Why Opposite Sex Friends MAY Be Dangerous
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2017
- Call/Text For Help Now 678-200-8996. Are You In Crisis? Are You Considering Divorce? Have You Experienced An Affair? We Are Here To Help! Couples Academy is a relationship-based private practice that focuses Affair Recovery and Divorce Prevention.
DO THESE THINGS…
THE MOVING FORWARD PROGRAM
couplesacademy.lpages.co/movi...
SEX AFTER BETRAYAL MASTERCLASS
couplesacademy.kartra.com/pag...
SCHEDULE A FREE 15 MINUTE DISCOVERY SESSION NOW
couplesacademy.intakeq.com/bo...
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OUR 3-DAY PRIVATE MARRIAGE INTENSIVE
www.couplesacademy.org/privat...
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT OUR GROUP MARRIAGE INTENSIVE
www.couplesacademy.org/last-c...
THE MOVING FORWARD PROGRAM
couplesacademy.lpages.co/movi...
WATCH WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
• COUPLES ACADEMY TESTIM...
REGISTER FOR THE AUDACITY OF MARRIAGE CONFERENCE
couplesacademy.org/audacityofm...
BUY PRODUCTS, CLASSES AND ASSESSMENTS HERE
www.couplesacademy.org/eshop-...
This happened in my marriage...My wife allowed her ex boyfriend to call her after we got married. She even invited him to our wedding, and she went to his wedding. They called each other off and on during the first two years of our marriage. He called the house one day, and responded to a statement of mine by saying " Oh, I know how to handle her"....It didn't sit right with me. After a conversation later in our marriage, my wife sent him an email, stating that it was not a good idea to keep the friendship. He responded, that it was okay and they could still be friends.I read the email, and rebuked him and stated not to contact my wife ever again.I wish my wife could hear this guy's message. It's not jealousy or insecurity, its called discernment....
After 15 years of marriage, I feel more and more happy that I stood up as a man....I didn't even care if my wife left me over it.....Its stupid for any spouse to tolerate friends of the opposite sex with their (Spouse) approval.Nothing extreme on my end....However, men understand men, and women understand women.Keep members of the opposite sex at bay, in a Godly way.
Yes! I like that... it's not jealousy or insecurity, it's DISCERNMENT. You actually protected yourself from unnecessary hurt in the future.
@@westgate5449 What happened? He stopped contact?
Just reading your story makes me feel like my husband was the other man to your story. He did the same thing with his ex-girlfriend and we both went to each other's wedding. But an affair took place. You made the right decision by cutting it off before the marriage vows were broken. Stay blessed
If the other person doesn't take head of your rebuking, then the next step could possibly be physical. If I tell another man to stay away from my wife in all manners and forms and he ignores me, his physical well being is now in jeopardy.
This makes sense. The Bible even says be careful for no reason. Sad thing is people will look for all kinds of reasons to criticize this video to keep doing whatever they are doing outside of their relationships, with their so called friend. Times have changed. This is a hot topic. God, Himself said He is jealous. He doesn’t want to share...
Well said & spot on! God bless you!
The world viewpoint will call you insecure, controlling, abusive, possessive, jealous, etc. any other label you could think of because you don't trust those opposite sex "friends" - In a Christian marriage the two become one flesh - opposite sex "friends" is dangerous disasterous territory and a complete betrayal and disrespect to your spouse! Don't let it happen!
Yeah my ex had a female “bestfriend” whom he never wanted to talk to in front of me when she called. His excuse for that was that she has no filter. I immediately lost trust and the relationship went down hill from there.
Wow!
I wouldnt trust either
@@gulinkoklu9962 You can’t trust nobody out here
There is something about all relationships that attracts us. Truuuueee
I've been married for 36 years and I believe this. If I tell another man to stay away from my wife in all manner, shape, fashion and form and he ignores me, his physical well being could possibly now be in jeopardy.
Looking forward to when my friend who is a girl gets married to someone then
My situation now he lied about it. Twice!
😂😂😂😂😂
I agree too with you.
Amen...good man.
Most people don’t want to admit this
Dora Argy with most people you mean woman right?😂
@@prod.bydiegocorleone It's men too. My boyfriend will not understand!!! He's so stubborn and believes that this is untrue.
Lilianna Velez no no no sweetie! Those are boys! Not men!
Yeah some, I agree.
@ Diego Uchiha- I agree.
