Dealbreakers | Couple Things

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  • Опубликовано: 23 мар 2021
  • This week on Couple Things, we talk about some potential dealbreakers when it comes to relationships.
    You guys asked for it, so here are a few of the "dealbreakers" that we cover:
    :00
    Can you have a relationship with an ex? 1:40
    Can your spouse have friends of the opposite sex? 4:06
    Faith 9:01
    Is diet a dealbreaker within a relationship? 17:16
    Kids 30:40
    Marriage 33:55
    Cheating and infidelity 36:56
    Rapid-fire questions 40:19
    Physical abuse 44:32
    If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at / couplething...​
    And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format - we might just choose yours! Email us at couplethingspod@gmail.com.
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    FAN MAIL ADDRESS:
    Shawn and Andrew East
    750 N San Vicente Blvd.,
    East Tower, 11th Floor,
    Los Angles, CA 90069

Комментарии • 167

  • @emmyg7156
    @emmyg7156 3 года назад +8

    My husband and I have been together for 15 yrs, we have different religious beliefs but we make it work through understanding, and respect. I wouldn’t change anything, he’s a blessing!

  • @lisakolker2883
    @lisakolker2883 3 года назад +6

    There are SO many of us who grew up with one parent who is Jewish & one who is not, and it works. I think underlying values can be more important than sharing a religion, unless religion is important to you. For you two, it’s such an integral part of who you are as individuals that it probably would’ve been hard to date, let alone marry, someone with different religious beliefs. But for a lot of people religion is not a core component of who they are. It depends more on how tied someone’s sense of self and family are to their specific religious beliefs and practices. That could be the same for different cultural or ethnic backgrounds.

  • @kileytchang1247
    @kileytchang1247 3 года назад +2

    My personal dealbreakers are definitely values/religion, how they treat others, and financial responsibility

  • @redbarnhomestead7384
    @redbarnhomestead7384 3 года назад +1

    Andrew is correct. You aren’t ready for a relationship if you have a focus that rests above the relationship.

  • @betsyhaarsma-wc7pi
    @betsyhaarsma-wc7pi Год назад

    "Fast-forward your life to the day before you die. What makes you say you had a successful life?" Such a thought-provoking thing!!

  • @corbinschmidt
    @corbinschmidt 3 года назад +6

    I love the open-mindedness Shawn clearly brings to these conversations ;)

  • @tootsiepop91
    @tootsiepop91 3 года назад +3

    Wow, I love Andrew so much. What a great partner you have Shawn. You two are blessed.

  • @vanessajanik4623
    @vanessajanik4623 3 года назад +4

    Andrew used the word “obligation” when describing Christian marriage. Maybe I misunderstood the context but I think “covenant” better describes it. It’s not just about us 2 ppl, it’s about honoring God in our marriage.

  • @ChristinaGrace05
    @ChristinaGrace05 3 года назад +9

    PLEASE DO A PART 2!! this was incredibly insightful to those both in and out of a relationship :)

  • @darciekimbro5603
    @darciekimbro5603 3 года назад +6

    This was deep! I agree with your opinions on most all of this. Great episode, I think we need a part 2. 😊

  • @kileytchang1247
    @kileytchang1247 3 года назад

    One of my favorite episodes so far. LOVE YOU East Fam

  • @meganperry2962
    @meganperry2962 3 года назад +21

    I feel like infidelity was seriously downplayed. Very few couples can truly overcome and have a healthy thriving relationship after infidelity. It is most definitely the exception and not the rule. I agree with most of everything else but I feel like you guys brushed it off as not a big deal.

    • @kerner9
      @kerner9 3 года назад +2

      because they are friends with jana kramer.

    • @meganperry2962
      @meganperry2962 3 года назад

      @@kerner9 I get that but their marriage is exactly what I’m talking about... seems to be in constant turmoil

    • @madisonetl8023
      @madisonetl8023 3 года назад +1

      Agreed.

    • @lisagrace6471
      @lisagrace6471 3 года назад

      @@kerner9 who is jana kramer?

    • @lisagrace6471
      @lisagrace6471 3 года назад

      I think their vibe about it was interesting...

