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If i remember correctly, here in Australia, you can get fined or more for walking down the road with a shovel and so on as its classed as a weapon. Fellow Aussies, correct me if i am wrong.
Sam here! Thanks for the compliments, guys, but this episode was edited by Lorelei :D she deserves all the praise. Lorelei and I will be sharing the Editors Cell in the Blazement.
I like how Simon just casually stabs his desk, hurts himself, then carries on like nothing just happened with the knife still there until it fell, then stabs the desk again, harder, and it leads into a tangent
@@Philbrey Technically, we're up to three now, since he had to redo it in this one hehe! :P When I was much younger, a friend of mine did that with one of my knives on a small coffee table I had, which seriously ticked me off! I musta yelled at him for an hour straight, while he quietly sat there with this "I don't wanna die like this" kinda look on his face because I was waving the knife around the whole time 🤣🤣
"DAVE HAS EATEN SWAN!!!" Even after all these years, Simon's enthusiastic commentary makes me giggle like a little kid. Ever since I first saw the "laughing fits" and "bloopers" they started to keep in his more fact-based channels, I knew I needed this in my life. It NEVER. GETS. OLD.
I remember my first Blaze video. I had extensively watched his other channels, eventually I was recommended Brain Blaze/Business Blaze and it immediately became my favorite.
@@kaldogorathi was the same, I had the really long epic blaze come on while I was listening to things in the shower That was 2 years ago and I've now seen every single Video on this channel 😂
I used to casually watch Top 10s and Today I Found Out not knowing this channel existed I pretty much exclusively watch Brain Blaze from Fact Boi now, it feels weird going back to his more serious channels
I think Simon has read about the derailing contest and decided to step in and start derailing himself. That's how you assert dominance on the basement dwellers
It’s official I have been watching brain blaze for too long, that I now know all of Simon‘s tangents already I literally have heard all of these stories before in other videos, it got to the point where I had to check and make sure this was a new video. Love you Simon.
I don't remember hearing about a $500 knife before. Not like I watch all of his videos, but damn, I sure do end up watching lots of them. More than enough to constantly be going "yep, comon, heard this one already".
The moment I knew my ex was beyond all redemption: His mother (who had invited herself to live with us) came rushing into the house one day carrying two purses & babbling excitedly in Spanish. She handed one of the purses to him & the two of them proceeded to rifle thru it while she continued to carry on in Spanish, grinning from ear to ear, as they examined the wallet, counted money, looked at credit cards, pulled out a checkbook, etc. At some point, she looked at me & realized I didn't speak Spanish & didn't understand what was going on. In broken English, she explained to me, "I was at the Mexican restaurant next to the laundromat & a woman came in with her dog & ordered food. When they called her number & she went to pick up her order, I grabbed her purse & ran out. I was a little bit afraid of the dog, but he didn't do anything. He just sat there. He didn't even bark." Puzzled, I said, "Dog?" as you don't really see many dogs in restaurants. "Yes, a dog. A big dog. You know, the dog, they help the people...with the cane...& the glasses..." as she pretended to hold a cane in one hand while she motioned to her eyes with the other. "You know. Ciega...cegado... How you say in English?" 😲😲😲😲😲 She had stolen a blind woman's purse when the woman went to pick up her food order at the counter!!! OMG! What kind of soulless demon spawn did I have staying in my spare room?!? Who tf steals a blind woman's purse?!? My head reeled at this revelation for a while before the second wave hit me: THIS was the woman who raised my boyfriend, who taught him right from wrong! Not only had she stolen a blind woman's purse, but she had rushed into the house, beaming with PRIDE at having done so, BRAGGING to her son about how easy it had been! It was at that moment I realized he had ZERO moral foundation on which to build. It wasn't matter of not knowing right from wrong. He literally had NO CONCEPT of "wrong," coz if snatching a blind woman's purse while she picks up her food order at a restaurant counter isn't WRONG, WTF IS?!?!? Nearly 20 years later & I still am shocked at the depravity of that woman! 🤯
Usually following the law is seen as wrong by such people. Abiding the law are for the weak and stupid according to criminals with zero morals. Funnily enough it is their own narcissism and ego that makes them believe such and its often that same thing that ends up putting them in prison
Dude, was this in California? I know a Mexican lady whose blind mother had her purse stolen in a Mexican restaurant around 2005-2006. She rants about how horrible a person would be to do something like that to a blind woman and how sad it was because the purse had been a gift from her brother who passed away. I kind of hope it’s the same person just so there’s not 2 instances of this happening so similarly. Even though I know it likely happens way too often. 😢
@@EveryFairyDiesOMG, I never realised you're the Lorelei that edits these videos. It actually makes so much sense 🤦🏻♀️ I subscribed to you about a year ago, absolutely love the Murdered by Metal vids! Keep throwing in the occasional metal meme 🤘🏻
@@FuckedUpGenius Oh wow! Cross over! Thank you! And now you know why I've not released a new Murdered by Metal video yet 😁 I am working on the next one, it's just taking longer as Simon keeps taking away my notes and forcing me to edit. It's hard to sneak out of this basement, but I'm slowly allying myself with the rats and they say they can help. 🤘❤
Quite a few years back, there was a dog fight ring in my area. Multiple reports of stolen dogs. I was walking home with my dog when a guy started following us, cornered us, and then tried to snatch the leash away from me. I'm blind. He was trying to grab my guide dog. People suck. Great episode, team 👏
Okay what the actual… guide dogs are so obvious too how many different drugs was this clown on?! I hope you and your dog weren’t hurt. Guide dogs are elite among service dogs ❤
Unfortunately that doesn't surprise me and sadly it should. Defiantly some truly f#*ked up people out there. Glad you are ok and give your pup a rub behind the ears for me.. 👍 ♥
In the US, we call that game ding dong ditch, and it’s occasionally much more dangerous! My stepdad is a recently retired judge and some years back, there was a case he heard of a guy who got ding dong ditched and shot a kid in the back as the group of them were running. In trying to find the article, it seems this sort of thing has happened again and that some kids actually DIED. So I guess annoying childhood pranks aren’t great when gun control laws are lax as hell. My stepdad has also dealt with a case where these two sisters got jail time for stealing things from doctors, nurses, and patients in a cancer ward at a hospital. One would act like she needed to be seen, the other would steal. In his words, “I didn’t think I could even be shocked anymore.” So stealing a laptop from a blind man is 100% something I would expect someone to do.
Correct, bullet-resistant vests aren't so great against pointy things. Also, yes, I had a moment of deja vu because I remember the last time he stabbed the desk with that knife. Also the joke about PMs was that the previous one, Liz Truss, had a time in office comparable to the shelf life of some fresh produce. At the time the joke was a head of cabbage, but she managed to hold on a little longer than cabbage lasts. A properly-stored potato, onion, or apple, on the other hand, will definitely last longer than Truss' premiership.
Think Liz Truss lasted the same amount of days (or close) as Clough did at Leeds. To which one of the commentators on BT Sport said "he'd have undoubtedly thought he'd have made a great Prime Minister too". Which being wonderfully left wing and one of the best managers of all time, he probably would.