God redirected me to this video literally. I completely am glad at this perception exist elsewhere and just not in my heart. This truth feels safe to the heart absolutely.
What does God mean to you?
@@dasein9980 Everything that is
I may be one of the only people who don't like to Dibble dabble back with an ex or an old lover. Its a "been there, done that" kind of thing with me. If you were so good, It wouldn't have ended. Id rather take that time for new experiences with new people.
My wife and her sister married within months of each other and were all married over 45 years. My wife's sister passed away about a year ago from cancer. Our former brother-in-law is constantly contacting my wife to go to lunch or other things without contacting me. I think he needs to be treated like an old friend of the opposite sex. My wife wants to continue to treat him like family.
I know that everyone has a Love Language, and if you spend time alone with anyone over a period of time, you will eventually communicate with them in their Love Language.
My solution is to only interact with him as a couple. Any one-on-one time is unwise.
I would handle that the exact same as you. Wise.
Instead of reevaluating and severing friendships why start them at all once your married, make your spouse that special someone that u share everything with, why start a fire and then get burnt, " a smart person looks towards the future and thinks of his actions before he does them." :Ethics of the father.
"FORSAKING ALL OTHERS"
When we say "forsaking all others," it doesn't only mean not giving any room for another person to intrude, manipulate, divert or destroy our marriage. It also means letting go of our own comforts so that we could bless our spouse and help the latter fulfill personal dreams and become more like Christ. And while doing that, we become more like Christ ourselves.
I've had relationships and been married and this kind of thing was prevalent. I'm glad that I'm no longer looking over my shoulder at someone who was constantly looking for an emotional affair. Several times i had to express my disapproval with my then wife. After many years i started to wilt and just accepted that this person didn't care. It was at this point when one of these friends became a genuine affair.
Social media has utterly and completely decimated and entire generation's concept of healthy relationships and standards therein. I had an ongoing argument with an ex who couldn't bear to "part" with a "friend" whom she had "met" in a chat room 20 years ago, who physically dwells across the country, whom she had never actually seen in person. It was obvious to me that the guy was sprung on her, but she says that they had never met because it was never "convenient". True friendship is never always convenient, it takes effort and application. She saw this as harmless, I see it as a dangerous fantasy with potential for a tragic outcome in reality. It's as old as human history and now it's gone digital, but there is nothing new under the sun. By the way, texting with him on dates with me was nothing short of disrespectful. Being polite to the wait staff is NOT the same as being polite to your phone, which is only a conduit and NOT an actual person present, nor invited.
I came here after my wife just brought up her male friend out of the clear blue sky. She seems to be very close with him..something is fishy and I dont quite know what it is but its awkward and weird.
Trust your intuition
You basically said everything I've just went through. Couldn't agree more.
I found this video bc I was trying to discern what this girl's intentions were. I just met her yesterday at work, kicked off a convo on games, got her number. We played games for an hour or so and I invited her to play at my place. She didn't tell me she had a bf until then but still went with it. I grew up thinking something along these lines is not okay. Suspicious. Thanks for the informative video and I look forward to watching more to better myself for my next relationship.
Bro, same! This girl was all flirty with me, chasing and asking for my steam/social media when the whole time she also had a bf! Why do they act like they are still single when in a committed relationship? Dude ended up dumping her ass and she has no idea why.
Perfectly Well said!!!!!!!
Nothing but FACTS!!!
So good, thank you God Bless😊
Great advice!
Omg so true this happened to me with a married coworker
Just loved it
Great video
You're amazing sir
This guy is totally correct. Attraction which begins with a connection can be dangerous.
ExCeLlEnT!
I was once niave and this topic I was niave of basicly really fucked me up. I hate to say it but I tried being open minded and found I got a really raw deal. I honestly wish I would have been more aware and or someone had told me I was fucking up..sad thing is I always instinctively knew all this but was under the impression I was being insecure,jealous and insane. But honestly I was actually right and knew I shouldn't put up with it. Shits pretty sad how deceitful and compulsively delusional some women and men are with other peoples lives. Really embarressed and ashamed of Myself for being so obtuse.
Says alot about society and human nature that there are so many issues and problems and we cant just be decent to one another.
Probably not the best excuse but we will literally put ourselves through a lot and blind ourselves in the name of “love” or “wanting to be in a relationship”
This is what my dad Always told me. And it’s 100% true. This is why I don’t have male friends
This is soooo hard man
Well stated
this was in my recommendations
very very very very true
This was the one
PREACH!!!!!