  • @marriedforlife
    @marriedforlife 3 года назад

    This was so good!! Thank you for all of the truth you shared.😀

  • @katieadams2837
    @katieadams2837 3 года назад +2

    This is so helpful! I appreciate you diving into how different diets can be tough on a relationship. I'm working through an eating disorder (ARFID), and it absolutely comes into play when dating. Thanks so much for acknowledging that it can be a real challenge!

  • @abbieb1214
    @abbieb1214 3 года назад +2

    I love that you guys brought up diet as a dealbreaker! I was a hardcore vegetarian for the first 5 years of my relationship with my fiancé and he was a big meat eater but somehow we made it work and both came to the relationship with understanding and supporting each other. It was definitely an adjustment at first, and we often eat completely different meals but at the same time so that might not be for everyone but we’ve made it work! I started expanding my diet in the last year and now eat more meat but my partner and I have always supported each other even though we differ in our food preferences. Great episode!

  • @mrskaitimorris9836
    @mrskaitimorris9836 3 года назад +2

    Ahhh I love Shawn talking about ‘choosing’ your person! Thanks for being so insightful guys 🥰

  • @mdbtptblw
    @mdbtptblw 3 года назад +2

    Loved this episode! I agree abuse is a dealbreaker but everything else I feel can be worked through IF both people in the relationship are willing to put in the effort and give each other the respect their differing lifestyles, habits, beliefs, behaviors, etc. deserve. We are all unique individuals and when we enter into a relationship with someone we have to recognize that our ideals may not completely line up and that's okay. It's natural.

  • @lisagrace6471
    @lisagrace6471 3 года назад +1

    Way to talk about the challenge with your significant other's families values being different- great point- yes you can figure it out among yourselves but your relationship will be affected by the greater family's values and practices as well. REALLY great point about thinking about the long-term stuff and giving examples about even how celebrating Christmas and how that will affect how you celebrate holidays from that time forward. I feel this is something rarely talked about and we as a society could benefit from it.

  • @kimberlyeckl3471
    @kimberlyeckl3471 3 года назад

    Great show! Thanks!

  • @mariahkoester7305
    @mariahkoester7305 3 года назад

    Yes I'd love to see a part 2 of this!! Your discussion "in the weeds" was really insightful, although I will say I think sense of humor is a deal breaker

  • @katiehanson6253
    @katiehanson6253 3 года назад +5

    Andrew .. on a first date? We want more guys like you in the world. ...it doesn't happen often.

  • @kellybump9908
    @kellybump9908 3 года назад

    Loved this!

  • @morgantolson1190
    @morgantolson1190 3 года назад

    Very excited about this podcast!

  • @kamibrents55
    @kamibrents55 3 года назад +3

    I agree abuse is a deal breaker, but as someone who works at a domestic violence shelter, it is never that easy. The people in the relationship are usually brainwashed and/or have multiple reasons that it is not easy to just get away. I agree though that it will not be a healthy or productive relationship, just not easy to get out of. Loved this episode though!

  • @lexihiggins9871
    @lexihiggins9871 3 года назад

    Would LOVE a part 2

  • @brooke850
    @brooke850 3 года назад +2

    Hi! I love listening as I’m working :) You both remind me and my husband when we talk!
    I do agree with the abuse aspect and getting out of a marriage in that case is okay for your well being and safety. I also have a second and that is cheating. I do think that God would not look down on a person for getting out of a marriage if they were cheated on. It’s their choice to forgive and work on the marriage but at that point if they choose not to and wanted out at the point of infidelity, that is okay. This verse I am referring to: Matthew 19:9
    “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
    Focus on the Family has so many talks on this stuff too and if a marriage is struggling there are phone counselors it is an amazing Christian recourse for couples going through very hard times!! I always pray that marriages can stay together and work through and you can get to a better place!! 🙏🏻❤️

  • @sonyalafoy5772
    @sonyalafoy5772 3 года назад

    AWESOME show!!! Totally agree with y'all, especially about marrying someone within the same Faith. I would also agree with you that every situation is different. I (Sonya) wanted the in-laws to love me. I dreamed of the mother in law who would be a friend. Brads mom has got some control issues and Brad says no one would have ever been good enough in her eyes to marry him. Now, my parents is different. They LOVE and ADORE Brad. And Brad doesn't get along with his mom and that was way before me. We have been married for 21 years. We have definitely had our struggles which does involve his mom, and I do wish it was different, and I do agree... You do marry the family, but when an in-law doesn't like you just because of control, that just wasn't a deal breaker for us. We have SO much in common. We both wanted kids and we are both Christian and even both went to the same kind of church. We both like outdoor activities! Having things in common is a BIG thing to us and has kept our marriage alive!!! We were married in 1999 and we have an 18 year old son (biological) and a 6 year old daughter ( adoption). I love watching your podcast!!! And congratulations on your new baby boy! We are so excited for you!