I get why there'd be a large population wanting to eat swans over there, but I'm not from the UK (Kiwi here) & I had that same enthusiasm about eating a swan. I even had a similar "But I want to eat a SWAN!" reaction after someone told me they taste horrible & not like a wild goose. I was like "But then why did royalty eat them?!? What, was it just because they COULD?! Oh, yeah, right, damn☹" ...."But I wanted to eat a SWAN!"
So happy to see Princess Bride bits. Well done Lorelei! It was great to see some fresh editing flavor whilst keeping with the blaze theme. Sam, make sure she gets extra toilet wine tonight
In practise bulletproof vests stop knives, but they are not certified for it because getting the certification would raise the price conciderably. There are additional plates for bulletproof vests that are designed and certified to stop knives. When I worked in the law enforcement, we were required to wear NIJ II level protection from hand gun bullets even though being stabbed was much more likely
1:05 - Mid roll ads 3:20 - Back to the video 6:10 - Chapter 1 - Knock knock ginger 10:25 - Chapter 2 - Eating swans 12:55 - Chapter 3 - Queue jumping 14:30 - Chapter 4 - Library gambling 16:10 - Chapter 5 - No armor in parliament 19:05 - Chapter 6 - Carrying planks of wood in london 20:10 - Chapter 7 - Carrying a knife PS: 22:20 Simon is such a "knife" guy
@@stevenotto1456 yes you can, just fast forward by ten seconds until the brands logo isn't on the screen. Also, by providing the time stamps of the mid roll ads and the next chapter, you've been given the EXACT means of being able to skip the ad.
'I think I stabbed a knife into this table before' On any other one of Simon's channels that'd sound strange. Also yes, you have. It was about 3 months ago (I think). Thank you Lorelei for editing this episode. You're a fking legend. 💜💜 Need to find a way to dub your name over Sam's, not getting the recognition you deserve!!
The Willy Wonka meme about prime ministers? Very Australian... love it. To explain for those who don't know, we had 3 prime ministers in one year, and 4 in a row that didn't finish their full terms. Its a running joke. 'Not happy, Jan' is an Australian colloquialism due to how popular that ad was (Yellow Pages)
I recently had the occasion to visit my nearest large city in the UK to spend a voucher I had acquired. My wife and I decided upon a medium sized pot, she had small and large but wanted something in between, and a set of steak knives. I could not locate the steak knives in the kitchenware section and, breaking a British unwritten law, asked a member of staff for assistance in locating the steak knives. He was very helpful and informed that they were in a locked cabinet but he would go and ask for the keys.When eventually purchasing my items I was asked if I would like a bag. Too right, if these knives are so dangerous that they can't be allowed out in a department store full of security staff and video cameras there's no way I'm openly carrying them on the bus back to my village. It takes an hour and a half. I know this is one large tangent but that's the zeitgeist round here isn't it.
One of the funniest lines in all of history is when Arthur Dent of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is on the Volgun homeworld (they're a race of unflinching, boring, malignant bureaucrats) and he has to fill out a form by waiting in a long line of applicants and he says, "Let me handle this, I'm British."
He did know that, kinda the joke he was making. More that he was trying to remember what the actual standard election cycle was when we weren’t being governed like a series of the apprentice
I do wish I could meet some of the people behind this script, or even just write Simon directly, because I enjoy this content so much. I’m subscribe to mostly all of his channels. The content is really good and I love listening to it. Also mad props to Simon. Your voice is really nice to listen to
Long intro, fire memes, Simon swearing and stabbing his desk?? Nice one boys, this is why we keep coming back! Only thing missing was yelling at Peter and walking/script slapping
Man that doorbell story was even better the second time. Also, that book of Mormon was the lds church which is only similar to the jws in being a Christian culture that knocks on doors. American jws haven't since covid, but I don't know if that's international.
What's fun is when you're a Catholic in Utah in the 70s or 80s, and the Mormons mistakenly have you on as an inactive Mormon, so the missionaries are at your house every day, so finally you just sit on your front porch with several beers and invite them to drink. They finally removed him from their list (he'd patiently requested dozens of times). My dad is awesome.
JW's haven't knocked on my door since the mid-90's when they interrupted a really good and ongoing FULL COSTUME D&D Game Session... and found out that I work as a reptile wrangler who frequently has to bring his work home for various reasons... They didn't react so well to the bobcat taking up residence under my back porch a year earlier to raise her kittens... so there's history... ;o)
Yes, that was intentional. Jehovah’s Witnesses stopped all forms of in person ministry and meetings during the pandemic worldwide as a safety precaution. Everything was done via letter writing, telephone, or virtual. In person activities resumed about a year and a half ago.
@@NeilCWCampbell God doesn’t protect us from foolishness and stupidity. We have to use the brains he gave us. I’m guessing that was said sarcastically, though.
My Dad told me a man should always carry a pocket knife, not for stabbing purposes of course, but for utilitarian reasons. My knife has been almost exclusively used for cutting rope to length, digging rocks out of my tires, opening packages and baring electrical wires. I never intend to stab anyone. Well, there was that one time I gouged my own hand but that was unintentional.
My grandfather was the same. I've always carried a knife with me since I was about 7. Came in handy far more times than I can count. Only time it involved a person was when a guy was having a mental health episode and decided he wanted to kill my dog. A four inch blade popping out changed his mind about that decision and he decided to go pick a fight with someone else.
My husband's pocket knife collection is fairly impressive. He has his 'everyday knives' and 'dress knives'. 😄 My preference is mother-of-pearl handled pocket knives. I carry a small one in my pocket and a large one in my purse (mainly because I don't have a CWP to carry my purple 9mm). 😊
American General James Mattis is credited with saying, "Always carry a knife with you, just in case there's cheesecake. Or you need to stab someone in the throat." (or there are swans, apparently.)
@@katrichardsonwriter General "Mad Dog' Mattis had some awesome quotes. If you have a chance, read his book "Call Sign Chaos". The man is a "Once in a generation" type of commander.
"Not happy Jan" I loved that ad. I am guessing Lorelei edited this video. She has the best memes. Is Lorelei Australian? So many good Aussie memes used.
In the states we refer to Knock Knock Ginger as Ding Dong Ditch. I remember a group of kids doing this to our door a couple times so my dad hid in the bushes near the door and gave them a good scare when they tried to ring the doorbell again.
I keep a seven and a half inch assisted opening locking blade survival knife in my coat pocket, in the US it's pretty much considered a mildly dangerous toy.
If you want to make million dollars, Sam should pull out of context Simon ranting and call the clip series "Learning stuff with Simon Whistler" and play that bumper at the beginning.
Love that they used ‘Not Happy Jan’ - that’s become a standard catch phrase in Australia after it was used in a Yellow Pages TV advertisement. The Aussie in me is proud! 😁
There was a British parliament oops a few years ago. The conservative party during an election campaign were stating they were the people's party, down to earth and understand the common man, ye well one of the cabinet ministers was outed for putting in expenses for his second home,the one he uses to be close to parliament, the expenses were for having his mote cleaned out, yup he lived in a castle with a fkn big mote around it that the British tax payer was paying the mortgage on, ye proper man of the people 😅
Swan mostly tastes like what it has eaten throughout it's life, so basically fish. Very fancy swans farmed to be eaten are sometimes fed on oats instead, such that they taste like porridge. One of the colleges at Cambridge University is permitted to serve swan once per year, but it's an invitation affair.
