Can Men And Women Just Be Friends? | Infidelity Q&A - Hasani Pettiford
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
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My husband doesn’t understand this and that’s why we’re now roommates. His allegiance is to his “friend”.
Your husband has female best friends?
Can your spouse have a friend of the opposite sex? The short answer is NO. The long answer is HELL NO.
If you commit to work on a relationship then keep your word. A committed relationship doesn't mean stay when it's good and stray when it isn't. The speaker is right, then they have the audacity to accuse you of being controlling, insecure, and not allowing them to have "friends" when you catch them straying or having an emotional affair.
Totally totally agreed ‼️‼️‼️‼️
In my country, platonic relationship is when one is in love and the other one doesn’t know about those feelings. Is like friend-zone.
That’s all it ever is. The man would gladly sleep with her
People asking if men👨🏾 and women👩🏾 can be just friends, is like asking if Tom🐱 and Jerry🐀 can be friends 4ever. The only way I think men and women can be friends if the men have no feelings towards that women, even that is not 100% safe because when men is hungry for sex beauty is not even on the list✔ so hell to the no📴
PREACH IT!
This is true.. If his male friends hangout with us then if there is nothing to hide about his female friends he should feel free to introduce his female friends too.. I've always thought that i was insecure but now i know it's the reality.
The world needs to hear this video !!!!
Yes! The NATURE of the friendships have to change & this is what most people don’t understand!
Exactly
I was actually waiting to hear you say. Your friend has to become my friend. Thank you.
Thank You for speaking the TRUTH!
Thank you for this video, my husband has best friend off opposite sex I became a friend with her because of him , but they are so close that now I regret that I lead him to be so free with her because I didn’t have any boundaries,
Cece Curkoska I can not do it for that very reason. It’s not even open for discussion for me. I’ve seen it pan out negatively thru the years.
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it has become a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work , all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this great Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
Yes thats why boundaries are so important in a relationship but its not all your fault either. You were open to meeting her and remained open minded to their friendship. But now I think whether consciously or not that your kindness has been taken advantage of. Idk if you guys are fixed or broken up now but if I were you I would have serious conversation with him that his relationship with his so called friend you fear is being taken to another level outside of whats acceptable to you, and you're not comfortable with it. Lay out what makes you uncomfortable. If you don't see proactive changes soon or he gets defensive towards you through the process I'd end it. I'm a guy btw. This answer goes for both men and women in thee kinds of situations.
This wouldn’t even be acceptable if it were the other way around whether it’s committed long term relationship and especially while being married
You are preaching.....PREACH....This is freeing me, Oh this is really freeing me.
I am required to forsake My Mother and My Father to be one with her, And she thinks Chad is staying in the circle ? Uhhh, NO !
thank you! this is a mic drop for so many conversations.
That "friend" word has been abused more than a rodeo clown!
My father gave me some great advice when I was younger on this subject
he said "if you want to be her friend, then be her friend HOWEVER, if you are sleeping together, you're NOT friends, you're lovers."
This is the first time I have heard anyone voice my same thoughts. Thanks for the video.
This is so on point . 💯
Thank you very much for this. I don't believe men and women can be friends and I have had this conversation with many people, including women, and they swear men and women can be friends. Thanks to your video I can now explain in an articulate way why men and women can't be friends.
Scientifically, men and women are not designed to be friends but rather be lifelong partners. Regarding partners it is more that just being romantic and sexual. It's about teamwork in a marriage.
If a man has a platonic relationship/friendship with a woman with an intention to marry, then it is safe and satisfactory. But it still requires effort to work on your marital relationship. Just because friends get married does not mean they will stay faithful.
To really stay faithful in a marriage is when both partners have to be self-sacrificing by spending more time with each other and also varying their communication styles with mixture of sweetness and seriousness.
In other words, they don't have to be ALWAYS romantic neither do they have to be ALWAYS unromantic. There should be a balance.
LOL! Speaking from a perosn with zero relationship experiences. Well, I have seen relationships fail in real-life and films plus I get a little bit of relationship advice form my mom sometimes.
There is no need to agree nor disagree this is just an advice from my perspective.
Nailed it!
Very accurate and clear! I think I found the answer to my question because I could see it coming in my relationship. Thanks!
WoooooW you are sooo articulate! I love it! well said
KeOShAsWoRLd thank you
You are a fantastic speaker! You have a gift to speak! On this subject I think it is very difficult to be friends with the gender type you are attracted to. I also think the only way you can get away with it is if the other person or yourself is unattractive. But sometimes you are with someone so much you see good qualities in them and they become attractive. Yes, setting boundaries and making sure your significant other knows about everything should work most of the time.
