @stunningbeaute1037
      @stunningbeaute1037 3 месяца назад +74

      He switched up on you really bad

    • @GoldenKay19
      @GoldenKay19 2 месяца назад +17

      Very interesting comment thank you so much for sharing never thought that way things could change he get very comfortable wish you the best 💖

    • @AnnexAchieng
      @AnnexAchieng 2 месяца назад +18

      This ideas of the ‘bare minimum’ is real have courage to say ‘that is not my task’ without fear your kids will thank you. I am now doing this SO LIBERATING

    • @mv2271
      @mv2271 2 месяца назад

      Same

    • @zoekravitz4474
      @zoekravitz4474 Месяц назад +9

      Really funny 50/50is really fair to me because you get paid for your job didn't that called equality why should him paid for all this if your answer is that is his normal job then why you have to work
      That's called selfish yes you are 😂

  • @Cinephile-gy6fb
    @Cinephile-gy6fb 3 месяца назад +190

    It’s very true that mothers always have to look after the children in addition to themselves

    • @a.b.creator
      @a.b.creator Месяц назад +9

      And good fathers do as well. Depending on their work status, which partner works more, etc. But there are fathers out there who do most of the work too.

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад +1

      ​@@a.b.creatorI think you might be able to count them with your hand

  • @star_light.g
    @star_light.g 3 месяца назад +154

    she's so real with that prenup.

  • @jessicataylor6903
    @jessicataylor6903 Месяц назад +23

    You are such an antidote to the social media driven standard setting. Thank you for talking about your financial situation so frankly, and being realistic about the relationship of money to both the privileged and „normal” situation. This is how we learn as a community, instead of segregating the different societal groups.

  • @uzmamahmood7954
    @uzmamahmood7954 3 месяца назад +129

    Totally agree. I think you should even ask these kinds of questions before you fall in love. You need to be practical when looking fir a life partner that you will bringing up kids with. If you fall in love first and you disagree with important aspects of how you want to live your life for example how you are going to raise kids, finances where you want to live. It will be very hard later on and difficult to have a happy married life.

    • @thepragmatist
      @thepragmatist 3 месяца назад

      Agreed.

    • @goldfish3858
      @goldfish3858 Месяц назад +1

      Thankfully I realized this sooner than later, I’m much happier since I left him

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад

      Before you get married,not fall inlove

  • @Pieza_De_Queso
    @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад +39

    Yeah. Marriage is business arrangement. Pelple gotta acept that

  • @yegra
    @yegra Месяц назад +18

    25:00 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
    "If the current dynamic is not working for you, what makes you think it will change"

  • @catcat63527
    @catcat63527 Месяц назад +19

    Prenup is illegal in my country. I wish I could get that. It sounds something so safe, as a woman, to have clear boundaries on things.

    • @yegra
      @yegra Месяц назад +1

      Hello. Which country is that? If you don't mind me asking...

    • @malinasworld
      @malinasworld 27 дней назад +1

      @@yegraMight be India judging by her pfp, prenups are not considered valid there.

    • @yegra
      @yegra 27 дней назад

      @@malinasworld omg. Thanks so much for replying. I appreciate it!

  • @ririririiririri5934
    @ririririiririri5934 3 месяца назад +68

    I feel like I have an older sister who is giving me life advices
    Thank you so much, subscribed!

  • @nikaabgarian4532
    @nikaabgarian4532 3 месяца назад +20

    It’s so important to know what you want in a relationship. If you don’t know what you want it will be decided for you. In my case I was too polite to say anything and believed that the relationship dynamic would change on its own.

  • @LidiaBejerea
    @LidiaBejerea 10 месяцев назад +87

    What an elaborate explanation, Albina back at it with her wisdom!
    Parenting is a full time role. My mother was a stay at home wife her whole life, even when it was harder to make ends meet.
    Compromising on time and effort spent with the kids, a clean home and warm cooked food is not worth it. They’re things I’m taking into my relationship now.
    To some, this may be have been a privilege before. But make it a standard for your children now!!

    • @aliyevaalbina
      @aliyevaalbina  10 месяцев назад +4

      Thank you for watching and sharing your perspective 🫶🏻
      You last sentence also sounds like it could be an iconic quote, I love it

  • @AGameCharacter
    @AGameCharacter Месяц назад +37

    The man makes the house, the woman makes the home. If you can’t pay for dating, you can’t afford the family. A home is expensive, but kids are way more expensive. If you can’t make money while you sleep, you cannot afford to oarent your kids. Why do you date if you don’t want to have a family?!

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад

      Both men and the women make the home.