Came for the blaze, stayed for the Portsmouth references. I once got an ill tempered call from OFCOM while setting up a community station transmitter at fort widley after we had accidentally set the broadcast frequency to that of one of the largest commercial stations in the area and knocking them off the air over the city for an hour or so. Went for a Mick's after we unfucked the transmitter.
Simon that knife has no guard as someone mentioned when you stabbed your desk in a previous video. One of these days you're going to slice open the palm of your hand and when that happens I hope the editors leave that in.
Well, that and children aren't told to stay outside until the street lights come on, anymore. All of them are inside presumably playing video games or on video calls with friends.
Lawyers don't know it all. They have books. Police Officers on the other hand have to know a lot - in order to make fast decisions on the streets - offence or not, arrest or not - etc.
I would roll my eyes at the pun but, being blind, I have no control over those muscles. ... PS: You're right about the strategy. Unless you're really bad at doing things quietly.
go to the downtown Littleton light rail station in the Denver area at about 3pm. There a school for the blind there and everyday they'd get out of school and ride the light rail. lots of free pickings
@@joeg5414 so... Either you were already successful in exactly this endeavour OR (which I think is correct) you're one of the people attending and able of daredevil - ish fighting ; and would await my attempt. So I won't risk it.
The smartest thing to do when you ring someone's doorbell and then ditch is to just walk away casually, and when they come out looking for the person who did it just point in the opposite direction😂😂
Also, Whistlerman! That knife bit and you hurting yourself is just pure gold. Its the kind of "lets do this. Im so cool. Ouch it hurt. Fuck" humor and i love it. PLEASE keep doing stupid shit like that, its so relatable (not the knife per se) and just cracks me up!
We only ended up with 3 PMs in one year, because the 'Spanner' party membership replace their Clown with a Muppet (who lasted 44 days) because they thought her economic plan was as sound an idea as the "charge of the light brigade".
The vests part is correct, but there are some that provide blended protection. However it depends on what kind of bullet proof vest you have. If you have level 3 armor, a knife is gonna have a tough time getting through the ceramic portion of the vest.
10:55 I got a load of swans knocking on my boat right now for food, corn flakes n slices of bread seem to keep em happy BUT I won't be catching and eating one.
I'm from the US and I don't appreciate line cutting. Last year at the school that I work at some students cut half way through the line, so I got out of line told them that they couldn't do that and made them go all they way to the back, where I also waited.
In Georgia, US, you can own any knife you want, and can openly carry any style of knife as long as the blade is under 12" long. This includes switchblades which are illegal in many other places.
@@davidjames579 Some people here carry a knife openly on their belt. Most don't because it looks goofy and makes them a bit easier to steal, concealment isn't really an issue because it is normal to have a knife almost everywhere. If you are sitting beside someone and they pull out a knife you are more likely to assume they are cutting a thread or cleaning their nails than anything nefarious. If you are speaking of it cutting someone as it opens that is just not how they work. One solide is almost always blunt for safety and they do not have the force to push a knife through anything. Even an otf knife that would have a much better angle for stabbing as it opens will not do more than a tiny poke, by design. One with enough power would more likely hurt the user while in their pocket. It has an initial burst of energy but is slack until it locks in place. A piece of paper will prevent one from locking and the blade just falls back into the closed position. A switch blade is an easier knife to use one handed, thus easier to use when one hand is on the work and can't be taken off. A knife is a tool in a place where people have guns.
No. At least not for us. We do research. Paralegals do forms, get information from clients, etc. But maybe it works differently in other areas of the law. I do immigration.@@yayhandles
As a fully blind person, myself, it sucks when people steal expensive items from you. I was hospitalized, but I was marked as being totally blind, and had my long white cane. And people that were working on the stuff for that hospital, stole two phones and eight expensive charger… So everything that they stole was about $2000 and they never admitted to it even when I sent the multiple letters, including certified mail. So I know who stole it, but they won’t let me take them to small claims court because of something that I signed that they didn’t properly read to me when I signed for consent to treatment. Also, I would love to chat with Dave, he seems like a cool person, and I’d like to see how being blinders in the UK versus the US
I’ve only heard it called knock-and-run. You learn something every day. Also, the first thing that springs to mind for me about swans is people saying they can break your arm (they can’t… it’s a myth).
Where I grew up it was called "Knock-Door-Run." When I was at uni, I met people who called it various things such as "Knicky-Knocky-Nine-Doors" and "Knock and Nash."
It’s called ‘Knock & Run’ in the Midlands and I’ll fight anyone who questions it. ‘Knock Door Run’ I can tolerate and might just mean us never speaking again without resorting to violence. Anything else though- name the time and place!
@@illthinkofanameinabit I've just had a flashback to another game we played. It was basically hide and seek but you have a base (like a tree or a lamppost), and you have to get back to the base without getting caught. If you get noticed you have to race the seeker to the base, otherwise you're out. We called it 'Danny 123', but some people called it 'Manhunt'. Wikipedia calls it 'Forty-Forty' or '123 Home.'
I LOVE how often you guys use Randy Felt Face clips.....ty! So if what Simon says, that he stabbed his table on his right hand side, plus the other video I saw him stab his desk in the same place the knife is now, that makes 3 times ...... he seems compelled to stab his desk when knives are talked about, I vote the writers talk about these laws more to see how often we can get him to stab his desk
Simon, if you want the J.W. to stop coming to your door, just tell them to take your address off their route. It actually works. I learned this from a former J.W.
@@sleepypanda3694 Yes that would work too, Also saying you are an apostate. They are afraid of them too. Many won't even buy things from carport sales because they may be demonized. Interesting group.
In the UK there's a line on each side which you're not allowed to cross. The distance between the lines is twice the length that the tallest person in parliament could reach with their sword when the serjeant-at-arns position was created(1415). A lot of the rules were made to stop fighting which is so funny today given how they don't do anything of the sort other than just make it weird to hear. For an example you can't address anyone directly, you may only refer to them as honoured colleges or by their full position(so you'll hear a lot of "would the member of parliament for Birshire Wells please answer the question" style statements, the exception is the speaker who both can be addressed directly and address others directly; but that has a bunch of weird exceptions that are not worth explaining in a RUclips comment). You're also not allowed to talk when sat on the benches and someone else is talking so a lot of the complaining is done with weird sounds(so again a lot of "eee-arr"s, "urgh"s and "rah"s). I used to think PMs Questions was just weird adult stuff as a kid, not I understand more of it I can confirm it's weird even for adults.