An "attraction for your friend, and an allegiance to your partner" "your heart is going in one direction, and your mind in another"..... WOW. And tell me again, why you don't have a deep attraction to your partner? What is this allegiance you've developed for someone whom you don't have that much in common, or do you? I would call it settling... You settled homie....yep, for a bond not founded in your own recognized Truth. Stop playing with your breath. Either get with the person you have a for sure bond with, or stay with the person you love and introduce them and set the boundaries. Be completely open.
My God this was the most articulate answer to this question ever💯🔥
Excellent commentary!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this is very true. Most wont understand this unfortunately
Thank you for speaking the truth
Agree 100% Great video.
I loved that answer. "The Nature"
I just watched a video with somebody else saying the exact same thing. Wtf? Word for word lmao I’m weak
As long as you keep it on the initial common ground, there will not be any problems. Its when you TRY to expand your land, so to say, is when it all happens.
I love it
My wife just made plans with her male coworker for ALL of us to go to the lake this weekend, without consulting me at all. This is disturbing. Especially since they've become closer apparently in the last few months and this man is recently separated from his children's mother.
bad news man! The fact that she felt comfortable making plans without consulting you and WITH another man is crazy! I don't care if the plans are for you to "come along", that is something seriously wrong if your wife thought that would fly with you.
Did you go?
Dead on point!
You said it all.😩
I love the background music lol
Thanks alot
For me I always looked at men I meet either I don’t wanna be associated with them cause their a bad person or they seem decent enough to talk to/friends, same for girls. I never looked at some one immediately and liked them (romantically) , I now have this one person who I can think of a good person,and friend but also romantically which I waited for.
SubhanAllah just look at the wisdom in Islam with regards to thes types scenarios
FACTS
I need way more than just physical attraction and similar interests to want to be with somebody I need a spiritual connection with them I need to feel like they would be a good parent I need to feel like the interest that we have in common are more than just the things we like to do, there needs to be chemistry, there needs to be sexual attraction not just physical attraction. Why is nobody asking questions like why is it hard for men and women to be just friends or what are some challenges why do people make this sweeping statement? Maybe… If you feel like men and women can’t be friends… Maybe you need to reassess what is important in a relationship and try for a little bit more IDK
Men and Women cannot be just friend - the only female can be your friend is your mother - i'm a man,so lets be honest - is impossible - naturally we are attracted to the opposite sex...Yes - it all started to be a friend...we may have common interest - play this play that...but later - you may like or she may like to play band together....so for me the answer is a resounding NO.
I’m a woman and I constantly have, this on going issue! Nearly every man, that I have formed a friendship with, has ended up being attracted to me😥 it gets me angry and sad because all I want is friendship.
😂😂
Khu Meng I think so .
I would love to have e platonic relationship which leads to marriage ...I find it so inappropriate to carry on relationships with others that wouldn't involve my partner
And that's what it should be about
Exactly your partner always comes first, the relationship always comes first
I like this.!I have found its Not the opposite sex I have a problem with. Its my partners behavior with or towards that's F'd up. He's getting a thrill talking n enticing them sexually. Its so ugly I have backed off cuz the last thing I will do is say don't be friends with them. Its him, he's wrong.
No,,, if your married there is no such thing as platonic relationship
My partner made an opposite sex friendship over a year ago. I'd been with my partner for over 25 years at this point. I was fine with it until she started acting weird. She came home from her "mothers" house and I could notice a change in the way she acts. Suddenly her phone was on silent, she wouldn't leave it lying around. I later found out she had been going for days out with him without my knowledge. Once I confronted her about it, she just said we're friends. I later found out she had told this guy that she was single. Can you imagine how I felt? She has never let me meet him in all this time which is just shy of a year and a half. She would have private conversations with him whilst I wasn't around and I later found out they had been flirting via text. I had enough and gave her an ultimatum and basically told her to ditch her friend or she couldn't be with me.
I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other.
Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone.
Women tend to be more emotional, more caring, more empathic, more compassionate, more affectionate, more loyal, more nurturing, more understanding, more sympathetic, more sensitive, more kind hearted, more peaceful, more calmer, more gentle, more expressive, more intuitive, and more outward than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can’t with men. Men, on the other hand, are not that emotional, and thus can’t bond with other men in a special way.
Women are more comfortable being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won’t really have, or with men and men.