  • @madisonroud4204
    @madisonroud4204 3 года назад +8

    You should get Jana and Mike to talk about their book "The Good Fight". It's a great story on working through infidelity

    • @MrsMAS
      @MrsMAS 3 года назад

      They did do a podcast with them before-- I can't remember if they were talking about the book or not.

  • @lisagrace6471
    @lisagrace6471 3 года назад +2

    The thing I might add to your diet and fitness topics- I once knew a couple where the wife had depression and wanted to try natural stuff and the husband and his family *forbade* her from doing that and would only let her do medication. I decided right then and there I would NEVER marry someone who would dictate my health choices- I needed to know from the get go that they were ok with natural health and would support me in that. I did marry someone like that and I am grateful it has not become a problem point in our relationship. As a young mom, I still see couples struggle- like if a mom thinks her kids do better eating gluten free but the husband thinks that a load of crap. Or if one spouse wants to vaccinate and the other doesn't. I think healthcare paradigms and beliefs can cause issues in relationships and that is one area that I am grateful for it being ok among me and my husband.

  • @karensteinbrecher7922
    @karensteinbrecher7922 3 года назад +1

    I so agree with both of you, your spouse should be first one you go to. Even if you are mad at them. I'm from a different generation (65 years old). Common sense things that everybody should base their relationships on !! 🧡🧡🧡🧡💜💜💜💜

  • @mollyneff2726
    @mollyneff2726 3 года назад +2

    I know a lot of people who are married with different religions! I think it depends on how much they are involved in their religion because some people might say they are Christian, but don’t actually practice. So I think it really depends on a lot of factors & it isn’t clear cut at all!

  • @briannamcfarland7485
    @briannamcfarland7485 3 года назад

    My fiancé always said he didn’t want kids, then we had our son and it was a world changer. He loves in such a different way and it’s amazing. Kids change your life. 💗

  • @sarahansen9726
    @sarahansen9726 3 года назад +1

    You guys should do a commentary follow up (just you two) on your conversation with Glennon and Abby!

  • @Rebecca-zg1op
    @Rebecca-zg1op 3 года назад +1

    “If it’s supported, communicated and understood” are key to a successful relationship! Y’all should do a couple things episode with subscribers! I would do it!
    Also intro, y’all could say partners instead of spouses!

  • @brittanycarney1101
    @brittanycarney1101 3 года назад +1

    I would love to see a part two! And would like you see you touch on political beliefs.

  • @nekkog
    @nekkog 3 года назад

    Really good podcast!

  • @jennythefam
    @jennythefam 3 года назад

    Love yall

  • @mpdaugherty8549
    @mpdaugherty8549 3 года назад

    Yes please please let’s breathe no one is perfect and Yesssss we all make mistakes

  • @melodyrudy7338
    @melodyrudy7338 3 года назад +1

    My husband and i met in HS and his family was super religious and mine was not yet we have been together 33 years and married 28. So I think it can be done but there must be mutual respect and understanding. And basic morals and values can be the same with people that are in different religions and those that have no religion. Although he came from a family that belonged to a church and mine did not, we both shared the same values. I just did not have to attend a church and his family did.

  • @deld8244
    @deld8244 3 года назад

    I 100% agree with shawn in regards to food. My parents used to not see eye to eye on coffee. My dad hated coffee and my mom loves coffee. It came to a head where my mom would buy coffee and my dad would get angry because he didn't see why she would waste her money on coffee....... Food and drink are 100% related to lifestyle.

  • @tldawns
    @tldawns 3 года назад

    I TOOOOOTALLY AGREE WITH SHAWN ABOUT THE DIET ISSSSS A VALUE BLEIEF SYSTEM!!! Diet isss an extension of their personal mindset! LOL wow ur guys’ communication sometimes issss how Andrew is understanding the use of different words to explain the same thing!

