Idk why im finding that so hard to believe when they are around you.. its like they dont even like you or wanna be touched by you.. it’s so fucking weird
The word "abandoning" is like a petulant child's tantrum. It's victimization when THEY are the ones who either ghosted you or mistreated you causing you to leave. The underlying thread of narcissism is truly that they are CHILDISH.
Girl I was more than traumatized I even ended up with enlarged liver also bypass a stroke. And each time I think it's over he finds something to come against me with. I mean this man left to work in Florida still married to me married the other woman and still trying to destroy my life. The more ignore him is like an active volcano ready to erupt
I was married to a narc, very toxic, very negative person. Number changed, address changed, job changed. And yes i did leave him for someone else.....My higher self!!!!!!!
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life. That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
I was married to a narcissist for 18 years. I asked him to changed and he refused to change. I filed for divorce left and sold the house and split the money between us. No he does not want to sign the paperwork talking bout it’s not about the money. We been together too long. No way not going back. I got tired of the gaslighting, lies, cheating, manipulation, emotional, financially, mentally and spirituality. Glad it’s almost over.🎉🎉
@@mikeyb6806do everything legal. That was my mistake, not doing so. He took my daughter and even won custody when he decided he had the legal chance to brainwash her. Please, don't ever down your guard and do the legal stuff four your custody. My daughter's life was quite a nightmare for this mistake I did, not taking that moment of discard as a chance for me and her. She came back with me at 16, and her father died when she was 19, a year ago. She was with him since only 4 y.o. I can't tell you how much he damaged both of us, and how difficult is watching your child struggle in pain. Do everything legal now! Do not wait
He cheated on me and I avoided him because of that but he concluded that I have left him for someone else but it never crossed his mind that it was because he cheated on me. So he quickly jumped into another relationship just to make me jealous for supposedly "leaving him".
Abandonment is the image a narcissist puts on because it makes a person, especially a woman, see them as children that don't know any better and only need someone to stay with them and put up with their endless crap. The picture of an abandoned child is a real heart-yanker to a person with empathy, right? They will switch to that picture, crying and threatening suicide, so that you stay trapped and feeling obligated to "be there for them." Even though every time you stay, they crap on you and stay in chaos that they themselves have machinated. As soon as you come back, they will eventually start strutting and banging on their chests because they feel that they got over on you and they just KNEW that you couldn't do without their sexy, charming, devilish bad-boy selves. But they're really angry at you because they KNOW they are deceivers and the only reason you came back was for the person that they originally presented themselves to be, hoping they are sincere this time. I hope you got away from that clown permanently, you don't need that crap from anybody.
I just left a narcissist.let him think everything was good. Kissed him dropped him off to work then went back to his place and packed my stuff and blocked him in every way he could think to contact me
Wow. My mom did all of that when I left college. We had a huge fight and she withdrew my funding; when I couldn't get loans alone the school had to make me leave campus. I moved in with my roommates family at 19 and to this day Mom tells people I ran away from home. She also started a smear campaign against me to my roommates' family so abusive they actually (without telling me) got a lawyer to write her a cease-and-desist letter. We found a copy of the letter after my roomie's grandparents moved to assisted living. They never told me they had done that, and I appreciate their kindness to this day. They've become my family, which is good because my mom has turned my entire biofam against me. Freedom has a heavy price and the price is always worth it.
First off i want to say I’m so proud of you for getting away from her and knowing her ways weren’t loving ways. I’m also sorry you had to endure that. No one should ever have to. I’m so happy to hear you found real love and genuine friends That became your family ❤️❤️ Best wishes to you and your future.
My mom did the exact same thing to me…but I went to the Financial Aid office and said my parents abandoned me and I was a homeless teen. They changed my status to a non-traditional student, which increased my financial aid! Nothing can stop you if you have determination.
Yeah. One of my exes was the “if I can’t have you, no one else can.” I ended up in a “safehouse” and had to move. It’s years later and I’m still single. I was faithful af. He cheated all over the place and worse.
The first step that you took was realizing something wasn't right, admitting it, then seeking help. It takes an "outstanding" person to take accountability for their own actions ... Mr Lee i applaud you on ALL PLATFORMS ❤
But when they abandon their partner and then come back, they expect open arms. 😵💫It's crazy. I got ghosted 2yrs ago by someone i deeply cared for. Well.. he called me last week acting like nothing happened. Telling me how he loves me and wants to marry me. How I'm the only woman that he ever loved. I'm Beauty to his Beast😢. The only reason I picked the call was to observe how he was gonna come at me. I asked him why he thought I would want to marry a man that could just disappear on me like that. He gave a weak ass, general apology. Keep in mind the apology was not specific and didnt answers why he ghosted. So i took the direct approach and asked what happen to him. He said he was busy building😮💨. He's definitely not in therapy and he's definately a narcissist. That's a hard "no" for me Sir! Awesome videos. Thank you❤
Yes. They love to act like nothing happened. It is truly mind-boggling to me. Like, I get second hand embarrassment from watching them trying to do that. They literally think you are stupid enough and emotionally desperate enough to just play along with them and act like nothing happened. They pick you up and put you down like a toy or a video game joystick.
It's crazy how the jealousy seems to be the only emotion I ever see from him. He only showed what seemed like love in the very beginning. A long as he feels like you are in pain he's happy to go about his life as usual. The second you seem content, he will switch from ignoring you to the guilt trips, blame shifting, and accusing.
I moved to another state 3 weeks ago. Do you know this joker had the nerve to ask me, "Do you got a friend up there?" 🥴I had to tell him...... The last thing I need right now is another person to be caught up into me while I'm still trying to focus on my healing...... I'm not him, he needs that. He has a whole relationship with someone else! This fool even asked why I left him😂...... He discarded me. Everything you said today, Lee was absolutely true!
@mentalHealness Lee, I'm 13 years into this misery. Y'all please pray for me. Truly narcissistic, manipulative, gaslighting, passive aggressive, lying, cheating, stonewalling, self-centered man who doesn't care how it's done as long as he gets his way. Most of the above terms I became aware of on your platform, Lee, as I listened to your videos, I felt like you knew this narc. It was so on point. He had me thinking that something was mentally wrong with me. He really was messing with my mental stability. Had me questioning and second guessing my self and my sanity. Watching your videos has helped me understand that people like this do live and don't care and plan to destroy you.😢😢
It's just amazing to me 3 yrs later after my ex narcissist discarded me and educating myself from Lee and so many other coaches that this would be such a hot discussion!! People of all ages, all races, people from every background of all walks of life have channels about narcissism on every platform!! All over the world!!! Absolutely amazing!! It's not a good thing for anyone that's non toxic to go through this but at least we're not by ourselves!!! Unless you've experienced it, you sure as hell don't know or no one would believe it happened!!
If there's one thing I've learned about toxic people attacking after you leave, it's that you need to be trigger-happy with calling the cops. Threats, vandalism, coming to your house, threatening suicide, etc,. Even if the police do nothing, it gets you closer to a restraining order and them to a prison sentence.
YES be proactive! You can't act like you have a soft spot for them, your compassion comes off as weakness and they prey on the weak. Check them EVERY step of the way from the beginning, never let your foot off their necks. They usually back off once they realize you aren't joking with using force because they hate having to deal with consequences.
OMG 😲....Lee you connected the dots for me. Now I know I have a Nigerian husband who is a narcissist. I'm in day 5 of blocking him. I came back to the US because I thought he had a split personality. I needed to hear this.