Such bond can also be one of the best bonds to exist. 2 of these are that are better able to help each other for getting a partner. Another one is the fact that each can educate, explain the other about matters that cant be felt/experienced, can answer the other about things that no one would just readily share with a simple friend of the opposite gender!
It is sick and crazy that so many men can only look at women in the romantic sense.
Just saw a Facebook post from a married Christian male friend with 3 kids who posted about his one-on-one lunch date with a female friend. I just don't understand how he could be so careless. He's not even hiding it--just acting like this is completely normal.
Wonder what his wife thinks about that
My boyfriend got 6 close female friends but never met any of them
Let him go honey, I just confronted a guy who said he has "good and genuine female friendships". He's 35 yo and couldn't explain what happens if he or them start to develop feelings, he even said he'd have them when he gets married. So it just dawned on me that he uses "friendship" to connect to women and avoid any type of commitment to them. Mind you, he doesn't post these female friends online neither have I heard him speak about them. What he does is he deals with each female in isolation and he gets flirty with you and acts like a supportive friend until you fall in love with him and open your legs.
You bout to have a rude awakeing lol
Ask to meet them and see what he says…
@@gemsxjourneyx196 lol that was 2 years ago he’s a past
Unfortunately such bonds are quite rare! I'm very glad and also quite proud of myself that I'm among the minority that are in this category of men!
Yup.
I've made comments to this extent on other videos. I immediately get blasted as insecure, having trust issues, old fashioned, abusive, etc.
I just experienced the same stuff with my ex.
Thnk u so much for this video 🥰🥰🥰 at least now I know that I am not "a person with little brain" according to my husband's lady friend (married to a womanizer) who doesn't want to cut ties with my husband even though I told her that he accidentally called up her name during our intimate moment. She even said in front of me that if I will not let my husband go out with their circle of friends, she'd make another male friend help him scape.
The world is so fd up to the point rationality become bad thing
If you are married and tell your husband you are no longer interested in having sex for the next five years, and after that he gets together with his high school sweetheart. You may need to look in the mirror to know why.
Maybe she just doesn't want to have sex with the husband....
@@Purple_911 Then maybe she is pushing her husband to cheat on her or divorce her or both.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 good then she will be free to go find someone who knows what they're doing.
@@Purple_911 perhaps she is the one who doesn't know what she is doing.. But we do agree that anyone (man or woman) who is not willing to have sex with their partner should have zero expectations of fidelity. Why expect loyalty from your spouse when you are selfish and not loyal to him/her? You don't have to cheat to be disloyal to a spouse, you simply have to put your own desires above their needs.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 maybe he is watching too much porn and his expectations if his wife are unattainable. Im sure if those men stared at the male pornstara instead of the women for once they would see that they aren't the worlds best lover like they think they are either.
Women have more needs emotionally than men. Some are required in order for her mind to allow her body to get turned on.. if he can't tune into her, then she won't be able to let her guard down in bed and be the type of lover he wants her to be.
If the person is truly your friend there shouldn't be an issue because you would know that the friendship is secondary to their primary relationship. I don't message my male friend late at night. I created a chat with me him and his girlfriend so when I messaging to make arrangements or just sending a greeting they'll both see. I'm the friend not a girlfriend. You act accordingly and there can be no issues. Don't push up yourself to the person or interact like you trying to do something more. Let the couple have their own space. Do activities where all parties can be included. Sometimes he don't hear or see me for weeks. Life gets busy sometimes. But we're still friends.And I think he knows me well enough to know if he come around with any nonsense talk I would bawl him out cause I don't deal with that kind of foolishness. I'm their child's god mother so I make the effort to visit ever so often.
So what does it mean when they both don’t include you then? They don’t call or talk around you? When she’s always sending pics of herself and him Togother and all that?
@@rhiannonmcgee6406that’s not a good sign because there is a level of secrecy. Any same sex friend to your significant other MUST also be your friend and there must be full transparency, all of you need to be friends, otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster.
Exactly! The people that live and die on this hill truly need to deal with the fact that they or their spouse lack self control and weren’t friends to begin with. The second you’re my friend that’s it we’re friends.
My best friend of 30 months ears was love bombing my wife and I had to end my 30 year friendship, he gone !
You can stay platonic as long as you NEVER get physically close, private, or in secret from your significant other.
