Should You Have Friends of the Opposite Sex While in a Relationship?
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- Опубликовано: 2 сен 2019
- If you are dating, engaged, or married to someone else, should you also have a friend of the opposite sex? And, if so, how should you navigate that friendship while still respecting your relationship?
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NO! Because that opposite sex "friend" will become the shoulder to cry on when things hit a rough patch in the relationship/marriage and then the devil will open up all the doors to infidelity and an affair. You're playing with fire by having "friends" of the opposite sex in the confines of relationship/marriage. I don't care if this approach sounds old school or if haters try and say to me that "you're just an abusive, insecure, jealous, controlling, manipulative person for doing this. Don't you trust your girlfriend/wife?" You bet I do, but I also know that very rarely does a man stay "friends" with a woman who he doesn't have feelings for. And worse of all I can't help but feel those opposite sex "friends" are just waiting in the wings licking their chops for their turns just hoping your relationship/marriage will fail. So you bet I see any of these opposite sex "friends" in the confines of a relationship/marriage as a threat. I'm about to hit my 30s and still waiting for God's timing to bless me with the wife he has in store for me in His time, but I for one will be making sure I have no other friends of the opposite sex in the picture at all except her. Can't risk any temptations like this. A Christian marriage needs to be guarded/defended like your life depends on it because it literally does. And that means sacrificing existing friendships with the opposite sex so the devil can't tempt you with infidelty and having an affair. Sadly most of my millennial generation doesn't seem to understand this concept.
True facts my ex girlfriend overseas who is Christian was having a rough time with life and her friend of like 4-5 years (who is a male) came to visit her with his mother for 2 weeks from the USA. He was there so she can cry on his shoulder and when I questioned pictures of them together I was blamed, insulted, and then blocked. Thought I had a pure Christian girl but na.
@@ghostsniperable353 No opposite sex friends, no risk of the devil tempting a person with infidelity and an affair (emotional or physical) sorry this happened to you. :( The devil will do anything to destroy a person's relationship and putting opposite sex friends in a person's path while they're already in a relationship is a huge tactic of his.
I agree 💯
I think it's okay if you are not courting or married to someone. If you are not in a relationship then it's okay.
Hey. People who say you jealous, controlling & manipulative. They are right because I was like you years. All that destroyed my marriage because I complain about my ex wife friends(females & males) & family. My ex fiance did the same thing to my family &girl best friend. I am just helping you out.
Good stuff 🙏
I decided to watch that video. Complicated business. It sounds like that situations could create a lot of confusion for both of the guys.
So here's the thing. We can't just have our spouse or mate in our lives, we need as many good people around us. However, there are boundaries especially when you are in a relationship. Your partner is now your new best friend as he or she should be. Why is she going to the movies alone with another male. It seems sort of wierd and is quite disrespectful. I think her husband has intuition and is seeing something that she isnt or is dishonest to herself about. Men know men.
This is an excellent video and a very informative video with great advice. I definitely 100% agree how people need to be extremely careful when it comes to opposite sex friends when married. I don't think it's a sin for a married person to have opposite sex friends, and I don't think it's a sin for a married person to have close friends of the opposite sex, but married people shouldn't have friendships of the opposite sex that are "too close", and married people shouldn't put themselves in tempting situations with opposite sex friends that can easily lead to an affair. A lot of times when people have affairs, they say things like "I didn't mean for it to happen; it just happened". Those kinds of things happen when people put themselves in tempting situations that can easily lead to an affair.
It's very important to have reasonable safeguards in marriage to help prevent things like adultery from occurring. Without reasonable safeguards in marriage, it's extremely easy for an affair to take place. Examples of good reasonable safeguards to have in marriage are avoiding having opposite friendships that are "too close", not spending too much time alone with someone of the opposite sex, not having an opposite sex friend over your house when you're home alone, and not going over an opposite sex friend's house when they are home alone.
If a married man has a female friend who is having marriage problems, and the female friend wants to talk to the married man about her marriage problems, it's best for the female friend to talk to the married man and his wife together or a married man and a trusted friend together about the marriage problems instead of the female friend and married man together alone talking about the marriage problems because when a woman is having marriage problems, she's extremely vulnerable for committing adultery. When a married man and female friend are alone together talking about marriage problems, it can easily cause the female friend to feel like she's falling in love with another man, it can easily lead to an unhealthy emotional attachment, etc, which can cause an affair to occur.
I do think if a man has a platonic female best friend and the man gets married, the man can still be friends with that woman, but their friendship won't be the same as it was before due to being married, and the man can't be best friends with that woman anymore since when a man gets married, the man's wife is the man's best friend.