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад +1

      The man should also make the home with the woman,making a house is a one time thing,making the home is constant,that's the imbalance

    • @carimabin7834
      @carimabin7834 29 дней назад

      Facts I agree with you.❤

  • @onlinegirl5579
    @onlinegirl5579 Месяц назад +12

    I'm Eastern Europian and it's so relieving to get directness and honesty from your video. It is very important things and I wish more people would talk about it. Also I like the idea of preup but I have no idea what people write there and how to make a good one so that every single would not get twisted in all directions by the lawyer in case of divorce. Maybe you can make a video about it

  • @sierra4372
    @sierra4372 10 месяцев назад +108

    you need to start your own podcast fr!! good content 😌

    • @laragungormus926
      @laragungormus926 10 месяцев назад +8

      I really agree, she seems so nice and full of wisdom

    • @aliyevaalbina
      @aliyevaalbina  10 месяцев назад +20

      This is so kind of you!🫶🏻 I am actually really considering it🥰

    • @lera9808
      @lera9808 10 месяцев назад +1

      Все супер
      Только не поняла одного момента , когда вы были друзья то он платил 90% а когда первое свидание то было не понятно кому платить. Если ты и в дружбе была феминисткой и в отношениях так же

    • @ojaseeduble9310
      @ojaseeduble9310 3 месяца назад +1

      I agree!!!

  • @NatureFreak1127
    @NatureFreak1127 Месяц назад +61

    Oh man, i went on a date with this guy and i only had a tea and later on a cheesecake. After we went to a cashier he was like: "Do you want to go first?" It was like a punch in a gut. But because i am a feminist, i caved in. I felt guit for wanting a guy to pay for me. But it was such a huge turnoff. God, had i known I was paying for myself i would have ordered actual food, because i left hungry. I cannot decide who was more pathetic - him or me.
    I am from central Europe, so i guess my expectations are shaped by this. Later on i asked him how are things dating-wise in Japan, where he's from and that in our country a guy pays. He said he doesn't know our customs, despite dating 2 girls from central Europe. 😂 I shouldn't have overlooked this, because even when we had picnic he brought so little lol. He told me he doesn't even buy fish here as they are expensive. He cannot be so poor finance-wise, because he just went to northern Europe for 5 weeks, although i am pretty sure it's gonna be low-cost. He also displayed manipulative behaviors and possible lying. Ugh.
    But this helped me realize that i want a guy to provide, despite being a feminist. Especially if we are going to have children together because i will sacrifice my body, health and career for it. I don't mean he should pay for everything, and expenses should probably be proportionally split, but he should have the spirit of a provider.

    • @marvin2678
      @marvin2678 Месяц назад +7

      in other words you dont want equlity olny when it benefits you.....

    • @NatureFreak1127
      @NatureFreak1127 Месяц назад +10

      @@marvin2678 No, i haven't said any of this. Read it again.

    • @Pieza_De_Queso
      @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад

      ​@@marvin2678 She can want whatever she wants in a relationship. Why are u upset? Do u wanna date her or what?
      If u want 50/50 or be provided for, go look for thos kind of women.

    • @Pieza_De_Queso
      @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад +1

      Ffs, why are some people so nosy? Like, do your own thing, man, nobody stopping you from choosing this or thay kinda girl. Whatever. Find someone who agrees on your ideas instead of forcing them on random strangers online

    • @NatureFreak1127
      @NatureFreak1127 Месяц назад

      @@Pieza_De_Queso This wasn't for me, was it?

  • @starwoodanime1532
    @starwoodanime1532 3 месяца назад +60

    I've never had a man support/ take care of me. I grew up being told to be independent and never rely on a man, but I wonder what its like to be supported by a man/ not have to be strong and independent 24/7.

    • @stunningbeaute1037
      @stunningbeaute1037 3 месяца назад +17

      It’s a very very nice feeling. It’s like being in a winter time, everyone around you is freezing and struggling…whereas you are in hot, warm and comfy place enjoying life.

    • @rebone6550
      @rebone6550 Месяц назад

      ​@@stunningbeaute1037 I can imagine the feeling. But like I am with @starwoodanime1532 in this one. Like I don't really know how to "switch off" the independence. Also how does one go about such conversations? Like "I expect you to provide financially"?... what if they say they want me to do all the house chores? I'm not comfortable with that tbh

    • @NormieNeko
      @NormieNeko Месяц назад +11

      I've always been cared for that way. I went straight from my father's care to my husband's care, so I have no idea what it's like to be single or independent. I feel ashamed sometimes because women tend to talk down about people like me, but I honestly have no interest in competition with men or aggressive women. I enjoy my comfort. I feel safe.
      The only people that have ever disrupted my peace of mind and outright screwed me over were my career-driven overbearing"conservative" mother-in-law and my ignorant jealous housewife mother. I trust the men in my family. I can't trust some of the women. I don't know what it's like to have unreliable abusive men around me. I feel grateful for that, especially because I know I can be a brat. I love having a male leader in my life.