Same for one from Senegal. Very splitted my dear. A fragmented personality like a swarm of bees.... or tiny pieces. We can only interact with some pieces of them at a time. Attention swarms are capable of shape shifting. And Attention men from this culture have double lifes, multiple lifes more easily. Targets in US, Europe and their original country
Sam Vaknin argues that narcissists have multiple personalities but that would require them to have a consolidated ego/ personality in the first place and by their very nature, narcissists have no self stabilizing internal core Regardless, I hope you continue no contact. You will be healthier for it
My ex confronted me for telling one of his friends that I wanted to get married again at a birthday party for our son. I was sitting one seat away from his second wife. He said I disrespected him. I told him he had lost his mind and never come to me with that mess again.
Mine thought for sure that I was going back to my exhusband. Wasn’t true. And yes, he went off his rocker when I told him I was leaving. I’m 1000 miles away now. Makes it a little tougher to come after me especially since he’s broke and would have to borrow money for the gas to get here.
My ex narc actually said to me that if he repaid me everything he owed me, that I would then never contact him again. I can't believe he actually admitted that.
The comments section of this video is so relatable.. yes, they push you away, make it impossible for you to contact them, are terrified to/will never contact you first.. then somehow in their own minds, they later accuse * you* of "abandoning" them.. or say "idk why but i can't leave you alone".. which is ?? Bc all they've been doing is leaving you alone! [Insert the "confused black girl" meme pic here.]
After listening to the whole video.. yep.. knew a few others in the past who were dangerous stalkers, 2 of them flipped out illogically/tried to unalive me in n went to jail. (I grew up w narcissistic parents/relatives, n thus have subconsciously attracted a lot of narcissists thruout my life, even down to random strangers that just start following me (whether on foot or by car) on the street while I'm walking or driving, all the way to my house, or a guy i barely knew, (who had a long-term live-in gf, btw), who literally parked his car across the street in the dark n waited for hours outside my house, without me knowing, or a random guy that stalked me on a * plane* during a long-haul int'l flight, which * everyone* on the plane noticed/i felt humiliated cuz i was still young/in my early-20s n hated having the entire plane staring at me due to his antics, not to mention how claustrophobic n scared i felt for 12 hours straight. or one time when (bafflingly/I dont even understand what was happening), i was shopping w my mom (as an adult), n this enormous man/well over 6 ft, dressed in bad drag, kept staring at me w horny creepy eyes/smile, n following n brushing past me persistently thruout the store, no matter how many times i moved away to a different aisle. That was even all-the-more bizarre, bc it happened in the Midwest, well before the woke era, when u really never saw ppl like that in my hometown. But even among non-narcissists, the "normal" guys that are attracted to me always seem to say they * knew* i was the one they are gonna marry, at first sight/they still feel convinced they're gonna marry me, to this day. And say that they feel a special connection w me that they never felt b4. I dont know if thats just what guys say to every girl, to try to get w them. Sometimes i assume it has to be game, but other times i think maybe it's not.. bc there are always so many women who are frustrated that guys won't get serious/committed to them, even after years of dating or situationship. So.. idk. Anyway, due to so many incidents like this in my life, my narcissistic/controlling parents became even more over-protective/controlling, to the point i wasnt allowed to go anywhere alone or do anything except stay home. All while blaming me for "attracting crazy freaks n dangerous ppl" everywhere i go. While that may be true, i literally only mind my own business n never dress provocatively or even wear makeup. Actually/ironically, when i do make an effort to look nice, no one talks to me at all/guys get scared n can't even look at me. So, it's not that. The thing that seems to attract narcissists, in my experience: they see you n instantly think n compliment you that you look "perfect"/ some kind of ideal of perfect beauty is met for them, then they feel like they automatically own you or something, bc they have been dreaming abt meeting someone like you for so long. They feel like you owe them their lifelong fantasies of a "perfect" relationship/sex, w someone who looks like you.. it's all external/superficial/hollow, and also, unrealistic, and it never occurs to them that you also will have your own values and thoughts/feelings/desires n dreams, as a human entity who is not them, much less, it never occurs to them to even think to be interested or ask to find out what you're thinking or what you want. It's all abt them/what they want out of you, even w my own parents n relatives, who regarded me as a trophy-child, n used that to justify "protecting"/controlling me, And anyway, ultimately both w family n in dating, narcissists will start off "adoring"/idolizing you, but increasingly feel more n more "justified" to hate/blame/punish/demonize you, bc you didnt match the mentally-immature unrealistic fantasies/expectations in their own minds. Nobody can. but i will no longer tolerate this/i know the signs now! 💪🏻)
This is absolutely true. Go silent for freaking weeks. Then come back saying I love you, burning a whole through your face. look u dead in the eyes and tell u some bullshit. Maybe I should pretend he's dead. Seems like that's what they do.
When u said you not trying to scare us, but they will try to take u out. That needed to be said, you actually helping us know how serious it can get. When some people do videos on narcs they don't talk about how dangerous they can be. It's important that we don't leave that out.
Mine recently went silent for 3 days and came back like nothing happened then proceeded to say I was the one who didn't talk to him and he thought I was abandoning him 😅😭
He thought you were going to chase him , running up behind him, or the old reverse psychology he left and did what he wanted to do and then came back and he had to make it look like it was you
I get that a lot. He barely talks to me he will be on phone if I’m at work or he at work barely says word like he just wants to listen what I’m doing. Yet he chat and laugh with others. If I don’t call him through out the day he sarcastically be like oh you busy you too busy for me. I say your at work today I don’t no when you get a break so call me. He doesn’t then complains I’m ignoring. I’m like you didn’t call me either. Does that mean you don’t care. He can’t answer
Well, this is what the narc I dealt with is doing with his brand spanking new supply. It’s gon be hard for her to leave living together, car club together…. He probably feels suffocated but she probably feels DEAD by now. Poor woman does not know what she got herself into. But so thankful for her. She’s got her own lessons to learn
I grey rocked & eventually went no contact with a narcissist woman friend. I found that to be the safest way to get out of the friendship. Of course she got mad, blew up, accused me of ghosting her & projected things she did on me, but my safety & peace of mind comes first. When the accusations and & argument from them comes, DO NOT engage. If you must, be stoic, keep it to the point, do not get emotional, but most importantly stand your ground. Forgive them but keep them out of your life/circle. Some are highly dangerous to themselves & others.
5:36 - 6:13 is so on point.. as well as 7:53 - 8:17.. i recall several narcissists ive known (guys, relatives, etc) who said, "ok well how does this benefit * me*?".. w 0 self-awareness of how selfish n inappropriate it was to ask that. Even for the ones who lack the capacity to consciously form that sentiment into words, ive noticed that this is always their internal driving force/motivation n thought process, in life: "ok but how does this benefit * me*?"
The narcissist projects so much of they're own emotions on to u that when they abandon you it can feel similar because of how much u tolerated and given
My narcissistic sister told her boyfriend of almost 18 yrs. to leave after he refused to sign over his property to her. Now she's telling him he abandoned her and has been showing her a$$ by crying, calling and texting him, showing up at his house, taking her car to the garage of where he works. And the crazy thing is that she's had a side guy for the last year they were together. About a month after they broke up I started sending him all kinds of videos on narcissism and it's really helped him stay strong and see who and what she is. My nephew, his wife and I have created our own support group including her exboyfriend and it's helped us all tremendously! Thank you so much for all that you do!🙏🙏🙏✌💜
My brother ticks every single box to be a narcissist & I didn't realise just how much he was exploiting me until I got a boyfriend & saw him trying to exploit him too. He would make it impossible to hold self respect without disrespecting my brother so that he could throw him out. As I started to realise I started to say no to him & then I really found out how little he cares. I have him & his wife a home to live in with me & when I started to say no I soon became homeless.