  • @pineapplecrcles
    @pineapplecrcles 3 года назад +6

    Diet related : definitely can be a dealbreaker.
    I knew a guy with major food phobias and he eats only 2 or 3 things... basically the children’s menu in a restaurant.
    As a foodie, I could not be with someone who restricts their diet like that.

    • @autumnmarietaggart
      @autumnmarietaggart 3 года назад

      agree if i was with someone with orthorexia it would def be a deal breaker and almost impossible to deal with

  • @valerielinares2068
    @valerielinares2068 3 года назад +1

    ANY Kind of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, verbal, etc. is a HUGE deal breaker.

  • @amandadevecchi7239
    @amandadevecchi7239 3 года назад

    I'm not sure if you've done a video on this already, but I think it would be really helpful to make a video on what Andrew said about purity being an idol. And if you are willing, to share both of your experiences on how purity affected your relationship at all.

  • @Pagethewolf2001
    @Pagethewolf2001 3 года назад

    From personal experience: 1) different beliefs when it comes to the bible/Christianity/spirituality; 2) coming out a divorce and starte dating, when the other person has kids but doesn't have custody or visitation privileges; 3) piggy backing off of 2, different beliefs on raising kids in a blended family; 4) Ex's are just that, they are an Ex. Being civil is a wonderful thing when it comes to co-parenting but being chatty via phone/text all hours of the day is a big fat NOPE... I have more but these are my big ones. Thankfully God blessed me with my equal and we have been a blended family for 4 years now. It's been a bumpy road but it's all been worth it! Love yalls show!

  • @canadasweetie
    @canadasweetie 6 месяцев назад

    I agree with Andrew on this I think that if you’re friends with somebody for a long time there’s probably someone in that relationship or friendship that would take it a step further if the other person felt the same way and so it’s not really a good idea if you’re married,

  • @karlarivasgrathler5389
    @karlarivasgrathler5389 3 года назад

    I agree with Andrew! No opposite sex friends

  • @karenhastey8360
    @karenhastey8360 3 года назад +3

    I think it’s interesting how the conversation got way more intense when diet was brought up, and I wholeheartedly agree with Andrew on “lifestyles” changing, and what your mentor said about what is most important in finding your spouse.

  • @caitlinmchenry804
    @caitlinmchenry804 3 года назад

    I think diet may be a deal breaker if someone is unwilling to see the other person’s point of view, but in many cases, I think it can be worked through. I have seen my mom struggle trying to improve her health bc my dad is very happy eating the things that destroy his health, but after more than 5 years, he has finally begun to see how much better she feels and that his lifestyle is not beneficial to anyone. It is extremely difficult before the change though due to conflicting ideas on overall health priorities/lack thereof.

  • @roxiehart1
    @roxiehart1 3 года назад +1

    I know several couples, who've been married for decades, who are from different religions. It's so not a deal-breaker. It's just about respecting differences and having enough in common. You can be of two different religions but share common values, isn't that what it's about, one's values?
    You can be of the same religion, go to church/synagogue regularly and celebrate the same holidays but your values can still be different. Religion is only an issue if you make it one.

  • @morganfaranov7414
    @morganfaranov7414 3 года назад +13

    I completely agree with what you said about faith! I would not date someone who did not desire to grow in their relationship with God. Who wasn’t willing to help strengthen me in my faith, who wasn’t reborn again in the love of Jesus, who didn’t view marriage as a spiritual and unbreakable union, and a way to grow God’s kingdom here on Earth. That may sound a little crazy if you aren’t religious but it’s a deep and unchanging value that I have sought since I was a little girl. There’s so much that goes into it but settling for anything less than a man who was after God’s heart would be so unfulfilling for me

    • @lisaferrin362
      @lisaferrin362 3 года назад

      Agree! Jesus lover here. Being equally yoked is vital for me..

    • @lisaferrin362
      @lisaferrin362 3 года назад

      Love your answer , Morgan!! Totally ag

  • @maggiehalford1724
    @maggiehalford1724 3 года назад

    I have been married for over 32 years and my relationship with food has been so different and not once have I felt judged by my husband. It has been me having food as an addition in a way.