    • @jjbuzz9230
      @jjbuzz9230 Месяц назад

      Being supported and cared for by a man does not have to be mutually exclusive with being independent. Only person we can rely on is ourselves, we should always be able to support ourselves and have the of freedom to do what we want because of the security we're able to provide for ourselves. When a man knows you're able to live a good life by yourself, he will actually treat you better because he then has to meet the standard that you have already demonstrated. Being cared for by a man is a wonderful feeling that I can't describe but it makes me feel more love for him daily, makes me want to do things for him naturally, it just builds up the relationship making it stronger and more loving daily. So I conclude, in a relationship, a man should first give selflessly and then woman will naturally return. Being in a 50/50 relationship maybe financially the result is the same, but it deprived of that loving bond that could have been built, probably the only Mutual selfless giving relationship in this life

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад +2

      What kind of question is that? Are you cosplaying?. You don't have the luxury to switch your independence off whenever you feel like

  • @aniesulistyorini6839
    @aniesulistyorini6839 Месяц назад +8

    Love loove loove how you think, so relatable and i appreciate that you brought it in social media, girls and women whatever their jobs/condition should really have a firm stand like this.
    Nowadays, society demand women to perform multitasking in the household and at work, even support the relationship financially, and be as strong as they can be, while men could get away from household responsibility and even come up with 50-50 argument😂

  • @thenoobentrepreneur4493
    @thenoobentrepreneur4493 3 месяца назад +14

    This is really financial fundamentals 👏🏽 some are exposed to information and don’t want it🤷🏾‍♀️, others are never even offered opportunity to get close to the information. Again amazing content 🙏🏾

  • @mabel9701
    @mabel9701 Месяц назад +8

    “The trust is set in stone” is such a cool position to be in. I’m getting one step ahead only to fall 3 steps back no matter what i do. Love that you always acknowledge your privilege. Enjoy it 🎉 there’s so many people that would love to trade places with you.

  • @tomie1427
    @tomie1427 3 месяца назад +103

    For me as an Arab girl the men should be the provider financially in a relationship. Even if the girl is richer than him. Its a part of our culture as well as in Islam it’s supposed to be this way. Also in Islam before marriage the men should also gift the girl Maher which is a money that should be given to the bride as a sign of respect and recognition. So what you’re saying is very familiar to my perspective on this topic 😍😆

    • @AimeeVignes
      @AimeeVignes 3 месяца назад +17

      As a secular Latina, I agree. Men don’t get most of us aren’t rich and will probably never have better work positions than them. Besides, bearing children is a huge energetic endeavour healthwise, and we’re sacrificing our 1) mental sanity, 2) blood pressure and sugar control and 3) the stand of our bones per birth. That should be enough reason why they should provide for all things home related. The woman can work to get herself stuff she wants (fashion, meeting up with friends, etc), but all things home maintenance should be the man’s duty.

    • @Kittyoboo
      @Kittyoboo Месяц назад +7

      ​@@AimeeVignesThat's right. That's why when a girl inherits in Islam, she can use the money on herself to buy anything she wants and spoil herself. If she decided to spend it on her siblings, friends or husband if he was poor and she was rich, it would be considered as a charity in Islam, not as a duty. If you want to work you can work. My mother was a teacher even though my father was an architecture. I also want to be a business woman when I grow up. But it's not nessecary. That's what I like about it. Women aren't pressured with work and if they want to work they can but they don't nessecarily need to.

  • @user-jg5xm8um8y
    @user-jg5xm8um8y 2 месяца назад +19

    Thought provoking. Right now, I can only afford a 50/50 relationship, or we have to spend time doing things that don’t cost much/any money. Otherwise it will make it way harder for me to progress financially.
    Alternatively I can wait…for years….until I can provide for a relationship, but that means going for years without a relationship. I can enjoy my time being single but I would still miss the intimacy. This is why I and a lot of men are jealous that women are always able to get into relationships. They have their own problems, like not being able to secure commitment, but a lot of guys can’t even think about commitment because they can’t even get into relationships

    • @jjbuzz9230
      @jjbuzz9230 Месяц назад

      I think maybe a 70/30 relationship is okay if the woman makes the same amount of money as you, but in the beginning you can maybe do a hundred for a while to show commitment and that you're working towards Financial growth for your Mutual future. and you don't have to go out all the time to expensive restaurants, there are many things to do other than spending money, going to restaurant few times a month is not going to make huge impact to your pocket

  • @d0lpine802
    @d0lpine802 3 месяца назад +21

    As a man this is educational to me.i almost committed to one sided relationship to a narcissist.

  • @yegra
    @yegra Месяц назад +3

    I appreciate you so much for making this. And for also emphasising the fact that you have to be privileged enough to raise a family with just a single income earner. A lot of people are so delusional and talk about 50/50 like it's so easy to survive on one income forever.
    You've earned a subscriber. This is my second video of yours and you're so so realistic.

  • @askal31
    @askal31 2 месяца назад +6

    Been married for a decade. From Catholic teaching, God created the woman to be loved. What is expected of her once she is married is to be her husband's helper while he cares and loves her with God's help throughout their lifetime. In terms of finances, what will naturally happen to you as a woman and wife is that you will feel the the need to create a home for your husband and your children. That is called a vocation, and you will find yourself giving all of yourself (especially your financial independence), out of love for your family. God bless you. ❤
    This is probably why David shows you he can take good care of you. It is because once you become his wife, your love (and self-sacrifice) can never be quantified in this lifetime.