Some form of attraction
Commonality
I'm a lesbian and my best friend is named Louis ❤ Louis if you are reading this (for some strange reason) hello
Marshall Hunt yep am reading this ,loll ur wired ...
Hey Louis lol just messing with ya
Lol. Just because someone is gay, lesbian and the other is straight, does not mean that intimacy can't ever follow..
Husband won’t stop with “ His Friend” divorcing now because if it. She was a secret that I discovered. He chose that relationship over our 20 year marriage.
If its his cousin it makes it more differcult for me to get upset. They spent sleepovers together in her bedroom after nights out...before he met me. She texts him all the time. Invites him out, makes no effort with me...he talks about her all the time and is always sat alone with her at every family party. What do u think of this should i be worried? She cried when he met me saying she wasnt his bestfriend anymore ⚠️🇲🇦🇲🇦 red flags. Cause its his "cousin" its ok to act like this obsessed with my boyfriend?
LeleBedazzle Lele You don’t address whether or not you are married. If he is your significant other, there is great cause for concern and it has very little to do with her gender. His relationship with her takes priority over yours which causes me to pause. BTW he could be emotionally attached knowing that it would be physical if they were not related. An emotional attachment above ones significant other is out of line!
Address it calmly with facts, if he discards your feelings, becomes defensive or justifies it you have two choices accept being second in his life or leave. There is no middle ground. I wish you the best.
Yeah just remember cousins can marry in other parts of the world.
I know i am 1 year earliy but you think your man gonna sweet home Alabama his cousin?!
Only thing about the opposite gender friendship is the lack of control on the mans behalf should HE develop a physical attraction to his female friend.
Not sure what you mean. The woman can also lack self control.
@@Falcon-um7vo they both can
@@dutchball7119 That's what I said.
Oké so
How do you respond to a situation when you see that your spouse is involved with someone else of the opposite sex spiritually?
still be careful, you never know deceptive people can be, even if thats a saint
Ware can I see this video in full length.?
They are dangerous..
See
NOOOOOOOOOO
MAY? So you mean a girl i know since kindergarten and now we been friend for a decade could be dangerous to me?
FazOreoCuber 3215 yes it’s called emotional attachment and it can be dangerous for someone who chose to devote themselves to u for the rest of their life
If that's the case, I don't want a relationship.
I don't really understand this too. For my case, it's not all that bad. I used to have feelings for my friend and they died down. Our 1st year since meeting (on Instagram), we were always friends and I'll keep it that way. I don't want to pursue a relationship; it takes time. In my case, it isn't dangerous. Having a friendship with the opposite sex isn't always bad.
@@lordreyna6924 not to mention it wouldn't be fair for their S/O lol
Could be yes. You have an emotional attachment there which will always complicate relationships.
But there is ways to remove the danger. In friendships like you describe if you include your partner entirely into the friendship you might make it safe enough, but it also depends on your integrity and openness. The second you start putting that friend over your partner though is the second you begin to betray your partner and one of the relationships should be ended or it will become toxic.
What are those 19 signs ?
My husband goes out to eat with women from work he says they just work friends
Keep your eyes on that. This happened to me not a husband he would hide going out with her I found out on social media.
Red flag!!!
Just go with them, if it's a friendship they should be okay with going with you.
How are you guys ?
This is a conversation that needs to be had very early in Christian dating/courtship pursuing marriage - opposite sex friends are dangerous territory!
I just got rid of the 2 morons for flirting with my Wife 1 in. June 2019 & March 2020 respectively. Saving up for a Glock & a Taurus PT92 for more protection. Thanks & God bless everyone!
My man, tbh, are you sure she did not flirt back? That is a big thing to know imo
@@alexrehak5564 no Sir my Wife told me about them. That's why I'm there because the other moron always want to corner her & get a hug while smelling her perfume. When I'm around he goes away. Now his completely out of a job & the gym permanently closed. We live far North while he lives far South. My wife let's me hold her phone without my asking. And she let's me answer her calls & text. I'm her Secretary when it comes to typing & replying. Thank you very much for the concern Sir.
@@DynamiteKid1224 lucky man then, wish you all the best
@@alexrehak5564 thanks Sir. Here's an update. She told me & her friends last Christmas that she doesn't want to go to the gym anymore but plans to workout with only at home. So I'm very happy with her decision! 💕😍💗 Keep safe & God bless you Sir! Thanks for the complement.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
Also, a lot of people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So to a lot of people, sex isn't really a thing about romance.