What he speaks of is so true. Once I decided to divorce the narcissist I was married too, he made it his business to vandalize my car, I mean he destroyed it (denies it to this day), and bullied me harshly. Then turned his whole family against me when I divorced him. To this day his family blames me for the divorce not even realizing this fool is a whole narcissist
I think that is what I fell for while married, I invested in a second home and business. She did it to keep me around. Once the business venture failed, she bailed out. It’s real folks.
My ex broke up with me return to his ex but followed me around..he popped up at my job,my house and places I shop...soon as he realized I was moving on he faked a heart attack.he called my sister to meet him at the hospital.my sister called me and I'm like girl ignore him...he begged and pleaded with to work things out and then he dumped me a week later for moving on with someone else..it was so confusing.he didn't want to talk about returning to his ex. He only pointed out that I moved on after the 💔 break...
I refuse to even try and start another relationship with someone else. I know he will sabotage it. And it's not fair for someone else to have try and deal with that shit
They don't I have a theory but don't want I try and debunk Lee he is doing great. Often people are raised by narcs they act like a narcissist but that doesn't mean they are entirely a narc. Narcs don't change or get better ever. Don't ever think they do.
Oh Lee, this is the explaination I was looking for since 2019!!! I feel relief, thankfulness and appreciation for this revelation! You are explaining me the right thing, the mindset behind this unfair & unreasonable accusation! I was the one who even protected his trauma of abondonment, to give him a safe experience, a safe space to allow real love to happen. I didn't want to break up even when he started to distancing himself from me to focus elsewhere, started to starve me emotionally ... had lesser & lesser time to meet ... I felt like in the middle of the desert missing our love like a oasis, missing him like the rain ... I told him I feel disconnection from his sight. He literally said:"DISTANCE NO EXIST" and "Everything is okay between us" .... took time to realize that is a mirage .... I have to find the way back to a place where I can exist, where I will be safe & secure. But I didn't want to reactivate his trauma of abondonment that happened as a child AND as an adult (Hard rejection, hard losses). Finally when I saw him going so far manipulating me in a stupid way to get a iPhone to organize his new target(s) in an easier way (his fuel matrix I guess ) and demanded that I should to pay for that (what a heartless and outlandish demand !) I made the hard decision to remove myself from this situation, recognizing that this is a mirage ... a manipulation .... this B-movie = is the wrong film! I decided to standup and refuse to watch this film and to act on that no more. I decided not to play his game. And he was ACTIVATED and accused me the same way You tell us, Lee. YOU ACTUALLY SAVE MY HEART & SOUL. I confirm your warning. I felt it became soooo dangerous for me. My safety system was on high alert (I am not the anxious type. I am a fighter, a soldier.) and I felt that way only in life danger, in a war zone. I can trust my instincts. I instantly knew: This person is highly dangerous when I decide not to follow his demands, not believing his lies & his stories (pitty play) not giving in, not forgetting what our clear appointments was and not letting him disrespecting this, not accepting covert now obvious abuse in any shape or form, and finally removing myself from his games. I wish I would have been not alone with this heartbreaking decision. Found the support I missed here in your video 4 years after my lonesome decision that felt extremely hurtful for myself but necessary at the same time to rescue myself. My inner radar for danger told me: NEVER try to contact, connect and explain your decision 1 on 1 to this kind of person ‼️ My inner radar warned me:"Stay away ! Get out & stay out! Hold your ground, even when the guilt tripping and occurring self doubts almost kill you - just hold your ground. You are not to blame! You was all in and all you've done was from a kind pure heart. YOU are the Sincere one, the One who was manipulated into saving him and than betrayed in multiple ways and left behind, not him❗ "
I'm just now waking up from this nightmare after 20 yrs dealing with my ex- narcissist. I'm still not out of the house but will be very soon! I met him when I was 18 him 30 and I'm now 40 and him 51 and he's still at it! I honestly can't believe I stayed for so many years and would allow someone to treat me like he has. Cross your fingers for me you all cause my move is coming by the beginning of the month and I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm so damn scared! ❤
I totally hear you. I was going to just escape quietly after 5 years but was advised to get a restraining order. I wanted to blow up the cycle of abuse, not be tempted to go back and feel protected. The ‘authorities’ just don’t get it (as it’s mostly psychological abuse) and have made the situation even worse. I saw him more after the provisional restraining order than before it was in place. No one else wants to get involved to help as a witness/character reference. I’m going to keep on keeping on but the anxiety I feel, when I see him is overwhelming. I have never suffered from that before. When he was in breech for parking near my apartment, the police said; it’s just a coincidence (he lives a 40 min drive away) Stay strong. Sending love from Spain.
He left us and I still feel as if he felt abandoned. He stalked me. Threaten to unalive me. All the while, his own health is declining rapidly. It's disheartening. Better than any revenge I'd ever thought of was karma lighting his behind up.
Games, Gaming, and playing a Human Being for a fool is a straight up foreign concept for some of us. The truth is to terrible to believe, yet finally we got it.
What you said in this clip, happened to me, exactly word by word. After giving her so many chances, when we finally broke up she was with someone else straight away while were still living together and she was bringing him home and sleeping with him while I'm still living in the same house. Ofcourse my ego was hurt but at the same time I said to myself good luck to you my friend, she is your problem now. When we broke up she said the same thing to me what you once said, that when you give them a chance in their mind they think that you're ok with it, she told me exactly that "since you stayed with me than it wasn't that bad". Luckily this story happened like over 20yrs ago, I was very young and naive, and ironically, she sent me a fb request during the pandemic as soon as I recognised who she was I deleted it without thinking twice.
Lee, your rendition of the dire phone call, is spot on... now I can laugh. While I was in it, I was sure I was doi g such a bad thing to him!! By choosing me. Wow
I'm cracking up laughing because its so true..."you have to be leaving me for someone else".....LMAO.....This topic makes me so anxious, I am sweating. I KNOW he is going to be stalking, he would never hurt me...but he blatantly tells me he drives by..started asking if someone is living with me...LMAO.....That's what happened..LMAO...he left me for someone after 9 yrs & after she dumped him, he THOUGHT I would be sitting here waiting...LMAO.....I haven't even moved on but that was the first thing he said...I must have someone else...LMAO...Protecting my peace, I told him I would call him in 6 months, like he left me hanging for 6 months & if he was unreachable it is what it is...Thanks for describing him to a "T".
Hi Lee, yes - the shame drives them insane 😡😡😡 plan as if it's a physically violent situation, the loss of you can put you in a very real life or death situation. ***Be Safe*** Plan Quietly Change & Hide all bank, passwords, phones, any which way they can put agony in your life, it's been planned. They were never going to stay and never going to be right. ❤❤❤ Great video! Pam from Detroit aka "panels" wainio lol😅
I just became what I was accused of. I blocked him and no contact, and went ahead and became the user, cheater, and "liar with zero integrity!" I am in his HEAD. 😂 I let him be the victim he NEEDED to be. Victim narc.