  • @jessiemaxwell6427
    @jessiemaxwell6427 3 года назад

    My husband is trying to gain weight while I’m recovering from an ED. It definitely has not always been easy but we did and still do make it work

  • @SamanthaB901
    @SamanthaB901 3 года назад +3

    When you discuss the difference in values that people can have, I think that is a very important point. If people have opposing values it can cause conflict, especially if they decide to have children because then who's values will you teach them?

  • @brittanymogler1952
    @brittanymogler1952 3 года назад

    Hey Shawn and Andrew! The religious aspect of marriage is definitely a challenge but I think my husband and I have a unique and rare experience with different religions that may give others hope or even insight on what it takes to sacrifice for your spouse on a spiritual level. Would love to share our experience and story with you.

  • @RebelFitz
    @RebelFitz Год назад

    For me it was very difficult dating someone with completely opposite eating habits from me. Eating habits absolutely tie into lifestyle. If one person is a health conscious vegan and the other is a fast food meat lover, the two lifestyles are likely very different and it's hard to mesh those together.

  • @susanoverstreet2355
    @susanoverstreet2355 3 года назад +3

    If food is more important than a relationship, run! There are things that are so much more important! Everything important can be worked out.

  • @madisonroud4204
    @madisonroud4204 3 года назад +1

    Carrie Underwood is a vegan and Mike Fisher (her husband) is a hunter! I've heard her speak about their issues there and how they make it work... really interesting!! You should try reaching out

  • @shepherd941
    @shepherd941 3 года назад

    To say something about the diet dealbreaker, I know I teacher who is a hunter. He and his wife have been married for a while, foster children together, have adopted a few, and overall come across as having a great relationship. His wife is vegan. So just goes to show that there are some exceptions, where a couple can make it work. I think one of the reasons having completely different diets is somewhat of a dealbreaker, is that a lot of diets and eating habits come down to your beliefs. If you believe strongly in animal rights and are strongly vegan or vegetarian, you’re probably not going to get along as well with someone who that doesn’t really matter to.

  • @isabelvarela5344
    @isabelvarela5344 3 года назад +3

    My mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian but they got less involved as they got older. My family celebrate both Christmas Hanukkah Easter Passover etc. But I think it’s easier to get along when both families are lax about the whole religion situation. It’s also all about compromise. My dad wanted us to celebrate Christmas like he did and for the first time my moms family bought a Christmas tree.

    • @fromlovetobabycarriage1193
      @fromlovetobabycarriage1193 3 года назад

      My husband is Jewish and I’m Christian and we celebrate both! My son loves celebrating both! I think almost none of these are dealbreakers! My husband and I are on different pages on a lot of these but still make it work!

    • @isabelvarela5344
      @isabelvarela5344 3 года назад

      @@fromlovetobabycarriage1193 right it’s the best of both worlds

  • @tahliawaddle2631
    @tahliawaddle2631 3 года назад +1

    I think it all kinda comes down to values, if you don’t have the same values honestly I believe you will end up heartbroken.
    If you are friends with someone of the opposite sex and you get into a relationship they should also become friends with your S.O. And you can hang out in groups but I do not think that you should spend time alone with friends or the opposite sex when you are in a relationship.
    Also by definition Shawn is correct Atheism is a religion
    I also think that the other side of the diet question is that diets can represent values and if they don’t align then that can definitely be a deal breaker.

  • @kylieword7451
    @kylieword7451 3 года назад

    I actually went through a divorce and am now remarried and have learned how to work through things and how religion can negatively affect a marriage and how religion can be worked through as well

  • @abbirodgers1938
    @abbirodgers1938 3 года назад

    Hey Shawn & Andrew! I just listened to this episode, and I completely disagree on the topic of diet as a dealbreaker. I lead a completely gluten-free diet NOT by choice. The best thing about my husband is that from the start, he was willing to lead a gluten-free lifestyle in order to 1) support me and encourage me to continue to keep my body healthy, and 2) to reduce the chances of cross-contamination occurring in our household and potentially making me sick. Just something to think about! 😉

  • @tinalayton7133
    @tinalayton7133 3 года назад

    Loved this series. My only input is about not being financially responsible. I kind of disagree. It doesn’t necessarily mean that person is a bad or irresponsible person in other aspects of their lives. Take it from a single Mom that raised 3 kids on her own with not much help from the Father. Our lives were happy and i have well adjusted grown adults. And they are very respectful and responsible. So I think I disagree with Andrew’s statement. My children were well taken care of by me. But we scraped by. Ok y’all much love and God Bless your family. ❤️🙏🏼

  • @ambermorris138
    @ambermorris138 2 года назад

    Before my ex-husband and I got married and for most of our marriage we believed in the same religion. The last year he told me he was switching religions and we had a talk about why and what changed. I told him that I didn't like it but that was his choice as long as he didn't push it on me that was ok. Towards the very end it did become a big problem for us.