  • @poelogan
    @poelogan Месяц назад +4

    this makes sense honestly with how society is evolving.

  • @thenoobentrepreneur4493
    @thenoobentrepreneur4493 3 месяца назад +24

    I have been married 26 yrs this year and ofc I’ll mention my profession again 🤭(banker) . I❤saying it but I found your channel today and cannot ty enough. Your perspective is 1000% spot on I have shared a life between both financial worlds so I’ve been “privy “ to alot of knowledge and your delivery is so concise and entertaining.❤ my new favorite. Stay Blessed

  • @Queenolgi1
    @Queenolgi1 3 месяца назад +10

    Totally! We have this clash of cultures! I knew how to handle it as a humble single women with work. But with my spouse I have no clue how to handle it and manage the sheer amout of work. The men are thinking it is easier for the women, because she s not used to raise kids anymore. And the man are taking the position of victims because they no longer have the ability to serve with finances on their own.

  • @marfractal
    @marfractal 3 месяца назад +10

    Wow, this video really touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. I’m incredibly grateful that you’re sharing this content, as it resonates so much with me. It addresses a topic that isn’t often talked about, and I truly believe there’s a lot of confusion surrounding it. Growing up in a non-traditional family with my single mother raising my sister and me, I always saw her as the provider. But lately, I’ve come to understand that as a woman, it’s crucial to work to hedge oneself- to protect oneself while the man provides for the family. Thank you for shedding light on this important issue.🙏🏽💜

  • @okok-uc8hi
    @okok-uc8hi 3 месяца назад +28

    You should be careful about talking about your parents sending you money or your trust online. You might get the wrong targets on your back

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 3 месяца назад +13

      That defeats the entire point of her channel and there are plenty of rich kids in the world she’s not the first.

    • @okok-uc8hi
      @okok-uc8hi 3 месяца назад

      @@spacebar9733 just like you and I both value safety but haven’t been the first to need such a construct

  • @kcherre2164
    @kcherre2164 3 месяца назад +5

    We talked about kids, maternity, living situation, money etc. on the first date…

  • @safiulfaiyaz7038
    @safiulfaiyaz7038 Месяц назад +3

    You look like a Pixar mom.
    This is not a jab but a compliment, keep it up.

  • @curatedbylu
    @curatedbylu 3 месяца назад +5

    really enjoyed this! so straight, honest and to the point- you’re a real one!

  • @thenoobentrepreneur4493
    @thenoobentrepreneur4493 3 месяца назад +7

    Let me contribute to the engagement 😂😂I have more.. the marriage advice was spot on. In my marriage we followed these steps at whatever level. Maintained a strategic path and focused on the why. The freedom and health remain in Forefront while asset building, DTI balancing all while navigating thru this life.. “ heavy is the crown” 🔥🔥this is a master class in finance.

  • @deepasinghal4729
    @deepasinghal4729 Месяц назад

    Truthful and valuable video. Finances are with him, while responsibility of herself and her kids is with her.

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 Месяц назад

      Shouldn't be like that, responsibilities of the kids should also be with him, fiances is the bare minimum and taking care of the wife as well

  • @wildnbuffalomommaharper4535
    @wildnbuffalomommaharper4535 Месяц назад +2

    Yes 🙌 communication is key! Top 3 reasons for divorce in America is money, children and s.e.x.. Being able to talk with your partner and understand each other is amazing!
    I’ve learned at an early age that money can come and go in life and sometimes it might not be 50/50. Communication!
    Investing is smart!!

  • @22OrangeGirl
    @22OrangeGirl Месяц назад +2

    The internet is made for this! Thanks for your valuable insights. You're very smart.

  • @user-ie7ou5oj8f
    @user-ie7ou5oj8f Месяц назад +1

    If shouldn’t be 50/50, it should be 100/100. Both people should jump at the opportunity to help the other partner

  • @Heather-jr9ls
    @Heather-jr9ls 2 месяца назад +4

    always the rawest and realest advice ❤ thank you albina

  • @chloekat7985
    @chloekat7985 Месяц назад +2

    Wow you’re talking about my dream relationship. I’m sure it’s how a lot of women want to be treated as well

  • @kaitlinroth7555
    @kaitlinroth7555 Месяц назад +1

    thank you for talking about your relationship dynamic. it shows me what is possible in the world! ❤

  • @marycallan1937
    @marycallan1937 5 месяцев назад +5

    Following you here from Tik Tok. Agreeing with you on feminism and being treated well from a loved one.

  • @S41GON
    @S41GON Месяц назад +8

    "Im totally able to provide for myself - but I dont wanna, Id rather let my bf pay for everything from his parents pockets" - modern feminist
    At this point feminism is just a luxury belief for women who can afford it.