I did the exact same thing i was accused of cheating so much that when i left i became the person she throught all along when she confonted me i siad why do you care we not together i tod her to get out my dm but she had to embarss me because she think i embrassed her so i let her win she can be victim 😂 i basicay gaslighted my way out of the arugment when she was done with convo she made sure to make it seem like the relationship was over because she dumpedme bit i actually dumped her 😂
My spouse has accused me of being a narcissist . I have definitely used the word abandon because we’ve been though multiple breakups initiated by him. I really started to believe I was a narcissist but after watching this….😂 I have never done none of this. I accept his decision, let him know I still want to fix things, and then I just move on with my life. I’m still searching to see what ways I’m narcissistic so I can work on myself and be better for my next relationship. Being accused of narcissism is hurtful and is definitely making me feel shameful and horrible
I also was accused of being one im going to see what i could approve on i mean i laugh at her many times because i felt like she was really paranoid and tod that to her face and then bam she called me a narc idk im still so confused
10:20-10:27, that’s not toxic😑 it makes lots of sense. When someone makes me feel like I’m abandoned, I make sure they suffer, because it’s all their fault. When someone gets into a relationship with me, if they obey me, respect me, stay loyal to me, validate me, give me all of their attention, time, and energy than I won’t feel abandoned, and everything should be ok 😌. I’m not being toxic or a narcissist, it’s just that I deserve respect and everything from them, because I do so much for people, and they couldn’t live without me 😌🙏🏽
Funny when you catch the Narc n put up boundaries n they ask who taught you this n you say RUclips n the Narc says who on RUclips teaching you this😅 now I got a keep my safe place safe
I want to say that I am NOT suicidal nor will I ever "just walk away" from my kids or grandbabies!! I got a real scary feeling the other day at my Mother in Laws funeral. My husband has been employed by the same company for 20yrs & I pretty much know all of his co-workers, or at least the names of all of them. So, 3 of his co-workers came to the funeral but one of them I've never seen nor heard any mention-ever-of this guy & my narc was realll sketchy about who this joker was. None of it made sense. Mind you, we've been married 30yrs so it's not like I'm just an insecure, clueless newlywed. Something was very off putting about the whole situation & tbh, I'm a little scared. A lot scared actually.
@@MentalHealness I wish I knew how. He's managed to alienate me from our kids & my mom's a narc too, so I've been no contact with her for almost 2 years. I have no support system & no where to go bc of finances. I hope I'm just overreacting. Thank you for replying
I went through 10 years of a marriege with a narcissist and he followed me, won custody of our child, and made my life miserable for the next maybe 10 years. He died last year. It is over. He popped up ar my job, trying to getting me fired (he even told me his intentions). At home everywhere. He was a nightmare.
You're right! My ex husband, when I broke up with him, he put something into my wine,broke some personal stuff and tried to break into my computer. As I realised he tried to, he got scared he could be discovered and told me about the wine. So, luckily I didn't drink it.
Yes! Our last convo the other day, he accused me again of having someone else bc i left, im like seriously?!? No its bc you treated me like crap and cheated the whole time. I actually think i mightve been the side chick even though he practically lived with me... idk.. i found out the other chick was financial providing for him... just all hurtful and traumatizing what went on. But his conclusion... "i know you got someone thats why you left me. You never loved me"
It’s going to come to me kicking him out and I’m dreading it. Since he will never except blame for why …I will be called names and badgered …it’s coming …he’s become verbally abusive regularly …he needs to go.
Literally my kids dad! He did me so dirty and I left. He has the audacity to be running around here like a tyrant as if I did something to him. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around this mess
I left ...It has been a year...He has left me alone except to ask me last year when I would get the stuff I left behind.....that was all.....I was the one who put up with many, many silent treatments, drinking, drugs, and passive aggressive behaviors....Was he waiting for me to come back begging? as his ego was too large to ever beg me to come back.
You are no longer a good supply for him and he knows that you are aware now of all his BS. He has other sources of supply, you are too challenging for him! And he knows that you are done
My first narc used to threat to un-alive me, him and out daugther…. He was physically abusive as well when I would break up with him when I would find out about him cheating so he actually held on to me for a while because of the fear of leaving him. They are usually very weak and usually are saying it to scare you. But it depends on how stable they are…
This is scary. I need a plan. I live alone with my son. I currently have two narcissistic men acting crazy, Stalking and even burglarized my home. One when I was 16 yrs old before I knew what a narcissist was and my on and off boyfriend. I need to leave 😫 my home and relocate is the only solution. To eventually find me again.
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Missing Everything [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dTYeMZGzOzw/mqdefault.jpg)
In a way, they’re right. I am abandoning them for someone else, someone better: Myself.
They don’t believe it they swear it’s about a guy
@@msboo2248 Always! Even my ex-gf. That was kind of a mind f. 😅
Amen 🙏 well said 😘
🙏🏼
Love it! Love it! Love it!🙌🙌🙌
Ay!
Ay!
Ay!
Love their nerve at feeling abandoned when they abandon you all the time!
😩😩
facts!!!!
Right. The audacity...
So very well put!
Love their hypocrisy.
They think you must have someone else because they can never be alone themselves.
💯
Idk why im finding that so hard to believe when they are around you.. its like they dont even like you or wanna be touched by you.. it’s so fucking weird
They hope
@@TianaLadySteel exhausting
@@kimgordon3695exactly! They hope you are so that they aren't the only ones who are guilty..
"You HAVE to have someone else."🤣Nope! I'm just tired of your ass!😂
😂
The word "abandoning" is like a petulant child's tantrum. It's victimization when THEY are the ones who either ghosted you or mistreated you causing you to leave. The underlying thread of narcissism is truly that they are CHILDISH.
Very true.
I’m the survivor of a malignant narc … he traumatized me 😢
😞
Me too, I'm sorry you had to go through that, stay strong
I’m so sorry to hear about that. I hope you can find a way to heal.
💔💪🏾💯
Girl I was more than traumatized I even ended up with enlarged liver also bypass a stroke. And each time I think it's over he finds something to come against me with. I mean this man left to work in Florida still married to me married the other woman and still trying to destroy my life. The more ignore him is like an active volcano ready to erupt
I was married to a narc, very toxic, very negative person. Number changed, address changed, job changed. And yes i did leave him for someone else.....My higher self!!!!!!!
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life. That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
I was married to a narcissist for 18 years. I asked him to changed and he refused to change. I filed for divorce left and sold the house and split the money between us. No he does not want to sign the paperwork talking bout it’s not about the money. We been together too long. No way not going back. I got tired of the gaslighting, lies, cheating, manipulation, emotional, financially, mentally and spirituality. Glad it’s almost over.🎉🎉
Praise God my divorce is final! I can move on with my life.
I don't know you, but I'm proud of you😊 Stay consistent & more importantly stay NO CONTACT😂
The abandonment is very insulting and devastating to them. They will seek revenge for sure. 🤦🏾♀️
💯💯
Hello! Could the revenge be discarding his son we share because I didn't chase?
@@mikeyb6806 Sadly, yes...
@@Narrow-Pather Thanks for replying!
@@mikeyb6806do everything legal. That was my mistake, not doing so.
He took my daughter and even won custody when he decided he had the legal chance to brainwash her. Please, don't ever down your guard and do the legal stuff four your custody. My daughter's life was quite a nightmare for this mistake I did, not taking that moment of discard as a chance for me and her.
She came back with me at 16, and her father died when she was 19, a year ago. She was with him since only 4 y.o. I can't tell you how much he damaged both of us, and how difficult is watching your child struggle in pain.
Do everything legal now! Do not wait
He cheated on me and I avoided him because of that but he concluded that I have left him for someone else but it never crossed his mind that it was because he cheated on me. So he quickly jumped into another relationship just to make me jealous for supposedly "leaving him".