  • @shelbyschroeder4034
    @shelbyschroeder4034 3 года назад

    I think diet could be an issue for wanting children too, I’m vegetarian (have been since 14 & I’m not 22) & my fiancé isn’t. We do plan on having children & if I wanted to raise our children vegetarian that would’ve been a dealbreaker for him. It was one of the first serious talks we had about wanting children!

  • @devonclowdus4704
    @devonclowdus4704 3 года назад +12

    As someone who is in a multi-religious relationship and who has a child that is raised half Christian and half Jewish I think you missed the Mark completely. It comes down to respect, respecting one another’s beliefs, teaching your child both perspectives so they can chose what they want to believe, and it’s about understanding that the traditions that are important to both of us we will make happen. I have to disagree with you saying it will cause issues bc I think if anything by coming from different backgrounds it has made us more open minded and more rooted in what’s important to us and our family unit.

    • @lisakolker2883
      @lisakolker2883 3 года назад

      Half Jew here & I agree with your assessment

    • @karenhastey8360
      @karenhastey8360 3 года назад +1

      They did mention there were exceptions, most people will not budge of religion if they are religious.

    • @isabelvarela5344
      @isabelvarela5344 3 года назад

      Yea I’m half Jewish and half Christian and I got the best of both religions and can choose what I want to follow. Both my families were open minded/ didn’t care and my Jewish New Yorker grandma even compromised and bought a Christmas tree for my Christian dad. Honestly its about compromise and raising your kids with good morals and values as well as respecting what’s important to each person as far as religion goes

  • @angcav8630
    @angcav8630 3 года назад +1

    Issac Rochelle and Allison kuch are engaged, been together 6 years, and have different diets AND religion. You should get them on the show !

  • @annettebannon9497
    @annettebannon9497 3 года назад

    It is awesome to hear how open Shawn is, I feel she has probably has had more life experience and exposure to many different people. Love her!!! Hopefully Andrew can have a more open mind that people don't always have to follow a certain set of "Christian" rules. Love you both!!

  • @isabelvarela5344
    @isabelvarela5344 3 года назад +4

    I think they should talk to a multi religious family to get more insight. I think that by talking to a multi religious family will change your perspectives completely.

  • @michelleturner3902
    @michelleturner3902 3 года назад +1

    I don't feel like that being friends with an ex is need it inless there kid or kids involved. Having the same relgions is very important to me.

  • @lexihiggins9871
    @lexihiggins9871 3 года назад

    Can we get an episode on breakups!?

  • @sizesmall1756
    @sizesmall1756 2 года назад

    'Doesn't take care of themselves mind and body ' is not just a style thing - could def be very difficult if one person is say depressed and doesn't look after themselves anymore, no matter what the other does. That can slowly erode the other person. It's not impossible to work through if the person is willing to change, but it really depends on their choice. If they choose to let themselves go, that's like choosing slow death, and the other person for their own health may have no choice but to get out of the relationship. But I know you guys were out of time!

  • @tldawns
    @tldawns 3 года назад

    Just seeing this now! Ok so I first thought friends with opposite sex was possible if there wasn’t feelings BUT UGH NOW I donttt because are all men visual & going to see women (even friends) as sexual though?? Would love to hear both ur thoughts!!

  • @molleehallett8149
    @molleehallett8149 3 года назад

    Have you listened to Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher discuss the diet issue? She’s a Vegan and He hunts! Crazy but they make it work

  • @marybethdevries6376
    @marybethdevries6376 3 года назад

    Where is shawns long necklace from?

  • @maggiehalford1724
    @maggiehalford1724 3 года назад

    I believe it is more of faith than different religions. There are so many similar religions. With faith or values comes more of an issue.

  • @lnhoughify
    @lnhoughify 3 года назад

    How soon do you have this conversation- immediately. Second date we went down the list and checked the boxes to decide if we wanted to continue. Then spent following dates kindof diving into each one.