Most women like to do affectionate things with their female friends like cuddling with them and holding their hands and be touchy-feely towards each other, while most men would never do affectionate things with their male friends (especially not cuddling with them or holding their hands or be touchy-feely towards each other). Men are usually much lonelier than women are. Men don't often talk about their personal problems with their male friends like how women do with their female friends.
Females produce a lot more oxytocin than males do. And that's a reason why women tend to hug a lot more and be a lot more physically affectionate than men do.
Definitely possible but the womamust be very strong minded, make the boundaries very sharp and clearl and never move them. If she is in a relationship with another man eg her husband, she needs to make this clear and tell her husband, about all her male friends and i ntroduce him and them to each other. Explain the basis of the friendship eg work or sharedhobby in terests etc in something her partner might hate but she loves, so why torture him with her boring hobbies, work matters etc or deny herself the right to share these with others, who can enjoy or help her etc? If there is trust, openness, integrity, honesty, genuine love and caring, pure friendship, this should cause no dramas, even if there are some single people involved. I have had many such great friendships with men, both as a married and single woman, with all sorts of men, all ages, marital status, often becoming friends with their wives, girlfriends etc, too or helping si gle male friends find a girlfriend. But, always keep it strictly platonic and unromantic, non sexual. Sometimes malefriends "try it". They know they should not but get tempted. A polite "Thanks for the attentiobut no thank you, I am married or not looking etc..." will usually solve the sexual attraction problem without hurting their feelings or ruining the friendship and many a male friend has thanked me for not letting thego any further in what could easily end up as a disastrous emotional drama for ma y people typically involved in these situations that typically happen isocial friendship networks, which makes them so tragic ie groups of formerly caring, friendly, lovi g humans with shared interests end up breaking up. All over a partner who wanted more and could not exercise a bit of sexual sexual restraint but put their own selfish desires over the welfare of the entire friendship group. Pretty scummy, really. But happens all the time nowadays.
What if ur partner is bisexual? Does this then apply to both sex friends she has?
Absolutely NOT!
YOU DON'T BRING FRIENDS INTO MARRIAGE.
As a single Christian man, I must say this is very frustrating. I may as well just find a female "friend" on a dating site and be done with this social tightrope with women.
What is that music in the background?
Maxwell - Pretty Wings
Spouse is cheating but won't admit it cheating. Also say they love you. Crazy right
I'd say no. Some ppl just need to be surrounded by others at all times and to each his own but If he or she is attractive idc it'll always be one party of the "friends" who may feel more than the other. I believe that's why women normally have gay guy friends because they're attractive but know he won't touch them. Same with older guys. I see most attractive women at my job good friends with the 50 and up age guys. I think they do that to avoid issues tbh. Not saying old g's couldn't smash lol but the risk is way less likely. Long story short get you some ugly friends and you good😂
How do you deal with a partner or potential partner that expresses an overwhelming sexual desire for a celebrity? Then states they will do anything with that person if given the opportunity.
Tune in tomorrow I will answer live
When he poses the question "how intimate could you really be without some sexual desire interfering with your current relationship"? He's pushing the bounds of what a person should have designated in their minds already as "COMMON SENSE". Furthermore, if you don't already value yourself you surely won't value your partner. Why tf are you pushing any common sense boundary? Stop watching videos right away and bring into question your own sense of control! Who the hell are YOU to think so low of yourself as to allow MEDIOCRE Self talk to guide your actions. Wake TF up! If you have a friend of the opposite sex, introduce them to your current partner to gain an understanding of the boundaries in your relationship. Friends are present to enhance your relationships and quality of life THROUGHOUT your life. Not to ruin them. If you feel guilty about that meeting then there's something amiss and you need to end the friendship, or end the relationship. Plain and simple, be an adult.
What planet do you live on, where perfection is the norm. On earth people are a work in progress toward perfection.
Husband and wife should be more open when come to friends they should always let their Husband and wife know what going on there should never be any scent from one other and now days phone can be a problem
What is your email I have a question that I need to ask you.
Yes men and women can be friends but when your lover has TOO many of the opposite sex friends....we got a problem here. Like come on why do you actually need like 13 guy friends and 2 female friends . Men don't do this shit.
Oh no i feel so confused now after watching this video..😑.. i'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is celebrating his birthday this coming saturday and i asked him who will help him to prepare the party, i was shocked and feel jealous because he told me that he has a girl bestfriend who's going to help him.. he promised me she's just his bestfriend and nothing else.. but they hangout together.. i'm worried but of course i need to trust him to keep our relationship.. but honestly it really bothers me😕.. please, give me some advice guys😔
I’m not in the same situation because my LDR partner doesn’t have a best friend but beware because this goes both ways because they’re friends. One slip up or crack in the relationship and one of them might try to hookup. There’s a time and place for everything there’s church friends, work friends but they stay there. Out of those environments your significant other should be your only friend. Your partner should be your best friend.