@@scragar there are odd rules in the US as well that try to keep it civilized, like often you will see people asking to essentially "borrow" or take another member's allotted time to finish a statement, and also people forcing their time onto someone else for pressure. None of it works, really, and there was a scuffle recently. And at least one person brought their gun multiple times. But other countries have had actual fights recently, which is WAY more fun lol
Finally, the comment I've been searching for! Have you had ostrich before? I remember it being almost identical to beef, but I was around 12 at the time, and that was a few decades ago, so now I always question this memory. 🤔
One of the Mp's who over claimed his expences , was claiming for the cleaning of his Moat , another included the charge from his hotel for the porn channel
When your knife fell, I jumped too, but I always jump at loud noises. My next thought was why are you putting another hole in your desk, and then you said the same thing 😂.
Gotta love stupid laws. The sad part is someone had to do some of these things that they made a law for it. In Florida it's illegal to have relations with a porcupine. Not sure who thought sticking a sensitive part of your anatomy near a porcupine would be enjoyable.
@@bmstylee yeah it’s some really sad situation that have garnered politicians to create the law or the MPs have been on the old cocaine again (cocaine was found in the toilet of the UK’s parliament earlier this year)
@@timeywimey6664 When cocaine was found in the German parliament's restrooms it was speculated whether the politicians or the media people were responsible.
It depends on what region of the US too. Idk what it's called for knocking, but ringing the doorbell my friends and I always called it ding dong ditch, but when I moved to a different part of the US when I got older I heard a few people call it something else, just can't remember what.
@@xessenceofinsanityx That''s what I knew it as in the 80's. Thankfully, things started changing in the 90's and now almost no one knows it by that name.
May was P< for 3 years, Brain Boi, Johnson for three, Truss for two months, and Sunak is now starting his second year. I noticed the rapid turnover, and I'm American.
SIMON - I have to mention that the audio mastering on your podcasts is not great. Very often, the content is at a much lower amplitude than the ad spots, and it drives me batty.
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I can't believe homelessness and poverty aren't on this list.
Next time let's see him meet Ebenezer good
How do you get your criminals to obey those signs?
If i remember correctly, here in Australia, you can get fined or more for walking down the road with a shovel and so on as its classed as a weapon. Fellow Aussies, correct me if i am wrong.
E
Thank you, Sam, for the gentle roasting of Simon in every episode. You do the heavy lifting on this channel.
I'm pretty sure that's not Sam's name at the end credit... :/
@@EMdemohuh
@@ryanf1425 Sam didn't edit this specific video, they even had a meme at the start saying "not Sam editor"
@@stigmaoftheroseOh, that Sam's always fooling around.
@@RHCole hmm, now I’m questioning myself cause I know there is a new editor on some videos 🤔🧐
"I like views and money." Simon's honesty is incredibly refreshing.
Because he doesn't know the greatness of Communism
I hear girls like cars and money.
He has like 18 channels everyone knows he likes money lol
Truly, the age of authenticity.
Sam here! Thanks for the compliments, guys, but this episode was edited by Lorelei :D she deserves all the praise.
Lorelei and I will be sharing the Editors Cell in the Blazement.
Sam, I genuinely only watch new Blaze because of your editing, it's amazing! Lorelei is doing some good work here too though :)
Thanks Sam! Of all us trapped in the Blazement, you're my favourite. 🤘
Well done. Thanks
Is lorelei Australian? Or did not happy Jan get aired elsewhere?
I noticed that not Sam comment early in the video and now it makes sense! Lorelei you knocked it out of the park. Lovely work to you and Dave
I love Simon for so aggressively sticking up for Dave.
Simon looked like if he caught the thieves he’d have battered them right then and there
@@thejason755They'd have been in for a thorough tutting at the least. He's right though, what absolute shits would do that?
@@levilandes1719Perhaps some moron who thought that blind people can't use one somehow?
I like how Simon just casually stabs his desk, hurts himself, then carries on like nothing just happened with the knife still there until it fell, then stabs the desk again, harder, and it leads into a tangent
I like how Simon just randomly stabbed his table and just proceeds to continue as usual lol
Second time on Brain Blaze
@@Philbrey Technically, we're up to three now, since he had to redo it in this one hehe! :P
When I was much younger, a friend of mine did that with one of my knives on a small coffee table I had, which seriously ticked me off! I musta yelled at him for an hour straight, while he quietly sat there with this "I don't wanna die like this" kinda look on his face because I was waving the knife around the whole time 🤣🤣
He let the intrusive thoughts win with that stab 😂
It's almost like he used to have the desk the other way around when he stabbed it before.
"DAVE HAS EATEN SWAN!!!" Even after all these years, Simon's enthusiastic commentary makes me giggle like a little kid. Ever since I first saw the "laughing fits" and "bloopers" they started to keep in his more fact-based channels, I knew I needed this in my life. It NEVER. GETS. OLD.
I remember my first Blaze video. I had extensively watched his other channels, eventually I was recommended Brain Blaze/Business Blaze and it immediately became my favorite.
@@kaldogorathi was the same, I had the really long epic blaze come on while I was listening to things in the shower
That was 2 years ago and I've now seen every single Video on this channel 😂
I used to casually watch Top 10s and Today I Found Out not knowing this channel existed
I pretty much exclusively watch Brain Blaze from Fact Boi now, it feels weird going back to his more serious channels
I think Simon has read about the derailing contest and decided to step in and start derailing himself. That's how you assert dominance on the basement dwellers
**Blazement 🤑
It’s official I have been watching brain blaze for too long, that I now know all of Simon‘s tangents already I literally have heard all of these stories before in other videos, it got to the point where I had to check and make sure this was a new video. Love you Simon.
Me too buddy, been watching without missing an episode since Oct 2020.
I don't remember hearing about a $500 knife before.
Not like I watch all of his videos, but damn, I sure do end up watching lots of them. More than enough to constantly be going "yep, comon, heard this one already".
The £500m knife story is an old classic.
@@whyjnot420I love the tangents 🤣
@@whyjnot420 We've definitely heard about this magnificent £500 knife worthy of gods before 😂
The moment I knew my ex was beyond all redemption: His mother (who had invited herself to live with us) came rushing into the house one day carrying two purses & babbling excitedly in Spanish. She handed one of the purses to him & the two of them proceeded to rifle thru it while she continued to carry on in Spanish, grinning from ear to ear, as they examined the wallet, counted money, looked at credit cards, pulled out a checkbook, etc.
At some point, she looked at me & realized I didn't speak Spanish & didn't understand what was going on. In broken English, she explained to me, "I was at the Mexican restaurant next to the laundromat & a woman came in with her dog & ordered food. When they called her number & she went to pick up her order, I grabbed her purse & ran out. I was a little bit afraid of the dog, but he didn't do anything. He just sat there. He didn't even bark."
Puzzled, I said, "Dog?" as you don't really see many dogs in restaurants.
"Yes, a dog. A big dog. You know, the dog, they help the people...with the cane...& the glasses..." as she pretended to hold a cane in one hand while she motioned to her eyes with the other. "You know. Ciega...cegado... How you say in English?"
😲😲😲😲😲
She had stolen a blind woman's purse when the woman went to pick up her food order at the counter!!! OMG! What kind of soulless demon spawn did I have staying in my spare room?!? Who tf steals a blind woman's purse?!?