  • @juanitaybarra9955
    @juanitaybarra9955 3 года назад

    My husband told me after living together for almost 1 year he did not want a child. He was 37 and I was 25 I said then leave. I won’t obligate you but I will not go for not having my own child. He said then okay we can have a child. I said I just want to have a child but I should have stipulated he needed to be an involved parent. He was always working I don’t know if that was the reason he was not so involved. I was the mom that went to all school meetings, did the discipline, did the Boy Scout camping, band involvement, doctor visits everything like a single parent. Even though he lived in the household. One day he said I know it’s hindsight but I should have been more involved after our son went away to college. I just looked at him and shrugged 🤷‍♀️. No comment, it was hard on me but it made my relationship with my son strained since my husband was the non disciplinarian and also would make comments that’s between the 2 of you, so I was the bad guy. Without the child issue we have always gotten along great though, married 27 years.

  • @foreveraftergirl
    @foreveraftergirl 3 года назад +1

    Boundaries, I have an ex, but I wasn't in love with him. We are both just FB friends, and that's it. Don't talk much, to me that's healthy :) we l aught how we both have 3 girls.

  • @lonit4939
    @lonit4939 3 года назад

    On the first topic, the thing that is missed is ex-spouses when you have kids. There is a necessity to continue a relationship in that case, for the benefit of the kids. And it would be best if that is a friendly relationship, where you can talk and discuss kid/parenting/family related stuff. You can't just not speak to them. All parents should be in it together.

  • @anelaandelija7481
    @anelaandelija7481 3 года назад

    Hi Shawn and Andrew

  • @miriamslack4086
    @miriamslack4086 3 года назад +1

    Amen, old school Andrew. Praying Andrew can be a godly influence on young guys today.

  • @patriciasheehan5734
    @patriciasheehan5734 3 месяца назад

    The man of the house should take out the trash 💙

  • @user-mr4bx1ld2p
    @user-mr4bx1ld2p Год назад

    Diet is Not a deal beaker! I will often switch to salads from foods my husband eats! Also when medical issues arise and one requires a certain diet what are you going to do after 45 yrs of marriage. Diets can easily be worked through.

  • @TommyWiseauu
    @TommyWiseauu Год назад

    I don’t think diets/eating habits/disorders all that big of a deal breaker (if one person is more calorie counting and the other doesn’t care about calories). I think diet plays a huge roll when it comes to being vegan/vegetarian. When food becomes a moral high ground. Not about who is more fit and in shape or who has a disorder. Marriage is about getting pass those obstacles. Also an eating disorder is understood as a mental health problem. Being vegan/vegetarian comes with morals and values one might have. A vegan/vegetarian might have a mindset that if someone eats/consumes/uses animal products they are a bad person. No one thinks an anorexic/bulimic is a bad person.

  • @missliz85
    @missliz85 3 года назад

    💜💜

  • @carrieholden3171
    @carrieholden3171 3 года назад

    For the first question I used to believe this was possible but now I see it as even if your spouse thought they were okay with your relationship with the opposite sex or ex I would never want to allow Satan even a crack to get into my marriage. I think that you should protect your marriage above all else and while something may never happen it could cause some hidden insecurity to fester. Even the most confident person or trusting individual has a breaking point. The problem is that we all think we are stronger when it comes to sin than we actually are. Great conversation!!!

  • @moykogirl
    @moykogirl 3 года назад +10

    You can tell Andrew is more serious about Christianity than Shawn.

    • @ShelleyFayles
      @ShelleyFayles 3 года назад

      I have had the same thought.

    • @katiehanson6253
      @katiehanson6253 3 года назад

      I disagree.... she is just talking from a very real seeing of other people's perspective.... given how much time she spent abroad. To have that judgment is honestly kind of rude.

    • @moykogirl
      @moykogirl 3 года назад

      @@katiehanson6253 No I’m very confident in my statement. I’ve been watching them for a long time on RUclips and IG and it’s obvious. Not trying to be rude just stating a statement.

    • @meganperry2962
      @meganperry2962 3 года назад

      It’s not your place to make that judgement though. Shawn could hold back on camera to be sensitive to her non religious followers. You really have no clue.