They fucking when you’re not around ...
If you don’t know the girl personally and he is not transparent about it its a problem.
You should be alarmed. Looked at all that people are saying to justify it. If you have to be cautious then that’s reason enough. Family and friends let people down all the time. Perfectly fine to feel that way, and insecure has nothing to do with it....
Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it has become a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work , all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this great Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744
Not my boyfriend, his friends is his friend.He don't want me friends with his
Can you buy a nice classic car and not take it for a spin?
My husband has a female friend that he says I don't need to meet and, yet, the text messages between them have become sexual in nature. He takes her to the movies, dinner, drinks and dancing together. When I try to talk to him about it, he yells at me at tells me to stop invading his privacy.
He’s sleeping with her
If she is a friend of your husband thn the friendship should not become between you both. His made it clear to you ,dnt need to come between me an my friend but your husband is the one who has brought his female friend between your marriage.. Your husband is telling you stop invading in his privacy.The only person who get to have privacy is between you and your husband not him and his friend!!!!!!
How wud he feel if you had a male friend and you told your husband stop invading in my privacy.
You sed ther text mseges have become sexual in nature. Read between the lines take the blind folds of. need to give him an altermatum or a devorce
Jersey Girl in Orlando
He is committing adultery sister. He is not doing what is right.
You need to introduce him to a lawyer and get that divorce...he seems so toxic
Gurl get yourself a man friend also!! Do the same thing
I let him meet my friends on phone all, but his is secret
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Yes Men and Women can be Just Friends Steve Harvey doesn't think so I say he's a Damn Liar
Here's a couples perspective on the same topic ruclips.net/video/lDCwS_f5hyc/видео.html
Wrong!! So you can not hang out, feel platonic love with persons off the other gender? In that case a person can not feel love for family, bake a cake with mom, spend time or go fishing with dad, or sitt next to brother/ sister or play golf with cousins.
Talk, play games, go to cinema, go fishing etc you can do it all becouse you dont get sexual with every one of the opposite sex if you are normal and have healthy boundarys, some people dont have them and they whant to have sex with familymembers, friends, children even animals. So it depends on who you are some people are normal and can behave som can not. Dont be friends with sleazeballs! I dont think I know anyone who dont have a close friend of opposit sex (live in Sweden)
Kevin Klein Maybe that some people is ready to have sex with every one of opposit sex if they are adults but most of us just don't. We are not attracted to most people just to a few by nature. I dont care how mutch time I spent with some one if attraction is there it is there from the start (them be a couple not try be just friends) and with time getting to know somebody they become like family, after I put them in the friendzon they never become more than that.
Kevin Klein A friend is just a friend hallo! If you feel romantic feelings sexual feelings thats a cruch if its mutual then its a love story. I talk about friends. If you get to know a person of the same sex who is so nice and kind do you get romantic feelings for him to? so that platonic get to romantic? I dont hang around friends in love with hem waiting for a chans to sleep with them, the planet is bigger than that. And yes i put people in a zon "not ever having sex with zon " its for blood family and extended family=friends, and friends partners for exempel. As a god person and friend dont fuck family, friends or friends family!! Thats it!
You are entitled to your own opinion. But you should know that if your female friends known what you think they might not want to be friends with you. Females think "friends" like that is creepy. My tips to you is be friends with your friends and date other people.
Kevin Klein Of course we feel love for our friends (friends =people we love) Im 42 and have nerver developt romantic feelings for friends. Same kind Of loving feelings for all my friends female as male, children and adults). Becouse I se them as family, you dont!! Thats the diference. If you saw them as extended family (and it was only platonic) you could not develop tomantics feelings. You dont go to romantic stadiums with kids, or old men I guess. A real friendship is a relationship when gender, age, color or looks dont matter! You have the same feeling. As with family ex your kids, grandparents or parents. You want to spend time and hang out with them becouse they care and you love them! Friendship is only platonic thats what friendship mens. You dont develop romantic feelings for male friends or your grandma not even how nice she might be or your sister even If she is a amazing adult female and you are close platonic, becouse you to put people in the "non fuck zon" to, we al do (normal people). So you can be just friends, you are that with them, and that is just platonic!
Kevin Klein If some one gets romantic feelings for acquaintances and people they hang out with that is a normal way to start a love relation, but to pick up close friends thats like coming on till to family members. I don't know where you live but in Sweden you don't do that.