  • @user-ie7ou5oj8f
    @user-ie7ou5oj8f Месяц назад +3

    Being a “feminist”, AKA wanting a full time job and not having to be a stay at home mom, and wanting your husband to pay for everything is 100% selfish. You want to be able to have a ton of free time and buy yourself luxurious items meanwhile people in other countries are struggling to buy food. Become an adult, you are selfish

  • @dalizaurraca8598
    @dalizaurraca8598 10 месяцев назад +9

    Thank you for sharing this with us! I’m in new relationship and I didn’t know how to bring this up or how to explain why I wanted this. Greetings! ♥️

    • @aliyevaalbina
      @aliyevaalbina  10 месяцев назад +5

      I am so happy that you found it helpful! Good luck if your relationship 🫶🏻

  • @fionakida
    @fionakida Месяц назад

    I found this relatable even as a person who doesn’t come from wealth - thank you for putting things so eloquently together, super insightful!:)

  • @Roxxy523
    @Roxxy523 3 месяца назад +3

    I really appreciate hearing the advice you’ve been given and you have a very open perspective. Thank you for sharing.

  • @purplelove3666
    @purplelove3666 Месяц назад

    I don't condone dating,i condone courtship , where you get to know each other based on values expectations and future plans for marriage, and always have a third party present,to show the seriousness of it all

  • @TooCoolToSpeakLess
    @TooCoolToSpeakLess 3 месяца назад +11

    Це просто благословіння чути і бачити настільки помірковані,чесну і просто милу блогерку,ще й з України🤗.Кожна тема-у саме сердце,дуже влучно кажете😅! Мала досвід знайомств і для мене дійсно дико,що люди готові продумувати майбутне,разом (одружуватися і народжувати),але зовсім не продумують де,як і коли (ще й народжують,щоб їх чоловіків не мобілізували). Крім того,це маячня,але...Люди чекають,що ти будеш платити за них (і я завжди готова купувати близьким те, що вони хочуть,але..коли це дорослі люди,які просто використовують тебе,like "black card.It's crazy!) То ж,тепер я спочатку думаю про себе і тільки,після-про інших людей і події,які дійсно важливі,завдяки цьому,я стала набагато щасливіша. Мати свою родину і гроші,це найкраще,що в мене було.І мені хочеться,щоб кожна людина мала пізнала справжнє щастя. Ви все правильно кажете! Не зупиняйтеся!! Ваша енергетика просто неймовірна😍!Дуже рада,що саме ваш канал мені порекомендував "Ютуб".Wish to see you later!(xoxo)

  • @journeylife7491
    @journeylife7491 3 месяца назад +5

    @25:48 - You can compromise for a potential future if the goal is measurable and achievable. So, it is not idiotic, but smart.

  • @BestJungkookistaaa
    @BestJungkookistaaa Месяц назад +1

    I absolutely agree with what you said here. Just met your channel by this vid, thank you for speaking with some sense after all the bad advice videos I saw from other channels this week lol ❤

  • @jaro551
    @jaro551 3 месяца назад +16

    Before watching this video, I’d like to share some thoughts based on my own experiences as a 21-year-old student from Belgium. Growing up in a fairly average family, I belief in equal contribution in relationships, considering my dad left a high-paying job for a low-paying one to escape a toxic work environment and pursue his passion for teaching. Which is quite a unique experience I think, but shows what a strong healthy relation should look like.
    I personally struggle with the idea that in modern relationships, one partner is expected to shoulder the entire financial burden. With how far we've come towards gender equality, I believe that everyone should have the opportunity and responsibility to contribute equally. A healthy relationship to me means both partners giving 100% in all aspects, including household duties. A relationship isn't 'fun'. It's about family, commitment, sharing moments, having someone to rely on, make memories and dying together. It is tough.
    I’m a bit apprehensive about entering relationships today because I feel that not everyone shares these views on equality and having a realistic partnership. I think most girls expect the world to be handed out to them. They think everything is owed to them and when you can't give it (anymore) you don't deserve them. They expect the princess life they see online and in movies. Which is ridiculous. I don't like spending money at all. However I did financially support Ukraine which I rather do than buying new unnecessary clothes.
    Now, I'm curious to see what the video says.
    Edit:
    I guess I wasn't wrong. I really don't understand your thought process. I get that you have always been spoiled and had that princess treatment. Not a care in the world. I don't even understand how you are scared of not having enough money. You've had more money than most people will ever have and they can raise a family just fine. You should not be telling all these girls who look up to you and follow your advice such things imo.
    I also found the comment in the video saying "Women will always be responsible for the children" quite perplexing. Do you think we don't love our children? You think men enjoy not being able to be with their kids growing up? What kind of stupid stereotypes are you conveying here? It reinforces outdated stereotypes rather than promote the equality I associate with feminism. I've been told feminism promotes equality between the sexes in all aspects, such as financial, political,.... I've been told that it supports man's rights too ("Of course"), but as I am shown once more, is a complete lie. That's why I don't believe in the movement at all, but I'm surprised you call yourself feminist and progressive. You don't seem like it at all. Theoretically speaking that is, because in reality you are exactly what I feared most women/feminists were actually thinking. I don't know why I'm surprised.
    I'd like to ask you and other girls, and I'd really appreciate some honest responses.
    Can a man be successful in life without money?
    Can a man be considered successful when all he has is money?
    Have you ever thought about being in a man's shoes?
    What makes a women successful?
    Are women materialistic?
    Does real love exist? Should I just dedicate my life to making money, so my wife can feel happy and secure and she can buy unnecessary things like you are doing?