My head reeled at this revelation for a while before the second wave hit me: THIS was the woman who raised my boyfriend, who taught him right from wrong! Not only had she stolen a blind woman's purse, but she had rushed into the house, beaming with PRIDE at having done so, BRAGGING to her son about how easy it had been!
It was at that moment I realized he had ZERO moral foundation on which to build. It wasn't matter of not knowing right from wrong. He literally had NO CONCEPT of "wrong," coz if snatching a blind woman's purse while she picks up her food order at a restaurant counter isn't WRONG, WTF IS?!?!?
Nearly 20 years later & I still am shocked at the depravity of that woman! 🤯
Good on you to ditch him after seeing his "prisoner maker" of a mother, I am guessing you are American since you spoke Eng while she spoke Spanish?
Probably either American or Canadian. Finland is so dope. ❤🇫🇮
I was waiting for the punchline of what I thought was a convoluted joke..
What an absolutely terrible human you must be to do that 🤬
Usually following the law is seen as wrong by such people. Abiding the law are for the weak and stupid according to criminals with zero morals. Funnily enough it is their own narcissism and ego that makes them believe such and its often that same thing that ends up putting them in prison
Dude, was this in California? I know a Mexican lady whose blind mother had her purse stolen in a Mexican restaurant around 2005-2006. She rants about how horrible a person would be to do something like that to a blind woman and how sad it was because the purse had been a gift from her brother who passed away. I kind of hope it’s the same person just so there’s not 2 instances of this happening so similarly. Even though I know it likely happens way too often. 😢
Superb editing, Lorelei. Clearly Simon can't tell the inhabitants of the Blazement apart. 👍
One day he'll know my name...
@@EveryFairyDieswell I appreciate you. And he better! If not, I will scream it at him until he does...
@@EveryFairyDiesOMG, I never realised you're the Lorelei that edits these videos. It actually makes so much sense 🤦🏻♀️ I subscribed to you about a year ago, absolutely love the Murdered by Metal vids! Keep throwing in the occasional metal meme 🤘🏻
@@FuckedUpGenius Oh wow! Cross over! Thank you! And now you know why I've not released a new Murdered by Metal video yet 😁 I am working on the next one, it's just taking longer as Simon keeps taking away my notes and forcing me to edit. It's hard to sneak out of this basement, but I'm slowly allying myself with the rats and they say they can help. 🤘❤
In my area of the USA, it's called "ding dong ditch," which I like think is a little clearer than saying you're going to go beat up a red-headed kid.
Quite a few years back, there was a dog fight ring in my area. Multiple reports of stolen dogs. I was walking home with my dog when a guy started following us, cornered us, and then tried to snatch the leash away from me. I'm blind. He was trying to grab my guide dog. People suck.
Great episode, team 👏
Okay what the actual… guide dogs are so obvious too how many different drugs was this clown on?! I hope you and your dog weren’t hurt. Guide dogs are elite among service dogs ❤
@babblerscorner Who knows what he was on. Thankfully, my dog was fine. I was shaken up enough to install cameras in case he came back.
Unfortunately that doesn't surprise me and sadly it should. Defiantly some truly f#*ked up people out there. Glad you are ok and give your pup a rub behind the ears for me.. 👍 ♥
In the US, we call that game ding dong ditch, and it’s occasionally much more dangerous! My stepdad is a recently retired judge and some years back, there was a case he heard of a guy who got ding dong ditched and shot a kid in the back as the group of them were running.
In trying to find the article, it seems this sort of thing has happened again and that some kids actually DIED. So I guess annoying childhood pranks aren’t great when gun control laws are lax as hell.
My stepdad has also dealt with a case where these two sisters got jail time for stealing things from doctors, nurses, and patients in a cancer ward at a hospital. One would act like she needed to be seen, the other would steal. In his words, “I didn’t think I could even be shocked anymore.” So stealing a laptop from a blind man is 100% something I would expect someone to do.
Correct, bullet-resistant vests aren't so great against pointy things. Also, yes, I had a moment of deja vu because I remember the last time he stabbed the desk with that knife.
Also the joke about PMs was that the previous one, Liz Truss, had a time in office comparable to the shelf life of some fresh produce. At the time the joke was a head of cabbage, but she managed to hold on a little longer than cabbage lasts. A properly-stored potato, onion, or apple, on the other hand, will definitely last longer than Truss' premiership.
No right of self defense...
I thought the cabbage managed to outlast her, she was almost impressively incompetent.
Think Liz Truss lasted the same amount of days (or close) as Clough did at Leeds.
To which one of the commentators on BT Sport said "he'd have undoubtedly thought he'd have made a great Prime Minister too".
Which being wonderfully left wing and one of the best managers of all time, he probably would.
It was a Lettuce and it lasted longer than her. Cabbage actually has a longer shelf life so she'd definitely have lost out to a cabbage.
In the US, that's called ding dong ditch.
Looking for this. I think there is another American term for it as well… I think Simon did a video on it 😂
The boy in my laughed when I saw "ding dong"
In Canada is Nicky Nicky Nine Doors I think?? so strange
In Dutch ist Belletje lellen
Knock and Run... Australia
You can tell Simon is originally from the UK by how much he wants to eat a Swan.
We're told we can't so we all secretly want too.
I get why there'd be a large population wanting to eat swans over there, but I'm not from the UK (Kiwi here) & I had that same enthusiasm about eating a swan. I even had a similar "But I want to eat a SWAN!" reaction after someone told me they taste horrible & not like a wild goose. I was like "But then why did royalty eat them?!? What, was it just because they COULD?! Oh, yeah, right, damn☹"
...."But I wanted to eat a SWAN!"
Planning a trip to Germany simply to eat swan is the most 1980s of British ambitions.
The idea of Simon shouting at a random in Prague for ringing his bell and being mad surprised when they respond in English 🤣
So happy to see Princess Bride bits.
Well done Lorelei! It was great to see some fresh editing flavor whilst keeping with the blaze theme. Sam, make sure she gets extra toilet wine tonight
In practise bulletproof vests stop knives, but they are not certified for it because getting the certification would raise the price conciderably. There are additional plates for bulletproof vests that are designed and certified to stop knives. When I worked in the law enforcement, we were required to wear NIJ II level protection from hand gun bullets even though being stabbed was much more likely
Simon: "It's a 500 pound knife!"
Me, an American: "What's that knife made of, a neutron star!?"
Forged in the fires of Mordor by Rambo himself
I think I just heard Simon yell GET OFF MY LAWN! 😂
1:05 - Mid roll ads
3:20 - Back to the video
6:10 - Chapter 1 - Knock knock ginger
10:25 - Chapter 2 - Eating swans
12:55 - Chapter 3 - Queue jumping
14:30 - Chapter 4 - Library gambling
16:10 - Chapter 5 - No armor in parliament
19:05 - Chapter 6 - Carrying planks of wood in london
20:10 - Chapter 7 - Carrying a knife
PS: 22:20 Simon is such a "knife" guy
_RUclips Premium Subscriber_ What's a midroll ad?
@@sneakerbabefulit's the ads that Simon reads that we can't avoid.