Abandonment is the image a narcissist puts on because it makes a person, especially a woman, see them as children that don't know any better and only need someone to stay with them and put up with their endless crap. The picture of an abandoned child is a real heart-yanker to a person with empathy, right? They will switch to that picture, crying and threatening suicide, so that you stay trapped and feeling obligated to "be there for them." Even though every time you stay, they crap on you and stay in chaos that they themselves have machinated. As soon as you come back, they will eventually start strutting and banging on their chests because they feel that they got over on you and they just KNEW that you couldn't do without their sexy, charming, devilish bad-boy selves. But they're really angry at you because they KNOW they are deceivers and the only reason you came back was for the person that they originally presented themselves to be, hoping they are sincere this time. I hope you got away from that clown permanently, you don't need that crap from anybody.
dumb insecure babies
Insanity
@@arhafrench5319 argree.
😫😞😞
I just left a narcissist.let him think everything was good. Kissed him dropped him off to work then went back to his place and packed my stuff and blocked him in every way he could think to contact me
Wow. My mom did all of that when I left college. We had a huge fight and she withdrew my funding; when I couldn't get loans alone the school had to make me leave campus. I moved in with my roommates family at 19 and to this day Mom tells people I ran away from home. She also started a smear campaign against me to my roommates' family so abusive they actually (without telling me) got a lawyer to write her a cease-and-desist letter. We found a copy of the letter after my roomie's grandparents moved to assisted living. They never told me they had done that, and I appreciate their kindness to this day. They've become my family, which is good because my mom has turned my entire biofam against me. Freedom has a heavy price and the price is always worth it.
I'm so proud of you!
Thank God U got out
First off i want to say I’m so proud of you for getting away from her and knowing her ways weren’t loving ways.
I’m also sorry you had to endure that. No one should ever have to.
I’m so happy to hear you found real love and genuine friends That became your family ❤️❤️
Best wishes to you and your future.
Same
My mom did the exact same thing to me…but I went to the Financial Aid office and said my parents abandoned me and I was a homeless teen. They changed my status to a non-traditional student, which increased my financial aid! Nothing can stop you if you have determination.
I am so glad I prevented getting pregnant. Because I left him, moved and he couldn’t find me. And I had no ties with him
Prevented?🤨🧐
🙏
Same here
Same here. And he really wanted me to get off the pill and get pregnant. Nope! So thankful that I listened to my intuition.
Lucky u! I got a daughter by a gaslighting narcissist who is completely delusional 😢
Yeah. One of my exes was the “if I can’t have you, no one else can.” I ended up in a “safehouse” and had to move. It’s years later and I’m still single. I was faithful af. He cheated all over the place and worse.
The first step that you took was realizing something wasn't right, admitting it, then seeking help. It takes an "outstanding" person to take accountability for their own actions ... Mr Lee i applaud you on ALL PLATFORMS ❤
Thank you
Then come teaches is very awesome and you don't even look like you had nothing you just look so honorable handsome all over 😊 GOD Bless you always
I'm sure Gabby Petito would have something to say about leaving dangerous narcissists, if she were still alive.
😫😫😫
Besides Gabby, the 60+ girls/women who was also murdered by Ted Bundy. Narcissism is a killer!
But when they abandon their partner and then come back, they expect open arms. 😵💫It's crazy.
I got ghosted 2yrs ago by someone i deeply cared for. Well.. he called me last week acting like nothing happened. Telling me how he loves me and wants to marry me. How I'm the only woman that he ever loved. I'm Beauty to his Beast😢. The only reason I picked the call was to observe how he was gonna come at me. I asked him why he thought I would want to marry a man that could just disappear on me like that. He gave a weak ass, general apology. Keep in mind the apology was not specific and didnt answers why he ghosted. So i took the direct approach and asked what happen to him. He said he was busy building😮💨.
He's definitely not in therapy and he's definately a narcissist. That's a hard "no" for me Sir!
Awesome videos. Thank you❤
you’re welcome ♥️
Yes. They love to act like nothing happened. It is truly mind-boggling to me. Like, I get second hand embarrassment from watching them trying to do that. They literally think you are stupid enough and emotionally desperate enough to just play along with them and act like nothing happened. They pick you up and put you down like a toy or a video game joystick.
It's crazy how the jealousy seems to be the only emotion I ever see from him. He only showed what seemed like love in the very beginning. A long as he feels like you are in pain he's happy to go about his life as usual. The second you seem content, he will switch from ignoring you to the guilt trips, blame shifting, and accusing.
🙌🏾
They feed off that pain.
Run! Run like the wind!
I moved to another state 3 weeks ago. Do you know this joker had the nerve to ask me, "Do you got a friend up there?" 🥴I had to tell him...... The last thing I need right now is another person to be caught up into me while I'm still trying to focus on my healing...... I'm not him, he needs that. He has a whole relationship with someone else! This fool even asked why I left him😂...... He discarded me. Everything you said today, Lee was absolutely true!
stay strong 💪🏽
@mentalHealness
Lee, I'm 13 years into this misery. Y'all please pray for me. Truly narcissistic, manipulative, gaslighting, passive aggressive, lying, cheating, stonewalling, self-centered man who doesn't care how it's done as long as he gets his way. Most of the above terms I became aware of on your platform, Lee, as I listened to your videos, I felt like you knew this narc. It was so on point. He had me thinking that something was mentally wrong with me. He really was messing with my
mental stability. Had me questioning and second guessing my self and my sanity. Watching your videos has helped me understand that people like this do live and don't care and plan to destroy you.😢😢
🤣 Please do not stop doing the impression of narcissists whining and saying the quiet illogical mindset out loud! I seriously lmao 😂
I won’t 😂
I find that hilarious too😂😂😂😂
It was running the Subaru into the tree that got me 😂
Hilarious 😂
@@ashleyhobson1414 same! 😂
It's just amazing to me 3 yrs later after my ex narcissist discarded me and educating myself from Lee and so many other coaches that this would be such a hot discussion!! People of all ages, all races, people from every background of all walks of life have channels about narcissism on every platform!! All over the world!!! Absolutely amazing!! It's not a good thing for anyone that's non toxic to go through this but at least we're not by ourselves!!! Unless you've experienced it, you sure as hell don't know or no one would believe it happened!!
There were only a handful 11 years ago when I started looking
They are the authors of acting
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏾🙌🏾
If there's one thing I've learned about toxic people attacking after you leave, it's that you need to be trigger-happy with calling the cops. Threats, vandalism, coming to your house, threatening suicide, etc,. Even if the police do nothing, it gets you closer to a restraining order and them to a prison sentence.
🫨😫
YES be proactive! You can't act like you have a soft spot for them, your compassion comes off as weakness and they prey on the weak. Check them EVERY step of the way from the beginning, never let your foot off their necks. They usually back off once they realize you aren't joking with using force because they hate having to deal with consequences.
Yes!!!!
💯
OMG 😲....Lee you connected the dots for me. Now I know I have a Nigerian husband who is a narcissist. I'm in day 5 of blocking him. I came back to the US because I thought he had a split personality. I needed to hear this.
you got it
As someone who has a nigerian narcissistic parent, your husband is probably a narcissist
Same for one from Senegal. Very splitted my dear. A fragmented personality like a swarm of bees.... or tiny pieces. We can only interact with some pieces of them at a time. Attention swarms are capable of shape shifting. And Attention men from this culture have double lifes, multiple lifes more easily. Targets in US, Europe and their original country
Sam Vaknin argues that narcissists have multiple personalities but that would require them to have a consolidated ego/ personality in the first place and by their very nature, narcissists have no self stabilizing internal core
Regardless, I hope you continue no contact. You will be healthier for it
My ex confronted me for telling one of his friends that I wanted to get married again at a birthday party for our son. I was sitting one seat away from his second wife. He said I disrespected him. I told him he had lost his mind and never come to me with that mess again.
