Why Opposite-Sex Friends Lead To Marital Distress
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- Relationship Boundaries | Opposite Sex Friends
This is one of the many reasons opposite sex friends usually ends badly if pursued in one-to-one settings.
If you’re coupled, hang out with your single friends together & prioritize same sex friends.
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Very wise, very true. This will go over the head of many people soaked in modern politically correct western culture. The issue with having these relationships while married has nothing to do with increasing risk of physical cheating (which is what a lot of people frame it as). It has to do with the vulnerability that you are keeping from your spouse to feed into another person who is essentially playing the role of a pseudo-spouse. This damages emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and full surrender as you so aptly called it in your relationship. A deep intimate emotional bond with a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse or a blood family member will damage your marriage, best to change the dynamic of the friendship so as to be fully present in your marriage.
Yes 🙏🏽
Before you jump in to say “evolved people can have friends of the opposite sex…”
Most people who endorse spending 1-1 time with opposite sex friends have this very problem I’m talking about in this video. Are you one of them? If so, work towards integration & more vulnerability with your spouse or partner.
Amazing this even has to be explained and even more so that someone would argue with this point.
I'm beyond relieved to see a woman saying this because modern women have accused me of being insecure, controlling, abusive, possessive, jealous, etc. for holding this viewpoint
It’s a lack of awareness and foresight. And potentially due to lack of experience in relationships. They compartmentalize the relationship without acknowledging human nature. We are social beings but understanding our nature we should understand the emotions that develops in these relationships. Yes it’s innocent to one but you give a piece of yourself to that person emotionally and you are emotionally drained now to give to your primary spouse. Guys please stop with the we are just friends BS. You’re acquaintances and if your spouse is uneasy about it it’s not for no reason. They are the third party observing the behavior that they themselves so yearn to have with you and they are deprived that intimacy. That’s why you have forsake all others in marriage vows. Your spouse should be or become your best friend and safe person to be vulnerable with. They should be the only one to see the nakedness and all the f’d up things you bring both of you. 90% of opposite sex males only want to be friends with female in the hopes her primary best friend f’d up. And he’s going to be there to comfort her. Some females do the same but us guys know this natural truth and we want to protect our relationship from predators who prey on married women.
So thoroughly and well explained. I'm too old to apply this, but am definitely subscribing.
I appreciate that! Thank you, Christopher🙏🏽
Brilliant summation. I am dealing with this issue in my own heart with a woman I have fallen in love with who has a male childhood friend. And I struggle with whether or not I am being fair. Still in the early stages. If I am included and given the opp to be friends as well, maybe. But Im even skeptical of that. I can tell they care for each other. And I have trouble processing that.
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Dr. Taylor Burrowes, thank you for the content! Do you think it’s reasonable to be very upset if in the late evening your spouse is to attend 5 nights a week an extra curricular activity that involves a community in a martial arts hobby where the head leader, instructor/ teacher, grand master is a past intimate partner with your spouse prior to your marriage? Is it problematic that your spouse continues to attend though you’ve expressed your pain knowing they’d be be upset if the roles were reversed?
Of course it’s problematic. If they dismiss your concerns you don’t have trust, respect or alignment of boundaries/values. Doesn’t sound like you’re compatible if you can’t get on the same page.
@@DrTaylorBurrowes I really appreciate it, Dr. Taylor Burrowes. Hopefully we can get on the same page. Thank you.
@@DrTaylorBurrowes Would the continuation of something so bothersome be considered covert emotional abuse?
Here is my viewpoint. I have been a good friend with one girl who does have boy friend. I actually think that western world culture is a bit upside down. It is better that we can have many friends to widen our perspective and health. And also be friendly with different age groups (think about the elders - where younger learn from elders AND elders learn from younger generation). The idea that sex has anything to do with opposite sex friends is a sign of our cultural push to push sex into marketing products and a very unhealthy propaganda of immoral sex portrayal all over the media and movies so on (learn by example). For me I actually don't like sex though I like everything else like holding hands and kissing and cuddling - but I am a 1 girl only guy. So in my opinion, if you have your morals correct (natural, objective morals - not man made morals) then this will help all of us become properly connected as a whole and not all separated.
It’s possible to be friends with the opposite sex as long as they respect your spouse and your boundaries are healthy.
and it seems like the friend should be integrated into the marriage, where the spouse gets to know them well and all three people spend time together. @@DrTaylorBurrowes