@@stevenotto1456 yes you can, just fast forward by ten seconds until the brands logo isn't on the screen. Also, by providing the time stamps of the mid roll ads and the next chapter, you've been given the EXACT means of being able to skip the ad.
Off topic but damn..........Jim Tom Hedrick on Moonshiners died. RIP Jim Tom. 😢
what about the youtube ads people see when they dont know how to block them? @@cleverusername9369
Lawyers often don't know even half the laws either. Research is a big part of a lawyers job
In the US at least there's just so much variation, state-to-state, county-to-county, city-to-city.
It's not even the job of lawyers, it's the job of the paralegals at the law firn
Lol research is the paralegals' job.
Lorelei so good to see your edits. You always add goofy noises that make the episode more entertaining.
Thanks!
@@EveryFairyDies i loved your memes and editing in this video, your style matches so well with how hilarious and unhinged Simon's script delivery is
That duck-quack deserves about 10% of brain blaze's royalties, for it's fine work and contribution.
Except when Simon takes about Dave on a train I expect to hear a snippet of a Scooter song
@@EveryFairyDieslove to see Jim's pic of the queen eating the swan 😂😂
23:10 A swordstick is a cane/walking stick with a blade hidden inside.
'I think I stabbed a knife into this table before'
On any other one of Simon's channels that'd sound strange. Also yes, you have. It was about 3 months ago (I think).
Thank you Lorelei for editing this episode. You're a fking legend. 💜💜
Need to find a way to dub your name over Sam's, not getting the recognition you deserve!!
The Willy Wonka meme about prime ministers? Very Australian... love it.
To explain for those who don't know, we had 3 prime ministers in one year, and 4 in a row that didn't finish their full terms. Its a running joke.
'Not happy, Jan' is an Australian colloquialism due to how popular that ad was (Yellow Pages)
In case it hasn't been covered, I believe a sword stick is basically those canes that conceal a sword inside.
Strange in German its a scheide. I English that would be vagina. Sound better
An Englishman's weapon.
I recently had the occasion to visit my nearest large city in the UK to spend a voucher I had acquired. My wife and I decided upon a medium sized pot, she had small and large but wanted something in between, and a set of steak knives. I could not locate the steak knives in the kitchenware section and, breaking a British unwritten law, asked a member of staff for assistance in locating the steak knives. He was very helpful and informed that they were in a locked cabinet but he would go and ask for the keys.When eventually purchasing my items I was asked if I would like a bag. Too right, if these knives are so dangerous that they can't be allowed out in a department store full of security staff and video cameras there's no way I'm openly carrying them on the bus back to my village. It takes an hour and a half.
I know this is one large tangent but that's the zeitgeist round here isn't it.
Loved the Jim'll Paint It reference with the swan!
One of the funniest lines in all of history is when Arthur Dent of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is on the Volgun homeworld (they're a race of unflinching, boring, malignant bureaucrats) and he has to fill out a form by waiting in a long line of applicants and he says, "Let me handle this, I'm British."
The fact that Simon didn't know England had 3 prime ministers in the past year proves that he gets his news solely through the scripts he reads.
That's no longer true, as of Thursday, the 1st anniversary of Liz "Pork Markets" Truss taking over.
He did know that, kinda the joke he was making. More that he was trying to remember what the actual standard election cycle was when we weren’t being governed like a series of the apprentice
I do wish I could meet some of the people behind this script, or even just write Simon directly, because I enjoy this content so much. I’m subscribe to mostly all of his channels. The content is really good and I love listening to it. Also mad props to Simon. Your voice is really nice to listen to
I was raised with "knock and run" which is obviously a hangover from when most homes didn't have a bell but being kids we never thought about it.
Long intro, fire memes, Simon swearing and stabbing his desk??
Nice one boys, this is why we keep coming back! Only thing missing was yelling at Peter and walking/script slapping
I thought sitting down was supposed to make Brain Blaze calmer.
Now Simon casually talks to us with a knife sticking from the table.
Can we get a BIOBlaze run of the life stories of the various brain blaze authors?!
Yes please!!!
YES!!!
Man that doorbell story was even better the second time. Also, that book of Mormon was the lds church which is only similar to the jws in being a Christian culture that knocks on doors. American jws haven't since covid, but I don't know if that's international.
What's fun is when you're a Catholic in Utah in the 70s or 80s, and the Mormons mistakenly have you on as an inactive Mormon, so the missionaries are at your house every day, so finally you just sit on your front porch with several beers and invite them to drink. They finally removed him from their list (he'd patiently requested dozens of times). My dad is awesome.
JW's haven't knocked on my door since the mid-90's when they interrupted a really good and ongoing FULL COSTUME D&D Game Session... and found out that I work as a reptile wrangler who frequently has to bring his work home for various reasons... They didn't react so well to the bobcat taking up residence under my back porch a year earlier to raise her kittens... so there's history... ;o)
Yes, that was intentional. Jehovah’s Witnesses stopped all forms of in person ministry and meetings during the pandemic worldwide as a safety precaution. Everything was done via letter writing, telephone, or virtual. In person activities resumed about a year and a half ago.
@@smooshiebear80I would have thought God would protect them
@@NeilCWCampbell God doesn’t protect us from foolishness and stupidity. We have to use the brains he gave us. I’m guessing that was said sarcastically, though.
The funniest name I have ever heard for knocking on a door and running is "Knicky-Knocky-Nine-Doors." We simply called it "Knock-Door-Run."
12:57 lmao at the juxtaposition between this moment of swan induced rage and the immediate switch back to the script afterwards 😂
My Dad told me a man should always carry a pocket knife, not for stabbing purposes of course, but for utilitarian reasons. My knife has been almost exclusively used for cutting rope to length, digging rocks out of my tires, opening packages and baring electrical wires. I never intend to stab anyone. Well, there was that one time I gouged my own hand but that was unintentional.
My grandfather was the same. I've always carried a knife with me since I was about 7. Came in handy far more times than I can count.
Only time it involved a person was when a guy was having a mental health episode and decided he wanted to kill my dog. A four inch blade popping out changed his mind about that decision and he decided to go pick a fight with someone else.
My husband's pocket knife collection is fairly impressive. He has his 'everyday knives' and 'dress knives'. 😄 My preference is mother-of-pearl handled pocket knives. I carry a small one in my pocket and a large one in my purse (mainly because I don't have a CWP to carry my purple 9mm). 😊
American General James Mattis is credited with saying, "Always carry a knife with you, just in case there's cheesecake. Or you need to stab someone in the throat." (or there are swans, apparently.)
@@katrichardsonwriter OK, from General James Mattis I was imagining someone from 1850.
But with "cheesecake" I'm suddenly thinking the 1970s.
@@katrichardsonwriter General "Mad Dog' Mattis had some awesome quotes. If you have a chance, read his book "Call Sign Chaos". The man is a "Once in a generation" type of commander.
Love watching 'stupid'. I feel better about myself afterwards 😂
Lorelei, You. Are. A. Certified. Legend. 💯 Chef's kiss!
"Not happy Jan" I loved that ad. I am guessing Lorelei edited this video. She has the best memes.
Is Lorelei Australian? So many good Aussie memes used.