Wish I did what you did. But I was putting him off for so many years and don't why I went an made such awful mistake 😞
Why tell his friend? We don't talk to the friends we don't associate with anyone they associate with Period.
@@Adorabellydancer Not true. Mutual friend. Depends on circumstances. This one isn’t a flying monkey.
CHOOSE YOU OVER THEM & THEIR MANIPULATIONSHIPS 💯 BLOCKEMALL 🚫
🙏
Mine thought for sure that I was going back to my exhusband.
Wasn’t true.
And yes, he went off his rocker when I told him I was leaving.
I’m 1000 miles away now. Makes it a little tougher to come after me especially since he’s broke and would have to borrow money for the gas to get here.
Those new supplies don't have a clue what they are getting into. Smh
Never go a place you two went together best believe they will pop up
My ex narc actually said to me that if he repaid me everything he owed me, that I would then never contact him again. I can't believe he actually admitted that.
The comments section of this video is so relatable.. yes, they push you away, make it impossible for you to contact them, are terrified to/will never contact you first..
then somehow in their own minds, they later accuse * you* of "abandoning" them.. or say "idk why but i can't leave you alone".. which is ?? Bc all they've been doing is leaving you alone! [Insert the "confused black girl" meme pic here.]
After listening to the whole video.. yep.. knew a few others in the past who were dangerous stalkers, 2 of them flipped out illogically/tried to unalive me in n went to jail.
(I grew up w narcissistic parents/relatives, n thus have subconsciously attracted a lot of narcissists thruout my life,
even down to random strangers that just start following me (whether on foot or by car) on the street while I'm walking or driving, all the way to my house,
or a guy i barely knew, (who had a long-term live-in gf, btw), who literally parked his car across the street in the dark n waited for hours outside my house, without me knowing,
or a random guy that stalked me on a * plane* during a long-haul int'l flight, which * everyone* on the plane noticed/i felt humiliated cuz i was still young/in my early-20s n hated having the entire plane staring at me due to his antics, not to mention how claustrophobic n scared i felt for 12 hours straight.
or one time when (bafflingly/I dont even understand what was happening), i was shopping w my mom (as an adult), n this enormous man/well over 6 ft, dressed in bad drag, kept staring at me w horny creepy eyes/smile, n following n brushing past me persistently thruout the store, no matter how many times i moved away to a different aisle.
That was even all-the-more bizarre, bc it happened in the Midwest, well before the woke era, when u really never saw ppl like that in my hometown.
But even among non-narcissists, the "normal" guys that are attracted to me always seem to say they * knew* i was the one they are gonna marry, at first sight/they still feel convinced they're gonna marry me, to this day. And say that they feel a special connection w me that they never felt b4.
I dont know if thats just what guys say to every girl, to try to get w them. Sometimes i assume it has to be game, but other times i think maybe it's not.. bc there are always so many women who are frustrated that guys won't get serious/committed to them, even after years of dating or situationship. So.. idk.
Anyway, due to so many incidents like this in my life, my narcissistic/controlling parents became even more over-protective/controlling, to the point i wasnt allowed to go anywhere alone or do anything except stay home.
All while blaming me for "attracting crazy freaks n dangerous ppl" everywhere i go. While that may be true, i literally only mind my own business n never dress provocatively or even wear makeup. Actually/ironically, when i do make an effort to look nice, no one talks to me at all/guys get scared n can't even look at me. So, it's not that.
The thing that seems to attract narcissists, in my experience: they see you n instantly think n compliment you that you look "perfect"/ some kind of ideal of perfect beauty is met for them, then they feel like they automatically own you or something, bc they have been dreaming abt meeting someone like you for so long.
They feel like you owe them their lifelong fantasies of a "perfect" relationship/sex, w someone who looks like you.. it's all external/superficial/hollow, and also, unrealistic,
and it never occurs to them that you also will have your own values and thoughts/feelings/desires n dreams, as a human entity who is not them,
much less, it never occurs to them to even think to be interested or ask to find out what you're thinking or what you want. It's all abt them/what they want out of you, even w my own parents n relatives, who regarded me as a trophy-child, n used that to justify "protecting"/controlling me,
And anyway, ultimately both w family n in dating, narcissists will start off "adoring"/idolizing you, but increasingly feel more n more "justified" to hate/blame/punish/demonize you, bc you didnt match the mentally-immature unrealistic fantasies/expectations in their own minds. Nobody can.
but i will no longer tolerate this/i know the signs now! 💪🏻)
This is absolutely true. Go silent for freaking weeks. Then come back saying I love you, burning a whole through your face. look u dead in the eyes and tell u some bullshit.
Maybe I should pretend he's dead. Seems like that's what they do.
🙏🏽💯🙌🏾
When u said you not trying to scare us, but they will try to take u out. That needed to be said, you actually helping us know how serious it can get. When some people do videos on narcs they don't talk about how dangerous they can be. It's important that we don't leave that out.
Mine recently went silent for 3 days and came back like nothing happened then proceeded to say I was the one who didn't talk to him and he thought I was abandoning him 😅😭
He thought you were going to chase him , running up behind him, or the old reverse psychology he left and did what he wanted to do and then came back and he had to make it look like it was you
F#$k him 😆 🤣 lol
😬
I get that a lot. He barely talks to me he will be on phone if I’m at work or he at work barely says word like he just wants to listen what I’m doing. Yet he chat and laugh with others. If I don’t call him through out the day he sarcastically be like oh you busy you too busy for me. I say your at work today I don’t no when you get a break so call me. He doesn’t then complains I’m ignoring. I’m like you didn’t call me either. Does that mean you don’t care. He can’t answer
@@keishamc5228That is literally it.
Well, this is what the narc I dealt with is doing with his brand spanking new supply. It’s gon be hard for her to leave living together, car club together…. He probably feels suffocated but she probably feels DEAD by now. Poor woman does not know what she got herself into. But so thankful for her. She’s got her own lessons to learn
Being thankful for the new supply is priceless!!!!!👍🏾👏🏽
🙌🏾🙏🏽
I grey rocked & eventually went no contact with a narcissist woman friend. I found that to be the safest way to get out of the friendship. Of course she got mad, blew up, accused me of ghosting her & projected things she did on me, but my safety & peace of mind comes first. When the accusations and & argument from them comes, DO NOT engage. If you must, be stoic, keep it to the point, do not get emotional, but most importantly stand your ground. Forgive them but keep them out of your life/circle. Some are highly dangerous to themselves & others.
Had to get a restraining order because whenever he FELT like saying we were together he would NOT leave me alone.
stay safe
5:36 - 6:13 is so on point.. as well as 7:53 - 8:17.. i recall several narcissists ive known (guys, relatives, etc) who said, "ok well how does this benefit * me*?".. w 0 self-awareness of how selfish n inappropriate it was to ask that.
Even for the ones who lack the capacity to consciously form that sentiment into words, ive noticed that this is always their internal driving force/motivation n thought process, in life: "ok but how does this benefit * me*?"
💯🙏🏽
Not “if you don’t answer in a minute and a half”🤣🤣🤣 Just simply the truth‼️
The narcissist projects so much of they're own emotions on to u that when they abandon you it can feel similar because of how much u tolerated and given
💯💯
My narcissistic sister told her boyfriend of almost 18 yrs. to leave after he refused to sign over his property to her. Now she's telling him he abandoned her and has been showing her a$$ by crying, calling and texting him, showing up at his house, taking her car to the garage of where he works. And the crazy thing is that she's had a side guy for the last year they were together. About a month after they broke up I started sending him all kinds of videos on narcissism and it's really helped him stay strong and see who and what she is. My nephew, his wife and I have created our own support group including her exboyfriend and it's helped us all tremendously! Thank you so much for all that you do!🙏🙏🙏✌💜
My brother ticks every single box to be a narcissist & I didn't realise just how much he was exploiting me until I got a boyfriend & saw him trying to exploit him too. He would make it impossible to hold self respect without disrespecting my brother so that he could throw him out. As I started to realise I started to say no to him & then I really found out how little he cares. I have him & his wife a home to live in with me & when I started to say no I soon became homeless.