    • @juli-fz7ep
      @juli-fz7ep 3 месяца назад +9

      1. No a man can not be successful without money (we live in a capitalist society, we need money just to eat and live)
      2. No a man also needs character but it depends on the definition of success
      3. im sure she has, in the video, she states she would have to move to another area where her boyfriend would have more job opportunities (she has a job that makes 6 figures and she would lose it)
      4. i think its different for all, but for me good relationships and a family
      5. not all, but yes, sometimes men are materalistic too but its also had symbolic value throughout history- for example, kings used to gift their wives/concubines with expensive gifts depending who they favoured. the way i see it, women feel loved in giving gifts and receiving gifts like any other human.
      5. real love exist in my opinion, but its not unnecessary like she is doing, maybe to you, but she is born with a different family and raised in a different way. her boyfriend, is also just as privelged and gets allowances too. find someone in your own league and they will understand you

    • @SL-lz9jr
      @SL-lz9jr 3 месяца назад +14

      It all comes down to values and priorities. Find a woman that aligns with your views. I have babysat for families where women were the breadwinners and husbands were the homemakers. I have babysat for traditional families. I have also babysat for families where both spouses worked equally with similar incomes. It all comes down to values and priorities. Some women prefer to work, some don't. I have also known of families where the wife kept working because her health benefits were better for the family (good government benefits) while the husband earned the higher income, so the wife's paycheck went towards paying for their nanny's salary. Every family is different. I used to want a husband who outearns me because I didn't grow up with income stability at all. But honestly, I expect to inherit from my parents some day so in the long run, I'll be okay financially. And I have savings and retirement accounts. So if I want to be a stay at home mom for my children's early years (those early years are crucial for their development and I don't want a stranger raising them), then husband and I will just have to save up for the short term loss of income and tighten up our expenses during those early years. Then I can return to work when the kids are in school full time. I also dated a few high earning men and the reason they are high income earners is because they're always working. I realized quickly that I'd much rather have an involved husband and father for my kids than an absent spouse and dad. I think it's important we all sit down and really think through what our priorities in a partner are. For me I realized the income is less important because my parents have already set me up for success financially so as long as my husband isn't a lazy deadbeat, what matters more is that he's motivated and driven but wants to spend quality time with his family. Nowadays finding a family man is hard. Most men I meet don't want kids and aren't looking for marriage... So... That's the hard part. I've adjusted my expectations but finding a compatible partner is hard.

    • @JuliaMarieH
      @JuliaMarieH 3 месяца назад +3

      This 100%!! Her take is only possible when both partners are so privileged it doesn’t matter.

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 3 месяца назад

      How naiive.

    • @Pieza_De_Queso
      @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад

      Bro, just find a girl that aligns with your slightly misogynistic ideas that you mixed up with progressiveness and sto0 whining online 🙄.
      No girl is forcing u to date them. Find your one and quit complaining

  • @Melisa_1211
    @Melisa_1211 10 месяцев назад +4

    Your perspectives are always spot on ❤

  • @atotalwar6837
    @atotalwar6837 7 месяцев назад +3

    Wow, just discovered your channel thanks to Tik Tok and your content has been super helpfull. Cant wait to see more from you.

  • @user-pw1cx7yz9r
    @user-pw1cx7yz9r Месяц назад +2

    Альбина, спасибо большое за хороший совет!

  • @gia_almiranez00
    @gia_almiranez00 Месяц назад +1

    aaaah thank youuu I've learned so much 😭

  • @gonnabefree
    @gonnabefree Месяц назад +1

    It is a massive oxymoron being feminist, wanting to be independent and a boss but then wanting a man to take care of your needs. Interesting video but it’s hard for my guy brain to understand how this is not a contradiction.

  • @thepragmatist
    @thepragmatist 3 месяца назад +1

    I appreciate your honesty in your videos.