I am indeed an Aussie (among other things), so doing my part to represent! And thanks!
Thank you for the lovely and long intro, Dave ❤
No it wasn't a tangent to explain that mark on the desk we see in every video. I've always wondered about it and now I know.
We call it Chappy in Scotland when you knock the door and run away
In the states we refer to Knock Knock Ginger as Ding Dong Ditch. I remember a group of kids doing this to our door a couple times so my dad hid in the bushes near the door and gave them a good scare when they tried to ring the doorbell again.
I'm from the UK and we called it ding dong dash
I keep a seven and a half inch assisted opening locking blade survival knife in my coat pocket, in the US it's pretty much considered a mildly dangerous toy.
Seriously! It’s not like it’s a Lawn Dart…
When you said Seven And A Half Inch I thought you were going to say something else.
Simon yelping at the knife falling over was the funniest thing I’ve seen recently
"British Parliament is like Congress with a two drink minimum" - Robin Williams
If you want to make million dollars, Sam should pull out of context Simon ranting and call the clip series "Learning stuff with Simon Whistler" and play that bumper at the beginning.
Love that they used ‘Not Happy Jan’ - that’s become a standard catch phrase in Australia after it was used in a Yellow Pages TV advertisement. The Aussie in me is proud! 😁
The type of person who stole the laptop from a blind man should now be forever known as Simon!
There was a British parliament oops a few years ago. The conservative party during an election campaign were stating they were the people's party, down to earth and understand the common man, ye well one of the cabinet ministers was outed for putting in expenses for his second home,the one he uses to be close to parliament, the expenses were for having his mote cleaned out, yup he lived in a castle with a fkn big mote around it that the British tax payer was paying the mortgage on, ye proper man of the people 😅
It's called knock-a-door run in my area of the uk.
Swan mostly tastes like what it has eaten throughout it's life, so basically fish. Very fancy swans farmed to be eaten are sometimes fed on oats instead, such that they taste like porridge. One of the colleges at Cambridge University is permitted to serve swan once per year, but it's an invitation affair.
Came for the blaze, stayed for the Portsmouth references. I once got an ill tempered call from OFCOM while setting up a community station transmitter at fort widley after we had accidentally set the broadcast frequency to that of one of the largest commercial stations in the area and knocking them off the air over the city for an hour or so. Went for a Mick's after we unfucked the transmitter.
Love Mick's
@@colinsavory2484shame he doesn't do a swan burger.
World war two boys? Or larpers (
Simon that knife has no guard as someone mentioned when you stabbed your desk in a previous video. One of these days you're going to slice open the palm of your hand and when that happens I hope the editors leave that in.
We call it ding dong ditch in the US but it's a lot less common now with camera doorbells.
Well, that and children aren't told to stay outside until the street lights come on, anymore. All of them are inside presumably playing video games or on video calls with friends.
Lawyers don't know it all. They have books.
Police Officers on the other hand have to know a lot - in order to make fast decisions on the streets - offence or not, arrest or not - etc.
Stealing from blind people is a sound strategy. Best to do it to a group of exclusively blind people, no eye witnesses at all.
Thats what she said
I would roll my eyes at the pun but, being blind, I have no control over those muscles.
...
PS: You're right about the strategy. Unless you're really bad at doing things quietly.
Like the Only Fools and Horses joke.
"You were gun-running during a civil war?"
"Well that's the best time to do it Rodney".
go to the downtown Littleton light rail station in the Denver area at about 3pm. There a school for the blind there and everyday they'd get out of school and ride the light rail. lots of free pickings
@@joeg5414 so... Either you were already successful in exactly this endeavour OR (which I think is correct) you're one of the people attending and able of daredevil - ish fighting ; and would await my attempt. So I won't risk it.
"Anyway, the knife was like 500 pounds."
Me, an american: Holy shit 500 pounds?! ...Oh, wait, money. 🤦♀️
The smartest thing to do when you ring someone's doorbell and then ditch is to just walk away casually, and when they come out looking for the person who did it just point in the opposite direction😂😂
I see there is another semi pro "Ding dong ditch" player in the community.
Also, Whistlerman! That knife bit and you hurting yourself is just pure gold. Its the kind of "lets do this. Im so cool. Ouch it hurt. Fuck" humor and i love it. PLEASE keep doing stupid shit like that, its so relatable (not the knife per se) and just cracks me up!
We only ended up with 3 PMs in one year, because the 'Spanner' party membership replace their Clown with a Muppet (who lasted 44 days) because they thought her economic plan was as sound an idea as the "charge of the light brigade".
Australian memes and Oversimplified Robespierre? I think I'm in love with Lorelei
I see you too are a person of culture!
The vests part is correct, but there are some that provide blended protection. However it depends on what kind of bullet proof vest you have. If you have level 3 armor, a knife is gonna have a tough time getting through the ceramic portion of the vest.
10:55 I got a load of swans knocking on my boat right now for food, corn flakes n slices of bread seem to keep em happy BUT I won't be catching and eating one.
Well done Dave,you wee legend 😀
I'm from the US and I don't appreciate line cutting. Last year at the school that I work at some students cut half way through the line, so I got out of line told them that they couldn't do that and made them go all they way to the back, where I also waited.
That really was out of line of them.
In Georgia, US, you can own any knife you want, and can openly carry any style of knife as long as the blade is under 12" long. This includes switchblades which are illegal in many other places.
Switch blades are illegal to carry in Mississippi. I never quite understood why.
@@dee5298 Because they're easy to hide and then release the blade next to somebody.
@@davidjames579 My folding knife is easy to hide and I can open it next to somebody.
@@davidjames579 Some people here carry a knife openly on their belt. Most don't because it looks goofy and makes them a bit easier to steal, concealment isn't really an issue because it is normal to have a knife almost everywhere. If you are sitting beside someone and they pull out a knife you are more likely to assume they are cutting a thread or cleaning their nails than anything nefarious. If you are speaking of it cutting someone as it opens that is just not how they work. One solide is almost always blunt for safety and they do not have the force to push a knife through anything. Even an otf knife that would have a much better angle for stabbing as it opens will not do more than a tiny poke, by design. One with enough power would more likely hurt the user while in their pocket. It has an initial burst of energy but is slack until it locks in place. A piece of paper will prevent one from locking and the blade just falls back into the closed position. A switch blade is an easier knife to use one handed, thus easier to use when one hand is on the work and can't be taken off. A knife is a tool in a place where people have guns.
Lawyers don't know all the law, we just know how to find the law and how to argue about the law.
You mean your paralegals know how to find the law and you know how to argue it? 😉
No. At least not for us. We do research. Paralegals do forms, get information from clients, etc. But maybe it works differently in other areas of the law. I do immigration.@@yayhandles
In the US, we call it Ding Dong Ditch. For once a US name for something that makes more sense, lol
In Canada we called it “Nicky Nicky Nine Doors,” for some odd reason.
This is how I knew it as well. I knew the name Knock Down Ginger because I consume a ridiculous amount of British media for some reason.