  • @careyhough3214
    @careyhough3214 3 года назад

    im Baptist. my hubby is Prespatrian. sorry cant spell...... we work well. 18yrs. strong. Also I don't care if my hubby is friends with ex's they are an ex for a reason. or girls in general.... Now hubby doesn't like for me to be friends with any male, that he isn't all ready friends with

  • @pamelashimp5774
    @pamelashimp5774 3 года назад

    I have to say that my husband and I have been married for 28 years. One of his best friends is a female. She is also happily married. I have more than one men as friends. I totally trust my husband and he trusts me. We have had an issue in the past where someone else tried to change the relationship. We then immediately had a conversation & that relationship changed. However, that disrespect was the only way either of us had the right to dictate a relationship.
    The Bible says you should be equally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14-17 KJV

  • @videofan1010
    @videofan1010 3 года назад

    Diet is lifestyle. It will cause issues if each person can't or won't come to a middle.

  • @hairmessgirlmess4837
    @hairmessgirlmess4837 3 года назад

    I think guys and girls can be friends. I have guy friends who I have imagined being with just because I'm human but you always have a choice. You can control your feelings.

  • @HeatherLynseyMusic
    @HeatherLynseyMusic 3 года назад +1

    Maybe it’s the jealous side of me but I couldn’t handle my husband being close friends with an ex. Shew!

    • @dcambitionz2054
      @dcambitionz2054 3 года назад

      Thats not jealousy, people shouldn’t be close friends to exes in relationships.

    • @HeatherLynseyMusic
      @HeatherLynseyMusic 3 года назад +1

      DC Ambitionz you may be the first person to tell me I’m not being irrational in my life 🤣

  • @crazykatie1100
    @crazykatie1100 3 года назад

    Just recently, my boyfriend of almost 3 years told me he needs to figure a lot of stuff and we need to stop talking for a while. If he comes back and says and he still wants to be with me, how would you or anybody suggest I handle it? For those who might wonder, I've told him i love him but hes never told me the same

    • @OhhState
      @OhhState 3 года назад +5

      Have you ever seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? It sounds like your ex isn't really into you at all. If he comes back tell him you've moved on. Spend your time with someone who would move mountains, just to be in the same room with you. You're worth it.

  • @maggiehalford1724
    @maggiehalford1724 3 года назад

    Shawn is correct. God.gave us free will so choosing is a choice different in all. Abuse is a no deal as a child of this. My mother got out when I was young and seeing her now as a strong woman is hard fior some to see that’s it was 14 years before she got out and the man I callDaddy is my step-father actually. I’m so grateful that women have a place to reach out and laws have changed. Please please .reach out and feel the support you have. Don’t. Be so judging of the person being abused, help.

  • @victoriakane6170
    @victoriakane6170 3 года назад

    Love your content! Really enjoyed the discussion on diet/fitness, my partner and I prioritize our health over everything and most people would consider it rather extreme, but it works for us! We are both into biohacking, although sometimes he drives me crazy with how extreme he is (think Ben Greenfield, Dave Asprey, etc), but I do my best to look at those moments as an opportunity for patience, boundaries and ultimately, growth as a couple.
    One quick thing I can't help but mention (nerd alert) ..... be careful with your laptop directly on your lap like that Shawn, especially if you're using WiFi on the computer, the EMFs are super dangerous! Perhaps grab an EMF blocking mat, Harapad is a great brand :) bengreenfieldfitness.com/ben-recommends/other-products/harapad-anti-radiation-shield/
    Thanks again for all you two do, really love your work! Have a fabulous week!

  • @dianamccarthy2377
    @dianamccarthy2377 3 года назад +1

    Religion is definitely one of my big deal breakers, if someone is religious, I could never be with them in a serious relationship, partnership, marriage etc.

    • @OhhState
      @OhhState 3 года назад

      Same.

    • @Anne-ku3lj
      @Anne-ku3lj 3 года назад +2

      I’m the same but the polar opposite. I broke off an engagement after he came out as a die hard atheist. That would have been one hell of a depressing marriage for both of us.

  • @ginnyg2003
    @ginnyg2003 3 года назад

    Great podcast. Small note: atheist is not a religion, it's a lack of religion. Atheists follow many different (and often conflicting) philosophies about life and how relationships operate.

  • @robinwallace9655
    @robinwallace9655 3 года назад

    Are you CoC by any chance?