Love the ending comment about time being wasted and how it differs for the narcissist and the victim/target. Once again, so insightful.
you got it
I had to get a TPO … he violated so many times and he wracked up charges. It was ridiculous 😢
Me too , I had racked up so much proof the judge made it permanent
Have to protect yourself
Did they arrest him for the violations?
What he speaks of is so true. Once I decided to divorce the narcissist I was married too, he made it his business to vandalize my car, I mean he destroyed it (denies it to this day), and bullied me harshly. Then turned his whole family against me when I divorced him. To this day his family blames me for the divorce not even realizing this fool is a whole narcissist
😫
Ehh they are all narcissistic too. Narc travel in packs. They wouldn't believe the truth even if they knew it. They breed their own kind.
I think that is what I fell for while married, I invested in a second home and business. She did it to keep me around. Once the business venture failed, she bailed out. It’s real folks.
This sounds like Narcissist's enjoy utilizing the use of "Emotional Blackmail".
🎯
"Bro you're married! What the hell you talking about?!"🤣😂
😆
My ex broke up with me return to his ex but followed me around..he popped up at my job,my house and places I shop...soon as he realized I was moving on he faked a heart attack.he called my sister to meet him at the hospital.my sister called me and I'm like girl ignore him...he begged and pleaded with to work things out and then he dumped me a week later for moving on with someone else..it was so confusing.he didn't want to talk about returning to his ex. He only pointed out that I moved on after the 💔 break...
😫😫😫
I refuse to even try and start another relationship with someone else. I know he will sabotage it. And it's not fair for someone else to have try and deal with that shit
Thank you so much for talking about this stuff honestly I didn't think a narcacist could get better im glad you did
They don't I have a theory but don't want I try and debunk Lee he is doing great. Often people are raised by narcs they act like a narcissist but that doesn't mean they are entirely a narc. Narcs don't change or get better ever. Don't ever think they do.
Oh Lee, this is the explaination I was looking for since 2019!!!
I feel relief, thankfulness and appreciation for this revelation! You are explaining me the right thing, the mindset behind this unfair & unreasonable accusation! I was the one who even protected his trauma of abondonment, to give him a safe experience, a safe space to allow real love to happen. I didn't want to break up even when he started to distancing himself from me to focus elsewhere, started to starve me emotionally ... had lesser & lesser time to meet ... I felt like in the middle of the desert missing our love like a oasis, missing him like the rain ... I told him I feel disconnection from his sight. He literally said:"DISTANCE NO EXIST" and "Everything is okay between us" .... took time to realize that is a mirage .... I have to find the way back to a place where I can exist, where I will be safe & secure. But I didn't want to reactivate his trauma of abondonment that happened as a child AND as an adult (Hard rejection, hard losses).
Finally when I saw him going so far manipulating me in a stupid way to get a iPhone to organize his new target(s) in an easier way (his fuel matrix I guess ) and demanded that I should to pay for that (what a heartless and outlandish demand !) I made the hard decision to remove myself from this situation, recognizing that this is a mirage ... a manipulation .... this B-movie = is the wrong film! I decided to standup and refuse to watch this film and to act on that no more. I decided not to play his game. And he was ACTIVATED and accused me the same way You tell us, Lee. YOU ACTUALLY SAVE MY HEART & SOUL.
I confirm your warning.
I felt it became soooo dangerous for me. My safety system was on high alert (I am not the anxious type. I am a fighter, a soldier.) and I felt that way only in life danger, in a war zone. I can trust my instincts. I instantly knew: This person is highly dangerous when I decide not to follow his demands, not believing his lies & his stories (pitty play) not giving in, not forgetting what our clear appointments was and not letting him disrespecting this, not accepting covert now obvious abuse in any shape or form, and finally removing myself from his games.
I wish I would have been not alone with this heartbreaking decision. Found the support I missed here in your video 4 years after my lonesome decision that felt extremely hurtful for myself but necessary at the same time to rescue myself. My inner radar for danger told me: NEVER try to contact, connect and explain your decision 1 on 1 to this kind of person ‼️ My inner radar warned me:"Stay away ! Get out & stay out! Hold your ground, even when the guilt tripping and occurring self doubts almost kill you - just hold your ground. You are not to blame! You was all in and all you've done was from a kind pure heart. YOU are the Sincere one, the One who was manipulated into saving him and than betrayed in multiple ways and left behind, not him❗ "
Good afternoon everyone 😊
👋
So true. Stay safe, sooo dangerous
I'm just now waking up from this nightmare after 20 yrs dealing with my ex- narcissist. I'm still not out of the house but will be very soon! I met him when I was 18 him 30 and I'm now 40 and him 51 and he's still at it! I honestly can't believe I stayed for so many years and would allow someone to treat me like he has. Cross your fingers for me you all cause my move is coming by the beginning of the month and I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm so damn scared! ❤
I totally hear you.
I was going to just escape quietly after 5 years but was advised to get a restraining order.
I wanted to blow up the cycle of abuse, not be tempted to go back and feel protected.
The ‘authorities’ just don’t get it (as it’s mostly psychological abuse) and have made the situation even worse.
I saw him more after the provisional restraining order than before it was in place.
No one else wants to get involved to help as a witness/character reference.
I’m going to keep on keeping on but the anxiety I feel, when I see him is overwhelming. I have never suffered from that before.
When he was in breech for parking near my apartment, the police said; it’s just a coincidence (he lives a 40 min drive away)
Stay strong. Sending love from Spain.
Praying for you.
He left us and I still feel as if he felt abandoned. He stalked me. Threaten to unalive me. All the while, his own health is declining rapidly. It's disheartening. Better than any revenge I'd ever thought of was karma lighting his behind up.
yes, good actors...ice cold in reality...always me, me,me and me again.Always an excuse for their bad behaviour...no thanks.Boundaries on point!
💯🙏🏽
Games, Gaming, and playing a Human Being for a fool is a straight up foreign concept for some of us. The truth is to terrible to believe, yet finally we got it.
You’re hitting every point, hits home!
The fake crying is my favorite 😅 so true
I am looking forward to your video you mentioned about leaving safely. I definitely would appreciate this. Thank you in advance!
You’re welcome
What you said in this clip, happened to me, exactly word by word. After giving her so many chances, when we finally broke up she was with someone else straight away while were still living together and she was bringing him home and sleeping with him while I'm still living in the same house. Ofcourse my ego was hurt but at the same time I said to myself good luck to you my friend, she is your problem now.
When we broke up she said the same thing to me what you once said, that when you give them a chance in their mind they think that you're ok with it, she told me exactly that "since you stayed with me than it wasn't that bad". Luckily this story happened like over 20yrs ago, I was very young and naive, and ironically, she sent me a fb request during the pandemic as soon as I recognised who she was I deleted it without thinking twice.
Lee, your rendition of the dire phone call, is spot on... now I can laugh. While I was in it, I was sure I was doi g such a bad thing to him!! By choosing me. Wow
One week NC taday 🎉 Lee, the way you act out these scenarios has got me hollering lol 😅😂
😆 stay strong
❤
Thank you for this content and having the courage to work on yourself. I appreciate your insight into narcissist behaviors.
you’re welcome
Whew!!!! You just hit on everything I have just realized on my own.