Im being patience in the Lord for a spouse. I was told to be friends get to know another person and if i can see a future with them.
Going through this right now with my wife and her childhood friend. I am trying so hard to be supportive. Good guy, but it triggers some past marriages that bot ended in infidelity. I dont want to Mate guard her.
I been with someone for 18years and he just meet a female like 4years ago and he told me he has feelings for her and this other female call CPS on me and he just keeps talking to her about personal things but him and I live together and we have 7 kids together and he taken me to court for custody of our kids
Could someone please give me advice and pray for my situation? My fiance and I have a small child together. We weren't married when I got pregnant, but now we are redeemed by Christ and engaged for marriage. I don't understand if rules still apply for our situation as they would in marriage. I believe they do.
My fiance has always dealt with lust in his past and what he called an addiction to beautiful women. He had and still has many beautiful female friends, a lot who are his exes or women who are not in Christ but living in the flesh still. One friend was someone who bothered me the most. A single mom who got pregnant 1 year before me, who he has been friends with for a lot longer than me. Their bond always felt inappropriate, but it was embarrassing for me to confront about. It brewed mistrust and insecurity. At one point I did bring it up and he understood. Now we have a female housemate (someone also at my church), and while I trust her a lot more, she is also beautiful and they spend lots of mornings and evenings chatting in the living room while I'm taking care of the baby in my room. It brews more doubt, fear, and insecurity.
How do I approach these awkward situations? It feels like he doesn't treat me like his best friend and therefore I've been doubting our engagement and our church doesnt care about how I've been feeling, they keep saying we are already married in God's eyes. I am terribly confused at times.
What bout if they only texting! Not too often but texting other opposite sex becauae want have more relation for their business. But for what i see their texting rarely talking about business jusy more casual texting. And i feel bad about it
Many have often incorporated puritanical measures in the name of wisdom. It’s good to avoid being in situations in which our weakness will be manifested. But what if what God really wants is for us to just not have those weaknesses at all? Since when was safety and fear guiding principles for our Christian faith? What did Christ do? How was he around women?
How was him around women?
@@joelitos2000 How about John 4? Or Luke 7:36-50? These are incredibly personal and intimate settings (in John 4 Jesus is even totally alone with a woman). Jesus himself had women disciples/followers. There is not a single verse in the Bible that teachers men and women can't or shouldn't be friends, nor in Jesus' actions. And if we look at the examples that we have recorded (a miracle that we have any interactions recorded that Jesus had with women) they show us quite the opposite. Moreover, as I illustrated above, it would seem to contradict the whole ethos of Jesus.
One might say, "Well he was Jesus! It's different!" But that's just cherry picking. If we follow Christ than we follow by example, minus those things that only his divine nature can achieve (e.g. forgiveness of sins, by his name are we saved, etc...)
The suggestion that any mere mortal human's conduct could ever get anywhere near the pure and holy conduct of Jesus is totally misguided. Jesus was totally immune to sin and temptation. Of course we try to follow Jesus as our example, but we must recognize that the rest of us are fundamentally broken and sinful, and so long as we are on this earth, there is nothing we can do to ever completely escape our weaknesses. Jesus came to save us from our sin and weaknesses, not to ask us to "just not have them". Some of us have better self control and judgement than others, but we are all prone to sin no matter what. We are called to love others and have godly relationships with all sorts of people from all walks of life, but within those relationships there are so many nuances and angles that have to be considered. I thought this video summed up this specific issue of having close friends of the opposite sex very well. Friendships with the opposite sex while a person is single is one thing, but those dynamics and boundaries totally changed after a starting a serious relationship with someone which hopefully leads to life long marriage.
@@MrPTManningI agree with you 100%.
@@IceKnight366 I have to say we are humans and we can’t expect people to be just like Jesus. We must also avoid situations that are more tempting. That said we also don’t have to completely isolate as couples. In ideal relationship we should want to work (as a couple) as a team to befriend, serve and minister to others. Let us also be honest, one day our spouse may die (should now the widow or widower nw be shut off from others which actually is not that uncommon). My father made his friends family friends and now that he has passed away I have kept those friends. Yes, I do agree with your viewpoint more but we should still be careful to not be in a tempting situation. That said everyday presents new challenges and changes and we should adjust accordingly to continue in God’s will.
Its our JOB as Christian men to Ward of PREDATORS and to PROTECT our Women... Its also our Job to Find WHOLE AND HEALTHY women who DO NOT seek validation Through the members of the opposite sex!
Wish more men thought like that.
Is being friendly with the opposite sex only about validation?