  • @pavithraramesh7248
    @pavithraramesh7248 Месяц назад +1

    Best advice everr ❤ Thanks Sis

  • @AsdrubaleRossi
    @AsdrubaleRossi Месяц назад

    I think it depends what you think 50-50 is. If it is just about money, it is very easy to transition away from it when you are married.
    The problem is when you want to do everything 50-50, because you don't understand that everyone brings something different to the relationship. Me and my wife were splitting 50-50 whenever we were going somewhere together, but we never had the idea that we should contribute exactly in the same way to everything 50-50. Being married means being a team, and in a team, everyone contributes in the way they can, doing the things they are best at. Now that she is not being able to find a job, she takes care of everything in the apartment and bureaucracy, but that will change as soon as she finds a job and doesn't have that much time. With this mindset, it was very natural to switch from my and her money to our money, and for her to not feel guilty when she spends it. Same thing for me to not feel guilty about not cleaning the house or cooking. If you think of a couple as a team, you can be very flexible and balance things out even if things change.

  • @Queenolgi1
    @Queenolgi1 3 месяца назад +3

    Hey there, it is so sad. My fiance is progressive and want to split everything and I was raised the man should pay for everything

    • @spacebar9733
      @spacebar9733 3 месяца назад +5

      Why are you with him?

    • @Thufferinthuckotash
      @Thufferinthuckotash 3 месяца назад +2

      Be with someone who thinks like you (that women arent equal to men)

    • @marvin2678
      @marvin2678 Месяц назад

      so you also cook ?

  • @vanessabasca8051
    @vanessabasca8051 Месяц назад

    Girl, good for you! Love watching your videos :)

  • @therealfeminine3219
    @therealfeminine3219 3 месяца назад +2

    Girl post more !! This was great

  • @S41GON
    @S41GON Месяц назад +3

    Why am I even watching this shit, I cant relate, like at all... this is so much divorced from reality of everyday people.

  • @livbielke
    @livbielke 10 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you Albina for todays video 💘💘

  • @wednes3day
    @wednes3day 3 месяца назад +2

    Ngl, screw 50/50 ... go with each contributing proportional to your net income?
    a) fair, b) adjusts to changing dynamics

  • @CreiziKiwi
    @CreiziKiwi Месяц назад

    Role model for relationship 💅🏼

  • @a1baba
    @a1baba Месяц назад

    The title is completely wrong. There is nothing wrong with having any kind of relationship as long as it feels nice for both. The main thing is that people have to talk about all aspects of future life together BEFORE marriage or even serious relationship.

  • @BanduluJamaica
    @BanduluJamaica 4 месяца назад +15

    Why not spend the extra money you have because he handles the expenses on things that will benefit the union rather than yourself🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @Remeiko
      @Remeiko 4 месяца назад +2

      please answer this question, Albina. I am curious as well

    • @carolineh1455
      @carolineh1455 3 месяца назад +4

      It's purely symbolic. Both of them make so much money it doesn't matter how they spend it and who spends what.

    • @williamwatson2423
      @williamwatson2423 3 месяца назад +17

      Because the whole thing is based around her desire to "receive".
      She says at 24:40, " when you're paying for me I feel very taken care of and I feel very safe. I feel like I can always rely on you and I feel like you just you're just doing your best to make my life easier".
      See that? It's all about her, her, her. It's basically saying, "I think you should pay for everything because then it makes my life easier".
      The man could say the exact same words to her and they'd make just as much sense.
      It's the princess mentality. Her dad treated her like a princess so she expects to be treated like a princess. There's nothing wrong with that, just don't look for it to make more sense than that

    • @itsjustaname777
      @itsjustaname777 3 месяца назад

      @@williamwatson2423and western courts treat women like princesses when it comes to divorce payouts and alimony

    • @juli-fz7ep
      @juli-fz7ep 3 месяца назад +14

      theyre both privileged financially, and if you listened, you wouls know that she said marriage is a union and her earnings would decrease with a child, its risky for women to have children because we often have to leave our careers etc her boyfriend says he prefers to handle the finances too cuz hes traditional so idk instead of trying to change that, go find someone that fits your standards

  • @asmita2318
    @asmita2318 Месяц назад +2

    Went to movies with a guy. Complained about the price the whole time. Huge turn off.

  • @panhradu
    @panhradu 25 дней назад

    Most people don't have money to talk about. :D

  • @cassiopeiathew7406
    @cassiopeiathew7406 3 месяца назад

    I haven’t watched the video yet because it’s 2:00am but for me it’s whatever feels most convenient for spending, once it gets serious it depends on what we both feel is necessary and what I can do to maintain dominance and power. I’m very attracted to power, and I don’t want to be tyrannical or abusive by any means but I always want to be the one who loses less by walking away. We can take turns in dominant positions, I’m very attracted to my own domination as well but I want control over that as well. I don’t mean this sexually even though I’m sure the language could be construed that way, but it’s more so about that capacity in life and human experience because I want to feel the whole of what love can allow. I want him under my thumb and I want to know we both enjoy it.

  • @EdytaBruckmann
    @EdytaBruckmann Месяц назад +1

    And how to find a guy with such a mindset like your partner? That’s an idea for the next video, I guess 😅

  • @Nat_Jio
    @Nat_Jio 3 месяца назад +1

    Why r ur videos so entertaining

  • @a.b.creator
    @a.b.creator Месяц назад

    I wish i had thought about the things you think about at 24 yrs.