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I'm cracking up laughing because its so true..."you have to be leaving me for someone else".....LMAO.....This topic makes me so anxious, I am sweating. I KNOW he is going to be stalking, he would never hurt me...but he blatantly tells me he drives by..started asking if someone is living with me...LMAO.....That's what happened..LMAO...he left me for someone after 9 yrs & after she dumped him, he THOUGHT I would be sitting here waiting...LMAO.....I haven't even moved on but that was the first thing he said...I must have someone else...LMAO...Protecting my peace, I told him I would call him in 6 months, like he left me hanging for 6 months & if he was unreachable it is what it is...Thanks for describing him to a "T".
Hi Lee, yes - the shame drives them insane 😡😡😡 plan as if it's a physically violent situation, the loss of you can put you in a very real life or death situation. ***Be Safe*** Plan Quietly Change & Hide all bank, passwords, phones, any which way they can put agony in your life, it's been planned. They were never going to stay and never going to be right. ❤❤❤ Great video! Pam from Detroit aka "panels" wainio lol😅
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Just started tuning into you. So appreciative and MUCH RESPECT sir. You’re the poster child for personal growth and transparency. 😎
I just became what I was accused of. I blocked him and no contact, and went ahead and became the user, cheater, and "liar with zero integrity!" I am in his HEAD. 😂 I let him be the victim he NEEDED to be. Victim narc.
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I did the exact same thing i was accused of cheating so much that when i left i became the person she throught all along when she confonted me i siad why do you care we not together i tod her to get out my dm but she had to embarss me because she think i embrassed her so i let her win she can be victim 😂 i basicay gaslighted my way out of the arugment when she was done with convo she made sure to make it seem like the relationship was over because she dumpedme bit i actually dumped her 😂
My spouse has accused me of being a narcissist . I have definitely used the word abandon because we’ve been though multiple breakups initiated by him. I really started to believe I was a narcissist but after watching this….😂 I have never done none of this. I accept his decision, let him know I still want to fix things, and then I just move on with my life. I’m still searching to see what ways I’m narcissistic so I can work on myself and be better for my next relationship. Being accused of narcissism is hurtful and is definitely making me feel shameful and horrible
I also was accused of being one im going to see what i could approve on i mean i laugh at her many times because i felt like she was really paranoid and tod that to her face and then bam she called me a narc idk im still so confused
10:20-10:27, that’s not toxic😑 it makes lots of sense. When someone makes me feel like I’m abandoned, I make sure they suffer, because it’s all their fault. When someone gets into a relationship with me, if they obey me, respect me, stay loyal to me, validate me, give me all of their attention, time, and energy than I won’t feel abandoned, and everything should be ok 😌. I’m not being toxic or a narcissist, it’s just that I deserve respect and everything from them, because I do so much for people, and they couldn’t live without me 😌🙏🏽
Buckle up is the word! Oh god. This is so awful. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone. Wtf is this. It's been two years of non stop bullying
“…run my Subaru into a tree” 😂😂😂😂
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I hear you and yes it makes no sense
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I Love My Freedom And My Peace So Glad Those Days Are Over 😊
Funny when you catch the Narc n put up boundaries n they ask who taught you this n you say RUclips n the Narc says who on RUclips teaching you this😅 now I got a keep my safe place safe
Thank you for your videos , you have helped our son to survive his narcissist .
They act like they care....I'm just being myself....
Thank you for the awareness and validation for victims of npd abuse
you’re welcome
Narcs want to hurt you, not themselves.
Heard the harm myself statement...me: " i hope u got insurance buddy"
I want to say that I am NOT suicidal nor will I ever "just walk away" from my kids or grandbabies!! I got a real scary feeling the other day at my Mother in Laws funeral. My husband has been employed by the same company for 20yrs & I pretty much know all of his co-workers, or at least the names of all of them. So, 3 of his co-workers came to the funeral but one of them I've never seen nor heard any mention-ever-of this guy & my narc was realll sketchy about who this joker was. None of it made sense. Mind you, we've been married 30yrs so it's not like I'm just an insecure, clueless newlywed. Something was very off putting about the whole situation & tbh, I'm a little scared. A lot scared actually.
protect yourself
@@MentalHealness I wish I knew how. He's managed to alienate me from our kids & my mom's a narc too, so I've been no contact with her for almost 2 years. I have no support system & no where to go bc of finances. I hope I'm just overreacting. Thank you for replying
I went through 10 years of a marriege with a narcissist and he followed me, won custody of our child, and made my life miserable for the next maybe 10 years. He died last year. It is over.
He popped up ar my job, trying to getting me fired (he even told me his intentions). At home everywhere. He was a nightmare.
You're right! My ex husband, when I broke up with him, he put something into my wine,broke some personal stuff and tried to break into my computer. As I realised he tried to, he got scared he could be discovered and told me about the wine. So, luckily I didn't drink it.
Yes! Our last convo the other day, he accused me again of having someone else bc i left, im like seriously?!? No its bc you treated me like crap and cheated the whole time. I actually think i mightve been the side chick even though he practically lived with me... idk.. i found out the other chick was financial providing for him... just all hurtful and traumatizing what went on. But his conclusion... "i know you got someone thats why you left me. You never loved me"
I didn't know Narcs had feelings
Surprise
For themselves!!!
It’s going to come to me kicking him out and I’m dreading it. Since he will never except blame for why …I will be called names and badgered …it’s coming …he’s become verbally abusive regularly …he needs to go.
Let it go it only gets worse, when that stared with my husband I should've left then and it only got worse
Mine threatened to leave 2 days ago. We haven't spoken. He's still here. WTF?
@@lxraycatmaui2884 sounds so familiar...I know now the silent treatment you have to give the silent treatment back
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Literally my kids dad! He did me so dirty and I left. He has the audacity to be running around here like a tyrant as if I did something to him. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around this mess
Keep going.. he wont change. Am also a victim..we have 4 kids togather.
Been there.... no more
I left ...It has been a year...He has left me alone except to ask me last year when I would get the stuff I left behind.....that was all.....I was the one who put up with many, many silent treatments, drinking, drugs, and passive aggressive behaviors....Was he waiting for me to come back begging? as his ego was too large to ever beg me to come back.
You are no longer a good supply for him and he knows that you are aware now of all his BS. He has other sources of supply, you are too challenging for him! And he knows that you are done
I experience all that you talking about so true
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Lol “feels like?” I mean we didn’t give them enough chances to be decent? 🤣🤣
My first narc used to threat to un-alive me, him and out daugther…. He was physically abusive as well when I would break up with him when I would find out about him cheating so he actually held on to me for a while because of the fear of leaving him. They are usually very weak and usually are saying it to scare you. But it depends on how stable they are…
She literally had a new guy already and got all mad and red when she saw me when a diff girl
Well explained
Thank you
These videos are powerful
Whats it called when they want you to open up but they don't open up themselves? 🤔
Hypocrisy! And they good at it. One of their few talents 🤣👎🏻
True benefits only themselves. Right getting back with them ure dead, and/or mentally unstable periodtt
You are really good at this.
This is scary. I need a plan. I live alone with my son. I currently have two narcissistic men acting crazy, Stalking and even burglarized my home. One when I was 16 yrs old before I knew what a narcissist was and my on and off boyfriend. I need to leave 😫 my home and relocate is the only solution. To eventually find me again.
This is scary 9:30 !
So true!! Thank you!
You’re welcome
@@MentalHealness
Hapoy Birthay ❤
Psalm 36, 3-10 🙏📖⚘