I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse. Also, you are more likely be much more closer to someone who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a romantic partner or spouse.
People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
Are you trying to say friendship never ends ? Are you serious?
@@lokeshkhola7016 There are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships.
Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot.
And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends.
Platonic relationships and romantic relationships may be two entirely different things, but that doesn't mean they are equal when it comes to the amount of love given in them. The love in platonic relationships seems to be way stronger than the love in romantic relationships are since platonic relationships are not fragile like romantic relationships are. Also, platonic relationships also seem to be a lot more intimate and comfortable than romantic relationships are. Platonic love is one of the most purest forms of love there is, while romantic love is one of the least purest forms of love there is.
Most people seem to be a lot more comfortable around their platonic best friends than they are around their romantic partners or spouses.
The concept of romantic love and romantic relationships seems to mostly be a man-made thing.
Sounds diseasey.
You talking trash, why can't they be in a relationship their so called best friends?
Girls should be taught how their behavior needs to change when they get married, no one teaches them that. You can flirt with all the boys when you are single and buy them all flowers and take them all out to movies, but you can't do that once you get married. You are committed to just one person. And trying to 'fix' their behavior after marriage is a challenge if not impossible. That's why the divorce rate is nearly 50%. We have been struggling with this for nearly 10 years now, I'm surprised we are still together at this point.
She is kinda cute 😏start of collapse
Dnt believe n male female friend ship👎
So, I'm friends with a girl, except apparently I'm not, or what?
@@coolfred9083 if she wanted to date would you date her?
@@JoshuaAdrianjones No
@@coolfred9083 Is she using you for attention?
@@vintagegirl7937 No she's not, and neither am I. Why do you think like this?
Here's a couples perspective on the same topic ruclips.net/video/lDCwS_f5hyc/видео.html
Hmmmm never looked at it that way because I didn’t see non of my male friends as sexual but my ex always wanted to get rid of them fortunately he got rid of 2 out of 3 but now I’m not even with him anymore smh
Your ex "got rid of them"? They'd be my ex too
It’s ducking (yes- ducks) bullshit. I didn’t spend years making those friendships for some selfish individual to use the Bible for their own gain (forsaking all others) to pretend they are the only thing that matters. Humility anyone? We are a social species. My partner claims I’m having emotional affairs all while telling me to follow “Dr.Harley”s advice: a man. A FUCKING MAN!
Is this the part where I confide ( or just connect, like for example this marriage therapist)in a man and pretend it’s not allll just emotional. Like... let me see.. same sex friendships? My opposite sex friends? My family? The marriage counselor ? I’m so done.
This thing... this “emotional affair” I’m having, you say? Oh yes I’m having it WITH EVERYONE LIKE A DUCKING HUMAN!! Jesus I’m a slut .
Bonita Castro honestly it really doesn’t matter who humans speak to it’s all in the heart. If someone wants to be with someone other than their primary they will. I feel if people are transparent in their relationships with people it’s all good but when it’s kept low key then it’s concerning. Just be faithful and transparent nothing to worry about 😉
The opposite sex can be friends if they are normal people. If they are not normal, then no.
Elaine normal is a dryer setting. I’d rather not trust myself this way.
No they can’t
Trust no one
@@jeffreymetz2612 So do you have no friends?
No male friends my guy
@@coolfred9083 Yes I have friends, and they are girls, lol...I dont need guy friends...the only guy friends I have is my brother, dad, uncles, etc. I'm not a attention seeker.. lol
@@vintagegirl7937 So if a girl has friends who aren't also girls they're attention seekers. Honestly, that's a really stupid way of looking at it.
Why doesn't a girl having friends who are girls mean they're an attention seeker too?
Are boys who have friends who are girls attention seekers? Why?
Also, what do gay people do in your _no friends of the opposite sex_ universe?
This isn't true dawg
Go back to BuzzFeed.
javimiami92 go find your brain cells
@@user-kk7dw3hu9k shut up Mexican
javimiami92 what?! lol
not true with all men and women.. sorry
Knowledge is Power 000 to be true it doesnt need to be true every time. Just generally true.
I wouldn’t chance it though.
Exactly
Why can't men and women be friends? Because men need to do it every day, maybe twice a day. And women need to do it once a month, maybe once a year. They get married and men feel frustrated and trapped with no way out, so they start looking around. That's 99% of the problem with all marriages. Occasionally you'll find that 1 in 1000 woman who wants it all the time, but that's a unicorn for sure.