  • @maciej6195
    @maciej6195 21 день назад

    Hi Albina! You did a great job with that video. May I ask you what kind of job you do? I believe you once mentioned it's a Corporate type, but what exactly do you do since you find doing insurance documents stressful? There is no hate in this message. I'm just curious what kind of job it is?

  • @Blsmu
    @Blsmu 3 месяца назад +3

    what about women who don't want children? Can you give me your perspective ?

    • @Pieza_De_Queso
      @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад +1

      They still can want whatever arrangement they like. If they find a partner that agrees and also wants it, it is nobody else's business.

  • @yeahnah4303
    @yeahnah4303 2 месяца назад

    I love you. You're so smart and beautiful!

  • @ojaseeduble9310
    @ojaseeduble9310 3 месяца назад

    So glad I found you. Love from mumbai ❤

  • @luizaprestes2166
    @luizaprestes2166 18 часов назад

    do you have resources or ways to get started networking in new york or in the us in general ? i am working on launching a holistic womens health app and have been looking for mentors in the tech space

  • @spiritofmatter1881
    @spiritofmatter1881 3 месяца назад +1

    As an astrologer I made a video response for this.
    Very important to budget for more components that other types of financial advice for couples might find more difficult to predict

  • @S41GON
    @S41GON Месяц назад

    "stay at home husbands"
    Im sorry, what?

  • @mossmoss2019
    @mossmoss2019 Месяц назад

    if you want to do ponytails for videos put your camera more up/ eye level

  • @cosmiclovetravelagency
    @cosmiclovetravelagency Месяц назад

    We need more men like that 👈

  • @youtubech12345
    @youtubech12345 2 месяца назад

    nice why don't you work in your family business to help your father or is that not aligned with your goals and your family goals? you seem to have a great relationship so working with him wouldn't be difficult like for someone who has a difficult relationship with their father
    sorry for the question but I am just curious

  • @Oluwatoyosi.A
    @Oluwatoyosi.A 21 день назад

    ❤❤❤

  • @Qwitsucosplays
    @Qwitsucosplays Месяц назад +3

    is this satire...

  • @luciipharaoh
    @luciipharaoh 3 месяца назад +4

    You are sending mixed signals... but i do agree every marriage should have a prenup. Finances should not be a sole responsibility. When you swear an oath, you should both take care of each other in a way your love languages align. A solid relationship is always 50/50, it just doesn't have to be financialy 50/50. Also you barely mentioned what ways you can provide in your relationship... A good foundation in a relationship is always starting out with your true intentions. Otherwise you are just like any business person or investor

    • @marcdoutherd3424
      @marcdoutherd3424 3 месяца назад +5

      No mixed signals, really. There is a certain complexity to the reality she's describing.

    • @marcdoutherd3424
      @marcdoutherd3424 3 месяца назад +6

      She also mentioned how eventually she too will be in a vulnerable position. Everything is a risk, and, in the end, you've got to give some to get some. Ultimately what she's describing is as much about values as navigating the financial practicalities in a relationship.

  • @Nikitas3961
    @Nikitas3961 3 месяца назад +9

    If you're getting an allowance from your parents each month, your life is on easy mode. And your advice is worthless. Enjoy!

  • @mradziko
    @mradziko Месяц назад +4

    I’m sorry but being a feminist exactly means that you can be however you want, so being a feminist means you should not be embarassed to say that you want to be treated like a princess and provided for 100%

  • @happyface3216
    @happyface3216 10 месяцев назад +4

    Ummm then why put down your card if you expected him to pay?

    • @aliyevaalbina
      @aliyevaalbina  10 месяцев назад +11

      I always put down my card, not to put pressure on anyone:)

  • @sophialena3354
    @sophialena3354 Месяц назад +1

    I went on a date with a guy who wanted 4 euros back for ice cream he bought for me. never talked to him again.

    • @Pieza_De_Queso
      @Pieza_De_Queso Месяц назад

      Omg, girl. If he wasn't actually broke, he was probably one of those lads who think they can "humble" beautiful women. I heard they ask for this petty stuff back to make u feel like you're not worthy it and to make u give up on your values (if you're also woman who wants provider), so they can lower your self esteem and control u

  • @TooCoolToSpeakLess
    @TooCoolToSpeakLess 3 месяца назад

    OMGG!That girl speaks the truth,I luv it sm! Also,I'd say your glasses very match to your suit and mind,it's so sexy!

  • @teabag3620
    @teabag3620 2 месяца назад +1

    ur views are very insincere

  • @ojaseeduble9310
    @ojaseeduble9310 3 месяца назад +2

    So glad you found David 🥹🥹

  • @artaimed
    @artaimed 3 месяца назад +3

    Do you switch off Ads or is youtube being generous on my mind 🫣🫣