The next episode of BB is gonna be titled "how to eat swan"
As a fully blind person, myself, it sucks when people steal expensive items from you. I was hospitalized, but I was marked as being totally blind, and had my long white cane. And people that were working on the stuff for that hospital, stole two phones and eight expensive charger… So everything that they stole was about $2000 and they never admitted to it even when I sent the multiple letters, including certified mail. So I know who stole it, but they won’t let me take them to small claims court because of something that I signed that they didn’t properly read to me when I signed for consent to treatment.
Also, I would love to chat with Dave, he seems like a cool person, and I’d like to see how being blinders in the UK versus the US
Love the cameo of Rob Scallon with his "Metal in inappropriate places" 🤘
I’ve only heard it called knock-and-run.
You learn something every day.
Also, the first thing that springs to mind for me about swans is people saying they can break your arm (they can’t… it’s a myth).
Where I grew up it was called "Knock-Door-Run." When I was at uni, I met people who called it various things such as "Knicky-Knocky-Nine-Doors" and "Knock and Nash."
It’s called ‘Knock & Run’ in the Midlands and I’ll fight anyone who questions it.
‘Knock Door Run’ I can tolerate and might just mean us never speaking again without resorting to violence.
Anything else though- name the time and place!
And don’t get me started on Tip-Top ice Lollies.
@@illthinkofanameinabit Lmao, "Tip-Top Ice Lollies" is a weird one
@@illthinkofanameinabit I've just had a flashback to another game we played. It was basically hide and seek but you have a base (like a tree or a lamppost), and you have to get back to the base without getting caught. If you get noticed you have to race the seeker to the base, otherwise you're out. We called it 'Danny 123', but some people called it 'Manhunt'. Wikipedia calls it 'Forty-Forty' or '123 Home.'
Knock-a-door run! It was knock-a-door run!
Hell yeah, Sam! More Judas Priest in Brain Blaze videos 🤘
It was the new editor Lorelei.
I have a guess about the 100 year old knife thing: It probably is about antique dealers being allowed to practice their business.
Sam is a king as usual, thank you sir. Dave, please....tell us more of mental terry
Loved the Oversimplified Easter egg
Dave, if you ever read this, thanks for all the hard work. I'm also so happy you can now see too!
I LOVE how often you guys use Randy Felt Face clips.....ty!
So if what Simon says, that he stabbed his table on his right hand side, plus the other video I saw him stab his desk in the same place the knife is now, that makes 3 times ...... he seems compelled to stab his desk when knives are talked about, I vote the writers talk about these laws more to see how often we can get him to stab his desk
Massive Randy Feltface fan, I got to see him live a few weeks ago! Expect to see more!
Simon, if you want the J.W. to stop coming to your door, just tell them to take your address off their route. It actually works. I learned this from a former J.W.
My gran told them we were satanist when I was younger, that also worked.
@@sleepypanda3694 Yes that would work too, Also saying you are an apostate. They are afraid of them too. Many won't even buy things from carport sales because they may be demonized. Interesting group.
UK: we used to bring in armour
US: I need to bring my gun into the House and Senate
In the UK there's a line on each side which you're not allowed to cross. The distance between the lines is twice the length that the tallest person in parliament could reach with their sword when the serjeant-at-arns position was created(1415).
A lot of the rules were made to stop fighting which is so funny today given how they don't do anything of the sort other than just make it weird to hear. For an example you can't address anyone directly, you may only refer to them as honoured colleges or by their full position(so you'll hear a lot of "would the member of parliament for Birshire Wells please answer the question" style statements, the exception is the speaker who both can be addressed directly and address others directly; but that has a bunch of weird exceptions that are not worth explaining in a RUclips comment). You're also not allowed to talk when sat on the benches and someone else is talking so a lot of the complaining is done with weird sounds(so again a lot of "eee-arr"s, "urgh"s and "rah"s).
I used to think PMs Questions was just weird adult stuff as a kid, not I understand more of it I can confirm it's weird even for adults.
@@scragar there are odd rules in the US as well that try to keep it civilized, like often you will see people asking to essentially "borrow" or take another member's allotted time to finish a statement, and also people forcing their time onto someone else for pressure. None of it works, really, and there was a scuffle recently. And at least one person brought their gun multiple times. But other countries have had actual fights recently, which is WAY more fun lol
I've eaten swan. It's delicious. Seriously, it's the best bird I've ever eaten. You're also right in thinking that it tastes a bit like goose.
Finally, the comment I've been searching for! Have you had ostrich before? I remember it being almost identical to beef, but I was around 12 at the time, and that was a few decades ago, so now I always question this memory. 🤔
@@yayhandles Sorry, I haven't tried ostrich. I know someone who has, though. I hear it does taste like beef.
I genuinely look forward to every brainblaze, when are we getting another epicblaze
I don't feel like Simon believes in his sponsor this time 😂
It is a bit 'loot crate for snobs' isn't it.
One of the Mp's who over claimed his expences , was claiming for the cleaning of his Moat , another included the charge from his hotel for the porn channel
Sam is Love, Same is Life.... (then I see Sam's comment.. and Lorelei can eventually earn the praise :-D but Sam is the OG BB ED)
Mormon missionaries knock on doors sometimes too.
When your knife fell, I jumped too, but I always jump at loud noises. My next thought was why are you putting another hole in your desk, and then you said the same thing 😂.
I’m a 3rd year law student in the UK there are some weird laws that I’ve stumbled across
Gotta love stupid laws. The sad part is someone had to do some of these things that they made a law for it. In Florida it's illegal to have relations with a porcupine. Not sure who thought sticking a sensitive part of your anatomy near a porcupine would be enjoyable.
@@bmstylee yeah it’s some really sad situation that have garnered politicians to create the law or the MPs have been on the old cocaine again (cocaine was found in the toilet of the UK’s parliament earlier this year)
@@timeywimey6664 When cocaine was found in the German parliament's restrooms it was speculated whether the politicians or the media people were responsible.
@@tubensalat1453 members of the UK Parliament have openly admitted to using hard drugs in the past
@@bmstylee Doesn't Bestiality cover this?
You should use the "Learning stuff with Fact Boy" transition on some of your other channels. It's perfect.
Who wants to tell Simon what we call that knock down Ginger in America?
It depends on what region of the US too. Idk what it's called for knocking, but ringing the doorbell my friends and I always called it ding dong ditch, but when I moved to a different part of the US when I got older I heard a few people call it something else, just can't remember what.
@@jokercardzz There's another name for it in parts of the US. But typing it out would violate RUclipss ToS and cause an immediate ban.
I was gonna say ding dong ditch… in the south, I’ve heard another term for the knocking part, but I’ll let you use your imagination for that 🫠
@@Plaprad I think I just discovered that, and it might just be the most 1950s Deep South thing I've heard
@@xessenceofinsanityx That''s what I knew it as in the 80's. Thankfully, things started changing in the 90's and now almost no one knows it by that name.
May was P< for 3 years, Brain Boi, Johnson for three, Truss for two months, and Sunak is now starting his second year. I noticed the rapid turnover, and I'm American.
SIMON - I have to mention that the audio mastering on your podcasts is not great. Very often, the content is at a much lower amplitude than the ad spots, and it drives me batty.